#the dorks ever™

[2aceofspades]

..part who knows of this spontaneous comic

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[strigital]

utterly adore how Gale likes to use big smart words, wave his hands around like a professor, make smug facial expressions, and walk about like he's already a god of magic yet the moment he catches some feelings towards Tav he's a flustered schoolboy who can no longer properly articulate his mind and not to mention when you ask him to kiss you he just gives you the cutest little peck? and when it comes down to laying some pipe mans ready to summon the most bombastic magical VR experience you ever saw just to avoid the dreaded doing of the sex IRL because Gale of Waterdeep The Magnanimous The Allpowerful The All-Knowing ex-boyfriend of Mystra is in reality a shy little guy who has no damn idea how romance works and for that i will forever love him

look at the way this big nerd stares at Auri I'm melting

[fishhateme]

so... Linkedin influencer au, anyone?

LinkedIn Influencer danny in the midst of the redbull breakdown™ made me think of like this random ass au

BEAR WITH ME

(i made a pt 2!)

Imagine Max being an up and coming engineer or something along those lines, and he's a genius in his field but he's antisocial as fuck (if you'd ask him he'd just say he's intolerant to other people's bullshit)

ANYWAYS he sort of *has* to network because of the horrors of the capitalist world and as he's scrolling through LinkedIn he comes across this... dork? He isn't exactly cringe, not like this other engineer (ahem ahem aerodynamic engineer!lewis) who posts photos of his bulldog going to the office -which is supposed to be inspirational?? Somehow??- or quotes about being a unicorn

(i realize I'm getting sidetracked about how funny lewis would be on LinkedIn so I'll get back on track)

Unlike engineer!lewis, this other guy on LinkedIn isn't necessarily cringe - he's obviously a bit older than max judging by his very proper punctuation (although it is... yknow... linkedin) and his weird hyper fixation with cowboy emojis anytime he gets a promotion or anything like that, but he sort of makes max do that thing where you exhale out of your nose instead of chuckling, and since that's the first semi enjoyable thing max has ever experienced whilst on the hellhole that is linkedin, he decides to follow him

He's forgotten about it at first, but then he sort of start refreshing his feed to check if the guy has posted anything, and then he's commenting on one of his posts about hiding honey badger stickers around his physics faculty office (apparently he works in a university or something, not that max reread his career trajectory ten times or anything) with laughing emojis (who comments on LinkedIn posts? Who is he, his father?) and they get into this weird sort of always-interacting-with-each-other-but-also-y'know-it's-linkedin-not-tinder sorta vibe

The point is that his coworker/reluctant friend lando drags him to this stupid engineering event that's supposed to be perfect for networking.

Max will never admit it, but he agreed to go not only to get away from his horrible boss, because Marko creeped him the fuck out and would criticize his work even if he reinvented Einstein's theory of relativity, but also because the funny linkedin guy posted he'd be there

Except max wonders around and around the stupid aerodynamics convention and, while he runs into that fucking guy with the decked out bulldog more times than he could count, he doesn't think he sees daniel?

He's not about to humiliate himself and ask someone, though. That would be desperate, even if this daniel -danyul- is sort of well known in these circles because his LinkedIn posts are semi well known (max chuckles at the thought of falling for an influencer, but not an Instagram model, instead a LinkedIn physics micro influencer)

After a few hours he gives up, deciding the best course of action is getting shitfaced and therefore successfully forcing Lando to drive back home through the inevitable traffic the convention would bring to town

He goes to the bar and orders a gin and tonic, then another, then a third (he really shouldn't have gotten a third, he was supposed to be looking for another job in the first place and that toto guy from the germany factories seemed interested in his resume, this was a bad idea)

Flushed, frustrated and pleasantly buzzed, he rested his forehead against the coolness of the bar, closing his eyes when he heard someone sit on a stool, an amused Aussie accent right next to him

"What's got you down in the dumps, mate? An equation broke your heart? A lever system rejected your advances?"

Max closed his eyes and barely even chuckled out of courtesy for the stranger. Dork, a distant part of his brain supplied, and although he'd used that same word for someone else his buzzed brain didn't connect the dots

"I was looking for a guy I know from LinkedIn but I think he didn't show up" he admitted, surprising himself with his sudden burst of honesty. Maybe he shouldn't have drank so fast?

The guy next to him cackled, and Max didn't lift his head because the lights were too bright and they'd hurt him, but he was pretty sure he heard the scraping of the stool legs against the floor signaling this random Aussie guy almost ate shit laughing at the patheticness of his situation

Great

"Screw him!" He said, way too cheerfully for Max's taste, and ordered himself a rose

Max lifted his head at that, if only to say how idiotic it was to order a rose instead of a real drink, and he almost gasped when he was met with dark curls and a dangerously toothy grin he'd seen before, on his LinkedIn home screen, on a tiny icon but definitely there

But before he could have time to react, Daniel was clinking his glass of rose against Max's half finished g&t, smiling mirthfully

"Don't worry, mate. People on LinkedIn are a bunch of cunts, anyway"

[mogamuncher]

Brucie is a menace to society: The Thesis

Urrgh the brainworms got to me again, so we're talking about some funky Brucie Wayne headcanons:

• There's a difference between Brucie Wayne interacting with the general public and random rich folks that he isn't too close with vs Brucie Wayne interacting with business partners, friends, or people Brucie is generally a bit more trusting towards

• To the general public and the more distant rich folks? Brucie is a himbo dork, a hot playboy manwhore who donates to charity all the time, a little dumb, a heart of gold, definitely seen as way too naive. Brucie is just a well-intentioned goofball who is very good looking, he's clumsy and kinda adorable, people just generally like him because of his Vibes™. Also just very good with kids, though his habit of adoption is brought up a lot in jokes

• But with long time business partners, friends and people he'd be closer to? Brucie is 100% a smug bitch, absolutely insufferable. He's like, still seem as mostly stupid and vapid, still a manwhore, but as they get to know Brucie more others definitely start to catch on whenever he's just fucking with people. Brucie can no longer get away with pretending like he's naive anymore, because these specific people have 100% caught him saying certain things solely because he thought it would be just so fucking funny

• Because of this, Brucie tends to be more playful with this select group of people, being less of an adorable himbo and more like a loud snarky friend, he's absolutely hilarious if you're actually in on the joke, has an awful habit of teasing others as well

• If you're particularly grouchy or insufferable then Brucie will dedicate the rest of his day to bother you in particular. He can and will just make up any excuse to have a meeting, or to tour at someone else's office, or anything and other to simply be able to annoy bitter people from a close range

• His biggest victims: Oliver Queen, Lex Luthor and Harvey Dent. These three will never know peace, the moment they got close enough to get to the more snarky side of Brucie it was game over. It was really common to see Bruce waltz through parties acting like his normal himbo self, only to do an immediate shift in attitude once he spotted one of them, the press usually found it hilarious

• Lex is the one that suffers under this the most since he's the bitchiest man alive, so Brucie is basically in speed dial to annoy this man 24/7, he's an actual menace about Lex to the point where he will make the trip to metropolis solely to piss Lex off on a completely random Wednesday. They're both the pettiest people to ever exist so the annoyance is actually kinda mutual, but Brucie often wins out since his reactions aren't really fully genuine (on account of being, well, Brucie), something that Lex is endlessly bitter on. To this day no one can tell if they're genuinely actually friends, or if they just hate each other

• Oliver does not get hit by the full brunt of the Brucie Wayne Effect™ as Lex does, but they both still snark at each other all the time, to the point that having a conversation with the two of them present becomes a comedy routine really fast. The accounts of the poor poor survivors that have ever third wheeled their conversations say that it was vaguely reminiscent of being the ball in a game of verbal tennis, as was read in a particularly descriptive article released by several bitter interviewers

• Now, of course Harvey is actually aware that Brucie isn't really fully real, like, he knows that it's mainly a persona, he's actually had full conversations and memories with Bruce instead of Brucie. Still though, Brucie and Harvey are like a menace duo, being targeted by both of them is a sentence to being messed with or manipulated, it's actually really impressive what they can get done together. Of course, they both use their methods for good, and to annoy people that are assholes while still somehow being polite, so it's more funny than anything, really

• Brucie is also just generally more mellow around Harvey, being less snarky and sometimes even quiet, staying in a sweet spot between Bruce and Brucie. Seeing Smug Bitch™ Brucie Wayne chill out a little whenever Harvey was around is a bit surreal to everyone else though, Lex and Oliver will forever complain about it

• Once Harvey became Two Face, Lex and Oliver both actually had some tact (yes, I know right) and gave Brucie some space to deal with it. A week later after the incident Brucie visited both of them with a big confident smile, beer and an invite to a party with only the family friends

• Not much changed after that, Lex is still insufferable, Oliver is still playing along with Brucie's bullshit to some extent, and Brucie is still a menace to society disguised as a harmless himbo playboy. Though sometimes the clear absence of Harvey is felt, especially whenever those quieter and softer moments of Brucie mellowing out simply cease to exist entirely

[kingqueensoobscene]

OMG YOU WRITE FOR LIL POOTIS' SCOUT... this series made me change my opinion on him to Insufferable Boston Boy to Okay He's Kinda Cute Actually™

so um may we get a Lil Pootis Red Scout x gn or fem Reader where Pootis also imprints on reader? like, he sees scout as his mom and reader as his dad (lol)

Scout is so fucking embarrassed when pootis calls them papa and mama the first time (cause he got a big fat crush on reader) but they reassure it's okay and that they dont mind

yadda yadda yadda shenanigans and they end up kissing :3 sorry for the long ask, feel free to ignore it !!

— 🌻 SunFlower anon

AHHHH!! I LOVED THIS REQUEST SO MUCH!!!! I rewatched the entirety of Lil Pootis just to do your idea justice! Enjoy!!

LIL POOTIS!RED!SCOUT X READER WHO BECOMES A PARENT TO LIL POOTIS

-Scout was your buddy. He had always been, ever since you enlisted, you made friends with one of the other young persons at Mann Co. Putting up with someone who was oblivious to most things and had no awareness at all was hard, even harder when you started to think that he was a cute guy, despite being the most annoying person spat out from Massachusetts. Noticing his habits, like putting his hand behind his neck and scratching his neck or noticing that his nose was small and his lips were pouty and things he did for you. 

-He always wanted to seem like a cool guy to everyone, but really? He is a dork. But a cute dork. Even before he got a crush on you, he wanted to help you out. He notices when you got it rough on the field, coming to your room to talk to you or even take you up the road to that one diner. He likes to go to the comic book store or go the park with you and eat snacks and talk until the sun sets. Now why is Scout able to do this still even with his newfound crush on you and without breaking down?

-Well, unlike canon Scout, he is much more calm with his crushes, not by much. He gets very nervous to talk to you every time he has to see you and starts stuttering and doing awkward body movements, however he relaxes.  He knows he doesn’t have to impress you, though he still tries, but you like him the way he is. As a friend, at least that’s what he thinks. 

-It kind of shocked you when he adopted a Pootis pet from the store. As I have said before, he has this “Cool Guy” persona he likes to play.  But he really cares about this little booger, though he was careless at first. As we move ahead, he does change his parenting style to care for Pootis. Though, Scout still had his moments. Pootis and Scout were never really apart when they didn’t have to be.

-Scout always liked having you over. Pootis did too, though for a different reason. Since you were never not around, and as Pootis grew older, he saw your relationship as the ones he had seen on TV or from his Grandma and the Spy. While, you two didn’t kiss or hold each other, which puzzled Pootis, but Scout would jump his eyes away from yours then back again when you made eye contact or scratch his neck again. You would face your full body towards him, mentioning details brought up in past conversation, playing with your hands way too much. You were obviously in love with him. And you, too, did not think Scout liked you back.

-You would play with Pootis, shake his feathers, draw with him. Pootis drew Scout and you holding hands while Pootis was drawn as an orange blob between you. The words Mom and Dad scrawled respectively. Scout would get embarrassed when he sees what’s on the paper you’re holding. Scout has told Pootis that you are not his “Dad”. But Pootis only gets confused. You care for both him and Mama, so how aren’t you? 

-You told Scout you didn’t mind being called “Papa”, even if you happened to identify as a woman or gender less, and Pootis immediately lights up. He immediately opens his arms and squeaks at you. You pick up the little fart and hug him. A sigh of relief escapes the boy. 

-No matter the weather, Scout always took Pootis out to play. You could catch them at the park, in the snow or making mud pies after the rain. Scout tells you there is no obligation to join them, but Pootis makes his lil sad face that makes you feel bad for not wanting too. You would do anything for this bird. Especially as his “Papa”. You played into it too much.

-Scout keeps photographs of the team next to his bed. He has many of you and him together, him and Sniper, him and a drunk Demoman, There is one be managed to get a photograph of a photograph of, that being you holding Pootis while he took the picture next to you, so the copy on the wall is blurry, but the original is kept on him at all times.

-You know how Lil Pootis has a habit of screaming. And do you know of the Psychological term, “Secure Attachment”?  Well, it’s when a child, in an experiment involving the strange situation procedure, is in a room with their parent and a stranger and the parent leaves, leaving the child distressed until the parent comes back and they immediately calm down. It’s like that except that you are babysitting him for Scout and you go to the bathroom, he will do that until you come back. 

-One day, Scout came back from a mission and he heard Pootis squealing from the kitchen and ran to his room. Pootis calmed down when he saw Scout and you came back after washing up. Scout looked at you confused. Then Pootis spilled out a “Mwah!” sound and opened his arms. He wanted a hug from both of you. Scout got rosy. 

-After coming home from the store to have a movie night with Pootis, Scout saw you and Pootis watching an old noir film on the channel before you two would watch Scout’s Dirty Harry cassette. You were mindlessly reading your comic Scout bought you the last time you two went on the beam bag. As he pulled out candies and some seed for Pootis, a squeak came from the little, squishy, orange bird to pointed at the black and white couple kissing passionately. You were confused. Yes, you cute little bird, they’re kissing. Then he paddles up to draw something. It’s a drawing of Scout and you, Mom and Dad respectively, sharing a kiss with a heart between you.

-Scout gets super embarrassed and gently scolds Pootis about how that was inappropriate to ask. But you told him it was fine and that Pootis was simply confused. Pootis imprinted on you, but you weren’t together like normal parents. But, really, Scout wants that. Not for himself, but for Pootis as well.

-The denial in the air that was between you both could be cut with a knife. 

-Feverish skin was hit by sun rays from where you were under the tree. Little shade reached you from the angle of the setting sun in front of you. Little Pootis fell asleep next to Scout with his cap on his head. You could actually see his light-colored hair better. He smelled like a teenage boy, but it was scent that you have grown to associate with him rather than your traumatizing middle school years. You looked over at him, he had his eyes on the water filter, which was currently incapacitated and the yellow and black indicator was set to red. His eyes met yours and he gave a gap toothed smile. You leaned up and scooted closer to him, you could see his dimples. Your hand moved up to his face, slowly, waiting to see if he was ok with you touching him. His light brows furrowed, confused. You had to go for it, even if you regretted it and ruined this friendship. You kissed him. And thank the Lord, he kissed you back. 

[bloodbatty]

Hello I've never watched ofmd and I only follow one ofmd blog (and don't remember why I did that) here's what I've gathered:

These are the least intimidating pirates ever.

Jim's friend(?) is a cinnamon roll who's never done anything wrong.

This dude's last name is Hands for some reason.

My Noses Monday™

There's marriage trauma or something.

Stede and Ed switch clothes at one point (I guess one of them must've been like "hey let's do something funny, first take off your clothes" and the other was like "yeah that sounds like a reasonable request")

Blackbeard the living legend is just a goth dork.

There's a love triangle and Hands lost. (but might have a second chance apparently) (also a goth dork).

Divorce™

THERE ARE SO MANY AUS OF THESE GUYS MY GOD (obviously this is relating to the fandom and not the actual show)

Apparently it ended like Good Omens 2-

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

⚔️⚔️ Sword gays showdown, grand finale ⚔️

*Camilla fanart by @friendamedes, used with permission

Propaganda:

For Camilla:

she prefers dual-wielding two short blades but can fight with pretty much anything. she's ambidextrous she's autistic she's even sex-repulsed ace. she sighs longingly when reunited with her weapons. she's from planet academia and dresses like an off-duty librarian. literally one of the most iconic moments of the entire series is when she gets challenged to a duel and absolutely wipes the floor with her opponent even though she doesn't even like rapiers that much. 'swords don't lie.' 

OK I’m sure you’re getting just about every character from The Locked Tomb but Cam is my favorite. She's a nerd AND a jock. She is in this deeply intense and loving and unhealthily codependent soulbond partnership with her best friend second cousin and prince. She is smart and deadpan snarky and fights like a grease fire and I have never been able to get that line out of my head.

For Gideon:

she's incredibly good w/ her two hander and less good with her rapier but she's still pretty good!! she is a horny lesbian who's taste in women seems to exclusively be "girls who have tried or are going to try to kill her". she's a redhead. i love her

Gideon’s a HUGE Butch lesbian and literally always wanted to use a broad sword. Specifically a broad sword. She said fuck rapiers. Uhhh literally dies to save the girl she cares for and the sword she uses then becomes like an altar for said girl. Gideon Nav Supremacy <3

oh she is the most badass swordswoman lesbian in media. she’s her gf’s cavalier, defends her in battle, she’s incredibly butch and buff

C'mon shes THE sword lesbian like... canonically 

Loves her broadsword more than anything on her home planet and practices whenever she can. Spoiler it’s possessed by her mom. Gave everything so her best enemy could eat her soul and become the new saint. The character of all time child of two separate threesomes, child of the god emperor, she’s dead, she’s butch, she’s a dork, she’s doomed by the narrative. She’s my favorite.

girlie is literally the swordswoman supreme. she’s the cavalier primary to her necromancer. she has a fuckoff huge longsword. she gets absorbed into another person SPECIFICALLY to swordfight for them. in a gay way too.

While everyone else was developing common sense, she studied the blade. This dyke's main weapon and true love is the long sword, but she's also passable with a rapier. The sword is, in her own estimation, pretty much all she's good for. That and her smoking hot bod and terribly charming sense of humor. 

"While we were developing common sense, she studied the blade." (Direct quote from the book). She's the most useless lesbian to ever exist, and she's obsessed with an absolute wet cat of a woman. Learned longsword mostly on her own and is such a genius with the sword she learned rapier in a few months (by personal experience, it's really really hard)

Most badass broadsword wielding lesbian easily slaying bone monsters and evil space wasps

The cavalier to her necromancer. very gay. in a complicated codependant lovehate relationship with the only other person her age she knew growing up.

For Xena:

It is HER! The OG woman with a blade! 

Her show was so iconic that any lesbian over the age of 30 knows her IMMEDIATELY because this show probably helped her have her awakening. Fandom foremothers and fathers rise up and get your gal a title.

An all around badass, bisexual woman, comfortable with many different bladed weapons. Her show was so much better than Hercules people forget his exists.

Xena is one of the OGs: once a baddie who turned good, she's a warrior who uses swords, daggers, and her trusty chakram to defeat evil and defend the innocent, while traveling with her kickass girlfriend Gabrielle. 

She has many skills

[lightmothx]

TOTK/BOTW RANT

Hot take that's not that much of a hot take - but, Zelda should've honestly been the Protagonist of TOTK. That's what makes the Role Swap aus so good. Tears gave us a world we're already familiar with, flops it on its side with the Upheaval plotline. I think we should've let the Sheikah technology stay Link's thing for the sake of BOTW, and then have TOTK's Zonai stuff be Zelda's thing. Zelda was a huge history buff in BOTW, so having her figure out all the Zonai lore and whatnot would've been perfect.

Not only that, but her exploring Hyrule and seeing the good Link has done for the people would've been awesome. I would've settled for a DLC even where we get to play as Zelda during her plot in Old Hyrule with Rauru and Sonia, but we got nothing. That's not fair at all. Wild Era Zelda had more character than ANY previous Zelda we've ever seen and they sideline her at every turn, reducing her once more to a damsel that needs saving, when we've seen she's more than capable of holding her own (in Age of Calamity).

I liked the whole Light Dragon plot, but they made it a point over and over again that "becoming an immortal dragon is irreversible" only for us to magically turn her back with The Power of Friendship™. It would've been more interesting to get that ending as a 100% competition benefit, but even then, Zelda shouldn't have been completely fine if you know what I'm saying. Like you're telling me Link slept for 100yrs and forgot nearly everything about his life, but Zelda slept as a Dragon for Hylia knows how long, and she's just okay?!

This is why a lot of people complained that TOTK felt a little lackluster compared to Breath of the Wild, and I completely agree. What was the point of having the Champions and their descendants be such a huge thing in BOTW, just to create an entirely new plot with The Sages in TOTK? What was the point of introducing the Light Dragon, Demon Dragon and Sacred Stones if we got NO information about the Dragons that were already in BOTW? (Dinraal, Naydra, Farosh). People can ramble on and on about theories and whatnot but I would've loved CONFIRMATION or even a SIDE QUEST. We got a lotta useless new lore to try and erase perfectly good lore bits we had.

And I hate to be the dork wearing rose colored glasses or whatever the saying is, but this is why I prefer older Zelda games, because sure -- Nintendo didn't confirm everything, but they confirmed enough for people to properly string lore themselves. Nowadays I feel like Zelda content creators are just grasping at straws to try and patch plotholes that Nintendo just shrugged off. And then for them to be like "We came up with TOTK because we had SO many DLC ideas for BOTW", just to release a half-ass game and be like "We did everything we wanted to do with this era ☺️" WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OF THOSE IDEAS?! I really hope this isnt a continuous thing because I'm getting too old to wait YEARS for a new game to confirm absolutely nothing about the previous one.

[kunaigirl]

I'll get back to drawing my OCs soon enough, I just gotta' get this green goober out of my head first! These three imps (from the 2001 IMP INC pilot) are currently living in my head rent free, and I've made peace the fact that I have The Brainrot™ for something that never even got the chance to exist...AND TBH I DON'T CARE BECAUSE THEY ARE THE GOOBERS EVER™ (Especially Net'l! I LOVE that green dork so much lol) Speed-draw/Process video HERE! :]

[actualbird]

Reading your analysis for the nxx bois earnings is so funny like Marius? Yeah ok no suprise here. Vyn? Ok your line of thoughts is understandable, I mean his hustle being a psychiatrist def gonna earn toms of money. Then zayne .. not that surprised too since well, lawyer is like second fav job esp in asian household for the kiddos bc 'u gonna be rich if u have that job'

Then we have like that is the epitome of lawful good (if you ignore his job as the agent that is), OFC this guy who give charities in almost (if not all, idk I can't remember all of his events) his stories would be the lowest in terms of money AHAHHAAH.

But then again, I can't imagine Luke out of all people trying to spend that much money for his own comfort anyway. The ideas of Mariluke and it's just these two dorks giving each other gift following their lifestyle (Luke probs give some handmade antique artsy things while Marius buying that exclusive–only-one-in the world Holmes merchandise ™) and would be so touched with it since they're not that used with it (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

Rambles aside, have you ever thought of alignment chart for the nxx bois (and Rosa maybe, if your up to it) since I'm genuinely curious, like I mean all of them is sorta in a gray area, but which one is more willing to stain their hands and which would be less willing to achieve their goals?

Ignore this if you have made it already tho, pls just reply with a link thank u. Genuinely enjoyed reading ur ramblings bout the bois and this made me giggle today

- 🐰

irt me ranking how much money the boys make

hi again rabbit! first off, i just wanna say that....you definitely made a typo saying "zayne" instead of "artem" in that first paragraph, right? unless this suddenly became a crossover episode HAHA

im SOOOOOO ENAMORED by your mariluke headcanon and i totally agree. marius definitely splurges on luke and luke gets so overwhelmed and he responds by making things of his own to gift to marius. both of them regard these gifts with so much appreciation <3

as for an alignment chart......i havent done this before yet!!! but tbh i dont think i'll actually plot them on a chart because i see all of the nxx boys in the same cell, one thats labelled "Has Their Own Personal View of Good and Bad But Are Willing To Cross Lines Depending On What It Is They Need To Achieve"

im not as well versed in All the nxx boys though so the only one i can really share my thoughts about is luke and god......he is so fascinating, under this lens

luke has a VERY strict sense of morality. sometimes his sense of morality is even cruel.

in one of the NXX files, the one talking about that guy who was manipulated (? i kinda forgot the story) killed himself, luke was very cold in his comments, saying that this kind of man was not a good example, was not a hero. this is indicative of his very black and white view of morality. there are the Good Ones, and there are the Bad Ones. no inbetweens. no gray areas.

and yet luke, in his desperation for treatment for his condition, allies with the enemy to receive illegal experimental NXX substance. suddenly, the man who doesnt believe in gray areas willingly wades into that territory

is luke a hypocrite? absolutely!! but i think this is less of a question of "is what luke is doing wrong?" and more of a question of "what has to happen for a character like this to go against beliefs and views?"

it's very fascinating!! i love luke in main story for this, the story really does exactly what needs to happen to push luke further as a character and break him open to see further possibilities

[bunnysnuff]

Dating Ted Mosby Headcannon.

Pairing: Ted Mosby x Reader.

Trigger warnings: nothing really.

“I’m not looking for something casual. I’m looking for something real. Epic. Forever.”

— Ted, probably two dates in

⸻

How It Starts:

• Ted 1000% tells your mutual friends that he might’ve met “The One” after 15 minutes of conversation.

• On the second date, he shows up with a copy of The Great Gatsby with a note inside that says:

“Hope this isn’t too much. But you remind me of the green light.”

• He genuinely thinks he’s being chill. He’s not. You are both charmed and deeply concerned.

• Your first kiss happens under fairy lights outside a random coffee shop. Ted immediately says:

“I’m going to remember this moment for the rest of my life.”

And he means it.

⸻

The Ted Experience™:

• He overanalyzes everything you say.

“She said ‘goodnight’ and not ‘sweet dreams’… are we okay???”

• He owns a collection of love poems “in case of romantic emergencies.” He uses it.

• He once planned a date night itinerary that included a museum, a rooftop dinner, and a “pop-up violinist.” You ended up getting street tacos and watching Die Hard. He still called it the best night of his life.

• Ted talks about the future. A lot.

“I was thinking… if we ever moved in together, we could install vintage doorknobs. For character.”

Bro, we just shared fries for the first time.

⸻

The Soft, Perfect Stuff:

• He notices everything: your favorite mug, how you hum when you’re stressed, your go-to sad movie.

• When you’re sick, he makes a DIY “get well soon” basket with themed snacks, a handwritten letter, and a hot water bottle that says “Team You.”

• On your bad days, he doesn’t push — just holds your hand and says, “I’m not going anywhere.”

• He sometimes stares at you like you’re the plot twist he never saw coming.

“You make me believe in fate again.”

You roll your eyes. You smile anyway.

⸻

The Rough Bits:

• Ted feels big. He romanticizes the ordinary — which is sweet, but sometimes… unrealistic.

• He wants fairytale endings so badly, he occasionally forgets that real love takes work and patience.

• There’s tension when he gets in his head too much. Sometimes you have to say:

“Ted, I don’t need fireworks. I just need you to meet me where I am.”

• He listens. He really does. He messes up sometimes, but he never stops trying.

⸻

The Gang’s Take:

• Marshall & Lily: You’re invited to game night before you’re even official. Lily hugs you like a sister. Marshall calls you “The Chosen One.”

• Barney: He tests you at first — throwing in weird flirting and chaos to scare you off. But you hit him with witty comebacks and call out his nonsense. He respects you immediately.

“Okay fine. She’s awesome. You’re still a dork, Ted.”

• Robin: She keeps a healthy distance at first — not because of you, but because of Ted. But slowly, she starts calling you just to hang out. She trusts you. Maybe more than she ever trusted Ted when they were together.

[charmixpower]

Valentines for everyone else!! LMAO chdndjd

Bloom/Sky

Okay but really funnily with these two would be the extreme differences in expectations. Sky is royalty so he's expecting to take Bloom to a extremely fancy restaurant and buy her a necklace or something and Bloom is expecting like some flowers

Bloom is getting overwhelmed and Sky is trying to reroute and their first Valentine's is a mess. They usually just hang out for dates so she has no idea where Sky got this idea vs Sky being autistic and being like "ah yes this is where I do the Grand Gesture™ perfect"

After the first one they know what they're doing and just hang out mostly, neither of them like grand gestures all that much

Bloom/Diaspro

These two would start dating in like like s3~s4 so their first Valentine's would be when the Winx are famous and have probably won the peace prize, so like they usually do nice™ dates and shit because Dia wants to and Bloom is just accepting this is her life

Bloom is trying to hard to get thoughtful and meaningful gifts and Diaspro usually gets Bloom jewelry with stone meanings and magic properties that she thinks Bloom will like

Stella/Brandon

Do I even have to say anything, every year it's a bombastic production of declarations of love. They're off being the absolute most ever and I love them for it

Flora/Helia

They probably just exchange flowers and hang out outside and relax in each other's company and that's super cute

Flora/Mirta

Mirta is such a baby girl and always tries her hardest to take Flora out on a good date™ for Valentines even though Flora said it's fine. She's so nervous and awkward but so lovingly earnest and it makes Flora melt

Tecna/Timmy

Listen they both try SO HARD for Valentines day. They try to get the perfect outfit, go on the perfect date, get the perfect gifts. They're dorks. They're trying so hard and are so earnest and excited it's so cute. They're in their own fucking world even worse than Brella tbh. Tecna has made the perfect itinerary for their date!!! Their plans usually fall though but they're still having fun and love it anyways

Aisha/Nabu

Nabu is a classical romantic, and by that I mean he's sheltered and got all his romance advice from books, so he gets Aisha flowers and they go to a lovely dinner and Aisha really appreciates the effort Nabu is putting in. She also grabs him to do a destination hike to some of the magical wonders of the world which Nabu is always fucking STOKED for. Like seeing the planetary core everywhere, it's literally the best thing to him and he always half forgets about his own plans because of how much fun he's having

Aisha/Anne

Anne always drags Aisha out to do something weird for their Valentines dates. The range is wide from stuff like a pottery class to taking a hike next to an active volcano. Anne loves trying everything and Aisha absolutely loves an adventure so they're just trying to find something they haven't done for every year

[cinamun]

cin....cin...CIn!! *paces back and forth muttering something 'bout "he's back..?" then flashes a nervous look at Charlie" * And you have nerve to give him a niiice little glow up? I know the good doctor (trademark.) has always been instrumental in helping people pivot from old/bad behaviors so we'll see. *grabs my pineapple-lemonade and popcorn and sits down in the RRR lounge to watch you cook.*

*stirs pot of gumbo, stirs 2nd pot without shrimp because ya girl don't wanna get hives n shit*

Looks like he got a little work badge around his neck, too... headed to the train. Hmmm. Where did he go in life? Does he live in Tomarang is it a connecting train and he spent too long at the night market? Is he still seeing the Good Doc™? Did the relationship with his mother the Mayor ever improve? Is he still a dork about vintage A/V equipment?

Time will tell friend. Dira's got enough on her plate, I hope things don't... fall apart.

[chthonicgodling]

mystery OC meme round five continues! [yknow— big long list of Elysium ensemble cast numbered randomly 1-75, picked anonymously by number!]

todayyy we have another case of repeats that worked SUPER well in my favor fgfkgkg - Alena, #69 requested by @/gladiwhoa on Instagram and @drfaustusmd; Meno for #44 requested by ← anna again & also @/louvremusee on Insta; AND Hess for #42 requested by @angrychickenman !

ONCE AGAIN.,,, a blind shuffle of 75 randomly selected and we have assembled together one of Elysium’s canon throuples?! Lmao????? Okay yay! round of applause tho for Elysium’s first and, ahem, CLEARLY DEFINED AND ESTABLISHED throuple, unlike a certain other three who shall not be named..

Tragic: character randomly assigned as number 69 is the only character who CAN’T 😔🎻 fgfkgkgk ok really though Poor Alena I love her design so much and love HER so much but she is so complicated to draw that I hardly ever draw her ghkkggkg. what’s even worse is that I’ve never effectively drawn her personality in any art I’ve ever done for her— SURE she, a Lamia™, makes a living seducing and eating mortal men, but she’d really prefer to be holed up at home in the Underworld playing on the computer 💔 same girlie. And Meno too I don’t draw enough, shout out to these absolutely lazy steampunky gear tattoos that I refuse to ever learn to draw (sorry Fenixe) teehee Meno, also a dork, is of course the guy down here who’s been sticking piercings in everyone upon request so he’s very important to me lmao.

He and Alena and Hess have been together as a REAL, CLEARLY COMMUNICATED throuple since like (OoC)2011, they’ve got a kid together (Leo, not shown,) they’re hanging around the palace allll the time but really live on the farm in the Underworld that Meno runs filled with spooky goth animals and creatures….they’re very cool! yay

Meno & Alena belong to the hiatus’d @fenixethekid and Hess is mine! Tag for this batch of mystery OC meme posts is here AND stay tuned I still have a few more!!

[otmcbam]

OTMCBAM #1: Dork Diaries

Hello! Welcome to Overworked Teenager Mocking Children’s Books And Movies! (OTMCBAM for short). On this blog, for privacy reasons, I go by Dusty. Yes, I know it makes me sound like I haven’t showered in 6 days, (And maybe I haven’t. Shut up.) And no, if you ask me my real name or any personal info that could be used against me, I won’t respond. I do this blog mainly for fun, so don’t take anything I say seriously. (Please. If I get murdered tonight because a rabid fan of fucking Babysitter’s Club or something didn’t like something I wrote, I’ll come back and haunt you.)

Today, we’re doing the popular series, Dork Diaries. If you’re anything like me you probably grew up on these books. I’m gonna use basic stuff like characters, the plot, shit like that. Let’s start.

BOOK: Dork Diaries

AUTHOR: Rachel Renee Russell

PLOT SUMMARY: Some bitch named Nikki Maxwell. Most of the books happen like this. She writes about something that happened recently, and then about some drama that her certified OPP McKenzie Hollister started cause McKenzie is a jealous conniving bitch. (But I also audibly laugh when she does something terrible. Or when something terrible happens to her. I dunno, maybe I’m just a bad person or something.) Nikki, and apparently Mckenzie’s crush, Brandon somehow finds a way to either be in the drama or find a way to judge everyone else for being in drama. Then we have Nikki’s generic best friends, Chloe and Zoey, who literally are always grouped together that sometimes I think they’re conjoined at the hip and forget they have separate personalities. They support Nikki whenever she has drama and stuff. Anyways, Nikki suffers through the drama (for the rest of this blog I’m just gonna say the word drama like it’s a Venom Symbiote or something.), before finding some random ass Deus Ex Machina that inevitably fixes all her problems. (Until the next book, anyways, because i mean, how are they gonna make more money if she isn’t constantly overtaken by the drama™?) These solutions get a whole lot LESS believable around the 4th book, which is conveniently where most of the books fell off. I wonder how the rest of these books would have gone if Famous Guy wasn’t interested in the slightest about her band. Or if she never got locked in a closet full of clown outfits. (It made sense in context.) The books go from relatable to OH EM GAWRSH I AM A FAMOUS POPSTAR BUT I’M JUST LIKE SO DORKY GUYSSS! Shut the fuck up Nikki. Some of us wish we could do that instead of rotting in bed reading obnoxious tumblr posts. (Haha, breaking the 4th wall.)

CHARACTERS:

Nikki Maxwell: Our main character. Who ALSO has a case of Main Character SYNDROME. Every time a minor inconvenience happens, she gets all cry-babyish about it. I kid you not, she says her favorite pastime is moping in her room on Saturday. And like, don’t get me wrong, that’s relatable, but when I’m going through some shit, I pack that shit up on the weekend and get back to it on weekdays. Whenever she said ‘But I just said it in my head, so nobody heard it but me’, I got pissed off. If I was Nikki, and my life was going to shit because of some hoe named Big Mac or whatever, I would talk shit every chance I got. I’d be like the adolescent version of Kendrick. She said the R-word at some point, but we don’t talk about that.

Brandon Roberts: Nikki’s generic love interest. Now, disclaimer, I am a lesbian, but even when I was a kid and didn’t know that, I never got the appeal of Brandon. He has the looks of a Lego, personality of air, and talents of….what does he do again? All i remember was something dog-related.

Zoey Franklin: Nikki’s generic friend number #1. She sometimes talks about psychology or something. And her dad has a record label or whatever they said. Everytime we hear about her, she seems to revolve around Nikki’s issues. It’s always “Chloe and Zoey said this” “Zoey and Chloe said that”. It’s hardly ever individual. STAND UP! #ZoeyandChloelivesmatter.

Chloe Garcia: Nikki’s generic friend #2. She knows about magazines and boys n stuff. Just copy and paste what I said for Zoey but with a “lol so random” personality. (I know someone like that. I hate her SO SO MUCH. If you genuinely say ‘lol I’m so random and quirky’ unironically, consider yourself an opp. Like seriously, come fight me.)

McKenzie Hollister: Nikki’s biggest opp. I’m not even really sure why, because she started in book one, and then Nikki didn’t have much to be jealous of, so I guess she’s just a bitch. In my opinion, throwing Nikki off a ski slope should be counted as attempted murder, but whatever. Don’t let some of Dork Diaries fandom see this. They already find a way to justify most things McKenzie does. It could be off with my head if they see someone trashing their “iconic queen”.

Nikki’s mom who I can’t for the life of me remember the name of: Generic mom. Makes WaCkY cupcakes. D1 Brianna glazer.

Nikki’s dad who I can’t for the life of me remember the name of: Generic dad. Has a WaCkY personality. Has an exterminator business. Or does he? (Please sponsor me Film Theory.)

Max The Roach: My favorite character. A big plastic roach on the top a van. I don’t know about Nikki, but if that was my dad’s van, I would show it off any chance I got! (Maybe that’s why I don’t have friends).

Brianna Maxwell: Nikki’s fucking annoying little sister. I hate her but love her at the same time. Miss Penelope can go die in a fire though. (Did I just wish for a fictional six year old to get her hand burnt off? I might be cancelled by Twitter tomorrow.)

Trevor Chase: Famous Guy. Took an interest in Nikki’s band. He never seems to be around to actually help them solve problems, but just ALWAYS happens to have some tours or trips for them to go on. #DouchebagMcgee

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

It’s a pretty stereotypical middle school book series. Like Wimpy Kid ‘for girls’. But I dunno about the ‘for girls’ part because my little brother unironically reads these, and you know what? I sit and read with him. OUTRO:

So, that was my attempt at writing a blog. If you like my content, then feel free to follow! Let me know what you think in the comments! Go follow my best friend from real life, Serotoninsillythings! (Go tell them they better be ready tomorrow.)

Anyways, that’s all for today. I hope you enjoyed reading, and if you didn’t, just scroll.

Signing off,

Dusty!

[mcbeetlebeeb]

OOOOkaay time to dump homestuck garbage on here cause although only my friends look at my barely active page, I can't ever garble my stupid gobbles out to my friends in actual person so here I am

anyways have some? domestic?? relationship? crap? headcannons 🤷

🫐John Eg fart bert☁️

typw of mfker to be out in public and just rest his head on your shoulder, causally getting groceries? in supermarket? head on shoulder. making fuckin pancake? head on shoulder. literally standing doing nothing? head on shoulder

even if he's shorter, he will do it,

don't doubt him

I think he'd have god awful pick up lines but not, like, offensive or crude, just plain stupif bad- some garbage like

"I'd bring you too the movies but they don't let you bring your own snacks :("

like sneaky almost, some would genuinely be so thought out it'd just smear right over your smooth brain

fuckin- breath pick up lines, always-

"I hope you know CPR! you just took my breath away!"

whata fuckin dork

but he takes pride in that and if your interested in him you automatically become a dork yourself

you can't not get looped in with his garbage movie taste and stupid shenanigans

silly pranks with him

he'd pull pranks on you, matter fact if your his partner he'd probably pull pranks on you the most

genuinely sucha simp-

not clingy simp or overbearing simp just, yknow, can't help but go on and on about his significant other if ever brought up in a situation, probably brings them up just to do that

I think hed show physical affection in soft, gentle ways? nervous.™

like im talking hesitantly moving to hold your hand, or doing that stupid move of yawning and placing your arm around the other person and bringing then closer

holding you by the sides of your arms, gently trailing down to hold your hands

so soft for you, an even bigger dork when its just yall, absolute bafoon, a fool for you I'd even say

he 100000% babbles about you to his friends, and your friends, and you- lmao, his whole friend group will and can not escape his wrath of adoring you

absolutely talking Jade and Rose's ear off about you cause Dave can't take another moment of it-

will tell you how amazing and cute and this and that you are

no hesitation

I think hed be more than comfortable with pda, holding hands?

yes.

face smooches?

absolutely.

picking you up like a damn bag of flour over his shoulder?

indeed.

🪅Gamzee Makara🧫 (gamgee maraca)

gonna be honest with you? probably a bit stinky

and not in like a swamp ass way like, he just distinctly smells like face paint and whatever who's guess at sopor slime smells like if it even has a smell-

mfker looms over you

he doesn't get like half of the words you say into his brain a lot of the time unless you specify its importance

he's trying his best

but regardless of not actually listening to your words, he loves listening to you talk, just speaking, he could stare at your face all day

like- in an unblinking manner but still lovingly

speaking of your face, that's what he'd mostly end up hugging, he's already hunched over a shit load so when he hugs you he just hugs your whole dome to his chest

probably garbles some silliness to you in a drunk/high like state, just holding you impossibly close to him and mumbling some junk like

"YoU..yOu GoT a NiCe..A nIcE fAcE..aNdD..sMeLl GoOd,,..WaRm"

I like to think the higher up on the hemospectrum(?) idk that trolls gradually get like more cold-blooded? if that makes sense?

okay like the higher it goes up the more the troll has a tough time gaining and keeping warm

he'd love warm stuff, like some big cat he'd just flop on it and purr away

you get clown makeup on your face each time he gives you a smooch, I don't make the rules

honestly would sniff you, and like, not subtly like straight "SNIIIFFFF"

can seamlessly re-create the actually honk squeek sound, but yknow, saying honk is much easier

and god forbid he finds you sitting or relaxing

all up in your biz, not like, verbally but he's already waddled over and rested his head on your lap or wrapping his arms around your waist and tugging you closer

I think hed be really mushy gushy over physical affection, not like embarrassed but he just enjoys it greatly and will do anything for you to play with his hair more

tbh a bit scary ngl, like, has that uh, union effect from Steven Universe, just sorta appears sometimes, there, observing,

he'd try and get you to eat sopor slime, he wouldnt force you but he'd definitely like, lean in with a tin of it and try and convince you, but he's not shoving it down ur gullet

probably great at taking snuggle naps, like he could most likely just drape all his limbs over you like some limp cat and just peacefully snooze away

also that whole shit of trolls having nightmares if not all snuggled up in sopor slime?

I love to believe it's canceled out by another person snuggling with them,

and that person is you of course,

you can't leave his presence without like a visable mark somewhere on you that you where around him

wether that be clown make up or sopor slime smeared somewhere on you

or you wearing his shirt, or his incredibly long pants

he's also a dork

I think hed enjoy how squishy humans are in general

he'd hold and love every part of you with a lopsided smile

hugging his arms around your hips as he leaves sloppy kisses against your tummy, smudging clown makeup on you

aahugh sleepiness is kicking in but I don't care I must persist because I'm. GAY.

Dave Strider (who names their child this)

breaking news! he's also a major dork

but in secret?

and an even bigger dork when its just yall

type of mfker to just pour his heart out to you in a way that makes you blank in the brain and then go "haha sorry that was weird" or "my bad that was probably cringe"

so unbelievably soft for you behind door, cannot do pda- for the life of him-

"hey, uh I made us a playli-" "YES."

listening to music with you at any given chance, likes sharing music genres and songs

if you dont make mention of him not smiling or laughing often around others he'll just let himself slip like that yknow?

like he'll giggle and laugh at more things, stupid, silly things,

comfortable with you to say the least

CAPE BLANKET, CAPE BLANKET, CAPE BLANKE-

like mentioned above- if you got the chance to snuggle up close to him he'd drape his silly cape over yall both,

mostly you but 🤷

probably had a god damn coronary trying to figure his feelings out

talking with Rose or John like

"I dunno the fucks wrong with me, my heart hurts and my gut feels likes its in knots like im gonna barf?- "

"you like them dave‐ you like _____."

"....i—.....whuh??-"

stammering and studdering round you like he has a speech impediment, has words in his head but just cannot execute them at all-

not with you around

it legit don't matter to him, he will call you bro, dawg, dude, homie, homeslice? home dawg?

probably would use these in an endearing way tho, just "dude?...bro?" in a loving way

"you have a smoochable face dude"

"...fruity.."

"fuck you-"

very hesitant on touching, not that he minds, he just will mentally perish if he ever made you feel weird

he'd definitely be the mfker to when cuddling with him to just to nestle and nuzzle the top of his head into the crook of your neck

mentioning cuddling- like whilst asleep, he'll still have a part of him touching you, wether it's his foot against your calf or his entire leg draped over you