#the full extent of it. of what it did to me. of how to cope and move on. bc there's little to do except try and forget

[loumauve]

as someone who's gone through some level of sexual assault (and stalking and just gross crossing of personal and physical boundaries) in the past, there's something particularly fucked up about a guy you're somewhat close with telling you about how their group of guys has a running joke about how someone needs to (kindly put bc translation for that fucking sentence.. fucking yikes. I'd rather not think about it) get it on with you to improve your mood. apparently they're now at 125,- as price money for the one who does it.. which jfc. (why did I ask what they were talking about, and for fucks sake why did he feel so comfortable telling me)

like.. for context: work/school has been hell since March bc there's so much hate speech and crossing of even just the most basic of boundaries and all manners of snide comments and loud screaming and yelling and hitting desks and slamming doors and just.. guys escalating any tiny situation into what would usually lead to someone being fucking fired from their job and maybe slapped with a lawsuit, but here there's zero consequence and now I'm being gaslit into believing that I am the problem for being offended. and I just.. I'm at if not way past my limit. so I've had a near constant migraine for the past months. which.. sure I'm a little grumpy but I've still been polite and respectful, so honestly there's nothing for any of them to get annoyed with other than how one of them told me, and yeah... I know, to smile more..

just.. I feel so grossed out and uncomfortable and there's nothing I can do except hope the internship stuff is sorted out next week so I can be away from that place and those people for the next few months at least.

fucking hell tho. I'm literally in hell. this is worse than the 2 years of group bullying and mistreatment at my old work place. talk about draining experiences. this is the last thing I needed on top of all the grieving and anxiety

[sxftkxssxs]

Hey, I am not sure whether it fits the dark themes, but can you please write about suicidal M/C with main 6? They're living for years with it, so it's not immediate, but they haven't stopped considering either. Any level of seriousness is fine, if you decide to take the promt. I just really like your writing and this prompt would've resonated deeply with me

I'm super glad you like my writing! I hope if any of you are having these thoughts you have someone to reach out to. I hope I did everyone justice, I feel a little out of practice!

Main 6 with a Suicidal MC

Asra

He's observant, and he's definitely not dim. They'll likely understand some of the behaviors you're showing. They went through it during the plague after all. He might not understand the extent that your thoughts go to, as he coped differently, but they’ll always listen.

If you explain how you're feeling to them, him and Faust have full attention on you. Faust will curl around you like she often does for Asra, curling her tail around your wrist. It’s subtle, but it’s her way of offering comfort as you talk. If you take a moment to breathe you’ll feel her tail squeeze a little, as well as small whispers of her voice.

If they find out through other means, they hesitate to bring it up. Especially if it was through something in your experiences before the plague. He’ll eventually ask, very gently and carefully.

He’s honestly devastated that you thought this way. He brought you back, but did you not want to be here? He knows his affection and care can’t fix everything, but he’s oddly compliant with more of your ideas than before and occasionally just takes in the sight of you longer than usual. It’s obvious he’s affected by the revelation.

He does insist on possibly seeing someone better equipped to handle mental health, for the both of you perhaps. If you agree to try, but want to go alone, he’ll come with you and wait outside. If you’d like to go together, they’ll readily accept.

Overall, Asra loves you and wants to see you enjoy life to its fullest, and hopefully these thoughts will continue being far away.

Julian

He’s familiar with the feeling. Though he wasn’t going to take his own, he was very willing to give his up when he believed he was guilty. He knows it can be different for each person, so he won’t ever try to compare your experience to anyone else’s.

He does panic, no matter how he finds out. He’s pacing and muttering to himself, Mazelinka and Malak have to get him to calm down when they find him. He tries to keep it to himself, but they can see right through him. She doesn’t try to pry, and only offers broad advice that somehow meets his situation to a T.

He’ll come to you, asking very seriously about it. Julian will listen to you in full. Only when you’ve finished telling him what you’ve needed to say will he actually act. If you thought he was a tier 1 clinger before, get ready. He holds you so tight that night you would think you’re with a bear.

Malak perches on your shoulder, making tiny sounds and puffing out his feathers. If you have hair, you’ll feel him pick at stray strands with his beak. He’s confidently expressing that you should turn to him for help if you need it!

Julian will not try to cover up his worry for you, he loves you and after so long he’s finally not afraid to show that. He’ll drill that into your head in so many ways going forward.

Mazelinka, Portia, and the rest of their family back home are always open to you. They all greatly encourage you to come to each of them if you need someone besides their chaotic little Ilya!

Nadia

Nadia is overcome with worry. She’s very caught off guard in this situation.

If she found something that brought this to her attention, she’ll take some time to contemplate in her tower, wondering how she should approach you about the subject. She’ll come back rather quickly for the situation, with a certain type of confidence in her step.

She’ll ask you to explain why it is you’re feeling this way, if there might be a way to make these thoughts leave you alone. If there is, she’ll pour all her effort into making it happen. If not, you at least know you have her in your corner.

If you bring it up to her first, then she’ll take a moment to think. The silence is very heavy, but she doesn’t mean any harm with it. She’s gently holding onto your hand and rubbing her thumb over your skin while she thinks.

When she comes to a conclusion, she’ll refocus on you. Nadia strives to be there for you. She expresses that you have the entire palace at your whim. Whatever you need, she will try and get it for you. She knows palace live can be stressful, and maybe make these feelings worse when you fail at something. If you need time away then she’ll be happy to arrange that for you.

Chandra perches on your shoulders, chirping at you with a glint in her eye. You have a feeling she’s expressing her own version of being there for you.

Muriel

Poor Muriel is shocked. You always seemed so put together, much happier than he was.

He’s felt similarly, back when he was forced to fight in the colosseum. He’d felt guilty, and he still struggled with depression up until you came bursting through his hut. You’d started a chain of events that helped him (begrudgingly) get better.

No matter if you tell him upfront or he finds something that reveals your feelings, Muriel stays pretty quiet about it. He’s just observing, looking for details he never saw before.

eventually he tells you that you aren’t alone. If there is anyone you want on your side it most definitely is the 6’10 giant of a teddy bear that is Muriel. (And Inanna, who is now pulling you into little cuddle piles by the fire at every opportunity) They both try to notice when days are a little tougher, and be there for you.

He’ll definitely seek out Asra, to get better help than he might be able to provide. It’s your choice on if you want him with you or not while you talk to someone better equipped.

Portia

Her reaction depends very heavily on if she finds out through something she finds or you tell her.

If she finds something that exposes her to how you feel, she does feel very very worried, and upset. She places a lot of weight on being honest with her when you’re struggling. She refuses to just turn a blind eye now, and brings it up to you. She’ll give you her full attention, and bring up suggestions on what she might be able to do to help!

if you tell her up front instead, she’ll be very proud of you for telling her. She’ll listen to what you have to say, and definitely suggests going to someone who knows how to handle this better than she does. She’d love to be there for you when you go to see them, but if you wanted her to wait outside or even at home she’d be more than willing to stay home. (She definitely prepares home to be super cozy when you get back though!)

She’ll always be supportive of you, and if you’re having a rough day she has no problem having you stay home (although she rarely can, being the countess’s personal servant, but the days that Nadia catches wind of the situation, Portia gets home suspiciously early..) or she’ll often check in to see how you’re doing!

Pepi is amazing on the days you stay home, often pawing at your arm to get you to keep petting her. You both often end up in a cuddle pile by the time Portia gets home.

Lucio

Lucio goes uncharacteristically silent. It takes him a few moments to really process what he’s learned.

Whether you’ve told him yourself or he found something that rang warning bells in his head, he takes time to think how he wants to respond. He knows he’s reckless, he’s been cruel, and although he’s grown considerably since then, he still feels he shouldn’t reply too hastily. Though even when he does, he’s rambling and talking about how he’s not sure he’s doing this right.

While he’s considering what he should say, both Mercedes and Melchior sit with you. They’re looking up at you with their beady little eyes, giving you little kisses. Mercedes watches Lucio with a very strong glare, almost intimidating him into thinking through his words.

Lucio tries to convey that he’s there for you. You two are partners! He’s not good at noticing small details, especially with behavior, since he focuses more on other things. If you’re having a rough day, tell him! He’ll plan something or you can stay home with your little dog family for the night.

Mercedes and Melchior voice their approval, alerting anything within the area of your presence. (Whoops, but at least you know your dogs would never leave you behind!)

[quibbs126]

Okay, I have…a design for Lux here

Honestly, it still isn’t the best. Probably on me for spending all of today trying to make a design that worked and not taking more time

Probably should have also colored those practice sketches of Megatron and Optimus, and maybe drawn more of them too, probably would have helped in the long run, as well as let me figure out their colors again since it has apparently been a long time since I drew them

But oh well, I have something, so at least now I can tell you about Lux herself

These are the other previous sketches relating to her by the way, just for posterity’s sake

I thought giving her this younger design based on the cogless bots would have been easier than working out her adult, alt mode based design, since the cogless bots don’t have alt modes. But the problem is, their frames are still based on parts of their alt mode, just not to any extent that it’s actual kibble, just alluding to it, if that makes sense. So you know, I had to have an idea of how her normal frame looks. Which I didn’t. So it was harder than I wanted it to be, and this is what I got in the end

I need to figure out a proper full design for her I think. I still have TFA and TFE Megatron for my inspirations, along with some copters, I just need to figure out how to put them all together

She very much looks like a D-16 painted blue like this, but whatevs

Her trapezoid and arm circles are supposed to be the few references to her alt mode I have, that being her front with the trapezoid, and potentially where her propellers go on her body. I don’t actually know where to put them realistically, but I think it’d be cool if she could use them like blades in combat

For now, I think I’m sticking with that blue, grey and black color scheme for her, and the yellow eyes work fine

Design’s serviceable enough for now, but needs work I think

But anyways, on to the real thing I wanted to discuss here, her lore. Or I suppose more accurately, her relationship with Megatron, since that’s most of what I have on her honestly

Okay, so first off, Megatron was the one to carry her, which I’m noticing is a running theme of mine. Now I’m not sure when exactly he would have been sparked, but let’s say for the sake of things, between getting their T-cogs and meeting the High Guard. The main thing is that this would have been just before Orion and D-16 fell out and Megatron was banished

Some weeks or so after, particularly during moments where he’s feeling incredibly distraught over everything that happened and feels incredibly isolated, Megatron started to feel something else around his spark. He couldn’t quite place what it was, it was too vague and small to be able to tell, like a very faint pulse on his spark, but something about it gave him comfort, while giving it back to the strange feeling. He wasn’t sure what this thing was, but he figured he either made it up as a coping mechanism, or it might be because the cog he had used to belong to someone else, and it was affecting him weirdly. But he didn’t really tell anyone, since he didn’t want to admit it made him feel better like some immature child, and again, he didn’t think it was anything important. He just considered it the “little light” on his spark

Only to find out much later, on complete accident, that that “light” he was feeling was in fact, a sparkling. His and Orion’s at that. No one knew he was carrying, pretty much because he had grown too big for it to make a noticeable impact on his body (and anything that did was assumed because of his enormous rapid growth spurt), and because also no one was looking for it. But one accident a bit too damaging led to him needing a full body scan for all his injuries, and a close to fully formed sparklet was revealed to be in his forge

And unfortunately because of how late anyone found it, as well as the fact that the Decepticons are very lacking in proper medical equipment, Megatron pretty much has to carry the thing to term now, much to his frustration. I needed a reason for him to not deletus that fetus. He hates the idea of this at first, hating Orion/Optimus for putting him in this situation, hating the High Guard for being ignorant enough to have not found this sooner when he could have gotten rid of it (which they kind of have to concede the point there), and hating the universe for this fate

But he does eventually start to come around more to the idea, particularly when he realizes that this sparkling was the same thing that’s been giving him comfort in these turbulent times, and when it comes to mind that this is the last thing he has of Orion, not really choosing to see Optimus as Orion, just who came back after his death. The best idea the Decepticons had for what to do with the sparkling after it was born was to just send it to Iacon, making the Prime deal with his mistake, but Megatron grew more and more hesitant of the idea

And then when the day came that the sparkling was born, he was more conflicted than ever, now that he could actually hold it in his hands and see her for himself. While he didn’t give an answer at first as to whether he wanted to get rid of her, he eventually decided that he indeed wanted to keep her, naming her Lux

It wasn’t the ideal option for the Decepticons, sending her to Iacon would have been the best choice, but during the time before the sparkling was born, they figured that since they no longer had an Energon shortage and weren’t being hunted down, it wasn’t impossible for them to care for a sparkling should that be the decision, though the lack of medical supplies would be a worry

But basically after Lux was born, plenty of the Decepticons pitched in to try and help Megatron with her, since he’s their very young leader and now single parent, and again, kind of their fault for not noticing. Also they haven’t seen a sparkling in ages and she’s cute. Thundercracker happens to be her favorite babysitter. Soundwave is another top tier babysitter, but she just likes him more

This is also what gets Megatron to finally properly start opening up and trusting the High Guard, since he knows he can’t take care of Lux all by himself, especially since he knows very little about sparklings. And if they can be proven trusted with her, maybe he can trust them with other things as well

But one other thing, Megatron does not tell Optimus that Lux exists whatsoever, and he doesn’t want him to know. Part of it is to spite Optimus, excluding him from something he too would probably find so precious. But another part that progressively grows bigger is fear; the fear that if he knew, he would take Lux away from Megatron, never to see her again

While part of it is paranoia, it’s not entirely unreasonable either. Optimus lives in a giant city while Megatron lives out in the wild, Optimus has access to everything she might need or want, Megatron and the High Guard are essentially criminals and could be considered dangerous to a young sparkling, and Optimus is the Prime and ruler of Iacon. Even if he might have the decency to consider letting Megatron keep his sparkling, someone else in Iacon might try to fight for Lux to stay in Iacon instead, possibly even taking matters into their own hands. So he won’t tell Optimus, for as long as he possibly can

Megatron does genuinely care for and love Lux, but he’s also not the best parent either. He’s a bit emotionally dependent on her, with her being that last bit of Orion, and someone who unconditionally loves him, and it does feed a bit into his fear of her being taken from him; he also doesn’t really want her to leave. It may be something he eventually learns to grow out of, as it’s really not healthy for either of them, but it could also not. But at least for now, this dependency isn’t too egregious, nor is it something Lux takes notice of, or something the other Decepticons warn Megatron about

I suppose I should actually get into Lux herself. Though to be honest, I don’t have a lot on her anyways, outside of her backstory

I do have that she’s generally a cheery little bot, and she really likes the surface, particularly the animals up there. Thundercracker is her favorite guy, outside of her carrier, and them both being blue possibly has something to do with it. She’s also probably a little too okay with violence for someone her age, due to the company she finds herself in. They may be her responsible guardians, but they’re definitely teaching her ways to kill

She also has this thing of, if she does not understand why a rule exists, she does not listen to it. It made the first few cycles with her very difficult, and a testament to Megatron that she really was Orion’s sparkling. She has a habit of sneaking out a lot, though usually it’s just to watch animals or something harmless

Though this could extend to her being prohibited from ever going to or near Iacon. She may not go now, accepting the explanation that dangerous enemies live there, but that explanation may not hold up the longer she observes it, and she may one day decide the rule’s worth breaking. But will she go to Iacon and what chaos will ensue if she does? I don’t know

I mean I imagine at some point Optimus eventually learns of Lux’s existence, I just don’t know the specific circumstances as to how yet, or when. She could sneak into Iacon as a child, it could be a Quintesson attack mixed with a Decepticon encounter that weeds her out via Megatron trying to protect her, it could be Airachnid kidnapping her, or they don’t encounter until she’s properly grown. I’m not sure yet

But yeah, I think that’s all I have on her lore for now, and honestly it’s getting pretty late, so I should probably just end things here

She needs more working, but I have a lot about Lux, so I just needed to share

[gingersnapwolves]

so I had some thoughts on the burnout post but didn't want to hijack it so this is just my own rambling attempt to process the feelings I've been struggling with for two days which obviously not everyone wants to read, thus my putting a read more

I've been crying off and on for the past couple days which is really no surprise, and I've been trying to avoid political news and political posts. In fact, after this I plan to hide the political tags for a while, heavily curate my Reddit experience, and then do I don't even know what with all my new free time

because I don't talk about it a lot here, this is my fandom space, my casual space, and I'll sometimes post about personal stuff but almost never politics, but I am actually very political. 'member of multiple political mailing lists, have marched in many protests, write postcards to swing state voters' political. and I want to talk a little about why this defeat feels different. because this crushed me in a way that 2016 did not.

the thing is. over the past few days I've seen a lot of people talking about how if you didn't realize Trump was going to win, you live in a bubble. and I think to a certain extent that's true. we all have our little echo chambers. but for me, at least, and a lot of the people I know, it wasn't just that. it was this core certainty that Trump would not win, could not win, because surely our country wasn't like that. surely our fellow Americans were not like that. it wasn't about competency or about policy. it was about basic human decency. and that's what I feel like we lost. not an election. but any remaining belief we had that people are basically good.

because it seems they're not. at least not around here. the cold hard fact at the end of the day is that the majority of our country looked at a senile, racist, fascist criminal grifter [eta: how could I forget rapist in that description?] and either actively wanted him to hold the highest office in the land, or just didn't care whether or not he did. they know exactly what he's going to do, and they're fine with it. and that hurts so much that it is nearly unbearable.

how do you move on from that? how do you cope with the fact that there's something so deeply rotten at the core of your fellow man? how do you deal with that? how do you fight back?

I am full of so much grief that I literally don't know where to put it.

so I don't want to fight anymore. I'm tired. I'm nauseated. I'm angry. But most of all, I'm sad. I can't do it right now. and I think that's probably okay. I think in six weeks or six months I'll feel differently. but right now I just can't do it. and I think the most important thing really can be to take a step back and focus on something else. because I know these feelings are not productive. I know that there are still good people out there and there are still things worth fighting for. but right now, all I feel is this aching chasm where my faith in humanity used to be.

so I'm unplugging - not from fandom or tumblr, but from politics and news - for at least a little while. sometimes that's the most important thing to do if you want to still be able to get out of bed in the morning.

[isa-ghost]

I think my final stance on the cQuackity finale is:

Should it have been done? Eeh. But is it valid to want to revamp what was previously done because the time period the prev happened in kinda sucked? Absolutely. As an artist, writer, and veteran roleplayer with 13+ years experience, I 100% understand why Q redid it and I respect that. He also has every right to close off the chapter of his mcrp journey that involved those shit people, especially Mr. Racist Ringleader, the way he did.

And with that in mind, the finale we got was the best it could be given... *stares at how, again, half the ccs involved with cQ's story suck.* Quackity shouldn't have to sit unhappy with something he did just bc he can't conclude it to the full extent it could've/should've been. I would've loved for him to be able to unpack everything he should've been able to. It just isn't possible bc people suck. At least Q cares enough to want to redo it in the first place, even if the redo maybe isn't better or whatever. Caring enough to redo it at all is more than could be said for quite a few ex dsmp members. :/

It 100% fit the character and people are being way too pearl clutchy about how not every character gets a happy ending. Listen man, I'm sick of mcrp stories ending with "and then I killed myself" too (/gen), but in cQ's case at least it's fitting. I haven't seen a single person that's mad about the ending suggest a better "happy" alternative that fits cQ as a character or is a choice cQ would Actually make. I'm not gonna write another whole analysis about why the ending makes sense again, go find that post. I could say more over there if it matters that much to someone, but I'm not gonna argue about it.

Also this might shock some people: *gasp* Quackity can do what he fucking wants with his characters. That doesn't mean you have to like it. What the fuck ever happened to "don't like it? Don't interact"?? I'm so tired.

I liked the finale and I think it fit cQ. It's not perfect by any means, but of the finales we've gotten after the tension of dsmp's fallout died down, it's a decent one.

People need to chill the fucking hell out, they have been WAY too hostile about the finale. I've seen people call Q a garbage writer, wishing he'd go broke, that he doesn't care about any of this (despite the fact that he was NEARLY IN TEARS because of how much these stories mean to him, especially cQ), that it was a ruse to plug merch, etc. Absolutely ice cold heartless garbage takes about Quackity. And some of them are from blogs who are supposedly fans of his bc their entire BLOG is decorated with him!!! Those are fucking nuts things to say about a guy you supposedly like!!!! You don't know someone's OC better than they do. Period. Fuck you, cope. I can't fucking stand people who feel entitled like that.

Anyway if you start shit on this post or with me I'm just blocking you. I'm not here to argue about this shit man, I'm just sick of people being so black&white and overly critical of shit so I wanted to air out the thoughts buzzing around in my mind so they stop driving me crazy.

Shout out to everyone who's actually capable of being nuanced and fairly critical of things they like without being a total fucking asshole that blows shit out of proportion and takes every little thing in bad faith to the furthest extreme.

[swaqcenix]

hello?.. i'm so glad you're accepting requests! your fanfictions is something. so, can I get nsfw-fanfic with dark!(yandere)Peggy Carter? i mean, i just worship her physical strength, combined with her high level of intelligence and unconditional beauty.

i have no special requirements for the plot, it all depends on your idea, vision. i hope it won't bother you… I will wait patiently for your answer, work, don't worry about it, please.

anddd, I'm well aware that full working days can be very exhausting. so, please take care of your condition and try to be fine. thank you very much :)

also, I love the way you interact with all these people on your blog. you seem like a really comfortable and pleasant person. to be honest, that was almost the main reason I came to you with the request.

I'm just an anxious person and all that.

again, thanks! good luck <3

࿐ ྂTil' the end of Time | Peggy Carter ࿐ྂ

Peggy Carter x fem!reader

Summary: You had one assigned task, help Wanda Maximoff reclaim her boys. Yet entering the multiverse didn't allude you to the concept of falling for someone else entirely, especially when that said woman is on the opposite side and has her mind on other ways to make you her own, no matter the cost nor the price.

Warnings: 18+, dark!peggy carter, yandere!peggy carter x semi-innocent!reader, mentions of obsession and sexual desires, peggy is a whore for reader, slight masturbation (r), semi-public sex, thigh riding, fingering (r)

Pairings: dark yandere!peggy carter x semi-innocent!reader, implied obsessed dark!-ish wanda x naive!reader, kinda forbidden romance(?)

Word Count: 5.4k

DC: cafekitsune

AN: I do apologise this request took me so long to complete, therefore I hope this makes up for it & it's similar/what you wished for. Many thanks nonnie <3

You observed as Wanda found herself lost in her thoughts, within her mind-space and you dare not interrupt the incredible woman.

Her composure mixed with the way she completely handled herself with others allowed you to be enticed into her games, only seeing apart of her she wished for you see.

That being entirely how you found yourself stood along side her as she argued with a man who called himself DR. Strange. Forbidden to ask questions, you only observed- watching from the sidelines.

The older woman forbid you to ask, claiming your brain was too innocent to putty in one's hands to be meddling with things you shouldn't risk falling into. You of course complied, why wouldn't you? If she ordered it you must follow it was the laws of the game.

"Wanda, it's for the better cause enough of this foolishness," Strange tried his best to reason with her.

Her response in retaliation was simply a scoff as Wanda shook her head, almost as if her mind couldn't comprehend the seriousness of his statement. She glanced towards you and you knew that meant don't react, not unless it was of dire need, if the tip of the axis couldn't cope with the situation anymore.

"Don't speak to me of foolishness Stephen Strange," the poisonous venom slipped from her lips.

Had you not known the woman, you'd dared to have run. Sprinting for your life as though the beast of the night, the slender man himself had dared cross through the worlds of the unknown. While you knew she wouldn't hurt you right now, Wanda would within reason. Use you as an outlet and your innocence, your mindset and soul would allow her. Perhaps to a certain extent it would stop, but for now she'd be allowed.

The tension of the room changed and you tilted your head in a way of lost morality. You didn't quite understand the extent of the situations around you, only simply observing as you were commanded to. Your parents needed it, she would protect them if you followed so you did. Your mindset drifted away, lost in the multiverse until the redheads voice brought you back to reality.

"Foolishness is thinking you can cross me, thinking you can even remotely challenge me," she stated and you saw from the corner of your eye the eye-roll of the older man.

A feeling of relief succumb over you when you realised Wanda hadn't inspected nor noticed herself. You weren't actually sure why the relief was settling into your stomach though. Maybe it was due to the oncoming storm you could only cease to imagine she would cause perhaps because you wouldn't be punished, but the feeling was there.

The redhead often liked to punish you for things that tended to not be your fault in any cause of their own. Sometimes it was due to people getting too close for her liking other times it was 'simply because she could,' in her words. Despite your mindset, your very essence knowing it was wrong morally in every way anticipated you allowed her to, you allowed yourself to indulge with the hopes one day you'd escape.

"Your children are not real, it's a fantasy. It's an illusion that you're so far down you've managed to convince yourself that Wanda," the man spoke with a desperation but his voice clung to the side of assertiveness.

The witch simply scoffed before turning her back to him and the child. America as she was called was analysing you trying to work you out in ways nobody could. You couldn't help the sense of guilt you had towards her, your mind dancing away with thoughts of anger and wishing of betrayal.

Wanda simply began casting her magic around the room, not in the deadly sense but in an act of dominance trying to prove her mindset and reasonings. A gasp almost slipped past your lips of as memories of what you presumed to be her children danced and shone through the room illuminating it with a light now lost.

Stephen then turned to you in a way to control the situation, even now he was trying to turn and bend reality into his own, you must admire him for that.

"And her?" His voice was assertive, looking at you in a way of confusion laced with sympathy.

Wanda sneered, her voice laced with such venom at the small concept of him even acknowledging you let alone touching you. Your back shivered at the sound, blood freezing like ice on a frozen lake.

"You don't even look at her, she's none of your concern, Strange," her eyes bored into his own.

His face morphed into one of curiosity mixed with concern. Tilting his head towards you, it's almost like he was trying to analyse your soul and your every movement. An unsettling feeling was stirring in the pit of your stomach.

Your head looked towards Wanda and for once you saw the look of worry in her eyes as she looked at you. It was almost like she knew something was arising before you did, her eyes softening for a moment looking at him.

"No," she looked at Stephen knowing what he was about to do.

"Please," it was the first time you'd heard her voice so gentle and it was unnervingly unsettling.

It ripped into your core into your very soul, your mind and blood freezing on the spot. Everything you knew was changing around you and with a swirl of his hands orange went dancing around your body, captivating you in a sea of a trance, a sea of monsters and a sea of danger.

The blackness over took you within seconds, a voice echoing twice in your head. Wanda's screams inside the back of your mind, yet a voice dragging you through the damage. It was sweetly warm, sweet like candy, but it sounded deadly. It was once again something or someone you felt drawn to.

"Y/N?" The world went silent as a shield of what one would depict as heaven appeared in your vision, before all you saw was a captivating darkness.

Blurring lights and the sound of muffled noises, although being unable to make out what they were- was the first thing you felt. Your head felt dazed and confused, like you'd been underwater or trapped in a nightmare for years on end.

You often wondered if that's how Steve felt coming out of the ice, but then again he was dragged out of the ice 66 years after his time, poor fella.

You squinted your eyes more, not daring to make a sound. Not knowing your location was fearful enough but after spending so much time with Wanda, becoming accustomed to spending time in the shadows was what you did best. The room eventually adjusted to your eyesight and it seemed.. quaint?

To the left of your was a dressing table, littered with soft trinkets. Perfume's laying out in a rather specific order and a photo of someone you'd rather say was beautiful. Beautiful appeared to be an understatement, she seemed absolutely captivating. Something about that photo drew you in, like a mouse heading straight for the trap.

Trying to sit up, you managed before your head felt like it was being hit by a hammer, your vision was still adjusting to it's surroundings. A groan elicited from your lips, echoing through what you felt was an eerily quiet room.

A noise brought you from your thoughts, the sound of an opening door, before it shut once more. Blinking several times, your eyes drifted to the noise in question as you saw her. The woman from what you presumed to be photo stood there, elegantly dressed, the only thing that felt off about her was a belt that held up her outfit, a shield hooked onto the front.

She carried herself through the room with poise and composure, her hands drifting with her almost as if she was royalty from inside and out. You heard her muffled voice next to you and found your head shaking by itself, trying to make hearing easier for yourself.

"It's okay, sweetheart. Relax. Try to get some rest," her voice soothed you in a way you seemed to find alluring.

You tried to turn your head in her direction, your vision still making it hard to depict her features exactly. A touch on your skin made a gasp slip past your plump lips. Her hand was touching your arm, you felt it cold almost like ice, but the ice was soothing your hot pale skin, the contrast was exactly what you needed.

You felt your body almost sigh out as you drifted into a peaceful content slumber. Shutting your eyes and you heard her voice in the distance, soothing you into comfort.

The next time you woke, you heard a kettle boiling from another room. This time, your vision seemed to completely adjust to your surroundings, unlike before.

The four walls that surrounded you seemed to be painted in a sea of green, an earthly kind. It was almost trying to ground you to the exact place you seemed to reside in right now. Your curiosity got the better of you, legs slipping out the covers of what was in fact one of the most comfortable beds you'd laid on.

Standing up for a moment caused your legs to wobble, almost like you were bambi on ice; new to walking a fresh babe to the earth itself. Leaning your body weight on the headboard, you grasped it tightly allowing yourself to adjust to standing once more.

You did wonder if Stephen travelled that way how he himself wasn't like you every time, there was no way you could do that every time.

Deciding to venture out of what had been your cocoon of dreams, heading towards the broken oak door, standing firm and tall in front of you. Grasping the handle you turned and made your way into what appeared to be the sitting room.

Your head tilted to the left slightly as you saw aa kitchen well stocked, pans and pottery laid out neatly. It seemed a comfortable home, but it didn't stop you from being weary. It never stopped Hansel and Gretel eating the sweets especially with the way it seemed appetising so you knew better than that.

"You don't have to creep about you know?"

A voice so soft you might have missed it, gently passed through the room. Your body tensed up and you didn't known whether you'd stopped breathing or not but it certainly felt that way.

Turning your head in the direction of the voice, it lead your eyes straight to a little arm chair. The face was hidden behind a newspaper legs crossed underneath as the woman's high heels perched just above the floor. Slowly, the newspaper lifted itself down and a sudden gasp nearly elicited from your lips at the sight.

You'd been familiar with this face before. Back when you were a previous assistant within the avengers tower you'd heard whispers through the walls, the hallways. Steve's lover. Or was lover and by the gods you couldn't blame him she was indeed stunning.

Her hair was pinned loosely around her, suiting her frame so well as her chocolate curls contained a certain bounce. A burgundy coat above the top of a white blouse completed with a loosely waisted skirt and heels. You'd noticed that her lips in the process had tilted up and it was then you'd realised you'd been staring for a period of time, embarrassingly.

"You've been staring for a period of time darling, aren't you going to say anything? Or at least sit. Please, I do insist," her voice carried while a soft tone a hint of demand was hidden underneath.

Your feet moved before your mind did, before you knew it you were sat cross legged upon a chaise lounge she had in the corner just mere feet away from her. She tilted her head almost in curiosity expecting something from you and you couldn't remain quiet anymore.

"Where am I?" Your voice quivered and you damned yourself for having lack of confidence.

The brunette let out a low hum, placing her newspaper to the side before bringing her hangs to clasp together on her knees.

"At the moment you're in my apartment complex but it's not the time period you're all too familiar with. It's 1946, June the 15th to be exact," her voice carried with such elegance it shivered you to the core.

Your eyes darted around the room unsure of how to even respond to anything. Your mind was spinning with several thoughts, Wanda being one of them.

Yet, almost as if she could read your mind the voice of the ever so graceful woman carried itself through the room, her eyes fixed on you. The newspaper discarded to the side as her eyes bore into your own.

"She doesn't need to be your concern dear, not now and not ever. That much I can promise," her thick british accent sending shivers down your spine and embarrassingly places you wish it wasn't hitting.

Feet carrying you first, you tried to make a bee-line to the door. Why on earth you thought that would make sense you'd never know. After all it was 1946, you'd have the issue of being stuck in a time period that had no care for yourself.

A deep chuckle bounced through the room as the brunette stood up, her heels making her presence known to you. It was as she stood up, her fingers flexed on the door handle you saw how.. flexed she was. Your eyes hadn't meant to but her shoulder's seemed muscular and her upper arms seemed to be bulging with power. Eyes flying all over her figure before bouncing back to her own face you flushed at being caught.

You were just going to have to grin and bare it. That was all you could do, it wasn't like the company was unbearable. Especially when you were stuck with someone who made you feel indescribable feelings all over as such as she did.

Tea was made every morning at 8:15am on the dot, no exceptions. You'd learnt to adjust to Peggy Carter's schedule. Not that you'd had scarcely any choice. Stepping out of line meant the handcuffs came out. It was for your own good, for protection.

Though the days melted and merged into one. You'd never been allowed to touch much of the outside world, for her fear of a pretty thing like yourself being unable to be kept safe from the dangers of men and the prospect of the hatred in humanity. That's what she told you.

Who were you to question any of it? To question her authority. You'd be allowed snippets of the world around you through newspapers and glimpses through window's and the radio's but that was all. Her pretty little pet kept safe through her 4 walls of apartment complex.

She was always out saving the world with her intense captain america shield. Peggy caught you glancing constantly at her muscles, they seemed so well sculpted it was almost like art work.

"Careful sweetheart, if you stare any longer you'll find yourself encapsulated within these muscles yourself," though you weren't sure what that meant.

The drifting sounds of moans and sweat echoed throughout the rooms constantly, yet you dare not venture out at night for fear of punishment. You didn't mind pushing the boundaries of the older woman, but pressing too far could result in consequences you dare not cross.

The green door had always crossed your mind though. The one hidden away with lock and key, unable to be touched, to be seen within. Your mind constantly drifted to it, it was like a sinful prospect one for an innocent mind like your own couldn't touch. You'd been caught many times trying to sneak in.

"Maybe one day you'll learn your lesson hm? I'm only trying to protect your dumb brain from the less of innocence content within those walls," Peggy constantly chided you.

That's how you found yourself now. Reading yet another daily newspaper of the New York Times, leg's crossed underneath you. Lips tilted upwards as you saw another photo of Peggy in her suit, shield clasped tightly in hand admiring her work for the city and almost how she protected the world.

As your eyes darted around the page, you felt an oncoming wetness hit your core that made you feel embarrassingly sick to your stomach in more ways than one. How can one simple woman in a suit, despite it being so well fitted- have such an affect on you?

A cough from the door brought you from your thoughts and you lifted your head up slowly. Peggy stood in a trench coat, doing well to hide her suit underneath but her hands despite her well painted nails seemed so.. strong it took everything in you not to shiver.

"I'm going out for a little while, I shouldn't be too long. Try not to injure yourself while I'm gone won't you sweetheart," Her voice carried such authority laced with something of poison.

All you could do was nod fast, words unable to form past your lips. You were no longer frail and afraid to talk, not always anyway. You'd have responded had it not been for the images dancing through your mind, one that you had no doubt she was aware of. Peggy loved to play games with you and your authority had little to none existent in this world. Not that it ever existed before with Wanda.

Her heels hit the floor in a pace indicating to you wherever she needed to be apparently wasn't planned. In the period of time that you'd resided here it had come to your attention she was never late for anything. If on the very rare occasion she was she always stood by the same motto- 'I'm not late, everyone else is merely early,' with no one daring to argue otherwise.

Deciding to busy yourself as you heard her apartment door shut and the sound of her becoming more and more distant, you'd settled on a little cleaning. What else was there for you to do?

Beginning in the pantry, you dusted the back of the cupboard, moving pots and pan's. The old tea-set hidden away for occasions not yet known to you. It spoke so clearly of Peggy in ways, yet her brawny self often contradicted the dainty tea-set.

As you moved from room to room, the minutes merged into one and you hadn't the faintest idea with how much time had passed. You never did when staying here though, given up hope of seeing Wanda or your own universe once more. Yet, the thought of leaving Peggy left an unsettling feeling in your stomach, twisting and turning it.

As your mind drifted over to the woman who often danced through your thoughts you'd approached her room. You'd scarcely ever come in here, only if you'd had a nightmare like a frightened child.

Even then, she'd escort you back to your own room slipping in with you. Her arms wrapping around you like a beacon- despite the feeing of a predatory approach lingering in the atmosphere.

The red door creaked open, the familiar squeak invading your senses. The smell hit you instantly, a rich taste of perfume's and spices. It smelt like a fragrance of cherry's and cinnamon. It was mixed with something of poisonous ivy the lingering metallic taste of blood and lust.

Feet carrying you forward, your eyes couldn't help but linger through the room. The bedsheets laying in front of you caused your mind to drift to places that were dark and sinfully dirty. It was wrong, toxic and barbaric but you couldn't resist.

Moving towards her vanity mirror with an auburn desk, you tried your best to clean and not allow your mind to succumb to disdainful feelings. Fingers drifting with a duster, until your hand grazed over her red laced panties.

Fingers touching the undergarments your mind screamed at you to stop, you weren't a prying kind. Peggy would scold you perhaps even kill you if she discovered what you were doing.

The thought's of calling her Captain Carter as her brazen hands, muscles and mouth moved over you. It was wrong, unthinkable but your mind was doing the thinking without intention. Your fingers had found their way into your underwear, rubbing you fast on your clit, needing the stimulation.

Moans slipped past your lips as your mind was falling so far underneath the covers of Peggy Carter; the lustful thoughts of her muscles, her tanned skin and that smart brain of hers. You'd almost fallen down onto the sheets themselves throwing all care of being caught to hell. That was until it caught your attention from the corner of your eye.

A silver key hung upon the the nail on the wall dangling in the light. Your hand lifted slowly from your underwear your innocent mind once more taking over as your feet moved before your mind. It was shaped in such a way of an elderly metal anyone would deem it out of place.

Instantly you thought of that one thing, the one forbidden moment of this apartment not even you had seen her enter as far as your knowledge went. At least not with your presence around Peggy. That one oak-green door. It was seen as the most important part of the apartment that remained untouched by you, forbidden fruit that you wanted to taste.

How or why you did not know, but your legs seemed to move without a sense of thought, moving without your mind instructing so. Drifting until you stood upon it, that one forbidden room calling you like a shadow of death in the night.

Shaking hands rose from your pocket, key clasped tightly within your nimble fingers. The silver object looked worn down, almost making your insides twisted and blood cold. Why, you were unsure perhaps it was due to the fear it wouldn't fit. Yet if it did, what would you find beyond.

Without second guessing yourself, the silver rusty key slit into the hole without hesitation. Your hands jittered with exhilaration and nerves, but it was too late to turn back now.

The door shifted from its hinges slowly creaking open, instinctively making you shut your eyes for some unknown involuntary reason. Shuffling into the room, floorboards creaked beneath your shoes and each breath you released made you shiver to your core.

Creaking open an eyelid you were met with an aurora of a red dimmed room, barely seeable to the naked eye. No other colours seemed to shine through, bare the slightest light from the door you had now stepped foot through. Turning your head to the left a glimpse of something hanging in a rather clipped row had caught your eye.

A strung of photo's lay out in a pegged line, seemingly drying off as though recently hung there. Others beneath them in a watery substance to which you were assumed to waiting for development. As your feet dragged your body forward, heading further into the room you came to a halt. A strange sense of bile rose up to your stomach, good or bad you were unaware until your eyes focused further upon the images.

A deep cold ice, ran through your veins as you focused on the pictures in front of your very eyes, heart dropping into the pit of your stomach. Everywhere you now looked you saw them all, everything.

Photo's of yourself hung on the walls, lining the string and if you looked down at the one's being developed you could make the outline of your facial shape.

Some seemed merely innocent enough, tea preparing in the kitchen taken from all at different angles. Cooking, reading even shoe polishing and cleaning seemed to picture you on her walls. Yet they were the least of the incriminating elements of the bunch. Turning on your heels ever so slightly you saw the others.

Painted upon the thin string was photo's of you in compromising positions, some asleep, covers half pulled down. Others taken from some form of secret angle as you were bathing in what you assumed to be secrecy. Every aspect of your life you presumed to be private no longer seemed so and you weren't sure whether you could stand it.

Hands drifted along the images, an unexplainable pit filled your lower region causing a heavy blush to form on cheeks, filling you up with desire and a heavy need. Yet, you should not feel this way. The older woman had invaded you, sneaked and snooped in areas one should not dare, yet it thrilled you.

The door behind your body creaked shut and your entire body froze up in fear, as though death itself had walked over your grave. It couldn't be? You didn't even hear Peggy enter the apartment, let alone walk around the floorboards.

Eyes fixated on the photo's you body shivered, not daring to move from your position, feet fixated on one point of the floorboard. You felt shuffling behind you, silent like a predator obsessed and desperate for its prey.

An aroma of her perfume invaded your senses from behind, her breath heavy on your neck. It was like a metallic malice drifting around the room, drawing you into the forbidden touch.

"I see you're incapable of following my instructions hm," her sultry but strict voice broke the inevitable silence.

"I'm um.." You began to stutter but a hand clasped over your mouth silencing you instantly.

Her perfectly red painted nails curled just perfectly around your plump lips, for some reason allowing even further heat to hit your core. It embarrassed you, you shouldn't feel this way considering you weren't really residing her by choice. Yet something about Peggy made you fall deeper into her trap.

"It was inevitable you'd be unable to resist the door of temptation eventually. I was merely waiting how long it would take you," she whispered huskily.

Her hands drifted down your waist, her face now pressed into the crook of your neck causing your entire body to shake with adrenaline. Her nose breathed in your scent and Peggy let out a heated heavy sigh, causing your legs to go to jelly.

"You see these photo's of you hm?" She asked and you could tell it wasn't a rhetorical question.

However, your brain was so foggy all you could do was merely nod as her teeth very lightly nipped at the nape of your neck causing a sharp gasp to slip past your lips. Though you couldn't see her, it was easy to guess a devious smirk was curled up on her face as her hands drifted down to your hips.

"This was what I saw everyday while you traipsed around my apartment, morning noon and night. You sweet little essence carrying through my 4 walls. Wanda thought she had you, she never touched you did she?" Peggy asked quizzically as her hands yanked your hips tighter to your own.

A small whimper left your lips as you tried to tilt your head into her direction. Yet, that earned you a small slap on your inner thigh and a moan gasped past your plump lips.

"Oh sweet girl, you're so innocent you don't know what I mean by touch you do you?" Her voice sounded possessive now almost like a venom had taken over poisoning through her veins.

"N-Not fully, I don't think you should-" you tried to mumble through her hand but it was clasped tightly over your mouth.

Her thick muscles drifted down your body, strong hands caressing the skin of your hips setting your bones alight. A slick sticky wetness began to form in a place that made you blush, one you felt once before when Wanda had accidentally walked in on you changing.

Yet, she merely looked you up and down like a pawn in a game, no serious interest within you and slammed the door shut. Peggy was different, the older woman seemed to want to worship you like the gods had created you for herself to admire and fawn over.

Her thigh slid between your legs causing your head to fly back in ecstasy and a deep chuckle left Peggy's lips. Her fingers marvelled over your now revealing skin, since she'd unknowingly to yourself ripped your pants off.

"Oh, but I think I should teach you a lesson. I may have wanted you to find this room, but did I give you permission?"

A low whimper left your lips which earned a hard growl from Peggy and her knee pressed harder in between your core, almost painfully as she cupped her cheek with her firm fingers.

"I asked you a question, answer it darling," she instructed firmly.

"No, no you didn't."

With that her hand slipped into your underwear rubbing hard and fast without mercy, causing you to cry out. If it wasn't for her strong grip on you, your legs would have turned to absolute jelly.

Peggy slipped to fingers into you, pumping ferociously causing you to let out a muffled scream. You'd never felt this feeling before, it was pleasurable. It was painful but like a thousand butterflies dancing within your stomach travelling down your body.

Shaking you found your own hips jerking up to meet her hard thrusts earning you a significantly hard bite on the side of your neck. Instantly, you knew it was bound to create a deep purple mark on your skin, as Peggy marked her territory. Her hands roaming your body, her muscular biceps you felt behind you now slick with sweat, the scent driving you into bliss.

A tight knot formed within your stomach as Peggy added yet another finger, her thrusts getting more intense with further intention. It was clear she wanted to possess your body, obsess over it in fact. Yet, there was nothing you could do to stop her, no power you held, no gods could halt the course of events unfolding. Even as you screamed her name, like the 4 walls were the only thing that could hear you she didn't slow down and a vision of white before darkness fell.

All you could hear was whispers of her voice, "That's my girl."

The painful sounds of shouting was what awakened you from your own mind, distant voices and the clashing of battles closing within you. Eyes flickering, for a moment assuming it was a dream, yet as your eyes flickered down you realised the dreaded yet somehow anticipating truth.

It was anything, but a dream. Eyes flickering down, you felt her strong hands once again caressing your skin, but your location was different now. Surroundings seeming off, vision trying to focus once more. A realisation hit you that Peggy had brought you to the midst of a battlefield with none other than Stephen Strange & Wanda Maximoff.

She was holding her shield, stretching it to an unbelievable degree as her other hand caressed your skin roughly. A sharp pain hit your lower core, glancing down realising she was making you ride her thigh. Not only that, you were hers to obsess over in front of everyone & while you should feel shame, you did not.

Instead as she made you fall over the edge again and again, not holding back once. Wanda and Stephen could do nothing but attempt to fight Peggy to gain you back from the clutches of the older one's arms. She whispered dirty thoughts within your ear, painting your face into a beetroot red colour.

"Imagine my shield being your way of getting off sweetheart, just look at how beautiful you look on my thigh," She continued to whisper somehow her strength being able to fight against the others.

Peggy was many things, possessive, obsessive and completely determined to keep you within her grasp. Even as her body was slick with sweat from fighting and using you as her outlet she was like a beauty of a goddess sent from heaven and hell to use you as she pleased. A constant battle of your vision fading in and out as you let the strength of the woman carry you into your bliss over and over again, broke everything in you making something more.

"Mine," was all you heard from the woman caressing your skin roughly, her callous hands sending you into a starlight of galaxy releasing all over her thigh once more.

[elialys]

Hope you don't mind me info dumping my thoughts after watching newsreader and also reading some of your thoughts (I am so hyper focused on this show lol)

If Dale is neurodiverse, what sort of neurodiversity do you think he has? Is he a bit on the spectrum or ADHD? But then it would man that he would mask himself quite well, he's just a bit awkward.

Anna was very beautiful this season.

I never understood why Lindsay was so obsessed with Dale? It was very creepy

I know I shouldn't but I really want to diagnose Dale, like Helen is BPD, but I feel like Dale had mental health issues, but it could also be just him being repressive.

I am going to imagine that post s3 he gets therapy and gets together with Helen. He accepts he is bi too.

I have SO many thoughts when it comes to Dale being on the spectrum! A lot of it is my ‘neurospicy’ detector going off when I watch him, but joking aside, I think I see him as a neurodivergent character because he displays a lot of traits that are fairly common for people on the spectrum.

Disclaimer, I come from a family full of neurodivergent people, some with a diagnosis, some without, many with…‘characteristics’—myself included. I also study/work in a field that has me spending a lot of hours every day with people on various versions of this infamous spectrum, so while I am joking about having a neurospicy ‘detector,’ I am sensitive to neurodivergence, and often recognize it (and I’m usually right when I do).

Dale is socially awkward. Yes, I know, it sounds like a cliché, but it is an actual fact that social interactions are often hard when you’re neurodivergent. You’re just…slightly off, in a lot of situations. Dale takes things literally. He rehearses how he’s going to deliver lines, way beyond how he will be on camera, but with people too. The mirror thing he does? I’ve done it, and I know a lot of people on the spectrum do it, it’s a real thing.

Also, he hyperfixates. He’s got special interests—in this case, newsreading and journalism (since he was a very young child), to the point of it becoming his entire identity. He also likes rules, and following those rules, and fitting in boxes 🥲

You’ve mentioned masking, which is one of the main things neurodivergent people do, in an attempt to fit in with people and society. Very often, when you’re neurodivergent, the world around you makes you understand at a very young age that any odd behavior/responses you have are not acceptable; you’re often rejected/mocked for being awkward in social settings. So you learn to mask, without realizing you’re doing it. It’s a coping mechanism. Everyone does it to some extent, but autistic people do it on a whole different level—and it’s exhausting.  

(I’m continuing the rest of this TED Talk under a read more because I need to talk about season 3, so, SPOILERS!!)

Dale’s entire arc from season 1 to 3 is a form of masking. He says it himself in the finale “You would hate the real me, everybody did. So I changed him, and now, you hate him even more!”

He’s obsessed over his image, about how people view him, about needing to appear normal, may it be in his masculinity, in his sexuality, in everything that makes him HIM. So many of those horrible comments he listens to say something along the line of “he’s weird, he’s off-putting, there’s something stilted about him.” The harder he tries, the less “normal” he appears, and it makes him absolutely spiral.

Dale hitting himself in that heartbreaking scene in 3.06? To me it’s not just a physical representation of his self-loathing.

[article]

I’m no expert so I don’t want to extend too much on that and risk saying the wrong thing, but self-harm most definitely is a thing autistic people may do, especially when they experience meltdowns, which is when someone is so overwhelmed by a situation that they lose control of their behavior. To be honest, the whole first half of episode 3.06 is Dale’s inevitable meltdown from everything he’s put himself through this season—and everything that was done to him by ‘exterior forces’ (Lindsay on top of the list).

So to link back to another one of your point, Dale most definitely has mental health issues, too, due in part to his past traumas, the abuse he was suffering from at work, and the fact that he’s a neurodivergent (bisexual) human living in a neurotypical society. In a newsroom of all places! 💀

[panicloser]

Yellowjackets theory sort of more like an observation adding to an existing theory

Okay so I'm incredibly fixated on yellowjackets at the moment, i haven't had an idea of what to post and have just been basking in the fandom

But I had an idea that links to the idea that Melissa is going to betray Shauna.

Now this doesn't necessarily mean that Melissa's feelings for Shauna are disingenuous, they probably are genuine to some extent since she was willing to risk her life for a kiss but that doesn’t mean we can’t have her do a little backstabbing, I mean this show is iconic for the character’s complicated feelings in relationships. There's a few reasons that I think whether premeditated or not she is gonna betray Shauna. The one most interesting to me is with Shauna & Adams affair in season 1

A relationship that mirrors this one: Shauna seeking this person as a way to feel like she has power over someone or something where in her life she currently feels powerless. The target is obediently giving her exactly what she wants and allowing themself to be strung along by Shauna, making it seem and feel like she's in power. However, they are learning a lot about Shauna but Shauna doesn't know much about them in return. With Adam this results in a perceived betrayal.

When Shauna confronts him, she is of course extremely upset as you would but not only that she's also having a full on trauma response judging by the flashbacks to the wilderness, the reverting back to her teen self and ofc the stab. Now you could argue that she's having this response simply because she feels threatened or hurt and its causing those instincts and coping mechanisms she developed in the wilderness to kick in, definitely. However in her dialogue there's a very specific focus on the betrayal side of it, how she regrets opening up and getting close to this person as shes having flashbacks to the wilderness, how she feels stupid for letting her guard down which you would especially feel if you'd been through this before.

Plus later when she shows Tai & Nat his dead body in between being pretty apathetic she suddenly gets very emotional again when specifically thinking and talking about it, when saying she trusted/thought he loved her and he was going to hurt her/lying to her, despite the fact that she already knows he wasnt the blackmailer at this point. You could say shes lying but we’ve been shown many times that Shauna is a terrible liar. This could point to the fact that she's actually remembering a different time this happened instead. And everything she's saying sounds really personal and could all be things that maybe Melissa did to her.

She's having a personal resonse to the betrayal, at that point in the story there wasn't a relationship in the wilderness she had that mirrored what she had with Adam. Now this season we’re seeing her in an awfully similar situationship

Also this is especially relevant to Shauna this season since she is currently the most closed off she's ever been in the teen timeline so being betrayed would currently trigger her even worse than normal. And something vulnerable about herself has already been revealed to Melissa: the way she’s still holding onto her baby, in general Melissa seems to know a lot about Shauna already and shes getting closer to her. In both Shauna gets to feel a sense of freedom and she gets to feel safe and happy with another person for a bit in a way she hasn't in a while. Both relationships also carry a theme of being able to show the bad parts of themselves/parts of themselves they want to hide around each other, Shauna & Adam were having an affair & doing a lot of reckless activities acting like teens again and Shauna and Melissa are being malicious & trying to get a guy killed...obviously the stuff she was doing with Adam was more mild but you get my point right? Shauna gets to feel in power and free, with Adam it gets pulled out from under her causing a violent emotional reaction from her since she was finally able to trust someone again, it makes sense if they mirrored the same thing happening with Melissa

I'm just noticing the similarities between these two relationships for Shauna. The adult timeline's goal is to show how the events of the past affect them now so it’s a good way for them to subtly hint at future events in the teen timeline and if Melissa does betray Shauna it would then give more context to Shauna's reaction in the scene with Adam.

Now some extra spitballing here: if this does happen and sticking with the idea that Melissa does die in the wilderness cuz thats what i hope, this could result in Shauna reacting the same way she did to Adam and stabbing her, which would be ironic cuz Melissa gave her a sheath for her knife. This could possibly kick off the hunting and cannibalism again, that would be a great way to start it up again. Shauna once again eating someone she was a bit fruity for, that would link to her and Jackie’s relationship. If Melissa did survive, Shauna stabbing Adam could be her doing something she’d wished she’d done last time. Although its unlikely, if Melissa betrays Shauna I highly doubt she would live through it. Looking forward to it :)

Alright, that's my two cents, I've officially contributed to the fandom. I don't make theories very often so im quite inexperienced, you can go ahead and call me out if you think I'm wrong or I missed something or if i interpreted everything completely wrong, let me know :D

[pandemoniumonwheels]

I have a crazy theory about episode 7 of The Wheel of Time, but I need it to cope. Feel free to cope with me. Feel free to discard that too.

It was all Siuan's quick thinking and her masterplan. And Verin didn't lie.

To start we need to separate all Moiraine - Siuan meetings. There were three.

The first one, the cold one.

Moiraine demands answers and gets none. Siuan is visibly angry, but also worried. She outright calls Moiraine's stilling a violation. She is aware how hard it is, how dangerous, how difficult to survive. And she loves Moiraine, we know she does, she worries about her. She also has to check if Moiraine can continue their mission. At the same time she can't speak too freely, they're in Cairhien, the chances of someone listening to them are higher than chances of people not eavesropping on them. She needs to be careful. What Siuan says is: "The Tower's laws have stood for 3,000 years, it's time we obeyed them." She is quite vague about the laws she refers to. And she doesn't lie, they stood for 3000 years and every time is the time to obey them. According to the law. Moreover, it's a clear parallel to season 1, episode 6 Moiraine's words: "When have we ever followed the rules?" Since when Siuan who took a marriage vow in front of the whole chamber of Aes Sedai gives a damn about Tower's laws? Why would Siuan suddenly care? Well, she doesn't, it's just a phrase only Moiraine would understand, a code in case someone is listening. This scene is also the only one we see them being close, showing affection (Siuan's hand on Moiraine's cheek? I almost hear "pufferfish" in the way Moiraine relaxes). It's another sign to Moiraine, the non-verbal communication of Siuan's real intent. Then it fades to black. We don't really know what happened between them later. Siuan also talks about rowing together. Keep that in mind, because all that she does next contradicts that statement at the first glance.

The second scene - Rand

Siuan talks with Rand, a very weird conversation. Just a few seconds earlier we saw Lan reassuring Rand that Siuan is not a typical Aes Sedai. And what is Siuan doing? Talking about caging him. But also, she doesn't say she is planning to do it to him. Only that Tower laws require it. The idea is to have Rand as a warrior, not general. But Siuan never says it is hers idea. She shows him how powerless he is. Stresses how he needs to learn. How caging him would help with that? And then Moiraine comes in. Why? To be told (in front of Rand) how incompetent she is? Only to lock them later together, because why not suddenly imprison a banished Aes Sedai with the Dragon Reborn. It doesn't make sense. Unless it's a show created to convince Rand to trust Moiraine. Rand is afraid of the Tower, rightly so. He keeps pushing Moiraine away afraid she is trying to manipulate him, make him follow the path created for him by the White Tower, put a leash on him. Moiraine can't guide him if he sees her as an agent of the power he fears. That's why Siuan becomes exactly that - the White Tower Rand doesn't trust, an Aes Sedai carrying more about forcing him to obey rather than reaching his full potential, an image he hates. On the other side is Moiraine, taking his side, arguing with imprisonment. In comparison, she is extremely trustworthy. And it works. Rand finally confides in her, shares his plans, his brilliant idea of bringing Lanfear to the city(/s). That's when Moiraine's and Siuan's plan fails, one of the Forsaken is not something they wanted, but we'll get to it.

Bonus - Verin 007

We all assume that Verin lied because that's what Moiraine suggested. But did she really? Moiraine decided to trust her to some extent. Why wouldn't Siuan? The phrasing of the "order" was very careful, but maybe not because it was a lie, but as an attempt to allow Siuan to deny such order without suspicion. And to keep the pretence in front of Rand. It worked again.

The third meeting - the pain

It all went perfectly. The Dragon trusts Moiraine and takes her with him (finally) instead of running from her. Siuan is ready to proclaim him. She doesn't need him to do so. Him fulfilling the prophecy in Falme will only make her words more believable. Verin helped them escape, no one can trace this ploy back to Siuan. There is, however, one factor they couldn't expect. Lanfear. Maybe her appearing changed Siuan's mind about letting Rand go? More likely she just Aes Selies about some boy and runs after Moiraine. And magically she finds her without any issue in front of the Waygate. How? Only Verin knew where the Waygate was, and where Moiraine would take Rand. You know where I'm going with it, right? So we get to the closing of the Waygate. Because suddenly it wasn't only about convincing Rand. They had to deal with one more, unexpected guest, and they didn't have time to discuss any tactics. Siuan had to make sure Lanfear didn't see Moiraine as a threat. She would never allow Rand to keep close someone who is working for the White Tower. The risk would be too great. Someone cast away, alone, someone who just lost their love, whose grief might be just enough to turn them to the Dark is, however, a very different thing. Siuan had to create a scene which could convince the very mistress of the dream world that Siuan and Moiraine do not work together anymore, and that Moiraine is no threat to Lanfear's plans. There was no time for planning, no time for explaining, for games. Lanfear was getting closer with every second and they wasted some of the precious time on "you lied to me" part. Side note, I do think Siuan actually believed she was lied to, and her shock was real. So was Moiraine's reassurance. But that's when Siuan came up with a way they could fool Lanfear. All she needed was Moiraine looking utterly broken and betrayed. And there was one way she could achieve that easily. By violating Moiraine more than even Ishamael did, by taking control over her in the most violent of ways, by making herself a villain. So she did. She used the only thing Moiraine never suspected could be used against her by Siuan - their love, their devotion, their secret, sweet, forbidden dream. Siuan broke both of their hearts. And when Lanfear came all she saw was shattered pieces of their love. For her that was what made her turn to the Dark, what's more convincing than a lost loved for Lanfear? Before she could think for too long, see through it, or before Moiraine could do anything, ask questions Siuan would not be able to answer, Siuan attacked. Possibly expecting that's the last thing she would do in her life. And it worked again. Lanfear let Moiraine live. Lanfear took Moiraine with her and Rand.

Siuan made herself a villain in front of Rand. And a betrayer in the eyes of Lanfear. She took that burden from Moiraine, so Moiraine could focus on helping Rand. She used every resource she had, she gave up everything she had. Because Moiraine isn't the only one that knows the right thing to do, no matter how hard that is. And her last plea was for forgiveness and nad of hope that Moiraine understands and continues their mission. As Moiraine herself said, guiding, protecting Rand is more important than Lan. It's more important than her. It's more important than any love. It was Siuan's time to give up everything to the cause. Just like Moiraine did at the Eye of the World.

__________

And it was longer than I expected. I think I will be adding more analysis to the certain scenes, words and looks. Because as I said, I do cope hard.

[recovering-radqueers]

Anonymous Asked: I promise this post is going somewhere. TW include: incest, SA, CSA, abuse, and pro shipping. This has a message but you need background. My name is (removed) (that's what we'll use for this exercise), and I'm not a radqueer, never was, never will be. I was, however, a proshipper. For a while. I was sexually molested from the ages of 4-13 by my mother. I don't know the full extent because I developed DID to cope with the trauma of being molested. I was in an abusive relationship with someone we'll call AM, and someone else we'll call AD. AM and AD were proshippers. AD used to slap me when she was unhappy with me, or mad, and yell, and insult me. Then she'd blame her dad and tell me how sorry she was. AM never got this treatment. AM was never abused to my knowledge, but her mother was by her father. She's technically an abuse baby. AM and I had a lot of common ground. She and I shipped things in fandoms. It started with common ships, then rare pairs, and then incestuous and abusive relationships. I thought that it was going to be therapeutic for me to ship incest because I thought that that would help me with my trauma from my mother, but it never did. It's been 4, nearly 5 strenuous years. I've learned that I'm strictly antiship and anti radqueer because of her. AM and AD made me feel dirty and gross. Pro shipping made me feel dirty and gross. But I don't feel dirty and gross anymore. My issue was toxic people. Toxic people breed toxic traits and toxic beliefs like mould. Cut them out, and start healing, and that'll help tremendously. I say all this to say for every recovering radqueer that you're a step in the right direction, and that if people are making you feel like you need to be a radqueer, cut them out. It isn't worth it. Thank you.

I'm really really sorry that you experienced these traumas. I'm really glad, though, that you've been able to get away. You're right: Getting away from toxic people is a huge help. It's not easy to do at all, so I hope you know how strong you are for doing that, because that is huge. It sounds like separating yourself from these people and communities really helped you progress in your recovery journey, and I hope you can continue recovering from what was done to you. Stay strong.

-Mod Ally

(Don't put discourse on this post, everyone!!)

[lisbeth-kk]

May Prompts (26) Manipulate

The Luckiest Girl in the World (chapter 26)

Summary: Rosie finds an unmarked box in her wardrobe. When John scolds himself for lacking as a parent, Rosie sets things straight.

Twenty-Six Years Old

Six months after my return to London, I was moving out again. The internship at the ministry of justice paid surprisingly well. I couldn’t help but think that a certain uncle had been using his manipulation skills again… In addition to my wage, the generous inheritance from Nana and Timothy’s income from his published novel, were more than sufficient to buy a decent flat in Stockwell. 

Nana had clearly wanted that 221 Baker Street was well looked after, and gifted it to her two boys, and insisted in her will that if Deidre, or Dee, as she preferred to be called, needed a home, 221A should be hers. And for the last two years, 221A had been occupied by Dee. My parents got along with her like a house on fire.

“It’s like having a younger version of Hudders down there,” Papa stated.

“Agreed. The sassiness runs in the family, I presume. Dee’s skills in the kitchen are sadly things she did not inherit from her aunt, though,” Dad said.

“Definitely not! She almost sat the flat on fire when she was boiling eggs,” Papa filled in.

***

Moving out the first time, had been poles apart to this move. That time I was going on an adventure, and I knew it was for just a period. When I moved in with Timothy, it was forever, and that was more bittersweet than I’d anticipated.

Moving to Paris, I had only taken clothes, some books, my laptop and the like. Stripping my room bare, was something entirely different. There were so many memories, and I knew I had to get rid of some of them because the flat wasn’t exactly big, and there were Timothy’s things to consider as well.

Over the next weeks I felt that I lived inside a cardboard box. They were everywhere, even downstairs to let me have some room to move around upstairs and leave the bed free to sleep in.

On the floor inside my wardrobe, I found an old box that had remained hidden behind clothes, rucksacks, shoes and a bag with blankets. It wasn’t marked and I couldn’t remember having placed it there. I opened the flaps and gasped in surprise.

“How are you getting on?” Dad called from the stairs and seconds later he entered my room.

I looked up at him with a stunned expression. When he saw the box, his shoulders slumped, and he sighed heavily.

“Right. I’d forgotten all about that one,” he said sheepishly. “I’ve failed to keep her memory alive for you, haven’t I?”

“Dad,” I scolded him. “You had far more important things to cope with when she died. Raising me with Papa is the greatest gift you could’ve given me. Never be sorry for that. I don’t remember her at all. From what I’ve gathered she did some horrible things to you both. No, stop. She did. I may not know the full extent of it, but it doesn’t matter that she was my mother. Remember what Papa said about extended and chosen family. They can be way better than the biological one. Not that I would want to replace you, mind.”

We both looked down at the photo of my mother and Dad on their wedding day. I didn’t recall when it had been replaced with the wedding photo of Dad and Papa. It felt strange and a bit eerie to look at Dad embracing another person like that. I took it out and placed it in the box that was going to the bins.

“Rosie!” Dad exclaimed, more out of shock than anything else.

“It’s wrong, Dad. I don’t need that. To me she’s the one who gave me life, but she was never in it when it mattered, and I’ve never missed having a mother. I consider myself the luckiest girl in the world having you and Papa as parents. You’ve done a great job, and uncle Myc, Nana, Molly, Granny, Pops, and uncle Greg have been brilliant carers as well. Now, what else is in here?”

I found Ted, still stained with tomato sauce, a white baby blanket with a bee pattern, tiny boxes containing a curl of my hair, my first tooth, a book where my growth, my first real meal, my first words, my first steps, my first trip, (to Barts), my favourite toys and books were painstakingly written down in Papa’s handwriting. My eyes filled with tears when I realised how much love lay behind those notes.

“He didn’t let me near that book with my horrible handwriting,” Dad said in a choked voice, clearly as emotional as me.

Another book caught my eye. The one uncle Greg had mentioned. A book with children’s names. It was worn, and I didn’t know whether that was from Papa searching for male names starting with a G, or my mother’s search for names meant for me.

“Did you…”

“No,” Dad cut me off. “She’d already decided on a name once we got back together. After…”

He didn’t have to finish that sentence, and I’m glad he stopped himself. Just thinking about it made me nauseous. 

I hadn’t told Timothy about her yet, but I knew I needed to. He would eventually ask. The lack of photos of her would ensure that. I reminded myself to ask uncle Myc how much I could reveal. Not that I knew more than half of it myself.

After I’d put the box aside, I leant into Dad where he sat beside me and placed my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around me and pulled me in for a hug.

“I’m so glad you decided to move back here with me after she died,” I murmured. “We would’ve been miserable without him.”

“Yeah, two years was enough for a lifetime,” Dad said and drew me closer, kissing the top of my head.

“I bet Papa is relieved that he can walk around in just a sheet now that I’m moving out for good,” I quipped to brighten the mood.

Dad chuckled and he was unable to hide the glint in his eyes at this prospect.

Also available on AO3

All the love to the other magnificent participants <3 Thanks to everyone for the endless support and especially to those who normally don't read parent!lock, but despite that are walking the extra mile. I'm in awe!

@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @raina-at @helloliriels

More tags in the replies

[benrobertson2004]

Just finished the interlude for pact arc seven and need to get my thoughts in order

It was really good man

Demons if I’m reading this correctly are like antimatter or entropy more than anything they remove something and we fill in what’s not there as what they are

There more concepts with minds than anything else

Also we went full Lovecraft with it the Big Bang and everything after was the end result of the first choirs feast what that’s insane

This chapter made me like isdora and made her actions make Sense which is good because she just kinda annoyed me before this

The eye is scary man it’s monologue on human nature as it comes to violence while wrong for this narrative Blake could have done the magic equivalent of set of a nuke and deliberately chose not to and trusted others at least to an extent when he was angry and uncomfortable around them but it does remind me of a quote “I know not what weapons we shall use in world war 3 but world war 4 will be fought with sticks and stones”

In contrast the sisters still just confuse me there a sorority/mlm/cult built around the idea that a fire bolt dnd cantrip makes it safe for woman to walk at night? But they also run a business or the lead one dose or there a lobbyist at least any way they want to get Fells niece who is like 10 to join up and that feels like cult indoctrination also mass layoffs for wizard politics so screw her

The astrologer seems really nice and she gave Blake her mentor’s mug and that’s a big deal is there a fanfic that expands on that I hope there is

I’m conflicted on Rose but I’m going to wait and see now that she has agency feel kinda bad for her and she’s not terrible but I just get bad vibes like when someone has done nothing wrong but you know you would hate to work with them

The shepherd is interesting dose he see himself as a protector of children did he used to he did he leave Evan because he doesn’t like claiming there souls or is it the other way and sees it as mercy

The war Blake stopped is back on good luck stopping that given the only one who knows is a Sphinx who sleeps for 16 hours a day and teaches for most of the rest

Toronto hell pit cannon how deep dose it go I really don’t want to know

The shadow demon gave birth to triplets great

It’s the inevitable nature of decay that makes ur interesting it will one day get out just like the area is under served outside of the magical element a street left to rot after being abandoned

Rot in society is something that comes up a lot Blake being homeless and his antagonists being middle class families and institutions Maggie being singled out and exploited by laird one of those institutions after her life was uprooted by what was essentially a magical natural disaster the effects of the tournament arc on the city as Conquest just didn’t care about the people the arguments for there own sake with the Thorburn family destroying any connection and trust the monotony of Fells life of indentured servitude breaking him down to little under the persona he made to cope the idea from the Rose senior and Amion interlude with the clockwork soldier marching on the same path unhappy the arrangement of marriage for the Duchamp girls and how it’s a power grab with no other reason than power itself made into a tradition that seems to help little

[stinky-toons]

Hey uhm ‼️ Just a small nod that shotacon/lolicon/ incest anything of the likes isn't okay with me. It shouldn't be something I have to say, really, but after that whole fucking fiasco after everything I just saw I'm throwing it out there. I'm shaky and disturbed and shout out to my loving cousin who pointed some things out after stalking around for me I love you so deeply, and to who I mean this to idk if you can see this but after reading all that shit on your blog after digging its not okay man, I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner cos I wouldn't have ever played along and tried to be your friend, I'm not a person who ever wants to hurt feelings but holy shit dude. That's alot. Like I said, sorry I spoke to you but I didn't know it ran that deep, I had to sniff around to find that shit and it's...wow. I will not put myself through another strife again, I just got out of one I can't handle another

To those associated with him sniffing around my blog hello, no im not unblocking him I have my reasons, I'm not criticizing yall 🙏 Do what you want keep me out of it. If you're associated with him and curious because you too are clueless like I was, then go ahead and dm me. If you're associated with him and aware, good great we have no beef with one another I'm telling you now I don't fuck with people like that and I don't want the drama, and I don't want the hate because I am NOT putting anything like that out there- not that anyone has done that- but I see how yall respond sometimes to people I'm not down with that groove

To the clueless ones who get my notifs hi, I'm so sorry if you saw me interacting with BlurryMango I genuinely did not know the full extent of that rabbit hole and how deep it went. This is the last time that'll ever. EVER. Happen and I'm mortified and shaken so if I take awhile to post there's a reason. If you don't know that user hi!! You're one of my older moots and you don't know what's going on and I'm even more sorry to you for getting this on your dash ignore me unless you are one of the aforementioned in the beginning I have stated it before and now put it in more detail that I'm. Not in that community, I don't find it okay, I don't know any trauma you may have went through, but I particularly don't believe publicizing it is a way of "coping" with your trauma. If it was private then maybe that's a different story but publicly saying you like to write AO3 stories and shit like that about it is- In my opinion- a publication of something that shouldn't be public because you are in..PUBLIC. And if you are proud about where you stand then you won't mind me saying I don't want to assiciate with that, your ground is your own I can't stop you and you cannot stop me. This is running long now but I know prying eyes are watching me and you sending people my way isn't okay! This was distressing and quite frankly very unfortunate I have to even say all of this to begin with. But I deserve to say my stance and leaving people in the dark isn't my slice of cheesecake. Even if I was told you deserve that, I'm not that kind of person.

Long winded, if you read it all I appreciate that. I wanted to sprinkle in that sarcastic humour but honestly this isn't the time or place for that, this is one of my most serious posts I'll ever make and it will be the last. Stop sending your people my way. Usually I'd keep my head down and shut my mouth but I'm scared just a tiny bit and I have good people here that I adore dearly, and seeing me associated with that is..horrific. I started crying after seeing the full extent. I tried to give benefit of the doubt that perhaps anguish preluded you but that is alot of you saying it's not even the case. You're doing it for fun, and for the first time in a long time I feared for myself and those around me because I'm very social and like to group people together. I can never stand by that with you around. Writing incest for- in your words- "fun"? Is something nobody around me will ever face. I wish you the best, you and your therapy and again, I'm sorry

[EDIT]

Someone asked for more detail behind my scenes TW I don't even know, just stuff I found on my search that made me halt and stop. I'm not cropping anything, I don't know who cares so deeply, but someone asked my reasoning and pictures so these were the ones. I do not believe in harassment!! Like I said trauma is real and validated I understand as far as I can and also never had a proper stance because I've never had to deal with this before, I've seen.."anti's" (whatever that is? Not fully aware?) Threatening and harassing/doxxing people which isn't correct either. I'm done now, just be aware sometimes

[lindira]

PLEASE could you do 6, 7, 15, 16 for pa'ani and lucanis? the latest chapter gives me some ideas but I love hear abt them :)

Sure thing! I just did 6 and 7, but here are 15 and 16! Thank you!

15. What was the partner's reaction to Rook being imprisoned in the Fade? How did they cope? How did they react upon seeing Rook again?

Lucanis was stunned from killing Ghilan'nain, and needed help to get up and back to the boat, but he freaked out when he noticed Rook was missing. For a while, he refused to leave until they found her. When the others got more insistent that they had to leave (the Antaam army and Archdemon still being A Thing), Spite came to the forefront and drove everyone back. It took Taash (who just lost Harding) yelling at him to make Lucanis take control back and finally agree to leave.

The following weeks were extremely hard for Lucanis. At first he thought Rook was dead, but after they figured out where she wound up, he concluded that wasn't much better. After all, it took Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain millennia to get out of there. He spent much of his days eating less but sleeping more, thinking he might catch a glimpse of her in his dreams. He also took to going out to the Crossroads or Treviso and fighting whatever Antaam or Venatori he could find there.

When the team finally pulled Pa'ani out of the Fade, Lucanis just broke down, crying and holding her tight and kissing her temple. He truly thought he would never see her again or be able to tell her the full extent of his feelings.

16. How did your Rook react to getting trapped in the Fade and separated from their partner?

Pa'ani wasn't sure whether Lucanis had died killing Ghilan'nain and it haunted her that she didn't know. She thought she had ordered the man she loved to his death. She cries easily, so she spent much of the time in the Fade in tears. She kept seeing Harding's death and Bellara's abduction and Lucanis wrapped in Blight tentacles over and over in the prison, but also her mother's death and the argument she had with her clan's Keeper when she left to join the Veil Jumpers. Finding out Varric had died was a shock, but a little easier to swallow with Varric's spirit helping her.

Questions for Your Rook and Their Partner

[imagineitdearies]

Would Astarion and Tyrus ever try out some kinky stuff, eventually?

I hadn’t really thought about it until Astarion (however unfortunately) pinned Tyrus without thinking about it in that little drabble and assuming Tyrus wouldn’t like it. But it DID make me think about how they may want to indulge at some point as a way to cope with some of that shared trauma. For example, choosing to get tied up and restrained, but still in full control/consent.

Or maybe they just aren’t interested in any of that! But I’m very curious if they would be.

Hey anon 🥰

I have thought about such a thing ever since I got this ask, yes! And you have a very good nose for foreshadowing haha, because indeed the moment in the most recent drabble where Astarion pins Tyrus's wrist was a small nod to a future where they might dabble a bit in restraints. I personally don't think Astarion is a very kinky person, as I've said before he wouldn't make my 'top three kinkiest bg3 companions' list by a mile despite all his brazen jokes.

That doesn't mean nothing is on the table, of course. I imagine he'd have a mix of emotions about restraining his partner, especially when first trying it. But a little healthy dose of power, control, and most importantly trust involved in such an activity would be a nice indulgence on occasion--arguably healing, too.

I have a scene in my head that may or may not come to fruition one of these days, where the two try it out and have good (if imperfect) results. Tyrus would have some conditions/limits on the restraining, but he'd end up enjoying giving up control to some extent on his end too--he's been in charge of making decisions for them both for far too long 💀

And before anyone asks, I've also thought of what a reverse dynamic would look like, and I think it could happen if Astarion asked, but he most likely wouldn't until much farther down the line in the PS-verse. First gotta figure out how to enjoy himself again in general post-Cazador, poor guy ❤️‍🩹

[halfagonyandhope]

when the skies catch fire │ch. 42

first chapter (x); previous chapter (x)

Obi-Wan comes to slowly. A moment later, he feels the full extent of his headache and wishes he were still unconscious.

“General?”

Obi-Wan blinks.

He knows that voice. 

It sounds so similar to so many others, but he knows this one.

“Cody?” he says - or tries to. It comes out as raspy as Ventress’ normal speaking voice. He manages to keep his eyes open long enough to catch a glimpse of a tan face and ebony hair, the latter partially obscured by a bulky bandage covering the man’s right temple. 

And though every bone in his body is aching, every muscle sore, Obi-Wan tries to sit up.

He doesn’t succeed until Cody’s sure hands grip his shoulders and help prop him against the back of the bunk.

“You’ve looked better,” says Cody, and he’s almost cheerful. “Commander Tano says you’ve overdone it with missions in the past standard month. She told me to remind you that you’re still healing.”

Obi-Wan rests his head against the wall, reaching up with one hand to grip Cody’s shoulder, vaguely taking in that he’s in one of the cabins on the Ghost. He glances at Cody's bandage again. “You had your chip removed?”

Cody nods. “A few hours ago. But believe it or not, I actually left Imperial service a while back - well, I tried to. They shipped me off to Serenno before I managed to go AWOL.”

Obi-Wan gapes at him. “Your chip was fully functional,” he says, astonished. “You managed to override it?”

“Good soldiers may follow orders,” says Cody, “but good men know when they shouldn’t.” He’s looking down, his tone soft. Then he meets Obi-Wan’s gaze again. “I wanted to apologize - ”

“Not necessary,” Obi-Wan grunts.

“General, if you hadn't left the Jedi when you did, I would have tried to kill you - ”

Instead of letting this continue, Obi-Wan pulls him in for a hug, which succeeds in shutting Cody up. Cody is initially tense against him, but his shoulders relax in acceptance after a few moments, and his arms move to rest on Obi-Wan’s back.

Obi-Wan closes his eyes tightly. 

He’s not sure he’ll ever understand the magnitude of what Cody was able to do, how gargantuan a task it was to walk away, but he’s sure it’s one that very few clones could accomplish. 

Obi-Wan pulls back, dropping his hands to his side. Cody’s hands return to Obi-Wan’s shoulders, and he looks at Obi-Wan with concern.

“Are you alright, Obi-Wan?” he asks, dropping the honorific, and he immediately has Obi-Wan’s attention.

Obi-Wan laughs darkly. “Now that is a question,” he says. 

He considers this a while before he responds.

“Can I say that I don’t know?” he eventually asks, and Cody’s dark brown eyes somehow convey his understanding. “So much has happened, and I’m finding it difficult to keep up without being overwhelmed.”

Cody squeezes Obi-Wan’s shoulders gently and moves to sit down next to him.

“There’s so much I need to ask you about,” says Obi-Wan, “and so much I need to tell you.” He swallows. “The healer at our base diagnosed me with PTSD. But I found it…difficult to talk to anyone. I tried, obviously. I am trying. But I don’t think anyone will ever really understand the way I think you will.”

Cody nods. “I think I get it. It’s not like the Empire was giving out diagnoses, but I’m sure I have the same. The clones - we shared remedies, ways that we would cope. I’ll teach you what I know.”

There’s a calm that settles around them, and Obi-Wan nods, grateful. He gestures to Cody’s head. “If you got your chip removed, then Wrecker and Tech must have successfully stolen the medical equipment from Dooku’s fortress?”

Cody grins. “Affirmative,” he says. “We stopped on Dathomir to switch ships, and while we were there, we tested the med tech. Worked like a charm.” His grin grows wider.

“How long have we been in hyperspace?” asks Obi-Wan, suddenly anxious. “I promised Satine I would send word - ”

“We notified the Rebellion before we entered hyperspace,” says Cody. “We’ve got a few hours before we arrive.” At Obi-Wan’s concerned look, he adds, “You were out for a long while. We gave you fluids - you’d really overdone it.”

Obi-Wan scrubs a hand over his face. “Satine’s going to kill me.”

“Nah,” says Cody. “I’ll make sure no harm comes to you.” Then he looks flummoxed for a moment. “How do I address her now?” he asks. “I understand she’s no longer a duchess, but I also get the feeling she outranks us all.”

Obi-Wan chuckles. “She does,” he agrees. “But you don’t need to address us by rank, Cody. She’s just Satine now.”

Cody’s eyes flash down to Obi-Wan’s left hand. “Hmm,” he says, considering. “Seems like perhaps she lost a title but also gained one?”

“I would have invited you to be a witness,” says Obi-Wan, “but there was no ceremony, and there was the not insignificant matter of me thinking that you’d sworn allegiance to the Empire.”

Cody bellows out a laugh, and Obi-Wan has to chuckle alongside him.

“Speaking of former Imperial agents, how is Quinlan?” Obi-Wan asks.

“Ventress and Commander - ”

At Obi-Wan’s pointed look, Cody rephrases.

“Ventress and Ahsoka are with him on the Banshee,” says Cody. “He’d woken up before we made the jump to hyperspace.”

Something in his tone makes Obi-Wan tense.

“Vos is okay,” Cody assures him. “But he’s been through hell. They had to sedate him. They’ll bring him back to when they can more closely monitor him without needing to split their attention with piloting the ship and navigating hyperspace lane jumps.”

Obi-Wan breathes deeply, smiling faintly. “Have things finally gone our way for once?”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves there,” says Cody, but he’s smiling, too.

---

Knowing Satine is waiting for him, Obi-Wan makes sure to depart the Ghost as soon as it lands. Sure enough, Satine’s ash blonde hair is the first thing he sees upon disembarking, her arms tight around his torso the first thing he feels.

Conscious of the eyes of onlookers, Obi-Wan just presses his lips softly to her jaw before pulling back, taking the cane she’s offered him. Satine immediately moves to pull Cody toward her, embracing him just as fiercely as she’d hugged Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan chuckles at his look of surprise, but Cody pulls himself together quickly, returning the hug.

“Cody,” she breathes, stepping back from him, clearly taking in the bandage still covering his temple. “It is so good to see you again.”

“Likewise, ma’am,” says Cody, and Satine rolls her eyes at the honorific.

“I’m in debt to you for the countless times you’ve saved my husband’s life,” says Satine. “I think we can move past ‘ma’am’.”

“Copy that, ma’am.”

She sighs, and Obi-Wan just shrugs.

“What is the latest on Quinlan?” Satine asks, her eyes moving to the Banshee, which has just touched down beside the Ghost. 

“They’re going to wake him once the landing checklist is complete,” says Cody.

“Where’s Neha?” Obi-Wan scans the hangar, looking for the Mandalorian Jedi. “I think it wise to have as many Force users near as possible. Just in case.”

Satine places her hand on his elbow. “I’ve sent for her. She’ll be in the hangar shortly.” When Obi-Wan’s eyes still wander, Satine murmurs, “Léa is with her grandparents. I can send for them, too, if you’d like.”

Obi-Wan swallows but shakes his head. “I’ll see her soon,” he says, satisfied. “But I’d like to be with Quinlan when he wakes.” He holds Satine’s gaze. “In the meantime, would you mind introducing Cody to…well, everyone? I have a feeling he’ll be a great asset to Elzar on supply runs, once he’s had a chance to settle in and rest, of course.” His eyes glance over to Cody. “That is, if you want to stay?”

“Not even a question.” Cody practically beams, and Obi-Wan sends him a soft smile, placing his palm on his friend’s shoulder. 

“We’ll catch up more later, then,” Obi-Wan promises, pulling Cody close for another hug. This time, Cody doesn’t look surprised, and he welcomes the embrace. A moment later, they’ve parted, and Obi-Wan makes his way over to the Banshee.

He boards the ramp and heads to the holding cells, one of which is open. Ventress and Ahsoka sit on the floor, cross-legged, one on either side of a much-too-small cot.

Upon the cot, of course, is Quinlan.

Obi-Wan breathes in sharply, taking in the bandages to Quinlan’s skin, echoes somewhere in the universe reminding him of his own healing wounds. He’d suspected to find something similar, though he had hoped Quinlan would be spared the same struggle of returning to health.

Quinlan is naked from the waist up, a gas mask covering his mouth and nose to keep him unconscious. His locs are longer than Obi-Wan remembers, and his distinctive yellow facial tattoo appears to have faded somewhat. His skin, too, looks less vibrant - it is far paler than usual, nothing like his healthy, warm brown.

At that moment, Neha appears at Obi-Wan's shoulder, and then Yona behind her.

Ventress looks up at Obi-Wan, and he nods.

She removes the gas mask.

It takes a few moments, but Quinlan begins to come to. His fingers flex, and then he groans. Finally, his eyelids flutter open.

“Vos?” asks Ventress, and it is the most vulnerable Obi-Wan thinks he has ever seen her.

Quinlan has eyes for no one but her. “Asajj.” And he reaches out, searching, as though trying to find her hand.

Ventress grips his fingers between her palms. 

“You’re going to feel weird for a while, Master Vos,” says Ahsoka. “We had to sever your connection to the Force to bring you back.”

“Weirder than normal?” Quinlan asks, his voice slurring slightly, and Obi-Wan thinks Ventress fights back a sob.

“Yes, Vos. I didn’t think it was possible for you, but here we are.”

Quinlan shakily pulls Ventress’ hands up, so he can kiss first one set of knuckles and then the other. “You came back for me,” he whispers, and the waves of his voice sound like they’ve somehow been mixed with gravel.

Ventress leans over him, placing her forehead on his chest. 

“I never wanted to leave you,” she says.

“So don’t do it again, okay?” Quinlan says weakly.

“Deal,” says Ventress, and she straightens up.

Quinlan seems to finally register who else is beside him. “Padawan Tano?” he asks, brow furrowing with recognition and confusion.

Obi-Wan steps forward. “Ahsoka has passed her Trials, Quinlan,” he says. “She’s as much a Knight as you or I.”

“Kenobi.” Quinlan somehow manages to grin. “You helped with my rescue? No wonder it took so long. You were paying me back for me never being on time at our check-ins.”

“I assumed you being late was payback for me suggesting you for the mission in the first place,” says Obi-Wan, leaning on his cane. “I shouldn’t have, just so we’re clear. I am sorry.”

Quinlan shakes his head. “I don’t regret it,” he says firmly.

Then he looks over at Ventress again, still holding tight to her hands.

“I don’t regret one moment of it.”