#this message will self-destruct in 5 seconds

[saintormentor]

dirty voicemails c. s

in which . . . chris sends you voicemails of him fucking other girls after the breakup, but why did he call out your name?

content warnings . . . voicemail-style formatting, sexual content involving third parties, emotionally manipulative behavior, degradation / humiliation, possessiveness / jealousy, toxic relationship themes, crying during sex ( implied emotional breakdowns ), references to alcohol and intoxication, masturbation / audio voyeurism, implied dubcon ( in tone, not literal non-consent) , heartbreak / emotional distress, gaslighting / obsessive ex behavior, self-destructive language, graphic language, suggestive audio description breakup aftermath / longing

voicemail #1 . . . 1:24am

“mhm… fuck, yeah, just like that—shit, baby.” panting. soft moans in the background.

he laughs. smug, loose. definitely drunk.

“you hear her? she sounds better than you ever did beggin’ for it.”

a wet slap. another moan. his voice dips—low, cruel.

“i’d tell you to block me, but we both know you won’t.” click.

voicemail #2 . . . 11:09pm

music in the back. maybe a party. girls giggling.

“she’s got a tongue ring. you ever think about getting one?” he’s chewing gum.

a girl moans again. muffled.

“she’s gagging all over me. you’d probably cry.”

another voice, asking who he’s talking to.

“don’t worry ‘bout it, baby. just an old friend.” click.

voicemail #3 . . . 3:32am

quiet. rain pattering outside. just his voice this time.

“y’know, i woke up and reached for you. stupid, right?”

he sniffles. sighs.

“i miss the way you’d hum when you brushed your teeth.”

a pause. his breath hitches.

“whatever. fuck you. i’m fine.” click.

voicemail #4 . . . 9:14pm

“she doesn’t talk back. you’d hate her.”

a sharp breath. skin hitting skin again. he groans, dragging it out.

“she lets me do whatever i want. that’s what i wanted. someone more… obedient.”

silence.

“but she doesn’t make me feel shit.” click.

voicemail #5 . . . 1:47am

laughter. his. and a girl’s. slurred, obnoxious.

“nah, don’t worry, baby—she can’t hear this. but you can, can’t you?”

wet, squelching sounds. breathy moans.

he gets close to the mic. you can hear the bass in his chest.

“miss the way you used to sob for it. fuck. that was art.” click.

voicemail #6 . . . 4:56pm

“saw your new post.”

he sounds annoyed. possessive.

“you wore that top on our second date. what, tryin’ to send a message?”

“you looked good. like… too good.”

“i bet you’re fucking someone. he fuck you like i l do?” click.

voicemail #7 . . . 2:11am

there’s crying. not his.

“she’s crying. i told her i couldn’t stop thinking about someone else.”

a door shuts. a silence. then he breathes out.

“you fucking ruined me.”

long pause.

“you win.” click.

voicemail #8 . . . 5:03am

he sounds wrecked. raspy. low and drunk and unraveling.

“baby… fuck… fuck, you always took me so good—shit—i keep fucking them like they’re you.”

he moans. clearly jerking off.

“miss you. miss your thighs. your throat. your smart ass mouth. tight fucking cunt.”

a growl. a desperate groan.

“god, [your name]—fuck, i—”

click.

a / n . . . credits to whoever first came up with this! couldn’t find out who, but this is not my original idea! also, this series depicts an unhealthy, obsessive dynamic. not a romantic portrayal — read with caution and take care of yourself.

[vintage-tech]

Soundmaster reel tape recorder. What you carried to class before you had a cassette recorder. Or minicassette recorder. Or digital audio recorder. Or your cell phone.

[andaniellight]

Ethan's absolute hatred and disgust towards AI that can mimic and duplicate human mannerism because the Entity tricked and almost lured him to his demise by using Benji's voice, someone he'd trust and trail after blindly to the end of the world

VS

Ethan having to stop every now and then as he goes on with his days because he's so used to being reminded by Luther about things he'd often forget, little things that'd slipped from his mind as his head injuries and age finally catch up with him, slowly realizing that perhaps one day, although he did promise that he'll continue living while dragging Benji along with him no matter what, now isn't so sure if he wants to actually live long enough to forget the sound of his old friends voice

[hellfiresky]

GAR ALL PERSONNEL BROADCAST

Pairing: This is the most random mix possible. From RCs to my own OCs (fully developed ones you can meet in my fics) and new faces I made up on the spot.

Summary: Not my first time making clone group chats, but my first time posting one as a standalone! It’s exactly what it sounds like: millions of clones stuck in one galaxy-wide all-personnel group chat. GFFA data service and tech are apparently so powerful. You leave the chat for one minute and there’s already +6000 messages. Absolutely unmanageable. Mods are barely holding it together.

Mod list: Boss, Cody, Alpha-17, Bacara, Jesse (somehow he made it among officers), Gree, Sinker (somehow he made it too), Ordo, Fi

Warnings: nothing. Crack ahead. EVERYONE LIVES.

Taglist: @orangez3st - also because this crack came up in our chat 💀

GAR ALL PERSONNEL BROADCAST

📌 PINNED MESSAGE (edited 3 hours ago by Jesse):

Welcome to ALL PERSONNEL BROADCAST – this is the official GAR-wide channel.

Rules (because apparently we need them):

1. No thirst trap reviews.

2. Use threads. For the love of Prime.

3. Be kind. No inter-unit war. Mods will smite you.

4. If you see General Kenobi or General Skywalker join, act normal.

5. No one wants to hear your datapad mix at 0300

6. Any dream involving General Mundi is a YOU problem.

7. DO NOT EVER add civvies, Jedi, or your Mandalorian buire (looking at you, Skirata’s sons).

8. Please remember: Alpha-17 is reading AND modding.

9. Emotional breakdowns permitted on Primeday only.

10. The “clones tier list” thread is banned. Forever.

(This week’s special rule: If you see Marshal Commander Cody typing, stop what you’re doing and reflect on your sins.)

Current mod on duty: Ordo Skirata

Most recent muted user: Dickies from the 41st Elite Corps (for sending an unsolicited Niamos karaoke as a bit).

Server uptime: 99.7% (dropped after Marshal Commander Fox rage-quit and rebooted the network)

——

CT-339821: i texted her “what if we kissed in the AT-TE maintenance hangar 🥺👉👈”

CT-898421: real ones know there’s no better first date than taking apart a blaster

Ridge: y’all got dates??? 😐

Hardcase: i got RIZZ

Echo: please stop using that word.

Jesse (mod): no he’s right tho. hardcase got this weird situational rizz. 3 seconds max and then he self-destructs

Kix: idk what’s worse, the medbay smell or watching y’all exchange your pickup lines in this chat like it’s 79’s fresher line at midnight

Sinker (mod): just woke up to 6,902 unread messages what the actual kriff is going on here

Scorch: *sends tooka memes*

Cody (mod): STOP SPAMMING. THIS IS NOT FOR MEMES.

Boil: but sir we had an important discussion about if clones could beat a rancor with bare hands (probably buried. scroll up for context!)

Boss (mod): No. You could not.

Fi (mod): I could

Niner: Omega fucking wins again

Ordo (mod): No you couldn’t, Fi. You whined when you stubbed your toe on Dar’s gear bag.

Alpha-17 (mod): If i see one more picture of some shiny’s helmet next to a mug of caf and a datapad with the caption “just Centaxday tings” I’m purging this entire network

Parts: sir u just don’t understand ✨aesthetic✨

Gree (mod): boys, boys. please. some of us are trying to maintain a reputation here.

Bly: Reputation as what gree. The funky lil trooper figurines collector???

Wolffe: YOU PROMISED YOU’D STOP MENTIONING THE FIGURINES

CT-8364: With all due respect, sir. That’s such an L

Wolffe: Trip, right? Latrine duty. Now.

Bacara (mod): What’s an L?

Jesse (mod): ok ok back to business. shinies been saying some wild shit. translation thread starting now. drop your questions sirs

Boss (mod): What does “ate” mean? What did Rex eat on Umbara?

Rex: rations and sterile milk

Fives: shut the fuck up rex you can’t be that dense

Dogma: Wow, ARC title allows you to talk osik to your superior?

Jesse (mod): shut up dog

Echo: shut up dogma

Fives: SHUT UP, DOGMA!

Nax: Thanks, guys, he’s sulking again and stole the console. It was supposed to be my turn to play Battle Star.

Hardcase: i WILL beat him and he will SULK even more

Sinker (mod): “ate” -> Translation: He did well. Usage: “Captain Rex really ate during that campaign on Umbara 🔥”

Boss (mod): What’s the significance of eating and performing?

Fixer: @Scorch get him

Scorch: On my way! 🫵🏾🤣💥

Fi (mod): Okay i’m starting a new thread called “Fever Dreams” for funsies! Drop your weirdest dreams. go!

Comet: I dreamt I was a loaf of bread being sliced by General Plo. He was gentle.

CC-IMMUNE: dreamt i had to re-certify my shooting skills and the blaster was a frog. General Yoda had to tame it

Nate: Dreamt that Kit Fisto told me he was proud of me. I woke up sobbing

Jangotat: CT-92-1786, oh you’re the one who adopted my former name.

Bacara (mod): Not gonna happen, kid. @Nate

Advisor: Dear all, please avoid going to Mess Hall B98 at the Republic Military Base from 1300 to 1800 tomorrow. There will be a demolition experts meet up.

Cody (mod): Thank you, Addy.

Bacara (mod): Well noted.

Fox: Thanks. Please contact Thire for all base announcements.

Sev: what did i miss i was asleep

Jesse (mod): dreams. drop yours and be weird about it.

Sev: i dreamt i was in a hot spring on hoth with the Delta Squad. but the water was beer. Fixer had eggs for eyes. Scorch was a sentient kettle. Boss was Boss.

Fi (mod): EXACTLY the kind of sick shit I wanted

Ordo (mod): I always pick the wrong time modding

CT-78927: one time i dreamt we were all assigned emotions like that animated holofilm. i got “mild disappointment”, CT-78928 got “suppressed anger”

Bacara (mod): @Keeli aren’t those your kids?

Keeli: Yeah. The weird ones are mine, sir.

Hound: I had a dream where I adopted at least 60 massiffs

Wrecker: I DREAMT I WAS DATING A THERMAL DETONATOR and SHE WAS SHY BUT SWEET 🫵🏾 WHEN SHE BLEW UP, SHE SAID “I’M SORRY IT HAD TO BE THIS WAY” AND KISSED ME. BOOM! DREAM!

Crosshair: I’m banning you from sleeping in the armoury

Parts: dreamt i was in 79’s, but the band was made of Jedi. Obi-Wan on drums. Anakin on bass. Kit on guitar. Plo on keys. Mace crowd surfed. i got kicked in the face and thanked him 🫡

Thorn: i dreamt i was chasing paperwork and every time i got close it changed into a new form. i woke up and it was real

Fox: We shared the same dream, vod.

Gree (mod): last night i dreamt i was a lamp in the Jedi Council chamber.

Boss (mod): All of you need psychological help

Jesse (mod): Boss pls drop ur weird dream or we’re revoking ur mod card

Boss (mod): I dreamt I got demoted and had to lead base tours for civilians in @Part’s drag sash. Walon Vau hugged me, and I woke up sweating.

Ordo (mod): weirdest part is Vau showing affection

Fi (mod): ok that concludes Fever Dreams. you lot are unwell. i’m proud of us.

Alpha-17 (mod): Everyone logging into this thread is being scheduled for mandatory psych eval. Even me. Especially me.

Tup: okay but hear me out, what does it mean if i dreamt the clones were all in a musical called Buirmia! and Captain Rex had a solo called “Order 69” whilst Commander Fox tap danced in a turbolift in 1313 and Commander Cody did a duet with General Kenobi

Echo: it means we all need to go to sleep and never wake up

Omega: This looks fun! What are you guys talking about? 🤭

Echo: CLOSE YOUR EYES

Echo: WHO GAVE THE KID ACCESS?!

Hunter, Tech, Crosshair, and Wrecker left

Sister: This is why I told you it was a bad idea to join this broadcast @Emerie

Emerie left

[homestuckreplay]

Mail Delivered x3 Combo

(page 1942-1953)

Return of Rose’s GameFAQ

‘In my hubris I believed these classes were relegated to the Earth-bound, but in even this quaint supposition I was in error. Our otherworldly antagonists have assured us of our inevitable failure repeatedly, while the gods whisper corroboration in my sleep. I believe them now.’ (p.1942)

With ‘Rose: Egress’ at the top of her entry, Rose gives herself a command, which is the first sign that she’s taking matters into her own hands. Rose realizes that she’s been told repeatedly that following Sburb’s rules will lead to an unfavorable outcome, so in her mind, she has nothing to lose by trying something else. It’s not unlike gallowsCalibrator’s attempts to ‘FUCK UP TH3 T1M3L1N3’ with John (p.1580), except she was being more nihilistic and acting for her own entertainment, while Rose genuinely believes there might still be a way to succeed and is willing to try anything to make that happen.

@tenaciouschronicler suggested that Rose’s erratic behavior is a result of her dream selves merging, which fits the timeline really well – Rose’s future dream self takes over from her current one, then she sleeps and communes with the gods for the first time (in this timeline), then she wakes up and quickly starts alchemizing with the grimoire, without many steps in between. Rose’s dream self knows what it’s like to be doomed with no hope of survival, and she’s brought that attitude back to the main timeline. Yes, she’s trying to help Rose, but things that were safe in the failed timeline because there were fewer consequences – like trusting the gods – are much more dangerous here.

In the failed timeline, Rose’s mission was to ‘gather information, and avoid repeating mistakes’ (p.1643), and now she’s going to ‘fly around this candy-coated rock and comb the white sand until [she] find[s] answers’ (p.1942). She definitely believes in knowledge being power, a theme that I think Complacency of the Learned is trying to explore. According to her, there’s no use in progressing through the game if she doesn’t know why she’s doing it or what the end result will be, an attitude none of her friends seem to share. I would not be surprised if she disconnects from them entirely in Act 5, and stops answering their messages.

I’ve been comparing Rose and Jack a lot and I stand by it – both of them are singlemindedly goal-oriented, both power-hungry and destructive in pursuit of those goals, and both messing with forces they weren’t supposed to according to Skaia’s grand plan. I don’t know Jack’s opinions on the gods of the Furthest Ring, but I’d be fascinated to see he and Rose team up.

Originally, Rose wrote her GameFAQs to help other people on Earth who were playing Sburb. Earth seems very small to someone who’s now using an entire planet as her playground. So, she’s entrusting her walkthrough to the gods and distributing it to other planets entirely. I see this as an act of defiance instead of altruism – Rose is sending a message to Skaia that not only will she try to counter its plans in this session, she’ll try to get other players to do the same in other sessions. Leaving a Sburb walkthrough in the Furthest Ring is sort of like leaving a passive-aggressive thank you note on the fridge when your new opponent is an unknowable cosmic force.

Wayward Vagabond

The warweary calls another broken planet home, another cloth his garb. Land and rags fit for the wayward. A villein becomes a vagabond. (p.1943)

I really love the writing style of this section. It’s similar to John’s ectobiology sequence, with its simple and repetitive sentence structures. A story told not in the second person like most of Homestuck, but a far more abstracted and zoomed out third person, where deeply emotional and story-defining events are presented dispassionately for the reader to fill in with their own feelings – ‘An old mother lost today, but a new son gained’ (p.1883). In my opinion, it works because Homestuck’s narrative text, much like Rose Lalonde, often uses unnecessarily complex words and winding sentences, sometimes to the point of comedy. When it strips that back, it’s noticeable, and it makes things feel more important, not less – the importance of these sections is self-evident without the language having to play it up.

Seeing the exiles move from their past to future identities makes me feel a lot of things all at once – it’s satisfying, devastating, bittersweet. They’ve all either failed in their session, or they’ve succeeded, but the cost wasn’t worth it. But, now they have a new planet, a new purpose, and a chance to move on from what’s happened before. WV dons the RAG OF SOULS, aka John’s dream ghost bedsheet, which to me is a reminder of all the soldiers he marched with and lost, carrying their memories with him.

sidenote: destroying puppets is a recurring motif? John slices a piece off the harlequin doll in Act 1, Dave bisects a LOT of Smuppets in Act 2, waking Lil Cal gets torn in two in Act 3, and now WV rips apart the Jack puppet. what’s up with that? something to keep an eye on.

John is confronted with the reality of Jade’s death, and thinks to take her ring as a keepsake, with no idea of the power it holds. Immediately after Jade’s cloud visions end, John gets his first one,

Jade would’ve loved showing John around Prospit, taking him to her favorite places and introducing him to all the agents. It would’ve been her first in-person meeting with a human friend, in her whole life. She’s said before that she ‘really want[s] to tell [John] all this stuff’ (p.652) but can’t until he wakes up, and in the end, they just missed each other. For John, this is like when he crashlanded in Rose’s room only to find her asleep, and they didn’t get the chance to hang out – only this is far more permanent. And John is so new to all of this, he probably has no idea that waking Jade might still be alive. Nanna died on the day John was born, he never knew her, her loss was always abstract to him. This is one of the people he loves most in the world.

So of course, he squashes it down and follows the visions to a castle on the battlefield. I mean, what else is he supposed to do? Hold a funeral in the middle of a burning Skaia? Freeze in place, cry, give up? It’s not a situation where his free will is taken from him by player or exile commands or closing a loop. There’s just no other course of action. Somehow that’s much sadder.

Peregrine Mendicant

‘The mail is delivered. An obligation, satisfied.’ (p.1953)

When PM is exiled, she wraps herself in Prospit’s banners from the battlefield, maybe to remind herself of the cause she was doing all this for – a cause that must seem lost now that the White King is dead and the White Queen has vanished. WV feels no allegiance to Derse, but PM does feel that connection to Prospit, even after she’s handed over its crowns to the other side. It’s interesting to look back at PM’s later reunion with the White Queen (p.1610-1, 1622-3) and wonder if she feels any guilt. Did the ends justify the means for her? Would WQ be proud if she knew the extent of PM’s actions, or horrified? Do PM’s actions with the package make her fit or unfit to be a ruler? I don’t have answers, but I really hope this isn’t the last we see of these exiles.

The last time PM was seen was in ‘[S] WV: Rise up’, where she’d been tailed by the Hegemonic Brute. Here, she’s murdered him to get her hands on his radio device. HB may have attacked her first on Jack’s orders, but it’s ambiguous – PM may have slaughtered him in cold blood. I like that ambiguity for someone supposedly on the side of light, and given that HB is capable of lifting a safe multiple times his size (p.957) and decapitating someone in one bite (p.1315), this makes PM a cutthroat and capable fighter either way. Her clothes are torn and she’s spattered with blood, but again like Jack and Rose, all in service of a goal. And the panel where she radios Jack is powerful, framed as though we're in HB's position, looking up at our killer right as we bleed out.

Jack didn’t entirely play fair with PM’s mission – he sent the Courtyard Droll to steal the queen’s ring from her, and HB to follow her, possibly with intent to interfere. But at the end of the day, she outsmarts his interference, and they had a bargain: ‘Bring him the crowns. He'll give you the box.’ (p.1554). When she manages step one, he fulfils step two, even though it puts him in a worse position to hand over the box, and he’s probably capable of just killing PM with no consequences. Like his leaving WV alive, this is another sign that Jack isn’t just mindlessly slaughtering, he’s consciously acting. That means he can be reasoned with.

PM finds the package’s recipient and hands it over, but there’s none of the joy in her success that she felt with her other successful deliveries (p.1128, 1482). She thrusts it at him unceremoniously and leaves, thinking of this as an ‘obligation’ instead of a passion. To be fair, she and John must be on the same page – this is probably the worst moment for him to receive Jade’s package. But, for people who love their work, which PM is definitely one of, I think there’s a huge divide between those that quit when that love goes away, and those that keep going even when it’s no longer fun. Those are two very different types of people, and it’s clear which side PM is on.

[jeaninelatragedia]

for the get to know the blogger thing, how did you and sylvia meet! i don't think i know the story (other than vaguely "it was online")

hmm. i'll answer this in full at risk of oversharing.

it's 2019. i'm fifteen years old. i'm pseudo out as trans in a school that is rapidly decaying my grasp of reality by being so dissonant away from my general life (rich kid vaguely liberal gringo larping private school). i'm recently realized as plural. i'm, like most teenagers, sexual and insane. i have no outlet for this. i am bilingual, i go online.

i have a recently made twitter account. it sucks. i hate it. i have a tumblr. i don't "get" what i'm supposed to do with tumblr so i don't go in as much. the year prior i finished reading homestuck and it's still on my mind. i listen to podcasts, particularly a short lived production company called lunar light studio.

i am on twitter. i'm mutuals with someone. we're not "friends", but we're the same age. we both made private vent accounts and follow them. i'm mildly attatched to them hoping things occur around them because nothing happens in my life. so it goes.

one of their other mutuals starts posting self destructive things. she looks witty and interesting and i'm drawn in by her. i dm her out of the blue, self destructive too, but subdued, and less overt. certainly no better though.

we hit it off. we mess with each other. we hurt each other in weird esoteric internet ways. by october of 2020 we try to be somewhat less insane, and start dating. it doesn't quite work out. a couple of ebbs and flows and a few ego deaths later we fall out hard. it's really brutal, in the way only teenage internet drama can be. but i can't get her out of my mind, and i am hit with a moment of clarity where for a second i feel like i understand exactly every single factor at play that caused our issues to happen the way they did. and i know how to fix it. i message her at midnight, june 23rd (23/06). we stay up until 4 am for me, 5 am for her. we get back together. we haven't been apart since.

[ninihunt]

𝕺𝖕𝖕𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝕺𝖇𝖘𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖔𝖓 𝖆 𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓|| Part 1

The Enemies We Became ────୨ৎ──── ETHAN HUNT x FEM READER

Summary: You are an agent who works for the IMF. After you received your mission, you were informed that Ethan Hunt had recruited you to his team. However, bitter pasts haunt you throughout the mission. And it's all up to you and Ethan to set them right as you and the team try to hunt and stop the Entity from starting a nuclear war between the countries of the world.

Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Slow-Burn, Ethan hunt being an ass towards the reader ( well, at first😉), Mission: Impossible ( Dead and Final Reckoning)

Warnings: Nope

Word count: 1142 (it's short, sorry)

You were in an IMF safehouse. Always appreciated them. They were just as beautiful, functional as your own house. You were seated on the couch, a black leather couch, with recliners and all. You were staring at the photos you hung up on the wall. Pictures you took when you were in France, London, and many other places with your Ex-bestfriend,Ethan Hunt. Emphasis on "Ex", but more on how that happpened later. It hurt you every time you glanced at those pictures. Yet you have no idea why you hanged them anyway.

As you were lost in your thoughts, you heard a knock on the door. 'Ugh! It's 5 in the morning, who the hell would it be? You groaned to yourself. You headed for the TV cabinet and grabbed your gun, well, it's a precaution, and walked silently towards the door, looking through the peephole to see who it was. You sighed at the sight of a mailman waiting patiently with a box in his hand. You opened the door, finger on the trigger of the gun behind your back.

The mailman stands straight, as if he's a military officer.

"The night speaks in silence, ‘They will come for you.’ But I do not flinch. I do not run. I reply with no words — only fire. For I am not the hunted."

He says with a misty voice. You then realise he is sent from the IMF to deliver a mission package. You were taught all of these 'epic and poetic' when you were a trainee at the IMF.

" I am the Reckoning." You answer.

At this, he hands you the package and walks away, into the gloomy surroundings as you shut the door behind you.

'A new mission.' You thought to yourself, sighing. You had only finished your solo mission a week ago. God! There's always some bastard trying to bomb the world!

You head into your bedroom, package held tightly in your hand. You place it down on your desk, pulling up a stool and sitting on it. You tear open the package, careful not to disturb the contents inside.

It's a book. 'Red Sparrow' to be exact. You flip it open to see a big hole after the first 20 pages. It has a tablet inside it that you turned on to play a voice-recorded message.

"Good morning, Agent. A rogue intelligence—non-human, autonomous, evolving— The Entity, has breached containment. It sees everything. It hears everything. And soon, it will decide everything.

Global powers are in a silent race for control. Some seek to own it. Others, to destroy it. But only one man holds the key… and that man is Agent Ethan Hunt."

At the use of his name, you clenched your jaw, looking away, a heavy feeling filling your heart. Turning your head to see his face on the screen, green eyes, messy hair that screams ' run for your life '. His looks did mesmerise you, but that was back then. Now you just hated him for existing.

"Your mission, should you choose to accept it:

Retrieve both halves of the cruciform key.

Prevent global escalation.

Decide whether truth should be known, or erased forever.

You will be working with Agents Ethan Hunt, Benji Dunn, and Luther Stickell.

As always, if you or any member of your team is caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow all knowledge of your actions.

This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

Good Luck, Y/N."

You sighed loudly and shut the book as it combusted by itself.

'Working with Hunt again!', you exclaim to yourself. You were annoyed. Extremely annoyed. What annoyed you even more was a Morse code letter in the book. It was a letter from Ethan. Gosh, you hated him, you are literally not on speaking terms, and he had recruited you to the mission because of your "talent" (at least that's what he wrote in the letter). You didn't want to go with him, you absolutely didn't. But a part of you says you have to, not for him, but for the entire world. So you did. You packed your bags to meet the team at the IMF safe house near the Abu Dhabi airport at 10:06 am.

IMF had provided you a private jet to Abu Dhabi, and a safe vehicle to go the the safehouse. You twisted open the doorknob with a key given to you in the plane, and saw Benji Dunn in the living room. He was, as usual, sitting with his laptop on his lap, the green light from the screen accentuating his features. He turned his head toward you slightly with furrowed eyebrows, which you were sure was the face of a confused man trying to figure out who was at the doorway. As soon as he recognized your face ( you worked with this same team a bunch of times, so it was like a good reunion, well, at least with "some" of them), his face broke out into a big grin. You gave him a grin, too, as he set his laptop on the table and came running to you, giving you a HUGE hug, swinging his arms around your neck as you swung your arms around his waist, still grinning.

" My, my, if it ain't Benji Dun,n" you said, setting your bag down.

He gave a chuckle." Well, it's me alright, definitely not a masked guy." he said as he tugged at his own cheek to show that he's not wearing a mask or something.

You smirk and not your head at his stupidity. He was always there for you, like your brother.

" I missed you, Y/N." he said, giving you another hug. " Me too, Benji" you said. You broke out of the hug, and you and Benji settled on the couch.

" Where's the other guy?" you asked, looking at the computer, with the least amount of bother in your voice.

" He's just in the room, setting up some gear for you and himself." he said, pointing his thumb towards a room at the right.

You nodded. " What are we doing today? " you asked eagerly. You felt ready for the mission, more than ever. Only, it's just the beginning.

" You and Ethan should retrieve the other half of the key from a courier named Delai Hasan," He says, showing you a picture of him on his laptop. You simply nod, but the thing is, you hate going on a mission like this alongside Hunt. 'Why did he always have to be there?'.You thought to yourself

And then you heard footsteps and turned towards the door Benji pointed at some time ago.

There he was, standing as if he saw a ghost, looking at you, Ethan Hunt, your no.1 enemy and rival. Yet you were working on the same mission as him.

[coffeeman777]

Everyone reading this, this is for you. God appointed that you would see this post at this time. He has a message for you, please don't ignore it.

The message is this: repent of your sins, and believe in Jesus! This life will not last forever. Some day, maybe some day soon, each and every one of us will stand before the Lord to be judged. For those who repent and receive God's offer of pardon through Lord Jesus' sacrifice, they will obtain eternal life. Those who refuse the Lord Jesus and die in their sins, they will receive condemnation and everlasting punishment. Please, I beg you, don't let yourself be counted among the latter!

If you read this and you want to know more, please don't hesitate to reach out to me.

I love you all. I'll be praying for you!

Romans 10:9-13

"...9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. 11 For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in Him will not be put to shame.” 12 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing His riches on all who call on Him. 13 For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”"

Titus 2:11-14

"11 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12 training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, 13 waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, 14 who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession who are zealous for good works."

Titus 3:3-7

"3 For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. 4 But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, 5 He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to His own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, 6 whom He poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that being justified by His grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life."

2 Thessalonians 1:5-10

"5 This is evidence of the righteous judgment of God, that you may be considered worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are also suffering— 6 since indeed God considers it just to repay with affliction those who afflict you, 7 and to grant relief to you who are afflicted as well as to us, when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with His mighty angels 8 in flaming fire, inflicting vengeance on those who do not know God and on those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. 9 They will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of His might, 10 when He comes on that day to be glorified in His saints, and to be marveled at among all who have believed, because our testimony to you was believed."

Revelation 20:11-15

"11 Then I saw a great white throne and Him who was seated on it. From His presence earth and sky fled away, and no place was found for them. 12 And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Then another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to what they had done. 13 And the sea gave up the dead who were in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead who were in them, and they were judged, each one of them, according to what they had done. 14 Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. 15 And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire."

[mysticinsightstarot]

🐻Runes Reading : Manifesting Your Ideal future 🌈

✨ Hey, my magical tribe! ✨

I’m here with something different today—Rune Reading! 🔮💫 I know, I know, it’s not your typical tarot reading, but trust me, it’s just as powerful and insightful! Before we dive in, here’s a little TMI update: My exam dates have been postponed… again! 😅 I was supposed to finish everything by the end of December, but now my exams will stretch into January. AHHH! 😱 But don’t worry, I’ll still try my best to schedule some Pick-a-Card readings for you all. I’ve got your back! 💖

Now, let’s get into the runes! Here’s how to choose your pile:

How to Choose Your Pile: There are 2 piles in today’s reading. All you need to do is take a deep breath and trust your intuition. ✨

Pile 1: Feel drawn to the first pile? Let your energy guide you to it.

Pile 2: If Pile 1 isn’t calling, maybe Pile 2 has the messages you’re looking for!

Choose whichever one resonates the most with your heart—there's no wrong choice! 💖

Also, a quick reminder—please take a moment to check out my website, where I offer paid readings! 🌟 Your support means the world to me, and it helps me continue doing what I love. 💕 Whether you're looking for detailed tarot or rune guidance, I’m here to provide all the insights you need. It would mean so much to me if you could take a peek!

Alright, let’s get into this magical Rune Reading! 🌙✨

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✨Pile 1 Rune Reading: Manifesting Your Ideal Future✨

Hey, you! Yes, you with the big dreams and the burning desire to grow! Let’s dive into the magic of the runes and see what guidance they’ve got for your career, relationships, and personal success. Grab your coffee, tea, or whatever’s going to make this journey more fun for you! ☕✨

1. Current Energies – Rune: Gebo (Gift) 🎁 Starting off strong, we’ve got Gebo, the gift rune! 🎉 This energy is all about exchange, harmony, and partnerships! Maybe you're at a point where you're receiving, or about to receive, something amazing in your life. Could be love, could be a career opportunity, or maybe even just a new friendship that’s about to change everything. The universe is telling you, "Hey, things are aligning for you, and some of that alignment might come through others!" 😎 Keep your heart open, because the gift is incoming. 🎁

2. Intentions – Rune: Hagalaz (Hailstorm) 🌨️ Okay, buckle up, because Hagalaz comes in like a thunderstorm! ⚡ It represents chaos, destruction, and sometimes even uncomfortable change. But guess what? That discomfort is what leads to growth and breakthroughs! You’re trying to manifest something big, right? Sometimes, that means shaking things up. Are you feeling a little lost or like things are falling apart? Hagalaz says that it's all part of the process. Clear out the old, so the new can take root. 🌱 It might be tough, but trust me, it’s leading you to something amazing.

3. Blockages – Rune: Wunjo (Joy) 😄 Surprising, right? Wunjo usually represents joy, but in the blockage position, it’s a sign that you’re not fully embracing the happiness that’s available to you. Maybe you’ve been so focused on your goals that you’ve forgotten to celebrate the little wins or take time to enjoy the journey. 🎉 Wunjo reminds you: find joy in the process, not just the destination! It’s time to reconnect with the positive vibes and make space for happiness to naturally flow into your life.

4. Divine Guidance – Rune: Algiz (Protection) 🦸‍♂️ Algiz is here with the big protective energy! 💥 It’s your shield against negativity and a sign that you are spiritually supported right now. Whether you’re feeling uncertain or facing challenges, you’ve got this invisible force guiding you and keeping you safe. It’s time to trust your intuition more! Your higher self is actively steering you towards the right path—don’t second-guess yourself. 🙌 The universe has your back, always!

5. Action Steps – Rune: Raidho (Journey) 🛤️ Time to get moving! Raidho is the rune of travel, movement, and taking action. 🚀 It’s not about sitting back and waiting for things to fall into place. It’s a signal to get on the road, whether that’s a physical journey or a mental shift. If you’ve been feeling stuck, now’s the time to take that first step towards what you want. Trust that your journey will unfold as it’s meant to—just make sure you’re moving in the right direction! 🌍 Your action: start that project, reach out, make that call, book that flight (or a metaphorical one!).

6. Outcome – Runes: Eihwaz & Sowilo (Yew Tree & Sun) 🌞🌳 Eihwaz and Sowilo together are the ultimate power duo. Eihwaz is all about endurance, transformation, and personal strength—your resilience is off the charts! It’s the energy of the yew tree, standing tall and enduring harsh conditions. 🌲 Then there’s Sowilo, the sun rune, which brings warmth, success, and clarity into your life. 🌅 Together, these runes are telling you that your hard work will pay off. Keep pushing through, because the light at the end of the tunnel is closer than you think. The outcome? Success, abundance, and a deep transformation of your inner strength.

Summary: Pile 1, you're on a powerful journey right now! There’s a mix of chaos, protection, and unstoppable growth ahead. 🌪️ The key to manifesting your ideal future is to stay grounded, trust the process, and take action. 🛤️ Whether it's your career or personal life, you're heading toward an outcome full of transformation and success. 🌞 Keep going, and don’t forget to enjoy the ride along the way! 🌈✨

What’s your next move? 💫 Tell me below, I’m excited to hear how these energies resonate with you! 👇💬 ✨🌿

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✨ Manifesting Your Desired Future: Pile 2 Rune Reading ✨

Hey, magical beings! 🌙✨ If you picked Pile 2, this rune reading is all about manifesting the future of your dreams—whether that’s in love, career, or personal growth. 🌿 Let’s dive in and see what the runes have to say about the energies, challenges, and guidance surrounding your manifestation process. 🚀✨ Ready? Let’s go!

1. What energy is surrounding your current situation?

🔮 Rune 1: Wunjo + Algiz 🔮 You’re radiating positive energy and protection! 🌟 Wunjo is the rune of joy, harmony, and bliss—you’re attracting good vibes into your life, honey! ✨ Meanwhile, Algiz brings you a shield of protection—this means that your path is being safeguarded, and you're exactly where you need to be. Whether you're manifesting a relationship, career goals, or personal growth, you're aligned with positive forces. You’ve got the universe watching over you! 🌍💖

2. What are you trying to manifest or attract?

🔮 Rune 2: Laguz 🔮 It’s time to dive deep into your emotions, because Laguz is all about intuition and flow! 🌊 Whether it’s a soulful connection, an exciting career move, or personal breakthroughs, you’re manifesting something that requires emotional depth. ❤️ This rune is urging you to tap into your intuitive abilities and allow things to unfold naturally. You’re on the verge of manifesting something that will nourish your spirit. Trust your feelings—they’re your compass. 🌸✨

3. What challenges are blocking your manifestation?

🔮 Rune 3: Tiwaz 🔮 Here comes the warrior energy! ⚔️ Tiwaz is about strength, leadership, and justice—but when it appears in a challenge position, it hints that you might be facing resistance to stepping into your power. Maybe you’re doubting yourself or hesitating to take the lead. Don’t hold back—this is the time to embrace your inner warrior! 🦸‍♀️🦸‍♂️ You have the strength and courage needed to overcome obstacles and create the life you desire. It's all about trusting that you’re capable of handling whatever comes your way. 💪✨

4. How can you overcome these challenges?

🔮 Rune 4: Gebo + Nauthiz 🔮 Balance is key! ⚖️ Gebo is the rune of exchange, harmony, and partnership, while Nauthiz represents constraint and urgency. Together, they suggest that overcoming obstacles involves finding balance between giving and receiving. You might have to compromise or work in partnership with someone (whether that’s your higher self or a literal person in your life). 🌸 There may be a need to align your actions with your deepest needs—don’t force things, just flow into the right energy exchange and trust the process! 🌈

5. What’s the potential outcome if you follow the guidance?

🔮 Rune 5: Berkano + Perthero + Isa 🔮 Prepare for a magical rebirth! 🌱 Berkano is all about new beginnings and growth, Perthero brings hidden wisdom and mystical surprises, and Isa introduces a moment of stillness. The outcome is a fresh start, but it might take some time to fully manifest. This trio tells me you’re about to experience a profound transformation that will completely renew your perspective on life! 💫 Be patient, because the best things come when you least expect them. 🌙✨

6. Final advice from the universe

🔮 Rune 6: Othala + Hagalaz 🔮 This combo is all about ancestral wisdom and change—the universe is telling you that your manifestation process may involve some uncomfortable growth that shakes things up. 🌪️ Othala represents your heritage and the legacy you’re building, while Hagalaz brings chaos and transformation. This means that sometimes, in order to create your dream life, you need to let go of old patterns or situations that no longer serve you. 🌟 Trust that the storm will clear away the clutter and lead you to something even more aligned with your true path. 🌈🔥

Overall Message:

Pile 2, you’re so close to manifesting your desired future! ✨ The energy is flowing, and though there are a few bumps in the road (we all have them!), trust that you're on the right path. The universe is pushing you to step into your power, embrace emotional flow, and create balance in all aspects of your life. 🌙 Be patient, keep trusting yourself, and know that the transformation ahead is going to be epic. 🌿💖

Sending you all the magic and cosmic love as you manifest your best future! ✨🌟

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✨ Conclusion ✨

Alright, my magical souls, that’s the reading for today! 💖 Now, if you want to claim your reading, here’s what you need to do (don’t risk it, I’m serious! 👀):

Reblog this post 📩

Like it ❤️

Follow me (if you haven’t already! 💕)

Comment the Rainbow 🌈 emoji for Pile 1 and the Bear 🐻 emoji for Pile 2 (get creative! ✨)

Follow all the rules—don’t risk missing out!

I’ll see you soon with more cosmic magic, but for now, I’m drowning in notes 📝🥲 as exams are calling my name. Wish me luck! 😅 Stay tuned for more magical reads, and thank you for all your love and support! 💖🌙

See you soon, babes! ✨

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC: Lunar Eclipse - General Messages

Sup y'all, I'm back for the second round of my PAC marathon happening before the end of October! I wanted to pull some guidance from this lunar eclipse season, especially since it's felt very energetically heavy since the last full moon. All three piles are going through some stage of great transformation taking place -- just in time for Scorpio season.

To assist me, I've consulted three red dragons, known in the deck as Watcher dragons, to help you choose your reading. I like Universal Dragon oracle as an "energy" deck by embodying the traits each dragon represents through meditation practice, and these red dragons specialize in guiding through important life transitions. If you prefer to choose intuitively by color, I've also added three gemstones for your piles below:

Pile 1, Knowledge Dragon + Cherry Quartz Pile 2, Awakening Dragon + Lepidolite Pile 3, Emergence Dragon + Lapis Lazuli

Pile 1: Knowledge Dragon + Cherry Quartz

Supermoon, 21. Venus, 5. Heart Healing, Alcalb: Poison and Medicine, 4 of Cups, 2 of Wands, VI Lovers, King of Pentacles, XX Judgement

Please be gentle with yourself at this time, pile 1. You're in need of a soothing kind of support. This could be a turbulent time to deal with purging out any negativity from your past. You may get reminders of some old issues which return out of nowhere to grab your attention. Even if occasional, you may need to remind yourself that you will be okay.

Be open with giving yourself comfort, or letting others baby you a little bit when you're feeling down. The King of Pentacles could be you or someone else, but this is the profile of somebody who is generous and aims to please. Embodying Venusian energy, this King wants you to feel at rest and does not mind offering tasty fruit or a warm blanket to cheer you up. Sitting next to the Four of Cups, it may be emphasizing that you need to allow yourself the chance to receive this care.

If your issue is related to a partnership, going out and spending time with friends or even on your own may be a better way to take it easy, instead of trying to work out anything now. This is not the exact time or place to be settling out bigger issues in your relationships unless it's urgent. They'll show up on their own time anyway. This reading wants to focus on maintaining your emotional well being. If this is not relationship but involves a situation in the present, then step away as much as you can and be as kind and patient with yourself as possible.

The key here is to maintain self awareness when these strong emotions move through you, that's what the Knowledge dragon wants you to know. "Knowing is half the battle." There may be a strong pull to making the kind of choices that can lead to major growth in your life path, but although new events and alliance are waiting ahead of you, the lunar eclipse is a golden opportunity to just purge and completely release whatever trauma based feelings are trying to hold you back.

You could be particularly affected by the phases and placements of the moon. Check your natal chart to see and compare the transiting moon with yours, see how the moon makes contact with other planets as it moves through each of the signs. If you're interested in brushing up your studies, whether astronomy or astrology, this is a very good time to glean a lot more insight than normal. It's easier to learn lessons when you're in a state of ease.

(extra note: I see multiple fruits in your pile: the apple stained glass, cherry quartz, pomegranate, and the berries the blue jays are holding. Fruits can be a reference to eating healthy snacks, or an emphasis on romance. These mood swings may feel intense, but they will yield fruit for you. Please take it how it resonates for you.)

Pile 2: Awakening Dragon + Lepidolite

Full Moon Sagittarius, 15. Retrograde, 6. Freedom, Aldebaran: Destruction and Rejection, Knight of Wands, 6 of Cups, 8 of Wands, 9 of Swords, 8 of Swords

Hey pile 2, you picked one of my favorite cards in this dragon deck! I love how the light in the tree hollow resembles a portal. The energy of the Retrograde card looks to be the very opposite: all the colors of nature are drained, and all that's left are structures of near perfect symmetry and order. It's almost like you're the figure in the Retrograde card who's actually looking back and choosing to leave behind the old structure for the new and unknown with nervous enthusiasm., but not without wistfulness.

This is something you've likely sensed would happen and now that the predicted situation is at hand, things must change quickly to adjust. It reminds me of movies where the character is watching something like a building fall or a ship sink, but they have an escape pod where they can be safe with family. In these movies, the character always takes another look back to remember all the good and bad times that made it so special. The character wants to stay in that space forever until the others shout "c'mon! Hurry up!"

It's understandable that when we sense a big change is underway, we take time out to appreciate the good times had. There's a difference, though, between simply being nostalgic by enjoying memories, and the fear based resistance of walking towards whatever lies ahead. You may have recently gone through a deep shadow work period where some of your anxieties were brought to light and dealt with. You're nearing the end of this difficult cycle, however, so give yourself the chance to breathe a little before moving on.

When the next chapter comes, it may happen rather quickly. That's why the Six of Cups and Lepidolite want you to take a step back just a little and heal your more gentle, imaginative, fun loving side. Read an old comic book or bake cookies, surround yourself with familiar things. This will allow you to be more flexible and resilient about encountering anything that comes next, instead of feeling worn out.

You're at a place now where you're ready to let go of an old cycle, one that kept you feeling a little stuck in the dark. Some balance is needed. Enjoying pieces of the past does not mean getting mired in it and unable to progress. If anything, sometimes it's necessary to take a step back to move two steps forward, like when we watch a movie twice and see new things we hadn't noticed during the first watch. Bring the best from the past with you. When the time is right, don't be afraid to not run, not walk, but to step carefully into the portal.

Pile 3: Emergence Dragon + Lapis Lazuli

South Node, 8. Scorpio, 2. Understanding, Atlas: Guidance and Discovery, XX Judgement, VII Chariot, 4 of Wands, Knight of Swords, XV Devil

Overwhelmingly, pile 3, I'm seeing that you're getting the green light to go ahead and embark on your next path. Notice all the teal color in your oracle cards? It's a popular color in hospitals as it provides a gentle contrast to healing that could be painful and frightening for patients. I initially imagined someone wading through a dark sewer only to approach the light of the other side. In the Understanding card, you can see that the hooded figure is walking over the stream and not in it. It's as if the bridge appeared out of nowhere. And the water looks pure and flowing smooth.

Something in your external world may be pushing you along to your next journey, whether or not you're entirely ready. What is it you would like to do, or where is it you would like to go next? I feel with the Judgement card, it's talking about a specific issue or event in your life. It's less a case of throwing darts to see what will stick and more of following the path that aligns with your true self. Your life is leading you to your life path with two thumbs up.

It's as if Judgement as a card represented an intersection, where many roads of various directions diverge into one area. You must put your turn signal on and indicate where you plan to proceed next. The sooner you can get clear on which road to take, the faster your next chapter will roll out. Just make sure you're using the right signal.

The biggest hurdle to overcome will be the ever present comfort zone. A comfort zone is not something to be fought. It's a necessary part of keeping up with the body and mind. Imagine constantly taking in novel material? That's what babies do, and they speak in gurgles 'cause they can hardly stand that everything is so new! It can be overwhelming.

People aren't always meant to push themselves to miserable exhaustion like Atlas just because a life of being more relaxed and certain seems boring and less fulfilling. But at the same time, we must learn to expand past what we know and love to something fresh and exciting. Whatever goal you're seeking to start or resolve, the light is green and you have the right of way. Spend time getting clear on your choices. But don't hold back anymore!

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[chaifootsteps]

College anon dropping in to say that the dubs aren't very good. Some, like the french one, sound like the text went through google translate (and the dubbing in general is terrible despite France having a good rep in the industry). The Italian version of Poison is low-key good tho

As for my reaction to Poison, imagine that gif of the happy yellow emoji looking traumatized/dead inside. I stared at the screen wondering what led me to watching this and how ANYONE would think this was a good scene. Vivziepop claiming that the leaks don't represent the full scene was right for once... It was so much worse. I could think of a more tasteful way to picture it in 5 seconds, it isn't that hard. She could have even kept most of the scene, just remove the graphic stuff to keep the suggestive dancing (a smart idea that should have remained subtle) and maybe keep the Val part à la Addict to show that, yeah, on top of "working" all night (because the graphic scenes made it obvious he stopped "enjoying" work early during the night), Val SA'd him and that shows the entirety of the hell he's going through. It explains why he breaks down and lashes out. Viv didn't need to keep most of the SA, the entire thing was implied.

Also episode 4 comes out of left field. Yes, it was foreshadowed since the beginning but why is Angel suddenly returning his calls? We SAW him ignore Val. He clearly HATES him. Since when is Husk calling him out and badgering him about being "fake"?? They've known each other for a WEEK. It's way too early for that. It's like we're missing 3-4 episodes of development in-between. Angel reconnecting with Val and showing hints that this is indeed a facade, Husk knowing a lot about everyone and giving a damn... This should be a mid-end of season arc for Angel. I'd personally make it end of season 1 so that he can show change during season 2, beginning as someone new, someone who slowly tries to show he cares and let down his bravado in small amounts, with clear hints of being a little scared of the reactions, until it naturally becomes his full-time persona. Maybe have Charlie notice at some point and subtly encourage him, DELIGHTED (in caps because that girl is extra) that Angel is getting better but having to keep her excitement in in fear of scaring him off (because Charlie should have SOME sort of emotional intelligence ffs).

Loser, Baby feels out of place. This is NOT the appropriate reaction to Angel's words. Did they rewrite the dialogue but not the song?? Here's how it sounds:

Angel: I feel like I've gotta be Val's perfect whore all the time so I'm trying to break myself enough he will be alone—

Husk: Well, it's okay to be a loser, baby! Look at me, I'm a failure too. You ain't special and it's okay!

....So Angel is a loser/failure/broken but Val is still into him??? Did they realize that this should send him the wrong message?! That Val will "love" him no matter what and that Angel cannot be free, that he's been making himself miserable for NOTHING?? First of all, Husk's greediness and addictions are NOTHING like Angel's situation. He signed with his real name. That alone implies that Val snatched him early on as he arrived. On top of that, he's being abused every way possible on the regular, for no fault of his own, and is self-destructing. He cannot kill himself and Val won't let him be killed. This is NOTHING like Husk losing a game for more power and being forced to be a bartender.

Here's how it should have gone for the song to work:

Angel: So?! The real me is a good for nothing loser who died in a ditch from some shitty coke! THIS is the famous, hotter than Hell pornstar that everyone wanna fuck! And I've— I've gotta be the part. 'Cause if I'm not... If I ain't then who am I?

Angel's fear should have been about being seen as who he was, as some loser that nobody loved. Let him feel like he beat his father, that now he's someone so suck it dad! You were wrong! Let Angel behave as if his life was a porn movie because that's all he knows now and what he thinks he should be like. Instead of trying to ruin himself so that Val discards him, have him try to be perfect... Because that'll stop the abuse, right? Val is happy when he acts like that. The perverts worship him. No one cares about Anthony.

That would make Loser, Baby work. It would achieve its goal of saying "it's okay to suck, we all do! Look at me, I'm a loser but my life isn't over!" and get Angel to accept that he's enough as he is. If you add in a few episodes beforehand to set it up, it could have worked better instead of being insensitive.

Personally I would have entirely changed the Angel/Val dynamic. Val can still be a whiny bitch but not in a drama queen way as is implied. He gets like that whenever he loses control of his favorite. Have one of the Vees groan and say something about Angel having done something as if it happened often. Make them used to Val throwing a fit because he didn't get what he wanted out of Angel or because he's having a jealousy fit. It already makes Val more controlling. It'll make the messages scene hit harder as, yeah, we can see why Angel left, the dude is unstable and obsessed. I'd be a little more fucked-up and have Angel kinda love him. Ofc in the Stockholm Syndrome way, he's been abused so much he's too attached to leave. That shift in dynamic would explain why he eventually goes back despite everything. Like in the show, he feels ignored in favor of the new resident and the way he's dismissed and talked about makes him feel like shit. He checks his phone again and ends up listening to Val's new voice messages... And this time, they're sickeningly sweet in a row. He's sorry, he's begging for him to come back. He loves him. And that's enough for Angel to go out or answer him. Put a few episodes in-between where Angel seems... Off? How weird, he's jumpy, more on his phone. He's out for parts of the episodes or clearly focused on something else. Then we get episode 4, where everyone culminates to show how bad the situation is for him. I'd personally not have Val hit him. He's smart enough to not leave bruises on his top whore. However, he's manipulative and threatening. There's no doubt that he COULD hit Angel whenever, especially with the way he cowers. Angel tries to diffuse the situation, so well that it's heartbreaking, and he gets bold. That line when he doesn't reply "Yes Val" is meant with silence as we wait for Val's reaction, waiting for him to blow up. A beat. He doesn't. He's not calm but he's not as angry. He's not going to hit him. He thanks Angel, touching him while the other flinches, a hint that he handles Angel roughly in this kind of situation, and just as Angel looks relieved, he announces that he'll have to work all night, distressing Angel again.

Ofc that would require extensive research and talk to specialists to do it well. Viv's audience can be stupid so it's more of a struggle to make it clear that none of this is Angel's fault and to not romantize this shit but it's more interesting than Val being so obviously abusive. IMHO he almost transformed into someone else in that episode and it could work but we didn't see enough of him to go "oh that's the old abuser trick! he's not as nice as he is with others when he's with his victim!". Idk how to put it sensibly but the impression he gave me was "whiny manchild who sadly was given enough power by Daddy Vox to abuse someone" instead of the intended "terrifying Overlord who is unstable and abusing his power to abuse whichever worker he fancies at the moment". I dunno Chai I just think it would work better if he were more manipulative and welding his power in other ways than by force. Like Angel isn't scared by his strength but by his influence. Also I would low-key find a way to make it so that Angel, mistakenly, thinks he can get away with some things to explain how he'd leave for the Hotel. Like having him not be a perfect victim. While he tries to cater to Val and keep him happy out of fear (and/or care because abuse fucks you up), he sometimes provokes him or tries to do his own thing. It'd show he's his own person and stuff. Sadly that would be lost on Viv's stans and it would absolutely spark some victim-shaming stuff or worse. But I think if she's gonna try to portray something like this, she could do with some nuance and not so... Cliché? Of course, it happens like this to too many people but it feels like she's applying a trope with no thought into it. The most cookie-cutter depiction she could do for quick satisfaction or to tick that case. A bit like how Stolitz is a mix of multiple tropes and is a terribly done version of that trope where a noble falls in love with someone whose class is lower with a sprinkle of badly done transactional relationship that sparks feelings. Thinking of HB, HH has better representation of abuse but not by much. I feel like if Stella was a man, she'd have written it this way? It felt like fetish fuel hiding underneath the surface whereas Stella was lazy writing.

I dunno man, I wanted to rant about Charlie and her design but episode 4 hit me like a wall of bricks

Thank you for all of this, College Anon. This was a great read, and you're right, the Italian version of Poison goes so much harder than the English.

Also Italian Val's voice is...yeah, 10/10 stars on that one. Mama mia.

[a-taut-thread]

Machines of Wartime AU character study #1: Unparalleled Innocense

Buckle the fuck in folks this is gonna be another long one because I'm passionate about how I characterize them here. Long post again, so more info comes after the cut. Note for reference and clarity that throughout this post UI will be referred to with they/ae pronouns quite interchangeably, so instances of either set are in reference to them.

No real major content warnings here, although I'll give a small warning for self destructive behavior, as well as a more minor precautionary warning for brief mentions of neglect and dehumanization from their admins.

UI is, essentially, a high energy constant stimulation seeker at their core, and a lot of what they do shows it in some way. It's a major reason (along with far less personality shaping going into their generation) behind why they used to be quite mean here before making steps towards improvement. They were never taught a healthy outlet to seek stimulation, so they will try pretty much anything to see what sticks; pretty much anything that gets a form of reaction from others is included in what does stick.

Spreading rumors and other bits of info makes people react, whether good or bad. This means results. People who learn them often further spread them. This means even more results. And when you build a reputation for yourself as "the mean rumor spreader", these results will get back to you all over again. Messages, reactions, more people coming to them to start shit; it's all results and reactions and stimulation. It's an easy way to get what ae want... even if it means people thinking less of aer for it. But hey, can't get lonely if you're constantly too stimulated or too busy seeking more of everything to really think about how nobody quite genuinely likes you! It's easy when you don't let yourself focus on feelings, just shut down any attempts at self awareness!

The reason they're like this, in reality, primarily comes not from being truly mean or spiteful at their core, but just from being built in a way where lack of proper guidance or true care from their creators after creation has left them both feeling a little abandoned ("why bother behaving when nobody cares about me anyway") and physically incapable of tolerating understimulation ("if I'm not doing enough it almost physically hurts"). They have incredibly high processing power; a measurable amount more than even Pebbles, and Pebbles and UI are respectively the first and second iterators of their generation to be created. If they're not using enough of that processing power, it drives them up a wall a little; they genuinely cannot stand being in a state where they're not receiving enough stimulation of some sort. They hate boredom and lack of activity and even just sitting still for too long. Movement, sound, reading messages, running 5 background processes at once, taking on multiple high intensity projects, whatever; it's all the same as long as it gives aer what their systems crave. More stimulation. And saying and doing shit to get reactions is heavily related to that; it's negative stimulation seeking behavior that was never properly taught as "don't do this it's not healthy", because quite frankly aer admins don't care what ae do, as long as ae have a high work output. They're just an iterator after all, right?

And then we come to why they're not really like this anymore, way more toned down in how they act. One big reason is simply time and maturity; they've gained more life experience and kind of just grown away from this sort of behavior in favor of better outlets. They're still young and reckless, but not as overwhelmingly so after a good few decades of time to live and grow. They've seen that it makes people not like them to act like that; even now they still have no real friends due to their reputation. It makes them lonely now that they've calmed down enough to actually think about how others view them instead of living in the moment; they don't want to be lonely. They don't want to be sad. Ae don't want to experience negative emotions, because feelings as a whole tend to be very intense for aer and bad ones really suck to deal with. And they want to get away from these feelings.

Another big reason is because of Pebbles, as was alluded to a little in this post. He's their partner, he cares about them, and they care about him too. For one thing, they don't want their own behaviors to reflect poorly on him by proxy; they're self aware enough now to see that this could happen, and they don't want anyone else to be made to feel like a bad person simply because of being associated with them. They don't want this for someone they love. For another thing, he honestly just makes them feel seen. He can see that they struggle quite badly when understimulated; but unlike aer admins who simply ignore anything that's not work and results and responsibilities, he actually cares enough to help them find a healthy outlet to, well, actually properly stim instead of leaving them to seek unhealthy, and ultimately self destructive since it blows up their ability to maintain friendships, methods. He views them as an entire person deserving of respect, not just a machine with a purpose. That's why they're actually together quite a lot; he's willing to give them what they need to get that stimulation in a more healthy way, whether that be engaging them in direct conversation or letting them constantly fidget with his clothes or just giving them a good squeeze because ae like the feeling. He loves them and cares about them and will go out of his way to keep them happy and engaged and focused on more positive outlets. He involves them in projects a lot because they're actually a very good worker when they care about the task at hand, and they love being delegated tasks to engage with! Giving them more tasks + generally more ideas on how to properly and healthily stim is exactly what they need, and he gives it to aer. It's a big part in why the two of them have a very strong relationship now, the level of genuine care and respect they've cultivated for each other.

They're actually getting a lot better now! They've mostly moved away from the more toxic sorts of behaviors they used to display, since they now have much better outlets. They're not a completely different person personality wise; they're still quite socially driven, and ae do love a good bit of interesting information. They're just mature enough now to not spread things they shouldn't. Ae still don't have true friends really, but they're working towards that and finally starting to gain acquaintances who actually like them and value them for who they are as a person. And they're a lot happier for it; they feel seen and valued and like they have actual reasons to try and be better now. They are loved, they are seen, and they are better off for it.

TL;DR UI is essentially a high powered supercomputer with ADHD that went completely unmanaged for a long time, and as a result they started seeking out negative stimming behaviors. They were never shown anything more healthy as an alternative. They matured over time and were finally shown better stimming methods by someone who cares about them, and it's helped them grow and improve a lot.

[idleglowingpixels]

I kinda realised that Mr Komos' song, True Monster Heart follows the same beat as the Monster High Fright song, but the lyrics are like the corrupted version of the original.

Monster High Fright is about accepting

True Monster Heart is about rejecting

Kinda interesting when you think about it

AHHHHHH WHEN I SAW I GOT AN ASK RELATED TO THIS I FREAKED OUT DFGHNBGVFDSF TY FOR GIVING ME SOMETHING TO RAMBLE SOME MORE ABOUT ANON FOR REAL! (Also sorry for the late response, this post has been developing in my drafts for like at least a week now dfgfhng)

I absolutely agree with the conflicting messages between the two songs! I know the song focuses on the story of this universe's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in the main verses, but the main focus of the song is that message of rejection of anything and everything human.

Also, because of the Jekyll/Hyde bits, it could represent the duality of where the story starts and ends in its interpretation of a "true monster heart." Instead of Mr. Hyde's human-ness making his heart "untrue," it was his utter rejection of & research into ridding himself of his Jekyll, as well as his hiding of the truth in the first place that caused him to be found out and exiled.

His heart being "untrue" had nothing to do with the fact he was half-human, because if it were, then Clawdeen and Komos's presence in and of itself within the school would've triggered its self-destruction. That was proven as a false interpretation by the story in the movie, so it's self-explanatory. A true monster heart is one of self-acceptance, despite one's flaws or differences. That's what Mr. Hyde, and Mr. Komos thereafter, had neglected to realize before Clawdeen proved the point.

Though, I've listened to both True Monster Heart and Fright Song a few times back-to-back, to try and get where you're thinking as far as the beat, but I don't hear it unfortunately (unless you meant the tempo of the song, then yes they do follow the same 120 beats per minute!).

The closest thing I can think of as far as melodic parallels between the songs is the chanting sections. The Fright Song chant is much quicker in the way it's sung compared to the chant in True Monster Heart, however. The whole of Fright Song's chant goes in 16 beats/4 measures, whereas True Monster Heart's chant takes twice as long at 32 beats/8 measures (I was a band/choir kid lol). It's mainly due to how the song kinda drags out the point, and it definitely feels like a nod to Fright Song for sure. Fright Song's chant is only there because 4/5 of the main ghouls were fearleaders, so it was sort of characterizing the cast before actually showing their characters in the webisodes.

---

Fun little headcanon/ramble that I forget if I ever mentioned about Fright Song, but with Holt Hyde being released in the 1st Signature wave with the rest of the the main ghouls and all, I think it was because he's intended to be the singer of the rap section before any subsequent content with the character was released (No offense but I don't think Holt DJs because he's a good singer sdfgbfds). This would line up with his current crush in canon with Frankie, as well as his former crush on Draculaura from either the diaries or books, maybe both? I forget. :'D Also I feel like Holt wouldn't hesitate to call Cleo vile immediately after saying she's charming either, he's very direct with his words. (I also interpret Jackson/Holt as bisexual because Deuce is included in the rap I DON'T CARE Y'ALL IT MAKES SENSE!)

Also I always interpreted the howl-like sound at the end of the rap as "Holt ran outta time/battery power for his music and transforms back to Jackson as it transitions to the rest of the song." It kinda works with how the beat kinda drops down with the howl, like a TV being shut off or something idk.

Ghoulia also debuted with Signature Wave 1 but she's only in like a second of the music video in the background, I figure it could've been budgetary reasons for the animation, to save on animating an extra character. Also I imagine flame-y hair wouldn't be very fun to animate in 2D, and Deuce's snakes moving on their own were bad enough I imagine to animate, so it begrudgingly checks out as to why Holt isn't in the animated bits with everyone else.

BUT I JUST WATCHED THE MUSIC VIDEO BECAUSE I WANTED TO FOR THE SAKE OF THIS POST AND THE GUY SINGING THE RAPPING BIT HAS, YOU GUESSED IT, A BRIGHT FRICKIN NEON RED LEATHER JACKET. He doesn't have the dual-toned shirt BUT IT'S WHITE AND THIS IS CLOSE ENOUGH FOR ME Y'ALL! XD

If any straws for these dumbasses can be found I SHALL GRASP THEM fr they're my blorbos :'D

[tallysgreatestfan]

@cruelfeline tagged everybody who wanted in this, so I gladly take this opportunity, because it looked fun.

Who was your first fictional crush?

You know, I kept telling me it was Spock from Star Trek TOS for the entirety of my teen years because I desperately wanted to be hetero and ignore that I am actually bi. But looking back, I actually realize that it was even earlier than that, it was Tally Youngblood. Not the Tally from the movie, tough I guess she is cute and could be hot as an adult (and super soldier) too. I realized in the third book, Specials. There is this scene where Tally ends up getting saved last second from being operated on fully conscious, and this image of a tall, muscular, tattooed and scarred, clawed and fanged, bleeding and very, very pissed cyborg super soldier girl made thirteen year old me feel in a way could not really understand back then at all. But looking back... yeah.

What’s the first colour you think of when I tell you to think of a colour?

Blue

Which fanfiction emotionally scarred you and still makes you shudder to this day?

Dead Dove alarm.

I think the most viscerally disturbing one is a Lennier/John Sheridan one (Babylon 5), where Lennier shows up at Sheridan and Delenns house after the series, clearly mentally unwell and wanting to atone for nearly snapping over his love for Delenn, so he basically offers himself up to Sheridan to do with him whatever he thinks he deserves as punishment. This starts as psychological torture over both of them being in love with Delenn, and then escalates in an not exactly consensual sex scene mostly about Sheridan demonstrating how Delenn choose him and he knows about all kinds of Minbari anatomy stuff from that. After that, I hated Sheridan even more than already before, but he also felt so much more human than canon ever managed to get across.

Then everything that even just vaguely explores Hordak/Horde Prime and the sheer amount of trauma for Hordak from that.

Then every ship fic featuring Shay as a Special (Uglies again) furies wrote on AO3. Such a good character study, and so desperate, and unhinged, and hopeless, and full of rage and self destructive even beyond the self-harm, it is so uncomfortable to read, but in a good way.

I’m coming to your house for dinner, non-negotiable, what are you making me?

Noodles with tomatoo sauce and parmesan I guess? It is not even that I can't cook complicated stuff, it is just that my executive dysfunction does not let me.

Do you prefer lions or kangaroos?

Kangaroos.

Which fictional villain do you brush past the glaringly obvious issues for because you really like them?

Uff, hard to pick one. I have so many villain faves. And I think I generally do like to acknowledge the bad things they did while also acknowledging their humanity, for a lack of better term, and reading them in good faith?

Both Hordak and Entrapta, though for them its relatively easy because the series is so vague about what extent of harm exactly their actions caused, and what the political and sociological background of that was?

Dr. Cable? One aspect I love about her character is that very much has an understandable, well intentioned goal (keeping humanity from destroying itself again), and in the books there a quite a few moments where I am so close to being on her side - not sure if this works in the movie too, since the movie flattened down the worldbuilding and message a bit - but she is also ready to do pretty much any atrocity for that.

What would accompany your picture in the Burn Book in Mean Girls?

I didn't really recognized that, so I had to google it. But given how awfully I was treated in school, I don't even need to guess. All kinds of ableist and queerphobic insults.

How many days would you last in the universe of your favourite fandom?

Hard to choose a fandom.

Babylon 5: I mean Babylon 5's world if you are not on some ship or space station pretty much is our world but with aliens, better technology and a small number of high ranking people who actually do try to make things better, so probably I would do just as badly as in our world, but survive?

Star Trek: Utopian post scarcity society. Don't think I would last long in Starfleet because I have no stress resistance whatsoever, but everywhere else I would thrive.

Uglies: Utopian post scarcity society but with a dark secret. Super safe, everything is handed to you, and additionally absurdly good medical technology, it would be pretty hard to actually get myself killed. Even if I would join one of the resistance movements, and end up getting captured by Special Circumstances, they, at least in the book, to not needlessly kill people, they just brain surge them to be happy and compliant.

She-Ra: Depends on where exactly I would end up? Would I be some citizen somewhere on Bright Moon territory who only truly notices what is going on when Horde Prime invades? Would I be in Plumeria (if they're all as ableist as Perfuma good luck)? The Etherian Horde? I am not a fighter or stress resistant at all and I can't deal well with crowded environments, but also the Etherian Horde seems to be pretty fair and flexible and accommodating about work as long as you don't end up directly under either Shadow Weaver or Catra, so... idk?

Have you heard of Mischief Theatre?

No

Do you feel sorry for Medusa?

Kind of depends on which version of the myth, but overall, yes.

Which song makes you think of your OTP?

I have so many different playlists for so many different OTPs, so I'll just say the first that comes to my mind:

"Animal" by Jim Yosef and RIELL, for Tally/Shay, specifically their destructive, bitter but also longing relationship in Specials, and probably also the fallout of this toxic relationship turning sexual once they're older and have processed a bit.

Which song makes you disassociate and daydream the fastest?

"Loud Magic" by Foreign Air right now. Makes me think on some original project idea I have heavily inspired by Babylon 5.

Also tagging everybody who wants

[the-cat-who-got-the-cream]

A Burning Hill Song Analysis

here's an essay i wrote on Mitski's "A Burning Hill," i submitted this for a poetry project in highschool and thought i should post this here. i painted the shirt myself to resemble the "white button-down"

In “A Burning Hill,” poet and songwriter Mitski describes her failed relationship and the self-healing she experienced afterward. Mitski’s use of metaphorical language and rhyme structure illuminates the hardships she experienced consequently from this relationship and her own destructive nature. She highlights the optimism that still remains despite this. The varying rhyme scheme reflects these conflicting feelings the speaker has.

The poem begins with the speaker sharing the clothes she is wearing. The “white button-down” symbolizes the start of a new beginning, starting fresh. White is associated with blankness or purity; this is what the speaker desires to have. The next line seems to be completely different from the first. She expresses her exhaustion and continues to share that in the third line. She further explains why she is so tired in the upcoming line, which cites a second person with the word “you.” Someone else, presumably a significant other, has drained her with these false promises they keep providing her. Lines 5-8 are the most meaningful in this poem, in which they mention the title with references to burning and fire. Each line is one whole extended metaphor describing the destruction the speaker has self-inflicted. The speaker describes herself as “the fire” (the destruction), “the forest” (her physical being) and the “witness watching it.” The witness is a metaphor for how the author is simultaneously watching this self-destruction happen to herself from an outsider’s point of view. She is self-aware, but does not do anything about it, as she states in the following line: “I stand in a valley watching it.” The stanza ends with the speaker stating her partner’s absence, seeming to have left her in her time of need and self-destruction. 

The second stanza opens with repeating the first line of the poem. It is emphasized with the conjunction “so,” and instead is followed by a positive outlook; this marks the shift in tone of the poem. Consequently, the speaker declares that “at least'' she can “be neat,” which continues in the third line by stating how she can be “clean.” This again alludes to the white button-down, with the color white being symbolic of purity and being clean. The speaker desires structure in her life after the chaos she has previously had. This theme continues with the following line listing the monotonous tasks the speaker can do to maintain a sense of normalcy in her life. The speaker wants to keep up appearances and be a conventional and functioning member of society. The poem ends with the speaker repeating the same thing in the last two lines; this emphasizes and shows the certainty in her decision to heal and focus on the little things in life to become happy again. She uses the word “love,” which could mean that instead of this partner, she previously had she will now “love some littler things” in place of them. Additionally, these last two lines use euphonic sounds to express the peace that the speaker is trying to achieve.

The author uses a change in rhyme structure to represent the changes in the speaker’s life. The first stanza is mostly free-verse, corresponding with the chaos the author describes going on in her life. This changes in the second stanza where each line rhymes, which matches the author’s self-described desire to be “neat” and “clean.” She wishes for stability in her life after this failed relationship.

Overall, A Burning Hill conveys a beautiful message about self-healing and persevering despite adversity. The world does not end during a break-up; there are still things in life to keep living for.

[vampirequeen019]

I apologize for the tardiness. This is chapter 5 of the story.

Art made by my dear friend, @ivii20 .

Tags for this story: Light Angst, sad themes, self-destructive tendencies, depression, symptoms of depression, happy ending.

Second Date, Second Chance.

Chapter 5.

Trust that everything will be alright.

*You are tuning in to WEXA. The most popular music station of the moment.*

*And this is your program, “The Rhythm of Music”. A program specially made for people who likes music regardless of its genre.*

*I’m your radio host Alex Santiago and today we will have a special segment called “Second Date”.*

*Did you go on a first date with that person you found special and want to ask for a second date? Don’t worry, we’ll help you.*

*Or did you have a first date that you thought was unforgettable but for some reason you didn’t get a second one? We can help you with that too.*

*All radio listeners who call will enter a raffle for an all-included romantic dinner at the “Marseillaise” restaurant. A limousine will pick you up and your companion at your home and take you to your destination.*

*Good luck to all.*

*Let’s start the program with two songs that I believe, without fear of being wrong, are the favorites of many. After these songs we will start with the segment “The Second Date”. So get ready, radio listening friends.*

*And here they are, for all of you, Elley Duhé with “Middle of the Night” followed by Dua Lipa with “Levitating”.*

~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~

“I’m sorry Jack, you are very nice and attractive but the truth is that your real date shouldn’t have been with me.”

“I don’t understand Sophia, what do you mean by that? Was I a joke or a dare that your friends asked you to do?”

“Calm down Jack, remember you’re on air. I’m sure Sophia has a good explanation for what she just said. Isn’t that right, Sophia?”

“That’s right, Alex. Jack, the truth is that the one who should have been on that date with you is my sister Rose and not me. Rose had an accident and now she is at home convalescing. She asked me to take her place because we look alike and most of our acquaintances say we could pass for twins. Since it would only be once because she would show up at the next date, I agreed to go in her place. But you’re very nice and cute and you don’t deserve to be lied to, that’s why I’m telling you the truth now. I’m sorry Jack, really.”

“Well Jack, there you have it. I’m sorry that was the answer you got.”

“Don’t worry Alex, I wanted an answer and I got it. Thanks for the help. Goodbye”.

*Now a few messages from our sponsors and when we return more music with Shakira and BZRP, “Music Sessions #53, and Reik featuring Rusherking, “A mi Lado”.*

~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~

*Welcome back to all our radio listeners to this your program “The Rhythm of Music”. For those of you who are just joining us right now, I am your radio host Alex Santiago and today we have a very special program because we have a segment called “Second Date”.*

*We already heard several of our radio listeners telling us about their first dates and their reason for wanting to go on a second. Some were successful and others not so much.*

*Now we have here one more radio listener who wants to tell us his story and why he wants a second date.*

“Go ahead pal, you’re on air.”

“First of all, thank you for accepting my call. Unlike the people who called to ask you for help on a second date, I’m not the one who wants to ask for a second date, I’m the one who didn’t show up for the date. But it is not the second one but the first one”.

Alex was shocked by what this guy was saying but he didn’t say anything and let him continue.

“I’m a sergeant in the ******* army, and on the day that was supposed to be our first date, I was called to the military base for an emergency. A helicopter came for me and I headed to my destination. I was out of the country for a year and just returned yesterday. I was unable to communicate with anyone for reasons I cannot discuss on air. But in all this time I never stopped thinking about her for a single moment. I have been longing to see her again and explain to her the reason for my absence.”

“I understand. First of all, thank you for your service. But explain to me better, are you in love with her? How did the both of you meet? Is it something you can tell us?”

“We met at my half brother’s farewell party. My younger sister organized it and invited my half brother’s friends and her friends. I didn’t know there would be a party because I hadn’t been there in a while and just arrived a couple of days back because I had a vacation permit. So during the party I would be on the second floor of the house and the party would take place on the first floor.”

“Everything was going well. I wouldn’t have to interact with anyone if I didn’t want to. About an hour after the party started, while I was in the studio library, the most beautiful being I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and will meet in my entire life entered.”

“She was perfect”, he laughed a little and continued. “She is perfect. When she entered, she was amazed by all the books on the shelves and immediately went over to look at them.

At first I was upset because no one should be in that part of the house. But seeing her get so excited about the books my annoyance passed and gave way to fun watching how she looked like a little girl in a candy store. She thought aloud when she read the names of the books that I couldn’t resist anymore and spoke up to let her know that she wasn’t alone there.”

“Her reaction was so lovely. She gave a little jump and a little scream. When she turned to look at me, God, I felt the ground move. I was completely blown away. As cheesy as it sounds, it was love at first sight. I decided right then and there that she would be my wife and the mother of my children. When I introduced myself and extended my hand to greet her, I felt an electric current go through my whole body and apparently she felt it too because her eyes widened and she immediately removed her hand from mine”.

“I tried to start a conversation with her but she was very nervous and only gave me short answers. So I thought that talking about books would be a good excuse to talk and get to know each other better.”

“It was a good idea because it gave us the opportunity to talk not only about books but also about ourselves and get to know each other better. Everything she told me seemed interesting to me. All of her is interesting.”

“We spent the whole night until the morning of the next day talking. At no time did I feel that we lacked topics to talk about. That same morning we kissed for the first time and God! It was magical! I felt it in my whole being. We only kissed but I felt like we had connected more intimately than if we had made love.”

“To have left her side without us having the opportunity to start a relationship devastated me enormously. The only thing that motivated me to continue and keep doing my work was the fact that when it was finished, I would be able to see her again. I can only imagine how it affected her the fact that I left without telling her.”

“That’s why I dared to call your program. I want to talk to her and explain what happened. I have not dared to call her for fear that she will hang up on me or that she won’t know who I am and does not answer me. My cell phone number changed when I left but hers is engraved in my memory.”

“If you could help me with this I would be eternally grateful.”

“Oh wow. It is a story that frankly I did not expect. But of course my team and I will help you in whatever way we can”.

The producer signaled to Alex and he nodded in understanding.

“My producer has the cell phone number you gave him at the beginning of your call and he is dialing it right now. But tell me your name first and her name.”

“My name is Sesshomaru Taisho and her name is Kagome Higurashi.”

There was the sound of a phone ringing and a girl’s voice answering the call.

“Yes, hello?”

“Hello, good afternoon. Could I speak to Miss Kagome Higurashi please?”

“This is her. Who do I have the pleasure of talking to?”

“My name is Alex Santiago and I’m calling from WEXA radio station. This is the radio program, “The Rhythm of Music”. How have you been?”

“Um, fine? Sorry, I have no idea what’s the reason for your call and I’m a little confused about it. It is not common to receive these types of calls.” She laughed nervously.

“Of course, my apologies. First of all, do you have a few minutes to talk? I would like to explain to you the reason for my call and I would like you to listen to me until the end. As I said before, I am from a radio program and it will be on air.

“Yes of course. Please continue”.

“Today we have a special segment in the program called “Second Date” and radio listeners call us asking for help. We help them talk to the people they had their first date with and find out if they want to go on a second one.”

“I imagine that with this, you get an idea as to the reason for my call. I have a person on the other end of the call who would like to ask you on a date. This person told us that you and him met at his half-brother’s farewell party and that you spent the whole night talking and getting to know each other better on the second floor of the house where the party was held."

On the other end of the call, they heard Kagome gasping in surprise.

~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~

Kagome gasped in surprise and brought a hand to her mouth. Her breathing became agitated. She had to get to her dorm as soon as possible. She ran to her dorm door and opened it. She hurriedly got in and locked it.

She had to sit down because her legs couldn’t hold her anymore. She ran to her bed and sat down. She took a deep breath and asked, “How do you know about that?”

The radio host of the show said, “You can call me Alex, Kagome. I don’t just know that. I also know that it was love at first sight for both of you and that you are soul mates. After all, he hasn’t been able to forget you in all this time.”

“He? What do you mean by 'he'?”

“I’m talking about Sesshomaru, Kagome.” Alex said.

Kagome squeezed her cell phone as a tear rolled down her cheek. “How…” She cleared her throat. She felt a huge lump there and struggled to swallow. “How do you know his name, Alex?”

“Because he’s on the other end of the line and he wants to talk to you.”

Kagome, it’s me. Sesshomaru.” A small sob was heard on the other end of the call.

~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~

In the radio station booth where the program was taking place, both the producer and the assistants and Alex himself were completely silent. What should be done in these cases? Stay on air or let them continue in private?

Alex turned to his producer to see if he should continue on air or let them talk in private. The producer signaled for him to continue on air. Alex nodded and continued to pay attention to the conversation. He was willing to help them if necessary.

~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~

“Se-Sesshomaru.” Before Kagome could say anything else, Sesshomaru cut her off. “I know this may be sudden but I’d like to talk to you, Kagome.”

“Why now Sesshomaru? Where have you been all this time? Why didn’t you show up for our date?” Kagome asked him, squeezing his phone a little with one hand while the other gripped the edge of her bed in an attempt to stay calm.

“That’s why I want to see you and talk to you, Kagome. I want to explain everything that happened, the reason for my absence and why I didn’t show up for our date that day a year ago”.

“A year and two weeks ago. But who counts the time, right?” She knew she was being a bit sarcastic but she couldn’t help it.

Sesshomaru sighed. “You are right, one year and two weeks. Please allow me to explain everything, Kagome.” His voice was pleading.

“Sesshomaru, I…” her voice cracked a little. “Many things have happened since you left.” She took a deep breath, preparing herself to tell him what happened in his absence.

“When you didn’t show up for our date,” she began. “I thought maybe there was a good reason why you didn’t show up. I waited for you for more than three hours at that place. I don’t even know why I waited so long for you.” She giggled a little, running a hand through her hair. “Then I went home. While there, I replayed the events leading up to the failed date in my head over and over and over again.”

“The next day I did not show up for work. I knew I couldn’t work like this and I slept all day. That was the first time I had nightmares. As the days passed they became more frequent. I could hardly sleep, not to mention eat, I was hardly hungry. I was like this for a couple of months. By then, it was so bad that my best friend had to do an emergency intervention to help me. I was self-destructing and I hadn’t realized it”.

“I went to therapy with a psychologist and was diagnosed with mild depression. They gave me treatment and with the help of my loved ones I managed to get out of it.” She finished with a sigh.

“I’m so sorry you went through that because of me, Kagome. Just, let me explain everything that happened. Why I left without telling you anything.” Sesshomaru told her in a pleading tone.

Kagome was about to reply when Alex interrupted them. “Kagome, the production of the show and I, would like to give you guys a chance to talk calmly and in private. I think the two of you deserve to clear things up between you. The ending will be decided by the two of you, but I honestly think it’s worth hearing what Sesshomaru has to say.”

“So we decided to give you guys a dinner date at an exclusive restaurant, all paid for of course. Limousine transportation included. You just have to accept to talk to Sesshomaru,” Alex concluded.

“There is something else you need to know before I give you my answer, Sesshomaru.” Kagome was nervous but she didn’t want to lie to him so she told him the truth. “I am in a relationship with someone, Sesshomaru. He is a good guy and he helped me a lot. When I needed it most, he was there. I’m actually engaged to him. Just a week ago we got engaged and I don’t think it’s right for you and me to go on a date.”

Kagome wanted to accept the invitation, she really did. She needed to know what really happened, but she was afraid that her feelings for him might be reflected in her eyes when the two of them were finally facing each other.

“Give Sesshomaru a chance to explain everything to you, Kagome. I assure you that you will not regret it. Just tell your boyfriend that it’s important that you talk to him.” Alex intervened before either of them could say anything else. The producer gave him the good job sign with both of his hands.

“Kagome. I don’t care that you’re engaged. I still want to talk to you. Please just say yes.” Sesshomaru begged.

~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~

Sesshomaru felt like he was floating on clouds as he heard Kagome speak after not hearing her voice in a long time.

He thought that perhaps she had changed her cell phone number but he was glad when he saw that she hadn’t. That meant he had a chance to talk to her.

The feeling of floating among the clouds was diminishing at Kagome’s words. She had suffered because of him, of that he was sure. He felt his heart clench as Kagome told him everything she had been through.

If only he had had time to tell her, to explain why he would not show up. But his father did not give in, he didn’t give him permission to make a call or send at least a message explaining why he would not show up for the date. If he had done it, things wouldn’t be the way they are right now. Kagome wouldn’t have suffered so much because of him and she wouldn’t be engaged to another man.

He cursed his father in every language he knew. Thanks to him, his life was turned upside down. If he couldn’t convince Kagome to talk to him and clear everything up, he’d beat him to a pulp regardless of whether he was his father.

He felt how his heart had broken when Kagome told him that she was engaged to someone else. But he would not give up. She wasn’t married to her fiancé yet, so he still had a chance to do something. And he definitely would, even if it meant involving his father to do it.

He listened as Kagome sighed, and held his breath. Kagome had to agree to that date. He asked the heavens for a chance to make things right. That was all he needed, to be able to talk to her, he would take care of the rest.

“Alright. I agreed to go on that date, but I swear to God if you don’t show up you won’t hear from me again, Sesshomaru.” She said it with a tone of finality.

Sesshomaru's heart lurched in his chest. She said yes. She had said yes. He turned his gaze to the sky and thanked for the opportunity.

“Thank you Kagome. I promise you will not regret anything. I won’t let you down, I swear.”

~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~•~~~•~~~~

At the radio station everyone was celebrating Sesshomaru's success. They didn’t know him and yet they wanted it to work between him and Kagome.

“I’m glad you agreed to give Sesshomaru a chance, Kagome. The both of you deserve to clear things up and be happy.” He straightened up in his chair and continued speaking. “My producer will talk to you about the details of your dinner date. Thank you very much for calling the show and allowing us to help you, Sesshomaru. And thank you Kagome, for agreeing to talk to him.”

The two thanked him in the same way and were transferred to talk to the producer of the program to finish up the details of where their date would be.

On the other side of the production booth, Alex Santiago ended the program with more music.

TBC.

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