#they have. they are going through stuff

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

"consuming media" is such an overstatement. at best I'm sipping it

[lil-lemon-snails]

sometimes you just need to hear it v some stills below the cut v

[hinamie]

unconditionally

[bet-on-me-13]

Danny has to work off his Sentence

So! Danny isn't the King of the Infinite Realms. And he is not above the Law.

Sure, he has many friends in high places, and he did defeat the King in single combat, but that doesn't mean he is above the Law in the way The King would be.

And unfortunately for him, Walkers Laws do actually have some backing.

Not all of them. Some are just laws he placed over his Lair and surrounding Territory, which he is really nitpicky about, but the Big ones he touts are the Laws of the entire Zone set by the First King. Don't Tresspass on Lairs without an official challenge, don't End a Realms Being without permission, Don't bring Humans into the Zone without permission, etc.

And Danny has broken quite a few of them, meaning Walker is entirely in his rights to put him away for a few Thousand Years. Thankfully, there is an alternative.

Since Danny wasn't wanted for any major crimes, Walker offered a different path for him. Danny was still one of the Strongest Ghosts in the Zone, and as the Portal was technically his Grave he had full authority to use it however he liked, so if he ran a couple of errands for Walker, he could consider his Sentence served.

All he has to do was round up a few of the Trouble Makers that had escaped his grasp by virtue of being in the Living Realm, and he would forgive his previous crimes.

So, Danny took him up on the offer. It was better than being constantly hounded by Walkers Guards. The fact that he could beat them easily was moot, it was extremely annoying and he wanted it to stop.

So he was given his First list of targets, and went on his way.

Ra's "The Demons Head" Al Ghul, for Tresspassing on Ghost Zone Waste Dumping Grounds

Solomon Grundy, for continued use of copyrighted poem, requested by copyright holder post mortem

Vandal Savage, for failure to notify the proper authorities about his absence on the day of his intended death

Jack "The Joker" Napier, Special Request by 1000+ Ghosts for purposes of Vengeance, Torture, and general Catharsis.

...interesting list...maybe he should have this through a bit more...

[mikoworks]

Curly mood

[quadrantadvisor]

Even after learning their secret identities, the hero community always insisted that there was something inhuman about the bats. No one doubted that their intensive training had a lot to do with it, but it never quite explained how they could evade a Kryptonian's super senses, how they could melt into shadows, how they could function so long with little food, little rest, little oxygen if need be. Most people dismissed their uneasy feelings, but there was something strange about the bats, something uncanny, something that made them different from the arrows and other vanilla human members. And, slowly enough that no one really noticed, it was getting stronger.

Until one day, during a diplomatic meeting with the ruler of the Infinite Realms, when High King Phantom turned to Batman and his brood and literally brightened. "Oh! I didn't know you had liminal members!"

Or: through a variety of factors (proximity to death, their own death/near death experiences, exposure to the Lazarus Pits, the favor of Lady Gotham, immersion in Gotham's own cursed ambient ectoplasm, being a close knit group who continued to expose eachother, etc.) the batfamily have been becoming liminal/ecto-contaminated without noticing. The powers they're developing have been subtle, and align with the skills they expect to have, so no one brought it up when they started being able to hold their breath beyond human limitations, or got so sneaky that they literally seemed invisible, or had a lucky miss when they expected a bullet to go right through them. And they always exuded an unsettling aura of fear, so no one else thought anything was out of the ordinary either. By the time they meet Danny, Gotham counts as one of the most fiercely defended ghost haunts on the planet, with so many territorial liminals patrolling the streets.

[on-the-clear-blue]

So do yall know about Jon Breaks Bad News? Guy that calls people for other people to, y'know, break bad news, sometimes in a funny way sometimes for serious stuff...the reason why I am saying this is because like any other DP fan I have the urge to say "But what if my favorite ghost?"

--

Danny, l a ring down as he reads the message: Hello is this Jason?

Jason, fully still in "I cut off mafia boss heads and put them in a duffle bag" days: Who the fuck is this.

Danny, not even a little bothered: My name is Phantom, from Phantom breaks bad news, are you Jason?

Jason, honestly confused what is happening here: I...how did you get this number?

Danny, sipping a smoothie: i am just going to assume your Jason, Tim says that you broke into his house and beat him up in scaled panties, and that your whole gimmick is a rip off of the guy who killed you, B misses you and would still love you after all...why did you wear underwear while breaking into some guys house?

Jason, feeling like he just got flashed banged: Ex-fucking-scuse me? Tim that little bitch, I swear to- he fucking stole my dad and my fucking suit he doesn't get shit to say!

Danny, looking to Jazz off camera: So you broke inot the house to beat up the guy who slept with your dad and stole a suit? What was he going to a wedding?

Jason, feeling like he is having an aneurism: I...I am going to hang up.

Danny, stretching like a cat: Okay bye, love you.

Jason: confused sqawking before hanging up

Danny, dead pan looking to the camera: He didn't say it back.

---

Babs, infront of the computer in the clock tower: Keep going that way Batman, the target is just around the corner...hang on i am getting a call.

Danny, now floating upside down: Hi this is Phantom from Phanton breaks bad news, is this Barbara?

Babs, eyes widening as she scrambles to start tracing the call because its coming through the bat network: Who is this? How did you get on here?

Danny, looking to Sam and Tucker off camera: I just picked up the phone, are you Barbara? Because I have bad news for you.

Babs, getting frustrated because every time she finds an avenue of finding the caller, it goes dead a second later: It...it is, who is this?

Danny, watchingnas Tucker gets an evil smirk on his face, typing hard on his PDA: Like I said, my name is Phantom of Phantom breaks bad news, this message is from a dude named Jay? Saying, get your redheaded ass back home you can play with the leather clad bastard man later, you have a college exam later, your father would be disappointed. What are you doing for college?

Babs, freaking out because what ever was blocking her started to counter hack her: U-uh...Library stuff, Sorry did you say Jay?

Danny, popping the 'P': Yup, payed me 50 dollars to call! I love you bye."

Babs, confused as the counter hacking stopped dead: I...what?

Danny, still haven't hung up: Say it back.

Babs, so utterly confuaed: I-i love you too?

Danny, grinning: great thanks bye.

Babs, wondering what the fuck just happened.

In Amity Park

Danny talking to Sam: Could you see what Tuck was doing during all that?

Sam, who in turn was lounging in a bean bag reading a book: Yeah...something about batman files? I wasnt paying attention, he'll tell us if we need to worry.

---

Bruce, running around all of Gotham, trying desperately to solve the Riddlers puzzle to save some hostages, getting a call over coms: What is it.

Danny. Looking over at Ellie who was in camera frame, floating above him: Wow someone's grouchy, take a cough drop dude, Anyways my name is Phantom from Phantom breaks bad news,I got hired from a guy named Edward to tell you some.bad news? Is this Batemen?

Bruce, skidding to a stop, tapping into another com level: Oracle, he is back

Danny, blinking a bit as the call went silent: Hello? Fuck did he hang up on me?

Bruce, growling as he speaks: Speak, You said that Nigma sent you something to tell me?

Danny, scrunching up his nose: Your a real people person arnt you...Your buddy Edward says, you got duped, it isnt actually him and your being scammed into not looking in the right places, and that he is offended that you would think such a low quality riddle is from him.

Bruce, eye twitching: What. How could this not be him we...unless...

Danny, batting away Ellies hand as she tries to steal the Fenton phone they are calling from: Oh he just payed me more, looks like he is...actually on vacation? And who ever bitch with a bad bob is running around with his name isnt actually him, if you dont believe him check...I think that is in Cuba?

Bruce, switching coms once more: Oracle, look into Cuba, The real Riddler may be there actually, Robin, go back to the cave and grab the extra strength Clayface spray.

Danny, at the same time, looking at Ellie who makes grabby hands at the phone: No i am- no i am not done yet- okay you can do the next one but- ugh fine but let me hang up first.

Bruce, finally returning to the call: Phantom are you still there? Phantom...Fuck me sideways in a gondola.

Babs, pulling a face that could be felt from over the coms: Could never pay me enough to sleep with your stinky goth ass, go see the Cat or Supes later if you want to get-

Bruce, blushing slightly: Silence. I didn't mean to say that, try and find Nigma then get back to tracking Phantom.

---

Ellie on the phone this time, Danny over her shoulder this time: Hello this is Specter from Specter breaks bad news is this Bateman?

Bruce pausing giving a presentation, looking up at the intercom of the watch tower: Of course you are able to call here.

The rest of the JL, looking around at each other: Batman what is-

Ellie, leaning back into Danny: Yeah, so i got a message here from you kid Dick, which b-t-dubs, is a super bad name to give to your child, like come on man.

Bruce holding his head in his hands because he has been subjected to these two for years at this point: I didn't name him, he came with it already when I got him...just speak, get this over with.

Ellie, giggling: Pump the hate breaks Bates, Dick here says that Fuck you for being a horrible father, you are a narcissistic, sociopathic, middled aged man baby that cant seem to keep the goth furry inside and causes untold emotional and mental trauma on anyone unlucky enough to meet you, he hopes you die alone and you are undeserving of love...also that if you replace the pop tarts you ate he takes everything back and he would love you forever.

The JL, completely speechless because some little girl just absolutely roasted batman but also since that roasting was written by a grinning Nightwing that is sitting across from batman

Bruce, after taking a few deep breaths: I really dont like how my children use you two to air grievances with me.

Ellie, humming: Oh yeah, we also got one form Tim, Tason Jodd, Damian Al Ghul (specificallynot Wayne), and...Jarro? Also, like five more from this Dick guy.

Bruce, slumping into his chair: I am revoking Tim's computer privileges...its that bastards fault about telling the others about your services...

[egophiliac]

I know we're not on the Hearts chapter but, I have a feeling the SSR will be Cater? But also him having the tear animation, since I have a feeling his dream will be a bit like Ruggie's q-q

I'm leaning towards either Cater or Ace, personally! Trey and Deuce have kinda already had their character arcs -- though someone else did mention to me that they thought it might be Trey, because so far all the vices have gotten one. though that might just be coincidence. we'll find out I guess!

my red-string-on-corkboard theory is that Ace is gonna get his arc + UM during whatever goes down with Grim, so while I could be completely wrong, I think it'd be nice if it were Cater's time to shine! ...also I am VERY curious as to what his dream is gonna be. 👀 like, I don't think he's gonna be all angsty or anything, he's a pretty cheery guy even though he pretends to be more vapid than he is, but...what would he be like if he were less. y'know.

(also I kind of want him to get the focus just because I think it'd be a shame if all he got was a super-quick 'oh his dream is to have a billion followers or whatever, now let's go on to the next person'. c'mon Twst. give him some love.)

[inkskinned]

i'm still trying to piece together the truth of it. when you left, you said: feel free to spin this narrative however you want. i have no idea if you were being cruel or if you just genuinely don't remember what you've done to me.

it's hard because i'd done so much of the work for you. i had seen the parts that flaked off, the rust underneath. i started separating you into two people - the one i loved, and the one who hurt me. i had this fantasy version of you - my partner - and then i had this stranger, a third person who would show up randomly to shatter me. i am deliriously glad i'm no longer with "the stranger". i miss the gentle (unreal?) "other" you terribly.

at first, i was so strict about my boundaries. i remember telling you to get the fuck out of my house if you were going to talk to me like that. by the end: i would justify your behavior for you, accepting even your mistreatment as "my fault" in the grand scheme. i look back on the person i was before you - smart, independent, confident - and i feel a strange sense of detachment. i don't even recognize me.

even in one of our last conversations, you said: if you want a partner that always talks warmly to you, find someone else. there was a time that a comment like that would have made me leave. and instead, somehow, i just placidly accepted that kind of thing. you were literally telling me that i wasn't allowed to have a reaction to your cruelty - and i just took it, because you'd so fully turned things around on me.

when people are faced with irrationality, a rational brain tries to make sense of it. this is the trap. they're lovely in the morning, gentle and blue-eyed and sweet. like nothing even happened, they breeze around the house and kiss you on the mouth. but at night; who is that? they snap almost randomly; flying into an impotent rage about just-about-anything. it just doesn't make sense. so the problem must be me, and my brain, and how i think.

the traumatized brain just wants peace. so maybe i'm misremembering. maybe you were just having a bad day. maybe it's actually me.

you eventually would fully turn on me and start implying that i am the bad actor in our relationship. that's what happens, right? that's literally in the playbook. you went to therapy for all of a month, told her a half-truth, co-opted therapyspeak. you figured out how to reframe your actions as "seeking peace." any time i stood my ground, i was "gaslighting." when i asked you to be more gentle, you said i was "tone policing." you said, randomly, i had emotionally manipulated you - i still have no idea what that's even specifically referring to. maybe my consistent requests for calmness and empathy?

and while i literally know better, and i'm sitting here, trained by you, thinking: wait, fuck. was i actually the person you made me out to be?

and the thing that scares me is that i literally do not know if you ever actually saw what you were doing to me. when you'd tell me how you remember arguments, you'd always summarize them in a way where you come off as gentle and easy: "i was trying to set an important boundary." what had actually happened was 15 minutes of you shouting at me i know you did something shady, just admit it already. eventually you'd say my reaction to your shouting (when i finally reacted, which usually happened around hour three) was inevitably "disappointing" and "another way i'm silencing your feelings."

how many times did i ask you - beg you - to just take accountability? looking back, i don't think i ever heard you say: you're right. the way i talked to you was wrong of me.

i am trying to tie together the two people into a full version of you in my head. yes, you made my coffee and made me laugh and spent hours on the phone with me. and yes - you would scream at me until i had to run away and hide behind something.

i wish i did have a narrative i could pull out and shape to my whim. i wish i did have some semblance of reality. instead i just stand here, strange and vibrating, wondering: what the fuck just happened?

[outer-andromeda]

So very glad people seem to like my take on Mr. TV hehehehehe. He's incredibly fun to doodle

[cimtee]

my sources tell me it’s what the people want,, happy june ig

[vaguely-concerned]

the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)

after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)

the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol

lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him

[drop-dead-dino]

Loved Anyway

Agh, time to be vulnerable ;;.

Kind of a vent doodle, I suppose. Being chronically ill can really shake the way you view yourself. I know I’m not alone in these feelings, so, maybe hearing the truth from the skrunklies can bring some comfort to anyone else needing it too 💜.

In case the text is hard to read: “You are not hard to handle. You are not hard to love. You are not a burden. You are not a waste of space. I know, it hurts, my love. Existing can be painful. But—“ “—good news, I love you anyway! All the mess and fuss of you. All the stray hairs and uneven smiles. I love your laugh, and your sigh, and the way you sing along with the music. It’s all lovable! It feels so good to love you!”

[clegfly]

THEYRE REAL….

One William likes and I’ll draw my divorced yaoi

[ministarfruit]

yuri month day 28: please be mine ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

[stemmmm]

Billford fic recs!

I was asked a while ago (i believe by @kerink ?) when I shared a list of the currently active fics I was reading if I could do a broader rec list as well, so here it is! not a ton of oneshots since I didn't try to keep good track of fics until very recently. will likely update this over time!

there is ONE non-triangle bill in here, but what he is in that one is vague so maybe he could still be the triangle. schrodingers triangle.

Collections:

Valentines 3K challenge (all explicit)

you know it. you love it. if you haven't read all of them though, you're missing the fuck out

Stan Bros Coffee (G and explicit)

the espresso-Bill AU! there's a bunch of little fics about it and they're all in here!

Billford Egg Hunt 2025 (all explicit)

that man gets eggs laid in him

Oneshots: (most oneshot recs are in the collections)

Eternal Devotion - Illusions of the Heart (explicit)

have you ever read a horror story posing as a love story? are you interested in the most unhinged yet cohesive internal monologue ever crafted? do you wonder why keyhole suddenly became so prominent in the fandom out of nowhere? all of these and more await you in here. click the link-- i am a normal fanfic

touch and go (teen)

it's portal ford, baby! great exploration of what prolonged isolation does to people and has excellent bill being sweeties

Haha He Fucked That...Spider? (explicit)

again, portal ford! he's the master of getting himself in stupid situations, and bill is the master of getting him out of them in the ways ford appreciates the least

Hazing Ritual (mature)

Ford takes a hike in the woods in the middle of the night with his cock out and Bill comes to say hi

what would they say now if they saw you? (explicit, fuck what the author says its not mature)

we love a footstool

beneath the surface (explicit)

he fucks that eyeball

Resolving Misconceptions (mature)

Ford goes on an an adventure inside Bill's body to accomplish..... something?

Longfics:

Theseus' Guide To Ruining A Perfectly Good Boat (mature) (complete in my heart bc i know what happens)

why are you still following me if you haven't read this yet. y'all know what this is

Then it becomes, it becomes, it becomes a problem (mature) (complete)

how bad do things have to get before bill finally chooses to cut his shit out? the answer may surprise you! during-betrayal fic where bill makes the ingenious decision to bring a third party into the mix as if that would solve anything. breathtaking prose, magnificent character work, and the best fucking bill cipher writing and analysis there is! SO funny, SO raw and emotional. Jan deserves to ascend to godhood at the cost of all of her family and friends. as a treat.

Creative Solution (unrated, but i'd call it mature) (complete)

what if bill erased ford's memories of the betrayal and weirdmageddon happened? touches on what it's like to be in a relationship where you're both deeply mentally ill and insecure in a way that really, truly hits me. absolute masterwork of digging through bill's fucked up psyche and the ways in which he Can and Will spiral forever AND BE SURE TO STICK AROUND FOR THE EPILOGUE: A VISIT TO THE PINES WHICH IS MY FAVORITE SHIT EVER!!! proving to your parents what a failure you are will always have good results! definitely break no-contact, only good things can happen!

Property of Bill Cipher (explicit) (good as complete)

pre-portal character exploration. the only fic i think ive ever seen that dares to say bill was doing extremely fucked up shit with ford the entire time before things went bad between them, it's just that after the betrayal, ford viewed it all in a different light. handles bill's obsession with the guy so nicely, does not shy away from the scary and unnerving in just the way i love it! it's incomplete, but the story is really just a series of vignettes leading up to and a little after the betrayal, so we all know how this is all going to end anyways. this one is formative billford for me

Multiversal Manhunt Moved to Your Backyard (explicit, but only the final chapter) (complete)

set during weirdmageddon, bill and ford make a deal to play a game of sexy scary hide and seek. it's so fun to root for the villain. this author has an amazing grasp on the character voices and tone, this is SUCH a delightful read and despite knowing exactly how it's gonna end, the tension still keeps you at the edge of your seat!

These Sweet Instincts (Ruin My Life) (explicit) (complete)

another jackfruit instant classic. I never thought a heat fic could be romantic but this is some of the most romantic billford ive ever read??? i didn't know how badly i needed more romance with them until i read this??? someone help me

Immaculate Misconception (explicit) (incomplete)

mpreg haters beware but this one is some of the best characterization of these two I've ever read. it's entirely about the coercive/abusive dynamics they have going on and you can perfectly see the ways in which both of them keep falling into their roles despite themselves. this author knows exactly what they're doing and it's fucking delicious. exquisite pregnancy horror here.

On the Level (mature) (incomplete)

marine biology AU where ford is a researcher on a deep sea base and bill is some sort of eldritch horror at the bottom of the sea. writing is lovely and it's really got the slow, ominous horror vibe down pat. it's tagged for Alien(1979) references so i'm personally waiting for bill to violently murder all of these people <3 also this is the non-triangle fic i was referring to

Take A Chance (explicit) (incomplete)

handyman bill thats very focused on how poorly bill and ford are able to communicate with each other, and boy, theyre bad at it. lots of cute family shenanigans and overall a very lighthearted read!

Dream Operator (mature) (incomplete)

post canon billford my beloved. Bill is trapped in the Theraprism, Ford is off doing his boat adventures with his brother, yet neither of them get the other out of their dreams. Literally. goofy dream shenanigans abound!

tear flesh from my skeleton just to feel something genuine (mature but it really plays with that line) (incomplete)

VIVISECTIONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s Better Than Sex! It’s Vivisection! (mature) (complete)

ONE FUCKING GUESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

Impossible Geometries and Biologies (explicit) (complete)

pregnant bill fic that i have some Opinions about but it gets to stay because I like the speculative bio they do just that much

Honorable Mentions

these aren't Billford focused but they're still great

The Y2K Problem (mature) (oneshot)

Shits fucked 'til next tuesday but awwwww Bill's such a great and sweet grunkle awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I hope the author posts more of this AU because shit where Bill wins and everything is horrible for it is the best

A Triangle's Guide to Inter-Dimensional Hopscotch (teen) (incomplete)

As part of his stint at the theraprism, Bill has to babysit alternate dimension versions of Dipper and Mabel who fell through the portal and get them back home safely. I adore how he genuinely likes these kids, it's really cute and Bill is written excellently. Allegedly there will be Billford later!