#there is such an inherent cruelty and inherent ableism to such a mindset... not everyone can work

[meruhenshoujo]

muslimintp-1999-girl: #seriously the issue is that capitalism has made single income households almost impossible/difficult and that's why people end up treating#each other like a burden when what they should be aiming for is an economic system that doesn't view people as disposables/burden & belief#that everyone should have basic human rights such as housing regardless of their financial status#it is so sad that owning a house these days is so out of reach for most people

Precisely!

Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.

[fayenomad]

As an allistic ADHDer, for me being a neurotypical is more of a mindset than just person without any mental divergence to me.

So many posts and frustrations around neurotypicals and their ableism come from an assumption that anyone who ostracizes you for your mental disorder must be NT, but how can you really know it?

For me, "neurotypical" is anyone who pushes conformism and ableism onto you. Anyone who makes you feel like there's something inherently wrong with you. Anyone who infantilizes you and puts you on display for others to laugh at just because they don't understand who you are.

That can also be any neurodivergent person. Someone uninformed about their own condition, someone with internalised ableism. People with NPD, BPD and CPTSD can also mask, work hard to fit in and give you a very hard time if they're not in the healing process. Especially narcissists who literally larp at being neurotypical so much that they even get real neurotypical people to follow them and make excuses for them.

Most importantly, if there's anything about you that derives from the norm in the way that is visible, and it can be easily confused as a part of your personality rather than a symptom, there will be always someone who will give you crap for it. You don't know their reasons and what is going on in their head.

That doesn't, of course, erase the fact that neurodivergent people, especially autistics, face systemic oppresion in a neurotypical-based society. That still doesn't change the fact that in my country it's extremely hard to find a doctor who takes ADHD seriously, and I have no chance of any accomodations even with diagnosis.

The world is still designed for neurotypical brains but every person who is an asshole to you over your symptoms is not automatically NT.

It's really fun to talk shit about neurotypicals and their ways of making you feel like you don't belong but their core issue is not them being an NT but their insecurity and unhealthy ways of coping with it.

As a neurodivergent person you simply trigger insecure people way more often than neurotypical person. It's like being a walking mirror on which everyone projects their unresolved shit onto. And that includes other neurodivergents too.

I'm not encouraging anyone to just make excuses for other people's cruelty because "you never know if they're really neurotypical!" but rather to take it as an individual issue instead of slipping into "us vs them" mentality.

I'm spreading hate on neurotypical ideals every day but what is really happening is not a warfare between neurotypical and neurodivergent people but rather a competition at "who is most normal" and who deserves most respect. Some people care about that contest more than others but that doesn't make them neurotypical right on the spot.

What came to my attention is I've always been given most crap not even by most "normal" people but by people who are just as bad at socialising as me or even worse. People who are truly social simply never cared about me in the first place. There's something deeply personal in how some people choose to pick on you over you being different from crowd…when the crowd itself often couldn't care less.

With all that said, I understand that what I'm saying will most likely resonate most with people who are allistic but still neurodivergent, as I share the same communication style with neurotypical people. Autistics have yet another layer of difficulty which is people misunderstanding them on whole another level - this post is not my way of invalidating their experience.