#this is my first time doing a sort of analysis like this and its incredible

[stxrmcloud]

Charles Winchester: A study in Boston snobbery

(warning for spoilers from episodes in seasons six through eleven, including GFA, under the cut)

We're all aware of the Boston Brahmin Charles Emerson Winchester III, the Major that takes over after one Frank Burns after he gets to the loony bin. But Charles is no Frank Burns, and he shows his growth throughout the series.

Starting in season six, Charles makes his debut in the episode Fade Out, Fade In parts one and two. Almost immediately, he's shown to be an upper class snob who actually hates the idea of spending time in a MASH unit, calling it an "inflamed boil on the buttocks of the world". He shows his distaste for Colonel Potter's keeping him in the 4077th through getting onto Radar - "Corporal, I assure you, no one in Korea is madder than me." - and seemingly flaunting his abilities to Hawkeye and BJ in the Swamp - "Practically Chief of Thoracic Surgery at Boston General in this godforsaken...dump." Despite him not being thrilled at the idea of staying in the 4077th, he shows just a hint of vulnerability under the bloody scrubs. He talks with BJ, Hawkeye and Potter after a stint in OR, saying "I felt like an intern in there" and "I can't adjust to this." He isn't one to show emotions, especially not this soon into his debut. However, he does end up going along with a small prank of his own. The snake Hawkeye puts in his bed - "I wish you would have told us that before we put the snake in his bed!" (Hawkeye) - somehow finds it's way into his own. The only thing from Charles is a small, sly smile and a "Please.. Mozart."

His actions throughout seasons six and seven are more of the same, the same inflated ego and sharp wit. However, Major Ego in season seven gives a slight bit more dimension to the Charles character. He saves a life and ends up being very humble about it, telling Hawkeye that "[His] performance in OR today was inexcusable. I hesitated far too long before springing into action." However, seconds later, he's back to his usual inflated ego and 'higher than thou' thinking. He's still trying to get out of the 4077th, even now. And when someone comes along to write an article on him, he seizes the moment. "When the brass in Tokyo read this article about me, I shall be delivered from this muckhole and placed in a proper facility." he tells Hawkeye, wanting to finally have a way back to his lavish job in the hospital in Tokyo where he started. In a turn of surprise for almost everyone, Charles ends up rejecting the article that was supposed to be his ticket out of the "fetid and festering sewer" he called the 4077th, his dream. He won't let the reporter publish a lie after his patient mentioned in the article had complications after surgery. This could be something about not tarnishing the Winchester name, but I can't help but think that it's something more.. that maybe the façade Charles puts around himself is starting to crack.

His personality really starts to change in seasons eight and ten, with the episodes Morale Victory and Sons and Bowlers. In Morale Victory, Charles helps a pianist soldier gain his legs back, at the cost of a hand. He shows genuine concern for the patient, David, after he was told that he was a concert pianist. Charles goes out of his way to talk to Mulcahy about his feelings, feeling that he failed the patient. Mulcahy guides him to help him, telling him that "[He] can't let him waste that precious talent that God has given him." This is one of the very few times we see Charles actually speaking to Mulcahy about anything important. He finds - through Klinger - pieces that he can play, showing care and compassion that we see similarly in the season eleven episode Run for the Money with the patient that has a stutter like Charles's own sister. Like that episode, Charles ties this patient's experiences to his own, saying that he never had the gift to play the piano, but David does. Whenever Charles gets vulnerable in any of these episodes, he always ties it back to his own experiences and family. He does the same in Sons and Bowlers, letting down his walls around Hawkeye and telling him about his father. Charles has never let himself feel vulnerable around anyone, especially Hawkeye. "But where I have a father, you have a dad." - Charles

"Charles, you've never told me anything like this before." - Hawkeye

"Actually, Hawkeye, I've never told you anything before." - Charles

Charles being open about his own experiences and just being there for Hawkeye throughout the episode helped Hawkeye get closer to him at the end of it. They might not be friends, but they're closer than they were before the episode.

Goodbye, Farewell and Amen is the ending of MASH, where all the characters in the episode go through it as the war comes to an end. Charles ends up meeting a batch of Chinese musicians and attempts to teach them Mozart, a semblance of home in this war. However, things change when they get sent off in a POW wagon for the trade between Korea and America. They come back wounded, breaking Charles even more. He ends up smashing one of his records near the end of the episode, the same record as the one he tried to teach the Chinese soldiers. "My life will go on as expected... with one exception: For me, music has always been a refuge from this miserable experience. And now it will always be a... reminder." Charles says when asked about his future. Throughout his appearance on MASH, Charles has used records and music as a respite, just like he mentions. As he leaves Korea at the end of Goodbye, Farewell and Amen, he leaves behind a piece of him.. the music he once cherished lies broken on the floor of his temporary home.

Charles is a character that grows plenty in his time in Korea, showed throughout the series in bits and pieces. I really cherish this character, Boston prick though he is, and I hope this helps you to do the same. Thank you to @discocaptain for arranging this little Masholes Meta and I had such a fun time picking apart my little blorbo.

[mesetacadre]

The birth of Lenin 155 years ago reminds the best of our class, the reddest flowers, that, more than anything, there is a science that has embroidered a thread throughout history, linking our collective beating hearts and minds through the "admirable combination of sober scientific analysis of objective conditions and the objective process of evolution with the most emphatic recognition of the importance of the revolutionary energy, the revolutionary creative power and the revolutionary initiative of the masses, as well as, of course, of individuals, groups, organisations and parties that are able to establish contact with the masses" that is Marxism-Leninism.

Every year that passes it becomes more and more important to remember Lenin and every long gone revolutionary with a cautious lense, at least outwardly. The longevity of his achievements has lended his personality an inmortality of sorts, one that is vulnerable to indulge in a simplistic lens. We don't stand on the shoulders of giants, we stand at the forefront of more than two millenia worth of class struggle and economic development, which has sporadically brought certain personalities to the forefront of their moments. There could not have been a Lenin 50 years before his time, just like there could not have been a Marx 50 years prior. It is the course of class struggle that shapes our consciousness, and afterwards it's those conditioned consciousness that shape history.

Not to say we should throw Lenin to the wayside and light altars to the neverending march of economic history instead. But rather, admire Lenin as one of the people most aware of his own place in the state of the class struggle in his time, like Marx and Engels in their own time. I think this is what's most admirable about Lenin. He lived through three revolutions, one of which failed and another that triumphed for another class. But the incredible long time spans in an individual's perception did not deter Lenin and the party he lead, because eventually, "the fact remains that for the first time in hundreds and thousands of years the promise “to reply” to war between the slave-owners by a revolution of the slaves directed against all the slave-owners has been completely fulfilled—and is being fulfilled despite all difficulties" And this victory was enabled by the scientific understanding of the class struggle and its articulation towards the victory of the working class over all forms of exploitation, by solving the theory-practice schasm that had plagued the worker's movement since the very beginning.

I think this is what's most important to remember this 22nd of April. I see it every so often in my daily application of my continuous education in revolutionary marxism, an understandable dissolutionment with how stagnant our efforts seem to be. But every time I take a step back, even in the order of a few years, clear progress is being made. One day all our small quantitative changes will result in a qualitative change that will be comparable to the strike the bolsheviks delivered to capitalism all those years ago, and never without passing through our own 1905s, splits, repression, and more. Even if Marx and Engels seemed to underestimate the longevity of the bourgeoisie's reign, their undertakers still wait at the other side of the door.

Which is why I find value in remembering and celebrating people like Lenin. They were living proof of the future that awaits our class, once it finally manages to negate itself and do away with class society altogether. I see Lenin's shadow in every meeting, every analysis, every criticism and every commemoration. "Constructive generations think of the past as an origin, as a cause. They never think of it as a programme"

[nneiljostenn]

i need to talk to you guys about the colors of the Cattons (Felix specifically) and Oliver. the clothes they are wearing are telling the story of Oliver taking over and leaving his mark throughout the whole movie, with Oliver's failures and successes and a final triumph. holy shit. get in. this is long and ends in ancient greek culture trivia. let;s talk please.

disclaimer: am starting from Oliver's arrival at Saltburn. before that the outfits are also very intentional, but it's a lot more complicated and it has been discussed before. the world distorts once we are at Saltburn and the story gets truly gothic there, and every detail—including color!—is enhanced in meaning. also, special thanks to @kivlaro for doing this with me, the thoughts on this specifically and the Saltburn craze on the whole. pics and detailed analysis under the cut!

let's start from the beginning. here is Oliver at the door. simple, blue shirt.

the shirt is sort of its own character. logically it makes sense as Oliver's suitcase is small and he spends the whole summer there, of course he'll rewear stuff a bunch. but it is blue.

in contrast to Felix, in yellow. yellow is one of Felix's colors (he is the sun, which i've talked about here btw, so this makes sense).

same to Pamela, in blue. first time we see her, she is next to Elspeth, wearing the color that is Oliver's, taking the place that he takes right away, in this very scene. the only other time she is physically present on screen is at dinner, in black and white, and black and white are a blank slate. she is stripped of color and gone very fast.

a bit of crucial data for later: Oliver, in blue, and Felix in pink. pink is very important on Felix. this is their first morning together. they are separate and opposite, solid, contained.

where it starts to get good is the morning after the vampire strike.

Venetia is a Felix extension, just as everyone in the house is to Oliver. i will eventually rant about Saltburn as a whole entity and Cattons as aspects of one self, and Oliver as psychosis, but not here. so, yes, Venetia is a pink riot, a euphoria of self-containment because Oliver gave her a piece of something she felt she lacked to feel whole (validation, attention, care), not a piece of blue, of himself. Oliver is expectedly solid blue. Felix is incredibly interesting and something i didn't pay much attention to at first: predominantly blue, incredibly upset at Oliver for ditching him, with a tile of bright red (on the left! close to heart! over-reaching here but like still!), which still tracks. i mean, really, if i had so much foreign color bleed into me and then abandoned, i'd be pissed, too. nice little touch is sir James' beloved hydrangeas, behind Felix, also pink, very pink, always pink; i don't think i've seen them blue in the movie, although the sort exists.

Farleigh. sweet baby Farleigh i love you. I'm not dead-set on my interpretation of this specifically but i think multiple things are happening with Oliver and Farleigh here. like Rent, which is their song, blue is their color of outsiders and the triers to fit in. Farleigh points out the favoritism and preference of Oliver to him and his mother here, so it may also be appropriation of color to draw attention to Farleigh as almost (but never quite) Oliver. it may also be as simple as that Farleigh, as much as he denies and resists, still retains Oliver's influence, which bleeds into him very slowly.

a nice little moment of Felix wearing blue swim shorts with just tiny specks of a pink pattern. Oliver's shorts also have a bit of pink, but less than Felix's. Oliver is pretty good at remaining unaffected and uninfluenced overall.

and we're getting to where it all clicked and started for me. the Quick family house, the failed reconciliation, and the immediate aftermath. oh it's so good.

on the drive there, Oliver is blue, Felix has a pink polo shirt with a solid blue pullover over it. this is the most blue Felix has ever been (this is the most blue he will ever be!), this is trust. however shaky and toxic it is, Felix loves Oliver and accepts him into his world. as a side note, Oliver's parents are also very blue, mom more so than dad. nice!

and then it crashes. immediately after, it's the evening of the same day, but Felix is not wearing the blue pullover anymore. this is very, very important. this is rejection. it's the end for Oliver in Felix's world and with his trust. Felix, again, in solid pink, Oliver in solid blue. Felix successfully rips him out with the roots and everything. ouch.

daddy. sorry. is that highlighter? sweat? fuck. let me- daddy. SORRY

no i actually have a point about this.

the clothes are replaced by the lights, but we roll with it. Oliver basks in the blue-green light, while Felix is on the other side, in pink and purple and red. sure, blue shines through, and Oliver also walks through the slashes of pink, but it is mostly pretty separate, Oliver watching Felix's pink in his own blue from a distance.

the morning after palette is deep. the wine color that is so prominent in these scenes is fascinating to me. if i were to over-reach again i'd say it's the Oliver in Felix's attributes and in his place that requires the robe to be so dark, not usual definite pink, because deep blue has leaked into the color itself, mixed with it, made itself integral to the shade. but it's also just a nice color, and it is pink in its core. the flowers (with sir James in the background) i think are also this specific shade for the same reason. you look at what remains of Felix everywhere here, and it is his color.

and finally oh the lunch scene. the last supper. the judgement day. the who's afraid of virginia woolf madness.

i think we've established what's up with Oliver, but i also think it's important that he is his own color at lunch but in Felix's pink/wine right before and after. lunch is where he attacks, whereas before and after is where he grieves and enjoys. Farleigh is almost completely blue save for a strip of the same deep pink, and he is soon cast out, and Venetia is striped, blue and pink/salmon, affected deeply by Oliver yet still clinging on to the Catton pink with grief, probably, but also love for Felix.

and after all this, Oliver leaves himself.

no, like, actually, literally himself. sure, he'd got a taste of the Cattons and the pink, but he is a monolith, a solid blue when he leaves Saltburn. he has not been affected by the house, he has taken what he wanted but stayed true and whole. what a power move, honestly.

but it's an even bigger deal that 16 years later, Elspeth runs into Oliver wearing all white and a blue scarf. oh, she's not let this go, alright; it was a long time ago, "but not to me," she says. What Oliver has been up to in that time is a great question, without a doubt he's been keeping tabs on the remaining family as much as he could; but Elspeth has never moved on, either. She has held on to Oliver's blue and the pink is not important at all now. Oliver, of course, is invariably, unwaveringly blue. welcome back to his show.

and welcome back to his triumph.

the only color (except for, again, white and black) we see him wear in the flashback about Saltburn inheritance is the all-too familiar deep pink. wine. bright pink mixed with deep blue.

now i will take a liberty and step back, over-reach, over-interpret and go insane. here's a fun bit on ancient greek culture trivia for you.

this is an interesting and complicated historiographical and linguistic debate that i will not even attempt to relay here, but the essence of it is this: for us, the sea is conventionally deep blue. historically, one of the most prominent civilizations considered "deep wine" to be the descriptor for it (not necessarily the color but the property. highly rec to look this up it's so fascinating). what it gives me here is that Oliver has changed color, but not his self. he has integrated, mixed, but persisted, completely winning over, triumphing. long live the king!

in conclusion, i would just like to propose "colors" by halsey as the next cattonquick anthem. thank you for your attention, please let me know your thoughts. yours, yes, you. cheers. god. peace out

[cerebralisis]

I decided to make my analysis of So High School into a separate post, because I can’t help but think of this song every time I see photos of Taylor at the games. And sure, it sounds like a love song on the surface until you remember that Taylor was bullied in high school and start to dig a little deeper. Feeling "so high school" is not something a 34 year old woman wants to feel.

Let’s look at the lyrics.

"I'm sinking, our fingers entwined, cheeks pink in the twinkling lights" = To me this sounds like drowning, embarrassment, and diving in with the sharks

"Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me" = You mean her first Chiefs appearance when they 'slid off in the getaway car' at the end? Nothing good starts in a getaway car, babes.

"I'll drink what you think and I'm high from smoking your jokes all damn night" = I mean...

“I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night" = What do we know about this movie? We know that it is renowned for its high school immaturity and misogyny. It’s about a bunch of horny boneheaded men who treat women like sex objects instead of people. Sounds a lot like football culture to me.

"Your friends are around so be quiet. I'm trying to stifle my sighs." = I'm in the box with your friends and family. I need to hold it together so I don't offend them, but I legit hate this.

"Cause I feel so high school" = SHE HATES THIS.

"Bittersweet 16 suddenly" = I don't think she was a fan of high school, you guys.

"Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me? It's just a game but really, I'm betting on all 3." = A clear reference to that kiss/marry/kill interview with Travis, while also saying "we're gonna get together, put on a show for everyone, and I'm going to slowly die inside until we're done."

"Get my car door, isn't that sweet. Now pull me to the backseat" = All I hear with this is Movie Director Taylor giving instructions to her leading man so they can get a good reaction from the audience.

"You know how to ball, I know Aristotle." = You're a jock. I'm a nerd. We are not compatible.

"Touch me while your bros play grand theft auto." = The official song lyrics on Spotify put grand theft auto in lowercase the first time and capitalized the second time. The capitalized GTA could refer to Travis's friends playing the video game, sure. But also - you know who was arrested in August 2023 for grand theft auto? Bashaud Breeland, a cornerback for the Kansas City Chiefs who played with Travis in the 2020 Super Bowl.

"It's true, swear, Scout's Honor" = Look it up, I dare you.

And my absolute favorite:

"On the brink of a wrinkle in time" = This is TTPD, folks. Of course there's going to be a literary reference. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle. The main character is a girl named Meg who is incredibly bright but struggles in school because she doesn't fit in with the other kids. After meeting a trio of badass witchy women, Meg travels to far-off worlds (a sort of deep portal time travel, you might say) where she joins the battle of light vs. darkness. What do we know about Taylor’s usage of light and darkness throughout her discography? It's giving… Reputation vs. Daylight? Shrouded in secrecy vs. out in the open? Based on everything else that Taylor has been hinting at through TTPD (not to mention Evermore and Midnights), it sounds like she is on the verge of diving into a much larger battle. And if I had to guess, I would bet that this battle will start during the Reputation re-release. Around Halloween. 🎃 When exile ends. Almost exactly 2 years after the Bejeweled music video was released. Maybe the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now cause she's dead?

I'm just speculating, but I will add that the 3rd book in the Time series is called A Swiftly Tilting Planet. There is a poem referenced through the book that goes like this:

With Ananda in this fateful hour, I place all Heaven with its power, And the sun with its brightness, And the snow with its whiteness, And the fire with all the strength it hath, And the lightning with its rapid wrath, And the winds with their swiftness along its path, And the sea with its deepness, And the rocks with their steepness, And the Earth with its starkness, All these I place with God's almighty help and grace between myself and the powers of darkness.

The word ‘Ananda’ mentioned above is the name of a character in the book, which is significant to the story because it’s a Sanskrit word that describes the eternal bliss that accompanies the ending of the rebirth cycle. If this series is what Taylor is referencing then it’s sounding more and more like she’s going to kill off Taylor TM and be done with the games, done with the reinvention. The plot summary of A Swiftly Tilting Planet says that it’s a book about "going back in time and changing might-have-beens." What decisions would she have made differently if she could do it all over again?

I don't know, friends. Take from this what you will. All I know is, this woman and all her brilliant duality is going to send me to a padded room. ✌🏻

[jealousmartini]

how other quirks and even other side effects of quirks help balance or cancel the side effects of my magnetism out.

Everyone shut up. I'm gonna info dump more quirk facts about my magnetism in bitesizes chunks because I'm making a full documentation and analysis of my quirk but it's literally nowhere near done and I need to get this out there

Cool down

So when I have overdone my quirk usage, my body immediately goes into something called a cool down. This is when the temperature of my body simmers down to a significantly cooler temperature. Because my body operates like a magnet, which means I also operate as a battery and a charger at the same time, so the constant use of power makes my body heaten up. Here's how it works. (Ignore the sudden use of third person)

The science behind it

Marcelynn's entire body works like a magnet, but the outlines of pads on the tips of her fingers like Uraraka as well as a bigger one on the palms of her hands are her main areas of output.

Rubbing her hands together (which is what she does when she wants to create more power) creates static friction ->

which makes heat ->

which is then converted into energy and the more friction she uses, the more it amplifies what energy is stored in her body ->

and then boosts power.

Doing this too much can make my quirk go into overdrive, which means the amount of static friction and energy I have stored into my body is too much for me to physically contain. Signs that show quirk over-use are heavy headaches and heavy limbs, sudden hiccups, twitching, and achey joints. As well as low iron deficiency symptoms such as dizziness, energy loss and fainting.

And a separate sign, overheating.

So when I am taking a break, my body realises this, and my temperature slowly drops to adjust to a cooler temperature that's usually colder than the environment around me. This happens because my body is trying to release all excess energy and static I've stored that my body cannot contain, which shows through the loss of heat.

The chilly issue

Of course, now, this isn't always the best thing for me depending on the environment and the weather I'm in. Going into cool down in already cold environments will make me chilly and cold. This is because her body is trying to refrain her from overheating too much, by comparing the temperature of the environment around me to mine and drops it lower than the environment.

Problem solving

But its okay! There's a solution to this. Anything or person that comes in contact with her that has a higher temperature than her will automatically have their body heat altered and shared with hers to raise her temperature to a comfortable warmth but it lowers theirs in the process too.

To maintain warmth — The solutions

-> Hotot showers and baths

-> Hot packs

-> Heat related quirks

Because both Bakugo and Todoroki have heat related quirks, they both happen to be incredibly complimentary to my cool down and overheating.

The way their quirks would come of aid to me is by being in some sort of physical contact with me. It doesn't have to be much. Even leaning into each other is enough to share and convert coolness and heat to and with each other. But when physical touch comes to you like second nature because of a certain someone's magnetic influence, it seems like instinct and comfort has other plans.

BAKUGO'S [UNINTENTIONALLY] CHOSEN METHODS OF (HEAT) RELIEF? 💭

-> Lying on top of me for maximum efficiency

⤷⌗ — He only does this when he reallllyyy needs to. Like after a long, hard day of training. Sweaty bastard collapsing into me like a dead weight.

-> Sitting close to me, arms interlocked for extra closeness

-> Dropping his head into the crook of my neck because I'm his ice pack

-> Visiting my room after any minor inconvenience

⤷⌗ — By any minor inconvenience, I mean almost all the time.

"Does anyone have any ibuprofen? My head hurts" — The solution

Even Uraraka's anti gravity counters my quirk's heavy headaches, heavy limbs, and dizziness side effects. When Uraraka over uses her quirk, she gets light-headed and queasy, which is actually really funny because of the way her side effects exactly oppose mine, that it takes combining each other's quirks by holding onto the other's hand to cancel out each other's side effects. But thing is, Uraraka has a stronger sense of affection for me since we're close. So..

OCHAKO'S CHOSEN METHODS OF RELIEF?💭

-> Forehead kisses

⤷⌗ — Platonical. Literally a short cutesy "mmwah!" on my head is enough to making me feel light headed

-> Holding hands as a means of syncing quirks

-> Playing w/ each others hair, massaging each others brains

-> Lying on top of each other, or cuddling as a means of grounding

Low on battery? — The solution

Remember when I mentioned energy loss, and fainting in my list of side effects? Well there, too, is a solution for these inconveniences. But first? Check this out… ⌵

Magnetic Influence

Is the name of the literal subconscious "push" or "pull" that people have depending on how strong or weak their magnetic fields sync to my field is and vice versa.

Everybody has a natural magnetic field, but the source of the influence always comes from me the strongest because, well, I'm a magnet. It is that all other magnetic fields react to mine on different levels, negatively or positively depending on how compatible we are and how well we compliment each other. This will determine how attractive I find the other person and if I'm even attracted to them at all (vice versa).

The positivity and how strong my magnetic influence is on someone is usually determined by our dynamics. Compatibility can look like anything mind you, especially positive compatibility which doesn't have to take the form of the conventional idea of what it looks like to be harmonious.

And our dynamics can cover literally anything too like our personality types, quirks, drive, energy (basically our freak), our interests, our pros and cons, our strengths and weaknesses, our specialities and even physical features.

That's why I seem to have high interest in a collective of people -> Uraraka, Bakugo, Deku, Mina, Kirishima and Denki (Not in that order plus Sero is an honorable mention), which ties into the nature of my quirk, pulling towards compatible fields which amplifies and boosts things like my mood, my social battery and my energy in general. Think of it like dopamine seeking in a way, being around each other is incredibly beneficial to both me and the person I am super attracted to because it amplifies their energy just like mine.

❜❛ But, what does it mean when the opposite happens? ❜❛

Are you really tired, or are you just comfortable with me? — The illusion of exhaustion

See It's usually those who you feel the most comfortable with who you seek refuge in and gravitate towards when you're at your lowest, rinsed of all physical and mental strength. Because you know, subconsciously, their presence alone will make you feel better again. And it's also those people whose presence that is so comforting and familiar, it confuses the brain into thinking it's time for bed.

This is the illusion of exhaustion. When you are so used to returning back to orbit the person you've come to associate with the feelings of and comfort so strong that your brain can't tell the difference between that person and home, that it physically makes you relaxed and at ease.

Marcelynn's main sources of recharge being Uraraka, Bakugo, Deku, Mina, Denki and Kirishima (which will be elborated on in the future.) That being said...

MARCELYNN'S METHODS OF RECHARGE?💭

Being within close proximity

-> Parallel play (which is doing something in the same space as someone else but not directly interacting w/ each other)

⤷⌗ — I value my alone time. But when I'm feeling lonely, I love to spend time with my friends whenever I can. I think quality time might be one of my love languages.

⤷⌗ — Home work dates and studying sessions are a really good example.

-> Sitting next to/inbetween her favourite individuals

-> Mainly hanging out w/ "them"

-> Wordless facetime calls

⤷⌗ — Happens a lot w/ Bakugo. He'll call me whilst we're all at our own houses for the break, and we might yap for a bit but it will mostly be quiet on both our ends of the line. He just likes having me around and will find a way to spend time when he can if we can't be in person

Physical touch (reciprocating and receiving)

-> Falling asleep with or against the other

⤷⌗ — Happens whenever Uraraka, Bakugo or Kirishima crash at my room way more often than I'd like to admit... or even when I crash at THEIRS.

-> Linking arms and holding hands

⤷⌗ — Uraraka and Mina are my absolute go-tos for hand holding. Our hands just immediately intertwine with each other the moment we're close. We are like this🤞🏾

⤷⌗ — I mainly link arms w/ Bakugo because he's self-conscious about his sweat even though idgaf .. 💬

-> Leaning against another

⤷⌗ — I do this with everyone in that list. It's like my Y-axis is permanently off balance because of those lot.

⤷⌗ — Midoriya, Uraraka, Mina and even Todoroki leaning into me. While Kirishima immediately relaxes back and adjusts himself to make us both comfortable but Bakugo is lowkey kinda stiff as a stick before he does the same.

-> Hugging / cuddling

⤷⌗ — I say cuddling but most of the time it's just Bakugo barging into my room and tackling me to the bed. Well it's that or I'm sat next to him and he very cooly slings his arm over my shoulders. He totally didn't start doing that because Kirishima did..

-> Having her hair played with

-> Head pats

Conclusions?

Marcelynn's dynamics will be thoroughly explained. Uhm.. yeah, some of them go crazy so get ready for that.

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ⓘ all rights reserved type shit. No copyrighting or whatever you know the drill.

Mootie tags if yall gaf: @intimidaid @starry-com @angelic-daiquiri @coquettebratzdoll @bendys-wife @hrrtshape @theshifterbride @deepinthegroves

[chaoortu]

siri play "it ain't me babe", the joan baez cover bc it's time for an 8-23 analysis.

Okay, first of all, had to compare these two panels

second panel is from 8-18 btw so in like... five chapters, nick goes from seeking comfort from charlie to sort of keeping his back to him in 8-23. Side note: the way Charlie tries to seek comfort in Nick and i wonder how it feels from his pov that Nick WILL not tell him what is wrong or even face him in this moment of incredible vulnerability. Granted-- Nick probably had puke breath so I get it on that level but goddd. now, had to get that out of the way for THIS PANEL

I LOVE KNOWING WE HAVE TOMORROW IS SO FUCKING... SWEET, but Charlie's wide eyed face-- having the knowledge that Nick's had a nightmare about Charlie dying makes that line so much more powerful imo bc... how long have they had tomorrow? Again, I am still of the firm belief that Charlie's hospitalization has had this domino effect on Nick where he has to be the strong one, the good one, the stable one-- like, Daddy issues and fear of abandonment as well of course, but I don't think they've ever really talked about the impact of Charlie's stay at the clinic beyond "I'm so glad you've gotten better." Why are you bringing this up, Chao? Bc I think its an important conversation to have on how the supportive people around someone going through a mental health event often get sidelined or do not receive mental health services themselves even though that experience is traumatic for everyone involved. Nick was sixteen trying to tell his bf he thinks he has an ED-- that's hard!!! He was a whole baby! and that specific situation happens often irl. Anyway the reason why I bring it up-- Nick's apology pancakes. 1) I think are a symbol of Nick's need to be a fixer. He was a mess, but he can do this nice thing in an attempt to make up for it. It's so obvious Nick is a bit angry at himself for being that vulnerable in front of Charlie. 2) my theory is that bc Charlie's going through a blip with his anorexia, he may reject the pancakes and Nick is going to take that as a rejection of his apology and this may finally kickstart them talking? Maybe. I'm also pro catharsis vomit. I think Nick should bust up in that bathroom and hurl while Charlie is showering as it would parallel their first I Love You. I want Charlie to talk Nick out of going to the match Desperately or... Rule of improv, escalate: I think Nick should either get sooo sick at rugby or pass out as it would parallels the fainting scene at the louvre, or we should full send it and have him get injured so that he literally HAS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF AND VULNERABLE. will alice take it there? eh idk probably not, but the fact that nick's never seemed to get a rugby injury has always had me on the edge of my seat. nothing crazy like an acl tear but like... a quick bonk on the noggin. although i wonder with him feeling poorly if it's a possible recipe for a panic attack if things with Charlie seem to go bad. And my last note, this panel:

yes nick is sickly and probably just not feeling great from drinking, but the dichotomy of nick being clothed from wrist to ankle while charlie is in a t-shirt and his BOXERS (and comfortable wearing that in front of sarah oh i love them <3) just, the way he is trying to hide himself and his hurts. i do wish more than anything that charlie would've pushed him harder here, just a bit bc i feel like it's been a while of nick saying "i'm fine" and charlie retreating i do fear nick is going to combust or something. and lowkey, i am kind of wondering if alice might flip the whole nick breaking up with charlie briefly thing that happens in the novela and have it go the opposite way around bc with nick struggling the way he is and faking it till he makes it, i can't even think of him considering that.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Come My Way - Silver

Author Notes: So, this was certainly a thing. I started writing this after the Diasomnia chapter while listening to AmaLee's cover of "Come this Way" from the Inuyasha anime and it kind of spiraled from there. I decided I'd play with the entire red string of fate thing despite it being rather heavy-handed in terms of romance since Prefect and Silver have some interesting ties within the storyline which I have considered writing an analysis of for my analysis blog. (plus I do find the red string of fate to be quite romantic at times and it was a nice tie in for all the other Inuyasha stuff) I came back and edited this fic to the original version of the song "Come" that is seventh ending theme of Inuyasha. All in all, the fic ended up long, but I still found it intriguing enough to post since I didn't have a fic in particular planned for this week. As per usual, reader is gender neutral. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Gender neutral reader /sfw /fluff /some drama /romance /spoilers for Diasomnia chapter

Word count: 2584

Fated love was something that seemed to only occur in fairytales. An amusing thought for someone from the country of the fae to have. But to Silver, the idea of meeting someone he was fated to be with despite the many obstacles life could hold was beautiful, but also rather improbable.

Especially when he considered his narcolepsy.

It was almost like a fond dream, perfect and wonderful, until he awoke and the dream was shattered.

And yet, when he first saw you, Silver felt a glimmer of something akin to recognition. 

But he knew, for a fact, that he had never met you. There was no way he could have since you were from an entirely other world that was supposedly devoid of magic.

So Silver had initially shrugged that strange sensation of familiarity off. Deciding that you probably just had one of those faces that looked incredibly similar to someone else’s. 

But he’d still wanted to get to know you. Out of curiosity, if nothing else.

The mere idea of even meeting you soon seemed to be perfectly impossible, though. Because it was like the world itself was endeavoring to keep the two of you apart. 

And maybe it was. You weren’t from this world, and, if Silver thought logically about it, perhaps it was best if he didn’t talk to you. 

Maybe he didn’t need to let whatever this pull was that seemed to draw him inevitably towards you have its way. After all, if he were already so intrigued by you without talking to you, then he didn’t see how it could get any better once he did get to know you.

And then, if you did as you no doubt wished and went home, he would be left alone.

Alone and empty, he feared, if the sensation that he was close to meeting someone beyond important to him that swelled within him every time he saw you was anything to go by.

Initially, he’d kept his thoughts to himself. Better that way, since he didn’t want to bother anyone else with the strange, foreign feelings. But when he started seeing you in his dreams, always distant but ever present and seemingly unreachable. That was when it had gone on long enough.

Lilia had smiled at him amusedly when he’d explained the strange sensation that he knew you despite having never met you and the urges he felt to speak to you. To get to know you.

It was as if the ancient fae had already known, and he even nodded like he was completely unsurprised as he’d spoken. His tone oddly pleased, “I had wondered if this would happen. They do remind me of you, after all.”

Silver had felt his eyes widen at his father’s words before he shook his head in confusion, “How are they like me?”

Lilia had laughed aloud at his son’s words, rubbing Silver’s head like he was still a small child as his eyes gleamed with amused fondness, “Why, you’re both diligent, reserved, good children. Humans who don’t judge others by their race and who are capable of forgiving even the greatest of evils. You both serve as a sort of light within the darkness to the hearts of those you touch.”

Silver had felt himself smile, shaking his head at his father’s words but knowing better than to deny what he’d said. Lilia had always doted on his son, and even if Silver didn’t agree with the image he painted, Lilia wouldn’t accept his refusal.

Lilia had sat down next to Silver on the bed, his eyes narrowing with amusement, “Let me tell you a story from another land far, far away.”

Silver had focused on his father’s words, frowning slightly in determination to remain focused without falling asleep.

“In the same land that holds the great Loong dragons, there is a story of a red string.” Lilia had spoken in a soft voice, the one that always lulled Silver to sleep but also held the greatest of secrets.

“No one knows what spinning wheel weaves this string; perhaps it is the wheel of life itself. But legend has it that this thin strand of red ties you to your fated one.”

Silver had nodded, not surprised by the contents of the legend. It was much like other stories that revolved around fate, but he tilted his head nonetheless, “A single string seems an odd choice for a tie that binds.”

Lilia had nodded, giggling slightly before he continued, “It is, isn’t it? But that fragility hides incredible strength. Just like how love can seem fragile, but can weather even the greatest of storms, this single thread of red string is strong. No matter the distance, time, or circumstance, it will remain strong.”

He’d blinked, his pink eyes gleaming in the darkness like some sort of omen. A subtle reminder that there was more to Silver’s father than met the eye as he finished, his voice dropping and having caused Silver to still ever-so-slightly, “Perhaps it could even stretch across worlds, should fate will it.”

With only those words, it became beyond clear what Lilia had met when he’d started his tale and how it connected to Silver’s trouble with you. Silver had shook his head slightly, smiling softly, as he’d realized what Lilia was doing. It hadn’t the first time his father had teased him about romance.

“Father, I don’t think a thread of legend is what is causing me to be fascinated by Y/n,” At Silver’s words, Lilia had nodded. Smiling to himself, like he knew a secret that no one else knew anything about.

Lilia’s hands had found Silver’s, and the ancient fae had looked down at his son’s hands, calloused from the use of the sword, as his own rough thumb had slipped over his son’s pinkie finger, the smile on his face spreading, “Perhaps not… Perhaps not.”

The days wore on, and Silver had thought very little of the discussion he’d had with his father, even as you remained an ever-present thought in his mind.

And then he’d finally interacted with you. 

It had seemed more like an accident than anything. A small blip in the plans of the world as time itself had seemed to slow around the two of you, and you blinked at him in quiet surprise before you smiled.

It had been a very brief interaction, with you almost bumping into him in a doorway as he’d started to enter a classroom. You’d backtracked quickly, laughing slightly as you apologized and moved out of his way even as he’d assured that there was no problem and that he should have been paying better attention to where he was going.

And after that, Silver had found himself bumping into you more and more. Spending time with you between classes. Waking up to find you sitting next to him, like you were protecting him. Before long, he was even walking you back to your dorm.

“Silver, it seems you’ve befriended the Child of Man. You’ve been spending quite a bit of time with them,” Malleus’s smile had been beyond smug as he greeted Silver one day when Silver had only just gotten back from walking you to Ramshackle dorm.

Silver had blinked at the prince’s words, half-startled, before he nodded, “Yes, Y/n and I have been helping each other with classes.”

It was strange, in many ways, to use an evasive remark when Silver had known he hadn’t been doing anything wrong, but something about the way Lilia had smiled at him from around Malleus. His large eyes, narrowing with amusement as he looked at his son, that had Silver faltering.

“They are quite charming, aren’t they? It seems they have won over most of the school by now,” Malleus’s fingers had brushed across his lips as if he were trying to hide the amused grin that stretched across his face.

But his words were true. Silver seemed to have been the last one to reach where you were, and now that he’d been standing next to you, he’d noticed something.

You worried about and for those around you. A little bit too much, in fact. 

Silver suspected that was why you’d wound up in so many situations, to the point where you were something of a celebrity within the school. One that was either hated or loved depending on who you spoke to.

But you went out of your way to help those around you and did your best to keep up with your peers, even though there was no way you could truly succeed in the magic-related classes.

It was like you were running from something and using everything to distract yourself from whatever that thing was.

And perhaps that was why Silver hadn’t been surprised when he’d found you asleep on your couch, where you’d passed out before he’d shown up to study with you.

The fact you had been asleep wasn’t odd; you’d been falling asleep during the day more and had mentioned not sleeping well at night before. What had been concerning, though, were the marks of dried tears on your face that had caused Silver to frown as he’d knelt down beside you.

Because that was what he had been worried about even then. That you weren’t letting yourself rely on others and were instead pushing yourself to support everyone else and avoiding your own problems.

For someone who’d been magically transported to a world that wasn’t your own, you seldom mentioned your home and took a surprising amount in stride.

He’d remembered how you’d looked when Leona had overblotted. Grimly determined and afraid. But Silver had suspected that fear had been less in regard to your own potential injury and more for Leona himself.

He hadn’t said anything, though. Silver knew when someone didn’t want to talk about something. But he also knew that if you ever needed him, he would be here. Right by your side and waiting.

You hadn’t come to him with your troubles, though. Instead, you’d bore them in silence all the way up until shortly before Silver’s entire world changed.

That day, you’d been different.

“Y/n, what is it?” You jolted from your fidgeting motions, as if Silver’s soft voice had startled you, and you’d looked at him with wide, almost fearful eyes that had caused him to frown.

You’d relaxed, though, something that he’d wondered about even then. Was it a natural reaction or forced?

“I… I just feel like something’s going to happen,” Silver had tilted his head at your words, so unlike how usually laid-back you were.

“How so?” You’d met his gaze as he spoke and kept his voice soft and carefully controlled as he’d leaned forward and towards you.

“Do you believe that dreams can sometimes predict things?” Silver had felt his eyebrows raise at your words, and at first he’d honestly thought you were teasing him. But a single glance at your expression, worry-filled as it was, had told him everything.

“Fa- Lilia has spoken of prophetic dreams and people who can see things before; why?” You’d nodded at his words, looking away as if you were deep in thought.

And after a brief moment, you’d looked back toward him. A forced smile sweeping across your face that was nowhere near as natural as the one you usually wore. 

Your hand had found his, surprising him slightly as a tingle had seemed to shoot through him at your mere touch as you’d spoken, your smile softening as you’d seemed to reassure yourself, “I just hope everything stays like this.”

Your words had lingered in his mind, playing on repeat like an omen, until the day had come when Lilia told him he was leaving.

That was when everything had shattered, and suddenly, somewhere in the back of his mind, Silver had wondered: Was this what you’d been worried about?

He hadn’t gotten a chance to ask or even see you until after everything had happened.

Lilia’s farewell party had come; Silver had confessed everything about his feelings and frustrations to Malleus, and then Malleus had overblotted.

Silver knew he was lucky, though. Lucky that, in some small way, you’d warned him. And lucky that the very moment he’d fallen asleep, he’d known something was amiss.

It had been subtle, but in the midst of the slightly off, too-perfect world that was his dream, he’d felt it. A gentle tugging at his pinkie finger, like a thread was wrapped around it, was being pulled.

The sensation sent a jolt through him, and Silver turned, his eyes widening as he caught sight of a bird trailing a strange rainbow light. And then he knew what was wrong with everything that surrounded him.

Where were you? 

If this were a perfect world, you’d be here. And the fact you were missing was why he’d felt so empty. Because you were nowhere to be seen. Almost like you’d never existed.

Light seemed to flash around him, like stars guiding him forth as he ran forward, chasing that rainbow bird and following that invisible thread that seemed to pull him onwards.

It was a sensation he recognized and was familiar with. He knew who lay at the end of this path, even if he didn’t fully understand what was going on.

Somehow, someway. You were calling him, even if you didn’t know it.

Silver had vowed very few things in his life. To defend Malleus, to care for his father, and to protect those dear to him. And finally there was the silent, unspoken oath that now pushed him forward from behind, as the promise of your presence pulled him onwards. The oath he’d made with himself to stay by your side.

It was a selfish oath that he’d made without entirely realizing it until now.

Instinctively, he closed his eyes as he burst forth through the edges of his dream and into the corridor of dreams that would lead him to you. And he saw something he’d never seen before. 

Something he now suspected his father had seen a long time ago, all those days ago when he’d first told him about that legend about fate and threads.

It was a thin red strand, so fragile-looking, but pulled taut as it connected him to something further down the invisible path before him. And he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, where that thread would lead him.

So he ran. Shouting your name even as he burst forth into a new dream. One filled with inky shadows as it crumbled to pieces around you.

“Y/N!!” At his shout, you looked up. Your eyes wide from where you stood in the center of the collapsing dream, clutching Grim to you.

“S-Silver!” You faltered, having to stop yourself from stepping towards him as you slowly ran out of space to stand in as Grim yowled something that came out garbled in his distress as Silver reached out to you.

“Hold on to me! Both of you,” There was no hesitation in your motions as you grabbed onto his hand, and he wrapped an arm around you as he pulled both you and Grim up against him. 

The words of his spell held new meaning as he spoke them with you at his side, “To the person I met someday, to the person I will meet one day….” He glanced down at you, now knowing that you were that fated person.

“Meet in a dream.”

[knight-says-nanana]

An analysis on Ed’s comic childhood, how that impacted his OCD*, and how that translated to the Gotham TV show

Alternatively: GTV Ed’s Biography

*(and also how it very clearly gave him cptsd but they don’t explicitly Say that bc DC is full of cowards)

Normally I’d say comics don’t impact tv continuity, especially for a show like Gotham where so many things are changed, but the thing is? Cory Michael Smith specifically went out of his way to read the riddler comics when he accepted the role of Ed Nygma. He acted accordingly and did an amazing job trying to salvage the show’s poor writing. There are many tiny moments where he does things that reference Ed’s typical backstory despite the show, in all its 5 seasons, never bringing it up

Childhood wise there are typically two widely accepted routes

1 - his mom was around but neglectful and off her head with drugs n alcohol

2 - his mom left when he was a toddler due to not being able to handle his father anymore, which kinda kickstarted the abuse being focused onto Ed instead

I will be continuing this analysis with #2 because it is the most popular and explains his abandonment issues

Comic Based Childhood

So this guy basically grew up with Only his father. His father who is a dumbass, an alcoholic, blames Ed for his mother leaving, incredibly abusive physically, and couldn’t accept that 1) his kid is smarter than him or that 2) a kid so Weird cough traumatized and neurodivergent cough is anything but an idiot

A major sticking point was that he always thought Ed was lying, constantly, about everything. This will be important later.

And when Ed finally started going to school and getting A’s?? Yeah no Obviously he had to have been cheating so Mr Nashton just got More angry with him. Could Ed have dropped his grades on purpose to avoid this? Yeah. Did he? Absolutely not. Academic success was the one thing he could be proud of and the only thing that gave him any sort of praise or validation. He was clinging to it for dear life.

No matter the universe, this is a guy who craves attention.

There is difference between academic success and school life itself, because Ed is awkward n dorky n, especially at this point in time, anxious n quiet. So he didn’t have friends. In fact it’s usually written as either him having been bullied or being ignored entirely

The boy was not doing ok at all. So understandably he ran away as soon as possible and changed his name.

Now, this is the first point where Gotham’s canon ties into this in a Very interesting way

We know Ed’s official birth year from the ID card in the show. It’s canon. In season one he is 26. We know this. And it’s is insane for a few reasons!!

He is So Much Younger than his coworkers holy shit

Bullock is old enough to be his dad and he’s not nice, no wonder Ed doesn’t like him

He works in forensics. At 26. And he’s implied to have been working there a year or two before Jim joined the precinct.

Now, I had GENUINELY assumed that he was in his 30s like Jim. BECAUSE HE WORKS IN FORENSICS. But no he’s just actually a botched Spencer Reid because he’s 26 in season one.

A degree in forensic science takes 4 years.

If you want a masters it’s an extra 2 years.

Factoring in the time he would’ve needed to spend interning and working just to QUALIFY for a job at the GCPD???

If we assume he ran away n got into college at age 17 and got his bachelor's he’d be 21 by the time he graduated, 23 if he got his masters which of course he would, and then that leaves us only 3 or 1 year/s for internships and stuff before he joins the GCPD. What. What.

No wonder his apartment is so shitty!!! This is a man with hella student loans

But yeah! Hes only 26 and his 40 year old coworkers are bulling him for being weird. I’d hate my job too.

Bullock is 48 and I’m fully convinced he, like me, thinks Ed is at least 32 (Jim’s age) because. What.

So yeah that’s his general backstory, NOW the ways that plays into his mental state and how his actor managed to fit it into the show

So, you can reasonably assume he’s traumatized.

And!? There are so many subtle moments in the show where Cory acts his character accordingly for this. He flinches when people raise their voice, he’s visibly spooked when men in the GCPD get huffy (usually it’s Mr James Anger Issues Gordon). He’s skittish as a mouse. In the watermelon scene, when Gordon busts into the room, Ed immediately falls over himself to explain what he’s doing in there. The guy was terrified. Of James. Who’s never done a thing to him.

Beyond that? CPTSD -beyond the regular symptoms of flashbacks, triggers, and hyper awareness- also includes difficulty regulating emotions, feelings of shame/guilt, and trouble staying in relationships.

Ed Nygma is a damn textbook case. He has meltdowns, he falls into substances, he does ANYTHING but cope when he’s overwhelmed. He is constantly trying to prove he’s smart, there’s a gut deep shame when he doesn’t hold up to genius standards. And you’ve seen his relationships.

Basic info ab OCD: it’s an anxiety disorder and the two main things are obsessive compulsions and intrusive thoughts, both of which are present in Gotham but not handled nearly as well as they are in the comics

Compulsions first!

These tend to stem from subconscious thoughts and people won’t always know Why they have a compulsion but they’re generally a way of preventing a vague yet all consuming Bad Thing.

Now, with Ed one of his major sticking points in comics AND the show is he cannot tell blatant lies, especially not with yes/no answers.

This is part of why he compulsively leaves clues for absolutely everything and tries to be so vague when he is lying. He also jumps through hoops so that he won’t need to lie.

Lying = incredible all consuming dread and anxiety, so he just Doesn’t and uses his little hints and clues as a loophole. Very obviously from his father’s influence.

In the show this is shown multiple times but just for a few:

Lucious asking if Jim is at Ed’s house and when Ed tries to say no he seems almost forced to correct himself

The compulsive clue in “Tom’s” note, even when no one had asked him if he knew anything he still couldn’t keep it entirely to himself. The note is a loophole. Technically he told on himself. They just didn’t figure it out. (Well. Kristen kinda did but denying it aka lying sent him into an anxiety attack the moment she left. So.)

When Sofia Falcone was torturing him to find out where Oswald was, he told her. He just told her via a riddler he knew she didn’t understand! No need to lie!

In the car ride to the docks Oswald also calls him out directly by saying he’s so predictable because he’s driven by obsessive compulsion. This is the most the show acknowledges it.

Beyond his compulsions he’s got explicit intrusive thoughts regarding a few big things. (Should be noted that these tend to drive compulsions but not always.)

being viewed as stupid

Ergo his criminal history just being a big show to prove how smart he is. Again, his fathers influence.

being actually stupid

Not knowing things stresses him out So Bad and he takes it So Personally. He NEEDS to know everything. The world is a puzzle and he is Going to solve it.

Side note: That’s why I do LOVE that Gotham made him a forensics specialist!! He’s always had, to quote a DC podcast where he’s talking to Batgirl “-and you have that terrible all consuming pathology which comples you to find answers” “AnD i HaVe tHaT tErRiBlE aLL cOnsUmiNG PaThOLoGy wHiCh coMpELs mE tO FiNd AnSwErS- Yes.”

Biggest for last: being like his dad

This one is specifically fun because it was almost represented so well. ALMOST. His entire relationship with Kristen was downright molded by it, as shown in the file room anxiety attack. Yes that’s what I’m going to call it.

He is constantly fretting over being like Tom, even when he clearly isn’t because he is disgusted by Tom. No mysoginist is going to see someone with the same thoughts as gross. No guy who thinks women should be “put in their place” is going to have such a physical reaction to hearing that be said. No abusive pos is going to have that reaction at all. At least, not in the way that situation went down or in the way Ed’s afraid of being. We aren’t discussing emotional harm or Nygmobblepot today. But he frets anyway. And if we chose to interpret his riddler hallucination as a Really poor way of representing intrusive thoughts? Yeah. Yeah. His brain is making him panic about doing exactly what he hates so much.

*it should be noted that compulsions are often reinforced by intrusive thoughts. specific example: if he lies he will be saying something wrong, he can not be wrong, everyone is going to think he’s an idiot if he’s wrong. You can see how the two things connect. This applies to the majority of compilations in some way.

Now, a moment where I deviate from discussing what Did happened because I’ll forever mourn this particular writing fuck up:

His thing with Kristen could’ve been perfect. It could’ve been the best live action riddler origin to date. Because this is a guy with OCD who’s very traumatized and would have a strong personal reaction to finding out a friend is facing domestic abuse. That would make his relationships complicated too because of the thought loop it would create off the risk of “turning out to be the type of person he hates” or “what if I hurt her like I was hurt.” That would have been so compelling? AND? AND YKNOW WHAT? MY BIGGEST GRIPE? HIS FIRST PUSH INTO VIOLENT CRIME BEING STABBING AN ABUSER WOULD BE PERFECT. It would be on point. Exceptional foray into crime and murder. BUT THEY DIDNT PLAY IT LIKE THAT. No instead it’s highly tainted by “who gets the girl” and I just. N o. Ugh. They fumbled it!! They fumbled it So Hard. THEY MAKE HIM CREEPY AS FUCK TOWARDS KRISTEN. Like- physically blocking her into small spaces and imposing on her and talking over her when, if they HAD actually leaned into the OCD on purpose, he would probably be hyper aware of not doing.

[ladyofthebookcase]

ok here's my review of the watcher so far! spoilers for both endings probably.

I LOVE IT. it has its flaws but it's literally impossible to make a bad rain world game + the inclusion of the original team on this one absolutely knocks it out of the park. i ADORE that we got more lore and elaborations on things from vanilla-- like, the signal spires iterators?!?! hello??? that's so sick. also, the threads of reality stuff is really really cool and i'll be rattling it around in my brain for a while i think. it's very cool that they gave us a sort-of explanation for the cycles, or at least a way to explain it ourselves. also, what tumblr user iteratorsex has been doing with color symbolism and analysis of the rot-- i agree with all of that and im rotating it in my brain at immense speeds.

i think gameplay is probably the least polished, but again, this is the first release, they gave it to us early, and considering that, i'm more than happy with what we have. future updates will hopefully polish it up and they seem to be actively collecting feedback on that and listening to the community about accessibility fixes, so i have really no complaints. common videocult W. my only real gripe with gameplay is that i fucking hate aether ridge and would really rather they'd done a badlands and just completely redone it but like eh. it's fine that they didn't ig. i also wish, conversely, that they'd kept old badlands-- the new one is fine, but it really seems like it could be something completely different. they could've added it as a subregion onto badlands 1 or sumn. but i digress. i love that they added modded regions at all: some of those are absolute BANGERS like coral caves and im glad they got the recognition they deserve!

the portaling mechanic is a bit janky right now as well, but again, i expect it'll be improved on in the future. knowing that you can just use existing portals and don't need to keep making your own ones is very nice actually and i'm just glad i figured that out at all-- i'm not upset that they don't tell you that ingame, i like having to figure stuff out on my own. yeah it was frustrating but that's rain world <3

in terms of the story. waow. they hit it out of the park. i love the watcher soooo much they're so AUUUUUGHHHHH. they have so much personality and lore to them and it's shown to us so well through cutscenes and just in general the choices the story forces you to make (i.e. infecting all the regions with rot is the path you have to take to get the ending, but from a story perspective, it's also what watcher decides to do in order to be friends with the prince. same thing with following oaoa around! i love how games will imply things about the player character through narrative options like this auuugh it's so good.) the watcher is my baby and i would like to care for them and cherish them. the lack of normal iterators is honestly refreshing-- i love those guys, but downpour gave us enough of them i think, and it's nice to explore other aspects of the lore like ancients, echoes, and the rot this time around. i especially love learning more about the ancients-- ancient urban is probably my favourite region of the entire game, and was even before i found the upper part with the ancients in it.

sorry im jumping between tangents like crazy but i want to cover all my bases here as i think of them. this campaign was HORRIFYING. like. the devs have really gotten good at making things scary and building a slow sense of increasing and terrible dread god damn. when i first entered the prince's room i was so freaked out by just the lack of anything in there besides the giant rot bulb and the singular karma flower, tiny in comparison. the presence of karma flowers at all in such a heavily rotted and decaying place as the throne is incredibly ominous and i love how they're able to make something that's normally so benign and welcome into something scary. when i first saw the prince move i immediately paused the game and tabbed out because i got so scared. this game is SO FUCKING GOOD AT BEING SCARY and i love it. even just when you're stuck in vanilla regions and the rot is slowly spreading and the lizards are starting to get infected, you get this slow and growing horror of "what the fuck is happening" that i feel is absent from both vanilla and downpour and it's amazing. exploring station annex for the first time, discovering the rotted vanilla regions, finding the throne... it's just so fucking good. i fear replays will never live up to the experience of going through it the first time but i'll really cherish that nonetheless.

also can we talk about the first ending. because that made me cry. finding oaoa in their childhood bedroom.... learning they were a child and seeing them move on... returning to their room to find their toys and getting to play with them and have the watcher reclaim some of their childhood joy... what a beautiful story GOOD LORD. and the art elevates it so much. the cutscenes are gorgeous but also can we talk about how much the background art has improved??? like god damn. the drills in outer rim look so insanely detailed and good like that really stood out to me. also their use of vibrant and bright colors in regions like signal spires and verdant waterways... AUGH. and the insane detail in ancient urban... the subtle colors there and the use of negative space... it's so damn good. i could go on for hours about the background art alone like vanilla rain world is already gorgeous and the watcher takes that to another level.

in conclusion. watcher is amazingly good and well crafted and you can clearly tell that so much love and care went into every part of this game. i haven't even talked about the creatures here GOD the creatures are so good. the creativity on display here. they got so weird with it and i love that soooo much. I <3 RAIN WORLD

[yukirayu]

hii! i am absolutely blown by your analysis of Taku and Madarame: To Heal and To Hurt, and it gave me alot more insight into how Taku is a great foil for other characters. i kept thinking about the CG artwork of Taku's painting. it seems like the vacancy of the center square might represent the removal of a webtag or even the eventual disappearance of Towa's past trauma which Taku tried so hard to suppress. do you have any thoughts on the painting as a whole?

Hi, I apologize for replying to this several months later. Sorting through my drafts/WIPs or the things I need to do in general got me rather distracted, to say the least, but I am committed to seeing this through.

Thanks so much of course for reading and liking the metas. I'm always glad to hear that others like it and that I've managed to get the message through.

Now as for my opinion, I will give the disclaimer that said opinion is greatly inspired by what this person said in their breakdown of the paintings, as well as an art I saw that did their own breakdown about what the red square represented.

If anything, I may as well be parroting what they said in the site, albeit with different wording; since as someone who has no experience in art, analyzing paintings isn't exactly what I'd call my strongest suit let alone something I have confidence in.

But true enough, the image does really give off the image of a medical patch that Taku is trying as hard as he can to keep intact by either reapplying or patching over with a new one... even if he can't keep truly contain the "blood" that is the pain and trauma left by Towa's past, or even Taku's own hurts that are both connected to Towa's ordeal and the tragedy that he had contended with alone (his mother and the debt he had accrued as a result of his family situation) even before Towa came along.

It might even represent how Taku has a hard time keeping his own troubles in check and is better (or at least more proactive and willing) at doing the same for others. Because try as he might, the cracks start to show (or bleed, in this case), partly because he's not good at lying or hiding things, and partly because there's only so much he can handle until he finally snaps from it all; hence why he has a darker side that manifests in his route, where the way the plot progresses makes things reach a breaking point for him.

That aside, from purely aesthetic point of view, it is relatively simple looking, especially when you compare it to the other paintings. Like I've said, I'm no artist myself, so I can't really give a good description of what I think of this and that painting without risking coming across as pretentious and such. But at the very least, I find it pleasing to look at because of its simplicity.

One other thing about it that I think is rather understated (as well as incredibly touching) is how it's the only painting that gets featured in the cover for the AfterStory drama CDs. I think that this is becase while it's a very apt visual reflection of Taku's guilt and burdens, which Towa knows very well with how perceptive he is (and it's even the focus of his Interrogations with Taku), it is also a representation of Towa's own longing for Taku the entire time the latter was in prison.

Heck, it even becomes a topic of conversation in the first track, which leads to one of my favorite moments between them:

Towa: You’re not going to ask me who’s the inspiration of those paintings? Taku: …No…  Towa: You’re not interested in knowing?  Taku: That’s not it…! But… Towa: But?  Taku: (slightly insecure) Of course I’m curious. I mean… who were you painting?   (Towa says nothing and simply chuckles at Taku’s cluelessness.) Taku: (flustered and annoyed) Hey…! Towa: (still a hint of laughter in his voice) Oh, sorry. I had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to figure it out, so I just…  Taku: …What do you mean by that? Towa: (moves closer to Taku) All those paintings, who do you think they are of? (leans even closer and answers in an affectionate whisper) Murase… Takuma.

It's really telling that after Towa paints something, he no longer really cares for it and doesn't mind whatever anyone else does to it. But this painting, he treasures it enough to keep it in Taku's apartment (or rather, their home, together).

That, and one other significant detail: when it comes to Towa's modus operandi regarding his painting, he only ever paints each model once, no exceptions. Why? Because he wants to capture the very first time his model's innermost desire is fulfilled; in other words, when their euphoria is at its apex. It's why he won't agree to a second time, since the impact is no longer the same.

However, the narration for Taku's Euphoria ending as well as some other lines from Towa in the drama CD made it apparent that while that painting with the white splotches and the red square is his magnum opus of Taku, there were countless other paintings and sketches that he made of the man.

His way of coping, of waiting for Taku to serve his time, to reflect and come back a changed man, was to reflect his memory and feelings for him on paper and canvas, over and over and over, each one definitely distinct from one another (even if we never get to see those other artworks).

So... there. I hope that I still made sense at the end of this post, and I really hope it was a satisfactory answer for you. Again, I am so sorry for the delayed response, but I really appreciate getting this ask. 🥺

[centrally-unplanned]

To share another thought on the Folding Ideas video I Don't Know James Rolfe from my last post, while I enjoyed it a ton I do think its core "meta" element fails to reach the heights it could. It is never made that explicit so I am making a subjective read here, but essentially while most of the content of the video is textually about James Rolfe, there are dozens of moments where Dan performs actions that mimic or parallel James, culminating in his own parodic angry video game review as the finale. The idea is something of a "there but for the grace of god I go" point, that perhaps all youtubers, and Dan specifically, are too close for comfort to Rolfe's reality of limited creative options and a hostile fanbase clinging to the past .

But I can't really say for sure! Because he is very adverse to making this concrete enough for the audience.

At times the visual parallels are incredibly direct. There is one moment, where Dan is explaining the real skill and craft of being an internet clown on demand, where he mimics Rolfe's style of rant to explain it while projected AVGN videos that were looping in the background flash over his own body:

And it really works, the meaning shines through; it is a moment you can see back through time where the idea for this shot was, spiritually, the impetus for the film, that this idea must have come to him and he built the essay around making it happen.

Other visual parallels are less explicit; when the parody sequence starts, Dan - who has built a 1/12th scale recreation of the Rolfe's "video game basement" aka studio set in order to "understand" him like normal people do - represents himself in that room via a tiny hand puppet

Which is cute if, like probably most people, know him as the guy who makes videos about NFTs or Qanon. But close to a decade ago, when he was first making ~20 minute media analysis takes, he represented himself on screen with a wooden puppet like this:

It is even like the same color, I am confident this is intentional, it is saying "yeah this could have been an alt version of me; I was not so far from this".

All these symbols function to make the emotional impact; but an emotional impact in service of...what? So in the essay he discusses the film Wavelength, a 1967 avant garde film that is almost entirely composed of filming the side of a room with minimal camera movement while actions occur around it. It is a movie that never gives you a meaning, and therefore you must project meaning into it, bring yourself to the table. That makes sense for Wavelength, and the aggressive cinematography of I Don't Know James Rolfe - which is stellar to be clear - is making the film out to be sort of its own personal Wavelength for YouTube.

But then we go back to that text, which is over an hour of Dan directly talking to the camera about a real person. It is incredibly concrete and detailed, with explicit points being made over and over. And through what those explicit points reveal... I don't think Dan Olsen is like James Rolfe! Does he have an hostile fanbase trapped in nostalgia? Do people acuse him of being cucked by his bitch wife? He has evolved as a filmmaker, intensely so, he does things completely differently than Rolfe does and completely differently from how he himself used to. He doesn't have a shitty biography that self-outs his own creative narcissism, he isn't obsessed with remaking his own childhood films - I am pretty sure as a kid he had never heard of NFTs, they didn't really exist! The final line of the film is "maybe you aren't a filmmaker either" - but idk, Dan, I kinda think you are! If documentarians can be filmmakers you have to qualify.

Now I'm not a fool, I understand that the film could be suggesting these are differences of degrees and not kind; that Dan is equally "trapped in the room" making vlogs for the net, just with more outward trappings of success. But, in the ruthless specificity and detail of his treatment of Rolfe...this film cannot be Wavelength. I am not capable of forging my own meaning from the pieces, he connected way too many of them. This is the trap of avant-garde; you are tempted to help the audience, but once you try to answer some of the questions, it forces the hand of the rest, they all have to fit into that schema. And the film is just too coy with Dan's own parallel life for me to figure the schema out. I make my guesses and I lack confidence in them, they feel "contradicted" by the text.

More detail would have been the easier path; less detail and more symbolic expression would have been the harder path. But right now the balance is just a bit too out of whack for it to come fully together.

[oktopiasscarletqueen]

Neurotic Erotic (Bloodweave Fic) playlist

Alright, so, heres the playlist I made for the fic and unreasonable analysis I made relating the songs to Gale and Astarion.

I know writing all this is a touch cringe, but I’m at peace with that; BG3 is a special interest of mine, and so is musical/literary analysis. That being said, I’m not trying to write any kind of groundbreaking, profound interpretations here. Moreso, I’m yelling my funny words at you because I like to yap. And, sometimes this is what me and my little sister do for fun; J and I put on music and go, “ [insert character would like this sound in a Modern AU” or, “this song is incredibly [insert character]-core because…”

Before you jump in, I’m gonna warn you, the transition between ‘Francis Forever’ and ‘Cancer’ (track 6 & 7 respectively) is a touch jarring, as is the inclusion of ‘Cancer’ in the middle of the playlist  in general, lol. Second, I’ll warn you this list is bound to get updated here and there eventually. Also, I may update/add to these in future.

I have put the songs “in order”, or as best “order” as my brain can think of right now.

Oh, and of course, spoilers ahead for essentially the whole game.

Fic Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56262295/chapters/142934368

Youtube Link: https://www.youtube.com/@Oktopiasscarletqueen/playlists

Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3BIufG9W5783HUh3OvDboD?si=675313ddfbbe4664

Song list, and correlation (with my interpretation and justification, if that interest you at all, lol):

INTRODUCTION:

¡Aikido! (Neurotic/Erotic) – Everything is a Lot by Will Wood & The Tapeworms

This song is about being obsessed with death, or the idea of dying; Theres something very Gale & Astarion about it (one being asked to die and the other literally being dead). Astarion being dead is a sort of representation (within this fic) of Gale’s later focus and near idolisation of dying, which really reminds me of the song. It’s title and the general idea behind it inspired me to write this fic. Mostly the title, its catchy and interpretive whether you know the song or not.

2. Maya the Psychic – Hesitant Alien by Gerard Way

So, y’know the tadpoles, right?

3. Starman – The Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust & the Spiders from Mars (2012 Remaster) by David Bowie

So, y’know the “Dream Guardian”, right?

GALE:

4. Cover This Song (A Little Bit Mine) – Everything is a Lot by Will Wood & The Tapeworms

Early game, Gale’s caught up on Mystra, and that’s an objective fact.  That’s what this song is in relation to him. Wishing to have her back, or at least her grace and favour. Like, imagine being cast aside by a god. A god who was your previous lover and kinda decides your fate.

5. First Love/Late Spring – Bury Me at Makeout Creek by Mitski

More Gale “pining” songs (you’re gonna see a lot of this). In the case of this one, the song is a sort of ‘love, life and duty is painful’. After the Mystra heartbreak, I can imagine Gale’s not exactly keen on letting anyone in else they abandon him again (Gale has a big ego, but he feels he’s not enough—he’s scared he’s not enough). Also, a few lines stick out for interpretation in regards to Gale. ‘One word from you and I would jump of this cliff I’m on, baby’ is very fitting for Mystra being like “lmao, kys” and how Gale is fully ready to do that as a show of faith. Another line that I wanna note, ‘And I was so young when I behaved 25…’ reminds me of not only Gale’s early magical prowess, but the fact  Gale being only 8 when he met Mystra for the first time; Gale had big shoes to fill, extremely high expectations to live up to and also an omnipotent, ever-present god leaning over his shoulder. This is where I’m gonna put a link to this Tumblr post because the OP does a fantastic job at dissecting all that (TW: mentions of grooming): https://www.tumblr.com/kirain/739521230081851392/i-want-to-take-a-moment-to-talk-about-gales

6. Francis Forever - Bury Me at Makeout Creek by Mitski

Kinda similar to above, but more “romantic” in a really twisted way. Gale really did love Mystra, I think; In the case of this song, it’s less about him as a character but more his past feelings and the grief there (obviously this isn’t what the songs exactly about, but we’re running on interpreting them into fictional characters, so… lol.

7. Cancer – The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

So, y’know the Nether Brain fight and Gale’s Orb, right?

8. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road – Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (Remastered) by Elton John

Acceptance and a return to the “average”. If you don’t let him ascend, Gale has the option to just live life at his own pace, and for me that’s his canon ending. My boy deserves a rest, and this song just remind me of that.

BLOODWEAVE (songs that just scream them)

9. Cannibal Queen – Tell It to the Volcano by Miniature Tigers

I just feel like the lyrics suit Gale’s feeling for Astarion in a really  fun way, idk man. It’s just weirdly them-core.

10. Baby You’re a Haunted House – Single (no album) by Gerard Way

Another ‘Gale to Astarion’ song. ‘…you’re a haunted house’ as a lyric reads as someone who has a lot of metaphorical ghosts in them (closet full of skeletons). Shout-out to the versus: ‘In the dark, we dance together…’  ‘In the dark we laugh together, because the misery’s funny to you’ ‘Sometimes you scare me, but I’ll come around to you… And I’ll find a way to scare you too’.

That’s just them (you’ll hear this from this section a lot).

11.  Red Moon – Everything is a Lot by Will Wood & The Tapeworms

First and foremost, this song is SO underappreciated (as is the album). It’s one of my favourites. This so in particular just sounds like the embodiment of Bloodweave. I take a lot of inspiration from this song when it comes to Neurotic Erotic (the fic). This song analysis would be paragraphs upon paragraphs long, so I’ll sum this up as simply as I can:

- Astarion is kinda ethereal looking (moon-elf-core) - Gales heart go doki-doki later in fic (referring to the 5th verse: 'Waxing to the rhythm writhing my chest’) - Gale and Astarion are drawn together by circumstance - They remain in each others orbit regardless of circumstance - Night is their time

Theres so much more, but I’ll leave some of the linking to you, lol

12. The Rhumba of Death – Camp Here & There: Campfire Songs Edition by Will Wood

*see to every other comment in this section*

13. We’ll Never have Sex - Single (no album) by Leith Ross

I think it’s not necessarily an argument that Astarion has issues around intimacy, particularly sexual intimacy. That’s what this is; this is why the song is here.

TRANSITION (A heads up to Astarion Territory, lol. Plus, I just like the song :P)

14. Interlude – Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance

Every playlist needs a good intermission, and this one has an Astarion-vibe to it. Serves as a good heads-up for whats to come and as a cool down from the previous song instead of just jumping right into a different tone. Plus, I’ve not gotten over my emo days, so…

ASTARION

15. The End – The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

The end. The end of Astarions mortal life, the end of being under Cazador’s thumb while tadpoled.

16. Dead! – The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

You can’t put ‘The End.’ without ‘Dead!’ and vice-versa. But, the lyrics do speak to me in encapsulating some surface-level Astarion plot, especially when it comes to his mortal, Magistrate days. Did Astarion get what he deserved? (referring to the versus: ‘I’ll be here waiting, babe; Did you get what you deserve?’). The BG3 artbook tells us Astarion was a corrupt magistrate, so this feel fitting. It’s speculative, but I think Astarion wasn’t too popular when he was alive, lol.

17. The Sharpest Lives – The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

‘I’ve really been on a bender and it shows’Astarion doesn’t have the best coping mechanisms and skills, and this song is that. Plus, it’s another vampire-related song so it fits in well. And the lines below feel like they were written for him (y’know what I mean?): ‘You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow, Juilet loves the beat, and the lust it commands, Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo’

18. Brand New City - Lush by Mitski

I feel like Astarion has a lot of issues around control, like specifically in regard to needing to be in control in some small way. He’s emotionally withering away with his destructive ways, but it’s the only way he knows how to grasp onto some semblance of control over his life. ‘I think my ways are wearing me down, But if I gave up on being pretty, I wouldn’t know how to be alive,’

19.  The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You – Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance

This song is about Gerard Ways substance abuse and struggles with it, his addiction personified as a woman. In a similar vein, I’m using this song as a representation of Astarion’s own addiction (or obsession) to power and revenge. Its fuelling him, but its also slowly him a dark, toxic (and even dangerous) path.

20. Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In! – SELF-iSH by Will Wood & The Tapeworms

Another case of a song about self-destructive behaviours that just really fits Astarions own trauma and his response to it. Will Wood is a genius lyricist, don’t @ me, and this is a prime example of his work capturing addiction and other self-destructive behaviours, feeling powerless in stopping/not being able to stop, even though you could (with a lot of effort of therapy, mind you).

21. Kill All Your Friends – Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance

The opening lines capture more Astarion plot:  ‘Well, you can hide a lot about yourself, But honey, what’re you gonna do?’ Mainly, this song just feels like it fits him, especially with ‘I was killing before killing was cool,’.

22. Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!) – The Normal Album by Will Wood

Another vampire song, so naturally its here. A number of the lines in this song feel like inner turmoil within Astarion, but I can’t just copy paste the whole thing here, lol. Side note, this song has been in my private Astarion playlist for the past 2-ish years and I’ve always been like, ‘man, I wish I had the time to make an animatic to this (or Hand Me My Shovel) for Astarion’, and recently I stumbled upon an Astarion animatic someone made to this song and was SO SHOOK. So, I’m going to link it, because its fantastic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWKObQgHaGg

23. Your Body, My Temple - Camp Here & There: Campfire Songs Edition by Will Wood

POV: Astarion’s manipulating you.

24. Vampire Reference in a Minor Key – “In case I make it,” by Will Wood

Very Astarion-core song, but specifically in regards to his softer side (in the case of this fic, his feelings down the line for Gale). Obviously the vampire song is gonna remind me of the twink vampire.

25. The Chain (2004 Remaster) – Rumours by Fleetwood Mac

So, y’know Cazador and Astarions “siblings”, right?

26. Against the Kitchen Floor – “In case I make it,” by Will Wood

So, yknow the confession Astarion has in act 2, right? My canon ending for Astarion is him healing, finally. He’s a spawn, yes, but he’s making the most of that his immortal life as he can. I’ll say it again, Will Wood is a GENUIS and (most definitely because it comes from his own experiences) he captures the process of healing but not being fully there in this song. In relation to Astarion, this is him trying—genuinely trying to be better and work out what he’s going through. He’s not there, he won’t be for a long time, but he’s willing to try. Trying is the first step.

[cynthia39100]

so sorry for late response and i need you to know that as im typing this i’m listening to i am the one reprise and god it’s sooo good. yes it def takes a lot of courage to do what natalia did especially since natalia and dan weren’t on the same page about how to take care of diana it’s just natalia is soo brave.

omg yes the lighting with the wide shot too and the close up! i love that moment when characters say the same thing but in different ways. it’s such a cool way to show how the characters are thinking differently which i just love it.

the reprises are always the best with it turning all the lyrics on its head which for a musical is my favorite thing to happen and it’s my favorite part. yes the i am the one works with saying it to dan like it works well saying it to diana and also saying it to gabe which i really like.

i did my rewatch a couple of days ago and i’m obsessed with the why stay/a promise blocking that you mentioned a while ago like i really love it. both diana and natalia having a realization in their respective relationships but then also coming to a different conclusion about how to work out their romantic relationships is sooo good. o believe that this is the first time that diana thinks about leaving because she has to for both of their sanities and then natalia later on realizing that yes she can be loved by henry and maybe she’s a mess but they work well together. like i’m obsessed with everything surrounding that song like natalia and henry hugging at the end vs diana and dan going farther away from each other like ahh. i really wanna watch it a third time before it goes away from pbs since there’s not that much time left because i really do love this musical and im obsessed with this pro shot. i’m really thankful that you love it because it opened me up to watching the musical.

honestly i would love an in depth analysis of i am the one like it’s one of my ultimate favorites from the show so i do love how you talk about it and hijack the post lol.

Don’t worry about the late response. I’m not super quick either ^^ (working on Merlin stuff recently) (thanks for all the reblogging btw)

Natalie really is so brave!! She cares so much for both Diana and Dan even though he never got enough love from the two. There are so many instances where she silently cries watching Diana sinking in delusion or Dan fussing over Diana and never her. But she still defends Diana when they agreed to ETC and took Diana to hospital when Dan couldn’t. And she stayed with Dan when Diana was gone. She’s incredible. Thank god she had Henry.

I really like some lyrics in Why Stay.

“Why not simply end it? We’ll all comprehend it cause most of the world would say, he’s better off that way to be free. And maybe so is she.”

It’s so poignant depicting the complicated mindset, feeling grateful but also suffocated by the overwhelming good intentions from the other person, how the relationship is viewed by the society and themselves. I just thought it’s really nice that it doesn’t tell us which is more correct—should the caretaker in the relationship stay or leave/is it fair for the care receiver to lash out like that. It just puts it out there for you to think. The fact that Henry and Natalie hugged in the end while Diana and Dan fell apart seemed to suggest that both ways were correct and I really love that.

I’m glad you’re not bored by my I Am The One rants haha. I might write it properly but also I sort of feel like all my feelings for them were poured into that fic I wrote so I feel less urgent to do it. Even if I do it’ll be a while since I suddenly want to get the pride badge of Merlin Bingo and I have less than a week to finish a fic I only thought of like… last weekend 😂

[wilsons-three-legged-siamese]

Ok sorry to bother you but this is a thought that I had at 1:33 am so it might not make sense I could’ve probably posted it in my main but I don’t really have the courage to do it bc I’m scared that I’m gonna get bashed by ppl but if you listen to “no surprises” by Radiohead you see that it’s kind of Hilson coded, soo

If you look at the lyric “such a pretty house, and such a pretty garden” then you could think that House would be the house (surname) and wilson would be the garden

if the garden is pretty then the house looks prettier as well, house and Wilson’s personalities are polar opposites, especially at first glance,without diving into the complexities of their characters. House’s rudeness makes Wilson seem even kinder

also, if we think about back gardens/backyards, and how some houses look completely different on the front and the back, and if we say Wilson’s the house and house is the backyard then we can say that house sees a completely different version of Wilson to everyone else (also that house is looking at Wilson’s ass)

lastly, if we think about a garden, like a really big one, then those can often seem sort of mazelike, just like house’s personality. It seems simple to figure out and leave behind, just saying that he is an asshole all the time, but deeper you dive the harder it is to understand and find your way through

If we think about Wilson as a house then yeah. He seems sturdy and unchanging, but if you look inside you’ll see rooms, and rooms can look completely different from one another. These rooms could represent wilsons thoughts, and how different they can be. I’d like to think there’s a big one dedicated to house

in summary, house is Wilson’s garden and Wilson is House’s house lmao

Anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk

(srry again for ranting in asks im probably not allowed but idk)

i have not a clue who you are but HOLY SHIT MAN/GIRL/WHATEVER THE ENBY ONE IS

this is actually impressive like what

it would also make sense for the time no surprises is ued in the series (please tell me youve finished house or are passed this bit, if you aren't dont read past this or do, idk you might not care for spoilers 😭) because like, when house is in the physc ward, he well obviously misses wilson as its shown he doesn't visit. so yeah, he could be thinking about wilson.

but that whole analysis ON ONE LINE MIGHT I ADD, ONE LYRIC TJATS MENTAL is sososo impressive, if you wanna rant in my/our dms please feel free as I WANNA HEAR MOREEEE

but please dont feel that way about posting on your main, this was actually incredible and it should be posted on your main!! nobody will think less of you, if more, because this was KKWBSKSB /pos

[sleepboysummer]

eun hyuk analysis cause hes my fav for @finnsblood

oldest sibling. we know this. assumedly gave up the entirety of his teenage years to raise eun yu. dropped out of med school and got a job so she could pursue her dreams. his entire life revolves around her, the only times we see him smile in the show being when he is with her or thinking about her. she is pretty much his pride and joy, even though when we see her interact with him before the "apocalypse" she acts hostile towards him. ("you always used to bug me and cling to me when i didn't want you around") but he isnt even fazed, because he cares so much for her. when he makes the announcement to the tenants to come downstairs, its obviously spoken directly to her. hes begging her to be safe because shes literally his entire world. thankfully she survives all of the attacks in the green home, but its clear that if she didn't he would completely break. he'd have nothing left to live for without eun yu.

anyways about him as a leader. he clearly didnt INTEND to become that. he immediately jumped to fight the first monster while everyone else stood frozen in fear. eun hyuk, not even old enough to be out of college, the one to come up with a plan when no one else would because all he KNOWS is to protect. that is literally his only option. its so ingrained in his mind that he cant even fathom not moving to action to save as many people as possible. its in his blood.

his morals sort of remind me of the trolley problem. his focus is on preserving the greatest part of the whole, no matter who might die or get hurt to do that. like how he sends hyun-soo and yi-kyung out to retrieve supplies or turn on the electricity, because even if they died, their success would mean so much good for everyone that in his mind it would be worth it. and its not out of malice or hatred, even if it seems that way (mainly towards hyunsoo). because thats what he would do in their place. if he had been unable to die like hyunsoo was, or as strong and tactical as yikyung, he wouldve been right out there fighting like he sent them to do. he just knew they were more likely to succeed than he was. even if its not morally correct, its logical; at least when you look at the numbers. when sending hyunsoo to retrieve mr han, he doesnt care about saving the two children if it means having access to all of his skills that could possibly help save everyone. you can assume that he essentially only views people as what they can do for the group. i see a lot of people calling him morally gray, which i think is reasonable, but i do still think it comes from a good place- even if he does hurt a lot of people in the process.

being morally gray doesnt mean that he's violent, though. time after time you see someone hit him, or yell at him, or degrade him, or push him around, and time after time he just takes it. never once does he fight back. even when the gang holds a gun to his head, he doesnt cry or beg or scream for help. he stays stone-faced and frozen, the same as he always is, keeping a brave face for all of the others. when jin ok beats him and screams that he killed her daughter, he just lets her. yi-kyung throws him into walls like six times and he never does anything but quietly ask her to let go. i think its possible that he feels he deserves it. i mean, eun hyuk doesnt really seem to care about himself that much. he thinks of himself to be just as expendable as he thinks of everyone else, so his morals clearly dont come from a place of selfishness.

in fact, he is so incredibly UNselfish as a leader that he completely blocks out any sort of emotions that he experiences, putting his own needs and feelings aside to help the others. he knows that everything would fall apart without him being completely focused on the goal at all times. hes never shown taking a break for longer than just a few seconds to breathe, and even those are few and far between (from what i can remember, less than once an episode). i could be wrong, but the first time i think of him to be truly shaken is in episode four when he watches su-ung and min-ju die. he starts to panic, frantically pushing people out of the way and back, away from the danger, the only thing he knows to do. because theres nothing else he can do. he had to stand and watch his own faliure. he had to watch what comes of the people that he could not protect.

and when hes face-to-face with the monster that killed them, he doesnt move or run away, he just stays frozen, almost shell-shocked, knowing he could die at any moment. but he doesnt move. his eyes have the most emotion that hes shown in the series so far. it leaves him alive, with the blood of those he couldnt save sprayed across his face like a punishment for his faliure. (i love this shot, because it drips from his glasses looking like the tears that he can not cry.)

this is one of the only times that hes genuinely shaky. because what scares him is not the possibility of his own death- he is most scared when other people are facing death. like in episode nine when seon young is shot, he looks like hes holding back tears; but then later when they turn the gun to him, hes taking deep breaths, silent and still. he never once in the show fights for his own life. he only ever fights for others.

and then oh my god episode eight. dont even get me started on episode eight. when he has to deliver the killing blow and burn jaeheon to death- to do something so horrific to his friend who he cares for and respects so much. as i said earlier, again, here he just looks shell shocked. more so even than in episode four. you can see tears form in his eyes, and you can see him force them away.

when i first watched this show, i thought they were setting him up for a breakdown. he has so many moments where he just slightly shows the tiniest bit of fear or of sadness, but never tips over the edge, and i was confused when it never happened. but on my second rewatch i realized; when it comes to eun hyuk, whether a swallow, or a shaky breath, or the tiniest lip tremble- that is his breakdown. because hes so traumatized that if everything spilled out he would be too far gone. he could never recover from that. so his detachedness is a trauma response, his mind blocking everything hes been through out, because it has to, so that he doesnt fully break. (this is paralleled, i think, in season three when he actually IS completely emotionless. you really start to realize how much of his actions were actually motivated by his feelings early on.)

then- episode ten. when you can see him make the decision to leave the tunnel. he tells eun yu that hes leaving to bring hyunsoo back, and he smiles to her just a little bit, his voice just slightly more gentle than it usually is. and then when they see each other, he hears the ringing. but he ignores it. he doesnt see hyunsoo as a monster anymore. eunhyuk cares about him now- thats his friend, just like jaeheon had been, and sangwook, and so many others. and you start to have hope that maybe, maybe they can go back to eun yu together, and itll be okay, but just as you start to believe it hyunsoo shakes his head no and you remember how the show began.

but when he doesnt even try to stop hyunsoo from going out, you realize that was never what this is. hes not coming back. he has willingly gone out to kill himself.

all he wants as he dies is to think of his sister. he listens to her music and looks at their family picture. he loves her so much, she's his whole world, she's his everything. as long as him leaving is whats best for her, its going to be worth it.

and then as the building crumbles onto him, he smiles. and now that he's alone, with no one left to protect, he cries for the first and only time.

i think this is the most effective way it couldve been revealed that he is turning. he didnt let anybody know, because of course he didn't. he is the same as he's always been- he has to do what is the best for the group, no matter who it hurts or who has to die to get there. and now it is his turn. ughh i just love this moment so much its literally so important to me. it kind of reframes his entire character to me tbh. hes just soo interesting all i ever wanna do is analyze him

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Zilla

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS! Also this is a crossover with...)

Is It Really That Bad?

Is It Really That Bad is normally the sort of place where I’d talk about a movie like Roland Emmerich’s Godzilla. Critically reviled, disowned by fans, mocked by Toho, eventually reevaluated and now has something of a minor fanbase. Easy review, right? Well, after watching it, I kind of realized there's really only one thing that stands out as notable in this movie, one thing that towers over everything else in it and is really worth talking about.

That would be Zilla.

I never expected the first kaiju Psycho Analysis to be about her, and I definitely never imagined my first IIRTB/PA hybrid would be on her either. She’s easily the most infamous American kaiju ever made, a stunningly bad “in name only” adaptation of Japan’s golden boy that misses the point in every conceivable way and whose only real contribution to the world is a badass animated spin-off starring her son. But is that really true? Is she really such an abysmal kaiju that she actively ruins a film that’s seemingly not offensive in any other regard (despite starring Matthew Broderick, who killed two women in a car crash)? Let’s take a look and see if Zilla, and by extension her debut film, are really that bad.

Motivation/Goals: Ultimately, Zilla is just a terrified animal for much of the movie, acting out of fear and pain more than outright malice. In this way, she’s a lot more comparable to the Godzilla of Shin Godzilla than anything else. Late in the movie though she begins to act out of a sense of vengeance since Matthew Broderick ended the life of all her children just like he did to those two poor, innocent women in that car crash, making her lust for revenge completely understandable. At least he mssed the coolest egg so we could get a cool cartoon out of him.

Performance: Okay, there isn’t an actor in a suit playing this beastie, but I did want to talk about the effects. And, uh… They’re a mixed bag. Sometimes she looks pretty good, other times you can see how time has not been kind to the model. There’s quite a few moments where Zilla feels a little too weightless and it kinda takes you out of the moment. Still, she looks good when it counts, such as in her final scene as she dies. Also they sculpted her pussy and it can be seen in some shots if you look close.

Final Fate: After her babies are blown up and she completely loses her shit, she’s lured into the wires of the Brooklyn Bridge, which she becomes tangled in. This makes her an incredibly easy target for missiles, which bring her down. Matthew Broderick watches her death sadly, probably regretting he didn’t ram into her head-on with his car like he did to those two women in Ireland. It’s an incredibly tragic, somber scene that reminds you that at the end of the day Zilla was little more than a scared animal that only wanted to protect its young and survive… and it’s punctuated by all the New Yorkers cheering and applauding her death. This is truly the most New York moment ever put to film.

She did return in Final Wars in one of the most one-sided kaiju battles of all time.

Evilness: One of the reasons I’ve held off on doing animals and kaiju is that most of the time they aren’t really evil, they’re just rampaging animals and giving them a PA score seems kind of pointless. Like they don’t really have human morality, right? With that in mind, I think a 2/10 is as high as I can go for Zilla. You’d probably think it would be a 1/10 but I do think she has at least a little malice with regards to Matthew Broderick—but really, can I blame her for that? The man paid less than two hundred bucks and faced no jail time after killing two women due to his reckless driving, I’d fucking go into a blind rage and destroy a city if I saw him myself.

Best Scene: When she climbs up a skyscraper and gets illuminated by lightning? You gotta admit, that’s peak kaiju shit right there.

Final Thoughts & Score: Zilla is one of the most interesting kaiju ever because she is actually pretty good if you completely ignore what she’s suppose to be.

Like, as an adaptation of Godzilla, she sucks. She is genuinely not even remotely in the ballpark of the Big G, with basically nothing in common with him aside from the most basic origins. But “giant radioactive lizard” is sort of a stock B-movie monster; there’s not any of the commentary Godzilla is known for, leaving Zilla as little more than a giant force of destruction in a Roland Emmerich film, a monster meant to crush people and smash landmarks.

But if you just block out the Godzilla connection—which really isn’t all that hard, honestly—she’s honestly a pretty solid monster in her own right. Somehow there’s actually a bit of depth and sympathy to her, and she’s a pretty consistent threat who causes a lot of damage. As her own kaiju, she’s honestly decent, with a neat design and aspects that make her unique, but all of that is hampered by the fact it had the world’s most famous and beloved giant monster stapled to it. And it’s not even like the aspects she cribs from Godzilla are used well. The origins as an animal driven mad from nuclear testing is never at all relevant to the plot, and serves as background lore to explain why she exists, a far cry from basically every good Godzilla movie.

With the curb stomp battle in Final Wars, the pretty rad spin-off cartoon, comic appearances, and many years to soften the blow, the film has gotten a major reappraisal along with the monster. What was once an absolutely hated monster is now viewed as… pretty okay! And what was once a hated movie is now viewed as… pretty okay! Godzilla ‘98 is a perfectly fine and enjoyable monster movie, and at least a good chunk of that is because Zilla herself is a pretty cool monster. My big thing with kaiju movies is that the monster has to be halfway decent, and Zilla is a little over halfway decent. I tink she deserves a 6.5/10 for being a fairly above average monster who is weighed down by terrible baggage that has somewhat faded away over time. Is she one of the best movie monsters of all time? Not at all! But she’s entertaining enough.

I’d say the score for the movie itself is pretty accurate. This isn’t an amazing movie whatsoever, but it really isn’t some catastrophically awful piece of shit. You just have to ignore the dumbass decision to slap Godzilla’s name on the film and it’s fine—something it shares with the monster itself. Everything avoids being either too good or too bad; it’s all just really okay. Decent action, a few fun performances, some solid effects, some okay humor… There’s some lame and cringey stuff but it all balances out. It's fine. It's a fine enough monster movie. You could do a hell of a lot worse than this, and let's be honest, it's better than some of the shitty Godzilla movies Toho cranked out.

Decent monster, decent movie. And hey, you know what? Let's throw in a brief crossover with Michael After Midnight too! How will we do that? Well, you know how I sometimes review porn?

And that's three for three, baby!