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jjuwuni · 3 years ago

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caught in his web ; choi yeonjun (𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖)

pairings — yeonjun x afab reader

genre — smut (lots of it so minors dni please), fluff, angst, college!au, friends to lovers, drama

word count (for this preview) — 1.7k

summary — You thought you’d be immune to Choi Yeonjun's charms, turns out you were completely, utterly, shamefully wrong.

And what’s worse? He’s your new best friend's boyfriend.

Wanna hear something even worse than that? His dad and your mom are dating.

MOA University: An educational institution created for the 1%. The elite of the elites. Those who are to inherit large multinational companies, take oath in office, and represent Korea's future in business and politics. This is where it begins.

warnings — almost-stepbro!yeonjun but not really since your parents are in the early stages of dating, kinda slow burn yes, black haired!yeonjun, bad boy yeonjun, all of you are trust fund babies, all the tubatu's make a cameo and are in the same friend group, might reference some other 4th gen idols, alcohol, drinking, drunken mishaps, lots of sex, profanity - lots of it, yeonjun is a menace but he's so cute wtf i'm screaming, jealousy, making out etc. minors dni istg! i'm watching y'all..

A/N: hello! i'm new to the TXT scenario / fanfic scene. i don't have a taglist or anything yet. :( but please let me know if you'd like to be tagged as this story progresses!

————-　★　-———— . ————-　★　-————

You are a walking paradox. That’s the only way to describe you.

You like attention, yet you're not all too fond of crowds and socializing. You love to find a quiet place to read with a good book in hand, but you enjoy partying with your friends just as much. You dream of finding your prince someday, and yet you're too independent to ever let someone in.

“y/n, would you please be a dear and put that damn book down? People are coming at any minute and it really would be a buzzkill to see someone huddled up at the corner of the room with a book on her lap when it’s supposed to be a raging party.” Chaewon’s words ever so gracefully rolled off her tongue.

You stood up to your feet and sauntered across the huge living room that doubled as tonight’s party space, putting the Haruki Murakami book in your purse.

It was Chaewon’s house- or should you say, mansion after all. So whatever she says, goes.

You and Chaewon have been friends since the Freshmen year of University started. Not that it had been too long ago, since you're just in your sophomore year. Nevertheless, you found a lot of similarities in her. Not because of wealth, but because she also has her inner demons, and that you both understand what it means to put up a front to society.

Because in the elite circle that you operate in - it’s easy to be judged.

Your mom is a famous model turned fashion designer, with about twenty-plus years of experience in the business. Once she started out as a new model, her career didn't take long to skyrocket. Today, your family owns about a hundred clothing stores worldwide, as your mom’s high-end fashion label became that of a global empire.

It’s still surreal to you, how she was able to single-handedly do that. Given that your birth father packed and left even before you were born. But unlike other newly single moms, your mom didn’t struggle financially- thanks to her talent and creative vision in fashion and of course, your wealthy grandparent's financial support.

Fast forward to the present time and you now find yourself studying in one of the most prestigious Universities in Seoul - MOA University. Here, there’s a known stigma that all the rich kids, the socialites, and CEO’s-to-be are to be enrolled in the institution.

And so this is where you find yourself now.

Your best friend Chaewon on the other hand is who one would describe as the Paris Hilton of your generation, wherein she’s expected to inherit a large chain of hotels when she’s of a certain age.

*ding dong*

As the doorbell rang and bodies began to trickle in the large estate, you found yourself sitting on one of the bar stools in the bar area outside by the pool, deciding to relocate there as it was getting stuffy in the living room area, already ordering a cocktail for yourself. It was a school night, but as soon as you’re invited by the Kim Chaewon to a party, you go. Simple as that. This is why you weren't surprised when the whole area was filled with MOA-U students within a matter of minutes.

“y/n!” A familiar voice called out for you from behind, making you swivel your bar stool to face the source of the noise.

“Soobin oppa!” You chimed upon verifying who it was from, opening your arms out to hug him as he returned it with no hesitation.

“What are you doing here alone? I saw the others back there..” He said as he took a seat beside you on the bar. He was pertaining to your other friends apart from Chaewon - meaning Yeji, Jimin and Minjeong- all daughters of CEO’s and Chairman’s as well.

Soobin’s group of friends can be described as the male version of yours, and so, you just naturally got along and gravitated toward one another as a group. “Ah yes,” I finally respond, “I wasn’t all up to party today, you know? Just.. Not in the mood today for it. So I retreated here.”

His cute childish grin shows, “Ah I get you.”

“Who all came with you today, oppa?”

Soobin looked back over his shoulder, nodding his head towards the other side of the pool where the lounge chairs happened to be situated. “Oh, you know the usual, Jjunie, Beomgyu, etc. The others are hitting up a bar first before going here, mm.”

You look over to where he was pointing at and saw his friends mingling with yours. Naturally, Chaewon and the guy he referred to as Jjunie (also known as Yeonjun) were caught in a liplock already.

You grimace, not really wanting to witness your friends’ make-out session at that point- you just weren't drunk enough.

“Ah, getting it on already huh?” Soobin was always the joker, as he managed to make the both of you laugh and return to sipping on your cocktails.

“Well can you blame them? The real estate mogul’s son and the heiress to the chain of the Kim hotels? It’s like a match made in heaven.” You couldn’t help but snicker, as Soobin did the same.

“Hey our families match too don’t you think? Since you know, your mom is a fashion legend and my parents own a broadcasting company isn’t it- just- no? No?” He asked repeatedly in a teasing manner while you shook your head jokingly.

“Oppa, no, stop.” I could barely voice my words out as you are caught in a fit of giggles. “Ah, you are so funny.”

“So what are we laughing about? Hm~?” A voice suddenly interjected your little conversation, as simultaneously you feel an arm wrap over the back of your neck.

“Hey Yeonjun, ah, nothing… We were just talking about how our parents should really set us up and let us date already.” Soobin said as the older male’s head popped in between yours and his, with his arms hooked over both your necks.

“Well, that’s only if, y/n allows you to. But I don’t think she will since she’s known to be really picky, right y/n?” Yeonjun’s smirk was present- it was the same one that has all the girls of MOA-U drooling over him, and Chaewon was no exception.

To you though, he was someone whom you saw as a complete opposite in terms of personality and outlook, and so you were never really completely friendly with each other. Sometimes, you would even find yourself putting up a wall, only because he intimidated you at times and you know he is nothing but bad news.

You could only manage to laugh, as you take a sip from your margarita. It’s no secret that Soobin has always had a thing for you, and though you do welcome the thought of dating, you're much too focused on other things at this point in time.

“Jjun, I need you. Now.” Chaewon’s voice bellowed from behind, effectively making the male break apart from you and Soobin.

“So, wanna dance?” Soobin asked as soon as there were no other bystanders around, of course, you readily agreed. Might as well enjoy the night, you tell yourself. Grabbing his hand and leading him back into the makeshift dance floor in the living room.

You two join the rest of the party-goers in the middle of the dance floor, with Soobin holding you from behind - arms wrapped around your waist securely as you both move to the rhythm of whatever EDM track was booming through the speakers. You allowed yourself to bask in the moment and have fun, closing your eyes and letting the music take over.

Though you couldn't help but feel this unexplainable weight on your shoulders, almost as if you were being watched the whole time.

————-　★　-————

“At what time did you get back home, honey?” Your mom peers up from her morning paper, as she stares across you from the long white-marbled dining table the next morning.

The smell of bacon, bread, and all sorts of pastries filled the dining room area, servants were busy doing their own thing behind the dining area by the kitchen.

You glance back up from your bowl of oatmeal and to your mother, “Hm? Ah I don’t know, around one maybe.”

“Hm.” She pursed her perfectly shaped lips but said nothing else.

Your mother didn’t look a day over thirty. As a matter of fact, you’ve always been mistaken to be sisters, and not as a mother-daughter tandem. She was also quite lenient with you as well, which is something a lot of teenage girls would like.

But if you were to be asked, she was all too lenient.

“Come home by dinner today, k? I have someone I want to introduce to you.”

Your eyebrows quirk upwards at the words that came out of your mother’s mouth. Rolling your eyes as if you already knew what this is all about. “Oh, mom. Another one, really? This one better be good. The last one was okay, but I feel like he was trying so hard to be my dad, you know? It was so uncomfortable.”

“He was a Prince, sweetheart. A royal prince! I couldn’t say no.”

Another exasperated sigh left your lips, your mom and her revolving door of men. “Well let’s hope you pick better this time. But okay, I’ll be home after I hit the library after school, promise. Tell the driver to pick me up at six.”

————-　★　-————

“So you can’t come tonight?” Yeji asked as you walk down the halls of MOA-U to your last period. “I was hoping you would though. Chaewon said she can’t come either since Yeonjun isn’t coming. I think he said he has some family affair to go to.”

“Well you know those two,” You cast a knowing look over to your friend, crossing your index and middle finger together tightly, “Like two peas in a pod.” Another laugh follows suit from the both of you, “I’m really sorry Yej, I promised my mom I’d be home by dinnertime… Hmm, how about this, I’ll go visit your art gallery tomorrow morning first thing, okay?” You reassure her, holding onto her arm and nodding vigorously.

“Ugh, fiiiiine! You better make it up to me, y/n!” Yeji answered with a pout.

“Oh I will, promise!”

————-　★　-————

As you stride down the hallway leading up to the dining hall in your house that night, you could already hear a few voices coming in from there, it sounded like whoever was in there was having a good conversation.

You could pick out your mom's familiar voice, but also two others who seemed to be males.

“I’m home..” You call out, placing your small bag atop one of the wooden tables and walk into the actual area where the dining table was situated.

What greeted you as soon as you looked up was something you would have never expected.

You were caught by surprise, seeing such a familiar face there. Your jaw on the floor and standing motionless at the guy sitting in one of the plush dining set chairs. It was obvious that he was trying his hardest not to laugh, almost as if he predicted that this would be your reaction to him.

“Y-you… you…” You muster out, index finger shakily pointing towards Yeonjun.

“Ah honey, you’re here... “ Your mother, ignoring the horror and utter shock in your face, remarked. “I’d like you to meet my new boyfriend, Choi Minjun and of course, you know his son… I heard you and Yeonjun even have the same friends in school! Ah! Isn’t this great? Just, splendid.”

You stand there almost like an iceberg, frozen in place and unwavering, mouth hanging agape while the bad boy of MOA-U is loving every second of it.

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chemicalarospec · 5 years ago

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Genuinely Don’t Say Anything Interesting Here But I Like Talking So Thus I’m Posting This

okay I did like nothing productive today but have a ramble on youtube fanbases, specifically the new gen of mcyt. This was two posts and then I made it one so sorry when I repeat myself. I did edit it tho lol. But that means I also inserted more, so this is just all over the place now.

me from the future: oh god. all over the place. wait wtf this is so long. I don’t even have much to say I just like writing the same sentence three different ways and refusing to cut any of them. I’m sorry; I don’t know how to edit; this is informal AF. (can I use three semicolons? at least one of those is wrong anyways lol.)

edit: I’m so sorry I forgot about having a “read more” last night laksjdflksjad. Also idk if I even agree with myself lmao.

it’s so funny how mcyt is like The Thing now. It’s not cool to like it anymore lol, cuz everybody does. (This is a me thing. I like being special lol. I also self-define “cool” so you should not take it to heart when I say it’s not cool.)

I mean, just thinking about the Dream SMP as something I *do* want to get into, it doesn’t feel like “our thing” -- it’s has the feel of a HUGE fandom. Seriously, I’m in the phandom, which ngl has been dead since 2018, and the fanbase for the SMP has a much different, bigger feel. Idk what i’m getting at, it feels imposing? looking at the Dream SMP fandom seems similar in scope and slightly in atmosphere to pre-2019 phandom, at least to me, and it’s actually making me grateful that I joined now and not all that time ago.

Also I brought up the “our thing” bit because of the mcr post that goes “funny how MCR seems like our little secret and the biggest thing in the world at the same time” and I kinda thought that was just how all fandoms worked? idk I was going to assert that the truth is different but I thought some more and now I’m not sure.

but yeah I like the “our little secret” feel and somehow the phandom has (re)gained that while technoblade (and the new gen of mcyt as a whole) is loosing it.

I mean, I’ve been watching Technoblade since the bedwars winstreak. He had less than a millions subs but most people I brought him up to actually did know who he was. He was big but he wasn’t *famous* -- we all knew about him and we all cared. Like the only person who knew who he was and didn’t care had a little brother(s?) that loved him (wait why is this all in past tense this is all still true). (Yes AFC this has become a callout post for you mocking techno lol.) (If you’re still reading my miNeCRaFT yOuTuBeR fAnBaSe MEta. cringe culture is dead tho; I don’t have to say it like that.)

Anyways, I didn’t follow Technoblade’s Dream SMP streams and now I feel like I’d just be tagging along if I did get into it. (also didn’t watch SMP Earth lol.) This is because I’m a gate-keeping jerk. Or hate missing out. One of those two things.

(awkward transition where I don’t know how to make my tangent meaningful and have to make it back to the original train of thought I violently interrupted)

As a long time Techno fan, I’m really proud of the growth he’s experiencing, but a little sad too as the community is being -- well, I don’t want to say “infiltrated,” as I don’t want to shade anyone who was simply late to the party -- perhaps diluted? overwhelmed? yeah, overwhelmed by newer fans, and becoming “unmanageable” in a sense; it feels like we’ve lost a bit of our sense of community with the influx of new fans -- no shade to any new fans! This is just the way fandoms work. When the crowd is larger, it becomes harder recognize each member as a person, even if everything else is the same. (”The death of one man is a tragedy, the death of millions is a statistic.”) (look this is how my brain works deal with it)

I just really like this small community feel, and it’s a bit daunting looking at the smp fandom.

Also the growth Dream experienced this year is genuinely ludicrous. I mean, the wide appeal of shipping is part of it, not going to beat around that bush, but there’s just so much and I wanna read an essay from a long-time fan who saw it on why he’s got so much growth.

I really hate to shame fans and stuff, but part of it, at least for me, is that most of these new fans probably aren’t “minecrafters” like we were. I doubt the majority of them grew up on Stampy, DanTDM, and whatever the other ones I didn’t watch were. I mean, some of this is because Child. For them, the distinction is really pre-quarantine post-quarantine i guess? Really, whether they played Minecraft or not. Again, I know it’s bad to shame fans, but apparently I’m just a terrible person and I feel like it’s more shallow or disingenuous to get into MCYT when it’s popular without already being into Minecraft.

WAIT that’s it -- Minecraft community, as a whole, is special. It’s a LARGE umbrella of fandoms in general, but that’s the thing: they’re all more communities than fandoms -- from the casual builders to the pro parkour players to those who watched the og youtubers to those who followed the Great Potato War, there was Minecraft Culture.

And the expanded fandom that’s sprung up around the Dream SMP and possibly Dream in general (???) is more of fandom. It feels like a fandom. People treat it like a fandom, they talk about it in fandom spaces, it is fandom, a modern fandom. Not a quaint “little” Minecraft community.

I’m not going to say it’s because of the shipping, but... I have no data but at least I can say that it certainly creates an appeal for Fandom People as opposed to Minecraft People. And then also it’s just a fandom thing so it makes the space more fandom.

Also I realized this is all based upon a feeling, so where did the feeling come from? I was reading in-fandom texts a lot today, and I think the storyline actually might have something to do with it. Also maybe the “talking behind their backs”? I can’t be bothered to remember what I’m comparing to what at this point but that’s definitely done in a lot of other spaces I’m in, so idk.

OH FRICK I’ve mostly been *in* the fandom spaces for real things lmao. (Read: I’m 100% making up everything at this point.)

(awkward transition because I inserted the last two paragraphs later on)

And really, I played minecraft today for the first time in months. But it’s still with me, you know? The memories of being introduced to it, growing up with it. Going to the Nether with my cousins, my uncle’s giant survival mode cathedral. Mojang being bought by Microsoft and everybody hating it. (... me, my brother, my two friends, essentially... how did we even know??)

[I had part about the minecraft.net writers here but it was completely unrelated so it became it’s own post. I should do that more.]

(With every sentence the target audience of this post gets smaller.)

What was I saying? I’ll just wrap up.

TL;DR: Dream SMP fandom feels like a fandom and not a Minecraft community and while that’s not necessarily a bad thing, I’ve realized I prefer a community feel, which makes me grateful I joined the phandom now. Also I shouldn’t be allowed to post things past 9:00pm.

Oh my god I’m so sorry to all my mutrals. My tired loquacious reflex has kicked in. This is essentially a dan and phil stan blog, and though I know a few of you know what I’m going on about, I’m so sorry to the rest of you.

Well, at least *I* think I’m a fascinating person with interesting things to say hahahahha.

This is like a diary post. Should I post this? Yeah, other people should share my thoughts lol. OH NO: Late-night Tumblr fandom ramble posts are the new social-justice tirade/generally useless blog-like Goodreads reviews. At least it’s what Tumblr’s made for :P.

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bbq-hawks-wings · 5 years ago

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BBQ gripes about fanon Hawks

Not even gonna put this in the character tags aside from the spoiler one I use just for the anime-onlies on my blog. I'm salty. I just wanna vent. I want to keep the general character tags fun because it was awful when I went looking for new content and found so much Not Fun material a while back; and I don’t want to become what I hate. Basic point - my blog, my vent, and unless it’s reblogged (which you are welcome to if you like) this post dies here.

Please know this isn't a callout post or me claiming that others are being fans of Hawks "wrong" because they disagree with me. I am a huge proponent that (with very few exceptions) fiction and fandom should be free to be enjoyed, reinterpreted, or otherwise indulged in however the individual fan prefers; and if I don't like it, I let them have their space and go do my thing elsewhere and leave them alone (hence why this not going in character tags). I just have been annoyed with the rampant mangling of Hawks' canon personality/characterization - that is, confusing common fanon interpretations of him with how he’s actually written/portrayed and then getting angry (like, actually-angry-spilling-into-publicly-dragging-real-people, not just disappointed) when he acts like canon Hawks in canon. Non-canon is open season and by and large has my blessing, it’s just frustrating when it gets dragged into discussions about the manga.

This has been going on a long time, but I just want to get it out of my system in my personal space. All this is, is my "Overthinking Tumblr blogger Shakes Fist at Cloud" moment.

#1 Hawks is a sociopath/unempathetic.

I just... I... You can't be reading the same manga I am if you genuinely come to this conclusion about who he is in canon. A man with nothing to gain by looking like this when considering the depths of the suffering inflicted on others that he bears some amount of responsibility in...

...cannot be called unempathetic.

"But he killed Twice and Best Jeanist!"

Twofold counterargument to this one, starting with BJ - we don't actually know he's dead. There's a body, there's a disappearance, and we have no idea wtf happened, but we also don't know wtf happened. It's drastically ooc for Hawks to murder someone in cold blood. For someone who places emphasis on speed specifically "because when two sides keep fighting and won’t give up, someone eventually has to die" it makes no sense for him to not have had a plan and simply ambush a man in his own home - this goes doubly since he was in contact with the HSPC and had time to "premeditate" anyway.

And as for Twice: Hawks ran out of options. He wanted to detain Twice and keep him from escaping and helping the MLA. He was able to do so when alone, but the moment Dabi cornered him Hawks had a choice to make - probably die in the fight and let Jin go or make absolute certain he can’t and still probably end up dying because he's in bad shape and still probably won't make it out of this, regardless. I don't need to harp on this - it's been said a couple different times now by several people. Even in 266 when Dabi initially ambushes Hawks, Hawks thinks to himself that he’ll carry Jin out of the building to keep himself and Jin safe before Twice retaliated and Dabi literally forces Hawks into a corner.

Jin's loss was a blow, but the chips on the table being wagered are human lives, not feelings. Up until that point, Hawks did everything he could despite the weight of his decision. Human life is human life, and Jin’s life isn’t more important than the may more who will be saved by quashing the MLA’s revolution. Simply equating “could kill someone” with “unempathetic” is fundamentally flawed, and mistaking someone who is pushed to kill despite every attempt to avoid it as unempathetic and even sociopathic has missed the point to the extreme - the mere fact he avoided lethal force for so long alone proves he possesses empathy.

#2 Hawks is a compulsive liar.

He is a good liar, but he does not like lying. He does twist the truth, but always when forced to keep a secret. Even then, his lies are predominantly spun from truth and omitted details instead of outright fabrications. He doesn’t gaslight, and he doesn’t make up stories/details if he can help it.

When Hawks told Endeavor his dreams for the future, that was the truth. When he told him he thought he was cool at the hero billboards, that was the truth. When he tells Tokoyami to focus on his strengths instead of merely covering his weaknesses to be a better hero, that was the truth. When Tokoyami asks Hawks for his weakness and even why he took him on as an intern in the beginning just to ignore him, he tells him the truth. When he tells Jin he "doesn't belong in a cage" and that he considers him a good person, that was the truth. When he recognizes he’s profoundly wounded Jin for deceiving him for months, he tells Jin the truth. When confronted by Dabi and he doesn’t need to lie anymore in this fight to the death, he tells him the truth despite not actually needing to in hopes to learn the truth behind Dabi and Shigaraki.

I don't have a better segue, so I'll just mention that a lot of folks who believe this also believe the next point.

#3 Hawks is unapologetically emotionally manipulative.

The context makes a huge difference and we need to look at when and why he manipulates others as well as the fact that he does.

At the hero billboards, Hawks plays the heroes on stage as well as the crowd. He's trying to shift the mindset of, "oh yeah, just another hero ranking" to "wake up, mf's, things are changing and you better be ready to change, too!" Rocking the boat is a huge no-no in Japan. Despite being part of his “persona” there is still real social risk involved with this move but one that he deems necessary to turn heads and get gears turning. This is not just an elaborate ploy to get under Endeavor’s skin, but an effort to reach a wider audience while he has them captive.

He does use the public crowd around him and Endeavor before the Hood fight as an excuse for its appearance, but the original intent was to mentally prepare Endeavor for what was potentially (and proved to be) the fight of his life without outright telling him so he could maintain his undercover status. When he realizes he’s part of the reason for Endeavor’s permanent scar and life-threatening injuries, he feels remorse.

He lies to Jin to get information out of him, but linking back to #2, when calls Jin a good person and offers him a way out, he’s telling the truth. He does feel guilt for having to manipulate an otherwise well-meaning person and betraying them, especially given his long-running history of being used and the ongoing issues he suffers from because of it.

When he meets up again with Endeavor to drop his clues about the League’s movements, he squirms when he realizes the interns don’t know him well enough to know he’s blowing smoke because he does NOT want these kids to actually buy what he’s selling. This espionage mission is hard to navigate, and he has to tread carefully lest he setup the dominoes in the wrong places.

This is all to make the point that Hawks is more than capable of emotionally manipulating people, but it’s not in his nature or something he does to any and every person he comes across just because. We haven’t had much opportunity to see him operate outside of the HSPC’s orders which is where the bulk of the instances of his manipulation comes from - those orders requiring him to operate covertly and thus, by nature, necessitate lying, manipulation, and strategically withholding information.

If anything, when he’s making an appeal to someone else as his own person - not as a hero on a mission- we actually see a level of vulnerability and transparency we don’t otherwise catch.

Though it’s technically canon-adjacent and not necessarily canon in and of itself, in My Hero Academia: Team Up Mission where he works with Bakugo and Midoriya he operates on a level of transparency with them we’re not used to seeing; and my theory is he took it as an opportunity to operate without ulterior motives and build report instead of bucking back against “training up the next generation of heroes” like he initially did with Tokoyami.

Which now actually segues better into the next point.

#4 Hawks never lets people get close to him.

There’s a surprising amount of evidence that Hawks wants the ability to be an open book. Back at Team Up Mission, the restaurant staff note he regularly takes people he likes to their establishment - so we’re basically told outright this is a special place to him reserved for enjoying himself and only people he likes get to share it with him - so we already know what that says about how he sees those two despite their sparse interactions. We already know he’s taken Endeavor there when Endeavor made no move to input as to where he wanted to have the lunch meeting.

Though he kept Tokoyami at arm’s length initially, we have at least three canon instances of him sharing personal interactions with him with other canon-adjacent indications he cares for and values his intern. We’ve readily established that while Endeavor may not consider himself close to Hawks, Hawks does hold Endeavor as near and dear to his heart. While his only mission regarding Twice was to get information out of him, he still made a genuine effort to help and save him because he wanted to and considered him a friend despite the circumstances.

We still don’t know very much of Hawk’s past, his personal relationships outside of work, etc.; but despite the HPSC’s extensive efforts to strip him of his identity he not only possesses a faceted, complicated personality but seems to want to share that with others readily when and in the ways he’s able. Getting into the truly squishy, vulnerable parts of him may take a while, but on a scale of closed to open, he seems to lean towards open.

#5 Hawks is hopelessly in love with Dabi and will abandon everything up to this point for him.

This isn't to throw general DabiHawks shippers under the bus. Most of them know VERY well at this point that canon has sunk that ship, and they're just having fun with it at this point - and you know what, power to you! They look great together! In another life, the character chemistry could have been incredible. There’s a lot of great DabiHawks shipping content I thoroughly enjoy despite not shipping it myself.

It just isn't canon. It never was and never came close. Even now, with the Endeavor reveal being very much imminent, Hawks' view of Dabi is one of a lying, malicious, callous, murderer. Though he’ll likely be crushed at the revelation of what Endeavor’s done, that doesn’t equate to him defecting (especially not immediately) and falling into Dabi’s arms.

And Dabi hates Hawks just as much.

Again, this is not anything against the ship or the shippers - just an annoyance I have with some who were so wrapped up in the ship they were genuinely mad when the ship sank and they dragged that frustration out into the real world against real people when canon didn’t align with fanon.

Ships are some of the most stupid things to rail against creators and fans over, and the amount of harassment they receive now over shipping has me ripping my hair out when I know it’s a mere fraction of the total pool of shippers who are frothing at the mouth while the rest are super cool and happy doing their own thing and keeping to themselves.

Ship what you want, regardless of “validating evidence” and have fun. Don’t make it others’ problem when it isn’t canonically validated.

#6 Hawks is a dirty cop.

Only half upset with this one because it comes down to the nuance and lack of precise definition of this phrase I have a problem with. Lots of people hate cops for very real, legitimate reasons. Police forces - being a voluntary, government-employed force enforcing government rule - are notoriously prone to corruption of every kind.

It's implied the HPSC is itself corrupt, though to what extent we don't know. (Granted, buying a young child from his family to raise as your personal puppet is pretty high up there.) By continuing to follow orders from the HPSC and not vehemently fighting back, many see him as reinforcing a corrupt institution and at least partially liable for their continued hold on society.

Fair enough, but... The issue I have with this is it reduces Hawks to his job.

I believe a huge chunk of this take comes from my experience as an armed service member spouse, but it's easy for me to empathize with a guy

Who was promised the moon for himself and his family in exchange for his service not realizing what was actually being asked of him

Is praised outside the organization for "being a hero" and "upholding this country's core values" while first-hand witnessing the corruption of it when inside

Is viewed as a cog valuable only in services rendered instead of being treated like a human by said organization and worked into the ground because of it

Is frustrated by the insistence to keep the status quo instead of improving procedure/infrastructure/environment because egos need to be padded over real, human problems being solved

Has his autonomy or otherwise ability to operate under his own judgement restricted in favor of maintaining organizational control at the cost of effective action

Has DEPENDENTS who rely on his continued work to provide for them and is thus unable to refuse an order, even when it's morally reprehensible and even outright illegal

Whose cries, both those calculated and desperate, to the organization (who have placed themselves as the sole resource he can turn to) for help (even for his own body/mind) fall on deaf ears until he breaks to the point of becoming unusable or dangerous - and even then minimal effort/responsibility is taken in favor of keeping him functioning in the organization as long as possible.

Hawks fights back against the HPSC constantly. He raised concerns over letting civilians suffer to get him in with the League of Villains and then still defied orders by reducing casualties to zero. Despite orders to keep his mission top secret, he's informed Endeavor of his motives/movements independently from the rest of the heroes. He had long refused to take an intern (read: fresh meat for the machine) to train until this year, and even then sought to minimize his encouragement of Tokoyami for as long as possible until he realized Tokoyami was made of the real mettle people needed in a hero and not just another youngster endangering himself on a pipe dream.

He even takes initiative to keep his personal to-do list from the HPSC to a minimum by squashing problems before they come knocking asking him to fix it for them. He knew of the League of Villains and anticipated the escalation of their movements immediately after the USJ incident as well as has a network of informants and connections with local police forces to stay in the know.

His methods for apprehension of criminals are, and continue to be, to react and detain them so quickly they can't retaliate or endanger others in the struggle, thus minimizing human loss and injury despite the insinuation the HPSC has told him that gloves are off in the current situation.

He might be "a cop" depending on the definition we go with, but he isn't a dirty cop. He doesn't plant evidence. He doesn't shoot first and ask questions later. He doesn't blindly take orders. He largely doesn't see "villains" as dirt under his shoe but as people pushed to extremes. He's a morally convicted individual trying to rebel within the system instead of tearing it down outright. He may be wrong in the assumption, but he genuinely believes he can do more on the inside of the system than outside.

#7 Hawks is a manwhore.

Ok, this one is not serious and actually just to end this all on a lighter note after ranting until I'm blue in the face.

I'm 100% guilty of this myself. Something about that chicken makes me and many others salivate - either for themselves or to watch him with someone else. We love dressing him up slutty, portray him as flirting unashamedly, and placing him in as many overtly sexual scenarios possible.

The best part about all of it, though, is that it’s almost the exact opposite of how he dresses/conducts himself in canon. His clothes are loose fitting and high-coverage. He’s personable, but never gives any indication he’s romantically/sexually involved or interested in anyone. The asscourse is real only because we cannot confirm either way due to his baggy clothes. His overall figure/body shape has been hinted at, but only recently confirmed; and his jacket had to be literally be burned off to get a good look at the pattern of his shirt under it!

~~~~~~~

And with that, I release the frustration and move on.

Enjoy fanon as much as you like - even I do! Just be aware of where canon and fanon diverge, and definitely don’t take the difference out on real people. Please also be aware of how others hold their favorite characters dear before flooding the general tags with negativity and creating a hostile environment for them. People latch onto their “comfort characters” for a plethora of reasons, and when they lose that character to the plot, the fandom, or otherwise, they should still be allowed to grieve and celebrate what they had in a safe environment.

Retaliation in response to others coming against your favorite is also not acceptable behavior. It sucks, but the most mature thing to do is step away from the general fandom, stick to blogs/spaces you know are safe, and let the storm blow over. Comfort characters do not justify mistreating real people no matter how much they may mean to you.

When “canon gets it wrong” is where fanfiction and pockets of the fandom community comes into play. Leave those people alone and let them be. For those who aligned themselves with canon, they are not free game to take personal frustrations out on. Leave those people alone and let them be. Unfollow the people/tags you need to for your own sake and others’, and the fandom will be a better place all around over time. Venting belongs in controlled spaces away from the rest of the fandom and with enough warning for those who not only don’t want to endure it but who for their own safety shouldn’t.

Fandom is a community, and healthy communities do not endorse members lashing out when they don’t get their way.

#spoiler!hawks #let's talk hawks

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years ago

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more malec livewatch, everyone! i decided to start making the posts separately instead of keeping reblogging the same one over and over because i don’t want to drive everyone crazy with that gigantic fucking post. you can read the first ones here and i’ll keep updating the posts to lead to the next ones i guess. also im tagging it malec livewatch for those who want to avoid this nonsense

so let’s brave pre-wedding episode 12 i guess

oh boy.... we’re gonna do it... we’re gonna experience the Maximum Cringe

the special effects are so BAD odaijsdoaj when he summons the wine into Alec’s hand it’s just...... god

“we never finished our conversation” i mean you were the one who finished it magnus so wtf are you going on about

“it’s about family, tradition, honor” yeah we get it zuko boi duoahsiudhdiusa

really tho like he’s so clearly just.... reciting it. taking some shit out off the top of his head about how it’s the right thing and it’s sad tbh

he clearly kinda already has a script too? like “you and I understand marriage very differently” he says it right off the bat, he’s been thinking it over and hghgghgh

magnus goes near alec and alec swallows immediately and magnus ain’t even making a move to touch him yet. just diuahsdah it’s so obvious how hard he’s trying to hold back here

“you’re confusing me” is like the only thing he says the whole scene that sounds genuine

he’s paying so much attention to magnus’ dumb little speech about what love feels like too like. he’s trying to hold back but he’s very clearly pulled in, and i don’t even think it’s by magnus specifically (i mean obviously cuz have you seen him) but because he... kind of wants to hear it, kind of wants magnus to give him some golden argument that will make his whole resolution shatter. except he doesn’t because he doesn’t know what he’ll do then, but he’s still hoping for something and it’s sad

like how magnus clearly pauses like he’s waiting for alec’s reaction too, like. alec makes to leave and magnus doesn’t go after him, but he speaks, and alec stops. only when alec stops he gets closer. only when alec looks at him, clearly waiting to hear more, does he begin to talk again. i dig that even if most of this scene is kinda ugh to me

i hate how he uses his magic tho like what’s the point?? like yes i know that magic “can’t create feelings” but still dauhdsa it kinds feels like he’s cheating or trying to manipulate alec or something and i’m.. not into how the whole thing is done

oof hate how alec says “this is all just a game to you, isn’t it?” like bitch you know damn well it’s not like he’s putting himself at risk and showing you so much vulnerability and i hate how he goes for the whole “oh magnus doesn’t care about anything he’s just a seductive lothario” narrative in here lowkey. like i know he’s just trying to distance himself and he doesn’t fully believe it but... aaaaa i hate it

and he’s so HURT by alec’s words too like the rejection doesn’t hurt him as much as hearing alec say that he just flirts and it means nothing to him does. he’s trying so fucking hard to be open and honest and taking such a RISK (psychological, emotional, even physical) and alec is just throwing all of that bullshit persona he’s actively trying not to hide behind in his face, belittling all his efforts and feelings, and aaa

like again i don’t really blame alec but he truly is so hurt

still wonder what alec was about to say when he turned around to talk to him and magnus wasn’t there anymore tbh like. probably something else to try and distance himself so it’s probably good magnus left and isn’t there to hear it and it kind of forces alec to really think it over to himself instead of trying to argue but...... i do wonder what he was going to say diahsiduahdisah

magnus doesn’t even answer the whole “this means nothing to you” veiled accusation which.... also hurts like idk if he’s trying to avoid a fight or derailing like alec clearly is trying to, or if he just is too tired to have this argument, or if he just doesn’t want to open up this much, but either way he doesn’t acknowledge it except for his hurt look and oof

no one cares about jace and clary talking or whatever’s happening here next

i had never noticed the way magnus winks at clary when he says “oh, it’s happy hour somewhere, my dear” daishdaiuh it’s kinda cute tbh

hodge is so uncomfortable like the way he talks to magnus and gets too close to him... in a way that he doesn’t with anyone else either like he’s clearly just lowkey despising him/getting into his space and magnus notices too and it gives me the heebie jeebies

diuhaiudsahduaishdai magnus’ IMMEDIATE reaction of “why is ragnor fell there, he’s not more powerful than me” asohdaiudha we stan bickering bffs i truly love them so much

“he’s older than you” “certainly not wiser” daiohsahda

i think he might also be lowkey trying to protect ragnor and take the clave’s attention away from him now that i think about it but still i love their bickering

nah that’s cancelled he immediately rats him out on having been jocelyn’s profesor lmaoo

“that’s why he hasn’t been responding to my fire messages” daoihdsaiohads someone needs to lick their wounds

he’s just like “oh ragnor is hiding in his specific safehouse outside of london” like daoiusduaihdasuda love how he just knows that off the top of his head when ragnor clearly didn’t actually tell him about it since he just fucked off and hasn’t been responding

“didn’t know you were here” “that was the point” doaiuhdasiouhdaiuhdas

like i know he’s talking about the marriage but also.... just mood in general tbh

again with the eye flickering. hes looking at magnus, no hes not, yeah he is, haha SIKE, oh there it is again, nope it’s gone..... kinda funny cuz like i know that alec’s eyes flicker a lot in general but afterwards when they are together every time he looks at magnus it’s just so pointed and intense and focused on him so the contrast of watching the s1 scenes and realizing how little his glances at magnus always lasted is... interesting and heartbreaking. like obviously he doesn’t want to be looking at any man for too long, doesn’t want to take that risk, keeps hyper aware of his attraction at all times, but he still can’t help the glances and then when he can look he just does it so unapologetically and intensely and you can tell that it’s just. intimate to him (to both of them really) right then, and wow

i know we talk a lot about alec’s Big Hands but magnus’ hands are so nice too in like a totally different way... anytime he holds anything it just looks like he’s treating it like it’s precious, it’s so delicate and careful and his hands are smooth and pretty and wow i love him so fucking much

wow can’t believe nothing heartbreaking at all happens when they go to ragnor’s house and that ragnor just winks at magnus like “haha yes i am ‘dead’” and magnus is like “yes, this is a lie and a ruse and also a plan. i am perfectly aware that ragnor is not dead at all”

ragnor says “my dear friend, i will always be here for you” with so much honesty and love and ugh i love them like they’re always little bitches to each other but they still have the room to be perfectly loving and honest with each other and i stan

ragnor looks at magnus with so much fucking hurt when magnus says “i prayed she would love me the same” like you can tell it destroys him to even remember it or think about it and aaa

“he was always so much better looking than you” and the way magnus purses his lips in what is clearly a smile like he just knows it’s the teasing and he loves ragnor and their dynamic and i just daouhdsauida also he’s so beautiful boy i die

the way ragnor says “someday, someone will come and will tear down those walls you put around you and around your heart” and magnus looks at him with so much. fucking PAIN in his eyes because someone did but it got nowhere and in the end alec just kind of acknowledged his walls again and went back to pretending that it never happened and that magnus didn’t progress or open up to it at all, that magnus was just lying, that it’s just a game and dauhdaiudha god he’s so HURT

again i owe harry shum jr my entire life like he might be seriously the best actor i’ve ever seen in any show, he’s so damn expressive and talented in every little motion he’s truly a pearl in the desert of shit that is this show

“even in death, you give the best advice” ugh love how this really cements that magnus is used to opening up to ragnor and even with their bickering there’s so much room for them to be emotionally honest like we stan

anyway sure wish this had any emotional continuity whatsoever but at least the cringefest is over. onto an actual good scene fucking finally

love every little detail about this scene as yall probably already know so i’ll try not to point every single one of them out yet again but who knows if i’ll succeed. i bet that i won’t tbh

love the contrast between alec looking so tense when lydia comes down the aisle and she’s like all smiles and shit

she’s before him and he can barely look at her like his eyes flicker a bit between her and the bouquet and he settles on the bouquet this whole thing is so... wrong so clearly, like i could show it to someone who doesn’t know shit about sh and they would be able to tell that nothing fits

even alec’s clothes are weird, like idk i don’t understand fashion but his look looks so disjointed, like the blazer doesn’t really match the pants, the bowtie looks weird and doesn’t match the buttons, and shit and nothing about him looks like it’s in the right place. and everyone else (except maybe izzy who also looks miserable lmao) looks like a perfect picture and he’s just.... idk there’s this aura of wrongness around him that’s subtle but really well done in the terms of costume and shit. the costume department really went off in this whole scene honestly like we stan. possibly the only ones other than the actors who knew what the fuck they were doing lmao

when lydia smiles at izzy and izzy barely moves up the corner of one of her lips dajdasnjdan she looks even more miserable than alec does and god i love the lightwood siblings so much like i truly do. she’s supporting him because she’s decided she’s not going to keep pushing him when it only leads to him not trusting her but she’s all broken that he’s broken, and she was willing to take his place and throw her life away even when that’s everything she’s always tried to avoid, just so he wouldn’t have to do this, and aaaaa

who cares about jace and clary looking at each other @directing team like seriously get over this

he turns in the direction of the silent brother in an almost kind of jerking motion like he completely forgot about where he was supposed to go or something, like again he’s just... not in it

they are holding hands in the WEIRDEST possible way too like there’s so much distance between them it’s almost funny ldaojsja

he tries to smile at lydia when she’s about to put the rune on his arm like he knows she knows that he’s hating this and he’s just bearing it and trying to not make her uncomfortable? like doajdsaoj

the way that magnus INTERRUPTS not just the wedding but also the chorus, you could tell there was a crescendo coming even if you’ve never heard the song, but magnus pushes the doors open and suddenly it stops and there’s this little bit and then the “tututututu” of tension as he comes into view and his steps perfectly match the three little beats that were already there before, but sound so much louder and more prominent like a heartbeat, like before they were muffled and now they’re real??? the poetic cinema bro

ill just never get over the way they used song here it sounds like an AMV like the song isn’t just giving the vibe, they are telling the story THROUGH the song and the whole scene is basically a coreography, and the song is the narrative, and holy shit i love it so much could you imagine if they had used this amount of thought and genius and clever storytelling the whole show?? i’d shit myself

ugh the DRAMA of magnus’ look again i KNOW i’ve been over this again and again and again and again and again and again but i just. i love how they used his makeup & costume to accentuate magnus’ 1- face, 2- eyes, 3- jaw, and 4- adam’s apple. the whole focus is on his face and eyes (which again so expressive we stan harry shum jr in this house), the fact that his eyes are his WARLOCK MARK (yeah they’re not out but like we’re still drawing attention to the part of magnus he tries to hide the most, and the part of him that marks what makes him disdainful to shadowhunters), the fact that his jaw and adam’s apple are so prominent. his whole face looks really sharp and masculine you know?? like the whole focus is on everything about him that’s supposed to be “wrong” and make malec “wrong” but he’s never looked more beautiful (IT’S SUCH AN UNDERRATED LOOK) and they didn’t sacrifice his gnc-ness for it either, on the contrary, they gave his hair the hot pink streak which. INSPIRED WE STAN, and the makeup is very clear (again esp around his eyes) which of course only adds to it because he’s not just a man, he’s a gnc man and that makes it “worse”, but also like, i like how they accentuated his masculinity in alec’s coming out scene, without sacrificing his identity and gender non conformness. again the costume department is the only one who genuinely knew what they were doing 100% of the time i hope they all got big fucking checks

alec just blinks and focuses on him and it’s the first time it looks like he’s really looking at something and i just wow

izzy is so happy to see magnus there :) she loves her brother so much :)

magnus holding up two fingers to get people to shut up... the way he snarls “maryse, this is between me and your son” with so much certainty and like no room for bullshit he’s so good at making shadowhunters too speechless to stop him and honestly im such a whore tbh if he did this to me id just nut on the spot. shut me up daddy. fuck who said that

like how they included the “i’ll leave if he asks me to” and how he really doesn’t say anything, he’s just standing there, like they made sure to make this scene respectful and i was kind of dreading it the first time because i’d HATE it if magnus had outed him or made this whole drama out of it but he didn’t and i like that so so much

“i thought we were doing the right thing, but... this isn’t it” always gets me and i can’t even put my finger on why. it just does like again this is not really about magnus or their relationship, it’s about how he feels about the whole thing, everything that he’s giving up and he barely knows what for anymore, and i justjfianfajf

again the BRILLIANCE of the song usage the way that he’s talking to lydia and the beat is so damn loud and overwhelming and then as soon as he turns to magnus everything just drowns out and there is one (1) piano note and it’s just him and magnus and it’s like everything silences??? he’s just so damn focused and it’s not the nervousness and loudness of everyone else and their whole audience (they don’t even show the audience anymore after alec turns to him for real and before the actual kiss i don’t think) and there’s just that sharp focus and certainty because alec’s made up his mind and there’s no sound anymore like mwaaahhh poetic cinEMA

and it’s just that moment of clarity as they both look at each other and the song begins again with the higher tempo again, but it feels more like, a march? than that overwhelming noise. and of course there’s the singing and it feels like everything has purpose and is just laser focused and it’s still intense but in a completely opposite way, not lost but found and wow im such a whORE for this scene it’s unbelievable

like how alec takes the first step towards magnus after he’s down the stairs exactly as the song goes “want” like mwaahhhhh brilliance amazing talented showstopping spectacular never been done before completely unique,

his “enough” is dajksdfahidasdhadusahuash again im a simple sub id nut

i was right they only really show the audience again after the kiss. except for maryse but even then it’s so quick, we see her going to alec and after alec says “enough” she literally doesn’t show anymore it’s like she’s not even there, she just disappears it’s so sexy we stan??? like again alec’s made up his mind and nothing else is there to stop him wow love that for him could you imagine thinking this man is shy and insecure? can’t relate

THEY ARE SKIGGNISNGG

FOREVER A WHORE FOR THE WAY MAGNUS CHASES AFTER HIM HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THE WAY HE’S SO LOST IN THE KISS, IN THE ELATION, AND HE JUST CAN’T HELP GOING FOR MORE BEFORE HE CAN STOP HIMSELF AND KEEP UP WITH HIS TIGHT COMPOSTURE (because magnus had barely moved once alec had seen him, he just stood there and waited like he was waiting for his cue, he was holding himself perfectly steadily and just had so many walls) LIKE HE JUST CAN’T HELP BUT WANT?? AND GO FOR MORE?? AND THEN HE REALIZES ALEC IS PULLING AWAY AND HE LOOKS AT HIM FOR A SECOND (and his eyes look so DIFFERENT, not like there’s a wall there, he looks relieved and happy and even kind of dazed and i just wow the difference is SO clear) AND ALEC LOOKS AT HIM AND HE TAKES JUST A FRACTION OF A SECOND BEFORE HE LEANS IN AGAIN, AND IT’S THE FIRST TIME THAT MAGNUS HAS ASKED FOR MORE AND ALEC’S GIVEN IT, BECAUSE ALEC HAS BEEN GIVING HIM SOME OPENINGS BUT EVERY TIME MAGNUS WANTED MORE HE TURNED AWAY, BUT THIS TIME HE FUCKING GIVES MAGNUS WHAT HE’S SILENTLY ASKING FOR, HE’S CHOOSING HIM FULLY AND NOT JUST ENOUGH FOR THEM TO BE ABLE TO BE TOGETHER, HE’S CHOOSING TO GO ALL IN AND KISS MAGNUS UNTIL HE’S SATISFIED AND HOLY SHIT THE POETIC CINEMA!! THE TALENT!!! THE BRILLIANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SHADOWHUNTERS CREW FOR PUTTING UP YOUR FIVE TOTAL BRAINCELLS TOGETHER TO MAKE THIS FANTASTIC THING HAPPEN HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS SCENE IS EVERYTHING TO ME

a bitch needs to lie down i think that’s all for today

next part

#malec livewatch #magnus bane #alec lightwood #meta #malec #sh

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deliriumsetin · 5 years ago

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So here’s the thing...

I’m really freaking hard to scare. Unlike my cat that just booked it into another room when our UPS guy dropped a package off at the door. Perfect timing, Percy. Perfect timing...

Anyways! I have NOT had a good scare in probably two decades. No matter what fiction I pick up that promises to chill and thrill me, neither happens.

Now keep this in mind.

As of right now I am launching a business and yes, this will tie into the weird opener. Be patient, please.

I am launching Vox et Liber, a publishing house for ALL kinds of stories and ALL kinds of voices. I started working on this in November 2019, what do you mean that was only 8 months ago?! I originally thought the publishing house up after learning a bunch of facts about the publishing world over the summer.

VeL publishing will be a new kind of publishing and I can say that with 100% confidence because I am building this beast from the ground up, with the help of @hazandlouwho, my fiance, and a few other amazing people!

Because this business is getting started independently, which means no investors, we are working with a VERY small amount of cash reserved for start up. Initially all works will be published digitally. We do plan on launching a Kickstarter in September/October to get enough funds to keep this going and to do it right which means getting stories published physically and sold to both indie bookstores and Barnes and Noble. Please be on the look out for that.

If any awesome people want to donate to help us not break my own personal bank, which will be easy to do since Covid-19 forced me to quit my job working with the public because I’m high risk and unemployment has kept me in limbo for going on 3 weeks, you can tip us on Ko-Fi by clicking here. ALL donations and funds raised go towards launching VeL and all projects under the VeL umbrella.

Bringing it around to the scares. VeL is launching our first project and we need all you awesome writers’ help. As of today we are opening submissions for our first ever anthology, Graveyard Visits. It’s horror with the theme of marginalized voices written as Own Voice fiction. Meaning stories written by marginalized groups with their marginalized groups as main characters.

Submissions are going to be open from July 1st until August 12th 11:59pm EST. Stories are expected to be between 2.5k-5k words in length. We will be paying $.02 per word as well as giving you a digital copy of the anthology. Submission Guidelines can be found here.

Now the whole me being hard to scare; I want to be scared. Submit your best, your scariest, and most bone-chilling stories.

Also, not so subtly gonna add a nudge to @thebibliosphere because I feel like she might have something up her sleeve. If not for this anthology then definitely our erotica one that will be announced later this summer.

We also have a podcast series in the works but I will do another post on that once I or my awesome soon to be brother in law (that’s STILL weird) have a moment to do up some graphics.

Click below for my rant on why traditional publishing right now is a soul sucking leech on EVERYONE.

On average with hardcover books an author is lucky to make $1.50 off each one sold and that’s only AFTER they sell enough to cover their advance. I also found out the average advance is like 3k per book. Some (not including the wicked big names who get a shit ton more) can get as high as 5k but others can get as low as a 1k. An author is lucky to see that twice a year (selling 2 books) because they have to spend time MARKETING book 1 instead of writing book 2.

Keep in mind fiction hardcovers are generally sold between 19.99 (usually YA) or 29.99 (usually adult). Wicked big difference, huh? I get there’s a lot that goes into making a book, trust me I do but the split between should leave the authors getting around $4 per copy instead of less than $2. That $2.50 is just extra that the publishing house takes because it can.

Then there are the mass paperbacks which an author gets paid 50 damn cents per copy. Yes, those books retail for anywhere between 7.99 and 14.99 per book and sell way faster than hardcovers. Take it from an ex-bookseller.

Most books take on average 500 to 1,000 hours of work put into them before they even get handed off to the publisher for the FIRST time. At minimum that author sees an hourly return wage of $6 which is BELOW the United fucking States shit-tastic minimum peasant wage. We devalue the arts so fucking much- arg! But that can be a separate rant for another day.

Then after doing more research I realized just how off balanced the publishing world STILL is in the year of hell 2020. Don’t believe me click the link. Sarah Park Dahlen did a great article with a great graphic on it.

As of 2015, yes I’m paraphrasing to continue to rant, children’s books had ALMOST more books about anthropomorphic cars, household items, and animals than there were books about Black kids, Asian Pacific kids, Latinx kids, or Native American/First Nation kids combined. Talking teakettles and their kindred got a whopping 12.5% while if you add up all the groups above you get 14.2%. None on there own beat out the freaking Easter Bunny! Of course books about White kids are the highest at 73.3%. Yes, this was as of 2015 but as an avid reader who reads middle-grade and up books for fun I can tell you nothing much has changed. Books about black kids maybe SLIGHTLY higher since the BLM movement (fuck yes progress!!) but I’d be heartstoppingly shocked if they beat out talking fucking trucks.

And that’s just race. From what I gathered with all the publishing houses less than 100 books with LGBTQIAP+ main characters are published each year. Wtf? And among that as of 2015 55% percent are about cisgendered males and 31% are cisgendered females. (Thank you @malindalo, you are awesome and I’ve enjoyed meeting you at the Boston Teen Author festival the last few years.) So, just focusing on those 2 first letters, huh? I want to read a story about a kickass transwoman that has to deal with transitioning WHILE demons have torn their way out of hell. That would be badass! Holy shit, someone trans write that!

Same goes for people that live with disabilities whether they are physical or mental, including mental illness and neurodivergents like myself. If you haven’t figured out by this rant just how ADHD I am than you might need an ADHD in your life. My brain works differently and I would have killed growing up to read about characters that have to deal with what I deal with. We have Percy Jackson now and his all ‘verse but it’s not enough and it wasn’t published until I was on my way to college.

All that aside we now have all the bs coming out about what’s been going on in traditional publishing. About all the dickweeds that have been using their power and pull to sexually harass new authors, most often the new authors are young women. I unfollowed people and canceled a pre-order because fuck that shit! Also, I don’t give a fuck how big a name someone is if the hate they spew makes all their trans fans collectively feel like shit for not believing the simple fact that transwomen are women then they deserve to get dropped like the bag of shit they are. TERFs can fuck right off.

All the publishing bs has made me more determined to get VeL off the ground because no, no, no. We’ll have none of that. All the listed above reasons can go play in traffic. We will be paying our authors better and taking care of them from day 1. We will be making sure our catalog is so damn diverse that you’d have to be looking at the wrong website to not find a story that you can’t see yourself in and lastly, if we hear of any of our authors pulling a Myke Cole or a Sam Sykes than they are dropped. It is in the best interests of our authors futures that they aren’t shitbags. /end rant

If y’all have any questions about anything of this, I think my dms are open or if I’m wrong just tag me. My days lately have been chained to my shit dell computer with one or both cats pinning me to the couch. I finish this up as Percy settles in on my legs. Also, thunderstorm is starting up and both are sleeping through it? If only I could be so lucky when the fiance and I have kids...

#publishing #anthology #writing #writing challenge #writers unite #supernatural #horror #writblr

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krawalito · 6 years ago

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This post is not spoiler free. Its tagged but I don’t really give a shit anymore. I was spoiled and I am actually happy about it. my thoughts on Tros.

My fellow reylos. So here is my last post before I’ll come back tomorrow. I have another 6 hrs before I see the movie. But before I do I need to release some of my thoughts.

I think I will find some scenes in this movie i am going to enjoy. I am not going to hate all of it. In general I am a very positive person so I think it wont kill me.

BUT here comes the big BUT. What the hell is wrong with American scripts/movies/shows? (this has nothing to do with American people but with the American film industry. Don’t get me wrong). What is this subvert expectations? What is this bittersweet shit NO ONE really wants to see? Did they not learn from their mistakes? I used to say you cannot compare SW with GOT but I was wrong. The premise yes is different, but the outcome of storytelling is still the same.

I loved GOT with all my heart. It was cruel at most times but still I had some hope that in the end everything will come to conclusion and it will not leave me totally frustrated. I didn’t expect an HEA at all but something better than the last season. I was about buying merch, I was about buying all the seasons, but I ended up buying NOTHING. This show literally doesn’t exist for me anymore. I erased it completely bc they screwed it up. Let’s face it they did. And I was not the only one boycotting everything post season 8. HBO lost revenue. Every company selling merch lost revenue. They did. And still we see the same storytelling style yet again.

What’s wrong with happy endings? Why do all of these big Hollywood companies think we want this cruelty? I don’t. and from what I read, listen and see the majority of people don’t. especially women. I am so sick that they use us, tease us but in the end, they don’t give us what we deserve. I am sick of it. The point of diving into fantasy is to forget about the world around you. The world alone is tough enough and I don’t want to be haunted by that when I watch fiction. That’s the whole point of fiction.

SW is about HOPE, always was, always should have been. JJ obviously missed the point. HE DID!

NO ONE wanted Rey to end up where she started. NO ONE. NO ONE wanted the most popular character to die like this. if you kill him then c’mon bring him at least back as a force ghost, bc that leaves a door open and it gives people hope. What the hell is wrong with JJ? Reys ending is the most ridiculous end of all times. And don’t get me started with Leia. Leia never had any luck in her entire life. And this is how it all ends for her? Not reuniting with her son? nope with whatever rey is to her. I have no words for that. this is bad storytelling. Period. There is nothing to debate about. It leaves me without any emotion.

I loved the idea of rey being nobody (if the leaks are true and she is a palpatine). That would have been the most beautiful message to all the young girls (and boys) out there that no matter where you come from you can become whomever you want to, and you can end up being strong and loved. But nope. She falls in love, she never finds her belonging bc ben is gone and ends up where she started with a fucking droid, on a dead planet. What message is that? Girl whatever you do in your life you end up unhappy and alone and some dudes who are not related to you say goodbye in a sunset. Praise the lord.

Ben Solo dies. For love. Which is a grand gesture right there and it makes his redemption arc for the GA plausible. BUT not for SW fans. And the fanbase is huge. He was the last skywalker. He was a victim. He was abused. He was the hero after all. And they fucking kill him. If you kill him JJ, make him a fucking force ghost so he can be with his family. What message do they deliver here? That no matter what you do, no matter what happens in your life.. if you are a victim and you do something bad you have to sacrifice yourself in order to get redemption. WTF how am I supposed to tell my kids that the story is just plain dumb? I am (I posted that on my blog) a teenager of abuse and I could see so much of myself in Ben Solo. Its breaking my heart.

And what about the rest? NOT important. Finn? Who? Rose? Who? Poe? Who?

So, what is the conclusion of this story? That the Dark side always wins. Palpatine wins again. That’s it that the story. Anything that came before the Sequels is pointless now. Sorry to say that but it is actually. And the only reason is because they leave us without any hope. That’s the key to SW.

And please don’t tell me its fiction, calm down its not real. Yes, that is true, and my life goes on and I will survive it but its 42 years (for me a bit less) of a story that accompanied families and friends. Fiction has an impact on you whether you like it or not. I read books which I still think about because they touched me so deeply. Same applies to movies. MEDIA in general is important and has a huge impact on any of us. It influences young children and teenagers quite a lot actually.

So what do I learn from that disappointment? A lot. I will, and I am very serious about it, never invest so much energy on something that I do not know the end of ever again. I will not invest my money on anything SW unless its fan made. I want to know upfront if my expectations are met or not. I am 39, I grew up with Happy endings. I am not prepared for this new era of evil storytellers and I don’t want to ever get used to it.

I want us Anti or not anti, reysky or reyfinn, reypoe, stormpilot (whatever the shipnames are.. I lost track lol) to express our feelings and let them know that we are not happy with it bc if we don’t nothing is ever going to change. We have a voice and we should use it. Use twitter, use insta, use FB, use change.org to start a petition if you feel the need to. Don’t be afraid we all feel it too.

Last but not least… we Reylos were right all along. Reylo is canon. And that’s the tea. The last one until the movie comes out on dvd and I can see your beautiful gifs. This fandom brought so many talented people together like I have never seen before. Never forget without us there is no them. So use this power.

Before I forget. Rian Johnson is a genius. The TLJ is a beautiful movie.

This is my pre-watch Tros Post and I will make another afterwards but after all the spoilers now I am pretty much convinced that its all true. It won’t change my opinion on the story telling, that remains a shit show but it might change my view on the details.

#tros spoiler #relyo #tros leaks

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intrepidguardian · 6 years ago

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How Design Miscues are Failing Portrayals of Relationships in MTG

Discourse? Discourse.

Love is a difficult topic to discuss because it can encompass so many things that aren’t “love” - you know what I mean, the kind of stuff that would get a fanfic tagged as “fluff.” My wife’s and my third anniversary is coming up, and more and more I find myself still learning about what love is. I love the study, but I know that I could fill hundreds of external hard drives with epitaphs and musings about every interaction my wife and I have had, each exemplifying a different aspect of our love and still not get the point across of just how much I love her.

(Btw I love you Ash and thank you for helping me edit this)

So how could you get an idea as complex as love across in the 25 words you’re allowed on your average Magic card? More to the point, why bother portraying love in Magic: The Gathering?

"Players won’t care until they are cards.” - Matt Cavotta, Senior Art Director for Wizards of the Coast, discussing the motivation for implementing Planeswalkers as a card type.

A few years back, and I’m sorry that I can’t find the actual post, someone asked Mark Rosewater something to the effect of “Red is supposed to be the ‘emotional color,’ yet the only emotion we tend to see out of Red is anger. WTF?”

Mark responded that R&D was working towards showing different aspects of the emotional spectrum in Red, but was hampered by the fact that Magic: The Gathering is a game about fighting and it was difficult to portray anything other than MAD RED in a game about fighting.

“No, my battlefield only has room for more Goblin Chainwhirlers.” - Solid Snake, probably.

A little while later, they apparently cracked the love code and printed Cathartic Reunion in Kaladesh, which was meant to portray Chandra finally reuniting with her mother Pia Nalaar, when both thought that the other had died years ago.

Shoutout to all my Dredge opponents that keep beating me with four-card hands thanks to this card.

Like yeah, it’s a nice moment and a nice piece of art. It’s not romantic love, but it’s familial love. You can see the love between Chandra and Pia in their embrace, and I think this might be one of the first portrayals of a hug in Magic: The Gathering [someone prove me wrong]. When you only have 25 words to explain love, the art and flavor text can pick up the slack. But mechanically, what is this saying about maternal love, or love in general? Is love just more inherent deck consistency? Is drawing cards the greatest display of love in Magic: The Gathering? Artistically and flavorfully, this card is trying to say a lot. Mechanically, this card could have easily been called “Super Rummage” or “Elicit the Dredge” and no one would be able to tell the difference. This card is trying to show what love is, but without any sort of mechanical tie-in, Cathartic Reunion just tells you what love is.

Wow, my opponent loves me A WHOLE LOT!

I would say that the best way to explain love is to show love. And I think the best way to show love is to show people who love each other interact positively with one another. Like, love is hard to explain but is easy to see. When you see two people who love each other interact, you can just tell. Maybe it’s small physical gestures or communication purely through facial expressions, but when love is there, it’s obvious. Yes, the art of Cathartic Reunion clearly shows a tender love between Chandra and Pia, but both Chandra and Pia Nalaar were given cards in Kaladesh! Show us how they interact where we are most likely to see both of them: on the battlefield!

What are these cards doing for one another when both are on the battlefield? Not a lot. Chandra’s second +1 makes enough mana to use Pia’s first activated ability one additional time.

That’s cool, I guess.

Pia has a tag-along flying creature that can block for Chandra once, so Pia is essentially two blockers for a planeswalkers.

Yeah, but Whirler Rogue can make a bunch of Thopters to block for Chandra, so what does that mean? There’s no love between Chandra and some random Vedalken just because the three-drop blocks real good.

</3

There isn’t any mechanical unity here. Chandra doesn’t care about artifacts, and Pia doesn’t care about card advantage or incidental damage. They can do some things for each other, yes, but there isn’t anything for a deck builder to go “Hmm, how can I maximize this?” It’s the mechanical equivalent of Pia and Chandra getting Amazon gift cards for each other for their birthday - a display of love, but not a particularly meaningful one.

Well, here you go. -Chandra

But maybe this isn’t fair. Pia Nalaar’s card maybe wasn’t supposed to work well with Chandra, it was supposed to convey a sense of emptiness from missing Kiran, her husband who had actually been killed. They had been shown on their own card in Magic Origins, which is powerful enough that it hovers around Modern whenever Jund or Grixis are good. Pia’s card is cheaper, but comparatively weaker, and even when you look at the art, Pia Nalaar is significantly dimmer and emptier than the card Pia and Kiran Nalaar.

“What does Kiran bring to this relationship? DO THE MATH!” -My Grandmother-in-Law, maybe

Maybe before we can show a good example of familial love in card mechanics, we need to show people in love working together on the battlefield!

So let’s grab some examples. Three couples right now in Magic that people are really talking about are Jace x Vraska, Tomik x Ral Zarek, and Chandra x Nissa. If you wanted to show some cozy couples, what’s cozier than being in a deckbox with your significant other?

Jace x Vraska

Well, these cards could maybe work together? Not a lot of decks can make two blue mana on turn three and then turn around and make black and green mana on turn six.

Mana problems aside, they kind of work well together. Jace is looking for creatures to get through combat damage and Vraska makes difficult to block creature tokens thanks to Menace. However, there’s also a cost problem here, which is that Jace wants to come down turn three and Vraska, the muscle of this relationship with all the free blockers, doesn’t come down for another three turns, so Jace has to try and hide behind a Bird that goes away if you look at it too long while Vraska’s trying to get mana together. If you can find a way to get both on the battlefield in the same deck, maybe it works, but it’s a lot of work without a lot of payoff.

Okay, what about a more recent example? Chandra and Nissa both got new cards in War of the Spark and they’re supposed to be canon, so they probably have something going on between their two cards.

Chandra x Nissa

This is a pretty symbiotic relationship - Chandra finds extra cards to cast, and Nissa makes a lot of mana to cast those extra cards and creates blockers so the player has time to do so. It’s the RG formula we see in a lot of ramp decks in this color combination - Green makes the mana, red makes the otherwise-unwieldy payoffs. But much like Chandra’s mechanical relationship with Pia, this doesn’t feel special or unique. Yeah, Chandra finds extra cards, but she also comes into play before Nissa, so there’s a turn of vulnerability where Nissa might arrive too late to actually help Chandra. And anyone could do that “find extra cards” job. See, look:

It’s like the dating game, but for really, really sad people

They all can do the same “get extra cards” thing for the player the way Chandra can, and all benefit from the blockers and extra mana that Nissa produces.. Mechanically, there is some synergy between Chandra and Nissa, but there’s nothing that speaks to the relationship between the two characters - it feels more like a convenient coincidence that these two cards work together rather than two people who finally came together when it mattered most.

Maybe what we need is a mix-up - people represented on different card types could have more design space for synergistic effects.

Tomik x Ral

So the last pairing is Tomik x Ral. I don’t know if any of you have bought a “Planeswalker Deck,” but a big selling point to those cards for beginners is that there is usually a creature in the deck that benefits from having that deck’s planeswalker in play. They’re flavorful and fun to get out ahead when when you find your planeswalker, but they’ve never been really viable for tournament play. A planeswalker like Ral being in a relationship with a non-planeswalker seems like the perfect fit for creating a competitive-level combination of creature and planeswalker and could really highlight the relationship between Tomik and Ral.

Yeah, they didn’t even try with this one. Double white on turn 2 into Red and Blue on turn 4 is already a tall order, but these two cards have entirely separate goals. Tomik, a card designed for Legacy, really wants to hate on his opponents trying to manipulate their lands.

Ral doesn’t have the word “land” on his card, and is a card designed with card advantage and maybe some combos in mind.

They’re two totally different cards designed for two totally different decks. I get that. My point is that they shouldn’t be. Wizards clearly knows how to design “planeswalkers matter” creatures, had an opportunity to do so, and instead opted to design a Legacy card to hate out cards that don’t exist in Legacy anymore.

You barely even deserve this, WotC.

That last bit was a little dense. I get it, it’s hard to read without caring a lot about flavorful mechanics, but I am trying to get my point across that Wizards had so many opportunities to make cards that could work together and mechanically create a sense of a relationship between characters and repeatedly chose not to, instead prioritizing other design goals. If I’m coming on a little strongly, it is because I know Wizards knows how to do this. In fact, Wizards had the opposite problem to the Chandra x Nissa issue, waaaay back in Battle for Zendikar.

“...and the Lord of the Multiverse said to Gideon, “It is not good for a planeswalker to be alone,” and so the Lord created Nissa and brought her to Gideon who jubilantly exclaimed: ‘Voice of my voice! Planeswalker of my heart! I shall call you Nissa, Voice of Zendikar! Together we shall grow plants and make Ally offspring and they shall have dominion over the entire plane of Zendikar!’ And the Lord of the Multiverse saw that it was very good...” -A very tongue-in-cheek quote by Craig Wescoe discussing Nissa, Voice of Zendikar in the upcoming Oath of the Gatewatch set.

Do you see this? Do you get it?

These two cards were made for each other.

There are a lot of similarities between these cards, and because they’re similar, they work well together in a lot of ways, all of which scream “PLAY US IN THE SAME DECK.”

1. Both Planeswalkers make tokens without losing loyalty. 2. Both Planeswalkers have an ability that gets better with more tokens, and can boost each other’s tokens. 3. Nissa curves into Gideon and can help make a safe battlefield for him. 4. Nissa coming down late is still good for Gideon, and she can even boost him with a +1/+1 counter when he’s a creature. 5. Both Planeswalkers have the same naming convention: Planeswalker, Whatever of Zendikar. We’re battling for Zendikar, of course I want Zendikar’s Ally and Zendikar’s Voice!

“But wait!” somebody wanting to say something said. “Two green mana on Turn 3 could be tough, and needing two white mana on turn 4 is even tougher!”

Well, hold on there buckaroo, because have I got the love note in a Magic card for you:

We didn’t see it, but Gideon planeswalked to a high school on Theros and had a popular girl fold this card up into a little triangle before giving it to Nissa.

This card is the perfect mechanical tie-in for a Nissa x Gideon deck. Card selection has rarely ever been afforded to white decks, and GW token decks have often struggled with getting their mana right to cast their white payoff cards without making room for superfluous mana decks, and even then that might not fix it (just ask Richard Bland about his GW Tokens deck in the Worlds 2011 finals). And as a little bonus, this card can get either Nissa or Gideon or, you know, whatever creatures you wanted, and what color combination was going to have more efficient creatures AND planeswalkers than Green and White Mechanically, these cards work so well together and they look like they’re supposed to work together.

In fact, this was the core of an incredibly powerful GW Tokens deck that won Pro Tour Shadows over Innistrad in the hands of Steve Rubin.

And when I was younger and looking at this deck for the first time, I thought Wizards would leap at the opportunity to pair these two up. Two reasonably popular planeswalkers paired up together to save a plane and worked really well together when I sleeved them up together? For a time, I was locked in - I thought Nissa x Gideon was going to be canon, and the lead-up to Kaladesh was where we’d see a little fluff between the two, or at the very least some genuine bonding between the flagship planeswalkers of the two colors most-interested in community. Instead, we got this:

Nissa: You’re being a little extra for me.

Gideon: My bad lol.

I was a little salty about that interaction (mostly because it felt like every color combination in the Gatewatch has had a good or at least interesting interaction, except green and white), but I was down with Nissa x Chandra. It seemed like they had some chemistry in the story, and I was excited to see that chemistry reflected in the cards. Instead, we got a whole lot of nothing, which is infuriating because Wizards knows how to mechanically tie-in planeswalkers.

Okay Wizards, here’s your second fifth chance...

So why is all this important? Why go into this deep dive about card mechanics trying to convey something that is decidedly not a mechanic in Magic: the Gathering?

It’s because love can be expressed in this game’s mechanics, which is really hard in a game about fighting, but also a very unique opportunity. A card can care about what another card is doing, can subtly emulate what another card is doing or how it is presenting, and other cards can tie the two together. That kind of mechanical interlinking has a real-world analogue: a genuine, deep love for another person. Wizards has clearly struggled with the problem of portraying relationships in a way that its multiple player bases will care about and want to play with. The solution to that problem is creating powerful cards that mechanically care about one other and attributing those cards and mechanics to characters that emotionally care about each other in its stories.

Wizards, you clearly know how to do that, so...

#mtg #magic the gathering #mtgcommunity #mtg discourse #discourse

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imagine-that-100 · 6 years ago

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Conversation | Part 3 |

Description of Part 1: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You are a photographer, who lives in Manchester, that’s trying to make it down to London for your latest job. Your hectic morning leaves seconds to catch your train and luckily for you the 2 hour journey goes a lot faster when you have someone to make conversation with.

Word Count: 10.1k

A/N: So this is very long but I promise you it will be worth the read. Got a little drama in this part and I hope you all enjoy it. If you don’t understand any of the slang I’ve used I apologise and just message me if you are like wtf. I’d love some feedback and message me if you want to be tagged! Hope you all enjoy, love you x

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| MASTERLIST IN BIO |

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After meeting your one of your favourite celebrities and your extravagant weekend away, your life quickly turned back to normal. You spent Monday in bed chilling out, managing to binge a new Netflix series and devour and a mountain of crisps and chocolate as you hibernated. You’d sent the ballet pictures off to your employer and they had thanked you and paid you generously which you were thrilled by.

On Tuesday morning, your best friend came around and let herself into your room waking you up at 10am. Something which you made you, again, regret ever giving her a key. Her excuse for waking you up was that she needed her dose of gossip that you promised her after she told you about Matty’s picture on Sunday night.

She made you tell her everything about the train journey home and you spared no detail. The more you thought about it the giddier you got because it was Matty fucking Healy after all, and you’d spent nearly 5 hours with the man.

You showed her all the pictures that he’d taken of the two of you and you couldn’t help but reminisce about your time with him. Apart from all the innuendos, he was a perfect gentleman and you and your bestie were giggling like school girls again over him.

You absolutely adored the photos of you both. Your favourite was the one with his arm around you and he was kissing your temple.

Unfortunately, you couldn't stay all day with her and fangirl. You had to get up and go to work.

Reality was summoning you and you weren't impressed. You liked your bed too much to want to leave it.

You walked into the dark bar wearing your black converse, leather leggings and a checked, red and black shirt. The bar was thankfully very lenient with its staff members and there wasn’t a strict uniform policy.

Choosing to reflect your mood, you wore dark eyeshadow with black lipstick and silently prayed no one would bother you on your first shift back. Some of your customers could be a little too forward with you sometimes because of the way you dressed.

Some of the things they described you as made you laugh sometimes because of how stupid they were. Apparently your ‘edgy’ look was hot and made you extremely fuckable.

Thankfully, you could handle them as your ‘edgy’ appearance matched your passive aggressive personality. You didn’t take shit from anyone.

That was another thing you liked about working in the bar, your manager told you that if someone was rude to you, you could tell them to fuck off. The only other pro to working there was that the creeps that you served often tipped well.

You were doing a 6-12 shift and the evening started off alright but at 10 you could feel a someone’s eyes fixated on you. Looking down the bar you see a guy staring at you. He looked slightly older than you and he was sitting alone at the corner of the bar.

You went over to him when he asked for another pint, you politely served him as he wasn’t drunk enough for you to kick him out. As the night progressed you learnt that his name was Ryan and he was sitting alone in here because all of his mates were out with their ‘significant others’ as he called them.

It was clear that he was looking for someone to join him back at his place. It was quite sad yet funny watching as he’d start conversations with a few of the women in the bar.

You and your colleague were just watching, trying your best to retain your giggles. The women he chatted up entertained him for a few minutes before returning to their previous conversations.

However, due to the guys bad luck with the ladies, you were the only female left in the bar that he hadn't tried anything with yet. But something told you wouldn't make it out unscathed.

You watched as Ryan returned to the corner of the bar and started wallowing in self-pity, whilst nursing his third pint. You just pay him no attention whilst you start drying the freshly washed glasses, polishing she glass was more interesting than the boring man at the end of the bar.

Your work friend Alec, who also happened to be your manager, informed you that Ryan was once again staring at you. You roll your eyes at this, you really couldn't be arsed with horny men looking at you in hopes for a good time.

Alec knew this, so he pleaded with you to stay away from him and leave him to serve the guy. However, you didn’t like to let them beat you, or you would be cowering in the back most of the time.

Alex was like your brother and you loved him with all your heart, but he was very protective over you. You didn’t plan to leave your side of the bar so you insisted you’d be fine.

When you eventually went back over to Ryan, you made a little effort to chat to the poor man. In truth, it was just because you felt sorry for the man who had messy blonde hair and big bags under his eyes.

If you were completely honest, you’d say he looked like a hopeless cause, as if he’d lost his ambition in life.

“Are you okay over here?” You say to him politely wiping the bar down near where he drank.

“Good as I can be” He tells you in a deep voice and he coughed to clear his throat.

You looked into his blue eyes and he downed the rest of his lager, as if to impress you. You kept a blank face as you went over to get his empty glass.

As you picked it up off the side, Ryan’s hand enclosed around your own causing you to look at him with wide eyes.

“Don’t suppose you wanna grab a drink after you finish?” He asks you with hopeful eyes and you had to bite your tongue not to say something nasty to him.

You pull your hand from underneath his, along with the glass and say in the plainest way possible, “Sorry Hun, I’ve got a boyfriend.��

“Of course, you do…” You hear him mumble to himself and you have to try and contain a smirk that threatened to take over your features.

“What’s he look like?” Ryan asks curiously, almost as if he wanted to test you.

“Brown hair, brown eyes” You say instinctively, as you poured the man another pint.

You just automatically went for your ex’s features. You couldn't really deny that you had a particular type that you typically went for.

And unfortunately for big boy Ryan, he did not meet your criteria.

“Is it that guy over there?” Ryan asks gesturing towards Alec and before you could stop yourself you let out a small laugh.

“God no” You tell him but a second later you bite your tongue.

That lie would have been much easier to keep up. Alec was a good-looking guy with brown curly hair and had the pretty boy brown eyes to complete him.

“Who is he then?” Ryan asks and you shot him a look.

‘Was this guy real?’ You thought to yourself.

“Do you wanna see a picture or something?” You ask sarcastically, not actually believing he asked.

Ryan then smirks at you as he takes another mouthful of his drink. After he swallows, he unfortunately opens his mouth again and calls your bluff, “Yeah, I do”

You look at him blankly for a second, really not believing he had the cheek to question you on it.

“Well come on then… I’m sure he’s your lock screen or something” Ryan continues, and you had to bite your tongue.

You hated people trying to get into your business, especially strangers. If you didn’t want to go out someone, you didn’t feel the need to explain.

The fact that you worked in a bar made it difficult because you got the same question almost all the time. If working here for 3 years has taught you anything, it would be that lying just made it easier.

Saying you had a boyfriend usually left you to get on with the rest of your day without being disturbed. Until the next dickhead came along.

“Home screen actually” You scoff. “Just let me get my phone from the back” You say before you storm off into the back, fighting the urge to throw a punch his way.

Alec followed you in the back sensing your mood and made you explain what’d happened. You were so angry you couldn’t even look at him, you were just scrolling through your phone as you told him.

“Fucking twenty questions out there won’t take no for a fucking answer, so I said what I usually do, and now he wants proof” You rant.

“You could have just said it was me” Alec says with a little laugh, not minding.

However, you snap at him, “I know alright. But I need solutions, not you highlighting what I did wrong”

Once you realise your tone, you look up at him with apologetic eyes. Alec was one of the most important people in your life and you didn’t want or mean to be angry at him.

As soon as you looked into his brown eyes, you felt all of your stored anger dissipate and you gave him a hug.

“Sorry” You say.

It wasn’t Alec’s fault and his comforting arms around you made you feel a whole lot better.

When he pats your back, Alex releases you and smiles down at you, “It’s okay... Do you need help taking the picture?”

“It’s alright thanks, I’ve got pictures I can use” You say as you scroll through your camera roll.

You are so relieved when you find the ones of you and Matty in your phone and quickly set your favourite as your home screen. You don’t think you’d ever get tired of looking him kissing your forehead so sweetly.

When you walk back outside towards Ryan, you are much calmer than you were a few minutes ago.

“There you go” You show him, and Ryan goes to take your phone off you to have a better look.

However, you pull your phone back so it’s out of his reach and you say, “You can look with your eyes”

Ryan studies the photo for a second and you watch as his face falls realising the picture is real. He swallows the last of his drink before putting it down on the counter with a thud.

“Yeah whatever… See you on Friday beautiful” Ryan says slipping on his jacket and begins to walk out of the bar.

As you put your phone away, you raise your middle finger as he leaves without noticing. Unfortunately, he didn’t see you do it.

You were eternally grateful that you had been given Friday off this week so you wouldn’t have to see that piece of shit again. You heard Alec laugh as he watched you flip the guy off and then he comes over to you wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“What a fucking weirdo. Who tries to pull a girl on a Tuesday night” Alec says and you burst out laughing.

You were so thankful to have a boss like Alec. You’d known him for years and he had supported your photography every step of the way.

He always gave you time off when you needed it to pursue your dream career and he’s never been anything but supportive towards your ambitions in life. You certainly were lucky to have him.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The week flew by and it was Friday morning before you knew it. You’d gotten up early to shower before you went hunting for some scenery to photograph. However, before you made it out of your flat, you got a notification on your photography email saying: Urgent.

You furrowed your eyebrows at the sight of the notification and read the email quickly.

Dear Miss Y/L/N

We here at Dirty Hit have been recently made aware of your skills and upon review, we have been impressed by your work. Mr Healy has highly recommended you for a job and I would like you to invite you to an informal interview later this afternoon to discuss this further.

This would be a full time Personal Photographer for a Dirty Hit band. If you are interested, please give me a call as soon as possible on the number below and we can discuss the following details further.

All the best,

Jamie Oborne

You had to re-read the email a few times before what was being offered to you had sunk in. Jamie Oborne was offering you your dream job for a ridiculously good amount of money and you didn’t even have to do anything.

As soon as your brain flicked back into gear, you called the phone number attached to the email. As the phone rang you held your breath not wanting this to be some kind of practical joke.

Just as you were about to hang up, a voice on the other end of the line said, “Hello Jamie speaking”.

“Hello Mr Oborne? This is Y/N Y/L/N. I just received your email regarding a job offer and wanted to find out some more information about the interview you suggested.” You ramble nervously and trying to keep your voice as calm as possible.

You hear shuffling on the other end of the phone and then some voices growing louder until Jamie says, “Excuse me a moment, let me just find a quieter room.”

You stay silent waiting for him to speak again. You hear a door shut and then Jamie’s voice greets you again.

“Miss Y/L/N, yes, I’m really impressed with your work that I’ve been shown on your social media and wondered if you could meet me to discuss the job offer in further detail at… Say 3pm later on today?”

You look towards the clock in your room and you see that the time is 11:30am.

“Yes of course, that’s fine with me” You tell him, and Jamie sounds relieved.

“Brilliant, no need to get dressed up for the occasion just bring yourself and we can discuss things further from there” He tells you.

As soon as you finish on the phone with Jamie, you called your best friend.

“Y/N this better be fucking good, I’ve had point two seconds of sleep” She says, and you screech what just happened to you down the phone.

At one point during your conversation, you’re both just screaming at each other and you feel overwhelmed. You read her the email and she gasped when you told her how much money they were offering you and you still couldn’t believe it.

“You’re going to be The 1975’s fucking photographer, what the actual fuck Y/N/N!” She screams and you try not to smile.

“It could be one of the smaller bands we don’t know it’s them for sure” You tell her, and she calls bullshit.

“The email said, ‘Mr Healy has recommended you’, from the way he acted with you on the train it’s definitely not going to be for another band you fucking idiot… You’re the 1975’s new photographer.” She tells you and you feel like you’re buzzing with energy.

You can’t quite believe it.

When you next look at the clock it’s 12:30 and your friend tells you that she will be round at your flat waiting for you after she’s finished getting her stuff together. She says you will be having a 1975 fun filled evening and you don’t ask what she means by that.

You rush off the phone and start getting your shit together. You couldn’t go to a job interview in the baggy clothes you were wearing, no matter how informal Jamie stressed it would be.

You end up wearing black lace up heels with maroon jeans and a black belt. You decide to go for a black top that said ‘Believe’ in small white letters. You tucked it into your jeans to give your figure more definition and you felt really pretty.

You wore natural eye makeup with winged eyeliner and completed your look with a lipstick that matched your jeans. You had never felt so coordinated in your life, and to make everything better, you’d even had the time to straighten your hair.

You pick up your leather jacket off the back of your chair in your room and slipped it on. You hadn’t touched it since retrieving your charger from in on Sunday and you smile when you feel Matty’s sunglasses in the pocket.

You left them on your desk to make sure they didn’t get damaged.

You left your flat at 2:30 and you started walking towards the quiet coffee shop that you had agreed to meet in. When you eventually got there, you were 10 minutes early from speed walking because of your nerves.

You held your phone tightly in your hand as you sipped on your coffee, waiting for him to abruptly cancel, telling you he’d make a mistake and found someone better. You weren't quite sure you hadn't imagined everything so far.

When the bell to the coffee shop jingled you turned around to face the door and you were greeted with a friendly smile. Jamie wore a plain white top with blue jeans, when his eyes met yours his face lit up, as if relief had flooded his system.

“Y/N I presume” Jamie says walking towards you offering his hand to you.

You stood up and shook his hand saying, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr Oborne” You offers him a bright smile which he returned.

“Just Jamie is fine…Can I get you something to drink?” He asks and you politely told him that you’d already got yourself one.

“I’m sorry I would have gotten you one as well, but I didn’t know what you liked” You tell him, and he shakes his head.

“Don’t worry, take a seat and I’ll be with you in just a second” Jamie said as he made his way over to the counter.

You did as you were told and returned to your seat whilst quickly put your phone away into your jacket pocket.You looked around the shop and tried to take your mind off your elevated heartbeat.

‘Come on Y/N’ You thought, ‘Just get through this and then you’ve made it.’

By the time Jamie has come back over to you with his coffee, you’ve somehow made yourself more nervous and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. But his friendly smile did ease that a little.

You took a deep breath and Jamie says, “So, it’s lovely to meet you Y/N for a start”

You smile, “You too”

Jamie clears his throat after taking a sip of his coffee and says, “So in short, I’m offering you the job of being The 1975’s permanent photographer” He tells you and you have to bite your tongue to stop yourself from letting out a squeal.

“Matty has been messaging me all week about getting in contact with you and when he showed me your Instagram earlier, I was really impressed… I think you have the eye for it and from what Matty was telling me you really know your stuff” He continues and your shocked about Matty being so forward about you.

“He and the band are completely on board with you joining them for their American tour and I think you are a brilliant choice. I’m willing to give you the job if you are interested” Jamie tells you with a smile.

You can feel the shock on your features but quickly ramble, “I’m really, definitely interested… I just have a few questions” and Jamie nods for you to continue.

You ask him your burning questions and he tells you everything you need to know.

You will be with them most of the time as the position is full time. You’ll be at their Manchester studio, when they aren’t on tour, and continue to take pictures of them. You can edit whilst you are with them as there is apparently plenty of free space.

You didn’t really have to take pictures of them whilst at the studio, it was just in case the opportunity arose, and you didn’t have designated hours to be there. You would be given full credit for all the images you took of the band but Dirty Hit would technically own them. However, you could use them on your own social media pages along with any other images you took.

Whilst on tour you have to get at least 25 images of them per show and to be fully edited and sent to Jamie before the next one so they can be posted on their social media. Not all of them would be used, but Jamie was after a varied range of choice.

On tour you would be on the bus travelling with them so you were told that you would become very acquainted with them but not too worry because they were all lovely people. There weren’t any rules other than getting the images to Jamie before the next gig, and you needed changing your photography account to a normal one instead of a personal business.

Jamie said he didn’t want anyone else to snatch your talents away from him and you were shocked by his genuine kindness. Once you’d gone over and agreed on your payment, which was mind blowing, everything seemed to be completely sorted and clarified.

“Brilliant, I’ll have the contract printed later on and you’re welcome to start on Monday” Jamie smiles, shaking your hand to confirm you were his employee.

“Thank you so much” You tell him, genuinely over the moon to be given such an amazing job.

“No, thank you… Just make my boys look good” He laughs, and you tell him that you certainly will do.

“Let me give Matty a call, he’s been waiting for this all day” He says, and you laugh as he taps on his phone and then brings it to his ear.

You obviously hear Jamie’s side of the phone call and you could feel the excitement bubbling though your system. You wanted to cry. You’d gotten your dream job, and best of all it was with your favourite musicians.

As Jamie ended the phone call, he looked towards you and smiles. “Looks like he’s eager to get the other lads to meet you, he wants me to bring you back to the studio, if you’re okay with that?” He says and you nod, smiling at him.

“Yeah, of course I am” You tell him, and you finish the last of your drinks whilst you wait for the taxi Jamie called for you both.

You tell Jamie about yourself as you wait and when in the taxi, he asks you how well you know the band and you delve into your history of The 1975. He seems pleased that you have been a fan for so many years and he tells you about his experiences with them.

When the car comes to a stop, you get out and follow Jamie inside. You realise that it’s relatively close to the bar where you currently work and mentally note that you need to speak to Alec as soon as possible.

You needed to quit because the money that you were going to get off Dirty Hit per month was almost 3 months wages that you’re currently on at the bar. That and you didn’t want to be editing all day and then working in a bar at night.

When Jamie gets to the reception, he tells the receptionist that he’s going to need another key card for you to use to allow yourself in and out when you please. The receptionist quickly takes your pictures and tells you that she will have it sent up within the next half hour.

Jamie seems pleased with the interaction and you both step into the lift. He presses the button for the 8th floor and he keeps light conversation with you, never letting things get awkward which makes you feel at ease in the new surroundings.

As the lift doors bing open, you walk to end of the corridor and Jamie swipes his pass through the handle on the final door. Once the light changes from red to green he pushes the door open and you’re greeted with a rush of warm air. You hear music playing from somewhere and look around.

The studio was huge, the band basically had a whole floor to themselves. You saw a recording booth at the far end of the room, which you could see held a drum kit, sofas, and a bunch of instruments and microphones. That was separated by a wall with a huge glass window in between and on your side of the wall was the huge mixing desk with 4 different monitors at either end of it.

You could see George sat with his back to you watching the screens whilst Ross and Adam were in the recording booth. From what you could tell it looked like they were setting up something.

Just in front of you were three sofas that congregated around a coffee table and a huge TV on the back wall. There were instruments littered all over the place and you noticed other doors that you would be sure to explore later on.

“She’s here boys” Jamie said when the music went quiet and you smiled as George, Ross, and Adam came over to meet you.

You offer them all a big smile and a hand shake, which they returned, and you then tell them how nice it is to meet them. George has his hair down and was dressed in blue denim jeans with a white top.

Ross was wearing a black jumper with blue jeans and his hair and beard looked pristine. Adam’s blonde hair looked freshly cut and dyed and he was wearing black jeans with a plain white top.

You slip into easy conversation with them all and you were thankful nothing felt forced or awkward. You don’t know how or why, but it felt natural and easy being stood in front of your favourite band.

“Where’s Matty got to?” Jamie asks.

George nods towards the doors just behind him saying, “He had a headache so he went for a lie down”

“I’ll go get him” Jamie says with a smile and he heads into the rooms.

Ross picks up conversation with you and you can’t help the smile on your face as you chat to the three men you’ve seen on stage so many times. You tried your best to answer their questions until Jamie came back out with Matty by his side.

The brunette with the mad curls was rubbing his eyes when he walked out of the other room and you couldn't help but take note of his appearance.

He’s wearing black jeans with holes at the knees like the last time you’d seen him and a black hoodie with black converse on. His messy curls had fallen onto his face and he quickly ran a hand through it messing it up further.

When Matty’s eye’s connected with your Y/E/C ones, to you it felt like you went numb. Maybe because it felt like he was staring into your soul, but more than likely it was because you felt overwhelmed with gratitude towards him.

Immediately, a smile made it’s way onto his face and you couldn't keep your grin at bay now.

However, it immediately drops off your face when Matty smirks, “You brought my fuck buddy back”

You look from Matty, quickly around to the band who didn’t even seem phased by his comment, and then to Jamie.

You shake your head and tell them seriously, “Definitely not”

They all just grin at you though. You can tell they must be really used to comments like that as they all didn’t seem to believe him.

When Matty walks towards you, he wraps his arms around your waist. You go to return his hug by wrapping your arms around his neck but then he suddenly picks you up off the ground spinning you.

You let out a little screech and tighten your arms around him, so you don’t fall.

“Put me down now, you fucker” You giggle, and he just laughs down your ear whilst he does what he’s told.

When you’re deposited back on the ground, George comes over and wraps an arm around your shoulders, moving you away from Matty.

“Don’t worry, we’ll protect you from the psycho over there” He says looking down at you and you smile at him.

God, he was really tall.

“Thank god for that” You say.

Jamie tells them how big of a fan you are, and you tell them about the first time you remember hearing Chocolate and how you loved it straight away. You don’t notice the band giving each other knowing looks and you don’t see Matty silently laugh to himself.

After about 10 minutes, your pass to enter the building is delivered up to the door and Jamie collects it for you. After he gives it to you, you clip it on your belt loop along with your flat keys, and then Jamie shakes your hand again and apologises because he has to leave.

“You have my number in case you have any more questions, but I’ll leave you in the very capable hands of the boys. It was a pleasure to meet you Y/N” Jamie says, and you say your goodbyes to him at the door.

Once he’s gone and the door is closed, you turn to Matty who’s grinning at you. You grin back and half run towards him before you stretch your arms out to embrace him.

You hug him tightly, probably for a second too long, and say “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much” into his ear. You feel Matty’s arms tighten around you as you go on, but you genuinely don’t know how to handle yourself at this moment in time.

When you eventually pull away from him, Matty looks into your eyes and he’s about to say something when Ross interrupts you.

“Hey Y/N…” Ross says, and you smile and turn towards him stepping closer to the other boys. “So, we heard what you and your friend got up to once upon a time” Ross grins at you and your face visibly drops.

You turn towards Matty and send him an evil glare, then you put your hands over your eyes. Embarrassment wasn't even the word.

“Oh my god” You sigh. When you peak at them again you look between the three in front of you and say, “I was like Fifteen okay, I can’t be held responsible for that. My friend is much worse than me I swear… She still has a poster of you up in her room”

“Ooo, makes me wonder what shit you have of us up in your bedroom” Matty says raising his eyebrows suggestively at you.

You just shake your head and flip two fingers in his direction. The other lads laugh at that before you all take a seat on the settees.

Adam and Ross sit next to each other and George and Matty take a sofa each. You see Matty pat the seat next to him insisting you join him, but you smirk at him as you take a seat next to George. Matty sends you a death glare and the other guys laugh.

“I fucking love her already” George chuckles and you look at him with bright eyes.

“Awh yes, best buddy George” You say and raise your hand for a high five which he quickly returns.

Childish of you to do, but George likes it. They all certainly needed someone around here to keep them all alive.

You slip into easy conversation with them all and they seem genuinely happy to answer any questions you had. After an hour, you decided it was probably best to let them get back to whatever they were doing before you disturbed them.

“I better leave you guys to it” You say, standing up.

You head to the window to at the beautiful sunset that’s illuminating Manchester in different shades of orange and yellow. It really was stunning, you were glad you lived in such a beautiful city.

“Nah, come and sit down” Matty says sternly, evidently not wanting you to leave.

“Yeah, tell us about yourself” Ross says, and Adam nods his head.

“Please” George says pats the seat next to him.

“Only if I can see if your hair is as soft as it looks?” You laugh and walk back towards him.

George laughs at that, but he gestures towards his hair and says, “Go for it”

You laugh and run your fingers through it. It really was quite soft.

“Oh my god, it’s so much better than Matty’s” You say and Matty looks at you, completely offended.

“You’re a fucking liar” Matty states and you laugh take your seat beside George again.

“I’m better in every way” George says nonchalantly in his low voice, and everyone except Matty starts laughing.

When the laughter subsides, Adam says, “So come on Y/N, tell us more about you”

“Erm…” You think for a second. “There’s not much to me really other than photography and music if I’m honest” You say, shrugging your shoulders.

“And a hair fetish apparently” Matty adds and the boys laugh.

You just shrug your shoulders because who doesn’t like messing with someone’s hair. You were certain Matty did.

“Play any instruments?” George asks and you shake your head disappointed with yourself.

You also feel slightly conscious that they are all talented and you just work with a camera that anyone could use. It was quite a daunting prospect when you thought about it like that, so you cast your mind away from it.

“Not unless you count the recorder in Year 2” You joke, before telling them honestly, “I do want to learn how to play guitar at some point though”

“Oh, she’s a drunk as well” Matty states suddenly and you groan.

“Right…” You say looking between the other boys, feeling the need to explain. “I told him about my Uni days, and he thinks I’m a pisshead… To clarify I only do that now on proper nights out, not every other night anymore”

“Shall we go out tonight?” Ross asks enthusiastically and looks around at you all.

All of them are now nodding looking very enthusiastic about their new plan. You just watch them like a game of tennis, seeing how all of them reacted to the question.

“Only if we can go to that bar that I’ve been wanting to go in for ages” Adam says, and they all agree either verbally or by nodding their head.

“You up for it Y/N?” Adam asks looking at you hopefully and you shrug your shoulders and nod.

“I’ve not got anything better to do” You smile at him and his face is now beaming.

He was just as precious as you’d imagined.

“Let’s drink the beers that we have here and then go down then, yeah?” George asks getting up and you all mumble in agreement.

George goes into one of the rooms that you assume has a kitchen in because he returns with 5 cans of Budweiser that are chilled. You need to prepare yourself to be in the mood for lager, it definitely wasn't your favourite.

You thank him when he gives you yours and you crack it open. You take a sip as it begins to fizz up and release a sigh of relief as the cool liquid travels down your throat.

“I formally apologise now for anything I do tonight… This is your warning, if you insist on getting me completely wankered. Please don’t have me sacked because of my drunken antics” You tell them, and they all laugh drinking their own drinks.

The conversation between you all feels easy and not forced which you’re happy about. They include you in what their talking about and make you feel like a part of their group which you thought was really kind of them, considering you’d just met.

Before you knew it your first can was gone and you get up with George to get the another for each of you. You look towards the doors as you get up and the drummer seems to notice this.

“Oh yeah, should probably show you around” He says before leading you to the other closed off rooms.

One led to a decent sized kitchen, another led to an office, and the other contained a single bed that led to the bathroom. George told you that they had put a bed in there so if anyone needed a break they could just go and sleep if they wanted to.

Once you got the beers, you accidentally dropped one that was under your arm and George looked at you as he closed fridge.

“That one can be Matty’s” You smirk, picking it up and he nodded his head in agreement.

“Again, I fucking love you” George says and you laughed as you left the room with 3 of the cans in your hands.

“I know, I’m brilliant” You joke as you head back out.

You hand Adam and Ross their new cans and put Matty’s on the table because he’s not finished his other one yet.

You take your seat next to George and crack your new can open when he gives it you and take a drink as if nothing is about to happen. George has taken his phone out and you can see him pretending to type, when in reality he’s got his camera ready to video Matty.

You start chatting to Matty, about nothing in particular, to distract him from the obviously dinted can. George has somehow got Ross and Adam in on it because they also keep Matty talking.

Every time he looks anywhere near the can, they made him look at something else. They seemed to grab his attention easily which was always good when trying to distract someone.

You hold your breath when he picks up the can whilst he’s answering Adams question. Upon hearing it crack open though, Matty is met with a spray of lager that goes all over his face and hoodie.

You and the rest of the boys burst out laughing. You laugh so much that you have tears threatening to spill down your face. The other boys are making it funnier though, because they are cackling loudly.

You’d never been so thankful you’d drop something in your life.

Matty looked displeased with life which just causes your laughter to increase. You watch as he places the can back down and he lifts the bottom of his tattoo to wipe his face dry.

You discretely looked at his torso and spotted the ‘We Are Kings’ tattoo disappear beneath his jeans. You love that Drive Like I Do lyric, so it was really mesmerising to see up close.

However, you were brought back to reality when Matty threw his empty can at George, which clipped the back of his head.

“Hey! It wasn’t me” George exclaims, as he stopped the recording. Matty looked from George to you and you let out a laugh.

“Fuck you” He says as he begins to drink his other can.

When Matty eventually dries off, you all made your way downstairs and out of the building. You walked next to Adam, talking to him about playing the guitar.

You weren’t really paying attention to where you were headed because Adam had just promised you that he would teach you how to play the guitar whilst you were away with them and you couldn’t wait. You may as well learn from the best if he was offering you his services.

Before you knew it, you were outside the bar that Adam had been wanting to visit and it was coincidently where you work. It was getting quite busy which wasn’t unusual for 7pm on a Friday.

It was usually a lot busier at this time actually. So you all may actually get some seats.

You didn’t say anything to the boys about you working there because you just wanted to enjoy your night with them. You didn't really want them to think any less of you because you worked in a bar and they were millionaires.

You all went over to the corner of the bar and took up the free stools that were there because all the tables were full. You smiled at some regulars that you saw around, but the bar was quite busy which lead for them to become distracted by others.

You took off your jacket and lay it on the back of your seat. You were sat in between Matty and Ross, whilst Adam and George sat on the other side, creating a sort of L shape. You waited for Alec or someone else who was on tonight to come over to serve you.

“What do you all want then?” You ask. “I’m feeling like a vodka now” You tell them.

All of them say that they fancy a whisky which makes you furrow your eyebrows. You turn to Matty and ask, “Has it started tasting nice now or something?”

Matty chuckles a little at that. His eyes are bright when he replies, “No, but sometimes it’s better when its drowned in coke”

“Could just choose something you like” You say and you point at a bottle of red, “The merlot is quite nice”

“Don’t want to be wine drunk around you just let Love” Matty smiles before George collars him with a different conversation.

After a few minutes of no one coming over to serve you, you decide to ‘fuck it’ and get up and do it yourself.

You slide off your seat and walk round the other boys and lift up the side of the bar which was about a foot away from them. Once behind the bar, you look up at all of them and they are looking at you with shocked faces.

You get four tumblers from under the bar and line them up in front of them and grab the Jack Daniels from behind you.

“Erm… I don’t think your allowed to be behind there” Adam says, and you look up and smile at him.

“Don’t worry, I work here” You say as you pour a double into each of the glasses. “Coke?” You ask them, when you look up at them and you see the relief on all their faces.

You finish off their drinks and pour yourself a healthy one as they start sipping on their own. You then ask Matty to pass you your phone from your jacket, wanting to pay for your drinks with your Apple Pay.

The curly haired brunette happily obliges and takes it out for you as you go over to the till to see how much the drinks are going to cost you.

Once Matty once again has ahold on your phone, he shows it to the other lads. They all watch him as he types in the passcode and they all snigger.

However, their chuckles stop when they see your home screen. Matty turns the device back towards him and he smiles at the memory of him taking the picture.

He thought it was cute you had it as you home screen, but he was certainly going to bully you for it.

When you come back over with the card machine in your hand, Matty smirks as he turns your phone towards you, and you see the picture.

“Oh my god, that’s a story for you all” You say loudly over the noise of the bar. You tell them all about Ryan as you pay for the drinks with your Apple Pay and how he wouldn’t let it go until you had evidence of your ‘boyfriend’.

“Honestly I’m so glad you took them to prank her. He left after I showed him that” You tell them and Matty looked at you in disbelief.

“What a load of bullshit” Matty says smirking at you.  

“I swear down it happened, I have a witness” You say as you make eye contact with Alec and wave him over.

You see he’s wearing a short sleeved black top with blue jeans which looked really good on him. You smile at him when he comes closer to you and he hugs you from behind.

“What’s my favourite employee doing here on her day off” Alec asks before kissing your cheek.

You lean into him, smiling at his affection as you focus on the receipt coming out of the card machine. Although, that meant that you didn’t see Matty’s face fall.

“I’m here to get pissed and to tell you some awesome news, but I need you to back me up here” You tell him and move out of his grip and stand to the side.

“You remember that guy earlier in the week who wouldn’t leave me alone?” You question him.

Alec replies, “That Ryan guy?”

“Yeah… Tell them how much of a creep he was” You say gesturing to the guys in front of you as you put the receipt into the till and go back around the other side of the bar and take your seat.

You tune in as Alec asks you, “Didn’t he say he’d be back tonight?”

“Oh shit, yeah” You say and turn towards Matty. “You better play along if he starts bothering me again” You tell him, and he puts his arm around back, holding onto your waist.

“Don’t worry, Love. I’ll sort him out” Matty says and you snigger at him, leaning into him slightly.

“What’s the news by the way?” Alec asks you.

“Oh yeah, you know that band I like?” You ask him.

He questions you curiously, “The 1987’s or whatever?”

“Yeah that one…” You giggle to yourself looking around the boys next to you who also seem to be chuckling except for Matty.

“Yeah, well I’m now their new photographer” You say and show him your ID pass.

“Oh my, Y/N this is the best fucking news ever… I’m so happy for you” Alec says leaning over the bar to kiss your cheek again.

You feel Matty’s grip on your waist tighten for a second but pay no real attention to it. You introduce Alec to them all and Alec insists all the drinks they are getting tonight are on the house.

“Alec no, I’m treating them because they gave me a job” You tell him, and he gives you a stern look.

“Well yours are free so that makes theirs too if you’re getting them” He says then looks towards the band, “Just promise me you’ll take care of her for me” and they all nod and the evening continues on.

Matty’s is still holding onto your waist and it finds its way back there each time you get up to serve them all another drink.

By 9pm you were very drunk, and you were having a really nice night. The guys also seemed to be having a good time and you found yourself admiring how they were together. You could see the love and respect they had for each other and it made your heart warm.

Earlier in the night, they they had made you give them your phone so they could all put their numbers in so you could always be in contact with them. They passed it between each other as you chatted to them about anything that came to your drunken mind.

When Matty entered his number in and sent himself a text, which none of the others seemed to do. When he gave you your phone back though you gave him a dirty look because he had inputted his name as Daddy in your contacts.

“You’re fucking disgusting” You giggle, which was a common occurrence when you were drunk, and he sticks his tongue back out at you.

As you’re back behind the bar pouring them their 7th double of the night you spot familiar blonde hair walking towards the bar and you freeze. You get all their attention quickly and tell them to play along whilst frantically saying, “That guys here”

They all look at you confused but then you look at Matty dead in the eyes and say, “Play. Along.”

You down the rest of your drink before pouring yourself a new one which was definitely more than a double. The boys laugh when they see you put a lot less coke in than vodka and you take a mouthful before the inevitable takes place.

“Hey Beautiful” Ryan shouts towards you as he sits down 2 foot away from Matty.

You can tell that he’s already drunk. You roll your eyes at the George and Adam before looking over.

“Richard, right?” You say, wanting him to piss off.

You really didn’t want to deal with that bullshit right now. That and drunk you wasn't particularly fond of people like him

“Ryan” He shouts over the noisy room. “Get me a drink Darling” He says moving slightly closer to Matty.

“Sorry Richard, not on tonight… I’m here for pleasure not business” You say taking a long sip of your drink, but you nearly spit it out when you see Ross having to turn around because he’s laughing.

“Stop it” You whispered leaning across to them all, each one of them now chuckling.

“I’m usually sober handling these idiots but you’ve all got me drunk and it’s worse because I’m a nicer person like this” You say slowly, making sure you get your words out.

“Come on Darlin’, it’s only a drink… Join me for one” He says, and you shake your head drinking some more of your drink.

“Again, sorry but I have a boyfriend” You say sternly looking at him then down to Matty and he winks back at you.

You leave the bar and go to take your seat again. But before you could do so, Ryan started again.

“Come on, he’s not here… He won’t care if we have some fun” He says, and you stand still giving him a dirty look.

“I think he will” Matty says turning on his stool and pulling you towards him.

You stand in-between his legs and his arms are wrapped around your lower back keeping you in place. Your gaze meets Matty’s and you see that his beautiful brown eyes were now a little bloodshot from the alcohol.

You smile into the embrace to keep the charade going. You put your hands on his chest and grasp at his hoodie whilst looking into his eyes and Matty can see the humour in yours.

You bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing and look back over to Ryan.You see Alec pass him a drink and he downs half of it. His blonde hair is greasy, and he looks as if he’s homeless.

“Don’t suppose you wanna share her man?” Ryan asks Matty and you have to look away from him. You make eye contact towards Adam, George, and Ross and all their eyes are wide.

You press your lips together shaking your head. They can see how angry you are getting, and your grasp tightens on Matty’s hoodie in an attempt to control yourself.

Matty leans forwards and says, “Definitely not” and he then attaches his lips to your neck.

Your eyes go wide, and George starts laughing from the shock on your face. ‘Help me’ You mouth to them, but George laughs more, and Ross and Adam look away and taking mouthfuls of their drinks.

You pull back slightly from Matty but all he does is move to the other side of your neck so now you can’t even get help from the others. Matty’s arms tighten around your waist so your pressed against him completely.

You feel Matty’s curls tickle your jaw and you start to softly giggle trying to make it more believable but you can’t deny how your body starts reacting to Matty’s actions. Once he’s finished marking the base of your neck he litters kisses up until he’s at your ear and then whispers in a husky voice, “Let’s make this good.”

You giggle as you glance towards Ryan who is now just angrily watching the interaction and Matty just goes for it. He looks between your eyes and lips, then without hesitation, he attaches his lips to yours. You immediately go to pull away from him but his arms that were around your waist are now around your neck, keeping you in place.

You realise you’re not going to get out of this one, so you just let it happen, not that you really minded. Matty’s is gentle at first but then the kiss quickly becomes aggressive and your drunken mind didn’t seem to care at all. One of his arms travels down your body and it slowly came to rest on your arse.

This makes you giggle and Matty used it to his advantage. His tongue had found its way inside your mouth and you smirk into the kiss a little. He really was putting on a show.

Matty tasted like cigarettes and whisky, a combination that seemed to suit him perfectly. He was addicting and enticing, and your drunken self wasn’t getting enough causing you to pull him closer.

You could hear your heart beating rapidly in your ears, but it was quickly replaced by the sound of a smashing glass. You opened your eyes to see that Ryan had just thrown his drink over the bar in a fit of rage and you pull yourself away from Matty.

The room had gone completely silent and all that could be heard was the background music and now whispers of people around asking what had happened.

“Get the fuck out of my bar right now, you fucking psycho!” You say sternly to Ryan.

You even make a move to go towards him and scream in his face but Matty, who’s now stood up, holds you back. You can hear Alec also shouting for him to get out.

“Whatever” Ryan says as he stands up from his stool. His blue eyes lock with Matty’s brown ones and he says, “Have fun with your whore”

You lose it. Matty feels you lunge towards Ryan as you start screaming “I’m not a fucking whore just because no one wants to fuck you. Just because I have fucking standards and you look like a fu…”

You would continue your sentence but Matty’s hand has gone over your mouth silencing you. Ross also had his hand around your waist now, keeping you in place, not letting you get any closer to him.

Matty moves around you, leaving Ross and now George and Adam by your side to calm you down. You can hear other people around the bar shouting at Ryan to get out, but you focus your eyes on Matty.

You see him twist the rings on his fingers as he walks over and the next think you hear is a loud thud as Matty’s fist connects to Ryan’s face. As Ryan hits the ground, the room starts applauding and you see other grown men picking Ryan up off the floor and throw him outside. You watch as he stumbles down the street as you are bombarded with questions asking if you’re alright.

Your once dizzy mind is now balanced as you feel completely sober. The adrenaline pumping through your system had started to disperse and the lads were fretting around you.

All you can do though is look at Matty’s hand worriedly when he comes back over. It’d already began to bruise, and you can’t help but ask, “Are you okay?” in a worried tone.

“I’m fine” He says and pulls you into a hug.

You hug him back and feel yourself calm down a little. When you pull away you look towards the others and apologise.

“I’m so sorry, this is all my fault.” You start and they all start saying things like ‘No it wasn’t’ or ‘It’s not your fault that he was a wanker’ but you just continue to apologise.

“Alright, enough apologising” Matty tells you and then looks towards Alec saying, “Can we please get some JägerBombs over here?” Alec does as he’s asked and within the next minute you each have two Jägers in front of you.

“Come on Y/N” George says. “Can’t let that arsehole ruin our night” He says as you all pick up the first one.

You feel at ease again as the alcohol flows down your throat again and when you immediately pick up the other one and down that before the other boys, they all let out a cheer.

As the night continues you end up all laughing like you had been doing before the disturbance. Matty’s arm was around your back grasping onto your waist and you had thankfully not left any lipstick on his face.

Yours somehow had stayed on all night and still looked presentable, which was a miracle. At 10:30 your phone started ringing and it was your best friend.

You immediately answered and she was asking where you were. She had been in your flat for a few hours and your flat mate Chris was beginning to get annoyed, even though she was just in your room.

“I’m so sorry I totally forgot, I’ll come now” You half giggle down the phone and hang up.

“You have to go?” George questions and you nod at him with sad eyes as you slip your jacket on.

“Where do you have to go? We’ll walk you back” Adam asked, and the others nodded in agreement.

“Just home, but you don’t have to it’s only ten minutes away” You say before downing the rest of your drink.

However, the boys have already started putting their jackets on. You should have known they’d be gentlemen about it.

As you start to walk home, you link arms with George and you chat to them about random things about their concerts that you remember. They chuckle at your stories and they tell you about some fun ones from backstage.

When you eventually get to your block of flats, you decide invite them up.

“I have a bottle of vodka that needs to be drank, if you’re interested?” You offer them, and Ross runs towards the door before anyone has even agreed to anything.

When you start to unlock your door, you pre-warn them about you friend. “By the way, my best friend is here and she’s a bit obsessed with you so… I’ll warn her but if she goes a bit mental, I apologise”

They follow you in and you tell them to take a seat on your sofas. You walk to your bedroom and open the door and stop dead before you even enter.

“Are you fucking joking?” You ask as you see your best friend lay on your bed.

She smirks at you and you look around your room in shock. She had lived up to her plan of a 1975 themed night by hanging all of your tops that you had of theirs around your room.

She had candles lit around the room and she had your Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships vinyl playing in the background. She’d even made a sign that read ‘Poison Me Daddy’ and there was also masks of their faces were pinned onto your walls.

“Congratulations” She grins sitting up and running over to give you a hug. You hug her back, but you were still in complete shock.

“I didn’t say you could build a fucking shrine to them in my room!” You say and she just laughs at you.

“I have something to tell you” You say as you pull away and she looks at you excitedly.

“Right, you can’t freak out okay… You have to promise me” You tell her and she pinkie swears to you that she won’t.

“Okay, well after the interview Matty and the boys made me go out for drinks with them which is why I’m so late” You say, and she begins to get excited, but you hold your finger up to pause her, “And they may or may not be in the lounge right now”

She lets out a scream and you shush her immediately.

“Don’t fucking embarrass me out there” You tell her sternly but then the door starts to open.

You hear Matty’s voice behind you asking, “Y/N, where’s the vod…” followed by a loud laugh.

Your friend stands wide eyed with her hand over her mouth and you give her death stare.

“Lads come here, her room is a fucking shrine to us” Matty says loudly and you turn around and start packing all of the shit away your friend had laid out.

“Matty Healy’s in your bedroom” Your friend says, and you flip her your middle finger as you snatch down the different tops that are hung up on the walls.

Matty walks further into the room and sits on your bed laughing and when the other boys look through your door. You stand there with your shirts on and begin blowing out the candles.

“This evidently wasn’t my doing” You tell them as you shove the tops back into your wardrobe.

They all laugh and Matty says, “Whatever, fucking knew you loved us this much” as he lies back on your bed staring at the ceiling.

“No, she loves you that much” You say pointing over to your best friend who is stood next to your turntable which is currently playing ‘I always wanna die sometimes’.

How correct it was at this moment in time for you.

She waves towards them and introduces herself and they all say hello back. You can’t hack them all being in your bedroom though, so you need to break them up before you get overwhelmed.

“Y/B/F, will you go and get my vodka and sort their drinks out please, whilst I clean this shit up?” You ask not being able to hold back your smile and she laughs telling them to follow her.

The boys at the door allow her through and follow after her but Matty stays on your bed. You ignore him and put your vinyl back into its sleeve and slip it back into its original place before you start blowing out more candles.

As the room goes dark, you say to Matty, “Come on, out”

You hear him groan and a ruffle. Once your eyes have adjusted to the darkness you see him there, still lying down on your bed.

“Fine I’ll leave you here” You say walking out of your room and closing the door behind you.

The only thing you could say was that you were extremely thankful that you had tidied your room the day before.

After a few minutes, Matty joins you all in the lounge and you had all started drinking again and subsequently started making a lot of noise. Your giggles echo through the room and after an hour your roommate shouts through his door, “Can you two keep the gang bang in there a bit quieter, some of us have to be up at Seven!”

You rolled your eyes at Chris’ outburst which the band saw and tried to retain a laugh.

“We’ll try Chris but just to warn you were fucking up against your wall in a minute so it could get a bit louder” You shout back, and everyone bursts out laughing like teenagers getting drunk for the first time.

Eventually when they settle back down, they finish off their drinks and then realise the vodka bottle is now finished. They decide it’s time for them to head home.

Your friend has managed to drink herself to sleep despite her favourite people in the world being here with her. You’re a good hostess though and you stand up as they put their coats on and walk to the door.

You embrace Adam in a hug and kiss him on the cheek, and before he walks out of the door you make him promise you again that he’ll teach you how to play the guitar. You hug Ross and kiss his cheek too and when George walks over you look up at him. He wraps his arms around you and picks you up spinning you both around and you giggle loudly.

When he places you on the ground, he says, “Can’t wait to spend every day annoying you” and you laugh.

“Don’t worry Georgie, I’m sure it’ll be the other way round” You laugh and then turn your attention towards Matty.

He’s stood rubbing his now purple knuckles and you take his hand gently. “I’m sorry” You tell him sincerely, giving him a sad smile.

As he pulls you into a hug Matty says in your ear, “Don’t worry it’s fine, stuck my tongue down your throat so it’s worth it”

He laughs as you release him from the hug and his laugh gets louder when you playfully shove him out of the door.

“Thanks for an awesome night guys, can’t wait to work with you” You smile as they make their way down the corridor towards the lift.

“See you Monday bright and early” Matty shouts back and blows a kiss your way.

You shake your head and wave before going back into your flat and closing the door behind you. You put a blanket over your best friend before you make your way into your room.

You strip off and put your baggy top on and get in bed and let out a small laugh at everything that had happened today.

When you woke up this morning you never imagined so much could change in one day.

It was crazy. After that though, your eyes grew heavy and you let sleep take over you, the smile never disappeared from your face.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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