#this is both extremely serious and extremely unserious post

[gatoraid]

My hot take on Wang Baoxiang is that he is simultaneously one of the biggest AND worst allies in the Yuan Dynasty

Like, he spends two books trying to make all these closeted gay men around him to get in touch with their feelings about other men…….

but then also proceeds to kill all of them???

[fugamalefica]

It's so baffling how many people actually believe I mean it when I call Lily and Hermione Mudbloods and think that's the reason I hate them.

[valleydolli]

౨ৎ NFLplayer!Toji x WAG!reader ౨ৎ

Authors Note: This is so random it just came to me and I was like oh my goodness let me write it down and then I kept going, and going, and going and here we are... heh... ALSO I did NOT proof read it, because if I did I wouldn't post it cause I'm judgemental! I'm going to watch The Apothecary Diaries now!

NFLplayer!Toji, who spotted you in the crowd at one of his games. Causing him to completely freeze on the field, so captivated by your beauty. The Jumbotron cameras notice who he’s staring at and instantly puts you on the big screen. You have yet to realise because you weren’t paying attention to the game at all. It was your friend who dragged you here. Your friend punches your arm, causing you to wince. “What the hell?” You yell at her. She manually turns your head to look at the jumbotron with your face on it, captioned, “Fushiguro’s future WAG!” Your jaw drops to the floor. The crowd is roaring. The whole game deadass paused just for Toji Fushiguro, THEE Toji Fushiguro, to gawk at you.

What in the Wattpad story is this?!

NFLplayer!Toji, who, as soon as his game ended, yelled at his manager, Shiu, to go look for you. Shiu finds you shuffling your way out of the exit. He quickly runs to you, placing a hand on your shoulder. You turn ready to yell at the stranger touching you, but he’s holding up his badge that says, “Manager” on it. Shiu indicates that you should come with him. You go to say no, but your friend quickly places her hand on your mouth, guiding you to wherever this “Shiu” guy is taking you. 

NFLplayer!Toji, who is patiently waiting for Shiu to bring you into his locker room. Did he find you? Did you say no? So many questions running through his mind until he hears the door click, watching you walk right through. Your eyes scan Toji's personal locker room, before your beautiful eyes land on his green ones. He shoots up, walking to you, offering his hand. You take it, placing your smaller hand into his bigger one. Your eyes widen at how big they are. “Your hands are freakishly big, by the way.” He snorts, “Why do you think I'm the best at this shit?” 

“I don’t really pay attention to this shit. I just got invited by my friend.” You try to slide your hand out of his slowly before he claps it shut, keeping hold of your hand. You stare at him, confused, awkwardly laughing. He really likes holding your hand.

NFLplayer!Toji, who asks you then and there to go on a date with you. You want to say no, but something in you tells you to say yes. And you’re glad you did. The date was a disaster. It was so bad, but so funny and so cute. He really did try his best, but failed miserably. Though it wasn’t really his fault. He wanted to take you on a picnic date, and the weather app said it would be sunny out, but no, the universe decided to rain on his parade… literally. You were both soaked. The food was ruined. The blanket was soggy. Man, how unlucky could he be? He was sure you would never want to see his ass again.

NFLplayer!Toji, who was shocked when you asked if his apartment was nearby, so you both could dry off. It wasn’t, but he didn’t care, as long as he could spend more time with you after the disaster of a date they just had.

NFLplayer!Toji, who takes you back to his, not-so-nearby penthouse, giving you a change of clothes and a hair dryer to dry your hair. “This place is nice… My apartment is probably the size of your bedroom,” You laugh. 

NFLplayer!Toji, who tells you, “Don't worry. When I marry you, we’ll have a bigger place than this.” Your eyes widen, and he doesn’t laugh; he still has a stoic expression on his rugged face. “You’re extremely unserious, Toji. You know that?” 

“I’m being so fucking serious, doll.”

NFLplayer!Toji, who has been seeing you for months now. You’re not dating officially, but he brings you to all his events and football games, bragging about how you’re his wife. Not only skipping the girlfriend part, but just outright lying to people. Do you correct him, though? Of course not.

UpcomingWAG!reader, who has accumulated millions of followers, in the few months that she's been with Toji.

UpcomingWAG!reader, who gets heaps of hate and love comments on her social media.

NFLplayer!Toji, who hates every one of his fangirls and boys who harass you on social media.

NFLplayer!Toji, who made a social media account just to call said fangirls and boys, “pieces of shit” “nowhere near as gorgeous as his girl (you, duh.)” and personally going through your comment section reporting each and every hate comment and going on their profiles to call them ugly in the comments. It really doesn’t get to you, because you barely check your socials anyway. You just post what you want and dip. Whether it’s a photo of a new bag Toji got you, or a breakfast he made you, or just Toji his damn self. You couldn't care less.

NFLplayer!Toji, who asks you to marry him after his Super Bowl win— Oh, he didn’t ask you to be his girlfriend? Yeah, fuck that he had to get straight to the point. No wasting time around here. You better be ready to put on a damn white dress and head to a church. Because obviously you said yes.

NFLplayer!Toji, who fucks you like he hates you, roughly ramming his hips into you every night, holding you close to his body; so tight you wouldn't be able to break free even if you tried your upmost hardest, but it’s not like you would want to be away from him anyway. He kisses you deeply the whole time he's fucking you— no, making love to you. Confessing how much you've changed his life for the better. How no one could even come close to you.

NFLplayer!Toji, who marries you 3 months after proposing to you. A small wedding, but it was enough for you, so it was enough for him.

WAG!reader, who becomes an ICONIC WAG, maybe even more iconic that than Victoria Beckham and Cheryl Cole. You start some of the biggest fashion trends. The paparazzi always need to know where you are. You're gifted almost everything in your life now. You being shown on that Jumbotron really changed your life for the better. Toji, changed your life for the better.

NFLplayer!Toji, who is completely ready to start a family with you. He has been ready for a while, but he cares how you feel about it more. If you don't want kids, he’s okay with that. If you want to adopt, that's more than okay. But if you want him to breed the fuck out of you. Then it’ll be his damn pleasure.

WAG!reader, who lets Toji know that you do want kids with him just not so soon. You're young and you want to enjoy this new WAG status you've just gained.

WAG!reader, who after 2 years of being married, lets Toji know you're ready to start a family with him. He can't speak for a moment, but you straddle him pecking his lips, telling him to take you to your bedroom.

NFLplayer!Toji, who rushes to the bedroom, carefully placing you down on the sheets, kissing every each of your body... Literally. He's cherishing the future mother of his kid-- not kid, sorry, he means kids... PLURAL. You two are about to make a whole new NFL team. He fucked you into the night. Dumping heaps of his hot cum into your fertile womb.

"Toji, hah it's s-so much," you whimper.

He reassures that, you can take it, you have to take it. He straightens your legs, hugging them tightly, pounding into you roughly, but with love too. But fuck every mewl you make, every moan. It's extremely difficult for him to not fuck the shit out of you. But he knows he's much bigger than you, so he'll always be asking you and making sure his wife is okay.

He falls on top of you; the both of you cumming together intensely, trying to catch your breath. You lift his head up off your shoulder kissing him gently, telling how well he did. You both love to give each other praises. He's your hype man and you're his hype girl.

WAG!reader, who a month later takes a pregnancy test seeing those two special lines. You're excited to tell Toji but, he needs to be focused on practice right now. You don't want to shift that focus onto you.

NFLplayer!Toji, who has noticed a change in you but cant quite put his finger on it. Your skin is somehow more glowy than usual. But, you're also way more tired than before. You sleep in so late that you're asleep when he leaves for practice and you're asleep when he gets back.

NFLplayer!Toji, who is shocked to come back from practice, seeing you awake for once, but awake and standing in front of balloons that say "You're going to be a daddy!"

He stays still for a good 30 seconds surprised at what he's reading. He had an inkling that you might be pregnant, but he wasn't so sure. So, seeing this now, makes him the happiest person on this damn planet. He runs to you picking you up spinning you around like a princess before getting on his knees this place kisses on your not so pregnant looking stomach. He pledges to you and your unborn child.

"I promise I'll take good care of you... the both of you. I'll be an amazing Father I swear it.

The two of you decide to keep your pregnancy a secret from the public. You don't need unwarranted stress from not only the media, but fans too.

The following week you both go to your first scan, to take a look at the life you the made and the life you're growing. It's a little to early to find out the gender, but by the time your next appointment rolls by you'll know.

The next appointment comes and you find out you're carrying a boy. Toji, is ecstatic. He didn't mind what gender the baby would be, but he really did hope for a little boy and he got that. You've made his dream come true.

The nine months roll by sooner than anticipated. Your due date is right around the corner; close to Toji's birthday. He honestly hopes Megumi will stay in a little longer so they can share a birthday, but you got mad telling him to not wish further pain on you. Megumi's a big boy, thanks to his father... fatass.

NFLplayer!Toji, who panics when you wake him up abruptly, telling him your waters broke. He shoots out of bed grabbing everything needed to give birth to your little blessing. You’re screaming in the car while making your way to hospital, scaring the fuck out of Toji. Hr wants to cry, he’s never seen you like this and he hates it. It’s his fault, all his fault.

“It’s not your fault, Toji. I’m just going through labour. It’s natural. Just— oh my god, just drive to the fucking hospital!”

Toji may have sped slightly to the hospital, but safely of course…

After 3 hours you gave birth to your beautiful baby boy, Megumi.

NFLplayer!Toji, who cried for the first time since he was a young boy, after hearing the cries of your new born child. He kissed and thanked you profusely for being in his life. You honestly changed him for the better. He doesn’t know where he would be without you.

NFLplayer!Toji, who proudly walks out of the hospital with you in one hand and baby Megumi in the other. Walking out into the many flashing lights of paparazzi, that got some inside information that you just gave birth to a baby boy. You both surf your way through the sea of nosey paps before making it to your car, heading home a new family of three.

:p

© 2025 @valleydolli please don't copy or translate any of my work. all rights reserved. (I will find you if you do.)

[hyuckhyukahansol]

Hold On, We're Going Home

────────────

"you don't even notice the click of him locking the door while he turns the lights off before he curls up behind you, chest to your back as he wraps his arms around you slowly. sensually. mark's breath fans on the back of your neck before he plants several slow kisses there, moving until he reaches right below the shell of your ear. all the while, his large, warm hands can't seem to to anything other than wander under your hoodie to caress your waist and stomach. you let out a breathy and quiet chuckle.

"babe, what are you doing?" you ask in a whisper.

"you know you're mine, right?" mark whispers into your ear, completely ignoring the question, yet answering it at the same time.

your skin heats all too quickly. you know exactly what this is. he's jealous. of what, you're really not sure.”

or

you're a popular soloist and your secret boyfriend is a kpop idol. when your Canadian tour dates line up, you both opt to stay at his parent's home in Vancouver, but even with his parents asleep downstairs, mark just can't seem to keep his hands off of you after your show.

tags -ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈  idol!mark, soloist!reader, fem!reader, reader is american, porn with minimal plot, established relationship, childhood room, twin bed, missionary, jealousy, possessiveness, praise AND degradation, mentions of reader being small, ATTEMPTED quiet sex, sacrilege if you squint (theres a jesus on his wall), size kink if u squint, marks parents are mentioned but theres no dialogue with them because im not writing that, reader has her drivers license, implied that reader is not christian, reader's love language is being mean to mark, EXTREMELY unserious

nicknames ┇ his babe yours princess!! baby... etc

date started┇march 20 2025

date posted ┇march 28 2025

wc ┇4.4k

A/Ns ┇ nothing like a good "lets fuck on my childhood bed!" 

room based on the mark's homecoming teasers for firstfruit.

umm mark probably doesnt have a childhood bedroom in canada because he was like 13 when he left for sm and also he lived in new york before that so lets just pretend for the sake of the fanfic that he does ok? ok! >_<

in section 2 i mention bible study as a way for me to skate around actually writing meeting marks parents LMFAOOO um im unsure if this is a popular thing everywhere else but like i know in the south at least its like youth group but for older people where they'll have a like mini religion discussion thing? i dont know i havent been to church in several years and i'm atheist 😭 iykyk i guess

reader's dialogue is based off of me and im a very strange fella and i cannot be serious for one single second so its kind of bad 😭

FINAL NOTE im completely a virgin like ive never even kissed anyone LMFAO so if the smut seems inaccurate at all thats on me because i refuse to let a real obtainable man get that close to me 😆

────────────

𐔌 ﹒ ⋆ ꩜ ⋆ 𓂃 ₊ ⊹

01. prologue

"no way our tour dates line up." 

you were in disbelief when your boyfriend called late at night to inform you that you would both be in the same city at the same time and that it just so happened to be where his parents lived: vancouver.

you were tucked under your warm, plush duvet with an unnecessary amount of pillows under your head and you groan as you sit up from them, cold air hitting your newly exposed skin, leaving goosebumps in its chilly wake.

"i'm serious dude, the company usually lets me visit my family when we go for canadian stops. i could see if i can stay at my parent's house for longer.. and you could come with me.." mark's voice got higher as he started adding to the equation. "and maybe you can stay.. and meet some people.."

"you're saying you want me to meet your parents?" you reply blankly, holding in a laugh at your boyfriend's shyness about asking. you lean back in your bed, cotton fabric sighing with effort.

"see? that's my girl, i knew you'd get it." your face heats at his words.

"oh dude you're flirting..." you quote him, earning a sound of annoyance from the other end of the call. you snicker.

"you actually have to stop watching those fan compilations." you giggle at how easily it both annoys and embarrasses him that you keep up with what he does at work.

"okay, i'll stop watching fan compilations of you when you delete your folder of edits of me" you offer jokingly through your fit of laughter.

he scoffs "that's out of the question." 

"okay then i guess i get to keep watching videos of you goofing off at work." 

𐔌 ﹒ ⋆ ꩜ ⋆ 𓂃 ₊ ⊹

02. the twin bed

several months ago, your boyfriend had asked you to meet his parents in person. both of you living in seoul and being music artists meant that trips home were few and far between, so it made sense that mark would ask you to meet his parents in real life once the finally opportunity arose after two years of only seeing them in 2160p on a facetime screen. mark would've asked sooner if he weren't swamped with schedules — between three groups and solo activities, it was near impossible to find any amount of time to fly home, let alone with a secret girlfriend who's schedule was just as packed as his.

both of your tours had already started and you really hadn't seen much of each other since. you were grateful for the large amount of time you had in vancouver: about three nights of time together before you'd each have to take your separate flights to different cities for the rest of your respective tours. you had your show the first night of the three-day stay and his was the night directly after. 

mark had taken a plane with the rest of 127 and you opted to take a completely different flight; it wasn't worth the trouble of having to deal with both of your own saesangs on one flight as well as risking being caught. since mark's plane departed earlier than yours, he arrived at his parent's house much earlier than you, having already unpacked what he needed and started catching up with his folks when you rang the doorbell on the single-family home. as you were marveling at the normalcy of the house, your boyfriend swung the door open, giving you a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"did your staff already leave?" mark asked after surveying the street outside and not finding any cars. you turn and look back over your shoulder quickly even though you know you won't find a car there either.

"yeah, dropped me off and then sped away." you answer as you step inside. mark closes and locks the door behind you. 

"well, after she got out of the passenger seat because i begged her to let me drive-"

"you drove?" your boyfriend cut you off, eyes wide and eyebrows raised so high that his forehead was wrinkled.

"pfft, yeah?" you roll your eyes dramatically.

"i have my license and i'm a big girl. got here in one piece and everything." you reassure the man as he takes your suitcase and carryon from you.

"dude, you have an american drivers license."

"ooookay? it's basically the same! y'all drive on the right side of the road too.." you playfully push mark's shoulder, pouting as you continue.

"i never get to drive in korea. can't drive on the right there." you switch from a playful pout to a curious expression. "where are mother lee and father lee?" you ask, using your favorite nicknames that his parents thought were so endearing and silly. mark chuckles before answering.

"they're at wednesday bible study, so we have some time to unwind before you have to mingle with anyone other than me." mark explains, walking towards to stairs that lead to the second floor of the house. "my room is upstairs. it hasn't been redecorated since i was, like, 13." 

"oh, how fun." you joke, beginning to walk up the stairs with your boyfriend following behind you. "can't wait to see all the.. um.." after a long pause, you stop at the top of the stairs and turn to face him. "i can't finish my insult because i have no clue what little canadian boys like."

mark laughs and you're sure if his hands weren't full he would start hitting you in his fit of laughter like he usually does, but instead he hunches over a little at the joke before directing you to the last door on your right. 

the room is small and littered with old books, cd cases, and cassette tapes, all lined up haphazardly on painted wooden shelves that were much taller than you, the freshest layer of brown paint peeling in worn spots to reveal the previous paint job done in teal. in the left corner, against the flaky yellow wallpaper, sat a red guitar and in the right corner there was a boombox on a shelf above a bed. on the right wall was a crucifix and ivory jesus stared down at the bed below it with its mismatched plaid duvet and sheets and more pillows than any one boy needs, all with different pillowcases on them, one checkered blue, another white with blue stripes, the other two in solid teal and red. it was cozy, but something irked you and it wasn't the carpeted floor or the popcorn ceiling.

"you didn't tell me it was a twin bed?" you exclaim, turning to mark who looked like he'd just seen a ghost. he makes his way past you into the room, speaking as he sets your bags on the beg and sits next to them.

"yo, listen: you can have the bed to yourself and i can have the floor if it makes you feel better" mark offers, trying to soothe you. you're still stood in the doorway, leaning against it now.

"i dont want your funky ass twin bed? id rather sleep on the cold kitchen floor downstairs." you complain, frustrated at the entire situation. "I don't want to sleep without you but also I'm not sure we'll both fit comfortably." you express. your boyfriend looks at you funny. 

"are you serious?" he starts, getting up from the bed and walking towards you, stopping when he's stood just close enough that you have to look up to meet his eye. "there's definitely enough room. we'll just have to cuddle." he explains. you look up at him through long lashes and pout. 

"i'm starting to think the reason you didn't tell me is because you just wanted an excuse to hold me all night." you accuse. mark holds his hands up in a way that says 'you got me.'

"well, usually you complain that i'm too warm and you end up moving away from me after i fall asleep." mark admits with a slight frown, dropping his hands to his side in order to hang his shoulders in an attempt to sulk. he looks so cute when he pouts, large dark eyes shining at you with a hint of an apology for withholding information. you push yourself off of the door frame in favor of draping your arms on mark's shoulders, fingers touching around the back of his neck.

"okay, but you do get super warm and you know i run hot too." you defend yourself. mark pits his hands on either side of your waist and cracks a smirk and you know he's thinking of a terrible joke.

"yeah, super hot." 

"ew, that's so corny." you scrunch up your nose, making a disgusted face and he giggles, leaning in to pepper your cheek with kisses that you can feel the smile in.

"you're making me reconsider my option of sleeping alone." you threaten, but he only wraps his arms around you and holds you tight instead as if to say that there's no way you can back out of it now. you accept defeat.

𐔌 ﹒ ⋆ ꩜ ⋆ 𓂃 ₊ ⊹

03. the concert

mark's parents were just as kind in person as they had been over video call. they just couldn't stop telling you how you were so much prettier in person and how proud they were that mark had found "such a nice young lady." you told them how lovely their home is and thanked them for letting you stay. the meeting was brief since you had to get to your venue for sound check and other preparations, so when your staff arrived to pick you up and whisk you away to your job, you apologized and swore that you would talk more the next day, assuming they probably wouldn't be awake by the time you got back.

sound check was smooth and you enjoyed seeing your fans for the 45 or so minutes it lasted. afterwards, you had your makeup and hair done and put on your first outfit. you made sure to take ample selfies so you could choose what to post after the concert, what to send to bubble now, and what to send to mark since you had down time. 

you: [image]

markus 😒😋: my gorgeous gorgeous girl

you grin at your phone, face heating to the point you start to fan yourself. you giggle at your own incoming joke as you look through your camera roll for a video to send to your boyfriend. the video is a clip his fans like to use of him with a blush filter on his face. (you know the one)

you: [video]

markus 😒😋: yeah ok im blocking you now

you: NOOOOO ☹️ 

markus😒😋: too late. need to start being nicer to your boyfriend

you: but youre so cute when youre annoyed..

markus😒😋: your fans are like really loud by the way

you: ???

markus😒😋: [2 images]

markus😒😋: your number 1 fan

the images mark sends you are one of the stage you're supposed to be on in about an hour and the other is selfie of him, mask hat, and glasses on, in a seat at your venue.

you'd attended each other's concerts before and it certainly wasn't a secret to either of your fans that the two of you knew each other, having done challenges, tiktoks, and other collabs together, but it still would give you butterflies when he would show up to a concert. 

you: 🥹 i told you if you would tell me beforehand that you were coming then you wouldn't have to actually buy tickets

markus 😒😋: its no fun when you know already!!! 

you: next time get floor tickets so i can have eye candy in the crowd

markus 😒😋: yes ma'am 🫡

the concert went super well. you were on time and your mic was loud enough for once and your costume wasn't itchy and your boyfriend was in the crowd. you were sure multistans had already spotted him there and you hoped that he was having a good time and that everyone was leaving him alone.

during the section of the concert where you walk around and sing into a handheld mic and do fan service, you spot a particularly funny sign. the sign, which was decked out in glittery letters and lots of hearts read: "y/n let me get that nda"

you double over in laughter as the back track plays without main vocals before continuing singing, going over to the fanboy holding the sign and taking his phone to record with it. the fan all but faints when you hand his phone back and blow him a kiss. when the song ends you talk for a bit about your tour so far and read other signs, flirting with your fans (as one does) and drinking water to soothe your throat. you don't particularly even think about what you're doing as you interact with the crowd, simply happy to see them smile.

the rest of your concert goes smoothly and you stay for around 30 minutes after everyone clears out in order to help your staff pack equipment and to make sure you didn't forget anything personal at backstage. when you're changed into a hoodie and some sweats and sitting in the passenger seat of your staff's car, you notice mark hasn't texted you, which is weird. mark always texts you after a concert even if you're going back to the same apartment. you assume maybe his phone died when you shoot him a "how was it?" text and he doesn't respond. you're really too exhausted to think of anything else as the road lulls you into a quick nap as you're driven to your boyfriend's parent's house.

𐔌 ﹒ ⋆ ꩜ ⋆ 𓂃 ₊ ⊹

04. jealousy, jealousy 

mark's parents are asleep when you get back to their home, making for a silent house other than the whirring of the air conditioning and the click of you locking the front door. your boyfriend greets you as you walk through said door with a kiss on the cheek. you take in his already scruffy hair and pajama clad legs as well as the loose t-shirt he obviously just threw on.

"did your phone die?" you ask, worried as to why he didn't respond to you.

"yeah" he rubs one of his eyes with the back of his hand "man, um, traffic was crazy, i only just got here and changed."

mark hasn't been this awkward with you since the first few months you started dating. there's obviously something bothering him but you really don't know how to ask, especially when it's so late and you're still tired despite your nap. 

"yeah, i didn't actually drive back so i was able to take a power nap through it." you reply. mark simply hums and turns around, walking to and up the stairs, abruptly deciding he's done with the conversation. you follow him, face twisted in mouth opened, furrowed-brow confusion whenever he had his back to you. mark lingers by the doorway in his room as you pass him to flop down dramatically on the bed, facing the wall, only bothering to kick off your shoes and socks. you don't even notice the click of him locking the door while he turns the lights off before he curls up behind you, chest to your back as he wraps his arms around you slowly. sensually. mark's breath fans on the back of your neck before he plants several slow kisses there, moving until he reaches right below the shell of your ear. all the while, his large, warm hands can't seem to to anything other than wander under your hoodie to caress your waist and stomach. you let out a breathy and quiet chuckle.

"babe, what are you doing?" you ask in a whisper.

"you know you're mine, right?" mark whispers into your ear, completely ignoring the question, yet answering it at the same time.

your skin heats all too quickly. you know exactly what this is. he's jealous. of what, you're really not sure.

your boyfriend continues to kiss around your ear, moving now to your shoulder, each kiss messier and needier than the last. one of his hands moves to cup your breast while the other sits right below your belly button, tantalizingly close to where you can feel your arousal pooling in liquid form. his pinky dips under the waistband of your sweats and stays there as he toys with your nipple, pinching the bud with two fingers, eliciting a soft whine from you to which he hisses.

"have to be quiet, baby. be quiet for me? for me?" he repeats. you breathe out a shaky "ok" as you move your arm behind you in an attempt to feel up your boyfriend, petting his side.

mark snuggles closer and you can feel his erection against your ass as he continues to massage your breast. his other hand finally dives under the waistband of your sweats, middle finger finding your clit oh so easily as he begins to almost pet you, cupping your entire mound and rocking his hands against it, middle finger pressed ever so slightly between the lips and against your bundle of nerves. you try your best to keep your whines down, your once free hand now occupied with covering your mouth. you buck embarrassingly and helplessly against mark's hand.

"desperate, huh? that why you made a show of yourself?" he coos.

you nod. of course it wasn't the truth and you both knew that. you really still weren’t sure what you even did, but your mind was too hazy to do anything except play into his hands, literally and figuratively. 

mark begins to rub circles into your clit, using the friction from your panties to add to the sensation of it. you struggle to stay quiet and when you let a particularly obscene sound slip, your boyfriend groans, pulling away from you.

"sit up, baby." he commands as he gets off the bed and drops to his knees in front of you. he runs his palms up your clothed thighs when you turn to face him.

"take this off for me, princess?" he requests.

you oblige, lifting your hips to discard your sweats, deciding your hoodie is too much and discarding that as well. you don't know when mark removed his shirt, but between him locking the door and getting on his knees, it had been tossed to the opposite corner of the room, bunched up and barely visible from the moonlight filtering through the window. 

mark pushes your legs open and slots himself between them, kissing the inside of your thigh, face oh so close to exactly where you need him. you look down at him in awe. the way his messy brown hair falls into his prettily-pink tinged face and how absolutely drunken on you he looks when his gaze flicks up to you might be enough for you to cum on the spot. you're practically throbbing for him when he finally presses a kiss to your clothed clit. your breath hitches and you let out a soft whimper at the contact.

"you still haven't exactly told me what i did.." you remind mark as his thumbs hook under the hem of your underwear. they linger there for a moment while he answers.

“i think you know."

you lift your hips once again to allow mark and to slip your panties down and toss them somewhere in the room. the air is cool against the heat of your cunt and you fight the urge to close your legs to keep in the warmth.

"so fucking gorgeous." mark mutters before rolling his tongue against your clit. you let out a loud whimper and he shushes you gently but does nothing more to stop you when he licks a fat stripe up your pussy before sucking your clit and coming off with an obscene pop that has you biting into the hand covering your mouth. he returns to it, making slow circles of it with his tongue while he inserts a finger into you, then two, pumping them in and out and curling them at an agonizingly slow place.

you whimper around your hand for a second before taking it slightly away from your mouth.

"i s-seriously don't know— hah— w-what i did, babe." you manage to get out.

mark pulls his face away from your heat, replacing his tongue with his thumb, increasing to a medium pace.

"touched other people. laughed at their jokes. just missed you so bad, princess. wished it was me.” he melts into the side of your thigh, looking up at you as he answers before focusing intently on the way his fingers move against you. the sound of his fingers inside of you fills the room with nasty squelching. his free hand has been rubbing circles into the outside of your thigh this whole time and you attempt to grab it to hold his hand when he finally speeds up a third time, going a pace that you can finally feel your orgasm building with. he swats your hand away.

"think you deserve it?" he asks

"m'sorry." you reply, opting to place the hand on his sheets instead. you can finally feel your release building and your moans get harder and harder to contain behind your hand.

"mark m'gonna cum, please" you plead with him. for what, you're not sure. 

"that's it, good girl." he coos "let it all out, princess." 

his praise is just enough to make you topple over the edge of pleasure, orgasm washing over you in waves as you let out a silent cry. mark finger-fucks you through it, not bothering to stop even when your thighs threaten to crush his head or your foot hits his back, before slowing and then finally pulling his fingers away once your clenching ceases, bringing his hand up to his mouth to lick it clean whilst you catch your breath. 

"lay down, if i don't fuck your brains out right now i'm seriously gonna lose it." your eyes widen as you reposition yourself so that you're laying on your back while mark discards his pants and underwear. he crawls over you, holding himself up on one forearm as you start making out, tongues melding against each other. he breaks from the kiss to lean back and put one of your legs over his broad shoulder. he teases you, rubbing the tip of his fat cock against your still-sensitive clit.

"nobody else can do this but me right, princess?" he asks and you can hear his breath hitch as he continues to rock himself against you. you shake your head in response.

"need it so bad mark." you plead with him, tired of the teasing and the empty feeling in your core.

mark lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in slowly, inch by inch, coupled with quiet groans. the stretch is something you're never used to no matter how many times the two of you fuck; the way he fills you is delicious.

he pauses when he's fully inside you, leaning over you, causing the leg on his shoulder to fold back on you. he kisses your neck and jaw and nibbles at your ear he pulls out until just the tip remains and thrusts back into you, causing you to let out a loud combination of a whine and a strangled groan, to which mark quickly covers your mouth with his hand. he starts slow, rocking in and out of you at a leisurely pace. his free hand that isn't muffling your noises rests beside you on the bed so that he doesn't absolutely crush you. mark makes sure not to fuck into you too hard, worried the loud sounds of skin on skin might wake his parents up. 

"think you can cover your own mouth for me?" he asks and you nod.

he pushes himself up so that his chest is no longer flush with yours and his hand is no longer covering your mouth. you hover the back of your hand over your mouth so that your voice is still audible enough for mark to hear, commanding him to go faster. you cover your mouth as he obliges, and he starts letting out soft moans. they're not nearly as loud as yours but they're so sexy that you almost can't help the way you try to roll your hips up into him in response. 

"what would all your fans think?" he says. "folded in half for my cock... all for me." he adds, starting to get lost in the feeling of your pussy pulling him in. he throws his head back and you swear you could cum from the sight right then and there. 

something snaps in mark- maybe its how close he is or how warm you are, but he stops caring about the noise and starts making pointed thrusts into you, hitting that sweet spot in you that makes your eyes roll and your back arch off the bed. the sound of his skin on yours is loud and if you weren't so fucked out then maybe you'd care, but your brain is fuzzy and your skin is tingly and the only thing you can think about is how impossibly tight the coil in your stomach is. your hand isn't enough to muffle anything anymore, your fingers keep curling and you're squirming so much that it's hard to contain any sounds you make. mark seems to have forgotten where he is because he just starts praising you like you're alone in his apartment.

"so fucking gorgeous. gonna cum, princess? yeah?" he coos.

through babbles and broken groans you manage to get out a broken "please." his thumb finds your clit and he rubs it in rough circles and you swear you're on fire. your orgasm crashes into you like a crack of lightning and you open your mouth to let out a silent scream. you squirm and kick and mark holds your hips down to fuck you through it, chasing his own orgasm all the while. he cums not too long after you with a chant of your name and a broken, choked moan as he fills you up with ropes of hot seed. your chest heaves and you honestly forget that you even exist until mark's words bring you back.

"you don't think we woke them up, right?"

────────────

A/N ┇OH GOD!!! im actually really scared i hope this isnt as bad as it seems to me i think i just dont like it because im the one who wrote it. i got a bit out of character for mark but like also who knows what hes like during sex. you dont know. i dont know. AHH! um i hope you 🫵 enjoyed it. take a shot every time i said the word you in this fanfic.

I got distracted while editing this because I had nct mvs playing in the background and 90s love came on… winwin I miss you

[spideytorch-hovel]

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about spideytorch lately (as I am one to do) and a question popped into my head:

What is the most important spideytorch comic panel?

There’s a ton of great options in my opinion, but I think there also is an answer (at least for me) so now I am going to subject all of you to my thought process. Get ready for a way to long post breaking this down.

The most obvious starting point has to be this classic

Johnny Storm is going full house husband for Peter Parker, I mean c’mon! add in the fact that he’s in his undies and the way that he’s leaning over peter… yeah this is a classic. This might be the most famous spideytorch panel out there, but I don’t think it’s the most important one.

Another classic (but more antagonistic?) one takes place, of course, at the usual place.

To me this is peak identity shenanigans and the stuff that fanfics are made of. The betrayal, the heartbreak, the complications that go into the conflicting way these two view identity, oh boy I could talk about that shit for hours, but as an individual moment, it doesn’t really crack most important for me, it needs a bit more affection (they’re very bad at affection sometimes).

Another panel that came to mind very quickly for me is this set.

Johnny literally only had to say his name and Peter knew exactly what he meant and what he needed. This is top tier levels of communication, both between them and from the creators to us. I think this is another one that I could talk about for hours. That being said, it doesn’t feel important enough to me.

A friend in the spideytorch discord server posed this panel as the most important spideytorch moment in the comics.

I’m just gonna put their quote in cause it’s great. “I think this is one of my favorite panels cause Johnny was just speaking generally and Peter was like ‘oh my god! Actual wise words form johnny’ but also, I love that this was a more important moment for Peter than Johnny.” I must say, this entry is extremely important to spideytorch and gave my choice a run for its money. I don’t have a huge reason for not making this one the most important, other than personal taste. For their relationship, this is a key moment and sets them on the path to actually being friends (at least on Peter’s end), but idk it just wasn’t doing it for me.

Another panel I was reminded of thanks to this submission was this moment.

It’s not quite as impactful as the past one by a long shot but I do think it’s important. After being rivals for so long, to see Johnny give a genuine heartfelt compliment to Peter is fantastic (haha). This feels like the other half of the previous set of panels. There we had Johnny encouraging a stranger and here he’s encouraging his friend.

Some other friends in the discord server suggested the moment that Johnny invites Peter over to watch his sex tape (yes this is canon).

(Not pictured, Peter swinging away and saying he needs to take a cold shower). Now I’m not saying that the most important spideytorch moment needs to be serious, but I think this moment might be too unserious to claim that title. This moment was huge for the fanbase because holy shit did, he actually say that, but for their relationship, I just don’t think it was as important as it was to us.

Now I do want to knock out a few honorable mentions that I would hate to miss.

First, this look given to Spidey by Johnny, I mean yeah, he’s in love.

And to balance the lovesick flirty scales I must expose Peter as well.

Next, this heartbreaking moment that basically admits to the audience that Peter’s world becomes chaos when he loses Johnny. That shit hits.

Of course, the moment that gave us the ship name.

A panel that lives in my head rent-free because honestly marvel what were you attempting to convey here other than the fact that Peter really wants to have hate sex with Johnny Storm?

To take us outside of our duo, this quote from Ben Grimm (EDIT: it’s was Peter’s clone Ben Reilly, which honestly only adds more drama), because honestly same.

And of course, I have to include the panel which showed us the first time (on page) that Peter told Johnny he loved him AND gave us canon proof that these two have “date night,” many a fic writer was fed well.

And how could we forget! THE USUAL PLACE! Literally any panel mentioning this is top tier because its so good, like the core of the fandom honestly.

Lastly, before moving on to my own more serious contenders I have to share this parallel that @sciderman shared because I love it.

Now to my serious contenders for the title of most important spideytorch panel (please remember this is all my opinion and I mean no shade). This will be a top 5, but just know some of these rankings are pretty flexible (even flexible with some panels from the beginning), and this question should not be taken as seriously as I am taking it, I am fully aware of that.

Number 5!

So, I know that I discounted the sex tape scene earlier because I didn’t think it was serious enough and it didn’t do enough for their actual relationship, but I had to include this one I’m sorry. A lot of this is personal taste but the implications here are *chefs kiss* The first time I saw this panel was actually on Pinterest with the caption “wait a second, did spider-man and the human torch have sex?” which says it all for me.

Beyond that, this moment also shows how they reach out to each other when they have problems. Strange children show up in Peter’s life and the first person he calls about it is Johnny. Again, this is not the most serious, but I love it. This moment shows the banter of their relationship, how they care about and rely on each other, and also potentially reveals that they’ve had sex. There’s a lot to take in.

Number 4!

I will be honest with you all, this moment is here almost entirely because Ben’s quote lives in my head rent-free. Everyone around them sees how they feel about each other besides them. When they were rivals others could tell they actually liked each other and when they became friends others could tell that it was deeper than that. I think I especially love this panel because it conforms that we’re not crazy for thinking there’s something there but also because Ben specifically cites the way Johnny looks at peter. That is very specific and says a lot. I can’t imagine Ben would say this if the looks Johnny gave Peter were purely platonic, and just ahhhh, there’s so much said here just in one line from Ben. There was of course the Ben moment earlier, which I also love, but something about this one, the more specific phrasing of it I think just shoots it up my rankings a lot.

Number 3!

If you’ve been following me for a while I don’t think this is a surprise at all, I have already done a very in depth post about this panel so I’ll keep my thoughts brief. Red Skull knows that hurting Johnny will hurt Peter, Peter’s Spidey senses go off FOR JOHNNY, and we are given so much angst potential, I love it.

Number 2!

This one is probably a more popular choice than my number one, and I totally get it. The excitement and joy bursting out of Peter when he finally realizes that Johnny is here, he’s real, and he’s alive really gets me. Plus, the added context to the uniform comment being that Johnny literally left Peter his family and his spot on the team in his will. The amount of pure love in this moment and its larger context is abundant, platonic or romantic, it’s there. I feel like everything I could say about this panel has probably been said before, but it is definitely worthy of being the most important spideytorch moment, even if I have one that beats it for me.

Number 1!

For those of you who don’t know, this panel comes from Peter visiting Gwen’s grave and talking to her. That fact alone breaks me in half but then the things he says to her shatter me. Every spider-man fan knows how much Gwen’s death broke Peter, it destroyed him to lose her. Just the fact that Peter admits Johnny brings part of him back is amazing (haha) because that is a hug feat. But then he shatters me even more with his final sentences. After Gwen’s death, we often get a peter who spends too much time as Spidey in order to avoid having to cope with Gwen’s death as Peter, but also as a way to cope with the loss (he’s a complicate man). Spideypool also gets a lot from that arc because of Wade’s reaction to Spider-Man not holding back as much and becoming less of a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and that’s true. The fact that Peter feels like he’s becoming who Spidey is supposed to be again when he’s around johnny is huge! But then! He corrects himself. He’s not Spidey again, he’s Peter. The real person, the man behind the mask, comes back. And then you get the final correction. He’s not just peter again, he’s *Gwen’s* peter again. He is the him that existed with Gwen when he’s with Johnny. That speaks volumes and breaks whatever parts of me are left. How am I expected to read this and not think that Johnny and Peter are soulmates?

Now, I will acknowledge that this is much more of a peter moment than a joint spideytorch moment, much like the moment suggested by discord friend earlier. If that disqualifies it for you as the most important spideytorch panel, I get it. However, for me that doesn’t matter mainly for one key reason. So many classic spideytorch moments show a lot of Johnny having feelings for Peter or making a move on Peter. There have been a lot of times when I’m trying to get a friend into spideytorch, and I feel like I have to clarify that its not as one sided as it seems. Johnny is much more out there with who he is and doesn’t hide his feelings very well (except maybe from himself). So, when we get any spideytorch moment that hones in on peter’s feelings and love for Johnny, that feels so huge to me. This moment alone proves that it isn’t one sided, Peter has deep feelings for Johnny, even if he’s not sure what they are yet, he knows that what they have is special, he wouldn’t be telling Gwen about it otherwise. While it may not be as famous of a spideytorch moment, its an important one, and for me it’s probably the most important one.

Anyway, this has been a way too long post about this topic but if you made it to the end thank you so much! I would love to hear other people’s thoughts on this topic so feel free to share those. Also, just a reminder that these are my opinions, and I am not in charge at all so don’t take it too seriously (unless you want to).

If you’re interested in hearing me, go more in depth on any of these panels (or any other spideytorch panels) shoot me an ask because I could honestly talk in depth for a while about most of these panels and I would love to do so. Thank you again for reading this way to long post and good night spideytorch nation.

[cextile]

a fun little story on how i made my homemade deck + told my parents i read tarot

hi! sooo i got into the idea of reading tarot originally just to feed my delusions - like i literally only wanted to ask my cards what xyz thinks of me. very unserious.

[weirdly enough, it’s been a while since i made my deck now and still havent asked those dumb questions yet. tarot somehow turned into this personal thing for me - more about growth and healing than stalking someone’s feelings through a deck of cards. who would've thought]

so i decided i wanted tarot cards for my 18th birthday and literally created a whole dramatic scenario in my head about how i’d convince my parents. but then i chickened out, scared of what my parents will say. so i was like okay whatever i’ll just ask my friends to get it for me instead. but they were scared about what their parents would say. so they backed out. tragic.

but THEN i saw this post where @tarotbyjam24 made her own tarot cards and didn’t even tell her parents.

and i was inspired. deeply inspired.

so i opened an editing app, laid out all the cards from the aquarian deck, made them all pretty.

then i told my brother to tell our parents he needed to print 'some cards' for a 'game' and boom, he got them printed for me. then i stuck all the prints onto old notebook covers, cut them out, and laminated each one with tape. a full undercover DIY operation. honestly? iconic.

(bad lighting, but yup, i made these)

one fine day, i was just casually shuffling through my cards, doing a tarot reading for one of my little pick-a-pile sessions. and that’s exactly when my mom walked in. she saw me, the cards, and the tarot book i had opened on my screen.

that’s when it hit her that these weren’t 'just game cards'. she asked me why i chose to not tell her these were tarot. she asked what i used them for. if it was for love or something.

i was doing my usual justification nonsense, but yk how moms are. she saw right through me. she told me that tarot is an extremely serious thing that both her and my dad dont follow, and then walked away. icky.

nothing really happened after that.

until today. today, someone send me a message on how reading pile 3 from this pick-a-pile was a life changing moment for them. they shared a deeply spiritual experience that happened because they listened to my advice, and how they were basically inspired to 'be brave and share their light, just like me' 🥹😭🧿🥰

this struck me so deeply and profoundly, and i was so so touched. i wanted to share this moment with my parents, because it made me so so happy know i was able to help somebody and had such an impact. 😭🩷 I am seriously for grateful for this platform.

now, even though a part of me really wanted to tell them what that person shared with me - and finally just clear the air about me & tarot - i was still confused about whether i should go through with it or not.

then moments later while scrolling, i saw di’s @tarotbyjam24 update - the one where she finally told her parents too. that was the final trigger.

she finally had her dramatic reveal arc, and i decided it was my turn too.

so yeah, i ended up telling my mom. told her about everything - why i kept it from them, how i felt about tarot, and also about the absolutely beautiful message for me that person shared. and tbh, i usually don’t tell my parents a lot about what i’m up to, so saying this out loud felt like lifting a tiny little weight off my heart.

thank you for reading my story.

the end.

[canontypicalgoblins]

thoughts on kagurabachi antagonists (as many as you want)!!

oooooooooh boy. this is going to be a super long one i think, so i’m going to have to throw a readmore up somewhere in here

i’m going to be going in order of appearances for this

norisaku “daruma” madoka - daruma should be a relatively forgettable antagonist. sure, chihiro does some cool stuff against him, but that’s about it. his fight serves as a way to show off enten and chihiro’s overall state at this point in the story. that’s the end of it! guy gets beaten, goes home.

except that’s not all. the stuff that hokazono did with daruma post fight has stuck with me for literal years at this point. i find myself returning time and again to chapter 8. the story that hokazono gave this random one-off villain was so insanely fucked up and i love it. the shot of him screaming at sojo that he’ll die with him cutting to sojo calmly walking out of the car, and then the reveal that he froze norisaku AND that he left his sister alive so that the explosion would be what killed her, especially considering sojo would be the only person to know all this, is genuinely sickening. ugh. love it.

genichi sojo - on to the main man himself! cannot stress enough how fucking cool this guy is. he has some of the hardest panels in the entire series, and more fanservice than any other character, both in the gratuitous pg-13 nudity shots and the amount of cool shots that will inevitably be used for amvs once he gets animated.

it’s clear hokazono really really likes this guy, and i can’t blame him. sojo rocks. this guy clutched up against a squad specially trained to take him down. that’s a 1v6 AND they had home turf advantage??? absolutely vicious work. plus, the way he keeps coming back up in the story, either via constant mention of his crimes, events building off of his past actions, or hokazono just straight up giving us a filler chapter of Sojo Guy Funny Moments during a break week is great.

also, the themes present in sojo vs. chihiro are great — death of the author vs. author’s intent isn’t a thing we get to see a lot of, but it’s done really well and i’m surprised at how often sojo’s ideals are brought up even 50+ chapters after his demise!

kyora sazanami - kyora is an amazing follow-up to sojo. sojo is far more of an up-front violent man who doesn't shy away from action, and kyora is that to an extent as well, but he takes a much different approach. kyora is an extremely cool-headed suave figure who never loses his temper (at least for most of the story), and prefers to have his guards (read: child soldiers) take care of any unsavory business for him. his devotion to his family is second only to his devotion to his business, and that being the thing that does him in in the end is just delicious irony.

soya sazanami - i already have a post about soya, in fact! i'm a huge fan of this guy, which is somewhat of a controversial take, understandably. i think he, and every other sazanami villain, is a great example of someone who is part of a cycle of generational abuse and didn’t break free of that.

yura - we don’t know much about yura. what we do know is shrouded in 15 layers of mystery. i have no doubt that down the line, we’ll get more lore about him and the hishaku. however, for now, all i can really say is i love how unserious he is about his deeply serious job and his swag is insane.

magatsumi wielder/sword saint/kensei/hokazono why are you like this about names - words cannot describe how fucking hyped i am to learn more about this guy. WHY IS HE LIKE THIS??? WHAT WAS HE LIKE BEFORE??? HOW DID MAGATSUMI PUPPET KYORA LIKE THAT???

seiichi samura - mr. the pretender by foo fighters himself!! i love this guy. i love samura so much. i love love love him. he’s so so so so so amazingly written and every new thing we learn about him is just another way to twist the knife in my heart when he dies a few degrees more. i’m not even sure he counts as an antagonist, if i’m being real. uruha may not even be dead! either way, i’m still counting him on here because i’m really excited to see where his story goes.

kuguri - i need to top him

toto - i need her to top me

that’s about it for right now i think, thanks for the ask!!

[sunnyyflowerrs]

things i’ve written!!

thought i’d add a little guide to stuff i’ve written for all the itafushi enjoyers out here <33 under cut!!

Ongoing:

fire extinguishers work just fine (50.1k, 19/22 chaps):

this is my current long fic, it’s a firefighter!yuuji and detective!megumi fic where they meet each other by chance and then work on an arson case together. slow burn, fluff, and mystery, gets a little more serious toward the end. (i post updates about this one too and it has some amazing art from my wonderful friends!! x x x NEW!! )

Completed:

is it gay if our pinkies are intertwined? (12.4k, 3/3. chaps):

this is just a very unserious, goofy, fluffy fic where megumi and yuuji get hit by a curse where they HAVE to hold hands and be touching each other. it’s sweet and silly, writing it with my love @kentuckyfriedmegumi

with some beautiful art !!

One-shots:

my preferred medium ;)

Fluff:

easy igor, you impetuous young boy (3.8k, G) - fluffy halloween fic where megumi is avoiding yuuji but yuuji can’t figure out why. there is a lot of pining somehow, even though it’s established relationship, and it’s about as tooth rotting as u can get.

copy cat (7.8k, T for kissing) - honestly, this one is just megumi beefing with a cat for like nearly 8k. megumi is jealous of a cat, yuuji is stubborn, they both are idiots and they fall in love. college roomates au

five times the first years thought their sensei had a girlfriend + one time they figured it out (5.2k, G) - this is set in the future where itafushi are teachers at jujutsu high, and the first years think itadori-sensei has a girlfriend named megumi. they are wrong on a lot of things. fluff, humor, and overall shiggles.

fushiguro megumi is not homophobic (1.1k, G) - short and sweet, gojo being chaotic, megumi being lovesick, and yuuji being a little dumb but it’s ok bc they get together.

a mustache and glasses should do it, right? (3.5k) - goofy lil fic where yuuji tries to ask out the cute librarian library worker, and fail successfully. EXTREMELY silly and awkward, cute little pick me up fic <3

kiss me at the kfc (under the christmas lights) (5.8k, G) - a christmas /birthday fic for my friend @kentuckyfriedmegumi!! just itafushi being sillies around christmas ft. yuuji getting megumi a dog for his birthday.

Bittersweet:

added this section in bc these aren’t really angst but not fluff either? more serious character studies but they are funny at times

you will continue to shine like gold in my memories (8.9k, T) - moments of megumi's life with yuuji, until their very last moments. TW: major character death.

makes the heart grow fonder (3.8k, G) - implied itafushi, but basically adult megumi accidentally time travels to before shibuya and talks to gojo. first ff i ever wrote and definitely one of my favorites!!

think fast (you only get one try) (3.3k, G) - slightly angsty megumi airport fic i wrote after 263 (lowk prophesied some things?!?) about gaining back his will to live. a little outdated since manga readers know what happened, but to this day one of my favorite fics ive written! light angst, character study, and ofc a happy ending. has a little ficlet second part, end credits

Angst:

i hope it’s not for sure, can you open up the door? (2.4k, T) - written for the JJK Gotcha for Gaza event, megumi is traumatized from the final battle and copes badly, but itadori isn’t letting him self destruct anytime soon. happy ending, ofc.

Not Itafushi:

i wanna throw the apple (into the sky) (5.7k, G) - a small story from the 'fire extinguishers work just fine universe' about megumi's childhood with satosugu. it's sent in universe for the multichapter, but can be read as a standalone!

ok, that’s enough of me yapping abt my fics. if you ending up checking them out, i’m always here to yap abt itafushi in the comments or in my ask box!! these two have rotted my brain fully. hope you guys enjoy <3

[spectrum-core]

STEPHCLAIR IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD

Alternative title: a very angry (and tired) Full Stop fan's thesis.

ok, so me being the stephan/sinclair comparison's strongest hater is a bit i really like to lean into, but for the sake of keeping things semi-serious i will try to keep the actual essay content as free of me ranting my frustrations as humanly possible (which i mean commitement to the bit aside this will be hard bc it is frustrating to see people calling them both the same character, at best it shows a very surface level understanding of either character and at worst it shows just reducing them to cookie cutter meme fandom archetypes neither character actually fits into, so bear with me if i slip up and make unserious comments from time to time)

so before i start the actual essay let me say this: this essay doesnt even scratch the surface of how much i hate this comparison you guys cant even possibly fucking imagine ive been obssessed and i mean OBSSESSED with the full stop office since 2021 and im glad i wasnt in the limbus prerelease fanbase because if i had to see people comparing my beautiful boy and beloved best friend to a guy we had no info about other than "hes based of the guy from demian" i would have turned into the joker this is not even about saving my own mental health this is about sparing the entire pjm fandom of the monster i would have turned into

spoilers for ruina and limbus, universe terminology heavy and surface level references and interpretations of demian by herman hesse because imma keep it real with you guys the first and only time i read that book i was still in high school and i barely remember shit.

Table of contents:

Stephan - a summary

Sinclair - a summary 2.1. Emil Sinclair in Demian (1919) 2.2. Emil Sinclair in Limbus Company (2023)

Addressing common arguments

1.- Stephan - a summary

And of course I will start with Stephan, because I love him very much, just like Liwei he's one of my favorite pjm characters (yeah i like him more than your favorite popular character don't ask) so it's not surprising that i have A Lot to say about him, right?

And of course, I do.

As I said in the serrated duo post, a core part of my perception of the Full Stop office depends on the fact that they are poor. Mentions of money are common all across many factions in the game, yes, but the Full Stops are extremely constant about money, how taking a wrong turn means losing more than they can afford, how they can't afford to drop their weapons because they were too expensive, how even getting the permissions to be able to buy and wield these weapons was ridiculously expensive and so on. Of course, Stephan is the one talking about this the most (something I will elaborate on later), but Liwei and Tamaki also make a few ocassional mentions to it in their dialogue and keypages and considering this is a shared business it just makes sense that this is something that affects all of them.

These are just some few of the callbacks to money that Stephan alone does in his dialogue, without focusing in keypage text or what Liwei and Tamaki have to say about it.

And idk man, at least to me the difference between social classes is an important aspect for their characterization, specially because of how constant the concern with money is for Stephan. From this point alone comparing them feels like erasing a core aspect of Stephan's characterization, a lot about Stephan (and the Full Stop office as a whole, let's be real here) starts making more sense once you read the office as lower-middle class (and I'm saying lower middle class because they can afford some place to live and their weapons, but to me these guys are the types who precisely because of their need to keep bullets at all times can't pay for water or electricity all the time and sometimes they simply can't afford food or if they do they can spend a week straight eating nothing but unsalted pasta).

Now, going back to Stephan being the most outward about his complaints with money, he is in general the most outward about all problems the office is facing, to the point in which he doesn't mind inconveniencing everyone else with his rants, being one of the few guests who interrupt Angela's introductory speech and getting into Tamaki's nerves (something he's well aware he's doing, as these two know each other) at least two times through the course of their pre-battle cutscene, even Roland comments after the reception on how he wishes he would always have been as open about his problems as Stephan was.

However, it's worth nothing that he doesn't spend the entire cutscene crying about his miseries, and he only starts losing hope at three key moments: when they can't kill Eileen inmediately (making them waste more bullets than needed), when Argalia shows up (forcing them to retreat and making them fail their mission, meaning they won't get paid for this after they already lost a ton of money, as well as turning the situation into something much more dangerous than what they had signed up for) and once they enter the Library (an Urban Plague grade threat they have little to no information about, when him and Tamaki are almost out of bullets so Liwei is essentially the only fixer with some chance of putting up a fight and, you know, making it out alive).

Now, while it's true that Stephan is someone who dislikes danger, he isn't someone who isn't used to seeing gruesome events, his instinctive reaction to seeing a guy getting his head put into a meat grinder was cracking jokes and calling the concept of thought gears "a load of horseshit", which is something that falls in line with him being a somewhat experienced Fixer (sure, grade 5 isn't amazing but we can assume it's still either in the higher side of average or barely above average, and for someone specialized in firearms, which are far from the best weapon in the city, getting that high means he must have some experience and skill, right? more so considering he's been at this for 5 years at most) who has seen a fair share of horrid shit and can be unfazed by (most of) it as long as his own safety isn't on the line.

Another point is... he dislikes danger and is always wary about money and expenses, to the point in which he enjoys checking his bank account (or at least he believes so, if we go for the theory of the artbook profiles being more a mix of what the characters perceive themseves as/would describe themselves as to others, which is a theory i go by, I see him as someone who's convinced he does that for fun instead as out of desperation), but this seems to be more a generalized feeling of impending doom at everything rather than something that can be traced back to a particular traumatic event (anything can be dangerous, anything can cost him money), dude's from the backstreets after all, he's seen shit and he's used to assuming the worst. How I see Stephan, he's a guy who already expects bad things to happen but once things go wrong he starts freaking out about how this time They're Screwed For Real, but he never really tricks himself into believing "maybe things will turn out just fine this time?" or who thinks "well, we've done this before, surely we can handle it again."

This is not very related to Stephan as a character in terms of personality but I think it's still an important point to make as it is particularly related to body mods, his physical condition and his body shape.

So we can easily say that Stephan is a strong dude, at least if compared to real world standards without the fancy and insane body mods we see people in the city have access to. He carries that huge rifle around with his bare hands, something that Tamaki doesn't do and that not even Stephan himself in earlier iterations of his dessign did, and his main talent (which based of my theories is something that can be assumed as "something he's proud enough of to consider it the thing he does best") is physical labor.

Pictured, Tamaki's talksprite, carrying a rifle almost as long as she is tall with a strap supporting the weight on her shoulders, like a normal person.

Also pictured, an earlier iteration of Stephan's dessign, carrying the same rifle his current version does, but also holding it with the help of a similar strap supporting the weight on his shoulders.

And finally, Stephan's current dessign, holding that shit with his bare fucking hands in an exhibition of his brute animal strength, what the fuck is wrong with this man (affectionate)

And Stephan's artbook profile, the important part here is his speciality being physical labor, not only he's strong but he aknowledges this.

However, I made a point about the Full Stop office being poor, right? Even Roland says that "giving a whole office augmentation procedures is cheaper than keeping a decent supply of bullets in stock" (not the exact phrasing).

At least personally, I see this as Roland essentially saying "it would be cheaper (and more efficient) to get body mods for everyone in the office and buy another (cheaper) type of weaponry instead", but as things stand, the Full Stops can afford to either buy more ammunition and maintain their weapons, OR to get body mods, and since their whole deal is firearms... well, they can't really Stop investing in them, meaning they have no body mods At All and they got their grades purely out of their own physical strength.

Similarly, Stephan makes a similar point about how body augmentations are required for people to be able to run while carrying their weapons around (specifically talking about the rifles he and Tamaki use).

And... you know, the whole point is that they couldn't run carrying their weapons because they were too heavy, Argalia mocked them for that, Liwei urged them to drop their weapons, something they refused to do because of the prices.

Lastly on this point, while it's true that Ruina talksprites have a very bad case of Long Anime Legs (to the point in which how Roland's legs take about 2/3 of his height is a common joke), if we focus only on his head and torso, Stephan looks pretty Wide, and not only because he's wearing thick, fluffy and multilayered clothing, as other characters wearing similar clothing styles still look thinner than him.

This is all to say: I don't think this guy is a twink, or thin at all. He's a prime example of the strongman build to me and this is yet another hill I'm willing to die on watch project moon turn him into a beanpole once he inevitably shows up in limbus and me turning into the first real world distortion as a consequence.

Finally, Stephan is very notoriously the most informal member of the office, not only being the only one who doesn't wear any sort of formal clothing fully prioritizing comfort and practicality over looks but also completely disregarding formalities with his attitude at work (again, he interrupts Angela's introductory monologue, and again, his first two lines when being introduced are him cracking jokes), being the only member of the office to swear on screen and using several informal expressions and metaphors through both the reception dialogue and his keypage story.

And for good measure, he's a compilation of Stephan being the creature he is.

The literal introduction of the characters, also known as the moment in which Stephan became one of my favorite characters because he's Just Like Me Fr

Very normal behavior for someone who hates blood and violence and isn't used to seeing it. This man is more than capable (and willing, assuming money is involved) to murder kill.

Which, I mean, this attitude is very different from what we see from Sinclair.

2.- Sinclair, a summary

In retrospect I probably should have made this one first because I'm gonna be honest with you, Sinclair is one of the sinners I care about the least (I still like him and think he's pretty cool mind you I just don't vibe too much with most of the tropes making up the character) so what I have to say about him is less me grasping for straws and subtext because I don't care enough about him to be bothered with a super serious and in depth analysis like I did with Stephan and more things we can explicitly see about him in game and things that happen in the novel Demian.

And if I can have a small parenthesis here, people saying that one of my favorite pjm guys Ever is in any way similar to a guy who despite being pretty cool is just Not the type of character I fully vibe with... really, it gets annoying fast. Anyway back to the serious analysis now.

2.1- Emil Sinclair in Demian (1919)

To be able to understand Sinclair as he is depicted in Limbus Company, it is important to first be familiar with the source material of the original iteration of the character, that's it we're doing your high school homework by compiling several literary analysis of a symbolic psychological early 20th century autobiographical novel i hope you guys signed up for this (and if you didn't, though luck! i will do this anyway, I love literary analysis).

In the novel, young Emil finds himself torn between the worlds of light (which can be equated to the Garden of Eden, but it's more tangible meaning for our protagonist is his childhood home and family, a serene and well structure/organized space where he can be innocent, untainted by the evils of the outside world) and darkness (basically all the scary shit that goes on outside, where people do evil things for the sake of it), he finds himself tempted by the violence of the outside world, particularly through the actions of his classmate Franz Kromer, which eventually leads him to consider that due to being exposed to this tainted world of evil he no longer can return to the world of good and innocence.

Here, the character of Demian acts as a guide, someone who helps Sinclair to trascend this binary perception of good vs evil and to see himself as someone worthy of happiness because him witnessing the world of evil didn't taint him as a person but rather merely showed him another face of the world, Demian here mentions the Mark of Cain as a symbol of mental strenght and freedom, considering that bearers of this mark are capable of making their own choices and should be able to go beyond their assigned roles, being able to embody aspects of both worlds. This is to say that Demian's view is less focused on good vs evil, instead taking a more order vs chaos approach (without giving an explicit moral character to either).

In the book, the symbol of a bird breaking out of the egg is frequently used to represent Emil's personal growth, the egg represents safety and innocence, but a bird must eventually leave the egg or it will die, and getting out of the egg is a process than can be seen as violent, as a bird must fight to get out of the egg, and getting out of the egg represents birth but also an irreversible change, it can be seen as breaking out of the world of light and getting permanently in the world of darkness since a broken shell can't be fixed, but it can also mean achieving the enlightment and personal balance to not feel permanently bound to a condition, place or state of being and therefore growing as a person by learning to see himself as a whole human instead of supressing his "evil side" by only forcing the "good side" to surface.

Max Demian is here to show this second meaning of growth/self improvement (while also explaining that Sinclair is permamently growing and must always keep this balance between all the parts conforming the whole being that is himself rather that trying to make parts of himself antagonize each other). This idea of personal growth being one of the core themes of the book.

2.2- Emil Sinclair in Limbus Company (2023)

With Sinclair's source media analyzed (at a very surface level, mind you), we now can start talking about the depiction of Sinclair in Limbus Company, how it parallels the book, why the book symbolism is important for this instance of Sinclair and so on.

When we are first introduced to Sinclair in the game he's clearly nervous, he doesn't know what he's supposed to do as he hasn't worked for a similar company before and he isn't used to the gruesome sight of the bus eating people, this does fit inmediately in the motif of a naive person with limited experience about the world (well, to be fair to him most people won't be seeing man-eating buses at a regular basis, but the average backstreets dweller would be familiar with equally violent situations).

With this said, despite Sinclair's obviously nervous behavior... he isn't really a pessimist like Stephan was, in fact, almost every chapter (counting cantos, intervallos and the short mini chapters such as the Dante's notes update episode) have at least one key moment with him trying to rationalize horrible stuff as something much less violent, or simply going "but I thought this thing didn't work like this..." when confronted with the more horrible realities in the city. He thought the G corp veterans were really going to let them pass without a fight, he thought the people being controlled by headhens were just actors wearing mascot costumes, he thought mermaids were the beautiful half-woman half-fish creatures he heard about in fairy tales, and there's more examples but I don't really feel like looking for The Entire Fucking Plot Because This Guy Is An Actual Protagonist Instead Of A Background Guy Like Stephan Was to make my point clearer than it already is. And it's only when he realizes that the real world doesn't fit his expectations that he panics.

Well, there is one exception to this pattern: his own canto. Here, he panics inmediately as soon as K corp's nest is mentioned and spends the first half of the chapter pleading to turn back while saying that they are going to get killed. So what is different here with the rest of the plot?

Obviously, the fact that is related to his very own very personal very specific trauma. That is to say, unlike Stephan who is wary of anything that can put him on danger or cost him more money than it should, Sinclair has a very specific traumatic event that makes him act Like That (sure, he gets scared and nervous outside that, but these are more normal "I'm unfamiliar with this and I don't fully know how to react, this is normal behavior in a human being" reactions than outright "I am Actually Terrified due to being reminded of an actual traumatic event, this reaction is a textbook definition of post-traumatic stress disorder").

HOWEVER, Sinclair being someone who's deeply traumatized and kind of a scaredy cat when it comes to violence and unfamiliar situations... it doesn't mean that he's incompetent or a bad fighter. Almost all of his identities are terrifyingly good fighters (at least in their lore), Los Mariachis fear jefe Sinclair, Cinq director Sinclair is someone most association members are terrified to duel even during training, Blade Lineage Sinclair is considered a talented killer (it's also worth noting that save maybe for the mariachi one, in none of these mirror worlds Sinclair is precisely happy of being recognized as "the guy who's very scary when he fights people", unlike Stephan who I don't think he particularly likes killing but has a more "as long as I get paid..." mentality about it), the only "not very good at this" Sinclair id I can think of is the molar boatworks id where he's more a mechanic than a fighter so he fears he's lagging behind in that aspect. Hell, even the Canon Timeline so to speak (which is to say: his base identity) has him carrying that huge halberd, going on a frenzy attacking some already mutilated inquisitor's corpse, piercing through Guido's armor and dealing a fatal blow that finally killed him for real. To compare, Stephan is good at physical work, but we don't know about his close combat capacities other than the fact that he dislikes it, for Sinclair however we know he's terrifyingly good at physical combat.

Now, I've seen a lot of people call Sinclair a twink and while it's one of these words that nobody agrees on what it means, let's give it the benefit of doubt and say "alright, for the duration of this analysis let's settle on a twink being a young looking (regardless of actual age), thin man with almost no facial/body hair".

Since Sinclair is a rich guy (not just Any Rich Guy though, we're talking of someone whose family had ties to a Wing, probably not some elite guy like Daniel or Hong Lu, but not a self perceived "mediocre" nest dweller like Samjo either), and pressumably not very experienced in combat in most mirror worlds (we know he has no prior experience in the base one where he joined Limbus, at least), let's say that he has enough body mods for him to be much stronger than he looks like despite being thin, he does look thin and young and much to my dissapointment he also has no facial hair, so yeah, under this very broad definition of the term he is a twink.

However if you start adding personality archetypes to the definition he stops being one almost inmediately, as we've been shown time after time that his "submissive" attitude is mostly a result of him not knowing too well how to impose himself and just going along with what the rest say or do, but he's starting to grow tired of that ever since Hell's Chicken (even if he clearly still isn't great at that), as it should be more than obvious for anyone who even just googled "demian herman hesse literary analysis", Sinclair is undergoing a lot of changes even now, and the game is doing a good job at portraying that.

Honestly I also think he'd be hotter with a sleeper build but really, I don't care enough about him to argue about that.

And for the last point, precisely due to his upbringing as a rich guy AND his traumatic experience with Kromer, Sinclair is not only a very polite and mild mannered guy (again, unlike resident creature Stephan), but also he tries to take as little space as possible, both literally and metaphorically, as Dante notices near the end of canto 3 when they finally comment on how Sinclair never talks about his own problems until it's too late because he doesn't want to bother the others as they probably have it worse (again, unlike Stephan "i don't mind loweing team morale and making everyone in the room uncomfortable as long as i get to vent" Full Stop office).

3.- Adressing common arguments

Alright, now that I talked about each character, let's see some of the most common arguments I've seen people use to compare them.

"They look the same!" No, they don't. The only thing they have in common is being blonde but even their hairstyles are different with Sinclair having a simple bowl-ish cut with slightly wavy hair and Stephan having curlier hair (not to mention the whole point I made about body types because I'm the sort of lunatic who cares about that stuff). I won't even bother with this argument.

"They have the same personalities!" Again, they don't. Stephan is very cynical with a lot of his attitude being clearly derivated from him coming from a poor background and having stayed there his whole life, he also doesn't care about his cynism getting in the way and bothering everyone else. On the other hand, Sinclair is someone who could almost be described as naive due to having lived a sheltered childhood and only having his experiences with Kromer and his time at Limbus as moments of realizing that the rest of the world is Not Like His Childhood House, still believing that the world is a binary of good vs evil and expecting things to turn out fine or be much better than they actually are, just to be hit with the reality of the city Not being a nice place where people are nice and polite and not trying to kill him, this is not to say he doesn't have his own issues but even Dante notices during his Canto that Sinclair makes a point to avoid bothering everyone else with his personal problems, keeping them to himself even if that makes things worse on the long run.

"Both are opposed and harmed by a lunatic!" This is an argument I've seen a lot and is incredibly filmsy at best, half of the city's population are lunatics and the other half are people who got opposed by them some way or another. Will you say that Ishmael and the rest of the Pequod crew can be compared to the Full Stop office (or really, even mention the other Full Stop fixers instead of just focusing on Stephan because he happens to be blonde and can be compared to Sinclair) because of their situations with Ahab? Or the W Corp crew who got their train targetted by Jae-heon and Elena (or, you know, the train passengers who were turned into Love townspeople or puppets)? What about the Vermillion Cross who got killed by the Reverb Ensemble? Or the Cane office fixers? or the Zwei association section 6 who got beaten to death by Gyeong-mi just because he felt like doing so? Or the Liu association section 1 who had to deal with Argalia taking Philip away? Or the Kurokumo clan members when they were attacked by Tanya? You aren't comparing them to either Stephan or Sinclair, right? Not to mention that in her weird and fucked up perception of things, Kromer was less opposed to Sinclair as she was trying to lead him to join her and her cause, even the last things she says before getting killed are her calling him to follow her.

"Both are compared to birds!" Oh, right, because I forgot that a very directed symbolic comparison to a baby bird breaking out of it's shell as a symbol of rebirth, learning about the nuances of the world and self improvement/liberation that is consistently used in the source material Sinclair comes from is exactly the same as one (1) throwaway line the big bad guy uses to mock not only Stephan but the whole Full Stop gang, right. And if you want to say "but Tamaki compares him to a bird once too", yeah she calls him a parrot because he keeps repeating the same complaints over and over, it's still not the same as a consistent metaphor.

"Both are sad blonde twinks! They're essentially the same guy." Sad? Yeah, everyone in the city is sad but their ways to be sad are polar opposites, and neither of them is the pure cinnamon roll uwu crybaby archetype people tend to lump both into, Stephan was merely having a bad day and people decided to make that his whole personality (when honestly we get more insight on his actual personality before Argalia shows up, when he's making sarcastic remarks and getting impatient because they weren't starting killing people fast enough) but he's still perfectly capable (and willing) to murder people, and Sinclair is just... someone who lacks experience about the real world and how it works and has a tendency to get nervous because of this, but he can adapt quickly to situations once he understands them. Blonde? Yeah, but I guess if that's a point to draw a comparison then we should also compare them to Don Quixote, the Tiphereths, Lenny, Yun, Lulu, Olga, every single npc, librarian, and agent who comes with blonde hair from the generator... Twinks? Stephan absolutely isn't one, Sinclair depends on how you define twink as nobody seems to get to an agreement with that, if you define it as merely "young looking thin man with almost no visible body hair" then yeah he is one, but if you go for any more specific definition than that he stops fitting into the definition almost instantly.

In conclusion: if I see anyone else comparing them I'll start blocking people liberally bc I'm sick of seeing that shit (I do that already tbh but just so you know), now scram

[gmmtv-bl-tournament-but-evil]

i’m a nlmg defender. maybe the execution wasn’t always the best, partially because of some of the writing decisions (but i think a lot of those can be attributed to the fact that it was heavily based on thai 90’s action films that weren’t always the most serious and weren’t supposed to be), partly because it seemed like gmmtv didn’t give the editors any time to breathe let alone actually do their jobs, and partly because some of the song choices used were so extremely unserious, but it was a solid story that explored really interesting dynamics and i’m not exaggerating when i say the show warped the brain chemistry of my household when it aired. my roommate and i were glued to the tv every week when it aired. sometimes, we would rewatch the episode immediately after watching it the first time. tumblr user @justafriend-ql has some really interesting and well thought-out meta posts about the show and really beautiful gifsets from the show that i urge everybody to check out if they have the time !! i think they really get to the heart of why i found it to be such a wonderful show. i also think pond and phuwin are great at what they do and have really amazing chemistry together. it really seems, to me at least, that they grew a lot as actors from their time filming nlmg because they were able to explore completely different characters/dynamics than they were able to explore in their previous works.

when it comes to the nlmg/the eclipse poll itself, i will say, i abstained from voting because both of the shows mean a lot to me and made me insane in their own ways. i hate to see two queens be pit against each other 💔 but i understand it had to happen at some point for the sake of the poll haha

I can really feel your genuine affection for NLMG in the way you talk about it, which is very very sweet! I agree that PondPhuwin are actively developing their acting with every show but I can't speak to the other factors you bring up 'cause I really don't know enough to do so, thank you for this interesting knowledge tho! When it comes to my opinions about the show, I have to say that I was very excited by the prospect when it was announced but ultimately found it lacking substance when it ended. I will still watch PondPhuwin shows in the future, and look forward to them even! Those dudes are neat!

As for pitting two queens against each other, this is literally the Pit Two Queens Against Each Other Tournament, and we hate the monarchy here!! 🤣 You have to vote!

[soursfilms]

@ portwells, if you for a second even think that mack and gina could be serious you’re just plain dumb, i’m sorry. this is the only way i can articulate it at this point. this is the last season. i’m gonna need you to be so serious right now and use the brain that the lord gave you for once. both mack and dani are clear plot devices to add drama for rina, that’s it. they’re guest stars! and if you actually read interviews and articles, and reviews from screeners who watched the episodes early, you’d know that plot ends mid season. (woops spoiler but idgaf!) most of the stills of them are from the literal hsm4 movie they’re filming and he’s her childhood crush. i can promise you, gina, nor no one in real life is gonna end up with their childhood crush. (sorry to crush your dreams, but you will in fact not marry any one direction member that you had hanging up on a poster on your wall, and funny enough, gina has literal ¡placemats! with mack’s face on it if you look at the dinner table still because gina and her mom were fans of his show. a show in which ricky took the theme song of to write a song for gina and was released as a sneak peak already. extremely unserious all around)

portwells want to cling unto them because they’re bitter, as if we can’t see right through you. i wonder if y’all have ever watched an actual teen drama show in your life. clearly y’all haven’t and apparently haven’t seen interviews with the actual creator of the show speaking about the plot lines about HIS story, because if you did you would not be hitting post on your absurd takes. (not to mention, gina and ricky are clearly in love with each other. that’s something you all need to make peace with. especially if you claim to like gina, just accept it and be happy for her that she’s happy even if you don’t necessarily are a fan. he’s the guy she wants and you cannot change that.)

also, saw someone say ej and ricky being older means they’re both in different life stages than her so they wouldn’t work out?? (first, you don’t even know how old mack is. so i know you feel very stupid right now) and that’s not the same and you know it. gina still had TWO years to go in high school compared to ej, and she tried to make a future with him (those are her words) but it didn’t work out because it was not meant to be. mentally they were in different places. ricky and gina are only a year apart and closer in mindsets, and there’s actual love between them, that they will fight for (in the words of can i have this dance which they sang as a #real ship does “what we have is worth fighting for”) you cannot compare the writing of rina to portwell. one is clearly developed and well written and favored by the writer of the show, while the other was a plot device….let’s stop being bitter and just be at peace with the story the creator wanted to create. if you don’t like it just do not watch.

[rosechilds-writing-desk]

"I hereby promise:

I will serve with the angels' courage. I will serve the angels' justice and I will serve with the angels' mercy. Until such time as I die, I will be one of the Shadowhunters." - Excerpt from the Shadowhunter Oath, modified slightly.

Greetings, I am Jens Rosechild, I am one of the Nephilim and a proud Shadowhunter. Please only use my last name unless we are close but feel free to use RC or shorten it to Rose. This is not a roleplay or fandom blog, I'm wereangel guy who is over 25. My pronouns are he/they or sang/liers. I am currently still trying to navigate my gender.

I am single and I do not have a Parabatai.

I will be both serious and totally unserious on this blog. I am one to make jokes about transing my gender and being various levels of gay. So please do not be surprised when I use "kinning" as a verb in my tags or to be funny. I am not KFF and I don't really want KFF around, they tend to bring fandom wank which quite frankly has no place in the Alterhuman community and makes me extremely uncomfortable as a fictionkin and as the host of a system that's fictive heavy! Chosen kin are more than allowed though! Choicekin, copinglink, funlink, and more!

I do like to kind of "act" as my kintypes sometimes. I'm psychological kin but I do kind of lean into my kintypes as a coping mechanism. But I do also expierence mental shifts which may cause me to present differently. So essentially: sometimes I'm talking like that on purpose. Sometimes, I'm not.

To get into specifics, I am a Psychological alterhuman. All of my identities are derived from "brain weird".

You can see my list of kintypes + other information about me here, it is best viewed on desktop but should still be legible on mobile, the header will simply look a bit wonky.

I am the host of a system, and I use I/we interchangeably depending on the situation. We're traumagenic but I don't know much about us and this blont isn't that strongly about that.

Tags:

Nsft tag is "[classifed clave files 🔞]" but isn't often needed/used. However I won't tag fully clothed dudes in pup masks existing sorry dears.

[From the desk of x with love] type tags often indicate that I've posted something for another member or mention something they said. Unless it says Rosechild, then that's just me.

Posts about different kintypes have their on tags which are self explanatory.

I enforce my right to privacy happily and often. "No." is a complete sentence.

[lestappenwdc]

Australia unserious serious race overview

If you're new here i decided to do a short recap of each race after it's done on here, mostly for my own sake so I dont forget what happened in each race.

This recap will be less unserious since the results were 😐 not by my liking and I have serious topics to cover.

Bahrain part 1 Bahrain part 2 Jeddah part 1 Jedah part 2

Australia will be 1 part under a cut

1. Ferrari

Oohhh boy. Do I have thoughts.

Most of my thoughts are summed up in this post I made discussing how Charles not attacking was not due to team orders and how attacking would not have helped him. Now I'd rather move on from this since every time I think about who won I want to cry.

I am really pissed off today but not because of ferrari and team orders but because the one time charles is out of the front row in 8 races Max DNFs thus giving everyone else a chance. I know, I know I should want Charles to beat Max on track and that's probably what Charles wants also BUT it does not erase the fact that cs55 is so lucky with his front row starts that he is now 2/2 qualis he was better than Charles in the last 10 races that lead to Max/Red Bull having issues. What kind of luck do you have on your side? And can the rest of us get some?

On the positive side Charles is now closer in the championship to Max than any driver has been probably since Bahrain 2023 lol. And I will choose to look on the bright side and remember that after Singapore Charles obliterated Carlos in every single race and hope that this one sparks a similar fire in him. You got this Charlie.

2. Mclaren

They were good I guess. They had no one to fight with thanks to Mercedes. I feel like they had a slightly better race than the last 2. I will not talk about the team orders since they did undercut Lando with Oscar's strategy in the beginning. So I have.. no opinion on it. Especially since Oscar made a big mistake towards the end that everyone kinda overlooked with everything that happened after. He would not have been on the podium either way. He lost a lot of seconds there I dont remember how much but it was a lot. Lando would've overtaken for sure.

3. Aston Martin

Stroll had an amazing drive here 🙌. I like to hate on him sometimes but not today. Amazing quali amazing drive great points.

Alonsos move in the end? Extremely dangerous to do on a street track surrounded by walls. I'm happy he got the penalty (although I didn't expect 20 fucking seconds????? Idk what is happening with the penalties being so harsh this year but I like it)

4. Red Bull

Poor Maxie. We are so not used to seeing this that it felt like a fever dream. What the fuck happened? And on the race he was supposed to match his streak 😭. Anyway he'll live. At least now he gets to fight Charles (yes I'm delulu what about it)

Perez was invisible. Were RB slow here or is Perez just mid? Well I guess we'll never know (but we can take a wild guess). He could not pass the Mclarens? Really?

5. RB

YUKI TSUNODA THE MAN THAT YOU ARE!!!!!! I can not explain to you guys how happy I am with 6 points for Yuki jgjejxjwnd that's insane.

Daniel did ok I guess. He had a more difficult drive too but I only care about Yuki today. So so happy.

6. Haas

Did you guys see this drive by both Haases? Did you see what they did? They climbed the most out of everyone. Both in the points????? How did we get here? I don't know but I love it. Hulk is for some reason growing on me more and more. So is Kevin. Idk what happened. Double points for Haas. Who would've thought. Amazing. So excited for them.

7. Williams

James Vowles I'm in your walls. Men will do nothing but disappoint. Would Logan have done better than Alex? Probably not. Is it okay what they did to him? Absolutely not. And they didn't even manage to get a singular point. Disgusted disappointed and flabbergasted. Was it worth it James? Cos I don't think it was. Wasnit worth it for Alex to lose respect in Logans eyes? I don't think so either. And before someone goes but it wasn't Alex fault. If I was in Logans place I would lose respect for Alex for allowing this to happen I said what I said. I would never consider him on my side anymore if I ever did.

This coupled with Alex saying he'd rather have a teammate that's bad so he can get all the praise? Falling lower and lower. Not yet daniel-lando-carlos level of low, far from it, but still dissapointed in him.

8. Alpine

Woohoo can you believe they are not last on my list for once? They did something guys!!! The thing they did is they are not BOTH dead last. Only Este is. AND no one dnfed. Actually there is not much to celebrate. Next race I guess

9. Sauber

Idk what was in the air in Bahrain but Sauber are getting worse and worse. Zhou has completely disappeared. Bottas had another 1 min pit stop (what is it with bottas and put stops?????) And they were just... they were bad. This is starting to look very similar to last year and they gave me hope for .2 seconds for NOTHING!

10. Mercedes

Damn. Where do I start. So nice of Hamilton to park his car in solidarity of Max dnf ing. We love a supportive king. In all seriousness tho (because this is a serious race overview) Mercedes suck. The car sucks. First engine failure of the year and its their own car 3 races into the season. It's not looking good at all.

George oh my god. On one side it's funny bc this exact same thing happened in Singapore? That's insane? I'm ready to light some candles about how crazy it is. On another more important side, it was so so scary. The placement of his car was so dangerous. His radio was so devastating. I cant even imagine sitting there in the middle of the road and just waiting for a car to hit you at 300kmph without being able to do anything about apart for yell for a red flag and hope they listen. So traumatic. I hope he's okay mentally after this. I know these people are stronger than us and their relationship with death and fear is different than mine but this cannot be easy. God I have tears in my eyes just writing about it. Poor George 🥺

That's it. Thank you for reading. There is not conclusion to this I simply covered everything ND my thoughts on everyone 😌

[yuhenglesbian]

This is perhaps not the main point of this post but I feel like people genuinely forget that Ruby is also very much NOT over Ai's death.

Emotionally, she's very likely to be in the same space as Aqua. OnK is Aqua's story largely so we don't see much of Ruby and her grief, and are therefore not shown what her process of making sense of Ai's death and the subsequent changes were. We are asked to take Aqua's word for it when he says that Ruby will bounce back because of her personality but holding onto a not-that-serious wish of a dead person is not a sign of "having moved on" from that person's death. And later when Akane emulates Ai on Love Today, Ruby has the same reaction to seeing her — she too, sees Ai.

We know for a fact that Ruby does not have a healthy understanding of daughterhood. The heaviest wounds she carries from her past life are of having failed her mother, and it is abundantly clear that when she holds onto Ai as her mother she is also holding on to a desire to not fail her. Hence, why she is so insistent on becoming an idol.

Her relationship with Goro in this light is interesting because while she qualifies him as her “first love” and on the surface, seems to be harbouring a crush on him, what is also central to their relationship is the fact that Goro was the first adult who provided her with positive regard. She's twelve when she first meets him, and while that is an age where romantic attraction begins to take root, it is entirely likely that what Ruby/Sarina labels as romantic love, is more likely a desire for closeness to someone who is good to her without expectations. [On the same note, Goro's “you can ask me to marry you when you're older” is just unserious deflection intended to not hurt Sarina's feelings because Goro is aware of her emotional fragility, parental abandonment and all.]

Ruby is of course, emotionally still not at a place where she can rationally view her feelings for Goro. Her own death, followed by her rebirth and the subsequent readjustment into a different life and body, and then witnessing the death of the person who provided her emotional strength (Ai specifically), has undoubtedly had an impact on her emotional growth. She's emotionally volatile because her grief doesn't get an outlet: Children are often far more emotionally astute than adults are willing to give them credit for; and Aqua's 180° flip most probably cemented into Ruby/Sarina that she must not change for the sake of not making people around her worry. Unlike Aqua, she isn't signed into therapy so beyond what is overtly shown (Ruby as cheerful and arguably "well-adjusted", everyone around her assuming the same), we have nothing to really ground the claims of "Ruby has moved on with her life". And we know how fraught things on the surface are throughout OnK's story.

Ruby's emotional volatility also lends to OP's commentary of her mental instability. Her reactions are extreme because none of her hurt and loss is entirely processed, and so she must act out in order to stay the pain that processing everything would actually cause. In that light, I do think Ruby's reaction to finding out Aqua's real identity in chapter 123 is preparing the stage for an untoward and unexpected (by Aqua) series of events. Akasaka has consistently touched upon sexual abuse and harassment for both major and minor side characters so far, and at the risk of sounding insane Yokohari's praise for OnK music coming at this time may genuinely be foreshadowing of what can possibly come. We will simply have to watch the story unfold as it goes.

After reading 123, I'm surprised (or maybe not) that people miss the point of the chapter. It's pretty much revealing what was Aqua doing from 105 till now: his mission to make everyone hate him so no one miss him when he's gone. When Ruby hated him, he was fine with it. When he met Akane in 106, it wasn't because he was unconsciously asking for help, but instead provoking her to hate him. When he laughed in 117, it wasn't because he manipulated Kana (he still hasn't) but instead because he thought everything was going too easy and had it in the bag, but now in 122-123 he finally had the moment of truth of manipulating Ruby, but he couldn't. He had to go against his own plan and reveal the truth because Ruby was getting too involved in the revenge plan without his control (something similar to Akane that led to the break up). Crow loli said it was a bad move because it made him notice that he didn't manage to drop his naivety at all. But then there's also Ruby. With this chapter we have confirmation that Ruby is maybe the most mentally unstable character of the main cast: she was a happy girl trying to carry on Ai's legacy while also wanting to meet Goro. Once she found out Goro was dead, she went on a mental breakdown and her whole personality changed. When Aqua revealed Ai's secret, her personality once again did a switch and wiped all the good memories she had about Aqua. When she saw her mother happy with a new family, her personality flipped once again making her hate everyone, and when Aqua revealed that he was Goro, her personality once again flipped, now being happy with him and memoryholing everything that happened till that moment. This is the second part of the bad move that Crow loli said: Ruby is too mentally unstable and uncontrollable, her current state will lead to the complete opposite that Aqua wants for both the movie and her future. But of course, shitposting about incest is more engaging.

Wow ok this random commenter seems to be on point with the literary analysis

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

you are officially the strongest person alive for not just closing the askbox after some of the trash you've gotten from idiots on this site. gdspeed and good luck holy hell

I've received a lot of asks like this one so I wanna respond and clarify

I actually love getting asks and even anon asks. I prefer having anon on bc yk big boy blog and all that but also so that people can send me their silliest things.

I really do truly genuinely enjoy having this blog and especially interacting w it. I've made a lot of friends recently and it's just fun to be able to talk ab the cringe failgame from a decade ago. Both for myself and in front of such a large audience.

Ever since I became aware I'm literally in the top 10 on skyrim blogs (at #9 but still) some of my anons started making a lot more sense. The power of anonymity makes people braver, which is good for things like funny headcanons and such.

I don't really like having to turn anon off and god I hope I don't have to shut asks off entirely. Fortunately once I turned anon off my inbox became a lot more peaceful. Funny that.

If I were to compare the two I'm sure I've gotten much more love than hate, but hate is much louder than love. And I know me giving it attention doesn't help much of anything but on the other hand people can and do throw around serious words about an unserious video game on unserious posts from an unserious person.

Even if I ignored all of it, just having to see it can feel so draining. And it isn't just in my inbox. It's also in the tags. I've repeatedly tried to express how deeply uncomfortable I am, AS A JEWISH PERSON OF COLOR, with people throwing words like racist and genocide around all willy nilly over video game characters.

It trivializes those real world issues, that have affected me, my ancestors, and people like me, down to fucking. Skyrim discourse. It's extremely frustrating. And from what I can see I don't think anyone is doing it maliciously or to get a rise out of me. But I think the sheer weight of those words has gotten lost.

And not to pull another race card, but this is especially upsetting from white people. I'm not thrilled about the fact white people keep talking over me and other people of color in the fandom about what is and isn't racist.

But I do also see the love. I see the cats in my inbox and the lovely asks and people writing paragraphs to defend me (when tbh I haven't done anything wrong anyways but. Eh.) and it's genuinely very touching and sweet and even if I don't reply to it (there's a lot to reply to!) I do see it and I appreciate it.

And for the poll, I fully plan on seeing it through. Round 2 closes tomorrow after which I'll set up round 3/the semi finals and then we go to the championship!

I started this poll, also this blog, for fun. I want people to have fun. I want to have fun. And most of the time I do have fun! But with the uptick in activity that brings *gestures vaguely* what it does.

Tumblr is one of those very few websites with true anonymity. This and reddit are the only ones I can think of where it's not expected to have your name, face, or other info about you anywhere. Which is a rare blessing on today's internet but it makes people very audacious about what they can and can't say to me.

I think because of that anonymity it's easy to forget I'm a human person. I very much doubt some of things I've had said to me in the last 48 hours would still be said if it was face to face. I truly don't think someone would look me in the eye and tell me to kill myself over skyrim bullshit.

And the funny part of that is if they did, I'd probably laugh in real life. For the sheer ridiculousness of the statement. "Hey. You. End your life because of video game drama" spoken to me at the local Target would be funny to me. But with the anonymity it feels just as hurtful as I'm sure it's supposed to be.

Thanks for letting me ramble and such. I'm not really even sure what I'm trying to say with all this. Other than I'm human, you're human, we're all humans, and we'd do well to remember that. Please just be nice to each other..

And be nice to me.

[fabraies-archive]

TR CHARACTERS AS F1 DRIVERS — FT RAN & RINDOU HAITANI, SANZU HARUCHIYO, MANJIRO SANO

content — assigning each character an f1 driver & imagining what kind of driver they’d be + how they act at races w their gfs

notes —this is very impulsive and it stems from my recent obsession with f1 idk i thought it could be a cool concept and I don’t think anyone has done this b4 so here. as always reblogs are appreciated!!

RAN HAITANI

totally max verstappen. i feel like ran would tend to be a very impatient driver if he happens to lose control, and while he outwardly maintains a professional and calm image, he is a very reckless driver nonetheless, and this trait could very well be his undoing. One the bright side, his habit of getting angered over seemingly trivial things is proof than ran constantly strives for perfection, and works extremely hard to be the best driver on the grid.

the way ran would treat his girlfriend is where the similitudes between him and max end. In contrast to verstappen, i think ran would actually be very open about his private life and would not hesitate to show you off and boast about you in post-race interviews, on his instagram, twitter, literally everywhere. lucky you!

RINDOU HAITANI

charles leclerc. technically, I don’t think they actually would have a lot in common, I’m just saying that because I’m 100% sure that even if ran and rindou end up on the same team, there will still be rivalry going on. i know many people talk about how they’re literally super close and all, but come on. they’re brothers. there’s absolutely zero chance that there isn’t at least a tiny bit of competition between the two. Aside from that, charles is a very calm driver that constantly owns up to his mistakes and never blames the team; while I don’t think rindou would go to this degree of sympathy, i definitely think he’d always have a second thought for his team.

this is actually pretty funny, because I think in terms of private life & relationships, rindou would definitely resemble max more. definitely super private about everything, and doesn’t really talk about it unless he has to. he still loves you to bits though, he’s only doing this to protect you from the media.

SANZU HARUCHIYO

lando norris. both of them have rather colourful personalities (not considering sanzu’s is only like that due to drugs), and like to have fun. Confidence, wit and charm are their trademark, and that’s how both of them got so popular. Lando has talked about how he felt he wasn’t serious enough at times, and joked around too much, and i truly believe sanzu would adopt this exact attitude, the only difference being that he would never admit to it. Sanzu is definitely the type of guy to speak is mind, wether people are happy about it or not, and I’m sure he would have as big of a social media presence as lando. Overall, sanzu is a laid-back driver, with little concern about winning. As long as he’s on the podium.

to be very honest with you, i really can’t picture f1 driver!sanzu being in a relationship at all. As already mentioned, sanzu is a very laid-back person, and tends to be very unserious most of the time so either, A) his uncaring personality scares women away, or B) he breaks up with them because they don’t give him enough “freedom”. sorry.

MANJIRO “MICKEY” SANO

okay he really hit the jackpot with this one but I swear this is all objective: lewis hamilton. think about it: in the bonten timeline, mickey becomes bonten’s leader. Lewis’ disdain for rules totally matches up with mickey who technically doesn’t have to obey to any rules at all. Both of them are very independent and polarising, and don’t take bullshit from anyone. The only thing that I would say differentiates them from one another is probably lewis’ flashiness and lavish lifestyle. Mickey tends to keep more to himself, and wears the most mundane clothes to ever exist all the while being extremely wealthy.

When it comes to partners, I think Mickey would be like rindou or max, but like times ten. To be honest I don’t even think he would disclose anything about being in a relationship at all. He believes your relationship is something private, and nobody has the right to stick their nose into it.

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