#this might only be funny to me 💀

[wellwatersurprise]

dean gets pranked 4k no censors

based on that trend which crawled out of the dreaded clock app that wouldn’t leave my head

[as per the usual, click for better quality]

here’s the unseparated version of the first page. if that interests you.

[hyuuukais]

real.

[swampybogg]

[king-lena]

it isn’t clogging up his brain but the next thing he is quoted as saying is “roger’s got this fabulous chin dimple in his chin…” after looking wistfully at an old pink floyd photo LIKE GIRL COME AWNNNN and then like twenty years later he puts out his album on roger’s birthday and then like two months after that brings him up unprompted in an interview by lowkey calling him a heartthrob while trying to get a dig in at him and then saying that the interviewer should ask roger how he feels about david being a heartthrob lmao like sir i am afraid you are losing the idgaf war and bad 💀

[whereismyhat5678]

I had a clear vision with this one.

I did NOT need to spend that much time on this BUT DAMN IT IT’S FUNNY-

Context: Peppino was annoying the fuck outta’ him and it got so bad he wanted to take him home.

He was done with his bullshit- 💀

[sinkthoseshipspoll]

Would you believe, this was my first time ever seeing the Pacific Ocean?

I got the opportunity to go aboard this beauty on one of my days in California and honestly between the hype of rollercoasters (one of my hyper fixations, with me constantly talking about Arrow Dynamics like an old lover) and the delight I had doing laps around The Queen Mary? I’ve never had a more perfect and delightful experience ever in my life.

[saturdays--sun]

LMAO this was about me, actually.

[oldmanfuckerbrigade]

i kinda wanna start doing musical comedy, but i’m not a cishet white guy so i don’t know if i’d be able to hit the target demographic.

[tracksidebaby]

Best of Both Worlds

Summary: YN and Kimi are childhood best friends and closer than ever even with Kimi away at races every other weekend. So when Kimi starts falling behind there is no question that YN is gonna be there to help him.

Requested: Yes / Anon

Instagram /

liked by: kimi.antonelli and 2,901 others

yn.ln: if you see me crying in the library, no you don't

classmate1: caption is too real rn 😓

username: i need an xl coffee

kimi.antonelli: i understand nothing.

username: why is kimi in the comments

| username: they go to school together

| username: they've been friends for years actually, Kimi talks about her in interviews

Texts /

YN's Instagram Story /

Instagram /

liked by: kimi.antonelli, classmate2, and 1,289 others

yn.ln:  I slept on my notes hoping they’d absorb. spoiler: they didn’t.

classmate3: a few more months guys 💪🏻

classmate2: she's prepped with snacks and not much else

kimi.antonelli: if you're struggling then there is no hope for me

| yn.ln: we're gonna pass 💪🏻

username: new way alert??? @/f1gossips ??

Instagram /

liked by: kimi.antonelli, yn/ln and 69,847 others

classmate4: @/kimi.antonelli is back at school and now yn has forgotten that other people exist. This was yn's reaction to Kimi coming back and Kimi only has eyes for her.

yn.ln: wait why are we kindaaaa 👀

yn.ln: wag era, can i drop out of school

| kimi.antonelli: no

| kimi.antonelli: i need you to pass

| kimi.antonelli: after that i'll provide for you

| username: im so confused are they dating or not ???

| classmate5: theyre not dating but for years it's just been the two of them, they might as well be dating

username: who even is this girl 💀

username: not kimi's classmates just exposing them btw

| username: right like i'd be so annoyed

Instagram /

liked by: kimi.antonelli, classmate6, lando and 13,441 others

yn.ln: and it's all too much for little @/kimi.antonelli

username: THE CAPTION

username: imagine kimi buying you coffee

username: aw he fell asleep

username: matching pjs and theyre not dating, ok

kimi.antonelli: why would you post that picture

| yn.ln: you're cute

| classmate6: i just know hes blushing

Texts /

Instagram /

liked by: kimi.antonelli, classmate7 and 8,901 others

yn.ln: I tutor him in math but I think he needs to tutor me in formula one because what is this?

kimi.antonelli: YOU WATCHED A RACE?

| kimi.antonelli: I got points!!

| kimi.antonelli: maybe you are my good luck

| username: wait thats actually so cute

| yn.ln: so so proud of you even if i didn't understand anything that was happening !!!

classmate7: this isn't a big deal to the rest of you but yn hates all sports so this is huge

| yn.ln: please don't expose me like that

Instagram /

liked by: yn.ln, mercedesamgf1, and 792,901 others

kimi.antonelli: best of both worlds

yn.ln: ok hannah montana

username: kimi still being at school is so funny to me 😭

| username: right??? if that were me id have left the second i signed that mercedes contract

| yn.ln: mamma wants him to study so he studies

| kimi.antonelli: i love mamma but she scares me

| yn.ln: me too, i had coffee with her the other day and i was on EDGE

| username: so she has coffee with kimi's mom and we're supposed to believe they're just friends?

| username:  i mean they have known each other since they were kids, its not that out there

| username: i've known people since i was a kid and i would not be having coffee with their parents without them there 💀💀

yn.ln: also omg i made it onto a famous f1 drivers instagram !?!?!?

| kimi.antonelli: blocked

Texts /

Instagram /

liked by: kimi.antonelli, classmate8 and 12,901 others

yn.ln: one thing missing.

classmate8: had the best time

username: shes def talking about kimi with that caption

| classmate9: 100%

| classmate10: kimi may as well have been there with how much time they spent of ft

| yn.ln: excuse me why am i being exposed like this in my own comments

kimi.antonelli: so sad i missed this

| yn.ln: stfu you just got p6 in Japan thats like infinitely cooler

| kimi.antonelli: not as cool as hanging out with you

| username: oh ok so he's down BAD then

| classmate11: yeah those two have always been a little too into each other

| username: but they're not together??

| classmate11: nope

classmate8: btw she wrote 'yn & kimi' on the wall

Instagram /

liked by: yn.ln, mercedesamgf1 and 992,901 others

kimi.antonelli: another one.

username: lmao the dry asf caption

username: kimi being salty hes at the gp instead of a class trip

username: my man got points on the board and he just wants to be in school

| username: more like he wants to be with his girl

username: imagine being one of the most promising rookies on the grid and not being able to celebrate properly because of a school crush

yn.ln: ok well if you're not gonna celebrate i will

| yn.ln: P6 IN JAPAN KIMI YOU DID THAT!!!!

| kimi.antonelli: thank you, angelo

| mercedesamgf1: we like you, @/yn.ln

| kimi.antonelli: back off, admin, she's mine

| username: KIMIYN CONFIRMED?!?!

yn.ln: is that lewis hamilton? damn i finally recognise someone that isn't you

YN's Instagram Story /

Instagram /

liked by: yn.ln, mercedesamgf1, and 992,901 others

kimi.antonelli: the more time i spend here, the harder it is to leave.

username: what he meant to say is: the more time i spend with her, the harder it is to leave.

* liked by kimi.antonelli

yn.ln: @/mercedesamgf1, please stop taking him away from me

| mercedesamgf1: we need him

| username: someone get this girl on the track

| mercedesamgf1: 🫡🫡🫡

yn.ln: another post tho omg is this what fame feels like

| kimi.antonelli: youre the worst

georgerussell63: looking good mate, enjoy the week off

username: so they're just straight up gonna post this and still deny they're together

username: the best couple😍

username: im sorry they fall asleep like that but aren't dating??

username: ah childhood best friends to lovers i live for this

Instagram /

liked by: kimi.antonelli, mercedesamgf1, georgerussell63 and 43,901 others

yn.ln: "a few more weeks and we're done, a few more weeks and we're done, a few more weeks and we're done" I mutter, angry, sleep deprived and never wanting to see another number again

kimi.antonelli: imagine how i feel

kimi.antonelli: if it weren't for you tutoring me i'd have no chance

| yn.ln: yes you are very lucky to have me

mercedesamgf1: poor thing, we know just the fix

| yn.ln: what does this mean?

| username: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

kimi.antonelli: and it's all too much for little yn ln

Texts /

Instagram /

liked by: kimi.antonelli, georgerussell63, lewishamilton and 398,382 others

yn.ln: life when your best friend is famous

kimi.antonelli: life when your best friend does something nice for you and you ditch him for lewis hamilton

| yn.ln: just be proud i know a driver who isn't you

| kimi.antonelli: i'd rather you know nobody.

| yn.ln: dead

| yn.ln: also lewis hamilton has nothing on you....apart from like a couple hundreds of millions and a few championships

| yn.ln: but id take you any day

| kimi.antonelli: you better

username: kimi being jealous over lewis is so funny

username: wait he really invited all of his school friends thats adorable

username: toto leaves for one race and kimi's turned the garage into a playground

username: ok but yn was serving looks

| username: she knows shes gonna be a future wag one day

| yn.ln: i'd be a brilliant wag

| kimi.antonelli: go be lewis' wag

| yn.ln: as if you'd let me

username: lewis in the likes tho 👀

Texts /

YN's Instagram Story /

Twitter /

Instagram /

liked by: kimi.antonelli, mercedesamgf1, georgerussell63, and 102,901 others

yn.ln: is this...fame?

username: OMG SHE POSTED THE F1GOSSIP POST 😭

| username: she is iconic

kimi.antonelli: you enjoy this way too much

| yn.ln: i told you i'd make a good wag, the people agree

| username: WAG HER UP RN

username: kimi might not want her but damn i do

username: can kimi fight??

mercedesamgf1: our fav duo is back

Twitter /

Texts /

Instagram /

liked by: kimi.antonelli, georgerussell63, mercedesamgf1 and 692,901 others

yn.ln: THAT'S MY GUY RIGHT THERE!! P3 FOR MY ROOKIE OF THE YEAR!!! THIRD YOUNGEST DRIVER IN HISTORY TO FINISH ON THE PODIUM!!! THAT'S MY KIMI!!! so so proud of you, @/kimi.antonelli

username: im not even going to ask if she can fight because you just know for him she can

| yn.ln: id fight dirty too

kimi.antonelli: il milo angelo, thank you for being here, thank you for celebrating with me

| yn.ln: so so proud of you baby

username: the hard launch we have been waiting for omg its here

classmate13: OMG FINALLY

georgerussel63: What a win, well done mate

| yn.ln: well done on p1 george!!!!

mercedesamgf1: that's our kimi

| yn.ln: admin, i love you please don't make me fight you

Instagram /

liked by: kimi.antonelli, georgerussell63, mercedesamgf1 and 992,901 others

yn.ln: imagine we get p3 in Canada and then mere days later we're forced to sit our final exams. wish us luck 🤞🏼

kimi.antonelli: im sorry ?? WE won p3 ?? i must have missed you in the car

| yn.ln: your wins are my wins

| kimi.antonelli: i won't argue with that, they are all dedicated to you, amore mio

username: yn actually perfectly summed up kimi's life with that caption because wtf

georgerussell63: good luck kids

| username: george calling them kids omg 😭

classmate13: can confirm yn pulled up in kimis car and they kissed each other good luck before going in

| yn.ln: i hope you fail all your exams

Instagram /

liked by: yn.ln, mercedesamgf1, georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, lewishamilton, olliebearman and 992,901 others

kimi.antonelli: exams are done and now we celebrate. @/yn.ln, Grazie mille for everything you have done for me, for being by my side and helping me manage my dream and my studies. mamma already loved you but this just made her so sure you were the one for me. and you are, te amo, il mio angelo. i am so glad you are my best friend and love of my life.

georgerussell63: congrats mate, you've killed it this season with school and racing. go celebrate with your girl

username: omg i love them

username: best friend and love of his life i am SCREAMING

yn.ln: te amo, baby, couldn't dream of doing life without you

[rafeslvbug]

Nfl Rafe when your pregnant hc!! Pls!!

(must be a mind reader to know i was thinking of this)

nfl!rafe when your pregnant…

spends as much time as he possibly can with you. doesn’t ever want to leave your side. you’ll be touring with him during the regular season, and by his side 24/7 during the offseason.

if it’s your first (when you had your son) he was such a worrier. all he did was stress over the baby, over your cramps, over every little pain.

with your second (your daughter) he was more fun. he’d take your son up to the belly, read bedtime stories in funny little voices, drum the belly when you’d walk by (he wouldn’t do that with your first because he’d be afraid of damaging the baby 💀)

speaking of stories, he’ll either read actual stories he hopes they’ll like or he might even play nfl games to get them accustomed to it. praying it might actually make them love nfl (worked with your son, not your daughter)

“and when your daddy plays football, he’s the best on the pitch, no guy can get past him. that’s gonna be me when you’re born, no boyfriend’s gonna get past me” (when you’re pregnant with your daughter)

in the least weirdest way, he loves cuddling with you when you’re pregnant the most. your back on his chest, his arm around you and hand on your belly. or spooning with, again, his hand on your belly. he loves holding your belly.

would want to try those weird trends like lifting your bump to see if it relieves pressure. if it does, and i’ve heard it does, he would do it all the time. anything to lessen your pain.

compliments the bump. daily. every hour. every minute. bump obsession. not only in sleep, day to day life too. he loves when your tops are too tight and they crop above the bump, likes to smooth his hands over it, and press kisses to it. will whistle if you walk by.

“lookin’ good momma, should wear that shit more often sweetcheeks”

no hard labour!! lift nothing, walk no where too far unless you purposely want to go for a walk. rafe will not have you doing strenuous activities. he doesn’t let you do that even while not pregnant, but when you are?? becomes even more firm.

sees you carrying laundry? nope.

“hey, drop that! ‘s my job momma, you go sit on the couch, i’ll be there in a second”

some men tend to think their women look less good when preggo.. this is not rafe. he parades you around like you’ve never looked better, even when you feel like shit, he makes sure you know you’re gorgeous.

cameras spot you two out && about, he’s proudly showing off that bump. like a teenager all over again, like he can’t believe you’re having his baby. thought for sure you were gonna dump him at some point, even if he wouldn’t have allowed it.

[cazshmere]

Astrology Observations Pt. 8 🦂

materialist🔖

DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!! 🦂

🦂 I think people who have their chiron in the 3rd/7th or 11th house may experience significant insecurity about posting on social media and being in front of a camera, or even commenting under various posts online. They often overthink the things they put out online/the things they were going to post online 😭 and also if they post pictures/videos they might rewatch the picture/video 984726261 times and often find a SOME tiny fault and convince themselves to delete whatever it is that they have posted. This placement can create a deep-seated fear of judgment and a tendency to second-guess every public interaction

🦂I have noticed that scorpio moons and capricorn moons have very involved and critical mothers/parents, exhibiting behaviors typical of helicopter parenting. For instance they could micromanage every single thing you do or have some sort of comment to make about every little thing you do (also applicable to aries and virgo moons). I also feel that cappy and scorpio moons may find it the hardest to detach from their generational trauma because their parents may have instilled strict principles/beliefs into them and they end up carrying forward all these beliefs which in return makes them more susceptible to repeating toxic patterns which then ends up causing A LOT of trauma to these individuals ❤️‍🩹

🦂 honestly taurus placements aren’t always mindful and demure, despite being ruled by venus. Most taurus placements (esp sun,moon and mars) are NOT afraid to call people out on their bs and are extremely straightforward and direct. The type to insult you straight to your face if you annoy them or smtg 😭 and you’d be like ouch, what was the reason for that??💀. They can come across as arrogant and rude sometimes BUT this all makes a lot of sense as a lot of them tend to be sidereal aries placements after all🙏😂

🦂 speaking of sidereal placements I wanna talk about how virgos can be super playful and child-like (esp with the people they are comfortable with) because they’re leo placements in sidereal + virgo placements also really crave attention, sometimes way more than Leo’s tbh✨

🦂 aries and scorp moon/venus women often attract guys who initially start off as wanting to be/being their “friends” BUT the only reason they wanted to be their friend in the first place is because they see potential for a romantic/sexual relationship with them. It’s sad because literally every guy friend you have/had TOTALLY had other intentions that weren’t platonic 🥲

🦂 having placements in the 2nd house (esp if there are no harsh aspects) just mellows down the intensity of the placement. For instance moon in the 2nd house people can regulate their emotions much more stable and easy manner. Having placements in the 2nd house is such a BLESSING.

🦂 if you think you know someone with a scorpio moon, moon in the 8th house or moon-pluto native, trust me you DON’T😭. no one will ever KNOW every single part of them. They remind me of onions yk? SO MANY LAYERS to them and no one will ever truly know everything about them

🦂 also idk if I’ve mentioned this before but CAN WE JUST TAKE A MINUTE TO APPRECIATE HOW FUCKING FUNNY/HUMOROUS CANCER PLACEMENTS ARE???? literally SO SO witty and make you laugh till your stomach hurts😭🫶🏻

🦂 with age, saturn in cancer natives can look a lot like their mothers 💗

🦂 shadow traits are often expressed through the moon and mars, as these planets govern our raw emotions and drives. For example, an aries moon’s may react with impulsive outbursts and frustration, while a scorpio mars might exhibit controlling, obsessive, or manipulative behaviors to maintain power. These primal reactions tend to surface under stress or vulnerability. To work on your shadow self, it's helpful to focus on your Moon and Mars placements, as these often reveal where you're repeating or expressing toxic behaviors. By understanding how these signs influence your emotional reactions and drive, you can better recognize and address patterns that need healing.

banner/pic credits to the rightful owners

© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]

[lianella-artist]

Dad!Ren and his daughter Shayla (My OC fankid!!!)

FINALLY, after some hard work i represent to you.. My OC Shayla! Shayla is based on the official cutiesigh artwork with AU Dad!Ren. This post will have all the basic info about her so far + some headcanons about Ren's family life and his relationship with Shayla. So it's going to be a kinda? long post! I've put a lot of work and love into these arts. Enjoy :3

Redacted holding Shayla!! and their very different reactions

They're just having a bit of a nap on the sofa after Shayla painted Ren's face... and Shayla is drooling on dad's soft chest😭 (kind of inspired?? by this post!)

Her reference:

BASIC INFO

Clarification: in my AU, where there is Shayla, Redacted doesn't pretend to be Ren, but acts naturally! But I use both names in the text

Shayla is a kind, naive, sincere, energetic and cheerful girl who is always looking for adventure. But often, due to her age, her trusting nature and her curiosity, she doesn't always understand the risks and ends up in various messes. The girl is very friendly to everyone she meets! She believes that the world is a kind and beautiful place! Some kids think that Shayla is strange and weird (at least because of her "weird" family), which is why she gets mocked, but she doesn't read social cues (she's kinda autistic coded).

Likes: creative activities (drawing, needlework, sewing (not very wearable yet), making different outfits, daddy's jewelry, laughing, getting up early, climbing trees.

Dislikes: being controlled and restricted, rudeness, social games (she doesn't understand them).

She is the only and most wanted child for Ren and Angel, they had her when they were 30-35 years old. They love her very much!! Thanks to Ren, the family is very wealthy! Redacted spoils her a lot, fulfills all her wishes (well, as much as possible, since it's all after Angel, of course). In Shayla's family, both parents work, but Ren does it from home like he used to. So while Angel is at work, Redacted spends most of his time with their daughter. He picks her up from school, takes her to classes, goes for walks with her + does the housework, cooks, etc (basically he's a stay-at-home dad, because I don't think he needs to spend half a day on hacking; a couple of three hours is enough). With the birth of Shayla, Ren has begun to keep an eye not only on Angel, but also on their daughter, though not as closely. Thanks to this, he manages to get the girl out of trouble in time, but he often arrives at the very last moment.

Shayla is very attached to her father, she thinks he is the coolest dad in the world!!! She loves spending time with him, as well as his dark style and tattoos! She is a daddy's girl :))

While Angel is undoubtedly still Ren's top priority, Redacted genuinely loves his daughter both as an affirmation/continuation of their love with Angel AND for who she is. Her cheerful nature often lifts his spirits. Now, he has another person in his life who helps him see the world through a different, less apathetic and indifferent lens. Ren sees how naive and kind his daughter is and protects her to keep that light in her. And when Shayla comes up with questionable ideas… He supports her! He even suggests something himself😭 BUT even he has limits. He will not do anything that might harm her.

(pretty much everything canon about how Sai describes Dad!Ren)

RANDOM FACTS AND HEADCANONS:

I named her after that meme OOHH MY SHAYLAAA😭 (I didn't have a name for her at first, so I just called her that in my mind for a while. It was actually quite funny to me… but eventually it started to grow on me, ngl, so I kept it)

You know those stories where a kid goes into their mom's makeup bag, purse, or closet and tries on something? In this case, mom is Ren💀 Shayla loves to find all kinds of alt stuff from Redacted, ask what it is, and then try it on herself! Redacted gave her some - a spiked bracelet and a silver chain!

Ren agrees to paint Shayla's nails. She wears all the colors of the rainbow, but she likes to keep all her nails black on one hand, though!

Thanks to the creative atmosphere in the family and Redacted's alternative style, Shayla will be a goth in the future! She's also going to become an alt-clothing designer.

She is wearing three of the five gold hairpins that Ren used to wear! When Redacted and Angel got married, he started wearing only two hairpins - a symbol of their relationship. Years later, when Shayla was born and grew up, the rest of the hairpins were inherited to her, and she wears them with great pride, just like the rest of her dad's jewelry.

Shayla also has her dad's features. She has pale, dry skin and black hair. However, her eyes are a unique combination of Ren's color (blue) + my Angel's (red) = creating a beautiful purple color for her.(I know that's not how gynetics works lmaoo I just think it's cute!!!)

aaaand also, @yzumimenu drew some amazing fanart of Shayla, LOOK AT HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TY SO MUCH AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[yaseraphine]

pick a card 5 - what are people's first impressions of you ?

masterlist / ko-fi

my last post : your 2025 main lesson and themes.

Pile 1

10 of cups, King of Swords, 9 of Wands, 7 of Swords, 4 of Wands, The Sun, The Lovers, Death

Mischevious, Cunning, Manipulative in a flirtatious way ??, flirtatious, funny, Victorious, Happy, Fun to be around, Doesn’t take responsibility for things, Playful, Too unserious, Hot and sexy, Hot n Fun, Short n Sweet, Wet n Wild, If you’re a woman, people might think you easily get super wet (what is wrong with people respectfully 💀), Femme fatale/fboy boy, You look like trouble pile 1 not gonna lie lmaoo, Too hot to handle, People assume you’re a cheater or just kind of sneaky but all of that dark energy comes out somehow really playful ?? At first glance you exude strong Gemini and Aries energies  : kind of childish and playful, really “oopsie daisy”. They’re impression is that you’re the type of person that plays dumb when you get called out for your misbehavior. People might think you are commitment phobic, A player but people don't even mind to be heartbroken if it's you : “I don’t care if I get played by them tbh” people lowkey want to get heartbroken by you (people are crazy 🤡) 

People’s first impressions of you is that you’re a firecracker. Pile 1 I keep on seeing Maddy from Euphoria and Megan Thee Stallion’s Realer era, Pimpin is a song that plays in the background when you’re walking in the street lmaoo You look like you're always in a badass edit

I am hearing the lyrics “she bad mix the ratchet with the classy ooh so bad i just couldn’t let her past me no i told her “shawty, you so right but you so wrong”. Pile 1, you definitely got that aaah (reference to that one tiktok sound of She Knows - Ne-yo feat Juicy J and T pain). You literally make people do double takes on you.

People directly assume if you came into their life, you would ruin them but they would consent to their own self destruction because of how hot you are.

People's first impressions of you is that you’re a master manipulator, but not a horrible one that genuinely leaves others traumatized forever. You’re flirty, sometimes on purpose, sometimes not, but it's mostly people's delusions and projections that hurt them more than anything. They just assume things when you never meant anything, and honestly I don't even think you give people mixed signals. People mix them up by themselves. Like you smile at them just out of politeness and people are like “ damn they're into me or what ?!” What kind of people are around you Pile 1 ? Never met this level of delusion in my life 😭☠️

Something extremely strange about those impressions is that I don’t think people think you’re toxic ?? Which is a bit weird because I have been only describing manipulative behaviors… Pile 1, your energy is really complex to grasp and it stirs intense and contradictory reactions inside people when they first meet you.

I am getting people make a lot of assumptions about you because it’s not just first impressions. People project a lot on you, probably because you are really attractive and people seem to not be able to think a hot and sexy person can be a good and kind hearted person ??? These people are projecting hard literally

People’s first impressions of you is that you are a really sunny person, a really bright and happy go lucky person. 

They also instantly get that you probably got a lot of suitors and people at your feet, waiting for their chance with you. 

When they talk to you, I feel like people get really insecure and they instantly start to compare your life (i mean the 1000 assumptions of what your life is like that they created in their heads on the spot...) and compare it to their own lives. They compare your eloquence, your energy, your aura, the energy and the vibes you exude with their lack of charisma and presence. I don’t know if you’re around a lot of insecure people but be careful, some of them are secretly waiting for your downfall because of how jealous they are of you.

The type of people that are jealous of you instantly when they first see you are generally the same gender as you. If you’re a man, they compare for example how healthy your hair are, how women are easily attracted to you and follow you everywhere you go . Not going to lie it’s giving Chad VS Nice guy/ Incel kind of dynamic. Like they're internal dialogue would probably something like : “ Nice guys finish last anyways… I am sure he treats girls bad and is a player and girls still love him…It's so fucking unfair.” (such a low vibrational energy yikes 🤢). If you’re a girl, they compare your body, your smile, your makeup and how your outfits fit you perfectly , how their own crushes seem to like you more than them YET you don’t even pay mind to them (the jealous people’s crushes) lol 

Pile 1, I would advise you to be extra protective of yourself and your energy. Your spirit irritates a lot of people’s demons.

I find it interesting because this pile is heavy on gender dynamics, power of attraction,... Most of you here are probably straight, or bisexual at least. I don’t see much queer action going on. You also have a really young and fresh energy so you are probably in your 20s.

You incite a lot of hate, jealousy and envy from the same gender. And you incite a lot of obsession, desire and admiration from the opposite. You incite so much jealousy just by your presence, and it happens almost systematically and starts right when people meet you for the first time. I feel like you might have lilith somewhere prominent in your chart, first house, harshly aspected with your ascendant, also Neptune dominance.

People look at you and they instantly think to themselves “this person should star in a movie, what are they doing working in at the local Walmart ??” or “they should be in the cover of vogue. Why are they in college ? They're too hot to be sitting in a classroom all day ?!!” 

Something I am getting from all this channeling is that people's first impressions of you are generally extreme, and mostly false 💀 Different people have different assumptions about you, but everyone seem to agree that you first come across as a heartbreaker and a player. Basically pile 1, you look like trouble at first glance.

The quote I got for you is a beautiful one from Carl Jung : “People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls”

MUSIC : Pimpin by Megan Thee Stallion / Ne-yo feat Juicy J, T-pain - She Knows (Remix) 2014

Pile 2

Ace of Wands Rx, 5 of Wands, 4 of Wands, 6 of Swords, 2 of Swords, 8 of Cups, The Hanged Man, 5 of Pentacles

People’s first impressions of you is that you’re really closed off and standoffish. Really protective over your energy, your time and your space. You appear somehow aggressively defensive, really “get out of my way bitch” type of energy. 

People’s first impressions are that you’re holding on to a lot of pain and hurt which, in result, makes you really hostile. People can see at first glance that you have been through a lot of negative experiences in life, which made you in return cold and distant. 

Pile 2, you give the energy of a black cat, and you hiss at any person trying to approach you too closely. You really have that lone cat energy.

You have the vibes of someone that bites back. I am hearing the audio “Get your fucking dog bitch!! “ / “It don’t bite.” / ‘YES IT DO !!!”. People think you will jump on them at any given moment if they say something that you don’t like,...lol

When they first meet you, people try to be really careful with their words because they are scared that if they say something wrong, they will cross you. If you’re with a group or someone else when people first meet you, they will avoid, out of fear, to directly engage with you, and will observe how your friends or the people that are with you handle you so they can do the same. 

Pile 2, people’s first impressions of you is that you are scary as hell lmaoo

You give people the impression that you’re judging them in a way. You might unintentionally side eye people a lot. You make people uncomfortable with your standoffish attitude. 

Now, this pile is divided in two sub-types : 

you are perceived exactly like what I described above : really bitchy vibes, no bullshit energy. You’re protective of your energy because you have a lot of self-respect and don’t want people to disrespect the way some did to you in the past. 

The second type, you are like this not really because of self-respect but because there is an underlying insecurity, something particularly broken inside of you. It feels almost like you put up this front of confidence and assertiveness and people usually can see right through it. If you’re faking it until making it a lot of people upon their first impressions pick up on that. 

These two sub-types can be blended too, like you could be both at the same time or perceived as both at the same time. (I don’t know if this makes sense )

People’s first impressions of you is that you are really authoritative and controlling. You probably have a really tight schedule that you don’t like to change for anyone. You look like you don’t like to compromise or work in groups. Their first impressions of you are also that you don’t really like change, you don’t like incompetency, and that you have a really good skincare routine (??random as hell lmaoo). 

People think you eat healthy boring food, like bland porridge for breakfast and a bland salad with almost no seasoning, that you snack on overtly expensive cereal and protein bars that taste like grass (people are really funny i swear this is so hyper specific)

I think their first impressions get them to make a few assumptions on you for a few minutes, but then they move on with their lives like “well i don’t know good for them” or “let them be”. People don’t want to get too carried away in the impressions they have of you and the assumptions they make from it because they don’t want to disturb your peace. Like you have an energetic protection that gives them a limited amount of time to ponder on who you might be. Like I am seeing a system almost like the one in Inside out, a little creature, a fairy or a guardian angel, coming into the person’s mind and starting the timer the moment they stare at you or interact with you for the first time with their foot tapping on the floor and their eyebrows frowned, looking over their watch each second ticking with growing impatience. People feel like they have to go through tests to be allowed to think of you deliberately. 

Pile 2, you have really protective guardian angels damn ! They tolerate no bullshit congrats!!

QUOTE : healed people hear differently

SONGS : Focus - Saweetie / Plan B - Megan thee Stallion / Here - Alessia Cara

Pile 3

King of pentacles, The Star, 7 of swords, 10 of Pentacles, Ace of Wands, 10 of Wands, 5 of Cups, Death

When I first started shuffling for your pile, High Maintenance of Saweetie started playing. Pile 3, you’re standing on business ! It was especially this lyric that stood out to me : 

“See I'ma rider but nah I ain't a die

'Cause I wouldn't take a bullet for a n***a, that's a lie”

People’s first impressions of you is that you are a workaholic with all your life figured out. You have a clear path of where your life will take you. 

People’s first impressions of you is that you’re extremely busy and productive, but, despite that, you are not a robot that does things mindlessly and repetitively. No, you are your own unique person, you have a clear and  higher vision, you seem like a complex individual with a mind of your own.

People’s first impressions of you is that you are a complex individual, with many layers. Instantly, people want to get to know you and get closer to you. They want to know your backstory, and what led you to be so passionate about everything you do today. They want to know how you seem to manage everything in your life so gracefully. 

People’s first impressions of you is that you are a deep soul that learned to make peace with the lighter side of life. You know when to let go and have fun, and when to cling onto things and be serious about things. 

People’s first impressions of you is that you’re beautiful, I am even hearing “striking”. 

People perceive your beauty as being ethereal. It’s not an instagram model type of pretty or handsome, it’s more sophisticated, it’s unique, it is just “you”. 

Maybe a lot of you are not conventionally attractive, you have a particular physical trait, something that makes you stand out instantly. It usually disturbs people a bit when they first meet you like “Oh!...”. I don’t know if you get what I am trying to say lol It is like you’re a woman with really thick and black body hair, but, instead of hiding them or shaving them, you just let them be there. You don’t really care much whether people see them or not. It could also be that you have back acne, and this does not stop you from wearing tank tops or just let them be visible. You don’t try to make a bold statement by doing this, because you’re just like “It’s natural what can I do about this ? It is what it is.” . People immediately pick up on this type of mentality from you. People want you to teach them how to do it. I am hearing “Teach me your ways master” lol . You seem really wise and you know how to not take everything personally. Really an old soul. 

Back to the physical trait thing (because I think people scrutinize your face a lot when they first meet you), you might have a roman nose, or you might look really “ethnic” or “exotic” to people. Maybe you’re a POC in a predominantly white environment, or you just look quite different from your peers.

-> Ok guys, I am picking up on something INSANE. People who would usually bully others for that physical trait you have, sense your strong self-respect and energy and are instantly subconsciously afraid to make fun of you or to try to belittle you. This is actually so fucked up what… I don’t know what is going on in this entire reading but a lot of low vibrational energies were channeled. Anyways. I feel like you grew up being the weird kid that grew into your features and personality, and now, retired high school bullies (not the one that bullied you, if it happened, just general retired high school bullies) lowkey sense they would have bullied you in the past if you were in the same class as them but now can’t do it because it’s lame and not socially acceptable for adults to do shit like that.

People are kind of scared to sit in your energy for too long when they first meet you and have their impressions about you because they feel like their energies are not high vibrational enough for them to be allowed to sit in your powerful energy for too long ?? Lol You intimidate people a lot but they don’t know why, they just feel the urge to shut the f up in your presence and just bathe in your energy silently ?? Weird 

Okay Pile 3, keep it up , never let people dim your light ! Your soul has a powerful pure essence that will  take you far in life.

QUOTE : My soul has traveled long and far to find yours

SONGS : Froot - MARINA / High Maintenance - Saweetie / Icy - ITZY

[imakestuff1987]

Longgg message for @skeletoninthemelonland below😁⬇️

Happy birthday Starbles! Today is your special day ^-^ I want to say thank you for literally every single drawing you’ve ever made, you’re one of my biggest inspirations. I wish you nothing but the best and I pray that your work, studies, and projects all go great! Relax and enjoy your birthday (◔◡◔) It feels like just yesterday that you were 15 but look at you now! You're halfway through college (I assume) 🙂‍↕️time flies so fast Oh! You've inspired me to start taking animation seriously! It's a lot harder than you made it look but I'm excited for my future careers. I'm working on my own animation project actually :-) Even though I'm not doing any original writing, designs, or audio mixing, this is a real pain in the ass! But I'm excited to finish it, and I realize how you must have felt all those years ago. It's easy to be naïve and ambitious and it's hard to follow your word, just know I don't hold any ill will against you ^_^ I actually admire you even more now! I fussed a lot over your gifts this year. I finished drawing the first iteration of your gift but then I got so mad at myself!! I had given you many drawings before that were SO much better than what I had just made. So, I painted over everything. 🤭 I'm satisfied now; I like how you can see how much I've improved since my first fanart for you But then I thought "Only two characters? Not enough" so I pushed myself EXTRA hard to add a 'lil something. An audio recording of me singing Happy Birthday…in Brazilian Portuguese 😏 (I was surprised with how different it was to Spanish 💀💀) I know it might not seem like a big deal to you; however, this took a great deal of effort because I have situational mutism! Which is a little embarrassing to admit because I'm about to be 17. Speaking of! It's so funny to me how your birthday is 4 days behind mine 😌 Anywho, thank you for everything <3

[astr0logywh0r3]

astrology observations ☽

1.) moon conjunct pluto ppl have an intense relationship with their mother. it’s either a strong hate or a strong love. the mother could’ve been extremely overbearing to the point that the native felt suffocated at times. these people are very secretive with their emotions. it’s like their emotions are inside of a dark and mysterious treasure chest that only they know the key to. the intensity runs high. explosive emotions …outbursts. could have gone to a mental health facility once in their life or been diagnosed with mental disorders.

2.) ik ppl say scorpio ascendants are supposed to be all mysterious and intimidating but honestly i see a lot of them looking very: 🌸🍄🫧

3.) scorpio mercurys are pretty quiet

4.) aquarius moons be liking the things other people hate

5.) when someone starts annoying a scorpio moon they’ll just go and talk to someone else for a while. they’re vindictive

6.) i ain’t never seen a libra sun girl i didn’t find pretty in one way or another

7.) lilith in the 10th house and scorpio mc are super hot placements for someone to have imo. it makes someone seem mysterious and cool 💀 just a lot of sex appeal

8.) so many ppl wanna be impressing scorpio suns 😭

9.) if you got a lot of planets in the 10th house or are sun dominant …you like attention. period.

10.) venus conjunct mars people are so damn magnetic. they usually have a lot of relationships and date a lot of people

11.) 9th house placements love their freedom

12.) venus in the 10th house ppl give girl next door type of beauty to me. it’s a very girly and feminine type of prettiness. people admire them and wanna date them

13.) venus in the 8th house loves the femme fatale/witchy type aesthetic for themselves

14.) saturn in the 12th house can make someone feel really lonely and sad in their life

15.) jupiter in the 1st house/conjunct the ascendant ppl seem larger than life. like ..if you see a picture of them you might think theyre tall but then you realize they’re actually pretty short 💀

16.) sun square lilith women are intimidating and reckless. they do what they want when they want with who they want. speak their mind.

17.) lilith in sagittarius can be atheists and totally reject religion

18.) capricorn risings with the perfect dry humor 💀 they look cool and act cool

19.) virgo risings either have hella big doll eyes or small squinty eyes

20.) pisces suns …y’all walk funny 😭

[chisungie]

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