#this was incredibly hard until i realized that i don't actually listen to/like all the songs in most albums lmao. i am kinda a one song on

[sunflowerliberty]

i was tagged a few weeks ago by the amazing @frenchiefacciano to list my top ten albums! thank you for tagging me <3 <3

in no particular order except maybe lungs:

lungs—florence + the machine

the basement takes—varsity

punisher—phoebe bridgers

GUTS—olivia rodrigo

three cheers for sweet revenge—my chemical romance

art of doubt—metric

no need to argue—the cranberries

wish you were here—pink floyd

solitude standing—suzanne vega

the rise and fall of ziggy stardust and the spiders from mars—bowie

tagging @write-the-stars, @farewelldorothyparker, and @greenlikethesea if you are interested!!

[butchwheels]

i think more neurodivergent people should practice saying "hey please only say yes to me infodumping to you about my favorite things when you have the emotional capacity for it, don't force yourself to or it defeats the purpose and if you hide it you'll grow resentment unnecessarily and if i ever find out i'll feel incredibly betrayed" to loved ones, even if they also are autistic/adhd/etc. it is an important boundary that is in OUR control and would radically change our sense of trust with others. we can be authentic AND build trust if we communicate effectively with other people

this can also apply to passionate ppl in general, and to their loved ones who think that making a martyr of themself so their loved one can ramble to them beyond what's comfortable makes them a better partner. it actually often does not. the only way we can learn to trust that you actually want to listen to us when we ask is when you say no sometimes too. otherwise we'll go into a guilt loop everytime, bc we don't have the data to prove that you would tell us if it was too much. i think even without neurodivergency being involved ppl are likely to martyrize themselves for their loved ones not realizing that being a martyr AT ALL will ALWAYS backfire at your loved ones. it never just affects you, and it always impedes genuine connection and trust. even i have been guilty of letting my autistic friends ramble at me until i was exhausted, and then straining beyond that bc it felt too rude to tell them, even when it was negatively affecting our emotional connection on my end. but communication is key, folks. it's a hard habit to learn but one we all must learn, and both sides need to do it

[bamfkeeper]

SFW Headcannons: Kurt and his Bamfs

a/n: Obviously I love the bamfs, and I had to do some of these with them because I adore them and I want my own army of them, damnit. Depictions heavily taken from Nightcrawler (2014) comic series. Pretty hasty, just a fun little set of headcannons. I hope you enjoy <3

The bamfs were something you hadn't anticipated, there were so many and their origin was difficult to wrap your head around. Kurt tried to explain it, but you were distracted by the curious bamfs staring at you.

They were adorable, about a dozen? Maybe more? They all were curious, they looked at you with big, round eyes. They seemed so innocent, and you couldn't help but smile.

Kurt was skeptical, they usually weren't this well behaved. You adored these little guys, and welcomed them like a horde of puppies rushing to you. They all jumped on you and made cooing noises as they played, like actual puppies. They were so playful, you didn't understand why Kurt was confused.

That was until you realized that the bamfs were as mischievous as they were playful. They were little gremlins, slightly destructive, and they tended to get into trouble like toddlers.

The bamfs don't speak, but they make an array of noises. Coos, squeaks, hisses, trills, etc. They communicate mostly through noises you come to recognize and body language.

They were a handful, they would make messes and look guilty after. You wanted to scold them, but their big round eyes looked up and that guilt got to you. You forgave them of course, Kurt sometimes says you have to be a little more firm with them or they will always guilt trip you to get away with things.

You didn't care. They practically adopted you as their mama.

There are lots of them, but you always show them equal love and affection. They are pretty needy for it, and like feeling pampered in the way that you treat them.

The bamfs get jealous easy too.

They are protective of you, just like Kurt, and they won't hesitate to keep you safe the best they can. They hiss and the fur on their backs raise a little.

Don't be fooled by their small size, they are like blue darts, they are incredibly hard to fight if they attack.

Each one has their own personality. They are all playful and a handful of troublemakers, but each one has something that makes them unique. More sensitive, more artistic, more sneaky, etc.

You love sleeping now because you have a big nest full of small blue bamfs curling up against you. They're so fuzzy and warm, you hold as many as you can to your chest while they rest pile around you.

Some bamfs stay behind when Kurt goes away just to keep you company.

You really do love taking care of them, and Kurt loves to watch you love on the bamfs. He thinks it's endearing and sweet.

He doesn't understand how you seem to get the bamfs to do what you say. They listen to him, but normally he has to say something over and over before they decide to listen. With you, it's instantaneous. You ask them to calm down, they do. You ask them to stop fighting, they do. It boggles him how they just obey you so easily.

Part of him thinks they only obey you to annoy him even further, and that might be true, but they also care a lot about you and they want nothing but to see you happy.

Also these things can EAT. They consume so much food you think their little tummies are going to explode. They have a strong liking for popcorn and sweets, to which Kurt tries to limit because hyper bamfs are extremely difficult to deal with.

However, a dozen or so begging you with their eyes is so hard to say no to.

And thus, you have a house full of bamfs bouncing off the walls.

You have a lot of fun with the bamfs, they can be a bit overwhelming from time to time, but at the end of the day when you get into bed and they all come snuggling close to you, you know it's worth it.

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

dividers by @/adornedwithlight

Cover photo from Nightcrawler #1 (2014)

[mochiimadness]

Hey! could you do 2012 tmnt how they would react if s/o is a dancer? Sorry for bothering have a good day/night!

Fearless Leader

He is so quiet when watching you dance

You’re not sure what he’s thinking exactly,

Kinda unnerves you at first

So, in the middle of a particularly tricky move, you look over to see him watching you and just ask

“Do you not like dancing or something?”

You’ve never seen him panic so fast

He’s immediately animated, frantically waving his hands in front of him

“No, no, no-! It’s not that, I was just- you’re just- your dancing is so impressive!”

Leo didn’t even realize he had been staring so hard

After years of training and fighting, he sort of just- analyzes movements, studying them.

(Which actually made him decent at dancing but he doesn’t do it often)

He’s absolutely impressed by your dance moves, he got too busy caught up in analyzing, and appreciating how you make each flow, to realize he might’ve been coming off as judgmental

After explaining, you offer to teach him a thing or two

Are there stars in his eyes??? He’s already standing next to you ready to go

Loves to learn moves from you!

Makes the cutest concentrating face- especially on harder moves

(He sticks his tongue out a little, don’t tell him though because he’ll stop!)

You two could spend hours in the dojo just practicing dance moves.

He’ll bring refreshments and snacks!

Offers to teach you ninjitsu or meditate in return <3

Mean Green Fighting Machine

Raph can definitely bust a move

He can also vogue- I don’t make the rules, he just can.

Enjoys watching you dance!

He’ll even challenge you to a dance battle

Doesn’t matter what style of dance you choose,

He’ll do his own thing while throwing in a few moves he’d seen you do.

You find out how well he actually pays attention to your practicing during these dance offs.

Raph is actually decent at mimicking moves he sees others do

Surprisingly good at ballet

And of course,

✨Hip hop✨

Loves having these friendly competitions with you.

…even if he sometimes gets butthurt at losing

Just pull him into a silly little dance and all will be well

No fancy moves, just enjoying the music

“Aw c’mon Raph, you did great!”

“Hmph, still lost >:/“

“C’mere and dance with me already!”

“Alright alright I’m coming!”

Never actually gets angry about losing

Will pout a little though

Loves to see you grin about it <3

Is so incredibly supportive and proud of his s/o!

Donnie-pedia

Donnie dances like a dork /pos

He can either do the robot or some really awkward dance movements

It doesn’t bother him much-

Or at least it didn’t until he met you

Donnie loves watching you dance

You make it look so easy!

Gets a nervous if you ask him to dance-

Literally spends hours watching tutorials trying to learn how to dance better

He wants to be able to dance with you properly!!

Absolutely swoons if you offer to teach him

He picks up a few moves but still is pretty awkward overall

Once you tell him that you don’t mind,

He adores to dance with you

He genuinely enjoys just watching you dance too!

Finds it ✨fascinating✨

Gets you a good bag to store your dance stuff in- like your shoes and clothes

Decorates it with little dance charms and pins

And a purple turtle ofc

He also builds you a small music box with your favorite music!

That way you can listen and dance to it whenever!

"I uh made you this portable music box with your favorite tunes! You can listen to it wherever, whenever- if you want too of course. If not it's totally fine and-"

"Woah! This is great, D, thanks!!"

"Really?? :D"

You can practically see his tail wagging (it is actually)

Dr. Prankenstein

One word-

✨Hyped✨

Is your number one hype turtle

Always excited to see you dance!

Especially if you do any hip-hop/break dancing

If you do, he 100% joins in

Mikey is an awesome break dancer!

You'll always have a good time dancing with him.

If you don't do any hip-hop/break dancing-

He still loves to watch and join in when he can

Very good at following the flow of the beat

Can dabble in pretty much any dance style,

He's the fastest at being able to pick up on new styles/moves

After a few moments of watching you,

He's able to replicate the move you're doing!

Ofc it's not perfect (most of the time anyway)

But it's still pretty impressive.

Loves to just dance with you.

If you preform you better believe he finds a way to watch

Doesn't matter if the place is crowded and it's in the middle of the day,

Mikey always finds a way to come out and support you

(you may or may not have nearly screamed after seeing him pop out of the ceiling rafters but shhh)

If you ever need someone to give you feedback too,

Mikey's your turtle!

"S/o!! I saw your dance today, it was awesome!"

"How did you even-?"

"Oh, I found a crawl space under the floor and propped it open a bit, no biggie :D"

":O"

This, and many others, have been sitting in my ask box for over a year now.

I hope you enjoyed it, I apologize for the wait. Have a good day/night!

[irisintheafterglow]

head empty no thoughts just rengoku x ice hashira!reader

you joined the hashira ranks shortly after he did in your late teens

you were incredibly put off by him at first as his unrelenting enthusiasm made you uneasy

you thought it was hard to read him because of how jovial he seemed all the time

but after getting to know him, you realized that there's no reading him at all; he states very plainly how he feels whenever he feels it

he also asks you how you're feeling directly and will call you out if he believes you to be lying

"hello! how are you doing today?!"

"i'm fine, how about yourself?"

"you do not seem fine! as you have not eaten today and sustenance is essential for survival!"

"it just slipped my mind, i'm okay. really-"

"i will fetch you something to eat! do not move!"

"kyojuro-"

"I SAID DO NOT MOVE!"

he fixates on getting to know you better after you're assigned to a joint mission and is fascinated by your frost breathing technique

he admires that when you're fighting, nothing else matters to you but curbstomping your opponent (not the correct language but you get what i mean)

the mission goes smoothly despite never working with him before and you find yourself a little frustrated how you naturally gravitate to him in every single room you share

it's just instinctual to be by his side, and you notice the same sentiment in his body language too

during meetings he's always next to you, even if you two don't speak

you're a little cold guarded around him but he doesn't give up and you gradually let down your walls as you work with him on more missions

he's actually really fucking funny because of how straightforward his words are

"is that man bothering you?!"

"he was just looking at me funny, let's just keep moving-"

"i will not hesitate to verbally reprimand him for disrespecting you if that is what you wish!"

"kyojuro-"

"I CAN ALSO PHYSICALLY BEAT HIM TO A PULP!"

as you start warming up to him and opening up about yourself, you find he's an incredibly good listener as much as he likes to talk

you share about your family and your techniques and your dreams for the future

being a hashira is a taxing line of work but he's stable, probably the only stable thing you have at this point

when you come back late at night from a particularly tough mission, he's waiting for you in the butterfly mansion

upon your return and taking in your exhausted body language, he softens his voice and asks to pick you up to bring you to your room

you oblige, too tired to question him, and his arms catch your knees when they give out, supporting your back while you slump into him

he gently cradles you into his chest and your head falls on his shoulder

he's warm like a fireplace in the dead of winter and smells like smoke and citrus

when he lays you on your bedroll you shiver at the sudden chill after you overwork your technique and quietly ask him to stay with you until you drift off

he stays with you until HE drifts off, baby

you wake up later in the day with your head under his chin and his arms protectively wrapped around your body

you just look at him sleep so peacefully it's the first good night of sleep he's had in months

his hair's a fucking mess all over your pillows and he's hogging the blankets but you don't mind since he's literally a furnace

when his eyes flutter open, his voice is raspy and low

"good morning, love. did you sleep alright?"

so yeah

he cares about you a lot right

and would do anything for you if you only asked

but here's the final nail in the love-struck coffin, okay?

so you're on a mission together and he's working his technique to the absolute bone

you've hit a wall with your ability and he stepped up to defend you against your wishes for him to retreat

he's dangerously close to surpassing the limit of his limits and after the demon's head is rolling across the floor, he falls to his knees

his temperature is fatally high and any longer at this temperature, his blood would boil and burst

you're there to catch him and activate one of your forms, using the frigid air generated by your breathing to cool his sweltering skin

your hands are steaming against his cheeks but all he could see is you and he never stops smiling, constantly reassuring you that you both were going to be okay

once his temperature lowers to a safe number you kiss him for the first time

or maybe he kisses you, you can't really tell who initiated it because you both leaned in at the same time

whatever, you kiss each other

afterward he gives you a fiery red promise band and you give him an ice blue one

while you're together, he says i love you about 10 times per minute and means it every single time

the man's love language is LITERALLY words of affirmation can you blame him

missions together after you become official are filled with non-stop praise

"that attack was incredible, darling!"

"you're doing great, my love. just keep fighting."

"have i already told you how much i adore you? no? well i do!"

and sometimes he's less...composed....like

"YOU ARE VERY ATTRACTIVE WHEN YOU ARE KICKING ASS!"

when you're apart, the only thing on his mind while he's fighting is you

and it always will be you, in this life and every life afterward

hahahaha don't you love at the end of mugen train when rengoku just takes a long NAP at the BUTTERFLY MANSION and he's SAFE and everything is FINE

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[mustainegf]

‘86 james taking your virginity but its sweet morning sex :(

OKAY I KNOW THIS REQ IS SO OLD AND IVE REWRITTEN IT SO MANY TIMES, I FINALLY THINK I COOKED UP SOMETHING REALISTIC AND EQUALLY YUMMY!!!!

𝐈 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ¹⁹⁸⁶

I gently woke to his heartbeat in my ear, firm hands safely holding my waist to his body. I hum tiredly with a smile, scooting closer to James' warmth.

It felt too good, me all tangled up in his arms like this. And here I thought that would never happen.

So instead of moving, I just lay there staring at the ceiling, smiling.

"Mmph... baby.." James grumbled, shifting slowly beneath me, our bodies still clinging together.

He tucked one arm around my back as he brought his other hand over top of me, which he rested against my forehead for a second.

"Good morning, sleepy head." His voice was a little bit rough. My smile widened. "I love you," I whispered. I couldn't help it. I had to tell him. "I love you so much." He made a soft sound in his throat.

I exhaled happily, slowly kissing his neck. I always loved laying with him like this in the morning.

Then, without warning, something poked into my inner thigh. I froze. But it wasn't painful. It was... warm? I frowned, unsure what to think or do. And then suddenly, it came to me. Of course.

Because it couldn't be anything else, right? I took a deep breath and said through my teeth, "James?" His response was more of a grunt. I swallowed and continued, "You're hard." This time, he actually did chuckle.

"And your point is?" he asked, sounding amused. I paused, trying not to laugh myself, but realizing the predicament we were in. We weren't naked; but we also weren't exactly fully clothed either. And I could feel a lot through just the fabric of his briefs.

Which meant I knew exactly how hard he was.

That didn't make me uncomfortable though. In fact, I loved the feeling of his hardness pressed against me. God, it was so hot, thinking about us doing things like this.

So the only thing I could really say was, "I'm getting harder too." I heard a slight pause before he spoke again, his voice deeper than usual now. "Are you?" I teased, a blush creeping up my face.

I smirked, knowing full well that he was already listening to every word I was saying. He huffed.

"You know damn well I am," he said. My cheeks flushed, my smile widening even more.

I reached down between my legs and found the tip of his cock, tracing a line along its length. I let out a satisfied sigh. "Mmm..." James let out another low growl. "Baby, I thought you weren't ready?"

he asked. "It's fine." I mumbled, shyly blushing. "I mean, I am." There was a long moment where neither of us moved or spoke. A mix of nervousness and anticipation settled inside of me.

"What if I don't want to wait anymore?" I asked quietly. This time he didn't respond at all. I stayed completely silent, waiting, hoping. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, James pulled away from me.

The chill in the air stung as he leaned forward and took my chin in his hand. His eyes searched mine, almost pleading. "How sure are you?" he asked softly. "I can wait until you're 100 certain."

His gaze softened as I watched him speak. "But if you don't wanna-" My lips parted as I quickly interrupted him. "No! I want to." I was practically begging, trying to communicate how bad I needed him.

All the uncertainty I'd been feeling about this decision melted away. I wanted this, I needed this. With him. Now. Not tomorrow, not next week. Now.

Right now. "Please..." I whispered, letting go of his hand. James nodded, finally understanding. He lifted himself off the bed and reached down, pulling off his boxers.

His cock sprang free and bounced a little with the movement. I stared at him, fixated. He looked incredible.

The tip glistened slightly with precum, perfectly poised and ready for whatever happened next. My eyes trailed down his toned body. Yeah sure, I'd seen him naked before, we'd been dating for a few months now, but this is the first time we'd actually be having sex. Or me at least.

James grabbed a condom from his drawer and rolled it onto his erection. When he finished, he turned back toward me. "Come on," he urged, reaching out for me.

I nodded and sat up, reaching down under my shirt to pull off my panties. James watched intently as I removed them. Once done, I laid back down on the bed, spreading my legs open wide.

His view drove him crazy, immediately dipping down to gently kiss my clit. "Mh!" I whined, not expecting the sudden feeling.

He chuckled. "That ok, baby?"

"Y-yeah, it's good. Just keep going," I moaned. He grinned against my skin and kissed me again. "Whatever you say."

I shivered at the sensation. This felt better than I ever imagined it would. I squeezed my thighs together around his head and he groaned, clearly enjoying my reaction.

"Oh yeah, that's perfect." he hummed, sending delicious vibrations across my entire pelvic area. I whimpered at the intensity of the pleasure he gave me. "Good girl..." he praised me. "So fucking wet."

I moaned, loving the compliment. The way his tongue slid over my pussy made me squirm uncontrollably. Everything felt so amazing.

His mouth was everywhere, licking and sucking. I held tight to the sheets below me, unable to hold myself still anymore. I had never felt this good.

After a while, he stopped eating me out and moved up higher. His mouth hovered above my earlobe, and he started kissing me there. Each kiss sent shocks straight down into my core. I bit my lip as he continued, desperately trying to remain quiet. It was no use though.

"It's okay baby, don't feel bad about those pretty little noises," he hummed, kissing down my collarbone.

Oh god, it felt so good. My body tensed with excitement as he continued kissing me lower, working his way towards my tits. When his mouth finally closed around one of my nipples, I couldn't help but arch my back.

He only sucked for a short while before pulling back, his mouth making a wet popping noise against my nipple. I felt a little nervous as he slowly began to position himself between my legs.

"Ready?" he asked, staring deep into my eyes. I smiled and nodded. He placed his hands on either side of me, leaning in to give me a quick kiss.

His hips pressed forward slightly, nudging the tip of his dick against my entrance. I tensed up. "Just relax, sweetie. Take a deep breath." His words were soft, gentle.

As I did exactly what he said, he pushed forward slowly. I gasped when I felt the pressure of him stretching me open. The slow progress was agonizingly pleasurable.

It wasn't long before I could feel his length fully inserted inside of me. James let out a low groan, holding himself still for a moment. "Are you okay? We can stop if you need too." I shook my head.

"Just... just give me a second..." I whimper. James took my cheeks in his hands, caressing my skin with his thumbs to comfort me, doing his best not to move whilst seated inside me.

I felt him throbbing gently within me, the sensation causing my own arousal to spike. A tremor ran through me as I instinctively tightened my inner muscles.

"Oh fuck... shit." I heard James whisper as he clenched his teeth, fighting hard to stay put. I knew how much effort it took for him and I loved him all the more for it.

"Sorry.." I giggle, knowing my clenching must have him going insane. "You can go now, just... be gentle."

He grunted in response, seeming to understand the task ahead. Carefully, he withdrew until just the tip remained. Then, he pressed back inwards, causing me to release another small moan.

He repeated this process several times, each time sliding further inside until he reached bottom.

With every thrust, I wriggled my hips underneath him. Soon enough, he found a steady rhythm.

Up and down he went, filling me over and over again. The sound of our bodies meeting was exhilarating. James leaned forward, placing his palms flat on the bed on either side of me.

Our foreheads touched and he looked me right in the eye. "How does that feel?" I couldn't speak, words failing me at this point.

Instead, I simply nodded frantically, completely overwhelmed by everything happening at once. He grinned proudly. "Good." The speed increased as his thrusts became harder. "I'm so proud of you... doin' so good."

I whimpered and arched my back. James kept pumping slowly into me, pushing me into the mattress with every stroke. My breasts bounced gently with the pace.

"Keep going baby, keep being a good girl," he panted into my ear. "Are you good to keep going? Need a break?" He asked gently, sweat trickling down his forehead as he continued with gentle pumps.

"I-it's okay... please don't stop..." I whimper, taking one of his hands in mine, clutching it tight.

"Gonna—fuck—make me cum..." James groaned, his head falling into the crook of my neck, focusing what was left of his energy.

I felt him pulsing inside me, sending jolts of pleasure throughout my whole body. I lay there beneath him, completely spent. Even after he pulled out, I still felt full.

My pussy throbbed, demanding more. "That was amazing," he whispered, wiping some hair from my face with a loving touch.

James groaned and reached down to slip the full condom off of his pulsing length. He quickly tossed it in the trash before turning back to me with a smile. However, my fingers are still working at my clit.

"What are you doing, can't help yourself, huh..." He mumbled sleepily. I blush. "I haven't cum yet..." I whine.

"Baby, you should a said something," he chuckled, dipping back down between my legs again. "Let me help."

He wasted no time in finding my clit, circling around the sensitive nub as my fingertips slipped from my body.

I spread myself wide for him, keeping my eyes shut tight as his tongue swirled around my swollen bud.

His lips wrapped around the fleshy hood and he sucked firmly. Instantly, a wave of pleasure washed over me.

My knees bent and I threw an arm over my face, stifling a scream. He started to suck even firmer, using both hands to pull the flesh taught, driving me wild.

"Fuck James! Stop, I-I'm gonna cum!" I yelp desperately, grinding my crotch against his face.

James made a loud, satisfied 'humph' noise into my soaking cunt. It sent shivers down my spine.

One last flick of his skilled tongue across my clit and I collapsed back onto the bed. I laid there, quivering and panting like a dog, staring up at the ceiling.

I hear James chuckle and get up from between my legs, pulling me up by my waist. We end up in a sloppy pile of limbs in the bed, kissing slowly.

James finally breaks away from me and sits up, patting my leg. "Come here..." I shuffle up the bed and crawl over, wrapping my arms around him.

James embraces me tightly. So here we lay, naked, breathing slow, tangled and sweaty. I took in a deep breath of his smell, kissing his cheek gently. "Thank you, Jamie..."

"Was it good? Hope I could satisfy my girl," he smiled, scoffing teasingly.

[dent-de-leon]

I could be wrong, but--just thinking about how the twins assumed it was obvious Mollymauk was heading to a brothel. How he clearly knows that, lets them believe that--"I know what the others think, but..." And all this time when he sneaks out in the dead of night, he's really playing the hero, running off to protect someone in need.

And just, I don't know. I think about how Mollymauk was so devoted to Lestera, and we never see him actually indulge in a relationship with anyone else in the comic. How he's still so lonely, and tells Yasha so in a moment of vulnerability--when she catches him in the midst of Choir Practice, this side of him he doesn't let anyone else see. He admits to her that, "The world is harsh and cruel, and I don't seem to be able to just walk on by. You see a wrong? You fix it."

And then when Yasha says she'll stay with him, help him, that's when Molly lets a bit more of his true feelings bleed through. "Suppose I could use the company. I am recently out of a relationship the hard way..." He lets it play off like a joke, but it's incredibly sad and personal. I've lost someone too, he says. I'm lonely too. He doesn't quite know what Yasha's been through, but he can feel the kind of grief and pain she carries. Knows enough to know she's also been dealt a harsh loss, that they both know what it means to feel Empty and lonely.

Thinking about. Molly being a tease and a flirt, but never seeming to commit. Jester listening in on his antics in the Pillow Trove, and Taliesin saying, "It's mostly ridiculous conversation through this whole thing."

Thinking about Caleb and Fjord watching Molly flirt in Hupperdook, both of them assuming he'll run off to have some fun for the night.

Travis: "I turn to Caleb and go, 'I think I may be regretting my roommate choice for the night. It's just a hunch. I think he's in his element.'"

Liam: "Well, the odds are that you're not even going to see him in your room tonight, so I wouldn't worry about it so much."

Travis: "You think? He'll just like, tear off into the night and not come back until the sun comes up?"

Liam: "He's like a coyote. You know what that is?...Yeah, they like to fuck a lot, is my point--"

And they're being ridiculous and half joking, and Molly happily encourages it, but--it still feels like how Mollymauk lets the twins make assumptions. Like the most he does is a bit of playful teasing and some charming words. At the end of the night, he's still back in his room with Fjord--carrying Fjord to their room, because the poor guy's passed out drunk.

Thinking about how Lucien's personality was another facet of Molly's, how they can both be so silver-tongued and disarmingly charming. How Lucien cared for his late lover so much, and how he never found another partner. (He still flirts with Caleb though. Molly's still a part of him, so of course he does. But that is something Lucien also tries to keep his distance from, to keep fun and teasing. Trying so hard not to think about how the forehead kiss Molly gave his wizard feels far too much like his own goodbye to his fallen partner--)

And Mollymauk absolutely having those feelings for his magician. Those feelings ever enduring, even after Lucien, even after another death and rebirth. "Oh, you're cute, Magic Man--" And even then, Molly never actually gets to take that chance. To tell Caleb how he feels. It means something, I think, that he becomes bolder and more forward with his wizard when he wakes as Kingsley. No longer carrying his past lives' loss and grief and painful memories.

I think that's where Molly was always headed, honestly. There's so many parallels to how both Molly and Yasha lost their partner before the campaign, how they each try to cope with that in their own way. And, like how Yasha eventually opened up to Beau, eventually healed to the point where she was willing to start another relationship--I think Molly was gradually warming to that point with Caleb.

Realizing there was someone else he wanted to let into his heart, that he could find happiness again and it would be what Lestera would have wanted. It also seems like Molly was holding himself back from that a bit because he felt Caleb wasn't ready; still so withdrawn and closed off, not yet ready for the pain and vulnerability of another relationship. But, he wants to wait. For Caleb, he's willing to wait. For lifetime after lifetime. And that to me is the proof that Lestera and Caleb were Molly's only true loves, I think. Aside from dear Yasha, of course--his kindred spirit, platonic soulmate--

But romantically, I don't think he ever gave his whole heart to anyone the way he did for them. It speaks volumes to me, that when King wakes with little to no memories, it's still Lestera and Caleb his heart longs for. When he dreams of the circus, he immediately starts asking about her, over and over, "There was a--oh. There was a circus. And a...a beautiful woman, in a red coat. She was telling me secrets, showing me how to keep secrets. Show secrets--I...Where's the woman? No, not her...where's the woman--"

Thinking about how Kingsley still woke with feelings for Caleb too. Immediately told him he was cute, started biting his lip. Can't help flirting even in their last scene together, "Magic Man. Looking good." How Caleb was someone Molly ached for even when Lucien had his soul caged and tormented, "Caleb. Softness and light."

Like, I could be wrong, but. I don't know. I just don't think Molly had quite as much relationship experience that everyone imagined. And instead of having a string of lovers, it feels more like he just liked to give the illusion of it. A romantic who loved with his whole heart, and only really gave it to a close few--

[alornights]

⟢ gossip session.

➜ in which ! kyle finds himself interested in your gossip.

💌 ﹫kyle broflovski.

✩ 🎸 warnings﹗gossip about teacher/student affair.

🍓 ⟡ notes — i love gossiping lmao. i also realized ive been spelling his last name wrong for like ages until now lmao.

he loves it, no matter how hard he tries denying it, he love it.

at first, he didn't care for it, actually, he found it annoying. he never liked people talking about others behind their backs.

especially if they are personal matters.

so when you two are just in his room casually hanging out and your face-timing your friend talking about the latest school gossip he made sure to tune it out opting to listen to music.

until he one day overheard you gossiping because he forgot his headphones. then he starts paying attention and listening more carefully getting very interested in the story.

he can't help himself now from listening to your rambles.

"No, you don't understand Heather. PC Principal has no fucking clue about this which is surprising since he knows everything that goes on in this school. But like, how does he not know that a teacher is banging the head cheerleader of the school but fucking Butters of all people knows?"

"Yeah no, I have no idea how long it's been going on."

"I heard she might even be pregnant with the teacher's kid. Yeah, uh huh, no way- HE HAS 3 SEPARATE FAMILIES?"

kyle tries so hard not to ask because he knows it's not the right thing to do but in the end, he can't help himself.

he starts listening every chance he gets. trying to put pieces together if he hadn't heard the other parts of the story.

it gets so bad that he starts listening

hell, he even listens to some of cartman's gossip.

finally he admits he is gossip addict and decides to talk to you.

As you walked back into his room after having a quick call with one of your friends about the recent gossip that just surfaced.

Kyle sighed mentally bracing himself for what he was about to say.

"What happened next? With the teacher-student thing I mean..."

You stare at him incredibly, tilting your head in confusion. "Huh? I thought you hated gossip since you know it's people not minding their own business or whatever."

The teen grumbled a bit before turning away. "Maybe I've had a change of heart."

and when he means "change of heart"

he actually means he's so invested that its like an addiction.

the guy becomes a crazed gossip girl kicking his feet giggling.

Words couldn't describe the look of happiness on your face as you raced over to his bed slamming your body on top of him in giddiness. "Okay listen closely. So right now, 2 of the 3 families have found out about this situation and are all divorcing him."

"Actually?" He questioned sitting up, shifting you in his arms so you were both comfortable. "How the hell did he find out? Didn't you say that they all lived far away or something?"

You nodded. "They do but someone from our school who shall be unnamed, leaked it to them with photos of the teacher and student, well, getting the groove on after school in his class."

"No. Fucking. Way."

"Yes, way!" You clapped your hands with a smirk. "That's all for now since this just happened like 2 hours ago."

A beat of silence passes by until he looks back at you staring you dead in the eye. "You'll keep me updated... right?"

You laugh nodding your head excitedly. "You'll be the first to know."

[mgc02]

Sleeping Together

Platonic!Lucifer x fennec fox Reader, slight platonic! Angel Dust x reader at the end. Let me know If you want part 2 I have some cool ideas for more

Cw: awkward situations ig, I'm aroace so I like unconventional platonic relationships, some swearing and suggestiveness from Angel

Being a small fennec fox demon wasn't easy. You were known for your small size and cuteness. So you were often seen as easy prey. But you also were so cute and incredibly soft that many couldn't resist touching you. You were used to it to some degree. But for some reason you still didn't see this coming.

It was the middle of the night and you had snuck out of your room and crept through the hotel to grab yourself a midnight snack. You were startled by the sound of someone entering the kitchen and discovered it was Lucifer (looking incredibly sleep deprived). You apologized immediately. "Oh sorry I was just grabbing a snack" you explained. "Sometimes I get cravings at night. I woke up a couple times tonight and couldn't get food off my mind maybe cause-" you stopped after realizing that not only was Lucifer not listening but he was staring at you like he was in a sleepy trance.

Not quite aware of what he was doing he kneeled down a bit and reached his hand towards you. He began petting you on the head and behind the ears. You at first were frozen unable to think of what to do before you melted at the touch of being petted. It was a weakness of yours. Before you knew it he had you in his arms carrying you off while scratching behind your ear. He took you into his room and petted you on his bed. He could not stop yawning. You were too comfortable to question what was going on and Lucifer was too tired and distracted to realize what he was doing

You woke up cozily tucked into Lucifer's arms before memories came flooding back and you tried to wiggle free. Lucifer woke up with a moan and noticed his hold on you before releasing you in a panic. "OHHHhhh. My gosh! I'm so sorry... this is-this is weird. I've never done this before" he was extremely apologetic and embarrassed. You calmed yourself and even though it was awkward quickly realized he was being genuine. "It's alright. Let's-let's just try and pretend this never happened" you said trying to make it less awkward. "Yes. Well um... yeah that's probably for the best"

Though you guys acted weird around each other all day it seemed like it was gonna stay in the past. That is until you got a knock at your door at 3 am. You opened it to see Lucifer with bags under his eyes with a nervous expression. "Hi, I hope I didn't wake you..." Lucifer began cautiously. "Whats going on?" You asked. "Look, i know we said we'd pretend like it never happened but I actually have never slept that good in my life. I... I don't sleep the greatest. Especially not since Lilith left. I tried really hard to put it outta mind tonight but I couldn't help it. I was wondering if... if..." He fumbled and turned red with embarrassment and you of course caught on to what he was trying to ask

"A sleepover every now and then couldn't hurt" you agreed careful with your wording as to not make either of you more uncomfortable. "But, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. No hanky panky, no dinner dates" you spoke clearly and strictly. "Wouldn't dream of it. Sooo... platonic?" He responded. "Platonic" you confirmed.

"Also, let's keep this between you and me" you stated. You didn't want people at the hotel (Angel) cracking jokes and you didn't want them to get the wrong idea either. It was something better kept private you thought. Lucifer nodded "of course"

That night led to many others. You and Lucifer spent so many nights together that you started to develop a strong bond. It was an odd relationship but you were grateful for it. That was until one glorious morning you awoke bright and early (as you usually did to avoid suspicion) and you crept out of Lucifer's room so you could head back to your own but as you closed Lucifer's door behind you heard a certain someone catch you in act.

"Wow, never thought you and the big dick in charge would be a thing" Angel grinned as you sighed and turned around to face him. "So how long you two been getting frisky? Man the broads are gonna flip" you wanted to slap him but unfortunately you couldn't reach. "It's not like that" you tried to explain. "Oh please, you sneaking out of his room early in the morning in your jammies? You think I'm fuckinh dense?" He questioned and you let out a heavy sigh realizing you had to tell him the truth or things would get very awkward soon.

You relayed the whole thing onto him. You hoped he would believe you. You knew this was definitely unconventional so you weren't sure. Finally you finished telling him what was going on and how it happened. "Soo... you guys just been sleeping together bit ACTUALLY sleeping?" He sounded surprised but it seemed like he believe you. "Yes" you answered with relief. "...All because you're like... this magical cure for insomnia?" He sounded a bit off when he asked that and you weren't sure why. "Yeah I guess... I don't know..."

"Can I give it a try?"

[diazisms]

Please with a cherry on top 🍒💕 tell us all about your little aus you have for bucktommy.

Especially the season 1 divergence 💛

surely i will!!!! this got very long btw so i'm putting it under a read more but the aus i mentioned in the tags of this post are

model au

college au

neighbor au

canon divergence s1 meeting

okay here you go:

model au: this is the one that sparked that entire post bc i saw those two photos and went "wait....." anyway. buck and tommy meet on a shoot and buck is immediately reduced to a giggly, blushing mess. he's new to the modelling industry but so ridiculously pretty he's already getting booked left and right. tommy's been in the game for a while, and he's so comfortable in his skin in front of the camera that it has buck watching him in awe. a bts video of a shoot they did together blows up on twitter, people talking about their chemistry, how hot they are together, and it gets people talking. buck is terribly, terribly embarrassed, worried tommy's gonna realize buck's got a huge crush on him, but then tommy doesn't mind at all, and is actually really, really on board with buck's feelings if the hickeys the makeup department have to cover the next time he's in front of a camera are anything to go by

(also, buck discovering he loves being behind the camera and getting every candid of his boyfriend possible. the professional, smoldering, glamour shots are nice, yeah, but the one of tommy smiling when he realizes buck's been taking pictures of him? those are his favorites.)

college au: listen, i know hs/college au's aren't for everyone but i love them. the frat parties, the "we kissed the day before christmas break and now i don't know how you feel because we're not talking and i can't just show up at your dorm" angst, their friends pestering them about the obvious feelings they have for each other. come on!!! buck and tommy are both freshman though tommy's a bit older because he took some time between high school and college to get a job so he could pay for his school. buck thinks tommy doesn't like him very much but tommy's kind of in love with the guy, but the way he shows his affection and his teasing attempts at flirting are clearly not getting the message across. so he kisses him in the front lawn of a frat house during a party because obviously they're in frats and buck doesn't get it, thinks tommy's doing it because he found out buck likes him and is making fun of him, and tommy doesn't even let him finish angrily confessing his feelings before he's tackling him onto the lawn and kissing him stupid.

neighbor au: they both work odd hours. tommy's still a firefighter but buck's a nurse and they've seen each other a few times on the job, enough that buck's coworkers always let him know when the hot firefighter came by, but they have no idea they're neighbors because their hours just never. line. up. until one day buck's sick to the point not even he can justify going to work and tommy's got his day off and they run into each other in the hallway of their apartment complex when buck goes out to get his door dash. he is immediately horrendously embarrassed because ohmygod the hot firefighter knows what i look like in spongebob pajama pants. tommy doesn't mind though, clearly, because a few hours later he's knocking on buck's door and handing over a tupperware of homemade cookies. tommy doesn't stick around very long because buck is clearly super tired, but when buck opens the lid there's a note with tommy's number and a 'next time we have off on the same day, you wanna grab coffee?' the smiley face is lopsided and uneven but it makes the biggest grin appear on buck's face

(also, they have dogs in the selfies i used in that post and i like to think their dogs are also dating thanks)

canon divergence: oh man i LOVE canon divergence in general, but s1 bucktommy would go so hard. like au where tommy doesn't leave the 118 so he's there for buck's probie year? incredible. tommy, for starters, wouldn't be able to stand buck 1.0 and buck, like the oblivious bisexual he is, wouldn't understand why he cares so much. slowly, buck starts trying to get his attention. talking to him, getting to know him. tommy's still in the closet and trying to keep from losing his mind because the pretty playboy who sleeps around is suddenly no longer hooking up with women in favor of trying to get to know him. tommy knows he should tell buck to stop because there's no way this won't end with his heart broken (who hasn't fallen for a straight person and cried to sad ballads about it? queer culture), but buck is actually sweet and he's not funny because his jokes are terrible but he makes him laugh and tommy's determined to introduce him to all the best, classic romcoms (the man's favorite movie is love, actually, c'mon). the more time they spend together the less buck goes out, and after a long shift, sitting on the floor of tommy's living room eating pizza, when tommy starts leaning in, buck doesn't think twice before closing the distance. tommy pulls back, asks if he's sure, if this is okay, and buck, who hasn't had sex since he realized he wanted tommy in a big, bad, really really gay way, kisses him breathless.

tommy doesn't want to pressure buck, doesn't want to move too fast because he really, really likes him. buck is annoyingly charmed by it because he's never had a meaningful relationship and as weird as it is to want that with a guy he really does want it with tommy (but he also obviously takes it as a challenge to see how far he can push his boyfriend's buttons before he bends him over the back of the couch).

okay yeah these are my bucktommy au ideas i love them very bad thanks mwah!!!

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I feel like this conversation is a bit played out, but I’m curious: do you think JK’s banking on winning a Grammy and potentially getting out of his military service? I’ve tried to take their words for what they are and I know everyone’s said that they’re all going to the military, will be back in 2025, yadda yadda, whatever. I can’t understand why, if that’s the case, they’re banking so much on his solo career if he’s just going to disappear from the scene (physically) for almost 2 years. Do you get what I mean?

My thoughts are that they are actually hoping for a Grammy and subsequent deferment of mandatory service, but then again, nobody knows so I guess we’ll have to wait and see how it all plays out.

As this is only speculation and might as well not happen, let me bring my own contribution. I don't think this is about Jungkook and I'll explain why.

If you look at this entire issue from the perspective of the artist/idol, you'll realize soon that you're stuck, that you can't explain why he's doing this or that. But looking at it as a business deal will shine another light on it.

Yes, Jungkook is leaving to do his military service soon and everything he said up until now points to that so why are they investing so much into making him a "global pop star"? Because Hybe and Hybe America need to show that they can do that. That their strategy is one that works for future business. Why do you think they tried it first on the most versatile of the BTS members, the one that can do any song because he has the voice needed for that? This wouldn't have worked with Taehyung or Jimin. God, I'm so happy it didn't work with Jimin because it would have been horrible to see all that unfoulding. Besides, they had projects on their own and without making any contribution to the song writing, Tae's album was still something that matched his personality, it was him with the help of MHJ.

With Jungkook, the situation is different. I wouldn't know the details, but when they announced their hiatus, it looked like everyone was set on releasing an album, including JK. And then, most likely, life happened. Because you can't plan your state of mind. And when you're under a contract, you do need to listen to other people. I know army always uses the shares in Hybe argument, but the value allocated for the members is insignificant on a larger scale. Yes, they are rich and they can do what they want and sleep on a wlive, but I don't think for one second the company would have let Jungkook do nothing and be a couch potato.

So they found this opportunity. You also have to keep in mind that Hybe paid a lot of money for Scooter's company and then what happened to him? Most of his artists left? So where is this big opportunity for collaboration and projects and all that?

This is just business. That's it. They chose the idol capable of being a blank slate and stuck the concept of global pop star on him. Because that's what it is which is incredibly funny (not). Usually that accolade comes after some time, when the results can be seen over a prolonged period of time, but in this case, that was the starting point. As much as Bang wants to get rid of the k in kpop, they're still using a kpop strategy, that of making an album based on a concept or creating a specific image for an idol.

And now they are pushing it hard. They are investing a ton of money into this in a way that makes them look desperate and I think that in the industry at large, people see it. Not the fans because they either choose to turn a blind eye or their mind doesn't go that far. There are voices which have said a thing or two lately among army, but it's an insignificant minority. The company can rely on the fandom to buy all those 284836521 versions and remixes and they will eat it up. And voila, look at how Hybe produced a global pop star in less than half a year. Quick, open the catalog for some songs that sound mediocre enough for a top 40, make the singer record them asap, fast, done in less than one week. Quickly come up with some generic argument of how this is just to show the artist's vocal range (good job PR for that one, jesus) and then also openly admit that it was made for a Western market, aka US cause the world stops there.

Jungkook had the possibility to show more personality of his own when he was with a group of six other people than with his solo album, which is so ironic. But that is because it is not his album. He's merely a vessel through which Bang and Scooter can show investors that they can invent a global pop star and fast while their pockets grow bigger and bigger.

[cnnmairoll]

hello Mai!!! i hope you're having a lovely day <3

i was wondering if i could humbly request a Blade x reader, where the reader is having a hard time due to challenging life circumstances and is incredibly stressed because of it, but is constantly putting on a brave face for Blade? i imagine he probably has an idea that something is amiss with the reader, but is too reserved to actually approach them about it until they finally break down when everything becomes too much </3

take your time with this!! i can't wait to see what you produce!! <3

Bearing the Burden

Pairing : Blade x Reader Genre : Hurt/Comfort a/n : Sure thing Eli! Glad to see you back on tumblr, hopefully this met your expectations since I don't really know how to write blade (；´∀｀) Hope you're doing okay btw !!

You never thought you'd find solace in the most unlikely place - the heart of Blade, the enigmatic and emotionally repressed warrior. Life had thrown its worst at you, and you were drowning in a sea of troubles. But in Blade's presence, you found a sanctuary from the storm, even though you couldn't put a name to what was brewing beneath the surface.

Your days were a blur of trials and tribulations. Every morning, you'd summon a smile that masked the turmoil within. You didn't want Blade to worry; he already carried a heavy burden.

One day, while you both trained together, Blade's intense gaze caught you off guard. He stopped mid-swing, his sword poised in the air, and said, "You seem different lately, more distant. Is everything alright?"

You hesitated, unable to meet his eyes. "I'm fine, Blade. Just a little tired, that's all."

He nodded, but the concern in his eyes lingered.

As days turned into weeks, the weight of your secrets grew heavier. You continued to endure, never letting your façade slip. Blade's subtle attempts to reach out went unnoticed or unacknowledged, and the walls around your heart thickened.

After another grueling training session, you found yourself patching up Blade's wounds. Your hands worked with skill and care, a testament to your dedication. But the silence weighed heavy on both of you.

Finally, Blade broke it. "You've been awfully quiet lately."

You couldn't avoid the question this time. "It's just…life has been throwing a lot at me, Blade. It's hard to keep up sometimes."

Blade turned his gaze toward you, his eyes probing but kind. "You don't have to bear it all alone, you know."

You looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time in weeks. "I didn't want to burden you with my problems. You've got enough on your plate."

A rare smile tugged at the corners of Blade's lips. "We all have our demons, even me. Sharing the load makes it lighter."

In the following days, Blade continued to offer his support, even if it was through small gestures. He'd make sure you had an extra meal, or he'd simply sit beside you during your moments of quiet contemplation.

One moonless night, you found yourself sitting alone by the river, tears streaming down your face, lost in the abyss of your thoughts. The world felt like a cruel place, and you didn't know how much longer you could bear it.

Then, Blade appeared, as silent as the night itself, and sat beside you. He didn't say a word, but his presence was a lifeline in the dark.

You couldn't hold back anymore. Your voice trembled as you confessed, "Blade, I'm not as strong as I pretend to be. Life has been tearing me apart, and I can't keep up this act."

His stern façade melted, revealing the depths of his concern. He might not have been skilled in comforting words, but he tried. "I'm not good at this, but I'll listen. You're not alone."

Tears fell freely now as you let your emotions flow. Blade didn't have all the answers, but he was there, offering the one thing you needed most - someone who cared, someone who tried.

In that moment, the unbreakable warrior became your refuge. The darkness lifted, just a fraction, as you realized you didn't have to face your demons alone.

He may not have been the best at comforting, but his presence was enough. Together, you faced the trials of life, knowing that you had each other to lean on.

And in the embrace of Blade's quiet strength, you found the comfort and courage to face each new day, no matter how challenging it might be.

[bikwin5]

i played the original 3 dragon quest (warrior) games over the past month so i'm putting my thoughts on them here

dragon quest 1: i did not finish after playing this for about 8 hours. it might have been more, i don't know. time feels irrelevant when playing this title. i wanted to give it a fair shake and i respect yuji horii's idea of wanting to make an rpg simple but i think he made it a bit too simple and the result is a mind numbing experience with rather grating audio. i listened to 2 or 3 wayneradiotv podcast episodes while playing. this does not feel like a real video game, it feels more like a fake tv show drake and josh game. it's reminiscent of a flash game you discover as a kid and get hooked on it for a few hours due to the grindy loop and then never play it again. it's also reminiscent of a lot of mobile phone games where you do nothing but press a button to make numbers go up endlessly so maybe they were really ahead of the curve with this one

dragon quest 2: started off incredibly refreshing compared to the first game, giving you plenty of more options and party members straight off the bat. at first it's pretty straightforward but once you get the boat the direction becomes incredibly unclear. sad to say i was not above using a walkthrough for a lot of it. as much as i like figuring out everything through writing down hints there is a lot of stuff that is truly cryptic, especially finding zahan. the game is already challenging but the last few areas in particular jack up the difficulty so much that after a point it stops being anger inducing and starts being really funny. it's all strangely enjoyable in a twisted way. i actually would say i liked most of this game but i would not recommend playing the original version unless you are a masochist or love to gamble

dragon quest 3: take dq2, give it an actual semblance of balance, make it even larger, and you have this one. having a highly customizable party thrown on you at the start of the game made me miss having specific characters that 2 had but it made for a better gameplay experience. somehow i didnt realize that you could have 4 party members in this one and struggled for the first few hours wondering why i ran out of mp so fast. the beginning isn't actually that hard but then there's a big difficulty jump at the desert, and then the difficulty doesn't really spike anymore until the necrogond cave to the very end. still, dq2 makes this game look very well balanced by comparison. there is a good balance of making you feel powerful and making enemies feel powerful too. i was less privy to using a walkthrough on this one but there was still some things i went to look up especially near the end where i was growing impatient. i made my own map for this one and it took me far too long to realize the world is just earth, which comes with its own baggage of having some strangely colonial themes. game was longer than i expected but overall still pretty good, this is the only one of the original nes 3 i would actually recommend playing but i figure the remakes make things a lot smoother too. i hope the hd2d remakes are good.

[chibimui]

The Apothecary Diaries LN1 Thoughts - Part 3 (ch25 - End)

[Part 1] [Part 2]

The final part of my thoughts on the first volume of The Apothecary Diaries. We'll go through the remaining chapters and wrap up with my overall thoughts on this novel on it's own, as the beginning to the story.

Without further ado, here we go!

(Warning: spoilers for the rest of the light novels up until LN15, for English-only readers please be mindful if you don't want to be spoiled!)

Last part we had Jinshi finally realizing Maomao is a human being at the garden party and now we get Maomao finally realizing Jinshi is actually a human being after seeing how he reacts to Sir Kounen's death. Of course, all of this is only possible because Jinshi increasingly stops putting on his mask around Maomao. I'm not sure if this was necessarily a conscious decision on his part or if it was something that just happened as he grew to like her more.

In general, throughout the remaining chapters of LN1 we get more and more observations from Maomao about how youthful and childish Jinshi frequently looks. I'm not going to screencap all these moments, but it's a clear sign that Maomao is starting to observe Jinshi more closely! Although, childish Jinshi still infuriates Maomao - she hasn't warmed up to him just yet, mostly because she still thinks he's a bum who keeps skirting his job to mess with her (and she's not entirely wrong - once again, my condolences to Gaoshun).

I also need to highlight this moment because this is them flirting, trust me:

No, but for real - this is both Maomao and Jinshi letting their guards down and showing their real selves around each other. Jinshi being a little shit, and Maomao not holding back her absolute disdain/horror at potentially not being able to drink.

Next in Ch26 is when we get another teaching moment from Maomao to Jinshi about the differences in there status, but before I jump to that I want to highlight this little detail first:

This is a thought Maomao has at the fact that whenever she is officially called to meet Jinshi, it is always in someone else's office - usually the office of the Matron who is in charge of the serving ladies. It's a small detail, but upon hindsight I realize this is a pretty big hint that Jinshi is not simply someone who works in the rear palace and actually has a greater role outside of the rear palace (where his office presumably would be).

Now. The conversation Maomao has with Jinshi where she requests that if he were to order her death, she would prefer to be poisoned. Once again, I want to give props to the anime for doing such an amazing job with this scene.

It was interesting to see how this scene was written in the novel because we get Jinshi's reaction mostly from Maomao's point of view and she only... sort of picks up on the fact that Jinshi is upset. She notices his demeanor, but she doesn't understand what it means. Thankfully with what Maomao observes, we as readers can discern that Jinshi is probably waaaaay more upset and disturbed than Maomao is realizing, but I feel like the weight of Jinshi's horror is a bit lost through this lens, which is somewhat unfortunate.

To give Maomao a pass, she also genuinely doesn't realize that she's actually teaching Jinshi a really hard lesson here. Jinshi is young. We the reader, and Maomao, don't know this yet - but the guy is only nineteen and he was incredibly sheltered for the majority of his life. At this point, he also mostly seems to assume that people only listen to him because he's attractive and not because, you know, he's royalty (of clearly just someone of importance), but Maomao painting it out for him in such a stark way really gets to him. Partly because he genuinely cares for her, but also I think because he has truly never had to consider just how powerful he is... until now.

Moving on we get to the "Honey arc" - Lishu's part of the story. Sharing a few notable moments I highlighted on some things I've already touched upon:

Maomao comparing the rear palace to a prison/cage.

Maomao being affected by others being afraid of her

This one was just hilarious to me because Maomao is being so mean, but also I love how she is so used to being rude to Jinshi she legit forgets that she's not supposed to treat him like that!

Now the last snippet is the one that is most interesting to me because for all the progress both Jinshi and Maomao have made at warming up around each other, it is clear that there is still very much still a clear boundary between them. Jinshi very much does not know that he doesn't need to be seductive because he assumes that's actually the only reason people listen to him and Maomao obviously is still acting under the role as a servant who has no say in what is requested of her. It's also this exact miscommunication and misunderstanding between the two of them that results in what happens at the end of the novel - Maomao being fired.

Overall this final arc of the novel is really fascinating to me, both because Lishu and Ah-Duo play somewhat significant roles later on, and because what Maomao learns from this part of the novel brings her a teensy-tiny bit closer to discovering who Jinshi really is... except for the fact that she staunchly refuses to acknowledge this until basically LN9 after she actually sees Jinshi and the Emperor interacting. She clocks everything in LN1! And ignored what she knew for TWO YEARS. Maomao truly is the queen of compartmentalizing and denial.

I also just want to point out that in the novel Jinshi does actually acknowledge his little honey trick with Maomao as being a bit overboard. I've definitely seen a lot of anime-only folks who were very uncomfortable with that scene and use it as a reason to either dislike JinMao as a ship, or Jinshi entirely as a person. Honestly, that judgement is fair. I like how with the novel's acknowledgement thought, it shows that Jinshi isn't stupid or unaware of his actions and the affect he has on people - he's unfortunately still just really immature, lol.

Anyway, skipping ahead to share our first actually somewhat intimate JinMao moment!!

Honestly, I think this moment really just shows Maomao's overall kindness. It definitely belies the fact that Maomao doesn't dislike Jinshi as much as she acts, but I don't think she has necessarily started liking him yet either--but she recognizes he's upset and she is willing to give him a break for it because what Maomao has always appreciated most about JInshi so far are the moments when he's human, and this is undoubtedly one of them.

I'm not going to share screencaps of all of Maomao's 100% correct theorizing as she watches Ah-Duo exit the palace, but this girl literally gets it right all the way at the start. What a genius. I do want to highlight the final line of ch30 though:

I actually have so many thoughts about Ah-Duo. I'm not going to get into all of it because that will come later, but I do like how, right from the start, the novel highlights how maternal Ah-Duo is. It's interesting because she's frequently described as manly and presenting very masculine, and I feel like in a lot of other stories the assumption would be she has zero interest in children, but that is not the case at all here. Love it. Love the example that a woman can act "masculine" and still be maternal. I just love Ah-Duo so much. She may never have wanted to be Empress, but I think she did want to be a mother (and were this an AU, I think she'd have been damn good at it!)

Jinshi's immense sadness at her leaving does also make me wonder what exactly were their interactions like while they were both in the rear palace? It's very obvious from later novels that Ah-Duo absolutely acknowledges and sees Jinshi as her son and wants the absolute best for him, but I assume she doesn't actually show that too Jinshi. Maybe that's why she kicked him out after drinking, lol. I assume she was somewhat sad too--she won't get to see him as much now after all. I also wonder if the rest of Ah-Duo's Ladies-in-Waiting also all know who Jinshi is. I wonder how often he would go see her just to get a bit of a break. Gah, so many questions about these two!!

Anyway, we finally get to the last bit of the novel. Maomao's departure!

In this chapter we get to see how seriously Jinshi has taken all of Maomao's little lessons for him regarding his status, the power he wields, and how that affects her as a commoner with no power. It leaves him in quite a conundrum as he is in a position where he has the opportunity to use his power to get what he wants, but is rightfully worried about doing so.

I want to point out that I like how the novel explicitly states that what JInshi is worried about is how their status, and him using his power to order Maomao around, could ultimately ruin their relationship. When Jinshi said he was worried about their gap becoming wider in the anime, I'll admit, I had no idea what he meant because their relationship seemed to be going pretty well at that point.

Now. We all know how Maomao's negotiations with Jinshi actually end up going, which is they fail terribly. It's actually really unfortunate because the crux of this miscommunication is that Maomao cannot see past their noble-commoner relationship, which is actually 100% fair! That is totally valid of her! It's just really unfortunate because Jinshi is genuinely trying to be understanding and meet Maomao at her level, he just misses the mark because he still doesn't fully understand that he can't meet her at her level (yet). Him, a person in power, asking someone lesser than them "What do you want" won't work because most will see that as a trap. A trick question.

This is something Jinshi will come to realize later on, but he actually cannot ignore the power he has and it would be detrimental of him to do so. At the end of the day, his word is law. He cannot change that for himself. Maomao knows this, Jinshi is still grappling with this. So Maomao acts accordingly to her station, given the situation as she understands it to be - which is that she has no say, and Jinshi has all of it.

I do like this observation later on from Gaoshun though:

First, Gaoshun has now officially become the second member of the JinMao ship (first was Gyokuyou). Secondly--and more seriously--while Jinshi may not have a say in how much power he wields, one thing he can do is listen to Maomao and respect her wants. Which is what he was trying to do. The undoing there is that Maomao sucks at saying what she wants! So it's not just Jinshi still fundamentally misunderstanding the power dynamic that exists between them, but definitely also Maomao being shit at communicating when given a golden opportunity to do so.

Which leads us to the epilogue, and I just want to say I love the title for the epilogue: The Eunuch and the Courtesan. I love it because both of these titles for Jinshi and Maomao respectively are incorrect descriptions. Jinshi is neither a eunuch and Maomao is neither a courtesan. They're both playing roles that don't actually suit either of them.

Can I just say, Jinshi doing that thing with his finger on her lip was honestly so smooth. I mean. Just look at Maomao's reaction:

If she truly hadn't liked it, she would not have stopped herself from looking at him like a piece of dirt--but no. Maomao is flustered. She was charmed. Unfortunately this is basically the moment Jinshi uses up all his rizz because I feel nothing he ever does after this flusters Maomao to this extent, and once they get together Maomao is the one doing the flustering. Don't worry Maomao, you'll get your revenge with a single finger of your own in LN14 *snorts*.

And then we end with Jinshi buying Maomao out which will take us to LN2 which means this is it folks! That's a wrap for Volume 1 of The Apothecary Diaries light novels!

I didn't explicitly mention this at the start, although you probably noticed if you read this whole thing - but I purposely tried to avoid talking about the overall plot of this novel, and part of that is because the influence from the anime is too strong for me.

My goal for sharing my thoughts on LN1 (and upcoming LN2) is really to focus on the extra details and things that stood out to me outside of what we already know from the anime. Some things still overlapped, but otherwise I would've just been gushing about the anime which isn't the point! When I get to LN3 and 4 (assuming S2 hasn't released by then) I will touch on more plot related things. Especially because OH BOY the plot related things in those novels is huge.

Anyway, as a novel - I really liked how this book is separated in a way where all the mysteries and tasks Maomao ends up doing ends up focusing individually on each of the four consorts one after the other. We start with Gyokuyou, then Lihua, then Lishu and then we finish with Ah-Duo. I also don't know if this is purposeful, but this progression goes from the consort who ends up being the most "trapped" (I would argue becoming the Emperor's main consort is the most trapped you can be), to the one who is able to "escape" (although it's arguable whether Ah-Duo is ever really free given her specific circumstance).

I'd say Lihua and Lishu are the ones in the end who actually get the best end of the stick. Lihua still gets a kid and remains in the Emperor's good graces, but is able to stay out of all the politics and focus on just being a mother, and Lishu gets to leave entirely and nets herself a future husband! It is unfortunate that out of all the consorts, Lihua basically disappears from the narrative after a certain point. She's so sweet. I love the anime adding in the scene of her patting Maomao's head <3.

You can really tell this is an introduction to the story too. The mysteries in this novel are presented in the most episodic way compared to later novels. Basically every chapter is a new case, and there isn't really an overarching narrative behind them compared to Vol 2. The mysteries do a really great job of bringing the reader into the setting though, and each case Maomao solves ends up teaching you something about the environment, and the way the world Maomao lives in works. Nothing feels rushed, nothing feels lacking. A solid start to a slow-burner of a series.

I also want to say it was refreshing to see Jinshi and Maomao at their early stages of interaction again. There really is such a difference in how Maomao and Jinshi interact in this novel compared to later ones Heck, I feel like even by LN3 she's already way less cagey around him. I genuinely kind of forgot she sees him like a dirty bug for a decent chunk of time. Yeah, she still finds him annoying in later novels, but the amount of times the narration describes Maomao glaring at Jinshi in this book alone is hilarious (also goes to show she sucks at hiding her emotions, lol).

Now onto LN2! I'm still in the process of reading it, but here's hope I can post part 1 soon. :)

[Light Novel 2 Thoughts - Part 1]

[rogueddie]

with the hp/ jk thing. the defenders always go 'separate the art from the artist, only interact with fanon, only read fanfic, it's not hp, its a different era, but using her world and characters'

she has said any support for her work is supporting her and her ideals. even if they just interact with fanon its still promoting hp, and supporting her.

they bend over backwards to justify continuing to support the work of a raging bigot and holocaust denier.

and they bring up 'but its my special interest' it was a lot of peoples special interest for a long time. including mine for over 15 years. but then she started to get more vocal with her hatred, and i started noticing her bigotry in her work, and became more educated on it. i eased myself off of it, it's hard, but its possible.

im also trans in the uk. everytime i hear her name it sends a chill through me in fear of what is coming next. a lot of people, especially Americans, don't realize how much power and influence she has here. she is incredibly rich and she is a household name, almost everyone has heard of her

but it shows where their priorities stand. they're all about standing up for the little guy, for promoting the rights of marginalized people, until it's their entertainment on the line. they'd rather keep their comfort thing than do what they're otherwise preaching.

i hope you can stay as safe as possible, and i hope something changes for the better for people like us soon <3

All of this! You put it perfectly!

I've definitely been lenient with them, given my own hyperfixation on Stranger Things, which has its own issues, but she's been getting so extremely bad recently that I can't fucking stand it anymore.

When the popularity and monetary support of Harry Potter is something she uses as a defense, something that other transphobes use to levy her name as a battering ram, you have no excuse.

You can so easily keep all that shit offline! Read the books in the privacy of your home! Stop funding her transphobia! Stop willingly allowing her to weaponize your "special interest" to discriminate against a minority group that is being seriously threatened right now! TRANS PEOPLE ARE BEING MURDERED!

Sure, a lot of people have distance and "but I'm American" as a defense for their ignorance- but she's been quoted by a GOP senator while they blocked a vote on an LGBT bill, so no, they don't actually.

And, sure, a lot of people don't think she's actually transphobic- but being ignorant can only last so long before you look like a liar or an idiot. Especially when she's spending £70,000 on challanging "the definition of woman", which seems to me an obvious attempt to delegitimize GRCs (Gender Recognition Certificates).

Just in case there is someone coming across this who doesn't think JK Rowling is actually transphobic, I'd recommend this video that Matt Bernstein made with Contrapoints (which still misses a couple points, but Contrapoints also has a great video on jkr).

I hope you stay safe too. And I am confident that things will change and improve for us in the near future. We are the easy target right now, but it will not stay that way forever.

The transphobes are loud but they are not the popular opinion. We have a community and I know that there will always be people who have our backs while we fight for our safety and freedom. People will listen, and we will move forward.

Wishing you the best x

[poguesofthebau]

dating steve would include... (part two)

pairing: steve harrington x fem!henderson!reader part one

-sneaking him into your house for sleepovers

-him complaining whenever you dedicated time to schoolwork instead of him (even if you allowed him to sit with you while you worked)

-both of you being slightly territorial but completely unwilling to admit it, which was always entertaining for your friends to watch in action

-occasionally giving him a hard time over all the girls he dated before you just to see him get all worked up and defensive

-letting robin take the passenger seat when he drives you both to school, until he randomly starts picking you up first and doubling back by his house for robin afterward ("what? you're too nice to tell robin to get in the back, so i had to take matters into my own hands")

-dustin referring to you and steve as every famous duo under the sun •bonnie and clyde •romeo and juliet •holmes and watson

-understanding all the kids' d&d terminology, which only ever surprises steve ("babe, how do you know this stuff? am i the only normal one here?")

-randomly making a statement supporting queer rights during a conversation with steve and robin which eventually led to her coming out to you

-punching billy in the face in the school parking lot one time because he was being racist giving lucas a hard time, which steve was actually pretty mad at you for (“y/n, he could’ve seriously hurt you! do you not understand that?”)

-taking mid-day naps together after you got out of school/he got out of work

-steve being the best listener when you just needed someone to rant to •mumbling a supportive mhmmm whenever you made a specific point during the rant •you rambling for 5 minutes straight, then sighing and saying, “ya know?”, to which steve nods and says “i hear ya, babe” •when your anger fades a little and you ask him, “am i just being crazy?” his immediate response is something like ‘absolutely not! those dickheads are lucky i don't send el to fling them off a rooftop or something'

-dustin barreling into your room while preemptively covering his eyes and yelling threats every time he realizes steve is over and you have the door closed

-him offering to drive you whenever you mentioned having to go somewhere to him

-constantly having to explain lord of the rings/the hobbit references to him (“babe, please just read the books”)

-when you ask what's gonna happen when you go away for college, he looks genuinely dumbfounded before shrugging and saying, "i thought i'd just go wherever you go"

-a double date with nancy and jonathan that was both horribly awkward and incredibly fun

-spearheading all the kids' crazy plans, which drives steve insane

-steve looking at you and saying, “these are the people that are gonna babysit our kids one day” every time your friends did anything abnormal/ridiculous •while dustin, mike, lucas, and will have a full-blown argument over their d&d campaign •after robin trips and face-plants on the walk from her front door to steve's car •when el is using her powers to adjust the tv antenna so no one has to get up from their seats •after nancy convinced everyone to go back into the upside down/face vecna despite the terrible odds

-your mom adoring him, which kind of annoyed dustin but also made his heart feel whole

-his fingers hooked in your belt loops in a crowd to keep from getting separated

-him playing with your fingers while you talked to dustin about something that didn’t interest him

-listening to him sing in the shower when he didn’t realize how loud he was being

-giving him tons of nicknames but only reusing the ones that made him blush •lover •stevie (which he forbade anyone else from calling him) •batman (originally because of his iconic nail bat, but then a double entendre of sorts after his encounter with vecna's bats)

-him knowing your favorite song off the top of his head even before vecna came around