#this and 人是

[presumenothing]

虚构 | THE MASK

from zhou shen’s second album 《反深代词》 | listen on spotify

lyrics by: 唐恬 / tang tian [T/N: title is literally "to make up" in the fictitious sense]

选择瞳孔的颜色 choosing the shade of my pupils 剔除多余的骨骼 trimming this excess of bones 一键抹平了皱褶 wrinkles smoothed, at a key's touch 你是爱我的 you love me, you do

缝合翅膀多完美 sewn wings flawless, so perfect 提亮眼神不伤悲 brightened gaze, not one hurt 清空阴暗面颓废 in light and dark, in despair 我们相爱了 we fall in love

如果我是我虚构的一场秀 if i were just a show that i'd made up 如果我变回怪兽谢幕之后 if the credits roll and i, a monster again 如果滤镜后 我满身污垢 if behind this lens / i stand full of grime 关节会生锈 笑容会变丑 on joints weak with rust / with smiles less than bright

我没能给你分开的理由 i could not give you a reason to part 我在你逃走之前先逃走 i run, escaping before you do 如果没有这些如果 what if only without these 'if's 你才会爱我 then would you love me

多么完美的镜头 a scene, so perfectly-shot 多么恐惧被剧透 one fears knowing its end too soon 一个我淡定自若 one of me, in calm so clear 一个尖叫着求救 another shrieking for aid

你爱我是真的 you love me; that is real 可你从来没看见过我 but you've not even seen me before 天哪多荒谬 heavens, how absurd 爱是编辑的人格 love a mere person: edited

[REPEAT CHORUS]

我没能给你分开的理由 i could not give you a reason to part 我在你逃走之前先逃走 i run, escaping before you do 如果没有这些如果 what if, with none of these 'if's 你是否爱我 would you love me, then?

多渴望被爱着 yearning so, to be loved 却因此感到绝望为何 yet on that same cause, comes despair; why? 在幸运的时候 even in this happiness 怀疑自己不值得 still doubting my very worth

Oh也许你能够 oh, may it be that you 帮我拉开遮住脸的双手 can help part these hands covering my face 颤抖却温柔 trembling, yet gently 说你依然爱着我 （说你依然爱着我） please say that you love me still (say that you love me still)

也许我是我虚构 的一场秀 so were i just a show that i'd made up 也许我变回怪兽 谢幕之后 where the credits roll and i, a monster again 也许滤镜后 我满身污垢 where behind this lens / i stand full of grime 关节会生锈 笑容会变丑 on joints weak with rust / with smiles less than bright

也许可以 就这样破烂依旧 and if we could / stay half-broken, this way 也许可以 就这样奇怪依旧 and if we could / fit uneven, this way 也许还有 那么一点期待 then maybe i / could hope, just that little 也许没人逃走 no one will run away

我无法给你留下的理由 i can't give you a reason to stay

可不可以不需要理由 even without reason, would that be okay…

[never-quite-buried]

I took a bit off tumblr and came back to 12k notes 😳

Anyway here’s a video that made me cry today

[dustykneed]

good luck, babes! 💙💛

maybe i should write a fic. hmm

(edit: if you wanted to know my personal interpretation... watch the can in bones' hand. and the colors mean things loll. i think i'll make an explanation tomorrow just for fun)

[xinyuehui]

I couldn't put on a finger on why the whole tiktok migration to xhs left a sour taste in me until I got annoyed at recent subtle sinophobic comments towards Love and Deepspace left in the tags. (It's a Chinese game that has a global/English server)

Which had me thinking and seeking out if other people felt the same way. The Americans found a new platform, the Chinese on the platform are welcoming and attempts to speak to the Americans in English. Cool, what is left? The third group of people out here that aren't Americans or Chinese in China, it's us Chinese diaspora that live outside of China (in particular the west). We learnt English, forced to erase everything Chinese about ourselves to fit in here fit in there but never fully get accepted into any community. Online spaces are no better, we get all sorts of hate even though we are all communicating in English. One comment that I read on tumblr here a while back that really struck me was op posted something regrading Chinese culture and some white person dismissed op for having a Chinese url so they must not speak English to speak on a Chinese topic.

Americans barging themselves into other people's spaces seemingly with no effort is the most white privilege behaviour ever. Some of them don't bother learning the language, the culture, or social etiquettes. To call it 'refugees' in this current climate is lowkey insensitive even as a joke. Some are just outright racist saying they are there to colonise the app. The offhanded uninformed political jokes are also on thin ice. If this was reversed and a massive group of Chinese people suddenly joins instagram/twitter/tumblr, starts posting in Chinese, the comment sections will not be as 'haha funny' and 'wholesome' as the ones on xhs.

White people posting selfies on the app is harvesting thousands of likes and compliments is the prime example of white privilege, they don't have to work hard to get far, boosting their egos further more. How am I supposed to feel even when I share something on here of my culture either get no recognition or sinophobic comments?

There's a sense of helplessness when I see my people pandering to the white, similar to when Chinese diaspora/Chinese in China on the discussion of cultural appropriation. The experiences the two groups have are vastly different. I don't blame them for this. China, for the most part, is still a very closed society, a handful of them probably never left the country, interacted with a white person or had any prejudice against them for being Chinese. To them, it's just an amusing conversation or two without much thought. At the end of the day when the Americans leave the app, it'll be another fever dream. But for us, we still have to go to work with these privileged white people, come home from work to what I thought was a Chinese safe space to find that insufferable co-worker is on xhs going 'hello China [google translate some nonsense]'.

That said, I suppose for me who is able to post this on tumblr is a somewhat privilege move. For the people in China, it is an avenue to interact with Americans on a large scale without having to use a vpn. The welcoming atmosphere gives me peace knowing that to be respectful is still in our core. For the Americans, whether they are on the app out of spite without thinking of the consequences or to learn about China with an open mind, only time will tell if they will remain on xhs after the fad dies out.

[weneverdated]

[candykale]

Another portrait practice painting, this time - Eugene!

[bongtion]

💙🐱💙

🥺🖐🏻️🖐🏻️😭😭

[chilibambooooo]

Brabham师徒时期的Niki和Nelson。

（附上之前发过的小chibi凑排版）

[lilianhuas]

[nishione]

idk but this is what it is

[time-sound]

撒旦生气的次数好多好好笑。。而且都是这俩惹他生气更好笑了。。

以及为什么送这种黑暗料理给所罗门他会喜欢的啊！！他吃什么长大的！

[yukialian0418]

绣球花🪻

[uccl]

wip 好喜歡這種看垃圾一樣的眼神🥵

ooc 他是"花神"，不是真的"神"，花神是別人叫的（？

他會開花🌹，對，他會讓你開花（物理意義上的）

他能跟花溝通，人身上長出來的那種🤭

不信任任何人，不會主動攻擊別人

對接近的生面孔敵意比較重，但性格挺好的（我沒開玩笑#

[fei-ren-zai]

Chapter 298: Happy New Year! What did everyone eat tonight?

*T/N: Wontons (馄炖/hundun), dumplings (饺子/jiaozi), jiucai hezi/chive pockets (韭菜盒子), and chaoshou (抄手) are all different.

Top row: wontons, dumplings Bottom row: chive pockets, chaoshou

Chive pockets are made of chives in a wrapper, baked or fried. Wontons are made with thinner square wrappers, and usually served with broth, while dumplings use round, thicker circular wrapping and are eaten without broth. Chaoshou are a specific type of wonton from Sichuan, usually served with spicy oil.

It's customary for people in northern China to eat dumplings on pretty much any holiday. People in southern China usually eat tangyuan instead.

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