#the method probably involves doing close ups-

[comfortlesshurt]

Skyler's VLD Zine Giveaway: enter by August 31st, 2025!

Hello hello!

As some of you may know, I have a TERRIBLE habit of over-collecting VLD merch. Well, today, that is YOUR potential gain. Because I have come to propose a silly little game with prizes for two (2!) lucky winners.

INFO BELOW THE CUT!

What do I have to do?

Draw!

Well, it's slightly more complicated than that. Spelled out:

Read one (or more!) of the six qualifying fics linked below the cut. Reading the whole fic isn't required if you find the scene you're interested in early on, but it's still highly encouraged!

Pick a scene (or more than one!) and create art for it.

Share your art on Tumblr (and anywhere else you want to), making sure to include: tagging the fic's author, tagging me, a mention of this giveaway, and a link to the fic. Finally, if you are okay with the author embedding a copy of your artwork in their fic (giving you credit, obviously!), please say so in your post.

I'll reblog your art when I see it, and once I reblog, you are officially entered for both of the prizes. If I don't reblog within 48 hours, please DM me in case I missed the post!

You are NOT limited to one entry! Submit as many pieces as you want. Each piece submitted gets your name in the drawing for each prize 1 time, so 1 piece = 1 entry each, 2 pieces = 2 entries each, etc.

Bonus: if you include a screenshot of or direct link to a well thought-out comment you leave on any of the qualifying fics, you can earn one additional entry per fic. The comment needs to be a comment you made because of this giveaway, so no comments older than this Tumblr post will count. If you can't or don't want to draw, you are completely welcome to enter the giveaway by only using the comment method. You can't stack multiple comments for multiple entries, so make it one good comment for each of the six qualifying fics for up to six entries in the giveaway.

Okay, then what?

Every entry gets you one (1) ecstatic author, no limitations.

But two randomly-selected winners will also win VLD merch from my collection! I will do the drawing soon after the giveaway closes on August 31st, 2025.

What merch!?

A copy of the Besitos del Mar Klance mermaid zine

A copy of Sharpshooter: A Lance Sports Zine

(Make this fun to host, and you'll probably see another round with different prizes in the future. I never learn to stop buying merch bundles...)

Any rules?

Don't be a dick.

No generative AI. If I find out you used it for any portion of any of your entries, all of your entries are disqualified.

Please don't enter something super generic. It should be clear it was inspired by the fic. Low skill is totally fine! Low effort is not.

Please don't enter if you aren't okay with the author of the fic linking to your artwork (with credit given). Bonus if you give permission to let the author choose to embed the art in their fic (again, with credit given to you!), but that's completely optional. I can't make promises for the other authors involved, but if you choose option 1 in the fic options below, I will definitely be linking from my fic to your artwork!

Some of the qualifying fics are rated explicit. Do NOT make an entry based on an explicit fic unless you are at least 18 years old. I have provided qualifying non-explicit fics for minors and anyone else who prefers them! I will disqualify any entry based on an explicit fic if I see that it was submitted by a minor. This applies to both art entries and comment entries.

The prizes are free and the shipping is free, but you do need to provide a full legal name and address where you can receive a package. I am happy to ship internationally, but please confirm that I will be allowed to send you a package from the United States before you enter. If I'm unable to ship to your location for legal/logistical/you-not-cooperating reasons, I will reroll a winner in your place.

If you just want to participate and not enter for the prizes, that's fine! Either don't tag me (but please still tag the author of the fic!) or mention somewhere in your post that you are not entering for any prizes.

If you're only interested in one of the prizes, say which one you want to be entered for somewhere in your post! I'll put you down just for that one so you don't win something you don't want.

All submissions must be received by 31-Aug-2025 at 11:59pm EST. After that, I'll be drawing the winners. I'm not gonna (and don't want to) stop you from sharing more art, but I can't enter you for a prize anymore at that point! I'll DM the winners, allow up to a week for a response, and reroll any winners I need to after that.

What are the qualifying fics?

I thought you'd never ask! All of the options below are equally valid options for adults who want to enter.

Option number 1 and 2 contain explicit sexual references. Entries from minors will NOT be accepted for these two options.

Option number 3 and 4 are rated mature but not explicit. Minors may participate with these two options at their own discretion.

Option number 5 and 6 are rated teen and should be suitable for anyone old enough to agree to the Tumblr TOS.

Mind any tags and trigger warnings on all of these fics. You are under no obligation to read any of these, and you shouldn't if it's going to negatively affect you! A fun little $20 prize is not worth it.

1) Maybe this thing works out (if I'm lying too) by @occasionalklance

2) escape velocity by @existwound

3) Grin and Bear It by @loadingboy

4) Even the People in Your Dreams Will Lie to You by @roylustang

5) i'm only overthinking when i'm close to you by @langst

6) No Place is Home by @catsushinyakajima

And there you go!

Final summary:

1 entry per fic if you leave a nice, well thought-out comment on that fic - multiple comments on the same fic do NOT get you multiple entries

1 entry per piece of art you create for any of these fics - multiple pieces of art ARE allowed for the same fic, and every art piece is another entry into the giveaway

Be nice! Show the authors you appreciate their fics! Please show me there's enough demand for something like this so I can look forward to hosting more giveaways in the future!

You can view the entries received here, split into 1 tab for Besitos del Mar and another for Sharpshooter.

[luckyartdrawer]

Hello good sir, I am sure you have well intentions! :)

I wanted to do some lighting practice for fun and now I have this sly devil. I'm pretty proud of how he turned out and how fast I was able to make this! :3

Welp. Now I kinda wanna turn him into a character. we'll see if I ever do, hehe :P

[weaselle]

it was too much i had to make my own post

line cook here. ACCURATE

if you don't get the hate, here's what you don't understand.

it takes up to 2 hours to close down the kitchen.

The last 60-90 minutes before closing time you do almost no cooking because the restaurant doesn't have many people in it and you've already cooked most of their diners.

So if someone walks in during, like, the last hour, the cook is in the middle of an industrial deep clean of the kitchen.

(these numbers can vary quite a bit from place to place but i have worked several restaurants with these actual times and the concept remains the same)

Say the place closes at 10. If you wait til the restaurant is already closed to start all your cleaning duties, you'll be there until at least midnight.

More than that your boss knows that on an average night you can start your clean up as soon as the last rush ends and get out of there around 10:45, even 10:15 on a slow night if you get lucky. That means there are plenty of restaurants where if you do take until midnight the manager is going to come up to you at some point that week and ask you what went wrong that night, and you'd better have an answer.

So this example restaurant closes at 10 pm. The dinner rush ends around 8:30, and shortly after that the cook is going to start getting every single dish possible over to the dishwasher because the dishwasher always gets hit hard and late, and the machine runs for 2 full minutes and only holds so many dishes, so the way that works out is if you wait an extra 30 minutes to give the dishwasher all your stuff it can mean adding like 60 minutes to the end of his shift. And you're gonna KEEP finding shit to send to the dishpit right up until you leave probably.

all these little square and rectangle containers in this cold table have to be pulled out and changed over into new containers, replaced by new full ones, or in some cases filled from larger containers in the back, which can result in even more empty containers to send to the dishwasher.

while it's all pulled apart to do this, you have to clean up all the spilled food and sauce and juices and stuff from the joints and ledges and shelves and drip trays

Once you get your line changed over in this way, and fully stocked, anytime someone orders something that makes use of a bunch of that stuff, you have to restock and re-clean it some. It might already be covered in plastic. Some of it might already be stuck in the back to make room to take apart your cutting board counter to clean. To cook a dish isn't TOO much of a problem at this point, but you're really hoping for zero orders because you still have so much other cleaning to do.

Meanwhile the salad bar and appetizer section and server station and everybody are all doing the same thing. Even the bartenders are stocking olives and lemons and sending back whisks and stir spoons and shakers and empty 4quart storage containers that used to hold the back-up lemons and olives and things. Every section is dumping their must-be-cleaneds to the dishpit as fast as possible because early and fast is the only thing they can do to to help that dishpit not absolutely drown into overtime.

The poor dishwasher is always the last to clock out, soaking wet and exhausted.

Around this time you probably scrub the flat top, which has turned black from cooked on grease and is still about 500 degrees. Line cooks are divided in opinion on water-based or oil based cleaning methods for this, but they all involve scrubbing with (usually) a brick of pumice stone using every ounce of your strength while you try not to burn yourself

you scrub it from fully blackened to gleaming silver and now if somebody orders something that needs the flat top to cook, you can either fuck up your cleaning job or fake it in a couple frying pans and pass that tiny fuck you down to your dishwasher (who usually understands, especially if you help them take the garbage out or clean your own floor drain later)

If there's deep fried stuff on the menu then the fryers have to be cleaned out, which includes straining the oil out into enormous and super-heavy pots full of oil so hot that if you spill on yourself then it's probably a hospital visit and if you slip and fall face first into it it'll be the last thing you ever do.

Then you gotta scrub out the fryer. Like you gotta take the (hot) screen out and reach your arm down into the weird rounded pipes and curved areas (so hot, burn you if you brush against them hot) and scrub off whatever is down there

Depending on your kitchen you might have to do up to four of these. Then you'll have to pour the (dangerously hot) oil back in

oh, and if you didn't dry the pipes and get ALL the water out of the trap and tank?

water reacts with hot oil in a sort of mentos and coke way that can send a tidal wave of oil past the open flame of the pilot light ...HUGE dangerous mess and/or burn down the kitchen if the oil lights up.

Unless! If the oil has been used too hard and needs to be changed, it's time to carry those open topped super heavy pots full of will-kill-you-hot oil and dump them in the barrel outside by the dumpsters so you can put room temp fresh oil in the fryers. whew!

The clean up is not just some light wiping down that can be easily interrupted, is what i'm saying.

You might have to do some kind of walk-in duty (moving around 50lb cases of lettuce and 50lb bags of onions to get to the stacks of five gallon buckets full of salad dressings and sauces to move so you can reach the giant metal pots and bus tubs full of prep and get it all organized and make sure it's all labeled and i have to stop now i'm having flashbacks)

THE POINT IS

by 15 or however many minutes to close, the line cook is doing an intense deep clean and probably has the whole stove taken apart to detail.

For some industrial stoves this means lifting off large cast iron plates that weigh like 20 lbs each and are still quite hot. Whatever metal burners are on there, you gotta take off and clean, you can see here the lines that indicate the large thick cast iron rectangles that sit on top of the burners to allow heavy pots to rest on. Those five (each has one front burner hole and one back burner hole, see?) have to be lifted off and cleaned with soap and a wire brush usually, and then the underneath area also has to be cleaned because a lot of shit falls through the burner holes on a busy night.

if you didn't do it when you did the flat top you have to do the grease trap (which can be like a full five minutes and is always disgusting).. You gotta clean out all the little gas jets in each burner with a wire or something so the burners all flame evenly, and sometimes you have to remove some of the natural gas piping that connects the burners to access where you have to clean.

you gotta clean out the bottom of the oven and the wire racks, and, oh gods, you gotta take down the filter vents from the hood fans above the stove.

See all the lined parts along the top of the wall?

those are hood vents, and as they pull air up they also pull a lot of grease and they have to be taken down and cleaned, then you gotta climb up there and scrub where they go before you put them back...

And then there's the mopping and floor drains and...

Anyway, that's what the line cook is doing when you walk in fifteen minutes before closing and order something that needs to be cooked on that stove. They are doing an entire industrial cleaning of a professional kitchen.

In some restaurants maybe one or two of these jobs will be every other night or even only twice a week, but in many, possibly most kitchens, ALL of these things happen EVERY night. You don't want to leave any food mess that might attract insects or rodents for one thing, so a really good kitchen is as close to brand new as you can get it every night.

IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO ORDER SOMETHING ANYWAY, HERE IS WHAT TO DO

open with an apology and ask the server to go ask what the cook would prefer you to order.

Any good server will already know what the cook is hoping for and what will make their line cook go into the walk in and scream. If it's significantly less than an hour to close and they say some variant of "oh anything is fine" they are either telling the lie their boss wants them to say, or they actually do not know what their line cook wants, and you can either use human connection and a conspiratorial just-between-us tone to get them to drop the customer-is-always-right act, or get them to actually go ask the cook.

It might be as specific as "the lasagna is easiest on the kitchen" or it might be a simple guideline like "nothing that requires the flat top" or "any of the sautés are easy" but a good line cook will probably have a system for if they have to make a couple of the most popular items after they start their close, so the answer is likely to include something most people like and you should be good to order that.

but for the love of all that's holy, please only do so at great need. Leave that last 30-60 minutes to the truly desperate and the crew's duties.

[girlkisser13]

being married to bruce wayne would include

• galas, charities, balls, etc. become more a part of your life than you probably ever wanted them to be.

• once you two officially become a couple, you become gotham’s "it" couple. whether you want to or not.

• in the press, the two of you are often depicted as gotham royalty.

• even before the two of you start dating, you swear you feel someone's presence at night whenever you walk home from work.

• it wasn't until a mugger attempted to steal your purse that you finally learned where that feeling of being watched had been coming from.

• when the dark knight told you to be mindful of your surroundings and to hurry home before swooping away into the night, you could only nod with widened eyes.

• you didn’t say anything until you got home, to be honest, you geeking out: it’s not every day that someone gets to meet "the batman".

• you gleefully call your boyfriend about it. he doesn’t answer it until later, but you can hear a smirk in his voice as he responds to you fangirling.

• eventually, you find out about his identity on accident.

• as expected, you’re a little upset. someone you were romantically involved with was masquerading around town dressed like every night was halloween, getting into dangerous situations.

• after the two of you talk about it, you begin to understand why he does it and while you may not necessarily agree with some of his more controversial methods, you can’t help but feel a sense of pride that he’s putting everything at risk just to make sure what happened to him doesn’t happen to anyone else.

• alfred always reports to you first whenever something happens to bruce, knowing how much he truly means to you.

• you’re the one he listens to the most (even more than alfred) when it comes to what he should be doing whether it be a complicated mission or something as simple as eating a much needed meal.

• most of the time you would find yourself waiting at a restaurant for an hour before he would text you that he can’t make it because he’s being held up.

• when he does show up, he’s late, he looks like a mess, and he greets you with a lop-sided smile and half-lidded eyes. and you melt because you remember that he did choose you and you do love him.

• bruce’s absence is always outweighed by his affection. he loves touching you even if it’s just your shoulders or your fingers or your elbows. he always finds a way to be close to you when you’re together.

• he’s always trying to make up for the lost time with you by getting you expensive gifts and trips, only for you to reassure him that he doesn’t need to do all this.

• you’re always able to tell when he’s had a particularly rough night. his usual silence feels different; heavier.

• he becomes a lot more handsy with you, more affectionate. as if you’re the last flower in a prized garden and he never noticed until now.

• if you’re asleep by the time he gets back, you may get woken up by him caressing your cheek, rubbing a thumb over your hand, or him putting his big arms around you to pull you in close.

• one of your favorite things though is definitely seeing the family. most of the time you see alfred and always try to tease recipes out of him which expertly deflects.

• whenever the bat kids are at the manor, he invites you because they love you and he knows you love them too.

• dick constantly flirts with you and teases you and bruce. you love to play along with him because it makes bruce very uncomfortable.

• he finally proposes to you after three years of the kids telling him to do so. you obviously say yes.

• the two of you decide to have a small, private ceremony at the manor. friends and family only.

• bruce 100% cries as soon as he sees you walk down the aisle in your wedding dress.

• alfred volunteers to be the wedding planner, because he always knew that you would be the future mrs. wayne. <33

[natsaffection]

weird request and it's okay if you don't do it.

but can you do like how Natasha is more confident and dominate at work, not letting anyone get to close to her personally but when she comes home she changes and her walls come down - she's more needy and touchy, she's much more caring but still has a dominate side.. but can you write like soft smut because Natasha is drained from all her work but reader tries to make her feel better with sex??

with a lot of praises, maybe a strap and also Natasha being called daddy maybeeeeee

Only with you. | N.R

Warnings: 18+! MINORS DNI! Strap on use (r receiving) Daddy kink, kinda possessive Natasha, holding hands while sex, much praising, Cute cute cute

Word count: 5,3k

A/N: First time writing a Daddy kink…definitely an experience. Some of you probably know exactly who I had in mind while writing this (politely, without the kink involved, but, no kink shaming here!☝🏻)

The glass interrogation room was silent, except for the steady buzz of overhead lights and the subtle ticking of a clock on the wall. From the observation deck, Maria leaned against the panel with her arms crossed, watching the figure seated inside, male, mid-30s, cocky on the surface but trembling underneath.

Across from him sat Natasha. She didn’t say much. She never started the conversation. She just looked at him, eyes unreadable, like she was dissecting him from the inside out. She let the silence stretch long and heavy, suffocating.

Eventually, they always cracked. Fury stepped up beside Maria, glancing through the glass.

“He’s not talking?”

“Not yet.” Maria said. “But she hasn’t really started.”

Fury gave a small grunt. “How long?”

“She asked for ten minutes.”

“She’s had seven.”

They both watched as Natasha finally leaned forward, her posture still relaxed, too relaxed. She tilted her head slowly, hands steepled beneath her chin.

“I know what you did.” she said softly. “And more importantly…I know what you were told not to do. So why don’t we make this easy?”

The man tried to smile. “You think I’m scared of a pretty face?”

Maria almost felt sorry for him.

30 minutes later:

The faucet ran hot over Natasha’s hands, steam curling up around her face as she scrubbed at the blood staining her knuckles. She moved calmly, methodically, like this was routine. Because it was.

The bruises blooming along her fingers didn’t faze her. If anything, they felt grounding. Like confirmation that it was done.

Steve stepped into the doorway, arms crossed. “He gave up the location. Shields moving in tonight.”

Natasha nodded once, still drying her hands. There was a beat of silence before Steve added “we’re having Game night today..” Steve asked, stepping beside her, “You should come. Cool off a little.”

She didn’t even look at him. “I don’t play with children.”

“Since when?”

“Since always.”

“You used to team up with Clint.”

“That was target practice.”

Steve chuckled. “You’ve changed.”

Natasha turned her head then, that slow, deliberate glance, the glint of playfulness in her eyes, but it didn’t reach her heart. “Have I?”

He studied her for a beat. “You’re leaving soon, huh?”

“Am I that obvious?”

“To them? No.” He gave a small shrug. “To me? You’re checking the clock like someone’s waiting.”

Natasha gave a faint scoff. “Don’t flatter yourself, Rogers. You’re not that insightful.”

“Right..” he said, the corner of his mouth twitching. “You just ditch game night every week because you’re scared to lose.”

“Mm.” She looked away again. “Let’s pretend that’s it.”

But he caught it, just that slight softness in her voice. A drop in the mask. Not enough for anyone else to notice. But Steve wasn’t anyone else.

“You’re good for her, Nat.”

Natasha paused. Her jaw tightened just slightly. “Yeah..” she said under her breath. “I know.”

The room was quiet, bathed in the golden hue of lamp light. A movie played softly in the background, the volume low, more for atmosphere than attention. You sat cross-legged on the couch, lost in whatever book you’d started, a loose hoodie slipping down one shoulder, the smell of fresh tea wafting from the nearby table.

You didn’t hear the door. Didn’t hear the soundless steps behind you. But you felt it, warm arms sliding around your waist from behind, firm and steady, the telltale press of leather and that familiar scent of smoke and wind and something sharper, danger, wrapped in safety.

You startled slightly, gasping just as Natasha’s voice brushed your ear, “It’s just me.”

“Jesus, Nat..” you breathed, half-laughing, hand pressed to your chest. “You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“Good.” Natasha murmured, her lips already brushing the curve of your neck. “Means you’re alive.”

You melted back into her immediately, reaching up to curl your fingers over Natasha’s forearm. “Rough day?”

Natasha didn’t answer right away. She was breathing slowly now, as if trying to push out the day, replacing the noise with this..this silence, this safe.

“Messy.” she murmured. You turned in her arms slightly, catching the faded red stains still lingering at her wrist, the faint bruising along her knuckles.

“You’re hurt…”

“I’ve had worse.” Natasha’s voice dropped, suddenly softer. She climbed onto the couch and pulled you into her lap like it was instinct, like she needed to feel your weight there, feel your warmth.

You blinked. “You’re clingy tonight.”

“Not clingy..” Natasha murmured, wrapping both arms around you and burying her face into your shoulder. “Just missed you so bad it’s physically uncomfortable.”

Her hands didn’t stop moving, one resting on your thigh, thumb rubbing small circles; the other lightly brushing up your side under the hoodie. She didn’t ask permission. She didn’t need to. This was hers. You were hers.

And here..only here, Natasha let herself soften, her mask slipping off piece by piece. “They wanted me to go for game night.” she murmured, her voice muffled into your collarbone. “Said I should cool off..”

You gently combed your fingers through Natasha’s red hair. “So why didn’t you?”

Natasha looked up then, eyes half-lidded but honest, open in a way she wasn’t for anyone else. “Because I don’t want noise. Or crowds. Or fake laughs. I want you. I wanted this.”

You leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to Natasha’s temple. “You’ve got it.”

Natasha exhaled, like she’d been holding that breath since she walked out of SHIELD. She tucked her head back into your neck, the strong, composed assassin melting into something achingly human.

“Just let me stay like this tonight.”

You curled your arms around her. “Then stay.”

Natasha hadn’t moved in ten minutes. Not really. Just lay behind you on the couch, arms around your waist, face buried in your neck, holding you like she needed you to breathe.

But something in the air had shifted. It was in the way her fingers dragged slower across your stomach. The way her nose nudged into the slope of your shoulder. The quiet little sigh she gave as her lips brushed the shell of your ear.

You could feel it. The drain of the mission. The weight of being who she had to be all day, calculating, cold, unstoppable. She didn’t complain. She never did. But you could read her like no one else.

And she needed something now. Not just comfort. You tilted your head slightly, giving her more room, more skin. “Nat…”

Her arms tightened around you, and when she spoke, her voice was low, warm, rough with need.

“Can I take you to bed?”

Not a demand. Not an order. A plea.. dressed in velvet. You turned in her arms, meeting her gaze. Her pupils were blown, lips already parted. The tension she carried like a second skeleton had cracked just enough to let you in.

You smiled, hand brushing her jaw. “You don’t even have to ask..”

Something lit behind her eyes. The faintest sparkle..rare and raw. She grinned. Grinned, like the weight of the world had finally slipped off her shoulders. Then she leaned in, kissed you hard, full of relief, need, love, and picked you up in one smooth, effortless motion.

You gasped, wrapping your arms around her neck. “Show-off.”

“I needed you all day.” she whispered, lips brushing yours as she carried you through the hallway, step by slow step. “Thought about you between shots. Between breaths. Couldn’t let it show. But I needed you so bad, baby…”

The bedroom was dim, sheets still messy from the morning. She set you down gently, like you were glass, then leaned over you, kissing you again, this time softer. Slower.

Then her lips trailed lower. Down your jaw. To the corner of your neck. Her hands slipped under your shirt, pushing the fabric up just enough to feel your skin under her palms.

She kissed the side of your throat. Then sucked. You let out a sharp breath. “Nat…”

“Mmh.” Her voice was muffled against your skin. “You always taste better when I’m like this.”

She dragged her teeth along your neck, sucking deep, not to mark you once, but over and over. Each time just a little lower. Each time followed by another kiss. A nip. A lazy drag of her tongue.

You started giggling, soft, helpless, already flushed. “You’re going to cover me in bruises.”

“Good.” she purred, lifting her head just long enough to smirk. “Then I get to remember this tomorrow when they start talking politics and intel reports.”

You tried to speak, tried to tease her back, but she dipped down again and stole your breath with another wet kiss at the base of your throat.

Then lower. She kissed down your chest, your stomach, slow and worshipful, until her fingers found the waistband of your panties. She looked up at you, dark eyes hungry but gentle.

“You okay?” she asked, even now.

You nodded, breathless. “More than.”

She slid your panties down inch by inch, kissing the inside of your thigh as she went, soft at first, then open-mouthed and slow. Her hands caressed, not just touched. She took her time, spreading your legs carefully, reverently, like this was the only thing in the world that mattered now.

And for her, it was. Because here, with you, she didn’t have to be Black Widow. Didn’t have to be on guard. She could be selfish. Needy. Gentle and hungry all at once.

She lifted her head slowly, looking up at you with something vulnerable in her smile. “Do you have any idea..” she said softly, brushing your cheek with her knuckles, “how fucking lucky I am to have you?”

You blinked up at her, cheeks flushed, lips parted, completely open under her touch.

“I’m serious.” she continued, her voice low and full of warmth, but there was that steel edge too, the kind only she had. “The things I’ve done…the places I’ve been… I never thought I’d get to feel like this. Like I could come home and be seen.”

You reached up, brushing her wrist. “Nat…”

But she shook her head slowly, smile softening. “No, baby. Let me say it. Let me tell you.” Her hand slipped down to your chest, right over your heart. “You make me feel like I’m still human. Like I’m allowed to love. And I will never stop showing you how much you mean to me.”

She leaned down, kissing you slow. Then she pulled back with a whisper. “I’ll be right back.”

You didn’t ask. You didn’t need to. The tone of her voice, the flicker in her eyes.. you already knew what was coming. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched her stand, tall, composed, and absolutely glowing. Her eyes never left yours, even as she crossed the room and disappeared into the closet.

Your heart thudded with every second she was gone. When she returned, your breath hitched. The strap was already buckled to her hips, sleek black, firm, heavy between her thighs. Her body moved with complete confidence, the outline of control.

But her eyes? Still full of adoration. Still yours. She stopped at the foot of the bed, looking down at you with a slow smile.

“Do you remember the safe word, baby?” she asked, voice low and even.

You nodded quickly. “Yes.”

She raised a brow. “Say it.”

“Widow.”

��Good girl.” Her smile deepened. “And you remember what to call me now?”

You swallowed, already trembling under her gaze. “Yes, Daddy.”

There was a pause. Then her chest rose, proud and slow, like hearing you say it lit something deep inside her. She crawled onto the bed with all the grace of a predator, slow, sure, towering over you on her hands and knees.

“That’s my good girl.” she murmured, leaning down to press a kiss to your collarbone, then another just below your jaw. “So polite for me.”

You were already squirming, thighs tense, your fingers fisting the sheets as you felt the press of the toy, just the tip, brush against your inner thigh. She didn’t even move it, didn’t thrust. Just let you feel the weight of it there. Present. Waiting.

You tensed automatically, back arching the moment it nudged just slightly closer. She noticed. Of course she did.

“Hey…” she cooed, voice dropping. “Relax for me. You’re okay, baby.”

She leaned down again, kissing your cheek, your neck, the corner of your mouth, all while her hips stilled, giving you time, grounding you. Her lips brushed yours and you started giggling, high and breathy, the tension cracking under her warmth.

“There she is.” Natasha smiled against your skin, kissing your grin. “That’s my girl.”

Her hand slid up your side, resting right under your breast as she nuzzled into your throat, sucking again, slower this time. Claiming you all over again.

“You’re gonna take me so good, aren’t you?” she whispered. “Like you always do.”

Your breath was warm against her lips, that giggle still echoing quietly between you as she smiled down at you, eyes soft, lashes heavy.

“You’re so cute when you get shy like that.” she whispered, her thumb brushing your bottom lip. “All nervous for me…when you know I’d never hurt you.”

“I know..” you breathed, nodding.

She dipped lower again, placing a kiss on the tip of your nose, and then another to your cheek, her body staying perfectly still above yours, but you could still feel her, the strap pressing just gently against your core. Waiting. Teasing.

She wasn’t in a rush. She never was when she got like this. “This is my favorite version of you.” she murmured against your skin. “Soft. Giggly. Mine.”

Your hands slid over her hips, fingers curling around the base of the harness, tentative, needy, and she shivered.

“You want Daddy to take care of you, baby?” she asked, lips against your ear now.

You nodded again, breath stuttering. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Mmm, good girl.” she whispered, and her praise felt like warm honey pouring into your chest. “So polite. You always know just what to say.”

She leaned back slightly, guiding the toy down between your legs with one hand, her other arm wrapping behind your back to pull you gently into her. The slow press of it against your folds made you inhale sharply, but she stilled again.

“Shh, easy. We’ve got all the time in the world.” she said softly. “Look at me.”

You blinked up at her, already glossy-eyed.

“Breathe..” she reminded you, kissing your forehead. “You don’t have to be strong with me, baby. You don’t have to pretend. I’ll do everything. You just have to be mine.”

Your heart fluttered so hard it almost hurt. She started rocking her hips, the tip gliding through your slick folds, just enough friction to make your back arch, but she kept her motions lazy, unhurried.

“You feel that, sweetheart?” she whispered, kissing the corner of your lips. “That’s how wet you are for me. Always so ready for Daddy.”

You whimpered, hands clutching her biceps, grounding yourself.

“I love when you get like this..” Natasha continued, her voice thick with warmth. “All needy and sweet. Letting me in like I’m the only thing that matters. Like I’m the only one who gets to see you like this.”

“You are..” you whispered.

That stopped her for a beat. Her eyes flicked over your face, so full of love it made your chest ache, and then she kissed you, hard, cupping the back of your head with her palm. Not possessive, just full. Like she wanted to pour herself into you with nothing held back.

“God, you’re perfect.” she breathed against your lips. “And you’re mine.”

Then, slowly, so slowly,, she pushed in. You gasped, back arching, but her arms were already around you, holding you tight. Her lips peppered kisses along your jaw, down your throat, murmuring through every inch she gave you.

“That’s it. That’s it, baby. Taking me so good.” she whispered. “Look at how well you’re doing.”

You moaned softly, overwhelmed by the stretch, the warmth, the way she watched you, like you were holy.

“I’ve got you.” she promised. “Daddy’s got you. Always.”

And as her hips stilled, buried deep inside you, she didn’t move right away. She just held you. Pressed her forehead to yours. Let you breathe. Let you feel everything.

Her hips rocked, slow, rhythmic, dragging the strap in and out with steady control. Not rushing. Never rushing. Just feeling.

And listening. Each soft whimper that spilled from your lips made her chest rise a little harder, her eyes fluttering shut as she nuzzled her face deeper into your neck.

You felt her lips brush your skin, not kissing now, just resting there, as if your warmth alone was enough to keep her tethered.

Then came the sound. You clenched around her. A quiet gasp broke from her throat, her rhythm hitching just once as she exhaled against your neck, eyes closing tight. “Fuck, baby…”

You whimpered again, high and needy, arms wrapped tight around her shoulders, grounding yourself in the way she moved, the way she filled you just right.

“N-Natasha…!”

Her head lifted slowly. One hand slid into your hair, not rough, just firm enough to guide your eyes to hers. Her expression was soft, but there was something dark and molten underneath, something that made your stomach twist with heat.

She kissed you. Then murmured low against your lips, “That’s not my name in here, baby.”

You swallowed hard, your whole body shivering as you whispered, “S-Sorry, Daddy…”

“There you go.” She smiled. “That’s my good girl.”

Her hips kept moving, slow, controlled thrusts, the toy stroking against that perfect spot inside you every time. It was dizzying. Hypnotic. Your bodies slick with heat and sweat, breaths tangled together, hearts thudding in unison.

And Natasha was feeling everything. Your sounds. Your breath catching in your throat. Your fingers clawing gently at her back. Your legs shaking, trying to stay open for her.

She kissed your shoulder, her lips trembling just barely as she exhaled. “I can feel you getting close..” she whispered. “You’re so tight around me, baby…”

You moaned, broken, almost sobbing, and she shuddered, her own body trembling against yours.

“You sound so beautiful..” she murmured. “You always do right before you cum…”

Natasha rocked her hips in that same perfect rhythm, slow, steady, deep, and every motion had your breath stuttering, your body curling tighter into hers. The toy filled you with a fullness that made your thighs tremble, but it was her body, her voice, her that was unraveling you.

You couldn’t stop clinging to her. One arm wrapped tightly around her neck, your face buried in the crook of it, breath warm and shaky against her skin. The other hand reached for her thigh, gripping there, desperate for something solid, something grounding as your pleasure began to crest.

“Daddy…” you whispered against her skin, breath catching. And she melted. Her voice dropped into something low and so full of love, it was barely a whisper. “Hold on, baby. I’ve got you.”

She shifted just slightly, her thighs steady, her body completely surrounding yours. Then she took your hand, the one clutching at her thigh, and gently laced her fingers through it, pressing it down to the bed.

Not pinning you, but holding you. Letting you know she was right there, that she wasn’t letting go.

“You’re so good for me, Y/n..” she murmured, lips brushing against your ear. “So pretty like this. My perfect girl.”

Then her free hand slipped between your bodies, finding your clit with practiced ease. She rubbed in soft, firm circles, matching the slow thrust of her hips. The pressure was just right, not overwhelming, but enough to send a pulse of heat spiraling through your core.

You whimpered hard, eyes squeezing shut, your whole body trembling. Natasha kissed your jaw, your temple, her fingers tightening just slightly around yours.

“You’re getting so close, baby.”

“Y-Yeah..!” you gasped, hips twitching, legs beginning to shake. “I- I can’t-”

“Yes, you can.” Her voice was soft but firm, right in your ear. “You’re safe. I’ve got you. Cum for me, sweetheart. Let go.”

And with her voice holding you, her body wrapped around you, her fingers coaxing you just right-

You broke. The orgasm crashed over you, full and hot and deep. Your moan spilled into her neck as your whole body shook, clenching around her with wave after wave of pleasure. You gripped her hand tight, your voice cracking, eyes wet with the sheer intensity of how deeply you felt everything.

Natasha stayed right there, moving you through it, never letting go. Kissing your cheek as she whispered, “That’s it, baby…that’s my girl… so proud of you…”

And when your body finally stilled, when the trembles slowed, she didn’t pull away. She just stayed. Pressed against you, forehead to forehead, still holding your hand like it was the most precious thing in the world.

Because to her..it was.

-

-

-

-

[quarterlifekitty]

Ok so this is a bit weird ignore it you want it but I’ve been looking up fertility awareness bc methods and they’re fine but quite intense??? Like getting a thermometer up there every morning as soon as you wake up, peeing into a cup and measuring levels with strips, keeping a chart/app updated with all the info, keeping a close eye on your slick’s texture etc

Anyways. Partners can be involved and help. And it feels like such a Price thing to do. Like I feel like he’d maybe be too involved. And that’s so hot

K running away byeeee

No! Come back! (Holds up glass slipper) I don’t even know your name!!

cw: medical

100% a Price thing to do. Like that man was probably giving you morning pussy inspections before you were even trying for a baby. Like. This dude owns a speculum.

He has a huge journal where he’s writing down everything. Internal and external temperature reads, PH levels, any swelling of your clit or cervix, the color and texture of your slick. He’s also recording your moods for signs of hormonal changes, your cravings, your fatigue, all of it. And of course the man’s gotta test your sensitivity. Obviously.

Also has detailed records of how many times you’ve had sex, the positions it was in, how many times each of you came, what the consistency/volume of it was like, how long you waited before standing or sitting upright. And he totally does that thing where he has you rock on your back with your legs tucked to encourage his spend to get where it needs to go. And he’s definitely plugging you.

Like, this man has done so much research that he’s gonna be arguing with your obygyn on shit lol.

Terrible meme I made under the cut

[twizzie-lairs]

My Darling, My Honey

Alastor X Fem!Reader (Part 3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Quick Notes:

This is when both reader/you and Alastor are both alive. (... we'll probably end up in hell later on btw so stay tuned...)

Reader is an artist/painter.

Part 3:

Shutting the door to your house, you slide down to the floor, back against the door. Your hands come up to your chest, clutching the fabric of your shirt, heart racing.

Looking around the room, you felt suffocated. Every inch of the wall had some reminder of your husband, paintings, photographs, newspaper clippings of every accomplishment and accolade of his. It made you want to tear your hair out.

A silent scream leaves your throat as tears run down your face. Silent crying was something you've mastered after all these years..

But never have you cried and broken down like this, with something giving you a glimmer of hope. That something was Alastor, he made you feel appreciated, you felt free when you were with him, like all your worries were washed away and you were helplessly in love.

With the realization that you were in love, your hands fell to the ground with a quiet thud. For too long had you suffered the control, the physical and mental abuse at the hands of your husband and your family that only saw you as a pawn- a means to an end for them.

The tears dried up as you sat there silently for hours till the sun rose, feeling like an empty husk of a human. It took you a long time before you could collect yourself.

Though you felt so weak, you had to go out and do some errands. Having to keep up the image of perfect housewife, after all.

With a vacant and empty look in your eyes, you left the house, barely presentable.

You didn't even know what you were going out for, but you'd find something, anything.

During your walk around town, looking for something to buy so you wouldn't go home empty-handed, an odd feeling and urge came over you to take a route home that you've never taken before.

The way you took this time was full of twists and turns, leading to many shady backstreets and alleyways.

One sign reading "Arabella's Apothecary" caught your eye, prompting you to enter.

The door opens with a chime, the shopkeeper giving you a smug smile, "Welcome in dear, how can I help ya this fine morn'?" You nervously tell her that you were just looking around.

The shopkeeper, who you found out was indeed Arabella, like the sign outside indicated, "You know, people don't just come in here for nothin'... Hun, I think we both know you're looking for a key to freedom."

Arabella's words shook you to your core, "A... key? T-to freedom?" You laugh nervously, wondering if this woman was a witch. But then it came to you, maybe you did need... something.

She laughed at your face, "Bwahaha, I can read you like an open book! I'm no witch, I just deal in... specialty medicines, you might say."

After a short conversation with Arabella, you find yourself in possession of some arsenic. This little powder was your freedom, and you thank your lucky stars that fate guided to this back alley hidden apothecary shop.

During the week of your husband's absence, you didn't visit Mimzy's bar at all, actually. You were planning your husband's demise. You had to be methodical, careful, every single minute detail needed to have a plan and a backup plan- including your escape and how you would remove yourself from suspicion of being involved in your husband's death.

When your husband opened the door, announcing his return, you felt a pit form in your stomach. The bile rose in the back of your throat at the thought of freedom being so close and yet so far.

According to your plan, your husband would be dead in the next couple of weeks. It would be hell to not visit Mimzy's bar in hopes of seeing Alastor again, but if everything went according to plan, you'd be free of your shackles. So two weeks, give or take a few days, was nothing compared to the near decade of pain you've had to endure.

There were a few close calls during this time, but your husband was just diagnosed with food poisoning each time until he was found dead at his desk at the office he worked at.

You had slowly poisoned him slowly and consistently enough to evade suspicion. You knew this much when the police came knocking on your door informing you that your husband was found dead. The gates holding back the flood were unlocked, and you crumpled to the floor crying. The police tried to console you, but little did they know that you secretly crying from being overjoyed at the news.

At the funeral, your family and in-laws looked at you with distaste and all they did was tell you to get out of their faces, telling you what a disappointment you were for failing as a wife to keep your husband happy and healthy.

That was all you needed to hear. You turned away from them and left town, not bothering to stop by your home. You left only with the clothes on your body, making your way to Mimzy's bar. If anyone was able to help you, it would be Mimzy, your only true friend in the world.

You get to Mimzy's bar a bit too early, sometime in the evening, as usually the bar only opens late at night. So Mimzy was prepared to ward off any suspicious people that could get the bar/speakeasy in trouble, but she rushed up to you immediately, fawning over you, seeing you in all-black funeral attire with puffy eyes, " (Y/N)! Darlin'!! What happened to you??"

Mimzy ushers you into her office, gives you a warm cup of tea and a blanket as she barrages you with more questions. You smile weakly at her and make her promise not to tell a soul, and she pinky promised that she would take your secrets to the grave. And she kindly offered for you to stay with her as long as you needed.

You took Mimzy up on her offer, but you offered to help out at the bar for as long as you did. It was the only way you would accept her generosity.

-> Part 4

[shimmershifts]

how to shift:

method 3: lack of awareness

sleep method gang, rise up. i'm serious. these methods involves reducing your awareness of this reality (or any other) to zero, or as close to zero as possible. This is a potentially prime state to trigger a shift. and by sleep method, i don't mean lucid dreams or SATS, or other partially aware states. i mean having a period of complete unawareness, like totally dreamless sleep, and then waking up in your DR.

this is completely different from the state of pure awareness by the way, because in the state of pure awareness you are aware. like, in pure awareness you have a full train of thought and total control. the absence of awareness is the opposite. it feels sort of like a "blip" where reality, time, and space passed you by and you were not aware of it. this absence of awareness during sleep is (in my experience) the most common cause of accidental or unintentional shifts, but you might be one of those who can trigger a shift to desired realities with this too.

sleeping is not the only way to get to the state of the lack of awareness. i'll cover a sleep method below, and a few other methods with tips and tools for how you might be able to use the state of lack of awareness to trigger a shift.

method 3(a):

sleep method

now, there are lots of sleep methods out there, some with complex routines and rituals, and some as simple as "go to sleep and hope to wake up in your DR." the sleep method here will be shimmer's sleep method, ie, if i want to use sleep as a shifting method, this is what i do! feel free to tweak or adjust the steps to suit yourself. i think of my method a lot like setting up dominoes, and then knocking the first one down right before i fall asleep. if all goes well, the dominoes will fall just so to trigger a shift to my DR while im totally asleep, and i'll simply wake up there.

step one: repetition

throughout the day, i want you to think about two things, a dozen times. 1) shifting, and 2) your DR. now, you probably already do this. you're a shifter, you're on shiftblr, you probably already think about shifting and your DR daily, so maybe try to change up the way you do it to increase the chances your brain is triggered to process that in your sleep. this step is also not necessarily about imagining shifting or daydreaming about your DR, though you can do that if you want to. it's about deliberately thinking about shifting, and your DR, at regular intervals. you don't need to do it constantly, but i'd recommend around a dozen times. this number is often recommended to those hoping to trigger a lucid dream, and the concept is the same: the more regularly you think about something while awake, the more likely you'll think about it while asleep too, as your brain processes those memories and thoughts while you sleep.

step two: saturation

do your usual bedtime routine, whatever it is. now, before you go to sleep, i want you to saturate your awareness (which is currently in your CR) with your DR. do this however you want, i do it in different ways each time, it's really best to pick something that feels natural to you. if it feels like homework or boring or stress, you're naturally averse to that, so pick a way you like. scroll your pinterest board, review your script, rewatch your show, imagine your DR, etc etc. the goal here is just to get your CR brain, and your awareness, to soak up thoughts and visuals and words about your DR.

step three: visualize

now you're laying in bed, about to go to sleep. i want you to create a short visualization sequence (remember, visualization does not just mean actually seeing images with your mind. think about it, pick other senses to visualize, monologue it in your mind, tell yourself about it, imagine it.) so, anyway, visualize yourself falling asleep in your CR, and then waking up in your DR. it should be a fairly short sequence, like you're visualizing about 10-30 seconds of time passing. think about how it feels to fall sleep here, and then how it feels to wake up there. pick one or two things about each moment to focus on. once you have this short sequence, repeat it about a dozen times. repeating this single, short sequence is key.

step four: domino

you decide what your domino is. as you're going to sleep, do something to trigger that "domino effect", and remember your goal is to fall asleep in your CR. so don't pick something that keeps you up. maybe get into a light meditative state (that's my preference,) maybe you like to repeat a mantra, maybe you want to get into hypnogogia for awhile, maybe you're a sleep paralysis enjoyer (i fear you, tbh). maybe you just roll over and fall asleep. whatever it is, remember your goal is to fall asleep, not to shift from that state, so don't stress yourself out or keep yourself up. everything you've done so far has been to prime your brain to trigger a shift during sleep, while you're not aware, so don't lay there waiting for the shift to happen or for signs of a shift. don't strain or agitate. the point is to not be aware of the shift when it happens!

step five: wake up in your DR.

if it didn't work, try again, or try a different method!

method 3(b):

meditation: "blipping out"

now, most of the time i see people talking about "blips" or "blinking out" or losing awareness or time when meditating, they see this as a mistake or mishap because it's happening while they are trying to get into a different meditative state, like pure awareness or focus 10 or something else. this method is ideal for anyone who this happens to, and it's a way you can use it instead of trying to work against it.

step one: visualize

before you meditate, i want you to create a short visualization sequence (remember, visualization does not just mean actually seeing images with your mind. think about it, pick other senses to visualize, monologue it in your mind, tell yourself about it, imagine it.) so, anyway, visualize yourself "blipping out" while meditating. how does it usually feel to come back to awareness? visualize that "coming back" moment happening as your DR self in your DR, instead of here. visualize "blipping out" here, and coming to awareness there. it should be a fairly short sequence, like you're visualizing about 10-30 seconds of time passing. pick one or two things about each moment to focus on. once you have this short sequence, repeat it about a dozen times. repeating this single, short sequence is key.

step two: blip out

whatever meditation or method you've used in the past that cause you to experience a "blip" in awareness, use that again. if it's never happened, try a few different ones until you find one that works for you. the last step was about priming your awareness to come "back" to your DR, so hopefully you do!

method 3(c):

severance method

the name is tongue-in-cheek, this could just as easily be called the adhd method, the trigger method, etc etc. this method doesn't require any meditation, or reaching a different state of awareness. the goal of this method is to hopefully catch your CR brain unawares, and trigger you (awareness) to shift when you (CR self) has forgotten to resist. if this method works for you, then you will shift while totally awake, and doing something entirely mundane in your CR, and potentially when you've forgotten entirely that it was even supposed to make you shift.

i think the severance show is a good way to humorously exemplify the goal of this method: to set a specific "trigger" (place, action, etc) to signal your awareness to shift. if you haven't seen it, in the show the characters awareness is triggered to switch to another identity when they descend or ascend the elevator into work. you can pick anything as your trigger, but personally i recommend picking something you do several times a day, up to a dozen times per day. you could pink something you do all the time, like blinking, but i think that could be strenuous to commit to or you'd end up forgetting to actually do the method each time.

step one: pick your "trigger"

this could be anything, but i'll list a few recommendations: every time you plug your phone in to charge, ever time you open the bathroom door, every time you sit down, every time you go up a set of stairs, every time you turn a light off, etc, etc. pick one that works for you.

step two: repetitive visualization

now, pick a time period. it could be a day, i'd recommend several days or a week. every single time you're about to do your trigger (ie, before you sit down, before you flip the light switch, etc) visualize yourself doing the trigger, and then becoming aware in your DR. create a short visualization sequence (remember, visualization does not just mean actually seeing images with your mind. think about it, pick other senses to visualize, monologue it in your mind, tell yourself about it, imagine it.) like you're visualizing about 10-30 seconds of time passing. pick one or two things about each moment to focus on. repeat it right before every time you do your trigger action.

step three: stop

now, hypothetically there's the chance you get triggered to shift just from step 2, but you don't necessarily go into it expecting that. as this is a lack of awareness method, the goal is to prime your brain and awareness, and then stop. after you pass your time window you set before (a day, a week, whatever) you don't have to visualize every time before you do your trigger action. hopefully, when you're not thinking about it, your awareness will be triggered to shift out of habit. if after a few days, a week, or whatever time period feels right to you you're never triggered to shift, then either try again, or try a different method!

troubleshooting:

similar methods: as you'll likely notice, the above methods have a lot of similarities. honestly, most shifting methods are very similar, and they are often quite similar to lucid dream methods, which are often quite similar to study methods, which are often quite similar to- you get the picture. the point is, the things we can do to trigger our brains to remember and do something we're not consciously fully aware of are often quite similar.

not working? try adding some of your own tweaks, mix up a few methods, or add some other tools. check out this post on what triggers a shift for ideas for what to add, and how.

[rip-aizawa]

what would have happened in leviathan

actually, i may as well type this up now, since if i say "eh i'll do it later" it'll probably never happen at this point, so.

like i've said in many posts, i don't know a lot of what would have Specifically Happened in leviathan. i started writing it with no plan, and only decided to come up with concrete things as time went on. most of what i wrote down has been lost to time and digital decay; i no longer have access to the high school onenotes and sketchbooks i planned a lot in. but i still remember some things, even now. so let's discuss.

THE DEAL WITH BIT: bit was "retro's kid". he'd been kidnapped at a young age to be used as a living battery for retro's inventions, which he would use for, well, villainous purposes. bit had discovered an ability to override inventions he was powering. retro had wanted bit back to see his full capabilities. literally... i think the next chapter of the fic would have been shigaraki settling debts, and sending kurogiri to kidnap bit. izuku would have jumped through the portal after him, getting both of them captured. kurogiri, in a hurry and frustrated, would have ended up giving them both over to retro, then leaving. the subsequent sequence would have involved izuku panicking and accidentally revealing to bit that he was the leviathan. bit would have said that he'd known, or at least suspected. they'd then later team up to take down retro, with izuku forced to re-awaken the parts of the leviathan he'd been surpressing. bit would have served as... something of an anchor for the rest of the story. the only person who knew, but bizarrely (to izuku), didn't blame him for any of it. this would have been a point of contention between them, at times.

sometime after this, blade (who lost an arm to the leviathan) would have been released from the hospital. he would have gone to the league of villains to share his discovery that izuku was the leviathan, startling them. all for one would have found this incredibly interesting and decidede to observe izuku closely going forward before making a move. (shigaraki and kurogiri are pissed. they JUST HAD HIM. and they gave him to RETRO, who FUCKED IT UP.)

UA SPORTS FESTIVAL

really the only thing i remember about this was that izuku was effectively immune to shinsou's quirk. his constant mental battle made him essentially a psychological brick wall; he could shrug shinsou off like it was nothing, to shinsou's frustration.

he would have allowed shinsou to mind control him during the actual SF fight round, losing early on. he'd never really properly explain why to shinsou, frustrating him. i think shinsou ends up being the one to fight todoroki and them having A Moment? because izuku is really not the one for like. the evil quirk conversation, ha. todoroki comes to some revelations about his quirk and his personhood, but still lets shinsou win to stick it to his dad. this is... kind of bad for shinsou's plan of not showing people how his quirk works, but he's 14 and riding that attention high for all it's worth.

INTERNSHIPS / VS STAIN ARC

don't remember like. most of this. but izuku would have interned with ryuko tatsuma (the dragon shapeshifter lady) in hopes that her quirk worked a little like his, but would have come up empty. he would have been in hosu for the attacks, and joined iida and todoroki in taking down stain. that fight would have been pretty brutal, with stain fascinated by izuku. he'd give his whole who deserves to be a hero spiel, which izuku would have torn to shreds, ending with the lines,

"but above all, there's on reason i know that your method of choosing who deserves to be a hero is wrong." "and why is that?" "you chose me."

^ taken from ye olden discord beta chat.

FOREST TRAINING ARC

i think this was where the mall sequence was? regardless, at the mall, shinsou is approached by shigaraki, who would grin at him and say some incomprehensible things about him being a "god tamer" and "friend to the most powerful monster in the world". he'd mention this later to midoriya, which sends him into a paranoia spiral.

and then there's all the forest training stuff, izuku is incredibly off-kilter the whole time and kind of manic, and of couuuurse he would have been the one targeted by the league of villains and kidnapped out from under everyone's noses. they panic.

after getting everyone (that they have) home, and contacting authorities (including my lovely naomasa <3 miss you baby) they would have gotten a video call from an unknown number. all for one would have spoken to them all directly, before cutting to a video feed of izuku in an enormous cell, where he would have been forced to activate his quirk, revealing him to be the leviathan to UA staff and some authorities. all for one would have thanked the heroes kindly for holding him for a while, and said that he'll take it from here.

all for one would then have taken the leviathan quirk from izuku. however, when he'd attempt to use it himself, he'd find it only a mild shapeshifting quirk; the ability to turn a little lizard-y and cough some sparks, but nothing more. out of fascination, he'd give the quirk back to izuku, and find the usual monster awaiting. he'd take and give izuku various different quirks, and find all of them effectively superpowered out of control. fascinated, he'd leave izuku with the leviathan quirk and send his scientists in to do some tests.

the following revelation would be twofold. all for one's scientists would discover that izuku's body was constantly maintaining a high density of [insert chemical here]-- the same active ingredient in the drug trigger. inko midoriya would also reveal to someone (maybe an undercover operative?) that she'd been a victim of the trigger attacks (from BNHA Vigilantes, which I loved at the time, ha) while she was pregnant with izuku. the effects of trigger on a pregnant person had never been even considered, let alone documented. the result was a child with a permanently trigger-ified quirk that went out of control the second it manifested. they tell izuku this and he's like ...oh.

HIDEOUT RAID ARC

the heroes are obviously assembling to raid afo's hideout POSTHASTE, with the heavy awareness of Just How Badly This Could Go hanging heavy over their heads. like canon, the kids also decide to go help and rescue izuku, joined by bit! who is laughingly Extremely Wary about the whole thing, and kind of vaguely implying that they should be ready for something bad. they yell at him for being a pessimist. he stays quiet.

i don't remember exactly how this went in canon but the opening at least would be similar enough to that. Big Fight, kids manage to rescue izuku, whatever. then they look up, and afo is kind of mopping all might.

izuku would have tried to run back into the fray. shinsou would gone after him to stop him, but izuku would have shaken him off, revealed himself to be the leviathan (with the air of a goodbye), and gone full-transformation. this would have revealed his identity to shinsou and his other ua friends, with bit there to explain a little bit to try and calm them down.

izuku, working together with the leviathan for the first time and thus able to actually kind of control himself, would have been able to work together with all might to just fucking smash afo. battle of the gods, in a way. all for one would have died here (at all might's hands. no more grief for the kiddo.) and izuku ends a fight conscious and in control of himself, for once.

after everything, izuku is taken into custody (bit is VOCALLY against this but overridden) and placed in a holding cell with quirk suppressants (which is weirdly nice! it shouldn't be! but it is!) where he talks to naomasa. he comes clean about everything, including what he's learned about the permanent trigger enhancement. naomasa is APPALLED, and is like, sorry? you've been on trigger constantly since you were four? and izuku's like yyyeaahhh haha. and naomasa is ... frankly horrified, by all of it, but promises to get him help.

and they do! izuku goes on quirk suppressants, since there's no real... trigger suppressant in existence, yet (they have to play with the dosage a bit). they also kind of realize "the leviathan" (the one in izuku's head) is... basically how his brain has learned to conceptualize what's happening to him. and even then, the leviathan isn't evil; it's just overwhelmed, in pain, and scared. izuku comes to terms with all of this, which combined with the medication, makes it possible for him to comfortable control his quirk for the first time in his life.

he tells his mom everything, she's horrified, they cry about it. he tells his friends everything, they forgive him. he talks to bit. he even talks to blade in jail, i think. but he goes forward with an actual support system, and does end up being the underground hero he always wanted to be, with a focus on kids and people with "out of control" quirks who people want to write off.

misc emotional beats:

shinsou would have assumed izuku's repression of the leviathan (post USJ) to be an attempt to stop reminding them about the leviathan; he would have told izuku off for beating himself up for having a "villanous quirk", said some flowery stuff about self-perception, and told him that he was nothing like the leviathan. ouch.

while the story would have been gen, izuku and shinsou would have gotten a lot closer. i was (and honestly? still am!) a big shindeku fan and think they have a fun dynamic, in canon and aus. this would have been interesting, because it would have led to a lot of miscommunication irt izuku trying to hold shinsou at arm's length because of his leviathan guilt, and shinsou not understanding why. maybe they could have had a big fight about it right before izuku gets kidnapped during the training camp arc.

izuku would have gotten closer with iida and uraraka as well, explored some of their issues/ todoroki.... maybe? i'm not sure. i have terminal "gets annoyed by the most popular ship in a fandom" disease, so i was never a huge tododeku guy. but they probably could have had something interesting.

i think izuku and naomasa were also supposed to talk a little more? since naomasa was one of the people present at OG leviathan incident, their relationship was meaningful. also i just really like naomasa, as people may remember.

i legit have no idea what would have happened with bakugou. i didn't really... care about him, then? and i don't really now (though i'm much more ambivalent than i used to be lol). he might have gotten some occasional beats of self-reflection, but i wasn't ever really that interested in giving him a Big Coming Around Arc. i do in retrospect think I could have; putting him in 1-B set up an interesting situation for him to be with the """"lesser"""" crowd and learn to see them as people, and himself as one, too.

mirio gets all for one, most likely. or kirishima, or something. maybe he offers it to izuku, but izuku is like HELL NOOOO. sorry. no thank you.

and... that's that. it's weird to write all this out. this is actually the first time i've ever seen it all laid out. there's probably some stuff i'm forgetting, and maybe i'll come back and update later, but this is fine for now.

this story... was never meant to be about anything, really. i just started writing it because i wanted to write a bnha fanfic, and i liked quirk!izuku aus. all impulse, all just vibes. i still think it's not necessarily a Big Meaningful Message. but i was talking to people the other night about stuff, and realized something, kind of. when i was writing all of this, I had no idea. but in the time since, i've been diagnosed with a mild-ish form of psychosis and OCD.

so... make of that what you will.

thank you everyone, as ever, for reading, and i hope this brings you... closure? that sounds so much more important than it is, ha! the answer to a mystery, maybe. and maybe some day i'll find the motivation to actually write it as it would have been.

[22ayla21]

Family Gathering of the Knowers

When Anaxa's wife complains that the only thing missing from their home is a scientist cat, she is immediately corrected - even the cat in this family is involved in science.

Anaxa sat in his usual chair, slowly sipping the tea he had prepared himself, since "no one in this house could brew it properly." There was a stack of books on the table in front of him, but he didn't even try to look at them today. He had other entertainment.

- You don't understand anything! - the eldest daughter exclaimed indignantly, folding her arms over her chest. - The texts carved on the ruins of the Western Amphitheater cannot be deciphered using traditional linguistics! They are an archaic form of symbols that convey not a literal meaning, but a concept!

- This is nonsense! - the youngest leaned hotly on the table. - Concepts are abstractions! I am sure that they can be translated using the usual method of comparative analysis!

- Ha! Then why has no scientist done it yet?!

- Because they do not have my genius!

Anaxa raised the cup to his lips with a slight smile. For the first time in a long time, he felt completely satisfied. Both his daughters were smart, daring, and intolerant of stupidity. Just like him. The only person at the table who did not share this enthusiasm was his wife. She sat opposite him, her head in her hand, and looked at her daughters as if fate had played a cruel joke on her.

- Why did this happen to me? - she moaned, looking at the ceiling. - The whole house is made up of scientists. Even the tea is probably brewed according to scientific formulas.

- Don't exaggerate, dear, - Anaxa put his cup on the saucer and looked at her with a soft smile. - You just have a subtle perception of reality.

- I have a subtle nervous system, - she corrected.

- Stop it, you like it when we think about the nature of the world, don't you? - she slowly turned her gaze to him.

- Think - yes. But when it happens at dinner, at breakfast, during a walk, when I sleep, when I’m not sleeping… I don’t want the cat to be a scientist!

At that moment, a disgruntled "Mrrr!" was heard from the windowsill. The wife slowly turned her head towards the source of the sound. Anaxa's cat was sitting on the windowsill - a fluffy black animal with icy eyes, who looked at her with disdain, as if offended by such a statement. Anaxa nodded calmly to the cat.

- You see, even he agrees that you are talking nonsense.

- That's it. Enough, - the wife closed her eyes tiredly. Anaxa, smiling, touched her hand.

- You are just jealous, because you do not have such amazing abilities for knowledge as we do, - she snorted quietly.

- You know, it seems to me that the only thing I got from you is patience.

- And excellent taste in men, - he added calmly, sipping his tea.

The wife rolled her eyes, and their daughters continued their furious scientific argument, not paying any attention to their parents. Anaxa bowed his head slightly, watching them.

- But admit it, you're proud of them, - she sighed, looked at her daughters and, smiling slightly, shrugged.

- Of course, I'm proud... But I'm scared to imagine what will happen if they grow up and find husbands, - Anaxa thought for a second.

- Then we'll drink tea and watch them trample their husbands into the ground with logic.

- You're calming me down, of course, in a strange way.

- Just enjoy it, my dear. It's not every day that you get to see the birth of great minds.

And, taking another sip of tea, he noted with satisfaction that the younger one had finally found a loophole in the older one's arguments. Ah, how wonderful it is to watch the evolution of knowledge.

[d3wdropz]

Brothers AU! Sukuna Fluff Headcanons: Yuji crushing on Sukuna's s/o

Summary: Things with Sukuna have been going good, you're both happy and it's about time that you meet his family. The only issue is that Sukuna didn't take into account that his younger brother might take a liking to you too.

Warnings: no curses! au, fluff, swearing, some mention of deceased parents, sukuna being sukuna, hopefully that's it

Gender neutral! Reader

Lovely divider from @benkeibear !

♡- When you and Sukuna first got involved with each other, it was nothing serious. There was an understanding that you both just wanted to have fun with no commitment

♡ - This set up worked just fine- for a while

♡ - At some point, you both stopped seeing other people and became exclusive, spent more time together just talking and bonding

♡ - This is when Sukuna realizes he needs to have an important conversation with you, he's never been this into a relationship before, but he knows that he has some baggage that you should know about

♡ - On your end, you're just about ready to say 'i love you'- it's been a few months of messing around and about half of that was you both falling for each other.

♡ - So when you two are hanging out it's obvious that you both have something on your minds, it's not ruining the mood just an obvious need to talk

♡ - You both hold it off until the end of the night when you're in his car and he's dropping you off. Before you leave you give him a kiss and end up just leaning on his shoulder

♡ - It's the perfect moment to tell him, something out of a movie- so you look into his eyes and see just how soft he's become for you. Sukuna's not the type to show his love through words, even physical affection is hard for him- so he depends on small gestures; the love in his eyes, how softly he holds your hand, remembering your favorite foods and filling up your gas tank

♡ - Sukuna's thinking about just how much he wants to be with you for the rest of his life, and that means he can't keep important things from you. It's one of the few times that he's nervous, what he's about to tell you could be a deal breaker

♡ - You smile as Sukuna closes his eyes as you both speak up

♡ - "I love you/ I've got a kid"

♡ - While Sukuna is blanking at what you said, you're chewing him out

♡ - "Sukuna, wtf? You have a kid? When? With who? Where is it???" You are so confused and a little upset- this is something you can't just throw out there

♡ - When he comes back from his thoughts, he takes the time to explain everything to you

♡ - Turns out he in fact, does NOT have a child- rather he helps raise his younger brother, Yuji with their grandpa. Sukuna opens up about how their parents died when he was 10 and Yuji was just 3, that he's been helping take care of him ever since

♡ - Sukuna explains that, while Yuji is in their grandpa's custody, he's old and can't do much- so Sukuna stepped up and handles most of the responsibilities: helps with rent, cleaning, food, but mostly Yuji

♡ - It's a lot to take in, probably the most he's told you since he met you so it's your turn to be shocked

♡ - He leans back in his seat and sighs, "Listen- I get if that's a deal breaker- shit, it would be for me"

♡ - You take in the info dump before you realize just what he said at the end and you have no choice but to massage your temples, "Sukuna, babe, what the fuck?"

♡ - At that, Sukuna gives you a frustrated look before you keep talking

♡ - "First off, that was a lot to process- don't get me wrong, I'm happy you opened up to me, but damn you could've picked a better way or method or something" you sigh and grab his face "Thank you for telling me that... and no that's not a deal breaker- you're stuck with me, you moron"

♡ - The relief he feels is unimaginable, like a weight just got lifted off his entire body. Instead of saying anything, he just leans into your hands and sighs- you know just how relieved he is

♡- With that out of the way, you both go back to normal for the next few days- until you bring up Yuji

♡- "So, when am I gonna meet him?" This time you're both lounging at your place, he's in the kitchen making something while you're picking out a movie

♡- Sukuna's a little surprised before he responds "Well shit, didn't think you'd wanna meet the brat so soon." He's bringing the food over as he sits down next to you so you can both make a plan

♡ - The next day Sukuna picks you up and gives you a whole warning speech in the car: "Listen, Gramps can be an asshole, but he really does care. He'll like you, so you should be fine. Yuji's a nice kid, but he can act real immature sometimes so don't expect much from him."

♡ - By the time you make it to his place- a two bedroom apartment- you're dizzy from all the info he just gave you, again. It leaves you a little nervous as you walk up to the door and wait for him to unlock it

♡ - "Yuji, Gramps- we're here!" You take off your shoes and look around- the place is quite clean, something probably influenced by Sukuna and his high set standards. You notice an elderly man sitting in a rocking chair- Gramps you assume

♡- He looks over at you two and starts grumbling to Sukuna, "I'm right here you hellion, don't have to yell" Gramps' eyes soften just a little bit as he sees you before moving back to his grandson for an explanation

♡- Sukuna rolls his eyes and wraps his arm around your shoulders "Hello to you too- Gramps, this is Y/n, they're my partner"

♡- There's a soft smile on Gramps' face as he stands up to shake your hand "This is the first time the kid's brought someone home, nice to meet you." You two click instantly and get to talking

♡ - While this leaves Sukuna pretty happy, he's still got one more thing left to handle, "Hey Gramps, where's the brat?"

♡ - The elder of the two huffs "Who raised you to be so rude- he's in his room sleeping, you punk"

♡ - "The hell you mean 'he's sleeping'? It's almost noon he's got school tomorrow" Sukuna storms off down a hall and you hear a door slam open

♡- Gramps can tell you're a little on edge as he waves it off "That's just how he is with his brother- he can be hard on him but that's how he loves- sometimes the kid needs it"

♡ - Just a minute goes by before Sukuna comes back pulling a miniature version of himself with him- without the tattoos, height, and muscles they could be twins. Sukuna's tearing into him about how he 'needs to grow up and stop binge watching those damn worm movies'

♡ - Yuji's still half asleep as he pulls his arm free and complains about Sukuna being a meat-head, until he sees a random person in the living room "Wait- who's that?"

♡ - Sukuna massages the bridge of his nose and gestures to you "That's my s/o, Y/n- be nice and don't say some dumb shit"

♡- When you shake hands you can't help but gush over him, Yuji was like a mini Sukuna, just cuter and more soft "Hi there, Yuji- it's so nice to finally meet you!"

♡- Yuji can't help but enjoy the softness of your hand, how nice your voice sounds, how gentle you smile at him. It takes Sukuna smacking the back of his head to respond "Oh! Uh- nice to meet you too!"

♡ - Just like with Gramps, you click with Yuji instantly as he goes on and on about movies he likes, his friends at school- it's really sweet and you listen to it all

♡ - Sukuna sits himself next to Gramps on the couch and lets himself relax, the most important people in his life are getting along

♡ - The rest of the day goes great- Gramps shows you baby pictures that you gush over and Yuji seems to be glued to your side, you could be wrong but Sukuna seems a bit jealous that your attention's taken

♡ - Sukuna makes dinner but it's still the same, Yuji takes the seat next to you and Gramps talks everyone's ear off. When it's time for you to leave Yuji's like a kicked puppy until you promise to come back next week

♡ - As your boyfriend drives you home, you tell him how sweet his family is and start making plans to visit again. Sukuna's quiet though, just giving short responses until he kisses you good bye

♡ - "I'm serious, Sukuna- I'm really happy you let me meet them" you're hopping out of the car as he walks you to your door

♡ - This breaks him out of his thoughts as he squeezes your hand and gives you a small smile, "Yea, had to eventually- now go get some sleep, you work at 9 tomorrow"

♡ - When Sukuna gets home Gramps is passed out on his chair with the TV still on, it's not too late so he knows Yuji is still up and he needs to talk to the little brat

♡ - Just as he thought, his little brother is eating chips on the bed and watching some weird horror movie- that is until Sukuna steps in front of the TV and crosses his arms

♡ - "Hey! It was just getting good-"

♡ - Sukuna interrupts him by leaning down and snatching the chips, making Yuji jump "Listen, ya little shit, I saw what you were doing and don't even think about it- one: they're too old for you, two: they're mine so just drop it"

♡ - Yuji's cheeks turn pink "It's nothing, Sukuna! They're just really nice"

♡ - At that the older of the two turns to leave the room, "It better be nothing, brat" Sukuna leaves the room and mumbles one last thing "Cause you're in deep shit if it isn't"

a/n shit this took me forever! sorry- i experienced the worst writers block ever over the past few months! hopefully i'll have more energy and time to write, hope yall like this!

[sapphire-weapon]

Do you guys want to know what my actual theory is for RE9? Like my actual, real, no-foolies theory for RE9?

I don't think Leon and Grace have any real connection at all.

RE9 is very clearly heavily inspired by the first The Evil Within game, to the point of almost looking like it's a spiritual successor. If you've never played TEW, the long-and-short of it is:

The main character (Sebastian) is a detective, and so was his wife (Myra). Myra was investigating missing person's cases that she believed were linked to a serial killer, and she also thought that there was some kind of conspiracy attached to it. She got too close to figuring out the truth, so the Bad Guys(TM) set fire to her house, killing her (and Seb's) tiny daughter. Myra then became obsessed over finding out the truth of what happened and, as a result, just disappeared one day. Sebastian went kind of nuts with grief and tried to pick up the pieces of her investigation, eventually stumbling over the truth that the PD was involved in the whole thing (not just the fire, but also the serial killer cover-up -- it's a whole thing and I'll spare you the details), and the game picks up shortly after he was released from probation due to "abuse of power" by investigating his fellow officers and put back on the scene. And "the scene" ended up being a furthering of the conspiracy, as the Bad Guys(TM) try to remove and erase him.

I think we're going to see something similar going on with Leon and the government in RE9.

ID, RE6, Vendetta, and DI spent a lot of time building up and establishing Leon's discomfort and disagreement with the government, their methods, and their motivations. DI finally says the quiet part out loud when Dylan declares that the government are the ones perpetuating the endless cycle of enabling BOW research and trading -> outbreak -> clean-up -> cover-up -> enabling more BOW research and trading -> outbreak, etc.

I think that the FBI is behind Alyssa's murder, and they're setting up Grace to fail/get captured/die as well -- and all of that is probably linked to the Daylight vaccine from Outbreak.

And I think that Leon is going to enter the scene because he, like Sebastian, has been doing his own private internal investigation on the side into the very organization that he's been working for his whole life, and he's going to stumble on the FBI's plot.

The fact that Grace and Leon end up in Raccoon City at the same time is going to be incidental -- Grace is there because she was sent there because the FBI is corrupt, and Leon is there because he's already been investigating this shit all along.

That's it. That's going to be the whole thing. We're going to learn the depths to which the government has been involved with the researching, manufacturing, and trading of BOWs, and Leon's going to clean all of that up and take all of that down. And Grace is there because she's Unlucky, but she's going to help out in really invaluable ways, which will inevitably lead Leon to pass the torch to her and feel safe in his ability to retire because he knows that the country and the world will be in good hands with Grace.

That's my real, honest, no-foolies prediction and theory for what RE9 is going to be.

[windvexer]

@thegodwhocums in response to your post for anon!

First Anon, huge props for seeking sobriety and I understand your desire to stay on anon. Trance state and altered states of consciousness can be totally accomplished during sobriety, without the need to use any substances (including milder 'flying ointments').

Here are just my tips and resources coming the context of Traditional Witchcraft:

First, definitely look up brain wave states :) Trance is a measured brainwave thing, right. And we know how different brain states feel. So you should start by researching the expected sensations and mental states associated with entering trance! Don't leave yourself in the dark.

In Traditional Witchcraft there are close parallels between trance state and spirit flight (or 'hedge crossing'), because spirit flight is undertaken in a trance state. Therefore any guide you find that teaches spirit flight/hedge crossing (and even generic 'astral travel') is probably on some level also a guide to induce trance state.

Many such guides specifically for spirit flight encourage finding trance state through rhythm and meditation, as opposed to ecstatic movement; this is of course because spirit flight is usually undertaken while the body is physically at rest.

Don't take meditation to mean zen meditation of clearing the mind. Rather in this context it's a paradox of relaxed focus, like the cat waiting at the gopher hole.

Entering a relaxed trance state is greatly facilitated by sonic drivers, which are rhythmic sounds (like drumming or chanting) that carry the 'pulse' you ride on towards trance state (youtube ""shamanic drumming"" to find great audio tracks). This rhythm is especially well accomplished through careful counting of the breath (look up 'breath work', not to be confused with breath play; deep and rhythmic breathing, even without hyperventilating or limiting oxygen, can help rapidly induce trance).

Guided meditations themselves can be a powerful way to experiment with trance states. Seek out relaxing meditations that involve systematically relaxing the body, especially ones that combine counting down. But these can be completely secular guided meditations for relaxation on youtube, you don't have to find one necessarily written for 'trance state', although many exist.

Especially with spirit flight, entering trance state very often is accompanied by counting down to descend into the underworld or fairyland. Very common meditations (which do not have to be visual in nature) involve taking your consciousness downwards through a tree, down a well, or to the bottom of a lake. You can combine this with counting, counted breath, sonic drivers, and progressive relaxation to achieve deep trance states.

For example, you can record a meditation for yourself (or just remember the steps) wherein you become physically relaxed (sitting or lying down), and count your breaths (in/hold/out/hold of equal lengths; not limiting oxygen). Every time you take three complete breaths, you imagine taking one additional step into a lake. As the water rises up around your body, you focus on relaxing that part of the body. It takes 13 steps (39 breaths) to completely submerse yourself in this imagined lake, and when you do you see a door at the bottom of the lake. You go through it with the knowledge that it will return you to your body within a full trance state. All the while, you can have on a rhythmic drumming track.

A meditation such as this one may need to be practiced several times, but if you get along with the method of relaxed trance, it's the kind of thing that can really take people in.

Other hints are to block the vision to partial or full darkness, to always burn an incense of the same scent (or daub an EO nearby, etc), to always use the same audio track, and especially to always use the same charm or prayer to begin the session.

But a full relaxed meditation can put people to sleep or be a struggle if you have focus issues. Try using a technique like Horne's 'awakening the second sight' exercises in A Broom at Midnight (which I extremely recommend for those interested in the intersection of trance and witchcraft). This technique is to sit in a dark room with a single lit candle and focus on your 'second skin' until it feels like it awakens and comes alive.

If you have a lot of space, trance can be induced more ecstatically by 'treading the mill' or casting a circle by running, walking, or dancing around the circle; you can also dance or run to enter an altered state. I have arthritis and no experience with these things so I couldn't comment further.

Any technique you like will take time to get right. Asking your gods or spirits to help you enter trance is extremely useful, they can sort of 'carry' you into trance (or dunk you underwater, so to speak).

At first, expect to only enter a shallow trance, especially if you can't do extended and deeper exercises. Entering a deep trance may take 30 minutes, or an hour, or a significant period of time. With experience, you may be able to enter shallow trance states very rapidly, but deep trance typically always takes some amount of effort.

Before you enter any trance state you should have a list of things to do to exit trance state and readjust. These are simple things that include envisioning your second skin perfectly aligned with your physical skin, wiggling your fingers and toes, doing psychological grounding (name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, etc), eating food and drinking water, turning on the lights, turning off all sonic drivers (and eliminating incense or other scent triggers), turning on the television or grounding music, and talking to people.

Just have a list of things to do that are very within your comfort zone.

Trance isn't dangerous; people enter trance and flow states all of the time. But knowing the process can be under your control can feel a little unsettling and destabilizing, so it's always a good idea to plan to fill your space back up with good and grounded vibes before you begin. Just as often as you practice entering trance, you should practice intentionally exiting trance and returning to an everyday state of mind. You should be able to do so on purpose and when you choose to.

The only caution I have is if you find yourself entering trance states unexpectedly or when it's not safe to do so, such as when you're driving. If this happens I encourage you to stop practicing trancework for a while, and examine your practices for a lack of clear triggers (like sounds, scents, sights, chants or incantations, etc). If your triggers are too generic or aren't clearly established at all, you may be at a higher risk of accidentally training yourself to slip into a trance state when it's unwise or dangerous given the circumstances. In addition, some people may not necessarily be able to safely practice trance on a regular basis without falling into this - we all have unique minds, after all.

Besides that Horne book above, check out Crooked Path by Kelden which has a few exercises for entering trance state.

[apollabarnes]

part two

thanks to @beanarie and @fiyaerrigan for cheerleading for more — hopefully this scratches that itch!

tommy's not sure how it happens, but he and athena start grabbing food once a week. sometimes it's dinner, sometimes breakfast, rarely it's lunch. they're both shift workers, so the changing schedule doesn't bother him.

it means that he has to keep going to the meetings, but… it's not so bad. if he talks, he talks around evan, because athena is close to evan and there's some things that she probably doesn't want to know. it's not as if he doesn't have a whole lifetime's worth of bad relationships to talk about.

he doesn't mention abby by name, either — that's a whole confusing mess that he just doesn't want to get into it with a member of evan's extended family.

mostly he listens, remembers, tries to use some of the reframing that they suggest.

"my dad was a real shithead," tommy says one night when he's halfway through a stack of waffles. "joining the army was just a way to get away from him."

athena makes an understanding noise, snapping her bacon in half.

they've both learned that if she talks, tommy's likely to clam up and drop the subject.

"he wrapped the car around a tree three years into my deployment," tommy continues. there had been a whole thing involving bereavement leave and a hardship transfer stateside because his mom couldn't cope afterwards. he doesn't like remembering that part, either. "it's probably the best thing he ever did with his life." tommy's still not sure whether he means killing himself or doing it in a way that meant no one else got hurt. the damage was limited to tommy and his mother, but that's been a hell of a shadow to deal with.

"i've met a few of those," athena says, after a pause to make sure tommy didn't want to add anything else.

"i'm not surprised." tommy methodically cuts a waffle along every raised imprint, popping a square into his mouth.

it's kind of like having a sponsor, he guesses. if that was something the family groups actually did. athena tells tommy how may's classes are going, that harry wants to stick around for college after he graduates. she tells him about a fire at an animal shelter that bobby had dealt with, and that buck — evan — had fostered a dog for a few days.

tommy wonders how that worked. evan had told him about hoover one night over dinner.

athena pauses mid-sentence and tommy stops her from apologising. "i can hear his name, it's fine." he's not sure how to explain that he's managed to… silo off evan from buck. evan is his ex. buck is one of athena's coworkers. hearing about buck doesn't make tommy sad, because he never really spent time with buck.

she gives him what he's dubbed the maurice stare. (he saw it a lot in the six months between bobby arriving and transferring to harbour. sees it more now.) but tommy is unflappable and therefore not bothered by it.

the standoff is broken by her phone buzzing. "that's my ride," athena tells him. "my car's in for service."

"i could have given you a ride," tommy offers before he can think better of it. "you didn't have to call an uber."

"that's cute, but i called my husband."

tommy breathes in. doesn't react. can feel the tension coiling around the base of his spine. "tell bobby…"

"he's not coming in, tommy," athena reassures him. "i told him i was grabbing food with someone from work."

tommy thinks about that. they're not in front of the windows, and his back is towards the door. the chances of bobby seeing or recognizing him are definitely lower than they would be if tommy showed up in his truck to drop athena off. and if bobby looks around the parking lot, well, how many grey trucks are in los angeles?

he'd still prefer the drop-off option.

"it's not like you need to keep this a secret," tommy says instead, even though every fiber of his being is screaming that he doesn't want anyone to know. that he doesn't want bobby, specifically, to know, because once he knows it's only a matter of time before the rest of the firehouse finds out.

"of course i don't, tommy. same time next week."

part one // part three

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

The Scientific Method

Pairing: Moonknight trio x Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: just a bunch of ritual things, there's mention of blood and reader cuts their hand open

Genre: angst/fluff

Summary: They are determined to go through with this mind link and you have to do everything in your power to protect them

***

You groan to yourself as you shut yet another old heavy grimoire. The more you try to research this dammed ritual the more you feel like your head this close to exploding. You're overwhelmed trying to sort through conflicting information, unclear instructions, and a seemingly never-ending list of cautions. Several times over the last few hours you debated if it'd be easier to change their minds than go through with this. The knock at your apartment door shocks you so much you practically jump out of your skin. With a sigh, you stand from your desk and walk to the door. When you open the door you barely register your boyfriend standing there, your eyes trying to recover from combing over walls of text all day.

"Hello love." Steven smiles at you.

"Hi baby, what brings you over?" You ask stretching.

"It's movie night." He frowns.

"Right! Shit, is it time already?" You shake your head.

"How could you forget?" He chuckles.

"Well someone wants so badly to risk their sanity I've been doing research all day to protect this silly individual. Lost track of time I guess."

"You've been doing research on it?"

"Of course I have. If I'm going to do this insanely dangerous ritual I need to know it so well you'd think I was there upon its creation." You say.

"What have you found out?" He asks.

"I'm sitll sifting through it, there's possibly a potion involved-"

"Well you can put a pin in it for now, because it's movie night." Steven grabs you by the shoulders and leads you to your couch to sit you down.

"I'm just worried there's some time sensitivity aspect I'm missing. Something this complex probably requires very specific circumstances in order to have even a chance of being successful. Like what if it can only be done during a solar eclipes, or when all the fucking planets are aligned or-"

"Baby you don't have to work it out all at once, we're not in a rush, plus we trust you. I don't think you have anything to worry about." Steven says gently.

"That's fine for you, I'm the one performing the ritual you just have to show up, I'm the one responsible for making sure you don't die or lose your mind or lose a limb or-"

"Breathe." Marc says grabbing your hand. You stop and take a breath.

"Marc-"

"Don't start, and don't get yourself all worked up. It's like you don't even realize how powerful you are. You're not going to kill me, or drive me insane, or steal my arms. We will absolutely come out on the other side of this for the better." Marc says firmly.

"When did you get all optimistic?" You chuckle.

"When you showed up and gave me something worth living for." He says kissing your temple.

"You're such a softie." You scoff.

"Yeah yeah, now let's get this movie night started, you can research the spell later."

"Alright alright. I'll table it for now." You sigh letting Marc pull you closer to him as he starts the first movie for tonight.

*~*

You draw the last of the symbols on the ground, checking them for the umpteenth time that you got them all correct. You drove hours out of the city to prepare and do this spell. Marc is meant to meet you any minute now, but you've already been here a while getting all the bits and pieces together. You read your notes again, as if you haven't seared them into your brain at this point, but it helps you feel in control. You've done all the research you could possibly do without having a first hand account of doing this spell. You're as ready as you can be, you know you are, but there's just so much that could go wrong it's impossible not to be nervous.

"The pacing does not bode well for your sanity." The booming voice almost makes you drop your pages.

"Holy fuck- you brought the bird?!" You clutch your chest when you realize your boyfriend has arrived and so has Khonshu.

"I am not some pet he does not bring me anywhere. He is my Avatar, if you intend to disintegrate his mind it's in my personal interests to be aware of that." Khonshu says.

"I'm not disintegrating anything you kooky old skeleton but if you insist on being here do not interrupt." You roll your eyes.

"Even if it saves him from your incompetence?"

"Marc may work for you but I don't you fucking-"

"Khonshu don't speak to her that way." Jake interrupts. "We didn't tell you about this so you could come all this way just to insult her. She's powerful and capable and we have faith in her. Your opinion on the matter is not only unwanted, it is also unfound." You look between them as Jake's words hang in the air for a moment. 

"You hold her in high regard." Khonshu hums.

"You knew that already." Jake glares.

"To see it is a different thing."

"Are you two done?" You ask.

"Sorry mi amor, I told them to leave Khonshu in the dark but no one listens to me. How are you feeling?" Jake takes your hand in his, eyes scanning your face.

"Fine. Good. As good as I can be. Everything's set. How're you guys?" You ask.

"Steven's a little nervous."

"Just Steven?" You probe softly.

"Sí just Steven. Marc is, impatient and I am, managing our expectations."

"As always." You kiss his cheek.

"Are you two quite finished with the- whatever this is?" Khonshu scoffs and you're sure if he had eyes to roll he'd probably be doing that.

"Oh I'm sorry did you mistake us for a theater show? We're not here to entertain you." You roll your eyes. You walk over to your bag and pull out a small bottle. "Drink this."

"What's this?" Jake asks.

"Step one."

"Which does what?" His eyebrow cocks up at you.

"Makes you more susceptible to the magic of the spell so it's easier." You say, that's not exactly right but the full explanation would be far too much to break down and you need to focus on getting through this not giving a potions lesson. Jake downs the murky liquid and cringes slightly. It probably doesn't taste great based on the ingredients. "Stand in the center where all the lines meet."

"How should I stand?" He asks.

"Still." You mutter walking over to your bag for your ritual dagger.

"What?"

"You asked how you should stand. Stand still." You say.

"Amor?" Jake calls, making you look up from your recitation pages. "Te amo."

"I love you too." You say. You take a deep breath to steady yourself. It's now or never.

"Ich baln kikae fineir shel cae ganel ufnae oulm antae woom bae." The circle starts to shimmer in that familiar but unnatural way that's so custom of magic. You twirl the ritual knife once in your hand before slicing open your palm. A spell meant to bind you and another person in any way almost always requires blood.

"Ich Maie fanie rach el aer wol nihar welm intalm axo tanit shway." One hard squeeze of your hand drops blood on the first of the seven symbols that make up the points of the circle. The symbol lights up and the corresponding line follows and shines from end to end.

"Baint int quare yeel fren smer worsh ufer dal krei lut isht." More blood on symbol 2 lighting it and its line.

"Pahb arth e rinethow finae ni shabnida." Your hand is starting to hurt but you squeeze blood onto the third symbol and watch it join the first 2 in brightening the circle.

"Inae fuu raunk valum dae chaw ji prosh shay zila trof renda ishan." You watch the fourth symbol light up and move on to the next.

"Urf nae inst purn wolay kirna ru gant verin herab vins tae." Five down, two more to go.

"Ich shie bruy pir exun bakiyen wishor itarm kastey." Onto the last one.

"Intraey izarnit wor bint azun oxair yerin jiha geins." The last of the symbols lights up, and you walk over to Jake in the center. You tip his head back and squeeze blood into his mouth.

"Mierda! You didn't mention anything about-" Jake doesn't finish his sentence, he drops to the ground and you gasp.

"I imagine that wasn't supposed to happen. Was it?" Khonshu muses. You roll your eyes you wish he'd shut up but at least the irritation overrode the panic bubbling. You take a deep breath and recite the last bit of the spell. It won't do you any good to leave the circuit incomplete, an unfinished spell could do more damage to Jake than whatever's already going on.

"Rahg inth der minshea loun weemae zontho ich baln kikae fineir." With the final incantation complete you watch as the spell circle burns brighter and brighter until all the symbols seemingly drain towards the center, disappearing one after the other as if Jake's body is absorbing them.

"Is it over?" Khonshu asks.

"Well the spell circle... disappeared so- I guess?"

"He's still unconscious."

"Gee hadn't noticed." You roll your eyes.

"There has to be something you can do about this you did the spell."

"Just pick him up off the ground." You say packing up your spell items.

"Why would I do that?"

"That spell wasn't easy, I don't have the strength to pick him up but it's not like we can just leave him out here overnight." You cross your arms.

"I am not carrying him all the way into town." Khonshu says.

"Why would you do that? Did you walk here?" You ask.

"The British one doesn't have a car."

"Sure but Jake does."

"Jake didn't want to have to leave the car here if something happened." Khonshu says.

"Whatever, I drove. You just need to get him to my car." You say.

"And what if I don't?"

"If you don't he spends the night out here." You shrug grabbing your bag of things and trudging away from the clearing.

"Well- hang on!" Khonshu huffs. A few moments later you hear his heavy footfalls behind you. "Would you really have left your boyfriend laying in a field unprotected."

"Of course not, the field had a bunch of defensive spells in place." You scoff.

"Why didn't you say that!?"

"I knew you wouldn't call my bluff." You say opening your car and tossing your bag in the passenger seat. "Drop him in the back please." You open the backseat door and help Khonshu fold your boyfriend across the seats.

"You had better hope they all survive your odd experimentation."

"It was their idea you foolis- you know what, it doesn't matter what you say, you have no right to pretend you value their life beyond how you can use them like a puppet of course I hope they survive I tried to talk them all out of this like 5 times. Stubborn fools." You shake your head.

"So what happens now?"

"Now I take him home and we hope for the best." You shrug getting into your car. You drive home, anxious to get your boyfriend home so you can start looking for some way to reverse this or at least help in some way.

Back at your apartment you struggle to get the body up to your place. Luckily it's incredibly late already or you'd probably have to explain this to more than just the person frowning at you from behind the front desk when you walked in. Once in the safety of your own apartment, you take a deep breath as you look at Marc passed out in your guest room.

"I don't want to get to say I told you so but you had better give me a chance to yell at you for being an idiot. You owe me that. Please wake up, you're far too stubborn to die like this. It'd be a rather pathetic way to go, given all the shit that didn't take you out." You huff. You feel so restless, you need to shower and you know you need to sleep because it's been a long and exhausting day but there's no way you'll get any rest with your boyfriend passed out indefinitely in the other room, all you want to do is sit up sifting through grimoires until the answer jumps out at you from one of the pages, you can't just leave him like that and not do anything-

"Stop." You say to yourself, hoping to stall your racing thoughts for a moment. "Okay, strategize. Realistically if you try to comb through your grimoires and things right now your eyes will literally fall out bleeding you have done entirely too much today even if you found the answer you wouldn't have the strength to do anything with it. He's physically safe and while you can't possibly know what's going on internally that'll have to be enough for now because you can't save him if you don't take care of yourself. Let's shower and try to get some sleep and we can approach this with a fresh mind in the morning."

With an acceptable game plan officially vocalized you take one more deep breath and clap your hands once to center yourself. Your shower helps tremendously which you knew it would but sometimes it's hard to regulate when so much is going on at once. You put on lotion and your pajamas and check on the trio once more before forcing yourself to go to bed. Hopefully you can get some sleep and maybe start problem solving this whole nightmare in the morning.

***

A/N: So sorry it took so long to get here my mind is a labrynth and my life has been a tornado lately, it's getting calm so what else would you like to see from this series?

Tagged Users: @itsmskeisha @auntiegigi @neteyamsluvts @a-lil-bit-nuts @i-love-sammwiches @chaosgoblinreblogsthings

[kiwicopia]

🔪🔪🔪for aizen

🔞 MDNI | Aizen x GN!Reader (HCs) 🔞

TW: Yandere themes, stalking, manipulation, blackmail, blood & gore, reader put into a dangerous situation, possessiveness & jealousy, bodily harm, reader is referred as Darling.

This man is already terrifying without the added obsession, but with it? He's quite possibly one of THE most dangerous people out there now. Unless you can catch the red flags early on to do something about it, which would be futile anyway, you will never know this man's obsession with you until it's too late.

Everything he does is now centered around you and how he'll eventually get you to be his. All of his plans involving you are methodical, and he sticks to each and every little step without ever straying away from it.

It starts out with stalking, which he's incredibly good at doing. Whether or not you're able to sense him won't matter due to the fact that's he's a master at concealing his spiritual pressure. Doing so allows him to watch your every move so that he knows what you like and dislike, who you're close with, who/what you care about the most, etc. It's all a part of him knowing what he can use against you, if necessary.

His obsession with you brings forth immense amounts of jealousy with him. Gods forbid you spend your time with anyone, let alone any man that isn't him. He's not above killing anyone, as it's part of his plan to try and isolate you so that he can have you, and it doesn't hurt him at all when you're suddenly upset about the sudden disappearance/death of a friend or family member. He'd honestly get jealous over a pet as well, but he probably wouldn't kill it and would most likely threaten to so that you fall in line.

Aizen is definitely not above putting you into dangerous situations so that he can come to your rescue. He'll purposely send low-ranked arrancars to attack you, and he'll watch for a minute or two before he comes to your aid. He can't let his Darling get hurt, can he? At least not too badly, that is.

He understands your fear for him, but he honestly doesn't care. What he doesn't understand is the fact that you're ungrateful for his assistance. Should he have just let you meet your death at the hands of his arrancars? Absolutely not. It's not a part of his plan, and neither was the entire act of you struggling to come to terms that you belong to him now. Can't you see that?

No matter, he has a few tricks up his sleeves. He's quite the master of manipulation, so that's his main tactic to use on you, however, if that doesn't work, then he can always blackmail you. "Darling," he coos, "you wouldn't want to see me angry, would you? You wouldn't want to see everything and everyone you care for to just disappear, right?" He says it in a way that makes you wonder if he's joking or not, but considering everything he's already done, you know he's not messing around.

If all else fails, then he won't hesitate to harm you. Obviously, he won't hurt you too badly. He can't do that to his sweet Darling. Maybe just breaking a leg or both of them. You can't move around with broken legs, can you? Don't worry, he'll take care of you. He's all you need, anyway.