#they have annoying traits - newsflash so does every other character | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

arrowheadproductions · 7 years ago

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The Seven + their Hogwarts houses? Perhaps some Percabeth/Jasiper in the mix?

Considering I spend a lot of time conspiring where these guys would be house-wise, I have to go for it. You can disagree with me if you’d like some aren’t totally set in stone, but some are (for me, anyway).

House Parties (Rated K+)

I can’t take the blame for the vigorous debate that’s buzzing all through camp, not this time anyway. A lot of controversy has surrounded me since I showed up 6 years ago. Actually, my existence itself is considered a controversy. So, I know what it’s like to be the black sheep and have everyone arguing over you. It’s kinda been my life for a while.

This time? Not my fault, because all of you know by now that I’m not the kind of guy that starts a book club, let alone an entire discourse on a particular book.

Before you ask, no, Annabeth isn’t responsible here either. I’m not just saying that because she’s my girlfriend and she’ll get mad that I documented my blaming her in physical writing for all of you to read. It’s really not her fault this time.

This? The wildfire that has metaphorically and physically ignited across the campground? That is the fault of one Leo Valdez. Ironically, he didn’t start the physical fire, even though he totally could. That was Clarisse, but I’ll get into that later.

It all started when Leo was talking about how the camp library had Greek editions of the Harry Potter books, which were popular to pretty much everyone in our age range. Grover compares me to Harry all the freaking time, which can be annoying, but I’ll admit, the parallels exist. I know the Stoll brothers get prank ideas from the twins in those books (which is pretty unfortunate for the rest of us). Get Annabeth talking about the differences between the books and the movies and you have an entire evening’s worth of conversation dedicated to solely that. It’s mostly one-sided, but I like to watch her get all heated and passionate about a subject. Her cheeks flush and her chest heaves from breathing- sorry, easily distracted.

“Man, this Hogwarts place sounds awesome.” He said as we all lounged in a clump on the beach.

After everything we’ve been through, you can’t blame us for all hanging out together. No one understands the experiences we’ve endured except each other and we take comfort in that. We all practically laid on top of each other.

“I’ve never read them.” I said.

Piper lifted her head from where she’d been laying across Jason’s lap. “The shame!”

“That’s what I said!” Annabeth looked back at me from her position between my legs.

“I’ve been a little busy with the world almost ending twice.”

“Newsflash, Seaweed Brain, I was there alongside you practically every step of the way. And I still reread the series.”

“Well, you’re a nerd.” I poked her sides so she squirmed.

“Harry Potter is not nerdy. It’s super mainstream.” Jason said. “Even I’ve read them.”

“It’s my first time reading them.” Leo said. “And I’m digging every second.”

“They actually didn’t have Harry Potter at Camp Jupiter.” Hazel said. She was building a sandcastle and I was super tempted to fill the moat she was making with actual water.

“So, you’ve never read it either.” I said.

“No, I have. It just took me a really long time with the dyslexia.” She shrugged.

“See, Percy? And she’s from the 1930′s.” Piper said.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

“What house do you guys think you’d be in?” Frank asked.

I knew this much about the series. Annabeth talked about it enough for some of it to sink into my thick skull. Grover and Juniper did a couple’s reading of it (I didn’t know that was a thing) and he IM’ed me a couple of times about their reading pace. I made him swear on the River Styx to never give this idea to Annabeth.

“I’d be a Gryffindor.” He said confidently.

Piper rolled her eyes. “Literally everyone says that.”

“But I’m brave.”

“We could all easily be classified as brave.” Frank said. “There’s more to it than that.”

He sighed and counted on his fingers. “I’d say I’m passionate, trusting, stubborn, honest, and blunt.”

“But you’re also cunning, adaptable, bold, and charming.” Piper said. “And those are all traits of a Slytherin.”

He scrunched his face up. “I don’t want to be them! They’re all doom and gloom. Save that for the son of Hades.”

“Not all Slytherins are bad. Most are good.” Hazel objected. “I think I’m one, after all. That, or Gryffindor, actually.”

“Agreed.” Annabeth said. “I’m a Ravenclaw.”

“Well, duh.” Piper laughed. “If you’d said anything else, I’d call you delusional.”

“That’s the brainy house, right?” I asked.

“It’s more about wisdom, wit, and curiosity, but there are intellectual components involved.” She said.

“So… Yes.”

She nudged me in the ribs, but I wrapped my arms around her waist to pull her closer. “All right, Wise Girl, I know you’re dying to analyze me to death and pick which house I’d be in.”

“Sad to say you two would be split up, house-wise.” Jason chuckled and wrapped his arm around Piper. “Whereas, Pipes and I would both be Gryffindors.”

“I could definitely see myself in Slytherin too, though.” She pointed out. “The way I use my charmspeak is definitely cunning and using my own abilities/devices to manipulate others is definitely ambitious enough to be considered Slytherin material.”

“Percy and I would do fine as a Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff power couple. We might even both make prefect status.”

“Hufflepuff?” I said. “Why do I have to be in the house that sounds like a Dr. Seuss character?”

“Sounds like Snuffaluffagus to me.” Frank said. “If it helps, I’d probably be Hufflepuff too.”

“See? You’d have a friend.” Piper smirked.

“He’s a Hufflepuff. They make friends super easily.” Annabeth turned to me. “Which you do, by the way.”

“Yeah, but I’m also all of the things Leo said too! And I’m funny.”

“Every house is funny in their own way.” Jason said. “That’s meaningless.”

“Plus, I didn’t realize you were funny.” Leo said. “Like, at all.”

“I’m funny!” I protested.

“I think you’re funny.” Hazel shrugged. “I mean, I can’t always get the humor, but I’m going to chalk that up to time period differences.”

I groaned. Annabeth kissed me on the cheek. “Look at it this way, Seaweed Brain: loyalty and dependability are like your trademark qualities. Bravery, yes, but your fatal flaw is literally the embodiment of the Hufflepuff house.”

It was tough to argue with that. For one thing, I didn’t know enough about any of this to actually come up with some good points of my own. Second, she leaned back so her head was resting against my shoulder and the fresh smell of her shampoo made it hard for me to concentrate on much else.

Leo fell backwards into the sand, book clutched to his chest. Look, I know reading is a popular past-time, but I found it really hard to believe any book could do that.

Frank, on the other hand, did not share this sentiment with me.

“Did you get to the ending?”

“Yeah.” Leo said.

I’d seen the movies before, because I’m not an animal, so I finally felt engaged in the conversation at hand.

“Dumbledorf dying?” I asked and Leo shot up to his feet faster than a jack rabbit. The guy looked like he was ready to murder me and cry all in one go. Everyone gasped and I could feel Annabeth putting some distance between us so she could properly glare at me. I honestly had no idea what I’d did wrong. They all wanted Harry Potter discourse and this was what they got. All I did was try and talk about the book.

“Come on, man!” Jason sighed.

“Does that not happen? Is he not killed by Snake or whatever his name is?”

“Leo, cover your ears and go finish the series away from this moron.” Piper said.

“HE’S WHAT?”

“Um, did I say his name wrong or something?” I asked, growing very nervous about the way they were all looking at me. Did I have a poisonous spider on my face? Or did I accidentally just unveil a new life-threatening prophecy? Did my breath smell?

“Well, yeah, but that’s not the point!” Annabeth scowled, eyes stormy.

“What is the point?”

“You just…” Leo trembled and it looked like his whole life was falling apart. “You just ruined the series for me.”

“What?”

Everyone groaned.

“That happens in the end of book 6.” Frank said, taking pity on my soul while everyone else continued to alternate between shooting me glares and comforting looks to Leo.

“And?”

“I’M ON BOOK 1!” Leo tugged at his hair.

My eyes widened. “Oh… So you didn’t know… Oh, crap.”

“Yeah, oh crap! That’s one of the biggest moments in the series.” Annabeth said.

“He said he got to the ending! I thought he meant the ending of the whole series.”

“You didn’t even read the books!” Leo said.

“I’m sorry!” I said. “I saw the movies and-”

“-Oh, you’re one of those people.” Hazel sighed.

“I’m-I am never talking books with you guys ever again.” Leo said. “Not until I finish them anyway.”

“And we can just do it while Percy’s asleep or something.” Jason said. “Just to be safe.”

“Or you could all just watch the movies like normal people.” I suggested.

“Nope, still too dangerous. He’s spoiled shows for me before too.” Annabeth said. “Remember Dexter?”

“I saved you from having to watch that firsthand. That was noble,” I emphasized.

It didn’t seem to work, because she rolled her eyes. Still, she didn’t resist when I brought her hand to my mouth to kiss her knuckles. Instead, she laced our fingers. In our time of being together, she’d gotten really good at seeming annoyed with me while also finding it in her to be affectionate.

“What is this, book club?” Sneered Clarisse as she stormed the beaches.

“Apparently, yes.” I said. “Please tell me you want to duel or beat the crap out of me or something more fun?”

She rolled her eyes. “Why does Valdez look like he’s already crapped himself?”

“Because Percy told me Dumbledore dies?”

Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. “He what?”

“He told me that Dumbledore is killed by Snape!”

She stormed forward and for a moment, I thought she was going to kill me out of anger, so I tried to protect Annabeth, but it was nice to know that my girlfriend didn’t want me to die over this, because she seemed pretty set on staying in front of me anyway.

Instead, Clarisse grabbed Leo by the shirt and hoisted him upwards so his feet were dangling. We all sat stunned for a moment and probably all very confused at the change of events.

“I HAVEN’T GOTTEN THERE YET!” She hollered in his face and I pitied him, because that probably did not smell good.

All of the color drained from Leo’s face in realization that in the wake of his own trauma, he’d just done the same thing to Clarisse. In an effort to repay him for ruining a hallmark book series for him, I decided it was only fair to divert Clarisse’s wrath to me. I was fairly used to it, anyway

“I’m just surprised you can read, Clarisse.” I said as I stood up from my tangled seating with Annabeth, who was looking up at me in confusion and also with a “I like your face not pounded in” expression.

Her mean mug turned to me and she turned as red as a tomato. “What did you say to me, Jackson?”

“I mean, we would have invited you, but we didn’t feel like sticking solely to picture books.” This was incredibly ironic of me to say, because I usually stuck to comic books, which were basically just picture books.

She dropped Leo into the sand and barreled towards me.

“See you guys later!” I called over my shoulder as she chased me. She resembled the Minotaur when she was angry and determined like this. I figured now might now be the time to bring that to her attention.

And that, my friends, is how Clarisse ended up starting a fire in an attempt to sacrifice me to the Gods. They didn’t accept the sacrifice, because they prefer regular food and all feared I’d be a bit too fishy for their tastes.

And no matter what anyone else tells you, it was all Leo’s fault.

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