#this is so hilarious with & without context

[marioandluigigi]

ღ | Being Jackie's secret burnout girlfriend headcanons

ʚɞ Popular Jackie Taylor x Burnout reader

ʚɞ warnings: cheating-ish(?), internalised homophobia, weed and alcohol consumption, nsfw content.

ʚɞ author's note: yes I’m aware this has Jackienat vibes it’s one of my fav non canon ships sue me.

ღ You and Jackie Taylor couldn’t possibly be more different, she was rich, popular and captain of the football team, fake smiles and friends all around, Jackie Taylor was the kind of girl who knew exactly how to act, what to say and how to say it, in order to fit in and get what she wants.

ღ You on the other hand were a “burnout”, “trailer trash” you name it. You were used to the harsh nicknames and the comments about your financial status. Unlike Jackie you prioritised quality over quantity when it came to friends there were about two people you considered your friend, one of them being Natalie who lived near you.

ღ The two of you had never properly interacted outside the context of the team, sure you’d say good morning in the locker room and listen to her pep talks and pass her the ball during the game but that was about it. And it was honestly more than enough, Jackie was a prissy spoiled rich princess in your opinion, and you wanted nothing to do with the drama and attention that always seemed to follow her around. Or so you thought.

ღ It was Mari’s 17th birthday party, everyone had been drinking whatever concoction they managed to conjure up with the alcohol available and Jackie Taylor was more than a little drunk, lightweight. You first find her outside sulking outside of the house. Every rational part of you tells you to leave her there it’s none of your business, but the more sensible part of you just couldn’t leave the girl out in the street to be murdered, so against your best judgement you approach the queen bee.

“What are you doing here?” - sulking Jackie emote

“Making sure you don’t get kidnapped and cut to bits how are we going to make it to nationals without our captain?”

“You’re not funny.” She says while sniffling.

She than told you about everything, what started as a fight with Shauna backtracked to her parents weird behaviour towards her and than how utterly sick she is of Jeff and how guilty she feels for not loving him like she’s supposed to.

ღ You assumed Jackie just needed someone to vent to in her drunken and vulnerable state and that the next day she wouldn’t even remember that she told you all of that. Wrong, Jackie remembers, she also remembers how attentive you were, how you listened to her, really listened and comforted her, despite you two not being “best friends”.

ღ After that, Jackie started paying attention to you, more accurately she couldn’t stop paying attention to you, she felt strange like a stalker almost, she also didn’t understand why she suddenly felt weirdly jealous every time she saw you with Nat.

ღ She loved when you were late to class, because that meant she had an excuse to stare at you shamelessly while you walked to your desk in the back.

ღ She made a plan to get closer to you to get to know you better, because all she knew was that you liked to smoke and play soccer and that you were a really good listener. And insanely attractive.

ღ She started pairing up with you during soccer warm ups much to Shauna and Natalie’s dismay she kept saying that it would be beneficial for team bonding to switch up the usual pairs. She also invited you and just you to a “study session” at her house and than said that the rest of the girls just didn’t show up.

ღ You knew what was up, you weren’t stupid. But Jackie clearly wasn’t ready to admit to herself that what she felt for you was a little bit more than friendship, and you weren’t about to push her. Plus it was adorably hilarious watching her buy punk rock cassettes just to have something to talk to you about.

ღ The first time you two kissed was at one of Randy’s parties. She was drunk and you were high and it just happened surprisingly it wasn’t awkward if anything it felt right.

ღ After that, you expected Jackie to ignore you to say it never happened to attribute it to a lack of judgment and way to much alcohol in her system but, to your surprise, the next day, she waited for you outside the locker room, at the end of practice, and told you how she felt about you but that she wasn’t ready for other people to know when she barely understood it herself, you told her you two could take things slow, that it was cool, and in that moment she fell a little bit more in love with you.

ღ when you two began dating Jackie saved a seat for you everywhere, in class, the cafeteria, in the locker room so you could change near her, you also always drove to school together.

ღ Sneaking away during parties so you can make out and feel each other up. Jackie always giving Jeff a half assed excuse that she needed to go to the bathroom.

ღ Jackie doesn’t smoke much if at all, she shared a cigarette with Lottie at parties occasionally, but that was about it. So when you first had her try a joint she got buzzed after two or three hits, her big eyes half lidded while she watched mesmerised as the smoke left your mouth. You felt giddy when she asked you to shotgun with her, to teach her, because she had never done that with someone.

ღ Making out under the bleachers or in your car before practice and than watching Jackie run because she hates being late.

ღ Jackie who, steals your clothes all the time mainly your leather jacket, because it smells like you and she secretly likes the feeling of being someone’s, yours.

ღ You two have pretty different styles but Jackie likes to match with you even if it’s just color coordinating her outfits to yours or wearing one singular similar article of clothing.

ღ Jackie told Shauna about you two, so you decided to tell Nat. While Shauna was incredibly apprehensive for a number of reasons Nat just found the whole thing incredibly funny in a “damn Taylor didn’t know you had it in ya.” Way.

ღ Jackie who, eventually dumps Jeff. It’s hard for her to let go of the version of herself she always saw in her head but she couldn’t keep lying to him, he didn’t deserve that no one does, in her opinion.

ღ The first time you two had sex was also the first time she ever came. She was breathless and fell asleep in your arms soon after muttering that she didn’t know she could do that.

ღ Jackie who’s a sucker for soft, gentle, slow sex, she loves to kiss you slowly and look you in the eyes while your fingers are buried deep inside her and your bodies are pressed against each other’s.

ღ Jackie who, is a queen of preparation therefore a queen of aftercare, you want water, snacks, massages, kisses, shower you name it she’ll give it to you.

ღ Jackie who, loves to cook, bake especially and has you try on all the different food she makes while you hug her from behind.

ღ Jackie who, buys you two promise rings and has you promise you’ll never leave her. You would never leave her, you couldn’t.

ღ Jackie who, to everyone’s surprise is the one to propose to you, she takes you to a pretty place with a nice view and has a whole speech that has her crying at the end of it while she kisses your lips after you say yes, as you taste her tears on your lips.

[canonizzyhours]

People get really upset about David Jenkins saying Izzy's a "good first mate." Like, I personally would not describe Izzy that way, because a good first mate doesn't turn you in to the cops and can be trusted to command the ship while you're busy for five minutes without immediately shitting themself. But I'm not upset that David said that! It's pretty obvious what he means - Izzy's the character who is meant to be highly skilled at, like, normal standard pirate abilities such as swordfighting, shooting guns, all the stuff he teaches Stede - the idea that he wasn't meant to be good at that stuff was always pretty obviously cope, you can decide you don't care about authorial intent there if you want but it WAS always obviously the intent so it shouldn't be surprising for the author to say it.

Izzy's big flaw in operating as a pirate isn't any of that stuff, it's that he's got a negative charisma score, he's a black hole as far as social skills go, so he's unable to command respect from other pirates; they might be scared of him in some contexts like if he's threatening a duel but they do not like or respect him. But working for Blackbeard solves that problem - he doesn't need to command respect in his own right if everyone knows him as Blackbeard's personal representative. So in that sense, Izzy operates really well as a first mate. The position of first mate allows his actual skills to shine while making his failings less relevant. He is good at being a first mate. First mate is a good position for him. It's not good for Ed! But it's a great position for Izzy.

Remember the thing about "good first mate" was immediately followed by "but he should never be captain" (which is hilariously in contrast to all the canyon people who thought Izzy should take over the Revenge at the end of s2). That was part of the context! Izzy would not operate well in other positions but he IS good at being first mate, in this specific sense!

#539.

[setaflow]

The dichotomy of Brennan helping with ability score rolls for newer players:

Titan Takedown: Preps high-level base stats for the cast, with everyone having a 20 in their two most relevant ability scores and no one really having a genuine dump stat (no one's character has below a 14/+2 modifier in any ability), which allows the players to play to their class strengths and not have to worry about fucking up as much in a shorter, tighter campaign.

Fantasy High: Ally Beardsley rolls a 4 for Kristen's Dex and has to live with with the consequences of that for 6+ years

[lautakwah]

man the pchal run & bun video is Legendary i know nobody here is a huge pkmn nuzlocke fan let alone follows adhd bicon jan pchal krüger but seeing him struggle for the past year and a bit and then coming out with pretty much The best video of his channel is so 🥺🥺 like not even in a parasocial way the writing production value score animation(!!!) etc are sooo good and it rly drives home how hard this romhack is while also showing how much hes grown over the years n during the playthrough n writing + editing of the vid

[can-of-slorgs]

Completed the Shenkuu Stamp collection some time ago, so it was only fair to draw my girl Mirsha

[g1rlr0b1n]

Congrats to Black Canary, the Taylor Swift of the DC universe, for helping Damian along with his sexual awakening. Her gaydar is impeccable.

I know DC probably wanted him to have a crush on her but...really DC? Damian becoming a Swiftie...doesn't exactly scream “straight man” (this is a joke please don't hurt me 😅)

[hazard-c-horror]

NEXUS PUT YOUR DAMN DOG ON A LEASH!!! (I'm sorry but I would find it funny if he's kept on a leash when out)

Wait, wait, wait.

What is this in correlation too???

Is this BloodSolar related or Hazard related?

[dennisboobs]

all vinegar no honey

[goldentigerfestival]

Decided to translate the Fluri section in the 30th anni book for the question, "who is your favorite duo & couple?", voted in by fans and reaching second place overall, because the first and third answers were too adorable. 😌

Fan answers for their choice:

● They've been together since childhood and are inseparable. No matter how far apart they are, they're always together in their hearts, which is always heartwarming.

● I feel like the conflict between the two of them, and their clashing senses of justice, create the focal point in the work of "Vesperia".

● It's really wonderful how they're not reserved with each other, and how when they're together, they become uncomposed and childish.

[otanatchan]

Excerpt from Alkaloid/Crazy:B RadiSta Episode 10 (Azakami Yohei, Kasama Jun, Amasaki Kohei, Shigematsu Chiharu, Nakazawa Masatomo) 

“Do you want to see their underwear?”

In the second round of word wolf, everyone kind of knew that Shige-chan was just going to act suspicious no matter what, and Ama-chan just had to bring up undies.

☆ RadiSta clip masterpost ☆

[vaguelylikeabutt]

10 minute power hour patreon extras - s3e4 - “history of the challenge”

-

“do you want me to rub mayonnaise on you?”

[uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu]

ok i understand the show dexter is about a literal serial killer but i feel like netflix should include "comedy" in this

[kiichu]

The Beekeeper (2024) spoilers without context

[ecoustsaintmein]

disclaimer: Mein Deutsch ist nicht gut genug, um die Witze vollständig zu verstehen, aber I lost it when Richy started to struggle to keep it together and progressively looks like he's dying from laughter 😂😂😂😂

[yeti-zeus]

Decided to go as Lady Pole for halloween day in addition to my plan to go as Lisa Swallows to parties on halloweekend, however now I have to sew an empire waist into a slip dress, and figure out how to do lipstick that makes my mouth look like a rose. no one seems to have done this lip look and put it on the internet as of yet and so I have no references and must wing it :(

[boy-oneder]

I'm obsessed with this picture