#the kind of GOOD torture
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Hard magics systems make me miserable unfortunate I’m a masochist when it come sit world building.
Google open the wiki page for alchemy
#just be clear I’m having a blast#it’s just the kind of blast that’s not fun#you know like repeatedly dying in a video game#the kind of GOOD torture#shitpost#alchemy#worldbuilding#magic#hard magic system#soft magic#magic system#evriwher
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I got to commission @hattersarts for my humanformers tarnma... nobody does baddies like her!
With a cute little update for the fic they're in >> Love in the time of Red Rust
#WLW WEDNESDAY!#HOLY SHIT HATTERS DID THEM SO GOOD THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT!! THANK YOU!!!#tarnma#empty empty ee#she even did sketches of them... pharma is so... shes so! like thats literally her from my head!#also you all prob know work almost killed me last month so sorry for the long ass update LMAO#i lay awake in bed last night for like 2 hours tortured by visions for the next chapter so hopefully less time until the next update#but i think this one is kind of tasty i did Hmm Hmm to myself#i think we're rounding the corner on the final act tbh
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Legend tells of the carp that leapt over the Dragon Gate at the crest of a river and became a stand up comedian.
#also toyed with calling this comic riddle of the sphinx#but that had a little too much reference already associated with it#comic#comics#sphinx#dragon#ive been thinking so much about humor as related to the tortured artist and comedians and poets as sad artists etc etc#and how often that can be true but how this predominant cultural vision pigeonholes comedy as a low art or even just one you have to just#'be talented' at intrinsically. or even 'be sad enough' to be good at#instead of a craft you hone and an artform itself#this comic isnt exactly about that.#but it's related#it's more about... two very different kinds of people. but who are the same kind of artist#if that makes sense#and literally being scared of what you want#art tag#sequential art#personal comic#quite happy with how this one turned out. im excited to have made it i feel like its really different than my usual comics
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katsuki might be a little rough, brash to those who don’t know him, he might bluff with fake threats but even then it’s all talk and much milder when directed at you than at his friends. because katsuki is kind, he’s reasonable, he’s gentle, he’s a lover through and through. he doesn’t even ever really get mad at you, and when you’re mad at him, he doesn’t let that be either. the only time he’s mean is when he’s being nice to you; when he’s being so gentle and willing and willing and willing to be kind to you even amongst your frustration that it feels smothering, almost as if you’re undeserving of his rationality and patience. he doesn’t think so, and he won’t change his mind on it, either. he loves you and you’re precious to him so you’re going to have to get used to it and get over it because he won’t stop
#that audio that's like 'i cant marry you you're too nice to me!' 'what does that even mean?????' is so him. cries#also i dont even think hes like. mean in bed#again rough sure thats always good 🙂↕️🙂↕️ and overhwhelming and overstimulating#and teasing yes yes#but mean? like i dont.... think hes capable of it. like he would never be mean to u he loves u that doesn compute#and if u ask him to be mean hes just gonna overwhelm u with kindness. it's such a specific and special kind of torture#like ur giving him the silent treatment and hes making pancakes for ur and shoving them in front of u#because 'idc if ur mad u have to eat and take care of yourself.'#like. im gonna kick something#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#mha x reader#bnha x reader
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genuinely curious how the writers and larger dragon age audience would treat thom rainier if instead of being appropriately* repentant and putting himself in prison he blew up a major orlesian government building to instigate a chevalier rebellion or tried to have someone do some necromantic blood magic ritual involving uncertain danger and possible sacrifices to bring the innocent children he ordered killed back to life
#*appropriately as in showing the expected amount of remorse in the appropriate way in a society founded on guilt and shame#i think blackwall actually tells us a lot about how dragon age's writers conceptualize justice and deservedness of punishment#im glad we get the option to forgive him but why do we get the option when anders is exiled at best?#and later characterized as a villain by dai#when solas is willfully imprisoned at best and trapped in a horrifying psychological torture chamber at worst?#blackwall gets a full redemption happy ending if inky so chooses#and im not saying he shouldnt#i forgive him every time#but its so interesting to me that narratively speaking#he seems to earn his happy ending through submission to punishment via imprisonment#as does solas but blackwall is portrayed far more sympathetically overall#there isnt the same meta-level narrative slander and clear agenda on behalf of the writing to make you feel a certain way about his crimes#as there is with anders and solas#why? whats the difference? what did he do to buy himself that narrative goodwill?#put himself in prison? why do the writers love carceral punishment so much lmfaooo#mine#if you wanna screenshot these tags and add them to the reblog feel free#im realizing i prob just shouldve put all of this in the post but its too late now#i think theres actually a strong argument that thom does not do nearly ENOUGH to right his wrongs#where is his effort to reform the orlesian military? where is his criticism of orlesian imperialism?#how does serving in the inquisition have a direct impact on the people he harmed? it doesnt#when you compare him to someone like roy mustang#yes im comparing him to roy mustang this is my blog and you are never going to escape roy mustang comparisons here#roy's political ambitions following his war crimes are directly related to those war crimes#and his goals directly benefit the same group of people he harmed#their ancestors and family members literally#meanwhile blackwall just kind of does vague “good” deeds and gets a full redemption#he really does not make much effort to repatriate the harm he did as a soldier#he just moves on#which again.... no shade to blackwall. my inky forgives him
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I know the real answer to "why does Hell pull Crowley back down after his suicide prevention stunt when he's got away with so much other stuff before?" is "the show runs on what's funniest/most dramatic rather than what makes the most logical sense"
But I think it would be funny if it was completely unrelated. He gets down there ready to be tortured and they're like "you're late for the quarterly all hands meeting and it's your turn to give a team update"
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3am sleepy drawing
(WIP ..probably...)
#my post#dnp#art#dan and phil#phan#phanart#drawing this was a little like torture i was falling asleep on my chair#but like a good kind of torture (?) i like drawing ppl sleeping :)#ummm hopefully ill make this a full painting i have to do so much shit for university#i love the feeling all the pillows give btw.. i want to have 1trillion pillows..
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Prompt:
Arkham Knight Edition
Jason gets thrown into an alternate universe and finds his younger self being tortured in the asylum.
Things get… a little blurry after that.
When Jason comes back to himself he’s got a shaking kid clinging to him and a worrying amount of Joker parts strewn all over the floor, walls, and ceiling.
Seems like it’s going to be one of those days…
#Arkham knight#because I just managed to get my hands on a Funko pop copy of them MWAHAHAHA#my agenda to own all versions of Jason funko pops is THRIVING#prompts#Arkham verse jason doesn’t know who the stranger is but he killed joker and untied him#that’s good enough for him#he just hopes this isn’t some kind of trick and gems gonna get tortured again in a couple minutes#but that’s ok as long as he gets to hug someone just a little longer#OG jason is lowkey freaking the hell#out#reliving trauma isn’t fun#but also he’s got a tortured kid to deal with right now and that’s gotta take priority#and also the green is making a hard comeback upon seeing the J branded into Jay’s cheek#jason todd#batfamily#dick grayson#batfam#bruce wayne#robin#red hood#tim drake#batman#alternature universe#rescue#dimension travel#dimension hopping
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Look, I know Thrawn is a pragmatic, highly tactically-minded person and he works for the bad guys, but I’m kind of tired of all the cherry picking people do to portray him as the Literal Worst Person Ever.
“He doesn’t care about non-Chiss!” “People are only assets to him!” “He only cares about individuals in how they can serve him strategically!” “He’s quite literally a real-world Nazi and he should be taken outside and shot!”
Meanwhile you have passages like this:

Just related to this event alone, in Outbound Flight there’s a scene where Thrass lectures Thrawn (who is lying in a hospital bed with a shrapnel wound to the chest) about overextending himself and getting himself killed in his quest to patrol outside the borders to deal with threats—and “humanitarian” crises—that aren’t immediately relevant to the Chiss.
And there’s a LOT more like this out there. I don’t know, it’s just weird to me that some of his fans, the people you’d think would be ready to jump to his defense, are so determined to hate him that they ignore the moments where he displays more positive and humanitarian traits.
#thrawn#star wars#fandom wank I guess#and before people attack me on this#because it’s happened before#no I’m not saying he’s the bestest most moral most empathic guy out there who’s never done anything wrong#he’s a cynical Chiss idealist with naive views on good vs evil with a warlord’s toolkit#but there IS a happy medium between ���unproblematic fave who is pure and has never done anything wrong in his life’#and ‘sure he’s kind of fun but I’d smile with GLEE if this man were dragged out back and tortured to death
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I am perpetually haunted by Fizz's line in Oops: "You're STILL on the horse thing?" because it implies that not only has this been a lifelong thing for Blitz but also that he TALKED ABOUT IT with his best friend/teenage crush.
Imagine you haven't even told someone you like them yet but you've driven them up a wall repeatedly telling them that you're a horse furry. Could never be me.
#you could not TORTURE that kind of information out of me even now much less as a teenager#but you know what. good for Blitz. the man has no shame and i admire that about him.#blitz
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We'll make sure of it.
Star Trek: Discovery (5x07 Erigah)
#star trek discovery#commander rayner#rayner#michael burnham#callum keith rennie#sonequa martin-green#fwgifs#c6d#this episode had so much rayner emotional torture#and so much michael praising him for being a good boy. wait who said that#anyway i was fed.#it's kind of weird how much of my posting is discovery gifs. this isn't what i was planning.#three episodes left though and then i will be free of irresistible need to commit ckr's acting tics to tumblr#and will go back to giffing ds probably lol. maybe even learn some fancy tricks for edits or smth#who knows
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Ok so when are we gonna start acknowledging the parallels between imgonnagetyouback by Taylor and Get Him Back! By Olivia lmaoo
#both good songs but it kind of feels like a pending lawsuit lol#taylor swift#olivia rodrigo#the tortured poets department
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I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.
I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.
The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.
I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.
And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?
It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.
To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.
In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.
Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.
So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.
What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.
Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#i'm sure the doylist reason for the writing is just that pharma was a designated villain#so since he's a villain and 'crazy' it's fine for everyone even the good guys to treat him like complete trash#i just think from a watsonian perspective taking a sympathetic approach is way more interesting and logically consistent#what i mean is like. from a meta perspective one of the best ways to show that a character is super evil and not worth saving#is when even the good guy heroes. the ones who are supposed to be kind and compassionate and wise. see him as dirt#and this is also kind of a necessity in most plots bc TF is the kind of series that just needs action villains and long-term antagonists#so not every villain is written or has a plot to be made redeemable. and pharma is one of these bc he's not important or a legacy character#so from a doylist (meta) perspective you could read the autobots' disregard of pharma as a sign of#'this guy is not meant to have your sympathy as a reader. pay no attention to him'#but from a watsonian (in universe) perspective it paints a miserable picture of pharma being utterly forsaken by the ppl he served alongsid#and like yeah i'm super autistic about pharma so of course i view him with sympathy but like#the idea of being a loyal and good person for years only to be subjected to a Torment Nexus of#being blackmailed into breaking all of the oaths you held sacred. under threat of you and all your comrades dying horrible torturous deaths#then when your comrades find out about it they focus solely on the 'harvesting organs' and not on the 'blackmail' part#and then you get literally left for dead by your comrades and best friend hating your guts#and then you get rescued by a guy who uses you as a test subject for his evil machine#this is a fucking nightmare scenario like pharma could hardly be suffering more if the author TRIED to make him suffer#and for me it's like. the evil pharma did can't be decontextualized to what drove him to that. as well as the question of like#how easily ppl can write someone off as evil and turn a blind eye to (or even find satisfaction in) their suffering bc theyre evil#and either brought it on themselves or it's just karma paying a visit#like. i feel like if pharma WERE a shitty doctor and a terrible person his whole life then the delphi situation would feel like karma#but the way it's written and the lore retroactively put in makes it feel more pharma getting thrown in a torture carousel#and THEN becoming evil. but then being treated as if he was always evil or was some sort of bad apple#bc like i'm not opposed to LOLing when a villain gets a karmic torture/death related to the wrongs they committed#but in pharma's case it feels less like karma and more like endless torture + being abandoned by ppl who should have been more loyal
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Martin&Lewis nation. I adapted my ranting letterboxd review of hollywood or bust 1956 into a poem. Screenshotted to retain line breaks:
Please don’t hoit me
#now that i’m posting it. not sure it’s any good as a poem#just can’t stop thinking about that horrible torturous fucking movie. what a nightmare. my kind of shit#martin and lewis#poetry#dean martin#jerry lewis#hollywood or bust
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my spine split from carrying us up the hill. - so long, london, taylor swift
part 1 // part 2 // part 3
#fearandhatred#fearandedits#i use like the same three screencaps for everything it's kind of an art at this point#anyway enjoy another installation in the good omens x ttpd series#good omens#good omens season 2#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#crowley#aziraphale#taylor swift#the tortured poets department#good omens edit#q
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one day i will write yandere w the horror associated that i want it to be written with in my mind
#probably reo but we can throw sae around in this too if you want#anaxa is actually also a good candidate for this in the sense of him experimenting on you#but i think reo’s emotional and monetary manipulation and use of nagi is more frightening#anaxa can do the emotional manipulation too but… do i want to torture reader w him HAHAHA#i think w anaxa it might hit a little close to home for me waugh we will see#cora talking#yandere sae is a bit different i think… i feel like it starts more like a toxic situationship#he’s cold but sometimes he’s warm with you and that makes you want to stay; for the chance to experience#his once-in-a-blue-moon warmth and kindness that people rarely get to see#the reality is that he’s calculating; he’s done this on purpose to you; he wants you to feel like#you can’t live without him#alas. dangerous stuff to get into
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