#this is the only platform i can post about this without spoiling the fun

[averagenderedmanta]

Gotta love my stupid idea of a semi spontaneous weekend trip to the other half of the state.

[gomzdrawfr]

Can we know more about Ghost with Raven? For those of us who are new here. 👉👈 I'm especially curious if Price is involved when those two are together, or how his dynamic is with the both of them if not. OT3? Do we throw Nik in there somewhere? Get all the poly going on? Or is it just Ghost and Raven against the world? 🤍

Hello!! Welcome to my lil ramble spot :3

I like to mix up my OC with the other characters for fun 😂 (imagine me holding them like dolls and smashing their faces together) and make things up along the way. So my uhhh explanations are gonna be wonkey

Rambles below! Kinda messy sorry!

GhostRaven started off as a separate thing, the idea was to explore something different like “these two are always fighting and cursing each other out but you mess with either one of them they will make sure you regret” or “I hate you so much vs You want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid” vibe, yk. I just like to make them bud their heads together. The other part of it was just wanting to see what two people who have fucked upbringing would behave in a relationship since Raven’s lore is based off of Ghost (well kinda)

I do have like, a whole backstory for GhostRaven like PriceRaven but I just never really compiled it or make it official because my brain could only get organized for one pair at the moment 😂 This itself can be a whole post which I’ll share next time if you are interested about it!

Tbh, I started off with GhostRaven first when I decided to make a cod oc, but because OC x Ghost stuff usually get targeted for no reason (on anywhere really, but tumblr is the safest among all the platforms I see) so I didn’t post much about them until much much later xD I got nervous doing PriceRaven back then too but eventually I kind of just went on and ramble about them once I felt comfortable enough :3 so for the longest time it was just PriceRaven or GhostRaven

Then I decided to spice it up with Price in it (PriceGhostRaven is thus born) (and also, Im projecting to Raven cuz I want Price and Ghost both HFHSHSHSH) There’s no real answer to the way their dynamic works but I did had a few stories? Or ideas? As to how the three of them became a thing? xD

I like to imagine Price and Ghost had a thing going on, and then Price went on ahead with Raven and Ghost was just kinda chilling, and then Raven found out their history and went “so what if”, Ghost goes “huh” and then Price went “yeah so are you in or not” and Ghost went “sure fuck it why not”— yeah HAHA Price is the one calling the shot in their relationship, Ghost and Raven follows (tho Raven can be a tiny bit of a brat sometimes)

The other part is GhostRavenPrice where it’s mostly Ghost and Raven ganging up and spoiling Price…imagine two grumpy growling wolf(GhostRaven) surrounding their owner(Price) - that’s the vibe 😂 I like to draw em in a way that both Ghost and Raven are possessive and insane with their way of “loving” another, and Price just went “ayt bet”

I haven’t consider throwing Nik into the party because I still donno how to feel about NikRaven yet :3 also because so far I’ve only ever done ot3 and never explored beyond 3 peeps. I did consider PriceGhostRavenJelly? (Jelly is another OC of mine shipped primarily with Ghost and Rudy) it might be fun to dabble on it sometime

I had, and will not consider ghoapraven xD but perhaps will consider ghoapjelly, but nothing’s for certain, entirely based on my mood LOL

But basically, the main ships that I do here are PriceRaven, GhostRaven and GhostJelly, and three of these ships have their own separate stories and they exist on different timelines. However, I like to mix them sometimes just for the fun of it (eg: PriceRaven that becomes GhostRaven and eventually PriceGhostRaven or PriceRaven double date GhostJelly)

Then I do other poly ships sometimes for fun, without any backstory or anything, just doodles

[fruttymoment]

About your last post, when you make posts about other games, could you please just warn if your post will have a spoiler of something, if possible? (Same thing on bluesky, since I follow you there).

Ik it's probably common sense, but I just wanted to ask you that, since there are games like Rain World, that I want to play but I still didn't buy and still didn't get in the mood to play.

I was gonna ask in the comments of that post but I got a little shy .,.

HELO

Of course!!! I mostly avoid drawing spoiler-ishy stuff in the first place :3 but when i do, I do my best to tag them a spoilers! (RARELY at times I can forget but most of the times its fine!)

AND FROR RAIN WORLD. COUGHS. LOOKS AROUND.

I strongly recommend it a lot !!!! I VIOLENTLY RECOMMEND IT !!! However, before you DO buy the game and replace your mind with Slugcat, lemme give you a quick run without trying to spoil the game. I do need to say these because sometimes, people get the wrong idea about Rain World. And it's not their fault! The GAME is just,,, hehehe.

So!

• Rain World is NOT an adventure game. It's an ecosystem simulator, with platforming. You'll understand what I mean when I say it's not an adventure game. :3

• Rain World is a DIFFICULT game. The game barely holds your hand, barely tells you what to do and there isn't a single reward in the game that halps you. Nearly nothing is directly said besides basic stuff. Not to menton there is only few entities that has dialogue. You are just an wild animal in the woods. No one is here to help and it's all up to you to figure out things and adapt to survive. Because it's an ecosystem simulator, there will be times where some situations will be legit unfair for you. This is intended. Rain World is an unfair game because your enemies / predators are just like you and have no respects. They will always try their best to kill you, unfair or not. They dont care! And this is where your adaptation and outsmarting skills will improve. Rain World has no reward. It only rewards you by making you smarter, as you die and die.

• So! Game tells you nothing. Everything kills you. You have no idea what to do. The game and its ecosystem does not care about you.

These lack of player focus and unfair situations can become very unpleasant to new players. Because Rain World really is not like other games! It's an harsh ecosystem simulator. When you play Rain World blindly for a while; you may get demotivated to continue because of having no idea where to go and what to do while being killed over and over again. Don't worry! This is LITERALLY the game itself. You are MEANT to be confused and lost. However, as you play, you will start to understand things slowly :)

And once you figure out stuff, I can not tell you how amazing it feels LMAO. YOU HAVE TO TRY IT YOURSELF.

Rain World is an UNFORFIVING game. It's hard. It's complex. But my god, IT IS THE MOIST FUN AND AWESOME AND INSANE GAME I HAVE EEVVEERR FUCKING PLAYED IN MY LIFE. I HAE 100+ HOURS AND I KEEP GOING. I WILL NEVER BE TIRED FROM THIS GAME. THERE IS ALWAYS MORE STUFF TO FIGURE OUT. ALWAYS TO MAKE FUN SPEEDRUNS.

Ohh also!!!

• By it's nature, Rain World is randomised! Every entity in the game has their own AI and behaviour. This makes the game so fucking amazing ant it makes the ecosystem VERY alive. Everything you see in the game, besides obvious scenes, is NOT scripted! You will see some creatures fall to their death, fail to fly, bonk their heads, kill each other and stuff! NOTHING is scripted! All creatures act as a real entity by their AI! This makes some unpredictable events that becomes frustrating but also so so SO fun hehe :)

Honestly I could write a book about Rain World. But that's all I can say now :) hope this motivates ya! The game is also on sale rn I think. Perfect time hehehe.

Even if it becomes too hard for you, don't worry! The experience is so worth it. Also I promise, you WILL understand everything by yourself,,, and be BETTER. I also shall mention that it's a LOONGGG game! Even LONGER when you get the Downporur DLC ! (INSANELY RECIMMENDED.)

HOPE THIS HELPPPSSS

ALSO AFSGKGQLHSHOA ITS OKAY <3 WE ALL SHY OUT AT TIMEESS

[creepercraftguy]

Pokemon Scarlet/Violet - Voice Actor Headcanons (Teal Mask and Indigo Disk Edition)

So, the version of this post I did for the main game turned out to be one of my all time most popular posts on this platform, and I'm honestly super happy about that. The majority of people seemed to really like the voices that I picked for each of the characters, and there were some fun discussions in the reblogs and comments.

So it was only a matter of time before I got around to doing the DLC characters, and now that Indigo Disc is finally out, better now than never. Pokemon obviously rarely has voice acting in the main series, so this is the next part of the series where I assign English VA's to each of the characters.

Before I get into this, there are a few points I need to reiterate, as I often do with these posts.

This is NOT CANON. These are HEADCANONS and are unofficial. It’s just a hypothetical situation. If the characters were voiced, this is who I imagine would voice them.

Every major character in the DLC is included here, so there are HEAVY SPOILERS for the game’s DLC storylines. DO NOT READ THIS POST IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED THE TEAL MASK OR INDIGO DISC OR DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED.

This VA Headcanons post is SPECIFICALLY for the characters from Pokemon ScarVi's DLC. If you want to see the characters from the main game, the post is here.

As was the case with Nemona and Penny, it's highly likely that the characters will get official English VA's in Pokemon Masters. Remember that this post was constructed prior to this.

So without further ado, I hope you enjoy my ideas. Or don’t. Your choice.

Kieran - JUSTIN BRINER

Also Voiced:

Deku/Izuku Midoriya (My Hero Academia)

Nico (Nanbaka)

Mikaela Hyakuya (Seraph of the End)

Carmine - ANNE YATCO

Also Voiced:

Nobara Kugisaki (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Raiden Shogun (Genshin Impact)

Lola Metrose (The Hidden Dungeon Only I Can Enter)

Briar - EMI LO

Also Voiced:

Ruan Mei (Honkai Star Rail)

Lucy (Cyberpunk Edgerunners)

Rena Ryuugu (Higurashi: When They Cry)

Perrin - ERICA LINDBECK

Also Voiced:

Futaba Sakura (Persona 5)

Kaori Miyazono (Your Lie In April)

Celica (Fire Emblem)

Cyrano - GABE KUNDA

Also Voiced:

Macaron (Hi-Fi Rush)

Rock Lock (My Hero Academia)

Shin Yasuda (Horimiya)

Crispin - RICCO FAJARDO

Also Voiced:

Lemillion/Mirio Togata (My Hero Academia)

Kotaro Tatsumi (Zombie Land Saga)

Itona Horibe (Assassination Classroom)

Amarys - KIRSTEN POTTER

Also Voiced:

Tae Takemi (Persona 5)

Hisame (Naruto)

Naomi Kimishima (Trauma Center)

Lacey - CHRISTINE CABANOS

Also Voiced:

Mako Mankanshoku (Kill La Kill)

Chiaki Nanami (Danganronpa)

Silica (Sword Art Online)

Drayton - ZENO ROBINSON

Also Voiced:

Junpei Iori (Persona 3 ReLoad)

Hawks (My Hero Academia)

Hunter (The Owl House)

Billy - JOSHUA WATERS

Also Voiced:

Kyler (Class of '09)

Inu-Oh (Inu-Oh)

The Quadruplets (Tribe Nine)

O'Nare - KIRSTEN DAY

Also Voiced:

Constance (Fire Emblem Three Houses/Three Hopes)

Skipper (Barbie)

Kibutsuji's Wife (Demon Slayer)

Snacksworth - MIKE POLLOCK

Also Voiced:

Dr. Eggman (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Adon (Berserk)

Professor Ochanomizu (Pluto)

[iantimony]

tuesday line go up (derogatory)

hello from the end of my workday. writing this on my office computer as i watch my simulation crash in real time in the background. convergence line go up :(

listening: astonishing legends the body on the moor part 1, for some reason astonishing legends is such good Cleaning And Organizing noise to my brain. i've raised my eyebrow at some of their conclusions sometimes but i love a good unsolved mystery that doesn't focus on true crime what i can say

more 00s, just whatever shit the spotify algorithm spits out basically..."hard and heavy headbanging tuesday afternoon". i think for brevity i am going to focus on posting only the things that stuck out to me or are ear worms at the moment, which for this week is miss murder by afi, the kill by 30 seconds to mars, and out of control by hoobastank, especially the line in the latter after the chorus that goes 'and i may never know the answer to this endless mystery' that for some reason tickles my brain.

reading: Bring Back Those Pumped Italian Sodas (Anna Hezel): i LOVE italian sodas. the candy shop on main street near me does italian sodas and it is my favorite little treat to do a hot girl walk downtown and get a little bevvy to come with me. they whip so hard. bring them back everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!

elitism is the enemy of the people (Mina Le) and the linked The machine in the garden. (Emily Sundberg) ... discourse(tm) about What Substack Is For, which means nothing to me as a non-substack user. i use a rss reader to follow a few specific substacks but i do not use the platform even a little bit. sundberg seems to disparage the list format (shoutout to miss deb perelmen who i saw in there as an example of things that are pushed on the platform now) (deb's newsletter is one of the ones i follow with my rss feed lol) slash the concept of "list of content I’m consuming" which. looks at my weekly roundup posts. lol. i do understand to an extent, though - does my weekly roundup post make me a Writer(tm)?? i would kinda agree that no not really.

this zine that i think i reblogged yesterday is very cute.

watching: i saw the new alien movie with a friend! it was really good, i enjoyed it, i did look up the jumpscares beforehand because i do not do well with those in theaters especially the big imax ones, but it ended up not being necessary - the local theater here has no imax or any of the big surround sound gimmick things, which i actually prefer, and it also means the tickets were dirt cheap. 10/10 experience. the movie itself was fun, the correct amount of peen/vag imagery that one would expect from an alien movie. important to note that the dehumanization of an android character (who is also the only black character and strongly autism coded) is a big plot thing, it is not Good that he is treated that way and that is also a plot thing but it is important to know going in so it's not a surprise (thanks to someone in a server i'm in for pointing that out, i didn't clock it as being potentially triggering when i saw it but i was like ohh yeah that does make sense to warn people about). really good cast and plot overall, there was only like one point where i was like "whyyy nooo that makes no sense, why would you do that" (without too much spoiling, the gravity turns on and off in a portion and they were just. zooming up an elevator shaft using the lack of gravity. like why would you not be staying near the ladder. you KNOW it's going to turn off at some random point. anyways), but in general the decisions the characters made were really reasonable which made it very fun to watch the consequences of like, yeah, that is also the choice i would have made, shit. the ending made me go EUGH!! in a good way. lots of good easter eggs that i probably missed some of. made me weirdly nostalgic for my dad because when i was growing up he had a life-size hyper-realistic rubber facehugger model. he used to mime getting attacked by it. my mom hated that fucking thing. it must have gotten thrown out or given away at some point. anyways, as the kids would say: it's kino

thank u celestialtourguide for ur dropout login xoxo, i have been watching a lot of 'make some noise'. i love how sometimes you can hear the crew laughing in the background.

youtubesphere:

jimmy robins: The Fallout of Watcher's Betrayal, what sparked me looking more at dropout. also found out from the comments section that sam reich is son of robert reich ??? wild

finished the george r r martin problem. basically: yeagh

dangelo wallace: not gonna link em all but his videos on chapell roan, katy perry, blake lively, and starbucks. pop culture updates that mean nothing to me. good background noise tho

mina le: underconsumption-core, travel outfits, and Paul Mescal’s shorts, the luxury of privacy & the celebrity vs. influencer paradox. my boyfriend is a proponent of the tiny inseam shorts and i wholly encourage it. more of that, please, from everyone.

made in the moment: My Crafty Boston Apartment Tour. as someone who is also just moved into my own apartment alone for the first time and is in the process of making the space feel like mine, this hits interestingly.

playing: dnd as normal. i finally got to go mask-off, was replaced by a doppleganger like six months ago and finally got to pop off and kill some guys and beat the shit out of my friends lol >:b i have also moved the game that i run to biweekly instead of weekly. i just have too much fucking things happening and dm burnout real.

making: evil eye coasters! these made me very nervous because of how streaky the underglaze is! so i did the tedious task of re-coloring in around my sgraffito lines of my [redacted] coasters. clear coated them and crossing my fingers. these coasters are also too thin, two of them are too warped to use as coasters so ill have to figure out what to do with them. maybe drilling a hole (carefully...) so i can hang them up somewhere? the [redacted] coasters are like twice the thickness so i don't think they'll be warped as bad thankfully.

i also. made. mesopotamian foot bowl :) i did not have a reference image at the time because that happened to be when the t mobile towers went down for a few hours last saturday so i kinda just freeballed it but he looks. so silly i love him. i think im gonna have to modify him, i was chatting with the studio owner about it and she was like "if you threw that bowl on a wheel you should hollow the legs out, wheel pottery twists slightly as it dries and that plus the drying rates being different will make them just pop right off", which, i can always glue them back on! but i should give him the best odds possible. bonus lil tushy

i made a BIG BOWL !! it's not really clear from the image but it's the most clay i've ever thrown at once, i think it's like. 2.5 lb?? i didn't actually weigh it first oops i should weigh it. but it's like a foot across at the top. i put it on little ball feet to use as some sort of display bowl i think.

and there's one more bowl that is really unremarkable so no picture for now.

fiber art: made a fucking. magic the gathering card cozy for a friend that my local mtg group is putting together a care package for. it's so fucking stupid i love it. not gonna post a pic of the front, it's just a dark red border to hold the card in. i might outline the swamp symbol with matching embroidery floss (or maybe navy??) to make it pop more, might also sew a small square of fabric on the inside to hide the loose ends. colors were chosen to match his main commander which is braids

eating: FINALLY finished the gyudon. um . didn't cook many more recipes. i was going to do one pot chicken meatballs with greens and deb smittenkitchen's corn bacon and parmesan pasta last night but i spent two hours wandering walmart like my ancestors wandered the desert and came home and just had leftovers lol. the cooking will commence......today after i post this and go home.

misc: the midwest is hot this week! fml! on the plus side i don't think my average energy bill in my new place will be worse than my old one despite the worse insulation based on the mid-cycle energy report email i got, on the minus side now i am not splitting that cost so technically it feels more expensive :( thankfully i have finally been finishing the process of closing my dad's accounts so i will have a little padding in my bank account, plus i think i am supposed to get the fellowship i won deposited soon?? shrug. i booked some flights using credit card points that in retrospect i should have booked with Money because of that fellowship but oh well. i am still in the Everything Is So Expensive stage of moving as i finish getting furniture and miscellaneous home goods, hence the two hour walmart wander yesterday. i still need a couch. i think i am getting a frat house walmart futon for like $150 just because it's space efficient and won't break the bank and will be easy to sell when i move out. i should probably order that before i go visit home for 3 weeks ...... anyways. that's this tuesdaypost done and dusted.

[chuluoyi]

𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

back to pinned » about the host

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖

not spoilers-free. contains sfw and nsfw content—so pick your poison. i’m not your police and therefore, not responsible for what you see. read warnings !

this is also my personal blog in which i post my thoughts and random posts so don't expect it to be fully about fics. there are tags for you to block if necessary

𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄

of basic dni criteria (racist, sexist, homophobic, etc.)

porn link posters

subposting often and disguising it as “shitposts” or “opinions”

haters of my works/opinions

against fics basing off manhwas/tv shows

for subposting: i do not subpost. but i’m also no pushover. if you dare to subpost about me first then i won’t hesitate to respond it so don’t you dare to play victim—you started it

this is my safe space and also intended for those who genuinely want to have fun too, so if you intend to spoil it, please just reflect hard on yourself and begone for both our sakes

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

please be respectful. i don’t appreciate swear words being used in asks sent to me (or targeted to my anons). anything remotely close to unpleasantries will go straight to trash bin on sight

do not rant about or bring discourse into my askbox

do not spam like or i’ll block you. tumblr will think i have a bot and shadowbans me. if you want to show support, please reblog instead. rule of thumb: mass like + mass reblog = OK // mass like = NO // mass reblog = OK

do not send questions about other writers to my askbox. if you want to clarify or bring something to my attention, then ask it in my dms or off-anon. but if your intent is to start discourse between me and other writers, then do your worst because i won’t entertain you

i put reblogs, asks and posts on queue, so if i haven’t replied your asks or messages and you see me reblogging or posting answers, that’s because they've been queued—i’m not ignoring you! i will get back to you asap! and my askbox has like 100+ messages, so it’s taking me a while to answer them too

you can talk to me outside my fics! you can randomly drop by my askbox but no trauma dumping (because i'm not a professional) and be nice!

do not ask me to become mutuals. i follow on my own accord. we can always be friends even if we are not though!

𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

i write female reader only, for: ⟡ jujutsu kaisen: gojo, megumi, nanami ⟡ love & deepspace: sylus, zayne, xavier

do not rush me to write. i’m an adult with 8-5 office job. there’s a lot going on in my life and writing is just something i do as a hobby and for free. i can write/post as soon as the next day, next month, or never

i mainly write fluff, angst, crack and occasionally, smut i don’t write: bimbo reader/dumbification, degradation, hate sex, period sex, poly, dark content (rape, incest, stepcest, non/dubcon, etc), vulgar kinks (vomit, scat, piss, sex toys, etc)

please do not ask me to write specific traits/attributes (e.g skin tone/weapon/cursed technique) for the reader and by default, she is always described as smaller/shorter than the characters i'm writing. if you have problem with this, then kindly block me and move on—any preaching/hate comments will be blocked immediately!

do not use my headers, headcanons, gifs, plagiarize my fics for your blog/send it to another blog to write it. i will call you out for plagiarism—and it’s not going to end pretty, so just don’t

i do not allow translations or reposts in other platforms such as wattpad or tiktok. should i ever catch you, i’ll call you out as well

i have no qualms with aging up so if you’re a bigot who can't separate fiction and reality then my blog isn’t for you. do not interact or just block me, and do not bring discourse about this to my askbox. you’ll get ignored, blocked and reported

𝐁𝐋𝐎��𝐊𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

porn links poster. say what you want, there’s no justification for it—porn links are not writings!

spam liking without reblogging. there’s no reason for you to mass like my posts if you’re just mindlessly liking it. please at least reblog instead to show support

leaving rude comments. i don't tolerate rudeness in my blog

plagiarists. pretty self-explanatory, these shits must be driven out of here

subposting often. mutuals or not, i’m blocking you. vaguely spreading hate about me/other creators in the form of “rambles” or “shitposts” just because you don’t like someone is peak children behavior. i don’t want that in my dash!

a bigot, problematic individual, or instigating discourses. i neither have the time to deal with these shits nor do i want to partake in them, so goodbye. and if you’re affiliated with them, i’ll block you too

making me uncomfortable. i’m curating my own experience too here so if i see you posting or venting things i don’t want to see in my dash, i’m going to block you—this also applies to mutuals. no hard feelings, i just want to keep my peace

for mutuals: if you want to break the mutual, feel free to do so—but please hard-block so i won’t refollow you by accident

i believe this goes without saying, but if you disagree with any of my rules above, then my blog is obviously not for you

thank you for those who have made it this far! i don't mean to sound harsh — i'm just establishing boundaries. if you have any further questions or unsure about certain topics i can write, feel free to send me an ask, i promise i don't bite :)

[familyabolisher]

have you ever talked about the 'spoiler' in fiction and your thoughts about it? i remember you wrote something in connection to nabokov's 'you can only reread a novel' but I fear i may be mistaken (if so, please ignore. have a great day!)

I know the post you mean but I can't find it :( Tumblr's search function stays winning, I guess. To do a brief rundown on my position on 'spoilers' and specifically their relationship to critical work:

I don't have an especially strong position on like, avoiding vs not avoiding spoilers and how conscientious we should be about it in the sorts of environments where avoidance is possible. I try to tag for spoilers when I think it's appropriate; I'm personally not that bothered by spoilers, but like, I'm not mad at people who are. Whilst I think that knowing the 'twists' in a narrative ahead of time can be a fun way of noticing how they're set up (I love to google the plots of things I'm reading/watching so I can pay more attention to narrative construction and less to actually following the plot lmfao), I don't think you can just dismiss out of pocket the value of the emotional reaction that first meeting with a 'twist' can bring + how a reliance on that response can sometimes carry a narrative in ways that aren't necessarily weak or floundering. Some genres rely more on a lack of 'spoilers' than others; a narrative which relies heavily on hermeneutic codes, such as the murder mystery narrative, locates success in a particular balance of concealing and revealing information to the end of audience satisfaction that 'spoilers' can tamper with, sometimes unfairly. That said, when I'm writing critical essays on an external platform (ie. like, writing a Substack essay rather than doing a longform post on here) where a reader's access to it is wholly at their own discretion, I'm not going to be playing the 'writing about this work without giving away a spoiler' game, and I think doing so (even in reviews…..tbh……) is critically lazy; or, more charitably, at least inefficient.

What I mean to express is my frustration with how this excoriation of the "spoiler" (and specifically the placing of an onus on the audience to not "spoil" a work for others) places severe limitations on the scope and capability of the pop critical sphere. A lot of pieces on popular culture will try to posit a critical reading of a work without delving into "spoiler" territory; as such, they'll severely limit the terrain they can actually work on. (A Substack essay I wrote on Severance a while back responded to a Severance piece that suffered from this issue; the piece was bad for lots of reasons lol but one of them was that it couldn't actually delve into its topic with any depth or nuance because the writer couldn't write about any major plot beats not established in the premise or like, the first episode.)

Like, a text isn’t a linear body where any point that you might choose to talk about is solely accountable to the narrative events that have come before it and bears no relation to those that will come after; a text is more like a set of moving parts which all work in relation to one another to construct a cohesive whole. The very process of constructing a narrative relies on 1. the existence of an audience who only hold knowledge of the events that have happened so far up to and including whatever point they’re at in the text, and 2. the notion of all parts of the narrative exerting a force on all other parts of the narrative, of the ‘early’ sections of a narrative being, in a sense, ‘aware’ of their later sections; of the later events shaping the earlier just as much as the earlier shape the later. Obviously it’s possible and valuable to talk in-depth about an unfinished text; cf. for example, ongoing book series, TV series, similar such serialisations where the critic does not have a closed, completed narrative in front of them; but a) often those serialised works will be broken down into smaller units with internal narrative cohesion (one series of a TV show, one book in a series) wherein the criticism emerges from balancing out the tension between negotiating that internal cohesion and speculating on where the open-ended questions posed by the unit might lead, and b) this is fundamentally a different process to just … pointing to the vague opening ‘themes’ of a piece and failing to elaborate in any way because to do so would be ‘spoilers.’

The issue I’m articulating is mostly one wherein this particular form of pop criticism begins to perform the function of advertising before it engages its readership enough to start an actual process of interrogation and evaluation around the work in question. The attempt to talk about something whilst only making reference to the bare bones of its plot + avoiding the major narrative 'twists' severely constricts what you can talk about; it's just not good criticism, and I think this overfocus on never 'spoiling' something for others rather than expecting people to develop some discretion about what secondary material they read creates this impetus to essentially sell something to your audience rather than just … talk about it as a holistic piece. It does a disservice to the work in question and it does a disservice to your own critical faculties, lol?

I don't know how much this matters in the grand scheme of things, when critical practice is becoming a little more dispersed; like, I'm thinking of a phenomenon specific to The Thinkpiece hosted by The (Relatively) Prestigious Platform, but criticism is happening on like, Substack and Goodreads and Tumblr and everywhere else, such that it's easily possible to seek out this actually penetrative analysis should you want to. I am mostly just like, having an old man yells at cloud moment about it.

Also to be clear I'm not like positing a Radical New Position on critical practice here or claiming that other forms of critical practice (such as like, a lit paper) are free of their own problematic aspects; it's really just explaining a personal irritation lmao

[iknowyouthinkimbulletproof]

Jealousy vs Anger- Calum Hood

another 5sos fic! Calum Hood x y/n. Y/n’s gender is not specified for this fic, my apologies to anyone it might upset, but you can always request. Feel free to correct any mistakes! also i originally wrote this about someone who i no longer support. since then i have taken it off my tumblr, i edited today so it doesn’t go to waste. Enjoy?

(mentions of parenthood. y/c/n = your child's name)

My work is not to be copied, "shared", translated, or posted on any platform without my permission)

Not my GIF!

Calum knew he had no reason to be jealous, he already knew how you felt about him. He knew you loved him, so why did he feel so angry and upset? Maybe it was because of the bartender who kept turning his head every now and then to take a peek at you or maybe it’s because you were mad at him and you were dancing with Sierra instead. Either way, if he could turn green, he would. It was supposed to be a nice night out celebrating your birthday, but instead you and your husband were in two different parts of the club, Calum being in VIP.

He knew it was his fault. Why you were mad was simple. Calum had lost your 2 year old child at the petting zoo after swearing to you that he wouldn’t lose them. It's not that you didn’t trust your husband, but it’s happened many times before and not everyone in this world who finds a lost child is gonna turn them in. Cal knew how anxious you got when it came to y/c/n, but he truly didn’t realize that they had slipped out of the stroller and was walking around. He had just turned around to pay for the giraffe stuffed animal y/c/n had picked and they walked away to go look at the other toys. Calum being himself had gotten the best stroller available for y/c/n, but unfortunately that meant they were hard to see under the hood, which happened to be up because the sun was up and scorching that afternoon. Though the moment he realized they weren’t in the stroller, he had every employee looking for them. He also texted you and left a voicemail, but you didn’t see them as you were in an important meeting.Thankfully y/c/n had just climbed into a giant pile of teddy bears to take a nap. Their explainiton being “bed, nap” while crying as they saw the look of fear on their father’s face. Which made some sort of sense since their bed was full of stuffies because your husband never misses the chance to spoil them.

It’s been a week since then and Calum had been apologizing since the moment you saw his text and called. You were furious and barely talked to him for the week. Now y/c/n was at home with Mali, who insisted on babysitting because “none of your friends should miss your birthday”. So here you were in a club, when all you wanted was to be at home wrapped up in a big blanket with Calum and y/c/n. While you had the right to be mad, you knew you were taking it to the extreme by basically ignoring him all week, but you are just too stubborn to apologize to him. The anger of the situation had disappeared yesterday, but you kinda wanted to turn the situation positive and you knew the only way you would actually talk to Cal was by being drunk leading to you inviting your friends out for some club fun. You were completely drunk at this point, so the goal of ‘talking’ to him was gone, the anger came back and you wanted to yell at him, but even drunk y/n never wanted to cause marital issues.

You could feel Calum’s eyes on you and you just continued to dance, occasionally getting a drink from the bartender who never failed to flirt with you, no matter how many times he saw Calum or the giant rock on your finger. After Cal saw you twerking on Sierra, he decided it was the last straw. You’ve tried to make him jealous before, but no matter how hard you tried, you never got physical in fear of losing him.

He got up and made his way out of the VIP section and towards your friend group on the dance floor. Sierra, who sat out for drinks tonight, saw him and smiled at him understandingly. She understood both sides of the story, especially your anxiety. Once he made his way towards the both of you, you just smiled at him.

“CALUM!” you shouted over the music, loud enough to turn some heads. His face contorted into a worried face, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen you this drunk before. Apparently the drink you had about 5 minutes ago just hit cause now you could barely stand. After a silent agreement between them, Sierra tosses your arm onto his shoulder before putting your other over hers. Together they got you into the car and with Sierra promising she would take care of the rest of the group, Calum had begun the journey home.

Walking through the door, you were clearly sobering up a little. Little being the key word, walking past Mali who had fallen asleep on the couch with y/c/n, you and Calum made it into your shared bedroom. Knowing you hated waking up smelling like sweat and alcohol, your husband set up a bath.

After getting you bathed and dressed into pajamas, Calum and you lied in bed. Neither of you were planning on moving, but neither were you planning on sleeping. The tension of your anger and Calum’s jealousy, keeping both of you awake. Though it wasn’t as late as it should’ve been after you hung out with friends, you both had meetings tomorrow. Your husband was well aware of this, so he tried his luck with words. Sliding towards you more and resting your head on his shoulder, he begins what he hopes will be a peaceful conversation between spouses.

“Are you still mad at me?” Just like that, all your anger had disappeared. You wanted to be mad, but hearing his voice full of hope had almost completely sobered you up. Leaving you to have this conversation fully aware of the words that’ll escape your mouth.

“No.” It was a simple statement, you weren’t one to try to confront conflict.

“I’m sorry, I ordered a smaller stroller...with a window on the hood.” he states.

“Thank you. I'm sorry too, I should've been with you tonight, not Sierra.” you whisper.

“You should’ve spent the night however you wanted y/n/n.” Calum was never one to try to control you.

“Even if it meant flirting with the bartender?” the question slips past your lips while you look up at him, the rest of the alcohol still clearly in your system. His face falls from a focused one, into one of pain. Tilting his head to look at you, Calum can see the slight rise of your lips.

“Maybe that shouldn’t have been on your list, but if that's what you want, i guess.” he’s clearly annoyed.

“I’m joking Cal...Although he was kinda cute.” A small screech leaves your lips as Calum rolls over, now in between your legs, resting his head on your chest. Now he was the one looking up at you.

“You said last time that he looked like the stalker from ‘You’!” his face still clearly displaying annoyance.

“That’s hot.” you say with playful sarcasm. That never fails to earn a laugh from Calum.

“I love you y/n.” Not once in all of your years together have you doubted the truthfulness behind those words, why start now?

“I love you too, Cal.” you say the tiredness clearly hitting you both now. Slowly falling asleep in the arms of the love of your, well second love of your life.

“ but if you ever lose y/c/n again, i will file for a divorce.” letting out half a joke half a threat, you finally close your eyes, even half asleep you still manage to make the both of you laugh.

taglist: @suchalonelysunflower @calpalirwin

[kageruna]

☆.｡.:* Kageyama, Sugawara, Kuroo, and Bokuto with a clingy and affectionate s/o .｡.:*☆

Warnings: None!

Genre: Fluff

Reader: Gender neutral

A/n: This is my first post that’s like this so sorry if this turns out bad! I’m still new to the writing platform so I hope I’ll be able to learn about it more the more I’m here! There is a cursed amount of pleading emojis and i can already tell that that’s gonna be a theme in my fics so sorry in advance if emojis make you frustrated or uncomfortable <3

Kageyama Tobio

➷ is a very flustered bb boy!!!

➷ at first he doesn’t know what to do and just freezes and shoves you off of him without thinking it through (he quickly regrets it but he freezes even further and doesn’t know what to do ksjdnfi)

➷ you might be a little bit shocked and bummed out and it’s ok to feel that way!!! you want attention from your gorgeous boyfriend after all 😤

➷ however he’s also trying his best!!! he hasn’t had this much physical affection before so it’ll take some getting used to!! he’ll try extremely hard to overcome it soon and give you the love and attention you deserve tho!! awwww what a sweet bb

➷ he’ll DEFINITELY still be prickly sometimes even later on into the relationship and not be 100% comfortable unless you’ve been in the relationship for a long time

➷ he still gives you the hugs and cuddles and lets you be clingy but especially if it’s in public, he won’t immediately melt into your embrace or indulge you 100% :(

➷ he’ll let you cling onto his arm whenever you guys are walking around or doing anything together but he’s desperately trying to hide his embarrassment with a scowl and bright red cheeks and ears 🥺🥺🥺

➷ he’ll give you little hugs of reassurances and maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll get little kisses on the head in public but he’ll still be extremely flushed 😭😭

➷ he’s even more open in private tho 🥺

➷ he’ll rather die than have his teammates see him being extremely mushy and lovey-dovey with you so he’ll save those really cute moments for when you guys are together alone <3

➷ further into the relationship he’ll open up and will be a lot more comfortable with you!! he’ll be less reserved and indulge you even more in public ❤️

➷ when he gets more comfortable in the relationship, he’ll even start being clingy too and it’s the most adorable thing ever because even though he still wants to cuddle or hug you spontaneously he’ll be quiet about it and have the cutest little blush on his face and a little pout 🥺

➷ it’ll be really really obvious that he wants attention even if he’s trying to be secretive about it so please indulge him 

➷ he wants little kithes and huggies too 😤😤

➷ you guys are such a cute couple, people either look at you while cooing or with a look of exasperation because it’s THAT obvious that you guys are madly in love with each other <333

Sugawara Koushi

➷ he will be clingy RIGHT BACK AT YOU

➷ even if you guys are just starting your relationship, if you’re already so comfortable with him and are able to be your true clingy self with him then he’s totally gonna be his own clingy self too because the openness makes him so extremely happy!!

➷ it reassures him that you really do want to be with him and are willing to be vulnerable around him awwwwww 🥺

➷ once you guys are hugging or cuddling, it’s over. you guys will be stuck like glue until you physically can’t be with each other anymore KSJFIU

➷ he pouts when you guys have to stop being with each other 😭

➷ if he could, he would just hug you for all of eternity

➷ he loves you THAT much

➷ he LOVES pda as well 🥺

➷ he won’t care if he’s inside his room, in the middle of a crowded area, in school, wherever

➷ he can and WILL hug you and be just as clingy as you with him

➷ honestly a match made in heaven

➷ even later on in the relationship, you guys never change

➷ you both will still be just as clingy as the beginning of it and it’s honestly so cute 🥺🥺

➷ of course, this is suga though so he’s gonna be chaotic at some points

➷ he’ll tickle you, blow raspberries onto your skin, shift around a lot just to slightly annoy you, and other things that that playful brain of his thinks up of

➷ sometimes you just want to cuddle without any distraction but lo and behold, he’s gonna still tease you

➷ however, if you genuinely need a cuddle session without any distractions, he’ll totally give you the cuddle session you want

➷ because he’s such a tease sometimes, you decide to get your own revenge sometimes >:)

➷ you’ll act all innocent and he’ll come to you wanting hugs and cuddles but at the last possible second, you’ll move out of the way so that he stumbles into the couch or sofa or wherever you have your cuddle session

➷ his reaction is priceless

➷ anyways you guys are INSEPARABLE when you start hugging and cuddling and honestly people look at you guys with such genuine envy in their eyes because they wish they could be in such a cute relationship like yours 😌

Kuroo Tetsurou

➷ he teases you SO MUCH

➷ it’s honestly insufferable at some points KSJDNFI

➷ like you just want to be clingy and affectionate with your boyfriend that’s IT!! 😤😤😤 why can’t you just hug him peacefully like you want to?? 😭😭

➷ even with all of the teasing tho, he loves it 🥺🥺

➷ in public you’ll always be really close to him no matter what and even though he teases you for “not wanting to get lost and needing a guardian with you” and other bs like that, he has such a sappy smile on his face he’s barely older or even YOUNGER than you in the first place stop acting like as if your s/o is a child kuroo 😡

➷ yes he might tease you like there’s no tomorrow but he secretly enjoys how clingy you are

➷ you notice and are fully aware of it and try SO HARD for him to admit it but his teasing self just simply can not

➷ he will though when you’re having a really slow day and are actually cuddling without him being annoying teasing

➷ those moments make you SWOON oh my god 😩

➷ he also becomes super affectionate and it’s the CUTEST THING EVER

➷ you cup each other’s face and give each other little kisses all over and hug each other until you have to let go 🥺🥺🥺

➷ sometimes he even becomes the clingier one and you pull away from him and tease him back just to get back at him for all he’s done to you 😈

➷ he’ll pout and beg you until you give. he will literally NOT stop begging until he gets what he wants he’s so spoiled

➷ one time you tried to resist for 30 minutes but LITERALLY THE WHOLE 30 MINUTES HE WAS WHINING FOR YOU TO COME BACK AND CUDDLE WITH HIM

➷ he’s so whiny and spoiled when he gets like that but he’s your whiny and spoiled baby ❤️

➷ people always laugh because of your relationship but they all know that it’s all sickly lovey-dovey friendly banter between you guys <333 they WISH they can have a relationship as fun and loving as yours 😼

Bokuto Koutarou

➷ HE ADORES IT

➷ god he LOVES how clingy you are

➷ he will be TWICE as clingy as you no joke

➷ usually it’s the other party needing you to get off of them but with Bokuto, it’s the other way around 

➷ he’s so so happy that you’re just as physically affectionate and that you want to be with him just as much as he wants to be with you 🥺🥺🥺

➷ he almost never gets into emo modes when you’re with him 

➷ i mean why would he go emo if the literal light of his life is right there next to him???

➷ exactly

➷ like suga, he does NOT care where you guys are. you both will be extremely clingy and affectionate wherever with little to no regard of the people around you guys

➷ he wants you to know that you’re his number 1 so he’ll keep his attention on you all the time 😭🥺

➷ of course you do the same for him because he’s literally the sweetest person you’ll ever meet how would you NOT always keep your attention on him??

➷ you guys also peck each other’s lips whenever you meet it’s SO CUTE

➷ your cuddle sessions are the sweetest thing ever oh my GOD my heart is literally hurting so much and i’m almost tearing up i want to cuddle with him SO BADLY 🥺

➷ he has the most secure, loving arms and when he wraps them around you with all the love he can possibly give, you practically melt

➷ he basically does the same whenever you wrap your arms around him too 🥺🥺 he’ll literally be smiling like such a dork you can only watch in complete awe at this beautiful man

➷ all of that love is just for you and you alone and you don’t know just how lucky you got

➷ and he’s the exact same with you

➷ everyone wishes for the type of relationship you have with bokuto <333 it’s literally perfect, you guys love each other so much words can not even describe it ❤️

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading ♡

[emihkka]

Author Essay for Direct My Wrath

Hi everyone! 

This is Emi. It’s lovely to see you all, if you are here from my Fanfic “Direct My Wrath” in FFNet or AOE3, welcome! This is going to be A LONG essay. There will be behind the scenes information, such as: How I structured the story, how I work on the story, research that goes into it and much more. I will also be addressing a particular reviewer from FFNet here as well, so strap in. It’s going to be a ride. 

For those who do not know me, I am Emi (Emihkka or Emikka depending on the platform) and I have been a silent shadow reader in the SasuHina fandom for years. Recently, with the encouragement of a really good friend, I emerged from the shadows and began to take an active participation role within it. With their encouragement I also decided to publish my very first fanfic; “Direct My Wrath.” You can find it in FFNet and AO3. In order to provide context without spoiling everything I will be linking to the pertinent chapters that I will be grabbing quotes from so that you can keep track with me. 

Now, this story has been rattling in my brain along with others for a very long time, and I prepared for a few months prior to posting the story. A great deal of research went into it. This is a Sasu/Hina/Ita fanfic, without a distinct pairing as of yet. I originally had intended for it to be SasuHina, but as the story progressed I began to lean towards ItaHina, however, at this point I do not see a pairing AT ALL for it. (Hate me for it all you want, but there is an explanation for this). 

The story is set in a made up town in Japan, I have not named the town as of yet and it has not been mentioned in the fic, but for the sake of clarity and for the math that will happen in the future let us pretend this is modern day Japan. I used the year of 2022 as the timeline setting so that I could utilize the school calendar to orient myself as far as when things were happening within the story. First I researched the different Holidays and School related dates in Japan for 2022 as you can see below:

Then I decided on relationships. This screenshot is redacted because I am planning on releasing the information later on for fun:

After I had a vague idea of who was who I decided on the chapter titles:

From there, I briefly charted where in the timeline each chapter would be so that I could appropriately decide what went down each chapter: 

After I had figured out where in the timeline each chapter fit, I began jotting down notes based on the chapter title and the chronological location of said title, some gave me little direction (Such as Chapter 3 pictured below) and some gave me lots of direction (Such as chapter 10 also pictured below):

From there once I had sufficiently mapped out a few chapters to guide my writing, I began actually writing. Some chapter names changed along the way, some were re-arranged in the timeline and some changed direction all together, as the story began to take on a life of its own. One of the advantages I found doing it this way was that I was able to write out of order, so I could write when inspiration struck based on what I wanted that chapter to be about and how I wanted it to tie to the rest of the story. I wrote for about 2 months before the first chapter was ever posted, so I had plenty of time to go back and rearrange. My beta readers at the time (I love you guys) can tell you that the chapters I originally had and the ones that are posted are quite different. This means that some chapters are written right now (14, 16 and 18 for example) while others I am still working on (Working on 11 right now). I also only have notes up to chapter 26, but it is not the ending, I just am not yet sure where the story will go when I get to that point. This has allowed me immense liberty with changing things, especially when I feel like more explanation or exposition is needed based on the reviews left behind. This also helped because some chapters required a decent amount of research, specially when I talk about things that are technical such as Kyudo, many chapters are littered with translation notes, links and other information that I need to properly depict what I am talking about, even videos so that I can study the movements and accurately represent them in the writing (Like how to traditionally open fusuma and shoji). A simple example is depicted below:

I spoke of Ikebana in that chapter, and while my roommate is Japanese he doesn’t know heads from tails when it comes to flower arrangement. I also engaged in conversation with his mom, grandmother and aunts when I encountered things I didn’t quite understand so that I could write about the culture respectfully. 

I prepared floor plans for the main houses I describe (I will post those in due time) so that I could be consistent in my writing, especially when I knew the house would come up more than once in the story. 

Now, you must be thinking: “Wow, that is A LOT of research for a fanfic, but why are you telling us this?” 

The answer is both simple and complicated. Chapter 8 of the fanfic dealt with some very sensitive topics, such as abuse, neglect and assault both physical and sexual. Please read at your own discretion. I agonized over the chapter, I agonized over the verbiage used in particular because I wanted to depict an abusive situation, a NON-consensual abusive situation, but somewhere I lost my audience. The reactions to the chapter were incredibly divisive and not at all what I expected. So in an attempt to calm the ire of the readers I attached a very succinct author’s note at the start of Chapter 9. However this was not enough to satisfy them, so I then wrote a much more extensive Author’s Note which I posted individually so that people who wanted to read it could and it would not interrupt the experience of those who were there for the story. I thought at the time that I sufficiently got my point across and was delighted to see reviews come in that pertained to the actual chapter as opposed to the author’s note itself. That was until the reviews I will be discussing came in. 

Those who know me, know that I am a transparent person, and while I do not like calling people out publicly when its not needed I sadly feel like it is right now, but before I get into the reason why I ended up writing an essay due to those reviews I want to set the stage for you with some math and geographical ideas. 

I mentioned previously that this story is set in Japan in an imaginary town. But I took inspiration from real places to help me when doing research. I based the “town” on Hiroo, Azabu, Shoto, Akasaka, and Takanawadai, which are affluent areas in Tokyo. A common feature is that they are up on the hills, so they are spacious and have great views. Naturally the houses are very expensive. They average between $9,000 to $12,000 per square meter, for reference the Uchiha couples house is measured in Tatami, which is roughly 1.62 square meters. Itachi’s house is measured the same way. Since I do have a layout of his already done I can tell you that his home is roughly 101 tatami mats, not counting the engawa and the garden (which would add to the value), please see the math below for the size and price of Itachi’s house based on today’s value per square meter in in Azabu ( ¥1,334,299 ($9,729.96) per square meter)

101 Tatami x 1.62m2 = 163.62m2

 ¥1,334,299 ($9,729.96) x 163.62m2 =  ¥218,318,002.38 or $8,884,207.21

Please note that the Yen to USD conversion rate might change based on the current currency market and these are the conversion rates as of 7/12/2022. 

For the place where Hinata ended up living, I based it off of Kabukicho, which is the red-light district in Shinjuku Japan. Right now you can rent an apartment nearby (1 bedroom) for roughly ¥185,000 or $1349.06 based on the floor plan I have given Hinata for her apartment at the time. You can find cheaper ones but they are literally 16m2. 

Now the minimum wage in Kabukicho fluctuates but according to one of my friends who lives there he has seen jobs with as little as ¥1000 per hour or $7.29. With that being said, let’s say Hinata made a little more, closer to ¥1300 ($9.48) per hour, she works 40 hour long weeks as she is a full time employee and does bring some tips home. Based on her income alone though, Hinata is making ¥208,000 ($1516.78) a month before taxes and before her tips. Due to her income she would fall under the 10% tax bracket, so 10% of her take home is taxed away (about ¥20,800 or $151.68) leaving her with  ¥187,200 ($1365.10). Thankfully she makes tips so lets say that gives her enough to pay for utilities, keep them clothed and with the help of food pantries and other services she manages to keep them fed (This is spoiler territory, so forgive me). Childcare is at minimum  ¥20,000 ($145.84) a month, but we knew she had been fortunate as she had Suigetsu and Jugo to help. So let’s assume she paid with her tips and she only paid ¥15,000 ($109.38). I have not yet decided if the apartment included utilities in rent like most other Japanese apartments do, but it honestly would not make that much of a difference. For a visual, see Hinata’s budget below:

Monthly income:  ¥187,200 ($1365.10) (After taxes, excluding tips). 

Rent: ¥185,000 ($1349.06)

Child Care:¥15,000 ($109.38)

Total expenses: ¥200,000

Let that sink in. Hinata is in the Red every month, without accounting for food or clothing. Japan does not have a tipping culture, but based on where she works I was willing to suspend disbelief and say she was getting tips that were big enough to help her make up the difference and have enough to provide food and clothing.  When I had originally done her math I had lowered her rent so that her job would make her enough money to provide without the need for tips, but for the sake of this essay I used real pricing in real estate listings in the area for an apartment that vaguely resembles the one I wrote her in.

Believe it or not, social services are not as easy to access in Japan as you may think them to be, but that would be a whole other essay, there is only one women’s shelter in Tokyo and from what friends have told me it is quite difficult to get in.

All the math and fun bits are over. You are probably wondering why I bored you with that information and I promise it is pertinent, but I just wanted to illustrate the level of research I went through while making the choices I made while writing this story. 

Now, Alquiem, I did this primarily to illustrate to you why I made the choices I made. But I also want to take the time to respond to the reviews you left me so that I may clarify again some points you may have missed in my notes. 

We will start with this one, you will remember from my note on Chapter 9 that I said the following:

“Your anger towards either character is valid, but I do want to point out one thing: No one is a perfect victim. We cannot invalidate how someone deals with trauma just because it's not how we think they should deal with it.”

Hinata is not a perfect victim. I described what a perfect victim was in my Author’s Note because someone had asked in the reviews, so I thought I would clarify. I understand sometimes we misunderstand things when we read them, and had you left it at that I would have simply moved on, but then you followed that review with this one:

Which I also was happy to overlook, your feelings about Itachi are your own. I did become annoyed with your narrative that Hinata now basically “owes” Itachi for him being there for her and thus she must develop romantic feelings for him. Itachi, in my story, did so because he wanted to, because he cared, and because he loved Haru. He did so without expecting anything in return, because he’s a good person. You, nor I, get to dictate what she misses or doesn’t miss from his home, for all you know at this point in the story Hinata associates her time there as a time where she felt powerless, useless and ashamed. You do not get to define what people view as gratitude, in my story the only thing Itachi wanted was for them to thrive, there is no better way to thank him than by doing exactly that. Now for your sentiment that they need to end up together and go through it together… No, just no. I still haven’t decided which way this is going to go, but trauma bonding is not how I’m going to make that decision. I could have also ignored this review and moved on from it, although I was quite peeved by it. It was as though you had missed the part in my Author’s note where I clearly stated that: 

“ I ultimately decided to write a story about how they - as flawed individuals - overcome these circumstances and what they learned from them instead.” 

This at no point was meant to hint at a possible relationship. The characters will develop as they will. 

Again, that comment alone was not enough for me to really write an essay though, but you did ultimately take the cake by the last comment that you posted: 

There is SO much wrong here that I am not even sure where to begin. Let’s start with your points, as you numbered them: 

1st Hinata took money and jewelry with her, considering this I think it took a year to spend everything considering the birth, that is, it had only been 4 years since had to look for work.

Hinata was staying in a Motel until she found her job. She worked through her pregnancy. As illustrated previously, I’m unsure how far you thought the money would take her, but a simple cheap motel in Kabukicho averages around ¥5000 ($36.46). Plus food and other expenses. She couldn’t live there indefinitely, and additionally I broke down her expected expenses, she could not have made it without a job. She has been working since before having Haru. 

2nd Hinata comes from a morally proud family (that's why she ran away, right?) That's why giving up or prostituting so easily is not... believable, such a level of degradation is or occurs with people who have lived in degrading situations Practically since childhood, in the case of this Hinata we do not have an illiterate or knowledgeless person, unable to think of some alternatives, such as: looking for a shelter for single mothers, doing research work for students, translation or employing where they usually hiring students, being a waitress in a cafe, wow, even illegals get jobs as dishwashers, it's more difficult with a baby, yes, but not impossible, especially for someone you define as proud.

This part, this is really where I have no words for you, so I will regale you with a tale from my youth to illustrate how ignorant this sounds and how wrong this mentality is. 

My best friend in highschool came from a rich family, her family lived in what we called in my town “The Street of Dreams.” The houses were easily worth millions of dollars at the time. A silver spoon if I ever met one. She tragically met her end with a drug overdose at the tender age of 17. Now, how did someone like her end up like that? Well, neglect played a huge part, her parents were incredibly busy professionals, but one of our “friends” played a much bigger role. Now this friend spoke 3 languages and was incredibly intelligent and ended up exchanging her body for money so that she could fund her drug habit. Such a level of “degradation” according to you should only be possible if they came from equally degrading circumstances and that is simply not how the world works. How dare you imply that only illiterate and ignorant people have to do anything in their power to survive? That type of thinking is so incredibly biased and classist that I can’t even begin to imagine that you possess a single empathetic bone in your body. This review comes off as ignorant, as classist and as though you took no time to read the story I have been writing and have zero empathy for those who struggle. 

such as: looking for a shelter for single mothers, doing research work for students, translation or employing where they usually hiring students, being a waitress in a cafe, wow, even illegals get jobs as dishwashers, it's more difficult with a baby, yes, but not impossible, especially for someone you define as proud.

The average cost of raising a baby in Japan is roughly 29 to 60 million Yen, which is roughly 208k to 400k usd. Not to mention that childbirth alone roughly costs anywhere between 500k yen to 1 million yen (3.5k to 5k usd thank god this is cheaper than in the US.)

Now, what is the difference between Hinata and “illegals” as you so kindly called them (another classist term if I ever heard one.)? 

Most undocumented immigrants come into the country without children or babies to take care of and live in adject poverty, just as she was, in order to send money home where the dollar value is higher than the value of their home currency. They often live with many roommates and in incredibly dangerous housing arrangements if they are lucky enough to find a roof to put over their heads. You know what undocumented females have in common with Hinata? A good number of them are subject to sexual violence on their way to the border and beyond. I would put examples and quotes in here, but I will just direct you to the New York’s Time Article titled: ‘You Have to Pay With Your Body’: The Hidden Nightmare of Sexual Violence on the Border. Please read it and many others that outline the violence these women go through just to make it to the US where they hope to build a better life. 

I never once said that Hinata in my story was going through what she was going through willingly, in fact I made it clear in the verbiage to state that he was doing this by force. I also clearly stated in my Author’s Note that she was not driven by pride, and there were other feelings motivating her. 

Again, as I have mentioned before, I appreciate all criticism that is constructive and comes from a place of having understood the source material (in this case my writing). If I am somehow not being clear enough, then tell me that. I speak 3 and a half languages and have been subjected to violence, I have done things I am not proud of to stay alive, do not tell me that I came from a degrading background since childhood or that I am illiterate or ignorant for letting those things happen and making those choices. Do not tell any woman that has gone through any of the things I have mentioned Hinata going through any of those things. They are heartless and damaging and have no place in my fanfic or the community of people who read my work. 

To that guest that said "EVERYTHING the reviewer 'Alquiem' said...PREACH!” 

You apparently also didn’t manage to read the subtleties. Again, this might be my fault and a problem with my writing as I may not be getting the point across as well as I wanted to be. For that I apologize. 

This is the last time that I will address anything in regards to that controversial chapter or any reviews pertaining to it or my author notes that are not explicitly constructive criticism. 

I will say this one last time. While I appreciate and value everyone that reads my fic, you are free to stop at any given time. 

Now, I will quickly address the 3 (?) claims that my writing is OOC... That isn’t constructive criticism. You say EVERY character except for some parts of Itachi are OOC, thus far we have encountered Fugaku, Mikoto, Temari, Gaara, Sai, Shikamaru, Naruto, Sasuke, Hinata, Haku, Kisame and Itachi. With the majority of the last chapters being ONLY Hinata and Itachi. While I have agreed that Hinata has been OOC because that was a sacrifice I was willing to make, somehow in the brief appearances of the others you have surmised they are also OOC to collosal degrees. If you really think this to be the case, instead of telling me “This is ooc, it sucks, it ruins all my beloved characters”, tell me what you would rather see, all you are accomplishing is making it harder to write because I second guess every sentence now wondering if I am veering too far from your ideal of a particular character. 

I guess I did miss the murdering aspect of Itachi’s personality and the unhinged terrorism of Sasuke’s. Maybe I’ll have them bomb a small village next chapter idk (this is a joke). 

Whew, sorry for the essay guys! Hope this helps clear up some things, and helps you understand how much research has gone behind the scenes while working on this fanfic. I do have some additional behind the scenes stuff coming to my tumblr, so please look forward to that! 

Much love, 

Emi

[neonponders]

*sigh* catch me projecting on a Saturday.

I read this post ( @lazybakerart you wizard - ALSO IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY?????? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹) and am now thinking about a sugardaddy!Billy with an ace!Steve. (*emphasis on grey ace*)

* Please nobody attack me for writing about leather fashion. I’m vegetarian and it’s fiction. Live a little. *

Read on ao3 ~

🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹

Steve just kind of stared at the box on the restaurant table. It wasn’t a ring box, but it was velvet. Goodness knew how many of these he’d seen in his life.

Steve knew wealth. He knew money, and all of the material variations therein.

He’d gotten pedicures with his mother before his father declared such a thing unfit for a boy coming into puberty. If you look like a man, act like a man. As if men didn’t have feet, or something.

Then he went to the salon. That wasn’t so easy to take away. Ventures with her son seemed to be the only things keeping Mrs. Harrington from being connected to her husband’s hip, so Mr. Harrington let them both have this one. Steve, fresh out of graduation, being given a hairdresser’s chair to accomplish summer-fresh highlights.

Mrs. Harrington was also the type of woman to enjoy shoes. Everyone has a thing. For some, they had bags. Others, jewelry. Vintage furniture. Designer wallpaper. Mrs. Harrington enjoyed shoes. It was where Steve learned to carry a woman’s bags, but he didn’t stay outside of the store. He learned how to clean suede, the difference between a 130 So Kate and an ordinary heel. What fetish meant in terms of fashion. He can convert heels sizes in millimeters to inches faster than a cashier calculating change.

Tommy and Carol had joked about Steve’s father having a different kind of fetish. Nothing to do with fashion, and everything to do with sex. Steve had foolishly let them into his mother’s bedroom and they were having a field day with a shoe closet that cost more than both of their houses combined. Still smelling of Nancy and pool chlorine, Steve as good as ended that friendship right there.

Because they didn’t get it.

Mr. Harrington certainly didn’t get it. Could never have such a sexual inclination because he didn’t understand pampering or indulgent interests.

He understood favors. Material apologies.

Mrs. Harrington had a collection of pearls and diamonds that she never wore.

Steve knew she liked opals and pink, pink rubies, because Steve liked opals too. Because he used his father’s money to buy ruby studs his mother actually wore. Because he gets her oldest, broken bracelet with green amber fixed, and she wears it until it breaks again. And then she presented Steve with a thin, gold chain to go around his ankle. With a gleaming, green amber stone flanked by two opals.

The green goes with our eyes, she said. Someone special will see the green in all that brown. It’s why we look good in reds.

Steve was still looking at the box on the table.

“It’s not going to catch fire, the longer you glare at it.”

His dark hazel, creek water eyes slanted up to the man sitting opposite him.

Billy Hargrove.

Stubborn to a fault. Gorgeous as Lucifer with wings freshly burnt off. And just as dangerous.

“I thought I said no more gifts.”

“And I ignored you. Open it.”

Steve went about it like ripping off a bandaid. He sighed at the window beside their booth, wrenching the thing open to see -

Diamonds.

He shut it with a loud clap and set it on Billy’s placemat. “No, thanks.”

The man’s features froze in tolerant stoicism, but he eased the box inside his suit jacket pocket. “You’re a hard one to shop for.”

Steve’s eyes widened dramatically over his wine glass of water. Not because he was sober - he’d willingly pay for an overpriced red, himself, if the handsome asshole weren’t trying to wave his wallet everywhere. “You can stop trying to buy your way into my pants any time you want.”

“If that’s all I wanted, I would’ve stopped three months ago.”

Three months ago,

When Billy breezed into Steve’s life as easily as he had senior year of high school. The two of them certainly deserved some kind of award for having a bizarre history.

Within a handful of months, Billy had arrived upon a turbulent time in Steve’s life, and then left nearly as quickly. Billy witnessed Steve and Nancy’s break-up, Steve’s fall from Hawkins High grace, and even beat his face a little bit. Because that’s what teenage men with bad emotional processing and even worse communication skills do.

Now, almost ten years later, Billy had some kind of empire behind him and Steve, well, didn’t. He had no idea what Billy’s job consisted of, but he got little hints. Mostly the negative space from Billy’s lack of discussing his job told Steve a whole lot.

Steve, who worked two jobs and occasional gigs wherever he was needed. During one such time, while Steve managed the cables and sound boards for Robin’s band, Billy Hargrove sauntered up to him with just as much charm mixed with hauteur as he’d ever displayed.

It wasn’t like meeting an old friend, because they had never been more than acquaintances, and roughly ten years was enough time for a personality to evolve ten different ways.

Steve couldn’t say how much he and Billy had evolved, really, but there was a point in there somewhere.

Maybe it lived in the, “I never expected to see you in a dyke club, pretty boy,” since it was all the coming out either of them needed.

Or the wanton kisses and fervent hands underneath the neon rainbow on the venue’s wall.

Maybe the point sat in the things Billy wanted, and what Steve was reticent to provide. Because Billy was a king who knew what he liked, and seemed particularly talented at walking into Steve’s personal crises like an anniversary.

Steve craved.

But he didn’t know what he craved. What he yearned for. He knew Billy’s kisses made his brain go molten and fuzzy. He knew Billy’s smell brought him just as much comfort, excitement, and anxiety. He knew finally being outside of sex-crazed high school had deflated something in him. The expectations to perform. He knew losing Robin’s stupid game of You Rule / You Suck gave him a secret gift of relief.

But he still craved. He wanted touch but he wanted to be alone. He wanted companionship but he didn’t want sex. But he did enjoy sex, except he didn’t want the expectation of it.

Well.

That was it, wasn’t it?

Billy Hargrove, who could have anyone he wanted plastered to his stupid, unbuttoned chest, had sought out Steve. Steve, king of mixed signals, Harrington. It was only a matter of time before he got his face beaten again. For wasting Billy’s time. For refusing Billy’s advances even though Steve clearly enjoyed Billy’s lips on his neck, and Billy’s hand on his inner thigh. For wanting Billy’s company and flirtation without the rules that finished in the bedroom.

So Steve refused the gifts. The material favors he could’ve sold for a better apartment. Fucked his way to owning a house that his mom would feel comfortable visiting. Be an unfeeling toy who could pay for his mother’s shoes and his own pedicures.

“Steve?”

He turned away from the window and the city’s electric constellations. “Hm?”

“Where’d you go?”

The back of Steve’s throat ached. He looked down at their appetizer plates and decided, “I think I’m going home.” After a second of them both hearing it out loud, Steve said with more conviction, “I need to be home right now. I’m sorry. Thanks for dinner.”

He almost reached for his wallet to pay for his half of the artichoke dip, but reconsidered. He took his old prom tuxedo jacket off on the way to the elevator, waiting for the doors to close before he pressed his face into the old fibers.

It would be easier if Steve didn’t know money. If wealth were a foreign pillow he had never slept on; could be spoiled into never giving it up again.

Like a true mother with a sixth sense, Steve withdrew a package from his mailbox when he returned to his apartment building. Mrs. Harrington’s versions of care packages were fashion magazines, a subscription to The New Yorker, polaroids of her latest closet pieces, and Steve’s favorite candy.

He loved it all. He didn’t need laminated recipes, bags of rice, or resupplied hair products. He went up to his bedroom, stripped down to nothing, and fell into bed with the hefty parcel. Fruity hard candies fell out like confetti, and he stuck a green apple square inside his cheek while he looked through her baggie of polaroids.

Peach suede 130s. Steve felt a warm tickle in his belly at that. She only wore 130s if she was pissed at his father. A woman in 130s walked with the force of a storm, mostly because the damn things were nearly intolerable to wear without a platform.

Another pair of diamond earrings. One of these days, people were going to realize how boring clear rocks were.

Dark, amethyst Miu Mius with the heel and toe encrusted with pearls. Steve’s dad must’ve really pissed her off to warrant that apology.

The magazine subscription had piled up, so he had three New Yorkers to read, but he opened the tome of Vogue first. His mother dog-earred her favorite articles, scent samples, and spreads. She often favored the androgynous and male fragrances. Steve liked that a whole lot. He wasn’t sure if she did that for him because he liked them, or if he liked them because she did that.

He held the magazine to his face as he went to the kitchen, smelling the first fragrance sample while he reached for his cache of boxed cake mix. It was a funfetti kind of night. He rattled the package of sprinkles in his hand while reading about some summer collection where the runway happened in a Greek ampitheatre. Sounded fun. Sounded like a great vacation. Beach, wine, and then modern art fusing with ancient architecture.

Steve didn’t excel in chemistry, but he knew a different kind of magic.

Which didn’t actually include baking. The cake emerged a little dark, but he cut off the burnt top, iced it to glorious, sugar perfection, and took a slice to bed with him. He turned the parcel upside-down for the last of the candy to come out so he could throw the envelope away -

Two bottles of nail polish landed heavily on the bed. Steve lifted the darker bottle to see a purple so ebony he thought it was black until he opened it to see the paint up close.

Purple and peach. To match his mother’s shoes.

Not many people understood his parents’ methods of producing or avoiding affection. But Steve did. He shook up the poison violet and painted his toenails in between forkfuls of cake.

He didn’t hear from Billy the next day.

Or the next.

As bad as Steve felt, he couldn’t say he minded. Nor would he be surprised if Billy never called him again. The idea brought a lonely peace during the commute to work, reading his magazines on the train before keeping them safe in a folder that he stuffed inside his backpack. Even if Steve’s chest felt like a cold balloon, with its latex worn thin and tired, he had his little things to keep him warm.

Then a knock on his apartment door.

Steve answered it with a cheek full of cake, interrupted from making his grocery list of actual nutritional value - 

Billy had never visited before. Steve stared at him long enough for him to ask, “Are you going to let me in?”

Steve glanced at the box under his arm and turned into his apartment with a sigh. Billy closed the door behind him as he remarked, “You don’t know what’s in it yet.”

There wasn’t exactly anywhere for Steve to theatrically storm off to. His kitchen was also his living room, and a half-wall partitioned the bedroom off to the side. His apartment was one long rectangle, and Steve remained stuck in the middle of it.

“Billy, I don’t know what you want from me that you think you can get from expensive things.”

“I don’t recall asking for anything in return,” he drawled while removing his coat.

“Don’t take that off,” Steve retorted.

“I’m taking it off.”

“This isn’t going to be a long visit.”

“Would you at least open the damn thing first?” Billy presented the box on the flat of his hand like a waiter’s tray.

Steve knew a shoe box when he saw one. He swatted the lid off the box before he even meant to. He was so tired of this game. Of these rules. He doesn’t want to see some snotty designer sneaker that isn’t to his taste. Some item the rules would dictate he accept without complaint. Or some chunky, foamy plastic, glorified tennis shoe that is over hyped . . .

He sees the red first.

It’s not a sneaker.

Hot Chick heels. 100mm. Black suede on top, red bottom. The leather around the heel scallop-cut like minimalist flower petals.

Steve’s breath has stopped in his chest. The pad of his thumb moved across the soft, matte leather before he stops himself. He tries to look stern when he dares to peek up at Billy, but those water-turquoise eyes are steady on him, absorbing his every reaction.

“These don’t exist in suede.”

Because they didn’t. Hot Chicks came in patent leather only.

“They do now.”

“Louboutin sizes down.”

“Then we’ll have them stretched.”

Steve is losing. Billy knows he’s losing. Billy - he -

“How - ?” Steve begins but stops. He closed his eyes and swallowed, only to flinch a little when Billy grasped his chin, holding him in place as he leaned in to lick the corner of his mouth free of icing.

“Will you try them on for me?”

Steve feels a mixture of defeat mixed in with petulance and vulnerable glee as he warily takes the box to his humble couch. Billy looked at his bed, and then to the kitchen on the other side of the apartment. He strolled into it and lifted the knife for a slice.

Steve, meanwhile, took his time. He opened the paper from where it had floated back over the shoes. He lifted the box to inhale the leather. He took one shoe out just to...see it. Look at it. Read the number stamped on the red arch.

Steve had to remove his socks, revealing his lacquered toes as Billy sat next to him with a plate. He eased the coffee table out of the way, giving Steve room to wiggle his foot into the severe 100mm heel.

They were hardly glamorous under his old, cut-off sweats.

But.

He’d never actually seen his feet in heels before. Never bothered to try to find his size.

Billy handed him the other shoe, and stood up with a ready hand. Steve wiggled into it and accepted his hold as he stood up.

How do you walk in those? he’d once asked his mother.

Trust the heel, my love, she’d answered, strolling around her bedroom in her 130s. If you’ve paid enough for it, it better hold up your entire form, and your dating baggage.

Steve had laughed, but listened to her every word. Move like a wheel barrow. You pivot on your toes, like the wheel, and rest on the heels.

“I’ve got you,” Billy purred when Steve teetered. Just a little.

“Why did you get me these?” Steve had to ask while he began to ease his arm off of Billy’s shoulders.

“Might’ve had a look inside your mail,” he admitted shamelessly. “I thought you might’ve ordered something and I could finally see what you liked. Instead, it’s the one thing I’ve seen you accept.”

“You’re a creep,” Steve declared, but he couldn’t look away from his feet as he strolled around the coffee table.

Billy laughed and sat down to his cake. “This is good.”

“It’s from a box.”

“It’s still good.”

Things . . . changed, after that. Billy came over just to come over. And he pestered Steve with endless questions.

“Do you like these?” he asked with his nose against the magazine pages.

Steve towered over him in his heels, but he’d wash dishes in whatever he wanted, thanks very much. And leather needed to be worn, as his mother taught him. Plastic is trash. If it comes from a living creature, it lives on a creature.

Steve snorted beside him. “My mom crimps those pages.”

“But do you like them?”

“They’re fun in magazines, but perfumes were never really my thing.”

“What is your thing?”

“Right now? You, elbows deep in here.”

Billy perked right out of the magazine only to lock onto the sink. “Because you’re having trouble reaching it now?”

Steve meant to have a witty come-back, but he got caught up in his own giggles. “Yeah.”

Then,

“Can I stay the night?”

Something must have flashed across his face, because Billy added, “Not for sex. I’ve taken the hint, all right?”

Steve slowly unfolded his socks where he sat on the foot of the bed. “Why do you want to?”

Billy wiped his hands on the dish towel and padded across the room to sit beside him. “Because I want to taste you before I sleep. And I wanna taste you when I wake up. I want your snark in my ears all the time - ”

“All the time?” Steve repeated, deadpan.

“Yeah, all the time. I can’t believe it either.”

Billy’s features were warm, unbelievably warm as he watched Steve laugh. “Of course I want to have sex with you. But I miss you when... I miss you all the time. It’s embarrassing.”

Steve rolled his eyes onto him, to which Billy defended, “I have things to do.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re the big man in town,” Steve babied, pushing his chest so he toppled backward.

“I am, actually,” he crooned, his hands finding Steve’s legs easily when he straddled him. “I’d work better with you on my desk.”

“My hairy legs and scraped up heels?” Steve threatened breathily, holding Billy’s cheek and jaw in one hand while he leaned over him so all Billy could see was Steve.

“All of it,” he exhaled, and pulled Steve’s head the last inch for a kiss.

Billy’s next gift was a pair of slippers. Plush, soft, and perfect after an afternoon in 100s.

Then he gave Steve a massage. Steve could accept those with ease. The balls of his feet hurt and even blushed a faint indigo from being so unused to heels. The warm attention of Billy’s hands on the arches of his feet, heels, and ankles; as well as the cold tennis balls he stored in Steve’s freezer to roll along his feet.

By then, he’d seen Steve’s anklet. So the next shoe box Steve opened were dark green suede, as poisonously dark as his mother’s violet heels. The toe was bare, but the heel was encrusted with opals. The milky stones flashed green and orange as Steve walked in the 120mm heel.

“How do they feel?”

Steve, with far more mastery over heels now, pivoted on his toes and planted one on the couch in between Billy’s thighs. His warm hand cradled Steve’s ankle immediately.

“What if I shaved for these?”

“Then I’d never take my hands off you.”

“So nothing would change,” Steve giggled, teasing gone as he landed on Billy’s lap. The man underneath him hummed his mirth into Steve’s mouth, his other hand burying in Steve’s hair while he let Steve control the kiss, explore his mouth.

“I thought they’d go with your eyes,” he said when the kiss petered off and Steve kissed his nose. Billy touched the pad of his thumb high on Steve’s cheek. “There’s a little bit of green there.”

Steve let Billy fuck him in those shoes.

Because he finally craved all the way, beyond fear of rules. Beyond the existence of toys. He craved Billy deeper than skin, and Billy gave it to him.

And when Billy got him a pair of 130s . . . blood red and spiked with tiny, crimson points, he let Steve fuck him.

[btsandvmin]

Ask: Reply - 2021.03.18

I don’t know what might be the best way to go about asks, but for now I’ll try to answer asks as they come and when I can/want to I’ll collect them together in a post instead of answering indivudually. I’ve seen other Vminie blogs with similar formats and have done a few collection posts like this before, and it really seems to be the easiest way to digest your questions.

Let’s go through what you’ve sent me today as I finally opened up this blog for asks again. :)

Topics:

Ask 1 - Vmin’s emotional connection vs ship moments Ask 2 - KTH1 and creative control Ask 3 - What makes a ship big? Ask 4 - Thoughts on Tae/kook’s relationship (+ edit on other post) Ask 5 - When did they first mention the dumpling fight? Ask 6 - A little about me and my big analysis Ask 7-9 - Thank yous and nice things

Thank you all for waiting. <3 Read more under the cut.

Ask 1 -  Vmin’s emotional connection vs ship moments

I agree with you. I might not look at other ships as focused as I do with Vmin, but I would guess no other ship comes close to how much Vmin have shown their emotional intimacy in many ways over the years. Not to mention how many times even BTS themselves point out Vmin’s bond as special. Not to mention to begin with we shouldn’t be insecure about their bond based on their interactions with others. We should judge Vmin based on how they interact with each other.

All members have skinship (though some more than others), but both Jimin and Tae are super comfortable with touching, sometimes even with strangers. Looking at moments you can ship all ships, and there are even those that believe their ship to be real for almost all ships in BTS at this point. Why? Well because if you focus on your ship and put emphasis on the moments between them as bigger or more important, you can find “proof” for anything. Because that’s just how close and shipworthy all of the dynamics in BTS are. They all love each other, and shippers can find their own preferred love amongst them. 

I think we also need to remember all the things Vmin has CONFIRMED that other shippers try to prove with their own ships. How is tae/kook hugging or ji/kook cuddling supposed to make me feel insecure about Vmin when they have that too AND call each other soulmates in a song that made one of their procucers cry and other things like Namjoon getting goosebumps thinking about their bond? Taehyung cried reading his letter to Jimin and Jimin said no other member would likely truly understand why he cried. Taehyung has called Jimin the warmest person he knows and his one and only best friend. AND AGAIN, SOULMATE. The years of material we have show us again and again how important they are to each other and how they grow and work hard together to make their bond even stronger.

Vminies, please appriciate what we have because we are spoiled.

Ask 2 - KTH1 and creative control

Honestly this is a difficult one. The thing is that we know that likely to some degree Big Hit will always be involved with what the boys do and release. But I also think their freedom to express themselves is better than most idol companies, and BTS whole brand is to be as genuine as possible. As for what Tae would be asked to tone down is hard to say exactly, but we do know that Yoongi and Namjoon (and other members) have been pretty dark and honest in their lyrics. I know from a Vmin perspective it could be something either LGBT+ or even directly Vmin related, but there isn’t enough to go on for me to make a good guess. We literally just know that he was told to tone it down. It doesn’t even have to be about the subjects or lyrics, even though that does seem the most likely. But we do know that Taehyung wants to release something that reflect him and that he can be proud of, so I am sure no matter what we get they will be his honest feelings. I am very excited and a bit scared thinking about Tae’s mixtape if I am being honest.

That being said, I think there could be lines that they should be careful not to cross. I think it’s possible with Taehyung’s personality who “doesn’t beat around the bush” that he might want to express more than what might be appropriate. Not just from Big Hit’s perspective but for his own sake. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying Tae is an idiot who doesn’t know what’s good for him. I just think at times he might be rebellious against his own better judement because it is something so important to him. For me talking about the Christmas song is partly such a moment, but I still think he was careful and ambiguous enough about it, even though he allowed himself to complain. Still, I am sure if it is about sexuality or even a relationship he knows the risks of being too open about it and would likely understand the need to be careful, or tone things down, if that was the case. A mixtape/album is not something done rashly or in the moment, so no matter what we get I am sure it will have been checked and considered by Tae and by Big Hit.

So basically I suppose the delay could be about creative control but mostly I really think it’s about Taehyung wanting to do well and writing when he feels like it without pressure. Which I feel is a very healthy approach by him honestly. We know mixtapes takes time and we know how Hobi felt about his first one, so I really think we should just give him time and I am sure we will get something amazing.

Ask 3 - What makes a ship big?

Aaaaaaw~! Thank you so much for your love and compliments. I feel like am very lacking in many areas still, but regardless I am glad my posts are appriciated. If I can bring a smile to anyones’ face that is an acomplishment to be proud of. Thank you. <3

As for what makes a ship big or not is of course quite subjective. For me at this point I would say ALL BTS ships are big ships. Not comparing them to each other but just by the huge amount of fans they all have. (I hope you don’t have to learn the pain or liking a rare-pair from a small fandom T-T). Almost all the ships in BTS even have analysis and people who believe in them, and I think that is partly an effect of size as well. That being said I think the bigger a ship is the easier it is for it to grow more. Which is why it is no surprise a lot of BTS ships that were popular right at the start are still the biggest ones now. But with more material and more fans there comes communities focused on their own ship, and they all grow as they get more moments. Vmin too have had a few times when they blow up for a while and gather new curious shippers. Friends is clearly a great example of this. Even Sweet Night seem to be something of a turning point for some to start shipping Vmin. All ships will grown in size with each passing year as we are always given new material. Even if a ship doesn’t get a lot, it will likely get enough to keep fans engaged.

For me I would say the loudest and the most agressive are often the biggest  (more bad apples the bigger the basket you know) and I think we can see some size indications by what ships trend more often etc. Ships can also be big in different ways and in different forums... Like how ji/kookers have taken tumblr as their platform while tae/kookers seem to be on youtube comments a lot.

All in all I don’t think size matters much though. Especially not with BTS where all ships get a lot of material and has their own fans who create for, share and dicuss about their pair. Popularity to me is not really something I think too much about, and honestly I think the way only the most popular pairs seem to get attention in the form of “worry” etc. is very telling. If JK and Hobi share a bed and cuddle and celebrate JK’s BD together, or Hobi post them having a picknick outside their house at night no one bats an eye... But if it was JK with one of Vmin? Confirmed to be dating and all other shippers get worried. 

Going into detail why ships gets big is a different conversation though. :P I hope I understood your ask correctly. Basically I consider all BTS ships as more or less big (perhaps with the exception of 2seok).

Ask 4 - Thoughts on Tae/kook’s relationship

So I got two Tae/kook asks today, seemingly because Tae/kook has had a lot of moments recently. I deleted the first one, but this one I feel is safe enough to share. I’ve talked about tae/kook before... (HERE for example) and I stand by that now too. I don’t have to dismiss other ships to feel confident about Vmin’s love for each other.

Tae/kook has always had a very physical and playful dynamic. Even when Tae changed and toned down this side of him we got moments where he played with JK or they hugged or cuddled close. I do see a little change now after ITS but mostly in that Tae seems to initiate more, not that it looks different in nature. I think when Tae changed his dynamic with JK lost a lot of it’s “main focus” as Tae wasn’t as playful. Look at JK with Jin as a comparison and I think JK in general is drawn to hang with people who are happy and fun to tease. 

Anyways, about their bond I do think tae/kook are close but as grown men they don’t have the same relationship that they used to when they were younger. They simply grew up and their dynamics changed. They haven’t had a lot of more serious conversations, but I think now that distance have become a little shorter after ITS. I think Tae/kook has a great bond that is underrated by many in the fandom but overrated greatly by their shippers. They clearly love each other and have fun with each other and can be very comfortable physically. 

But are they as close as Vmin? Personally I really doubt it. And even if Tae/kook would be real why should that have any impact on Vmin? Surely you wouldn’t think they are together but cheating or something drastic like that. I am also not sure why you would be particularly worried about tae/kook based on physical interactions alone though... I mean, both Hope/kook, Tae/jin, Ji/kook and Vmin also have a loooot of very intimate looking moments if you ask me.

You don’t have to worry about Vmin. If Tae has gushed about Jimin being special to him from 2013 to 2020 I don’t see why 2021 would be any different.

I also got a reply to this post where I mentioned the tae/kook ask I deleted. I must first say that it was my mistake to write JK’s lips and not his lip mole. I have edited the post to make clear he talked about the mole and not the lips.

Either way, thank you anon for giving perspective and adding your thoughts to the moments. Not to mention moments like this happen for all members and I don’t think we can draw any strong conclusions from them saying another members is sexy or something similar. But yeah, people pick and choose what they will remember, and often focusing on the negative will leave a bigger impact than the positive.

Ask 5 - When did they first mention the dumpling fight?

Hi and don’t worry. I honestly think a lot of Vminies don’t know about this because the first time was such a small moment not many would pay attention and remember it. We knew about it since 2016 where Tae offhandedly mentioned him and Jimin fighting about dumplings once.

I don’t even have the actual source for the first time Tae mentioned it, but it was all the way back in July 2016 in an interview with @star1 magazine, so we know it happened before that.

Then Tae got asked about it on a post it during a BST era fansign as well. Also, did you know the reason they fought was 💜?

Yeah.... Let’s just say I am not surprised at all to hear their dumpling fight having more meaning than first let on. As with most things brought up in the lyrics of Friends it’s something we already knew about since before. I also talked about this in my post Vmin analysis - “Friends”. (Though at that point we hadn’t heard them speak much about it and didn’t know how big of a deal it seemed to be.) It makes me wonder if the other things they talk about in the lyrics might also have more meaning than we know. 

Personally I think the reason we even got them talking about the dumpling incident so much is thanks to JK in the carpool karaoke. When asked what Vmin would fight about he was the one who mentioned dumplings and likely brought more attention to it than if it would simply have remained as one of the many lyrical anecdotes in the song. I am glad we got to know more, because honestly the dumpling incident seems to have been a pivotal moment in Vmin’s relationship.

Ask 6 - A little about me and my big analysis

Hi and thank you so much for the lovely compliments. Trying to consider all kinds of possibilities I feel should be obvious if you truly want to analyse something, but sadly I think when it comes to observing real people and being invested emotionally that becomes really difficult. Me too have to hold myself back a lot, because in the end there is always going to be room for error. And if I am wrong, who will be hurt? Likely all of you who listen to me and take my words into consideration. So I rather be upfront about the risk of being wrong than to speak too confidently and accidentally ending up misleading someone. I am really so happy and proud over Vminies who can stand back and not become delusional despite everything we actually have (this includes myself, because it’s not always easy to not get caught up in theories).

As for who I am it’s of course ok to ask. I am from Sweden and is 30 years old. (English isn’t my native language so I hope you forgive my mistakes, I know I have a lot of them in my posts). I’ve been a BTS fan since 2016 and Vmin fan almost since the start. I have been a fan of other groups long before BTS too and was pretty deep into the Japanese idol culture before fell for K-pop. For some additional info I also work with marketing and project managing and have a degree in conflict resolution. Thanks for being curious about me. :)

About my big analysis I am working on it still, and of course I hope to post it as soon as I can. I am a bit hesistant in bringing attention to some things though, as I have seen some of my previous theories and speculations be regarded as fact. I don’t want Vminies to run with my interpretations in a way that make them confident in Vmin being real. So yeah, I do want to post it, but I am also a bit worried what reactions it might get. I try very hard to remind you all that my theories are only speculations and we won’t know anything for sure (unless it would be confirmed). It still isn’t finished yet though, but I’ll keep working hard.

Ask 7 -  Thank you for the fic rec

Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it. I haven’t had too much time to catch up on reading and just added a lot from my bookmarks, but good thing it was so appriciated by you all. Vmin writers truly are amazing aren’t they? :) 

(And don’t worry about me getting bad asks. I think I would have quit a long time ago if I let them bother me too much.)

Ask 8 - Just a very sweet anon

Thank you! I’m ok. Not great, but ok. Life goes on, you know? But I feel like I finally have the energy to blog again, and honestly that feels pretty great. It feels like I’ve been gone forever, but I hope you will still enjoy my musings and thoughts as you send me questions and I write new posts. :3

Ask 9 - The whole world is different from yesterday~ Just with your joy~

Omg what a sweet thing to say, thank you so much, you are putting a big smile on my face right now. I am glad you enjoy and understand my thoughts so much. I know many of you have missed my thoughts and even asked me when I would open my asks again, and so much always happen with Vmin too... (There is literally enough material to write books about them.) Thank you for waiting and being so understanding. I am happy to be back too. <3

Thank you everyone for you asks and I hope you liked this new format. :) I’ll try to keep it up and if you have any thoughts and opinions feel free to share them.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Where they take you on vacation - 7 Brothers + Diavolo

Found out the edits are made by @devilgram​ who has such a beautiful blog and posts so many Obey Me! things that are so cool! You did a great job with all the edits! <3

LUCIFER

Lucifer would like to take you to Romania, mostly because of all the stories of the great Wallachian ruler Vlad Tepes/The Impaler and wants to find out more about his ruthless yet effective methods of insuring no crime happens in his country ( and hopes they will work on his brothers too ).

Apart from the gorgeous landscapes from the mountainside, the possibility to go to the seaside, or see the different types of regional architecture ( like the unique Black Church ) from different cities, he’d also like to get a full experience of the language, the music, the traditions ( customs, clothes, foo ) and feel for a day like a native from the old ages. 

Even more, he’d find it very nice if you were to try out one of the traditional outfits, and would take a picture of you at the mountains, on a nice field, and put the developed picture in his coat, looking at it whenever he is working and misses you.

He can get pretty salty about the fact that there are still people who believe the Bran castle is Dracula’s true castle, instead of the Poienari fortress and wouldn’t hesitate to express his displeasure, but would appreciate the castle and everything displayed there nonetheless.

Also, would be the first to go to the Horror house, holding your hand if you get scared, and would feel incredibly proud that you trust him and feel safe around him, but would get such a kick out of using his demon form while at it, to scare the actors there.

His whole aesthetic draws people near as if they would actually approach a vampire royalty, which allows him to puff his chest out in pride, so hey, you’re dating a vampire now!

Would take you out at the fanciest restaurant, just to feel how the life at this place is.

Would love to take long walks on the beach at the sea, your feet in the water, holding hands, and just admiring the moon and stars while waves are your music.

You’d mostly stay silent and enjoy the atmosphere, but sometimes you talk a few words, and that’s when Lucifer is the most relaxed, calm and tender.

He would saying that he loves you with such ease for the first time in so long, and the kiss on your forehead would be so soft that it brings you more butterflies than any kiss ever could.

Lucifer looks so ethereal in the light of the moon, it’s almost like he’s glowing, and when you tell him, he’d actually blush softly, before chuckling and stroking your hair, not denying, nor agreeing with your statement.

---

Mammon

Mammon loves to spend money and grab it, so what better place than Las Vegas?

He’d love for the two of you to dress super fancy and flashy, in matching colours if possible, go gambling, scam people and experience the luxury night lifestyle, go to clubs, loud music and expensive alcohol and all that.

But Mammon isn’t all about the flashy and exciting night time, instead, he would mostly love to just see the world with you by his side, and his goals is to make you happy, to he does everything he can to go sightseeing with you and reads in advance about whatever places you could visit and tells you some fun trivia about the place, he’s treating you to the fanciest food and drink places, and would spoil you rotten when going shopping, loving to see you do a little catwalk for him every time you get out of the changing booth.

He’d definitely insist on buying super cute animal Pyjamas.

He’s a huuuuuge fan of the “His Queen/Her King” trope and loves showing you off as much as possible, so get matching Tshirts or jackets and he would be SOOO proud and would laugh confidently and proud all the time, his arm around you, saying how cool you two are together and all that.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he honestly doesn’t believe he’s good enough for you, but when he sees how your dazzling smile is always directed to him and you cling on his arm whenever you watch the Lights Show on the big buildings, see the beautiful fireworks or watch the impressive singing fountain...Well, he can’t help but blush and kiss your forehead, feeling butterflies in his stomach.

He’s the kind of guy who would spam his DevilGram with either couple pictures in different places you visit, or just cute pics of you or you two messing around, and his account is actually very popular for the #CoupleGoalz trend.

At night, he would like to either cuddle with you and watch a movie, or go drive through the city at night, watch the night lights, and go on a cliff, stargazing and chatting openly about everything, because honestly, this guy is always dismissed and insulted by his brothers, it’s always a relief and a fresh air when he can be himself and just...Talk with someone. 

---

Leviathan

Levi is the biggest weeb in the world, so the first place you’d visit together is Japan.

Anime conventions, wearing cute kimonos while going to festivals or roaming the streets of Kyoto or Akihabara, couple cosplay (Henry and the Lord of Shadows), buying merch of your favourite anime/manga/game, going to Vocaloid concerts, buying the newest Ruri-chan figurines, trying out new video games that just came out and so on.

Actually wants to go to a Pokemon cafe and fangirls SO much about all the cute pokemon themes there.

He would get you all the cutest Pokemon plushies, especially if you’re not all that into Pokemon but want to share that interest with him, so expect a Skitty, Vulpix, Shaymin, Eevee and all its Eeveelutions, Milotic plushie, while he would already be collecting plushies for the rarest Pokemons, but he’s incredibly happy that you want to do this with him.

He also gets an Ekans just for the Lolz and let’s out his tail, mostly for troll purposes, but it makes you laugh and he could swear his heart stopped beating and his cheeks were redder than ever.

He secretly got you a maid outfit and would love to see you wearing it, but he’s too embarrassed to actually say.

He would blush SO much seeing you in a kimono with a nice hair pin and a fan, while going to see the Sakura trees blossoming and you look like the Sengoku type of heroines from the dating sims he plays so much (to get experience and not fuck up with you), but somehow, you’re so much beautiful than any CG he’s every seen, no matter how gorgeous the art is.

He would get lots of packs of Pocky and despite not saying it out loud, would put a pocky in his mouth and you’d get the hint and munch on the other end of the pocky, in the end kissing him softly.

Levi.exe stopped working.

He would love taking pics of you alone, because you’re so beautiful, and would edit them to look as ethereal as possible, if you want, to even have fantastic backgrounds, and would take pride in how popular your DevilGram/InstaGram is.

He also changed his Lockscreen to have you with your hand in a half-heart gesture, while yours has him with the other half, so whenever he looks at the clock, or sees a new notif, he sees you smiling, with a cute kitten filter.

His Wallpaper is the two of you kissing, edited with a few hearts, sparkles and a little “I love you” written in cursive in a corner (you edited the pic and suggested you both use it, but he denied, so you changed it yourself for him too, while he was busy gaming, and he liked it so much that he couldn’t change it back to Ruri-chan.)

---

Satan

Satan would choose England first for so many reasons!

He’s such a perfect gentleman and seeing everyone so polite and chivalrous there makes his heart bloom and would up his gentleman shills even more, wanting to impress you and make your heart skip with everything he does.

Loves to take you to different castles, see in real life everything he read in books and saw in movies or TV series, and he’s so mesmerised by the beauty of everything that he forgets he promised to be your guide, but his bright smile and the way his eyes sparkle in curiosity and glee make up for everything.

Besides, he’d definitely go back to you and explain in very precise detail the reason for his fangirling.

He’s a little nerd so bookstore dates are a huge YES, and more - CAT CAFES where you can read at your heart’s content. HUGE YES.

You’d both get our of there with tons of books that you will read together, cuddled up under the blankets while enjoying an aromatic tea that Satan prepared for you, together with some nice scones.

He’d want to go with you to Shakespeare’s grave, Dicken’s house, would like to see anything involving the Romantics and so on, since he’s in love with British literature.

Satan wants to go see the Harry Potter theme park so much, and would buy tons of merch for the two of you, and wants to go in full Hogwarts robes and wand with you.

Would take a gazillion pics of you together, that only you can see since it may ruin his reputation with his brothers for geeking out, but he’d love it if the universe was actually real.

He’d also take you to King’s Cross to take pic near the wall where you get to the 9 3/4 Platform.

And no trip to England could exist without a visit to Sherlock’s house, pretending to be detectives, and at Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum to admire all the figures and potentially take troll pics with them.

---

Asmodeus

Asmo wastes no time in taking you to Paris, of course!

And the first thing you do is have a coffee at the restaurant located on top of the Eiffel Tower.

He would, throughout all the trip, take tons of selfies EVERYWHERE, and aeshtetic pics of either you alone, him alone, or together.

He’s a Devilgram and Devilr celebrity, after all!

Loves going to all the little cafes and drink a hot beverage with you while looking and judging all the passer-bys, how they would never compare to how beautiful and fashionable you two are.

He takes you to the Versailles Palace while wearing the most glamorous outfits, and despite all the pics taken, he will tell you stories of when he visited the place long ago, and more, will tell you of the paintings displayed, since he’s rather knowledgeable.

Asmodeus will take you everywhere, but first, the Lafayette Galleries, all while streaming every second there, to shop everyone how amazing the place is.

Would pics the both of you sooo many pretty brand clothes, new skin care routine and make up products, that you almost wonder where he has all the money from, especially to pay someone to carry them back to your place.

Would take you to a lingerie shop where he’d make you try on all the cutest outfits and would buy them all, especially because he thinks they will make you more confident and wants to make sure you never thing bad of yourself, because if you’re dating him, then you’re obviously the most beautiful being he’s ever seen, inside and out. (he doesn’t count here, of course)

His wallpaper is a selfie of you two smiling and making a peace sign, from the top of the Eiffel Tower, seeing all Paris in the background, at evening, with the beautiful sky and the night lights all over.

Would take you on a cruise on Seine, serenading and drinking a glass of bubbly champagne, admiring all the buildings and the happy people sitting on the banks of the River, enjoying the scenery.

And of course, there’s no perfect trip to the City of  Love without some very tender and sensual love-making, with so many compliments, praises, soft touches and gentle kisses from Asmodeus, followed by a relaxing bath with milk, honey and rose petals, scented candles, bubbles and ambiental music, and of course, a lot of cuddling all night long.

---

Beelzebub

Beelzebub would want to go to Italy, since it’s the country with the best human food, and what better place to eat it them its home country?

Would actually love to go sightseeing with you and seeing all the pretty stuff there is.

He appreciates the architecture, statues and paintings of every historical place, loves to find out more about the country’s history and traditions and would like to take scenic pictures of all the places you visit...

And make a couple album where he puts pics with either you alone or together.

It’s his most treasured possession and nobody except Belphie knows about it, and while he is happy that his brother is happy, he would say it’s so cheesy.

Would have fun when doing the classic “Pushing the Pisa Tower” picture, would like to sing when you go on a Gondola ride in Venice, and pretend to be a gladiator at the Colosseum, while you’re his Caesar.

If you get him a necklace or a keychain, he’d never take it off and has it as his lucky charm, kissing it whenever he misses you or wants the day to go good.

After he understands how the food is made, he’d want to make it himself, so you cooking together would be so cute and fun, and the way you see the love and tenderness in his eyes as he looks at you laughing, while your face is covered in flour...

He’s such a precious and soft baby, and he loves you so much.

Also, he’d love to carry you around just for fun and because he loves holding you close to him, so either bridal style on on his shoulder, you say it, and he’s gonna do it.

Will also like to take lots of short videos with you two, just fooling around, giggling, laughing, making jokes, kissing, pretending to be kittens, having flour fights and all that, since they’re beautiful memories and whenever he’s sad, he watches them and he forgets the reason he was sad in the first place.

---

Belphegor

Belphegor would take you to New Zealand, because he saw how beautiful and green the landscape were, thanks to the Lord of the Rings movies, so he wanted to see what would be like stargazing on such a flowery field, or sleeping in a Hobbit hole.

He’s pretty sleepy all the time, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t take you to see the big cities as well, eat out, shop for souvenirs and so on, but his heart is taken by the simplicity and peace the countryside and forests hold.

Belphie would actually like to have his head on your lap as you stay at the bottom of a tree and read, much like Froddo Baggings would, waiting for Gandalf.

It’s a guilty pleasure of his, but he wants to see ‘Gandalf’s’ fireworks, and when a festival like that happens, he’d hold your hand tight, having a soft smile on his face and a tender look in his eyes.

Despite not saying it very often, he will confess his love for you.

It’s barely above a whispers, but it’s genuine.

It’s simple, small, but meaningful and beautiful nonetheless.

As you stargaze on the field, he’d tell you the names of all stars and constellations that you can see, and would tell you some trivia he knows about them.

Would take a few pics here and there, but his favourite one is one where you two are on the ground outside, both your heads on his favourite pillow, while looking at each other, both of you having such genuine and pure love in your expressions.

If he ever wakes up earlier than you, and likes to troll a bit, he’d get his tail out and tickle your noes, smirking at how cute your half-asleep reactions were, but would play innocent when you ask about it, only kissing your nose to make you forget and reassure you that it was only a dream (it wasn’t).

---

Diavolo

Diavolo is so easily excitable, despite his age and title for the next Devil Lord, but honestly, he wants to take you to Iceland to see the Northern Lights that you spoke so fondly about.

There are so many pretty things to see in the Devildom alright, but none of them quite as fascinating to him as how the sky lights up with so many different and beautiful shades of green, blue and pink, it’s almost unreal!

Who would have thought that the Human world could hold such natural wonders?

He could have sword you were a witch or something, and just wanted to impress him with your magic, as if charming him wasn’t enough, but this beauty makes him behave even more like a child, leaving him speechless and breathless.

Diavolo would kiss and hug you, spinning your around so many times, if you allow him, you forgot to count, which is his way of thanking you for showing him this place and he’s honestly just so happy that he can share this precious moment together with you.

You tell him some old stories about how they say the ancestors’ souls watch over everyone from up there, and that even the animals who died have their souls there, living in peace and quiet.

Despite knowing it’s obviously not true, the tales humans come up with are so creative and make so much sense to their beliefs, he’s genuinely fascinated by all these old stories and would like for you to tell him more.

Iceland’s landscapes are also to be taken into account, and Diavolo will take thousands of pics of you literally everywhere, just because you’re so cute and he’s so damn happy and wants many memories together.

Would like for you to take a selfie with his phone, while at the Northern Lights, and would make Lucifer frame it so he can have it on his desk whenever he’s working, and whenever he gets bored, tired, or just misses you, he’d gaze fondly at the picture and would occasionally kiss it.

[atiny-ahgase]

A message to my Moots

Hey all, I originally wasn’t gonna do this cause I honestly didn't even know where to begin (I still don't tbh) but I said that I’ll still give it a try cause I wanted to tell you all my feelings before the new year rolls around (for me at least lol). So let’s get too it.

Firstly thank you to every single person that follows me, or has read any of my fics or liked any of my edits or even just interacted with me in any form. Thank you for the immense love and support that I’ve received on this site, honestly I didn't expect to make any friends here and the fact that I was able to meet and befriend so many amazing people. So I just wanna say thank you so much for being a part of my life. I’ve always put up walls and I’m really bad at getting close to others but Tumblr was the first site that I’ve really felt comfortable enough to be the real me. So thank you for that.

Now on to the Mentions

I had no idea how to start this so I decided to start at the beginning.

@mingishoe -Luna, you were the reason that I joined Tumblr in the first place, your fics brought me here and your interactions with other blogs opened up so many doors for me and helped me to interact and befriend so many amazing people. You were the first person that I ever sent an ask to, you made me feel so comfortable and welcome so thank you for that. Thank you for being you, a literal moon; bright and beautiful always lighting up the way. I honestly don't think that I would ever be able to explain how much I love, admire and look up to you, I honestly can’t find the words. Honestly, just thank you for being there for your little anon (Idk if you know which anon I am though lol)

@vocalyunho -Ames!!!!! The 2nd person that I followed! an absolute angel. You are such a calm soul and I just love your vibe and energy so much. I think that I’ve said this a million times but you just make me feel so safe and secure, you have such a calm and capable aura that is just so soothing to me. Thank you for coming into my life and being the amazing person that you are.

@jonghoshoe -ZAD!!! Baby Brother! My Teddy Bear! My Sunflower!! Where do I even begin?!? You were basically my first friend on Tumblr (and I am even more grateful to Luna cause I found you through her). IDK what it was about you but you had such an amazing out look on life while still being chaotic in the best way possible. I would wake up every morning and look out for your posts cause you would always make me smile. Without even knowing it you became a big part of my life and I am so grateful for that. You were my motivation when I was feeling down, you encouraged me to see the good things in the word, you hyped me up to write fics; honestly you are part of why I am the Gabby that I am today and I cant thank you enough for that, I love and admire you so much.

Next on my list is my little bunny @lustjoong -PK PK PK, my knee loving queen!!!! IDEK what to say cause I feel as though I confess my love to you at least twice a week on discord lol. I love talking with you, you're incredibly level headed and give amazing advice (which I always need cause I’m a mess lol). I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again that I admire you so much and would of never imagined that I would of ever gotten the chance to talk to you (much less be able to call you my friend) cause in my mind I always saw you as this amazing and untouchable writer (but then I realized that I’m taller than you so... lol I’m kidding). I’m happy that you found out that I was messaging you on anon and thank you for reaching out to me. I look forward to more chaotic conversations and knee pics in the new year.

@atiny-piratequeen -FIE I FREAKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT I MIGHT EXPLODE!! You fill me with so much life that I cant even begin to explain. I’ve said this a million times before but I love how you aren't afraid to speak you mind and say how you feel. You're such a strong figure to me here on the platform and I've always admired how natural and bold you are with your opinions. I find your personality to be extremely refreshing and welcoming, I was never afraid to interact with you (I combusted when you sent me an ask but that’s only natural..) so thank you for providing me (and a lot of other Atiny) with a safe and welcoming place that we can come to.

@twancingyunhoe -Allyssa!!! My mom!!!! My cookie baking, Yunho loving, cat mom!! where do I even begin?? Thank you for being an absolute angel! You shine so brightly here and you're always so supportive to literally everyone. I am and always will be there for you no matter what so I want you to remember that in the coming year. and remember that I love you in your highs and your lows and I am available to provide cuddles anytime they are needed or wanted cause you are precious to me ok luv.

@felixs-moonlight -my little duckling AJ!!! I’m wishing you the best in the new year cause that's what best bois deserve! You are so incredibly sweet and caring so don't you ever forget. Even if you do forget don't worry cause I will always be there to remind you.

@seoultraveller -Cat. Your presence makes me so happy!! IDEK what it is I just love seeing you on my dashboard, when I don't see you I wonder how you are. I hope that this new years is treating you well. Also, you are NOT boring and lets talk a lot more in the coming year okay luv

@yunhozone -Jey!! I miss you, I hope that you're well, its been raining lately so I hope that you're staying dry and safe. I love your boldness and sense of humor so please don't ever change. i started following you on a whim and I have never regretted following you ever since. You make me smile and laugh so much and I hope that I can do the same for you in the coming years. Stay safe okay luv

@pirate-hongjoong -Kayla, lets both talk more in the coming year ok luv. I pretty much told you everything that I wanted to on your post so I’ll try to keep this short. I think that you're really sweet and we should get to know each other more, I’ll try to reach out some more and be a little less shy. so lets continue to grow our friendship okay.

@taelepathysroom -You were the first friend that I made on Tumblr all on my own (meaning that I didn't see you interacting with a moot or anything, I found you all by myself) to this day I don't remember how I mustered up the bravery to message you. I remember wanting to message you on anon and realizing that you had anon off and I STILL went for it lol, apparently I was wilding. But that was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, I love talking with you and receiving all of your extremely important messages and I look forward to many more (my heart is not ready but it is fine).

@moongaera -Gaera you are such a great motivation to me and I’m so happy to be a part of your life. You are so sweet and incredibly talented. I love seeing you on my dashboard and talking with you cause you honestly make my heart want to explode.

@yungidreamer - Big sister!!!! Kelsi!!! My aesthetic queen who I am convince is tryna kill me on our discord chat you are so kind and helpful and give such great tips. You are such a calm soul and I love interacting with you (especially when things feel crazy) its like you just magically know the answer to everything.

@yunhoiseyecandy -Violet, we don't really talk much but I think that you're really cool and fun so lets talk lots in 2021 ok. Also IDK why I felt like this was the perfect place to post this but you're the only moot whos emoji pops up when I start to type their name in the hashtags and I always thought that its really cute. (You're also really cute). I think that we would be really good friends so I cant wait to talk with you more.

@hwaberrykiwi -CAM CAM CAM CAM CAM!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! You are so fun to talk to and so sweet and so calming and you make my heart feel like its bursting (in the best way possible). I hope that you're well and I look forward to sharing more moments here with you on Tumblr (and I am still keeping my promise of not eating Lemon Bars if they aren't from you so...)

@atinywrites -Angel!!! My precious, little angel who always attacks my poor little heart. I love your messages and how you just pop up randomly and shower me with love (then I read your posts and you're just straight up roasting people JBJDJFILJFISREHF) I love absolutely everything about you and I’m really happy that we met each other, I cant wait to see what 2021 has in store for us.

@choisans-dimples -Cass my dearest little Sugar Plum, apart from you being absolutely precious you are also extremely previous to me. I remember our first interactions and they still bring a smile to my face (we were like Tom and Jerry and honestly in a way we still are lol). But you mean so much to me and you never fail to make me laugh or smile no matter what is going on in my life. I wish for you to never lose that smile in 2021 and if it ever begins to falter just know that I’m here ok luv

@latte-fairytaekwoon -Latte, I’m not gonna lie; when Mei started adopting family members I felt like my brain was gonna explode but I gotta hand it to her cause she has great taste in family cause she chose you. If it wasn't for her then I probably would of never found you. if that happened then who would spoil me rotten?!? I am so happy to have met you I honestly thrive every time I see you on my dashboard, you are absolutely hilarious and I love to see your interactions. I cant wait to see what you do in 2021 and all of the other years to come. Thanks for being a great Tumblr Mom

@little-precious-baby -Mei, where do I begin?? You came out of no where for me, you just sort of appeared and then in the blink of an eye you became so dear to me. Id just find myself looking out for your posts and wondering how you are. IDK how to explain it but you've somehow managed to bring so many amazing individuals together in such a short time, you're absolutely amazing and I hope that one day you'll be able to see yourself the way that we already see you. Ik that things can be hard (and they will be because that’s life) but just know that this family that you helped to bring together is always here for you when you need someone to confide in and when it feels like its too much and you need a break we’ll be right here waiting for you until you come back. Just remember that your big sis loves you ok my little bean.

@ateez-little-star -JAS!!!!!! My babie sister IDK how to write this without crying cause you make me so happy that idek what to do. You are so bold and brave while still being shy and cute, I cant explain it. You are so wholesome to talk to and so fun and interesting and sweet and loveable! Like how could someone not love you!! Thank you for always checking up on me and showering me with love and just making me smile.

@yunhofingers -My sweet little bean who definitely never behaves badly!! I am sending you all of the positive vibes for the new year. Ik that things wont always be easy but just know that I’m always here and I believe in you. You are so sweet and kind and bold and I love that about you, don't ever change and thank you so much for making me smile; I hope that I can do the same for you in 2021 and beyond cause I hope that we can be friends for a really long time.

I also wanted to include the moots that I do interact with but I also want to talk to even more in the coming year. Thank you for being here for both me and other people in the kpop community. I love your blogs and you all are so incredibly kind (and ridiculously entertaining; I’m looking at you Caly and Vivi lol), I hope that we can become even better friends.

@hanatiny @sansbun @hongism @multidreams-and-desires @smallfrye @aixy-hpsa @galaxteez @jongpleasure @simphwa @inkigayeo @heeseungluvs

[gonebylouist]

To the people who keep sharing The Eternals' post credit scene...

I just got back from The Eternals, and can I just say that it was way better than I imagined. But then, I never thought it was going to be that terrible (I state: Thor The Dark World was worse worse worse). For new Marvel fans it might be confusing and overwhelming, like what in Heaven's name is The Blip? Just watch the other 20+ Marvel movies and you'll understand, kidding, you don't have to do that. Now, there is something else I wanted to address.

I, as a Marvel fan, am actually quite bothered by people who keep spreading the post credit scene from The Eternals online. And only because they don't care about the film, they just want to see Harry-

Hear me out, as a Marvel fan the post credits scenes are there to either highlight new things and to make bridges between films and aspects of the movie. It's a fun way to be excited for more and the best part is to wait in the cinema, with other Marvel fans, for that post credit scene.

It was painful not to have a post credit scene in the first released version of The Avengers End Game, but by sharing low quality stills an images, even videos of The Eternals' post credit scene, ruined a bit of the Marvel movie magic.

You can say, "then don't look" but that's fairly hard when you are being spammed on every platform. I am not only asking people to stop spoiling things for other Marvel fans, I also find it disrespectful to film in the cinema. It's just something you morally shouldn't do.

I was beyond excited when I heard this film was going to be released and I have been waiting for this film to drop ever since Marvel revealed they were making this. So, yes, speaking my mind, I was quite upset to have that extra special post credit scene partially ruined. And not because I went looking for it. I avoided news about The Eternals for as long as I could, but now people are continuously sharing it everywhere (without a spoiler alert) and then it is impossible for directioners/marvel fans to avoid it.

If you grew up watching Marvel ans going to the theatre to see the newly anticipated films, you would know how important those pist credit scenes are, and therefore, I am asking you not to share this post credit scene online.

People might feel like I am complaining, that was not my intention. I just wanted to speak my mind about this because no one was sharing the post credit scene from Black Widow, which was even more shocking than the one from The Eternals.

To Marvel fans post credit scenes are important, they are a part of the "Marvel-culture" and I would like people to respect that. Thank you.

Love always, Nico ♡︎

[joonsgotthejuice]

Lovers and Friends

Pairing: Shownu x Reader

Words: 3.4k

Genre: fluff, light smut

Summary: Shownu doesn’t quite understand how being friends with benefits works.

Warnings: shower sex, exhibitionism (if you squint)

A/N: My first MX fic! This idea hit me hard after reading this post, so I had to write it. Thank you hanbingf for the inspo! Hope you all enjoy it!

Shownu was infuriatingly beautiful. With a body carved from marble— worthy of being on display at the Met— and a smile that rivals the stars in the sky, it’s no wonder why he turns heads every time you two journey into town. If you were outside for longer than 10 minutes, chances are you’d catch someone gawking at him. It never fails. You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve caught someone staring from across the train platform. Or heard the soft giggling from a group of girls as you both walked by. You weren’t innocent either, however. More than once would you’ve watched his muscles ripple under his button-up as he reaches up to grab a glass from a high shelf. Just yesterday Jooheon had to pinch your arm to stop you from staring at Shownu’s ass. Changkyun’s chuckles as you hid your head in your arms would haunt you for at least the next two days. 

Shownu himself was soft-spoken and gentle, a contrast to his looks. You’ve watched many cashiers straighten up the slightest when seeing Shownu approaching the counter. A mix of intimidation and interest swirling in their eyes as this tall man with a stoic neutral face makes their way to them with items to ring up. Then they’d break into sweet smiles and blushes as Shownu asked them how their days were going with that caring look and sincere smile that’s been aimed at you many times before.

The only thing that was more infuriating than Shownu’s beauty was his modesty. He genuinely was clueless as to how appealing he was. When you tell him the woman at the front desk was giving him bedroom eyes he only blinks, ignorance clear in his face as he refutes the claim. You loved him, but he was so extremely oblivious that it genuinely astounded you. 

Admittedly, his lack of being able to take hints has worked in your favor at times. It was the reason your slight crush went unnoticed. While his closest friends would tease you in private about your lingering eyes, Shownu was none the wiser. It made your friendship easier knowing you didn’t have to worry about it.

Until it wasn’t just a friendship anymore.

The morning you woke up half laying on a naked Shownu, his morning wood pressed against your leg, was the day that changed. After a small freak out and an awkward couple of minutes trying to not stare at his abs as you spoke about what occurred the night before, you both agreed that the sex was great and you wanted it to happen again. However, you weren’t too sure you could handle any romantic relations, so you made the suggestion as casual as possible. 

“We could just, do— you know— this, again. Whenever you want. Just shoot me a text.”

Your face was as nonchalant as you could make it but internally you were hoping for the ground to open and swallow you whole. To your surprise, Shownu nodded in agreement and thus the arrangement of being friends with benefits started. 

It took getting a little tipsy to get the courage to text him to come over for your first official hook up, but over the past few months, it’s gotten extremely easy to send that 1 am text. He’d come and fuck your brains out in the dead of night, then make you breakfast the next morning before kissing your forehead and going back home. Or you’d go over to his place when you were feeling extremely risque. 

Unlike you, Shownu lived with multiple of his close friends. He preferred to come to yours since he could be as loud as he wanted but you’ve convinced him to sneak you in once everyone was asleep for some fun. To your pleasure and surprise, he’s grown to like the concept of possibly getting caught. Hands down the hottest sex you’ve had with him was in the shower the morning after a hookup. 

It was 7 am, so you both were sure that you could have some quick fun in the shower before the others woke up. Your hands were splayed on the tiled wall in front of you as Shownu’s hands pulled you back into his thrusts. He was balls deep in you when a knock sounded through the door. Your eyes widened as he froze. You look over your shoulder at him but he was already looking to his left as if he could see the door to the bathroom through the dense shower curtains. You could tell by the look on his face he was unsure of what to do. There was another knock at the door, more impatient now. 

“Uh, yeah?” Shownu called out, eyes locking with yours.

“I need to pee!” Jooheon whines, shifting his weight from his left foot to his right foot.

“Can you come back in 10 minutes?”

“It’s realllly bad, just let me come in please!” Jooheon pleads.

Jooheon was the only person you knew who could verbalize a pout. He was not the youngest in the house but he was used to getting his way and in turn, was a little bit bratty. Shownu especially spoiled him so you were curious about what his next move would be. Neither of you had decided to enlighten your friends about your arrangement and you didn’t exactly want to explain to Jooheon what you were doing getting your guts rearranged by one of his best friends in the shower. 

Shownu glances at the curtain, then you again before a wicked grin spread across his face. 

“Come in!” He calls out and you open your mouth to protest but then the door opens and Shownu covers your mouth with his hand, slowing down his thrusts but making sure to slide every inch of him inside you. 

“Thank fuck. Thank you.” Jooheon says hurriedly as he enters the bathroom. 

You swallow thickly as you become hyperaware of the fact that less than 3 feet away stood one of your friends, clueless to the fact that you were at his place let alone fucking his best friend. The thought was slightly worrying but you couldn’t deny the thrill of this. Your walls clenching around Shownu was enough to clue him in that you were enjoying this albeit your cheeks being red with embarrassment. 

“You like this, don’t you? Knowing Jooheon is right on the other side of that curtain, completely unaware that you’re in here with me.” Shownu husks into your ear, his chest pressed against your back as his lips ghost over your ear.

You whimper softly, eyes squeezing shut as you will yourself to not moan out loud. The water can only drown out so much sound. Shownu’s chest vibrates against your back as he chuckles softly, his free hand moving from your hip to your clit and rubbing slow, careful circles. Half of you was thankful that he was moving slowly so it was easier to keep quiet, but the other half wanted to slap him for the teasing drag of his cock against your walls. 

After what felt like the longest piss known to man, Jooheon finally flushes and washes his hands before leaving the bathroom.

“I hate you.” You say the moment Shownu’s hand leaves your mouth. 

“I love you.” He responds without missing a beat, his lips curling into his signature smile.

Your response is lost on your tongue as your heart leaps into your throat. He’s always said those three words to you every time you ended a phone call or parted ways after a day of hanging out. But right now when he’s still slowly thrusting into you and staring deep into your eyes with nothing but adoration and warmth in his, it was slightly overwhelming. That desire you hid deep inside of you once you started this arrangement comes bursting to the surface. The desire for this to be something more than a fun hookup. The desire for this to become permanent.

“Hey, did I upset you by letting Jooheon in? I’m sorry if I crossed a line and you didn’t really want him to come in.” Shownu’s voice breaks your thought as his hips still.

“No, no no. I liked it! You felt it, I enjoyed it. It was hot.” You reassure him as you turn around to face him.

“Well, why are you so quiet? I said I love you.” Shownu asks, his tone deflating a bit.

An upset Shownu was high on the list of things you hated to see. So against your better judgment, you cupped his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss. Shownu made a small sound of shock before his hands found your waist and he returned the kiss. You pull away a few moments later, eyes still closed as you revel in the fantasy in your head for a little while. When you open your eyes, Shownu is already looking at you.

“I love you too.” You reply surely as your thumb caresses his cheek. 

The words held a different weight this time. You wondered if he would understand that. The answer to your question isn’t clear since Shownu’s response is only a smile.

As time progressed and you learned more about each other’s bodies, you found yourself treading into dangerous territory. You knew the post-sex cuddling was a bad idea but you wanted to feed that small part of you that wanted to be with Shownu. The problem was it was getting greedier and greedier and you didn’t know what to do. Had this been anyone else you’d have cut this short a while ago, but this was Shownu. He was a huge part of your life for the past 3 years, cutting him off was not an option.

Ultimately, you decided to ignore it. This was casual sex, nothing more and you shouldn’t get your hopes up. 

Yet you still found your heart crumbling when Shownu drops the bomb on you.

The two of you were chilling on the couch, watching some random Netflix original with his housemates. Your legs were laying in his lap as you both huddled under a blanket. You were zoned out for a moment, once again contemplating the position you were in with Shownu when something Wonho says catches your attention.

“Shownu, you’ve been a bit more upbeat lately.” Wonho leans over the arm of the couch he’s on, a teasing smirk on his face. “And I noticed some marks on you when we were working out this morning.”

“Ooo, Shownu you’ve been fucking someone? Never thought I’d see the day.” Changkyun chimes in from his spot on the floor. 

You laugh along with Jooheon as Shownu shakes his head. 

“At least he’s getting some, you can’t say the same can you, Kyunie?” Jooheon teases before dodging a pillow Changkyun launches his way.

“Lucky I’m too lazy to get up.” Changkyun murmurs as Jooheon’s laughs get louder.

“Anyway!” Wonho calls the attention back to him. “So, you got a girlfriend?”

The room is quiet except for the movie playing in the background. 7 pairs of eyes on Shownu, waiting for a response.

You two weren’t a couple at all despite the fact you wouldn’t be against it. So the last thing you expect to hear Shownu say is— 

“Yes.”

The boys erupt, immediately asking questions. When will they meet her? Where did he meet her? Why didn’t he tell them earlier? But they all fell on deaf ears as you sit up straight. 

A girlfriend? You never thought about the possibility of Shownu seeing someone else alongside you. He had no reason to be committed to you and people hit on him left and right so what was stopping him? You never talked about being exclusive, but it had been for you. You weren’t with anyone else. Knowing that he had a girlfriend and you were the side chick in this situation made your stomach drop and you wanted to cry. 

At least initially. 

That sadness quickly morphed into burning hot anger. You stood up and pushed your way passed Kihyun, going down the hall to Shownu’s room and shutting the door forcefully behind you. 

You hastily take off the shirt and basketball shorts you borrowed from Shownu and start putting on your clothes with the intention of leaving. The last thing you wanted was to be near him. You needed to go. Clear your head and figure out what to do next. You had no one to blame but yourself when it came to why you were the side chick. You remind yourself that you didn’t mention exclusivity or any romantic relationship of any sort. You brought up the casual aspect of this arrangement. However, it was FWB 101 to make your fuck buddy aware if you were with more than just them. What if he caught something and gave it to you? Yes, you usually use condoms but sometimes in the heat of the moment you both forgot but you never worried because you were sure he was clean and wouldn’t endanger you like that. 

Yet here he was, with a whole girlfriend. 

Did she know about you? If he kept her from you then he must be keeping you from her too, right? This revelation only made you more pissed. So much so that you don’t register the bedroom door opening and closing behind you.

“What’s wrong?” Shownu asks, tone soft and worried.

It took everything in you not to scoff at him as you pull up your jeans and button them. 

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” You repeat, giving him a look of disbelief. “You can’t be serious right now Shownu.”

“I’m very serious. You left in a huff and I don’t know why.”

“Then stay confused while I go for a walk.” You respond, pulling your jacket on.

You try to walk around him but he moves in front of you.

“No. I’m not letting you run out of here unhappy. What’s wrong?” He asks again, putting his hands on your shoulders.

“Don’t touch me right now!” You shrug his hands off and move away from him.

Your outburst makes Shownu raise his eyebrows. You rarely, if ever, raise your voice at him with legitimate anger.

“You got some nerve, you know that?” You face his window, watching traffic pass by and the sun setting. The sky’s colorful display eased you slightly, but Shownu speaking brought back the irritation full force.

“You’re mad at me? What did I do?”

Your foot taps rapidly on the floor as you decide on the right thing to say. 

“How long?” 

When your question is met with no response you turn to look at Shownu. You wanted to slap the confused and oblivious look off his face but you restrain yourself and keep your distance from him. 

“How long...?” 

“How long have you been hiding your girlfriend from me?”

Shownu tilts his head, confused look intensifying. 

“Hiding my girlfriend?” He repeats, the look on his face shifting from confusion to slight bewilderment.

“Stop playing dumb Shownu! Just be honest with me. Why didn’t you tell me you were with someone else? That’s something you’re supposed to communicate to me.” You manage to lower your voice, reining in your frustration.

There was still a group of men just down the hall and you didn’t want them to hear you.

“With someone else?”

“If you repeat what I say one more time I swear I’m gonna slap fire outta you.” You snarl through grit teeth. 

“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to understand you because you’re not making any sense.”  Shownu holds his hands up in surrender and stepping out of slapping range. 

“Okay. Okay, fine.” You rub your temples as you take a deep breath. “Let’s break this down. You are fucking someone else besides me. You didn’t think to tell me. That is why I am mad.” 

“But I’m not sleeping with anyone else.” Shownu shakes his head to emphasize his point. 

“You just told them you had a girlfriend!” You point at the door as if the others were standing out there instead of in the living room.

“You are my girlfriend! I’m sorry if you weren’t ready for me to tell them anything but I didn’t have any other way to explain the marks. I panicked a bit.”

All the tension leaves your body, shoulders slumping as you stare at Shownu dumbfounded.

“Huh?” was the only response you could muster up. His words replay in your head and then it all clicks.

He was talking about you. There was no other girl. He hadn’t been hiding anything or anyone from you. You open and close your mouth several times, trying to find a reply that felt right.

“So back there in the living room, you meant me? I’m your girlfriend?” 

Even though the answer was staring you in the face, you had to get 100% clarity. 

“Yes? I mean, I thought since we— you know— had sex that we were together? Friends don’t have sex. So by continuing to sleep together, I thought we were casually stepping into the boyfriend-girlfriend territory? Unless we’re not and I understood everything wrong.” Shownu’s voice gets quieter as he keeps talking, uncertainty becoming more and more evident with each word that slips through his lips.

He shoves his hands into his pocket, eyes looking around the room instead of staying on you. A telltale sign he was feeling embarrassed. 

“I should have asked for clarification about us— about this whole thing. We don’t have to be together if you don’t want to be. I’ll go back out there and tell the guys-”

You cut off Shownu’s rambling by kissing him softly, hand resting on the back of his neck. A pair of familiar gentle hands find their way to your waist, as you deepen the kiss. Shownu matches your pace easily once his initial shock wears off. When you pull away from him, Shownu looks at you with that oblivious face for the umpteenth time. 

“Now I’m confused again.” Shownu frowns a bit and you chuckle. 

“Don’t be. I’ll be clear and honest. I want to be with you. I want to be your girlfriend. I would like for you to be my boyfriend if you’re willing to have me.”

“I’d really like that a lot. I like you a lot.” He gently takes your hand, thumb brushing over your knuckles.

You look down at your hands before interlocking your fingers with his.

“Same here.”

Shownu pulls you into a hug, arms wrapping around you and holding you snug against him. While enjoying the close embrace, a question does come to your mind.

“You didn’t think it was weird that we didn’t go on dates?” You ask with a chuckle. 

“I thought of breakfast in the morning as a date of sorts.” He rubs the back of his neck, “Just spending time together was enough for me. Official date or not.”

The grin that spread across your face was involuntary, as was you pulling Shownu into another kiss. His sweet words were enough to make your chest bloom with warmth and the feeling only intensified when you realize this would be a common occurrence now. Shownu as a friend was already doting, but now the affection would increase tenfold. 

When you two separate from each other, Shownu has a fond look on his face as he rubs your back. 

“Still gonna leave?” 

You shake your head, “No need anymore. Let’s go back out there.”

Shownu nods before turning around to open the door. He’s about to step through the threshold when you take his hand again. He glances down at your locked hands, then at you. 

“You sure?” 

You knew walking back in there holding hands would only incite a flurry of accusations and questions from the others, but you didn’t care. Shownu was yours now. That wasn’t something to hide. You wanted everyone to know, starting with your closest friends.

“Very.” You nod your head surely.

He squeezes your hand before leading the way back to the living room. Your heart was hammering in your chest as you approached the end of the hall but a glance at Shownu calmed you. If he was by your side, you could do anything. It was true as friends, and it would continue to be true as lovers.

“Hey, Shownu?” You stop right before crossing into the living room.

“Hm?” He turns his head to look at you.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”