#though I did take the analysis seriously

[chasingshadowsblog]

"A man of contradictions. A man of many moods." - An analysis of three characters played by Kurt Russell and directed by John Carpenter.

Throughout their long careers and friendship, John Carpenter and Kurt Russell have collaborated no more than five times together. Those five times, however, produced an array of memorable films and performances, turning Kurt Russell into an iconic cult hero and solidifying John Carpenter as one of the most unique and influential directors of his time. Such was their stamp on the movie world that the characters they created together remain among the most beloved of film-goers both old and new, and their films the subjects of frequent re-watches and special screenings. This essay focuses on the strongest of those collaborations and analyses three of their most iconic characters - Snake Plissken, Jack Burton, and RJ Macready. The analysis will be based on a trilogy of factors: their competence in their environments, their likability to other characters and the audience, and their arc throughout their films. After which they will be scored by an arbitrary scale based on their success in each factor and, let's be honest, vibes. What will the results conclude? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But I had a good time doing it.

(Disclaimer: I opted not to include Elvis or Escape From LA because the first is about a real person and the second is a sequel and I didn't want Snake Plissken to have an edge.)

Snake Plissken

"SD Plissken, American Lieutenant. Special Forces Unit, Black Flight. Two Purple Hearts, Leningrad and Siberia. Youngest man to be decorated by the President." After establishing that Manhattan island has been turned into the most tightly secured prison in the country, Snake Plissken is introduced to us as one of its prisoners and with crime rates up 400% in this version of 1997 New York, you'd have to be a special kind of person to end up here.

Competence: "They sent in their best man…" In his first conversation with commissioner Bob Haulk, Snake's military background is revealed showing just how highly skilled he already was before turning into a criminal. This conversation also reveals to Snake what we witnessed at the beginning of the movie: after an emergency landing the President has been kidnapped and is being kept somewhere in the city while in possession of a tape that holds the key to international peace negotiations and the government needs Snake Plissken to get him back. This decision isn't so much using a criminal to catch a criminal as it is based on Snake's history as a highly skilled and decorated military man. For this world, and this task, Snake Plissken is the best option and he has ample opportunity throughout the movie to display his skills. The first stage of his mission is to fly into New York and land on top of the World Trade Centre without being detected - a feat made all the more impessive by the fact that he only has one good eye. He lands successfully and, using a tracker, follows the President's trail to an old theatre. It turns out the tracker was attached to someone else, but here Snake meets Cabbie, a denizen of the city who is excited to see him and wants to help out. Snake leaves the theatre on his own but ends up meeting Cabbie again while being pursued by a gang of the "crazies" that roam the streets and sewers. He jumps into Cabbie's cab and watches the old man toss a Molotov cocktail out the window at the coming horde (without missing a beat of their conversation - a great scene). Cabbie tells Snake that the President is being held hostage by the "Duke of New York". Cabbie takes him to the Duke's headquarters where they meet Maggie and Brain, who eventually agree to bring Snake to the President after he threatens to kill them both. Snake easily infiltrates the base and finds the President, killing one of the guards with a knife throw to the head (it's all in the reflexes), but gets shot in the leg in the process. As the two men try to sneak away they are captured again by the Duke. After being knocked out, Snake wakes up at the Duke's base and is forced into a gladiator-like wrestling match while Brain and Maggie rescue the President. As they do so, Snake, on his injured leg, wins the fight and the admiration of the crowd and leaves to find Maggie, Brain and the President. Following Brain's map, they attempt to leave the city, pursued closely by the Duke. After losing Maggie, Brain and Cabbie in the chase, Snake and the President make it to the perimeter of the city; from the top of the wall, the President shoots the Duke, allowing Snake to climb up after him, mission accomplished. For the nature of the world and the task involved, Snake Plissken is undoubtedly competent. Although there are times when he couldn't have moved forward without the help of Brain, Maggie or Cabbie, these moments by no means belittle his own capabilities. With their help, Snake completes the mission assigned to him, while frequently proving himself capable of surviving in both worlds. 10/10 for competence.

Likability: "God, I hate that guy." Snake may be skilled and capable but when he jumps into to Cabbie's cab to escape the crazies, he ignores the fact that the man wants to help him and that he might need that help, "Why didn't you ask me? I know everybody." Cabbie tells him something he didn't know - that the President was being held hostage by the Duke - and shows that he isn't all that well-informed about the politics of this world; in this territory, he may sometimes need the locals to guide him. Snake is begrudging in his times of need and responds to these situations by threatening those he asks for help, like holding a gun to Cabbie's head even though he was willing to help without being asked, "You don't have to put a gun to my head, I'll tell ya", and threatening to kill Brain and Maggie if they don't bring him where he wants to go. Snake is a loner by nature and it is difficult for him to accept help, so when he does, it needs to seem as if he's ordering it rather than accepting it. Of course, being a loner doesn't make a person unlikable, it is Snake's rejection of people that makes me wonder why so many were excited to see him. Snake Plissken is something of a legend in New York, though it is never specified how. Everyone he runs into is happy to see him so we can assume they think of him as a hero especially since they ask him for help each time. Cutting to the bone, Snake's appeal to these people is his usefulness. The only person Snake knows in New York is Brain and after meeting him for the first time in four years, he immediately throws the man's past betrayal in his face. We know Brain doesn't like Snake either and only helps him to ensure his and Maggie's escape, later calling Snake an asshole after he drives over the mine that causes Cabbie's death, "I said jog left, you asshole". The only time Snake really engages with another person is when Brain himself steps on a mine and Maggie can only stare at his mangled body. Snake tries to get her to move but Maggie only silently stares back at him, then lifts her hand. Sensing her resolve, he hands her his gun and leaves. Snake doesn't exactly offer her compassion in her silent grief, but he does offer her understanding and when he realises that she isn't going to move he doesn't push her to go on; he hands her a gun so she can shoot at the Duke's car in a futile attempt to avenge her husband. In this world, among these people, that's about all they can give each other. So, Snake Plissken is likable by convention. Watching a character be good at the things they're supposed to be good at is very attractive to a viewer. As well as that, he dislikes the right people; the President proves at the end that he is as uncaring of the lives lost as the criminals that roam the streets of New York, "A lot of people died in the process, I just wondered how you felt about it." Right after this, Haulk offers him a job which Snake refuses. By referencing the deaths of Maggie, Brain and Cabbie, then rejecting the advances of the cold, manipulative authority figures, Snake shows that, while he is still for himself, he is for himself on the right side, the side of the characters we do like. It doesn't hurt that he's the lead character of the movie, the first person we are programmed to root for, and that he's played by someone as charismatic as Kurt Russell, who can channel the fun bravado of characters like Snake rather than their arrogance and apathy. Snake gets 4/10 for likability.

Progress: "It's about the survival of the human race, Plissken. Something you don't give a shit about." Snake's character changes very little from beginning to end. The most notable difference is how he refers to himself in the presence of Haulk. In their first scene, Haulk refers to him as ''Plissken'' and Snake insists on "Snake"; at the end, Haulk calls him by his first name and Snake says "Plissken" instead. At the start, he doesn't want to be talked down to by the likes of Haulk, someone he doesn't like or respect, and insists on his first name being used; by the end, possibly even more disillusioned, Snake doesn't want to be spoken to familiarly by these people. If anything this shows a small change in Snake's feelings towards others. He may not have shown it when they were working together, but Snake was, ultimately, loyal to those who helped him. The fact that he sabotaged the President's speech by giving him the wrong tape shows a sense of solidarity to Brain, Maggie and Cabbie and their memories. Had the President responded some other way to Snake's question, it's possible he might have handed over the correct tape. As it was, after the things he experienced in New York and the callous treatment by the President of the people who died helping him, Snake chooses instead to give the world the middle finger in their honour. 2/10 for character progression (he basically just focuses his dislike for other people from 'everybody' to 'particularly these ones').

RJ MacReady

"I know I'm human. And if you were all these things, then you'd just attack me right now, so some of you are still human. This thing doesn't want to show itself, it wants to hide inside an imitation. It'll fight if it has to, but it's vulnerable out in the open." I would argue that nobody could be prepared for what happened to Outpost 31 in The Thing, so, unlike Snake, who is built for his world, and Jack, whose modus operandi is that he's the bumbling sidekick, MacReady really shines in the group as a normal guy surviving an absurd situation.

Competence: "Mac's really taking it up, huh?" "He knows what he's doing." MacReady is also different in that among a team of scientists researching in Antartica, he is the helicopter pilot. Which is still no mean feat in the face of Antartic weather, and Mac is always willing and able to take his helicopter out even when warned otherwise. Mac, as a pilot, must be cool under pressure, have the ability to think himself out of a situation, be adaptable, and confident in a position of control. Early scenes try to set Mac up as the callous dumbass of the group; our introduction to him shows him losing to a computer at chess then pouring whiskey into the drive to kill it, "cheatin' bitch,", and not long after this he frequently refers to the Norwegians as Swedes despite being corrected twice. In great contrast to this image, Mac ends up being the figure that the others look to. When the shit hits the fan, MacReady keeps his cool while the rest of the group grow angry and paranoid. Although Blair figures out what the Thing is trying to do it is Mac who takes action; he calls for the flamethrower when the Thing erupts from the dog; he organises the group to take out Blair and locks him in the cabin afterwards; he comes up with the blood test when their first method is destroyed; he burns Bennings' assimilated body with no hesitation. None of these things are pleasant and he certainly doesn't want to do them but they are necessary tasks and, as proven by that first trip to the Norwegian base, when there's a job no one else wants to do, Mac can be relied upon to do it. As soon as the Thing makes itself known he only wants to come up with ideas to stop it, even if it means they won't get out alive, "We're not gettin' outta here alive. But neither is that thing." Blair, faced with his discovery, lost his mind; Garry, after the loss of his friend and the trust of the team, cedes his position willingly; Childs reacts in anger, and the rest of the group in fear. Only MacReady is able to deal with the situation by applying to it every skill he already has from his normal life and adding a flamethrower. He only grows reactive when other characters accuse him of being an imitation. He is so confident in himself that this is the only thing that can get a rise out of him and he is beyond unwilling to put up with such nonsense. MacReady rules the roost with a steady hand and comes out on the end as one of two survivors. The other is Childs, his opposite in many ways yet the only other character that could have matched his competency. Mac recognises Childs' power when he asks him to take the lead in taking down Blair, showing another smart quality in Mac's leadership abilities. Still, despite recognising Childs as an equal, only he could be the stand-in leader. When Garry offers his gun, Childs jumps at the chance before anyone else can and must be stopped by MacReady who points out the need for a less reactive candidate. Whatever the nature of this research trip was before, it must be believable that Mac is the only man who can get them out of this mess and the story does a good job of letting him prove himself even without the other characters already deferring to him. 6/10 for competence, he did his absolute best with the skills and resources he had.

Likability: "Yeah, fuck you, too." This is another aspect of Mac I find fascinating because at no point do we ever see him wanting to be liked, trying to be liked or being likable, but almost everyone in this movie really likes Mac. We don't get to see the relationships build between these men only what is already established followed swiftly by the fallout as the alien invades their base and the group turns on each other. In the midst of this we see Mac approached by members of the team with their concerns, we see them trust him and follow his orders even when there are higher ranking members around. Mac cuts an impressive figure - he's cool and confident and this group of nerds flock to him like moths to a flame. He appears to have some rapport with Blair, "How you doin', old boy?", is trusted enough by Fuchs that he confides in Mac, and is commanding enough that they all agree to be tied up as he carries out the blood test. Mac strikes a good balance between the silent assuredness of Snake Plissken and the over-eager chattiness of Jack Burton. Mac is never quiet but never wastes his words. He doesn't speak to fill silences or to narrate whatever comes to mind, when he speaks it is to communicate information. The more Mac tries to get them out of the nightmare they're all stuck in the more we believe him to be the reliable guy the scientists already know. Up to a a certain point (Bennings' immolation) the film has only exuded fear and confusion, Mac's emotionless handling of events anchors us and provides us a character we know we can look to as leader. Once the Thing gets loose, Mac cuts off his emotional ties with the group, locking Blair in a cabin, not having time for Garry's emotion after Bennings dies, nor having any inhibitions about tying people up and possibly needing to burn them alive. His lack of emotions is what keeps him alive in the end, of course, but wins him no points on the likability meter. 2/10 for being played by Kurt Russell.

Progress: "Anyone messes with me… and the whole camp goes." The events of this movie offer limited space for character progression and unfortunately MacReady is going to suffer for that. Based on his introduction, I wouldn't think of him as the stupid hot-head of the group but nor would I have expected him to take the lead; MacReady exudes an air of I don't care, which acts in contrast to his active desire to rid the base of the Thing. He frequently seperates himself from the group - when he's playing chess at the beginning, getting a beer in the kitchen while the rest are in the rec room and his cabin is separate from the main building, while the others appear to share rooms - and when Fuchs wants to have a private talk with him Mac initially turns him down, "I'm tired of talking, Fuchs, I just wanna get up to my shack and get drunk." So, it's somewhat of a surprise that Mac takes the lead so swiftly and confidently; it seems to go against our initial impression of him that he would be so willing to take control and keep the group together (this is the same guy who didn't drop his bottle of whiskey when they were being shot at by the Norwegian). It is only when they decide to take a trip to the Norwegian base that Mac begins to show what he's capable of. Despite being well-liked by most of the group, Mac prefers his own company; the fact that he had the skills in him the whole time to fight the Thing as best as anyone could does not necessarily indicate character progression, it's just another part of him. The minimal amount of progression we get from Mac comes from the fact that he goes against his solitary nature to take up the lead in this situation. 1/10 for character progression.

Jack Burton

"You leave Jack Burton alone. We are in his debt. He showed great courage." Jack Burton is a great one to analyse for this piece as he was never the intended lead of the movie - that role belongs to Denis Dun's Wang Chi - so his strengths fall into different categories than the other two. The first scene, in which Egg Shen is interrogated by the FBI, was added at the end of filming at the insistence of the studio to make Jack Burton appear more heroic. There's no doubting Jack's bravery, but I do wonder how much the people of Chinatown really owe him. Don't get me wrong, I love Jack Burton; he has a lot of heart and he tries to help his friend, but Carpenter always intended for him to be the side-kick in his partnership with Wang Chi and, comparing the actions and motivations of the two men, that isn't difficult to see. Wang is more proactive, his motivation is love; Jack wants his truck back. His truck is the thing that keeps him focused and, despite some amount of care for his friends, he really sticks to these guns until the very end. Jack as the hero doesn't make sense; Jack as a reactive side-kick who regularly freaks out and needs everything explained to him is perfect.

Competence: "You know what Jack Burton always says at a time like this?" "Who?" "Jack Burton. Me!" In terms of competence, Jack falls short. Brave? Certainly. Successful in his efforts? Not so much. Jack talks a big game and he does fancy himself a heroic figure as seen when he tries takes the lead in infiltrating the White Tiger and David Lo Pan's headquarters even though Wang, Egg and the rest of the group are clearly more capable and usually the ones who get things done. During these moments he ends up falling back, standing ready with his knife, as in the funeral duel in Chinatown, or trying to get his gun to work while Wang fights Lo Pan's henchmen. He knocks himself out in the final battle and, after waking up and stabbing a guy with his knife, gets himself stuck under that same guy. Jack can take out one guy while Wang is taking out six or seven. Jack's actual skills are more down to earth compared to the likes of Wang and Egg Shen - you can't deny he's a good truck driver as you watch him navigate the narrow streets of Chinatown in the humongous Pork-Chop Express. Unfortunately, in a quest to get his truck back from the people who stole it from him, Jack doesn't get to show off this skill for more than a few minutes. He's also good at poker, being the last one standing in the game he plays with Wang and his other friends at the start of the movie, winning at least a thousand dollars from Wang. Not to mention his reflexes, which he gets to showcase at the very end when he takes down David Lo Pan. Jack might be a competent human being under normal circumstances but in this situation he is entirely unequipped. 2/10 because his heart was in it.

Likability: "What does that mean, huh? China is here. I don't even know what the hell that means." While he isn't often successful in his attempts at heroics, there is a bravery and selflessness in Jack's actions throughout the movie that win him the admiration of the other characters and the audience. Egg was telling the truth when he said that Jack showed great courage. It's pretty much all he does in these situations and one of the best things about Jack is that he keeps trying. The fact that he sticks by Wang even though he doesn't understand all of the Chinatown magic and politics is enough. In this world of kung fu, elemental villains, and underground headquarters, Jack is the everyman - he is us. As such, it's very easy to like Jack. As an outsider he needs things explained to him at every turn and like any audience member who dreams of being an action hero, he dives headfirst into the fray despite his lack of knowledge and capabilities. And then he fails. Often. Another credit in his favour: Jack is a good friend. "As two. I said I was coming." While Jack initially joins Wang first to make sure he gets his money, then later to get his truck back, there are many points throughout the action where Jack puts his friend, and other characters he's just met, first. The poker game at the beginning shows us that Jack and Wang have been friends for some time now and that Jack has a history with all of these people, "Is this going to get ugly, huh? 'Cause what I thought we were here, racial differences notwithstanding, was just a couple of old friends, you know, both of us just Californians." When Wang attempts to win back his money, "nothing or double" Jack thinks he's crazy but appears to be enjoying the challenge, "You're out of your mind, Wang. God bless you." Even though he only insists on driving Wang to the airport to make sure he gets his money, Jack listens to him talking fondly about Miao Yin though he clearly isn't interested. After the altercation with Lo Pan's henchmen at the airport Jack volunteers to bring Wang to their headquarters before he's even had a chance to ask, "I can't ask you to-" "Where is it?" "Thank you, Jack" - at this point Jack has no other investment in the situation other than helping his friend. Although Jack's resolve tends to waver when he gets spooked and it's never exactly clear when he is being motivated by his truck or a need to help his friends, there are many moments in which he shows great courage and selflessness. He tries to intervene when Lo Pan's henchmen grab the woman in the airport; when the Storms arrive at the brothel he tries to fight them; while Wang and Eddie are fighting the guards, Jack sneaks past them to free Margot and the captured women "Are you gonna spring us?" "I have no idea!"; as the group tries to escape, he offers to stay behind to distract the guards while the rest of them leave, "Hide! They only saw me." When they get caught he takes the beating from Thunder and actively turns their attention from Wang; facing David Lo Pan for the first time, Jack isn't afraid to talk smack to him. For all of these reasons, Jack is a likable guy and it doesn't hurt that he is played so well by Kurt Russell, who knew exactly what Carpenter was attempting with the dynamic of Wang and Jack. Jack deserves a full 10/10 here for being a good friend and an excellent sidekick.

Progress: "This is Jack Burton of the Pork-Chop Express and I'm talking to anyone who's listening. It's like I said to my first wife, I said, 'Honey, I never drive faster than I can see and besides, it's all in the reflexes'." Jack is introduced to us driving his truck, The Pork-Chop Express, and doling out advice on his radio, and this is also what he's doing the last time we see him. Although his friends take priority for him from time to time, Jack's motivation throughout the movie remains firmly in his desire to retrieve his stolen truck. After those moments when it seems like he's changed his tune he will mention his truck again in case someone gets the wrong idea. When Margot suggests that he's helping them because of his feelings for Gracie, he insists he only wants his truck back. When he and Wang are captured by the Lords of Death and facing David Lo Pan for the first time, he asks about his truck. At the very end, with everything resolved, Jack leaves his friends and heads off by himself, even denying the attention of Gracie, who he had been trying to impress since he first saw her in the airport. As well as this, those times when Jack voluntarily follows Wang (even though he's scared and doesn't understand what's going on) still feel in character for him, as we have seen him be the good friend from the beginning. It isn't here that his progression lies. The little of Jack's character progression that we see has less to do with his actions and motivations than his scepticism about the goings-on in the world of "Little China". The other white characters in the film, Margot and Gracie, both have an idea of who David Lo Pan is and what might be going on, but Jack needs everything explained to him and after it is, he is still disbelieving. Really, he doesn't want to believe, as all of the magic and old curses are too much for him. He just wants to get his truck and get out of there, "I'm a reasonable guy, but I've just experienced some very unreasonable things." When Lo Pan explains his curse and his reason for wanting Miao Yin, Jack makes fun of him and vocalises his scepticism, "You can go off and rule the universe from beyond the grave…Or check into a psycho ward, whichever comes first." It's only when Wang Chi explains the history and the curse to him that Jack starts to believe, "No horst shit, Wang?" After everything he's seen so far, Jack can't but begin to believe. Once he's flipped this switch in his brain, he is able to face all of the odd things he meets with the same unfounded bravado he's displayed thus far, like attempting to shoot the freaky flying eyeball thing, "Hey, you never know until you try." In his final moment with Wang, he is proud of what they've accomplished and salutes him with the gesture only Wang and his friends had been using throughout the film, "We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn't we, Wang?" "No horse shit, Jack." "No horse shit." Jack's worldview is shaken in the few days he spends with Wang, but he still only changes incrementally. His final scene in the Pork-Chop Express mirrors his first one, except now, having gone through what he's gone through, he has more of a right to be giving advice. As he talks the camera pans to the back of the truck where the hairy arm of one of the creatures from Lo Pan's dungeons reaches out menacingly letting us know that even if Jack Burton is finished with adventures, adventures aren't finished with Jack Burton. And now, with his final line, "Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right square in the eye and he says, 'Gimme your best shot pal, I can take it," we know he's ready for it. In terms of character progression Jack stays true to his nature and motivations but still manages to change enough along the way that he's not exactly the same person we met at the beginning. 4/10 for having your world-view completely altered and turning out okay in the end.

Lightning Round!

Because how could we do a deep dive into these characters and not look at their iconic looks.

Snake Plissken

Brown leather jacket. Black tank top. White and grey camoflage trousers. Knee-high black boots. Unexplained eye-patch. Magnificent mane of hair. Suggestive snake tattoo. Exceptional. 10/10 for practicality and commitment to the bit.

RJ MacReady

A hat so lame he's the coolest person in the room. RJ MacReady does not care about how he looks or what people think of him. 10/10 effortlessly cool.

Jack Burton

Double denim combo with a tank top plus shin-high mocassin boots and mullet. Iconic. 10/10.

Conclusion

In Escape From New York, Carpenter launched Russell from Disney star to cult action hero; a year later he pulled him into the horror genre and made him deal with The Thing. In Big Trouble in Little China, they took Russell's leading-man good-looks and charm and applied them to a bumbling sidekick. Together, the two men took the opportunity to stretch their creative legs and trusted each other to try new things. Such is the strength of their work together that they have remained firmly embedded in movie culture despite not having made a film together in almost 30 years. It may be a testament to their friendship that they haven't needed to.

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

forever thinking about how the long quiet embracing their full divinity involves The Voices coming back. like yeah being plural is basically the same thing as being a godi'll cosign that

[tumblingxelian]

A Necessary Post - Yang, Taiyang & Seeing Red

I debated this being a message or a note or a reblog, but ultimately this warranted an essay. Because a hatred of nuance is not even remotely the reason why Tai is critiqued as a teacher or father.

With that fact in mind, let's begin:

During RWBY Volume 4, Episode 9: Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back Taiyang has a great deal of critical feedback for Yang regarding her fighting style, personality & Semblance.

The issue is that Tai's words and advice when compared to what we saw on screen before & afterwards demonstrate he does not understand how it works or how she used it.

So here for your reading pleasure if a more or less line by line breakdown of Tai's advice and why I don't feel it holds up & more to the point, why I don't believe Yang utilized it.

Taiyang: Do you realize that you used your Semblance to win every fight after the qualifiers?

Yang rightfully points out that her using Burn is no different than anyone else using their Semblances. I would add that Yang's Semblance only serves to enhance her already present abilities with damage taken in a fight. So her not using it would be stupidly holding back extra energy for no reason.

Tai's critique also fails to register that when using her Semblance to take out FNKI, Yang specifically disrupted the ground so Neon could not skate effectively & used the boost in power to turn Flynt's own weapon against him.

I will be addressing Mercury further down but she used it effectively and intellectually here and to great effect.

What's more, every other fights fighting style, weapons or both were literally built around their Semblances. Yang's threat level remains fairly consistent without her Semblance, all three of these other characters take a huge dip.

Taiyang: Because not everyone else's is basically a temper tantrum.

Ignoring that calling the manifestation of Yang's soul a temper tantrum is another in a long line if dickish things Tai says to Yang. Her Semblance literally does not work that way.

Her anger has jack and shit to do with it, this has been explained & demonstrated time and time again. Yang only gets a power boost when she's been injured, the fact she tends to be angry when using it is because being hurt sucks and she's usually in an intense fight. When the fight is going well and she still gets to use it she's not angry, as seen with a pleased smirk here:

So as before, Tai's critique is bereft of any merit, Yang's Semblance does not work that way.

Taiyang: I'm serious! Once you take damage, you can dish it back twice as hard, but that doesn't make you invincible!

Cite a time Yang thought she was invincible, cite it provably that Yang thought, said or indicated that she felt she was invincible. You can't because Yang never indicated as such this is something Tai is assuming about her at best.

& no her jumping in the Nevermore's mouth is not an example because she was not using her Semblance, did not take damage, it was a very effective strategy & seemingly either part of the plan, or was so easily understood that it could be safely and reliably worked into the plan. She wasn't using her Semblance here but finding evidence of risky behavior was hard, especially with her Semblance, go figure.

In fact every time Yang used her Semblance she did so only because someone landed a blow, which just happens in fights sometimes.

Taiyang: It's great when you're in a bind, but what happens if you miss? What happens if they're stronger? What then? Now you're just weak and tired!

We know what happens when Yang misses, she can swing again!

After the first blow on the Paladin she missed & needed help to catch it, her missing had zero impact on her Semblances.

As to what happens if they are stronger, um, she loses, that sometimes happens in fights. Its not something Yang can do anything about by holding back on extra strength. Not to quote Qrow but sometimes bad things happen. Other characters losing to stronger opponents don't get given this kind of diatribe's because its pointedly obvious that there was nothing to be done about it.

& on the final piece, she was very pointedly not weak and tired after using it. The only times she has been shown to be is when she was extremely low on Aura regardless in which cases not using her Semblance is a death sentence.

So again, we've established Tai's critique comes from nowhere & his understanding of her Semblance is nonexistent.

Taiyang: But you gotta keep your emotions in check. Keep a level head, and think before you act. Your Semblance is a great fallback, but you can't let yourself rely on it.

This is so painfully unfair it hurts.

No other character gets this kind of shit for expressing emotions in combat. In fact we see characters expressing emotions in battle all the time. Nor has she stopped displaying emotions in combat:

I already outlined how in all two of the Yang fights Tai actually witnessed she used strategy and retained excellent combat form. So again, baseless claims from Tai.

What's more, Yang primarily does use her Semblance as a fallback rather than rely on it in these fights. She only whipped it out against Mercury when he'd unleashed his seeming kill move on her and was confident he'd won.

Not using it here would be dumb and make no sense.

Yang doesn't rely on it to save her, she deploys it when it makes sense to & she has the energy or the need. This is more than we see from many characters.

Taiyang: It won't always save you. Obviously.

So now he is critiquing her for a fight he didn't even witness & knows jack shit about. So let's break this down once again:

Yang has spent the last 24 hours questions her sanity.

Yang's new home (Her words) is burning down.

Yang's sister is missing in all this chaos.

Then Yang's partner gets fucking stabbed, and the guy who did it is standing between them with a sword & gun, with fire all over Grimm all around.

Anything Yang can do he can counter, she tries to go around he only has to pivot. If she tries to fire from long range she might hit Blake. She tries an earth shock wave, she launches Blake into the fire.

She quite literally had no others options & zero time to try anything else because he can just shoot or stab Blake whenever he wants.

Taiyang: You definitely have your mom's stubbornness.

This, this right here is where all this is actually coming from. Tai is once again projecting Raven onto Yang despite them frankly having almost nothing in common.

With most of Yang's visible personality tells being inherited from Summer, such as the mother daughter shoulder check of V9. Thanks to chittychittyyangyang for the GIFs

Or as outlined in some songs with Yang's side of the lyrics explicitly citing how she is trying to fill the Summer shaped void in their lives.

Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away.

Taiyang: Your mother was... a complicated woman. Like everybody, she had her faults, but those faults are what tore our team apart. And, it did a real number on our family.

Tai blames Raven for tearing their team apart. Save that by all accounts, barring her absence things seemed to be going fine. Qrow seemed to be present in their lives, Tai looked happy, the girls were happy & Summer at least seemed happy though we know she was covering up a lot of dread.

Keep in mind Tai is projecting Raven, the woman he blames for destroying the team and damaging the family onto his daughter who literally kept the family together after Summer died. Yang's established this, Ruby has established this, its canon.

Yang: I had to pick up the pieces. I had to keep things together. Alone. (pause) Weiss, if you have something to say, then say it. Ruby: If you thought we wouldn’t come for you, then you must’ve forgotten who raised me.

Tai was not the one holding that home or family together. Unless you think the writers are gonna randomly swerve & say both Yang & Ruby are big whiny liars for some utterly nonsensical reasons. So no, I don't take him seriously as a narrator or critique of Yang, I have no reason to.

But let's push on, because I'm not done.

Taiyang: You both act like the easiest way to tackle an obstacle is through it. (pointing at Zwei) That strength is all that matters in a fight.

Ah yes, Raven, the woman famously known for thinking the easiest way to deal with an obstacles is to tackle it head on. That's why she spent years adorning herself in a Grimm helmet that hid her eyes & raised a False Maiden to serve as her body double.

A woman so inclined to rely on her own raw strength that when she was ambushed by Salem's forces she decided to trick them into an ambush.

Then when fighting Cinder and was at a disadvantage she freezes her in place while making Cinder think she is going on the offensive leaving her to be crushed by Stalactites & also utilized mind games to distract her & deal the finishing blow... Cos she only relies on strength.

As to his final piece of advice I already address it up above, there was no way around Adam, the situation was fucked from the start.

Saying it was Yang's fault she was dismembered is no more than victim blaming, I stood by that in Volume 3 to to this day & beyond.

Taiyang: But if you just take a second look, then maybe you see... (walking toward her, stepping around Zwei) there's a way around as well.

But let's actually look at Seeing Red & if Yang listened to Tai's advice or if she not only ignored it but did the opposite of what he ordered.

Let's see she goes in with open aggression & emotions, and also takes many blows rather than going 'around' them somehow.

Yang, as if she were 'indestructible' outright tanks a massively charged up Aura beam for the purpose of increasing her strength.

Then burns through all of her Aura & Semblance energies delivering one direct blow, relying on it to save her & leaving her weak & tired.

Or in other words, she:

Yang didn't miss, but we know that isn't a real issue anyway.

Yang used her Semblance to 'win' the fight & very much did rely on it to save her.

Yang expressed anger & many other emotions in the battle & still continues to does so.

Yang willingly took huge risks that involved her being able to take tons of damage rather than go "Around" the problem.

Yang knew Adam was likely stronger given it was 2 V1 but relied on her Semblance to get her out of that bind and she was in fact left weak and tired.

This is also the first time she has done several of these things, or otherwise demonstrated these traits, such as being left weak and tired or willingly tanking big attacks rather than just being hit by surprise or due to being overwhelmed.

I don't take Tai's advice seriously because none of it was accurate or aligned with the Semblance we saw in action or had described to us.

I don't trust Tai's opinion on Yang because his take on her is explicitly informed by Raven & not the Yang we spent four & then five more volumes getting to know.

I don't take Tai's words over Yang's, Ruby's or what we see on screen because Tai is at best a secondary or minor character & a recurring theme in RWBY is the failure of older generations.

These failures are not just in the past but how they have been consistently failing the next generation as the story is being told. There is zero reason to think Tai is some magic exception to this narrative trend when much more well explored characters like Maria, Qrow, Ozpin, Ironwood, Raven, and hell, Summer Rose are not.

& that is my stance on that, thanks for tuning in!

[pearsandrust]

Hey, you know what's devastating? Jiaoqiu's first character story begins like this:

Rainsoar Lake, the Yaoqing. In the misty rain, yellow floating heart foliage and blossoms decorated the lake as frolicking fishes leaped out of the water from time to time. At this lakeside abounds with lotuses and water chestnuts, old turtles basking on the pebbles were an everyday sight.

It opens with such strong visual imagery that it's almost definitely foreshadowing, but it's not just that. The writers establish Jiaoqiu's life as beautiful and mundane in this paragraph, and Jiaoqiu himself as someone who "appreciates the small joys" of life.

The same ideology is reflected in his approach to medicine. Jiaoqiu believes that food is medicine, which might frequently be dismissed as too simplistic of an approach. But that's the way he lives -- he believes the truest things to life are not grand achievements or cutting-edge medicinal compounds, but rather the fundamental things that make us alive: food, nature, relaxation. It's a beautiful way to see the world.

The 'nine-square grid,' with its convenience and effectiveness in dispelling the cold that ails one's constitution, was specially made by me to provide succor to those on the battlefield.

Jiaoqiu's specialty was "warmth". He's a Fire character, he talks about hot pot a LOT, and his signature dish has "constitution-warming properties". But I say that his specialty was warmth because his time as a healer fundamentally changes his relationship with the matter.

We know that the Hunt's arrow brings with it a bone-chilling cold. In the context of his (and Feixiao's) story, this cold is symbolic. While warmth represents life and love and humanity and small wonders, coldness goes hand in hand with death. And for those who survive the Hunt's arrow, coldness means apathy; a life like a corpse.

The tragic thing about Jiaoqiu isn't that he becomes totally apathetic. The tragic thing is that the battlefield has fundamentally changed his relationship to "warmth". It's not that he doesn't want to return to his previous life. It's that he can't.

As oil from the chili bubbled, he picked up a herb from the cauldron to taste. When his already numbed sense of taste finally picked up on the spice, a jolt of current ran through him. He felt alive for the first time! It was a sensation that bordered on pain.

Jiaoqiu used to enjoy bland foods. His master explicitly states this in his Character Story Part IV; but now, he can't feel any of that simplistic, subtle warmth anymore. The only warmth he feels is spice. And that's an amazing metaphor for how the Aeon war has affected people in general. To stand on the battlefield and endure thousands and thousands of deaths, all for the purpose of a war that's bigger than you, bigger than your species, bigger than what you can imagine -- it puts you in this odd, detached, perspective. The only thing that really matters is life or death, win or loss -- who cares about blossoms or turtles or hot pot? What value does a life have besides the fact that it exists? In the grand code of the universe, isn't everyone just a 1 or a 0?

In essence, I think the core metaphor of Jiaoqiu's story is that warmth represents humanity, while spice represents detachment from it as a result of warfare. If there's nothing in your life except for conflict, then pain becomes the only thing that matters. Every victory has to be achieved through pain, and every achievement must be larger than the last. Jiaoqiu's taste in food becomes spicier and spicier, hurtling towards a self-destructive ending-- all for the chance of feeling alive again. Of feeling warm.

Hoyoverse actually makes a direct comparison between the concepts of "warmth" and "spice in his first and last character stories. In Jiaoqiu's first character story, he and his master have food together. Jiaoqiu makes some threadfin snapper, stating that:

We need only dip the slices in boiling water for two to three seconds.

In this story, the snapper is cooked in boiling water. Although bland, it would preserve the subtle qualities of the fish; the flavour of the meat itself, its texture, et cetera. It represents that same ideology of seeking "warmth"; of believing that the small, subtle details are what make life worth living.

His last character story is almost an exact parallel to the first, but instead of simple boiling water, it's a spicy broth. And instead of the broth gently boiling the snapper, this happens:

The elder picked up a slice of threadfin snapper, scalding it in the bubbling red broth.

It's incredible that the writers specifically chose to mention that the spicy broth scalds the fish here. It demonstrates the destructive lifestyle brought about by "spice" (and by extension, war); a lifestyle that cannot exist without destroying everything around it. The scalded fish will not retain its original flavour, its texture, or any of its other subtleties. "Spice" is not just a seasoning, but an act of destruction. Jiaoqiu eats spicy food because he has lost something, and continues to lose more of himself with every day he spends in the healer's tent.

To conclude, Jiaoqiu didn't fold under the pressure of the battlefield because he was weak, or naive, or overly emotional. It was because he was human. Likewise, the real consequence of his story isn't nihilism, but desperation; the desperation to hold onto that human part of himself as it slips away into the light of the Lux Arrow.

But honestly, I don't think he's doomed. At the end of 2.5, when Feixiao asks him how he's doing, he mentions that he can still hear the waves, and that's enough for him. It ties back to his time on the lake at the beginning of the story, enjoying the scenery, noticing the small things. It hints that there are still things he can love, things that he can hold onto without that undercurrent of pain.

I really, really hope he gets to be happy again.

[anti-transphobia]

Everyone posts about how Stardew Valley is a cozy LGBT+ inclusive game but NO ONE mentions the lack of a platonic option for the bachelors/bachelorettes. Which would be good for aspec people and also just more pleasant for many casual players I believe but that's not even the point. I just want to become best friends with everyone and not only does that require me dating everyone at once and feeling like a sleazebag because of it (ik the bad cutscene can be avoided but I know in my heart they'd be hurt if they knew) BUT it also means the women flirt with me!!!!! Constantly!!!!!!! It makes me sick to my stomach. Truly ruining the characters I liked

[wonder-worker]

"The feast of the Nativity of Saint John the Baptist being appointed as the day upon which the coronation of the king [Edward V] would take place without fail, all both hoped for and expected a season of prosperity for the kingdom."

— Excerpt from the Croyland Continuator / David Horspool, Richard III: A Ruler and Reputation

Even though Edward IV’s death was unexpected, after twelve years of peace there need not have been too much of a sense of foreboding about the succession. The great dynastic wound from which the Wars of the Roses had grown had not so much been healed as cauterized by the extinction of the House of Lancaster. There was no rush for London, as had happened in earlier, disputed successions. The royal party didn’t set out from Ludlow for ten days after hearing the news of Edward IV’s death, while Richard took his time, too. And the new king had [his mother the dowager queen and] two uncles to support him: his mother’s brother, the sophisticated, cultured, highly experienced Earl Rivers; and his father’s, the loyal and reliable Duke of Gloucester, to whom Edward IV had entrusted unprecedented power and vital military command.

... [Richard of Gloucester] had achieved his goal by a mixture of luck and ruthlessness, and if he made it appear, or even believed himself, that destiny played a part, this only made him a man in step with his times. Modern historians have no time for destiny, but sometimes the more ‘structuralist’ interpretations of the events surrounding the usurpation can come close to it. When we read that ‘the chances of preserving an unchallenged succession were . . . weakened by the estrangement of many of the rank-and-file nobility from . . . high politics, which was partly a consequence of the Wars of the Roses and partly of Edward IV’s own policies’, it is hard not to conclude that an unforeseeable turn of events is being recast as a predictable one. But without one overriding factor – the actions of Richard, Duke of Gloucester after he took the decision to make himself King Richard III – none of this could have happened. That is, when the same author concedes ‘Nor can we discount Richard’s own forceful character’, he is pitching it rather low*.

Edward IV had not left behind a factional fault line waiting to be shaken apart. Richard of Gloucester’s decision to usurp was a political earthquake that could not have been forecast on 9 April, when Edward died. After all, Simon Stallworth did not even anticipate it on 21 June, the day before Richard went public. We should be wary of allowing hindsight to give us more clairvoyance than the well-informed contemporary who had no idea ‘what schall happyne’. This is not to argue that Richard’s will alone allowed him to take the Crown. Clearly, the circumstances of a minority, the existence of powerful magnates with access to private forces, and the reasonably recent examples of resorts to violence and deposition of kings, made Richard’s path a more conceivable one. But Richard’s own tactics, his arrest of Rivers, Vaughan and Grey, the rounding up of Hastings and the bishops, relied on surprise. If men as close as these to the workings of high politics at a delicate juncture had no inkling of what might happen, the least historians can do is to reflect that uncertainty [...].

*The author who Horspool is referencing and disagreeing with is Charles Ross

[sunshine-jesse]

The Painful Realities of Andy and Leyley

Decay gave me a lot to chew on. While there was very little that caught me by surprise, per se (insofar as there’s a difference between shock and surprise), I didn't expect Nemlei to Go There with regards to some of the themes she covered in the newest update. I had a hunch, sure, but it was so (seemingly) out of place compared to the tone of the rest of the game that I didn't explore it as well as I could've. Most writers who cover the things Decay did don't play it dreadfully straight or treat it with so much respect. And even when they do, it often comes off as fetishized, which isn't bad per se, but so little of the rest of the game came off as The Author's Poorly Disguised Fetish that it was hard to take the prospect as seriously as I could've.

Effectively, Nemlei outplayed my media analysis skills by being an even better writer than I anticipated.

And so, I will respond in turn.

...or at least, I can try to.

I don't think I can type an analysis that is purely analytical anymore. Episode 3 hit me so much harder than anything that came before it that it's very difficult to write what I do with any sense of detachment. I can't pretend it didn't get personal. I love these characters. I love this story. I love the themes it covers. And I relate to many of them.

That's why seeing TCAL playing everything so dreadfully straight hurt so much.

(This essay is going to be somewhat narrativized to reflect my playing experience of Decay. This is a writing exercise as much as it is character analysis. But I also didn't have the patience to proofread this, so please be gentle.)

Part 1: The Games We Play With Ourselves

My first route was the Cliffhanger route. I want to pretend that I picked it because I knew it’d be the best outcome due to my unparalleled (insert ashley smug face here) understanding of the characters but I actually wasn’t expecting that one moment to be the big decision that caused the paths to diverge. It was just the only save file I had for Decay because it was the most hopeful outcome to me at the time. Because of that, when playing through Decay, everything felt so… business as usual. Things didn’t even feel as tense as they did in episode 2 when the paths diverged. This is, as a matter of fact, how I reacted for most of my first playthrough of the game. I didn’t see it as weird. It made sense. Nobody was really wrong here or making particularly bad decisions.

The only thing that caught me by surprise for the first half of it was when Andrew slapped Ashley, but I didn’t even feel like it was that shocking of a moment. Ashley has a chronic problem with taking things seriously, so I don’t think Andrew showing her what it means to take a threat of violence seriously is a particularly out of pocket response. However, it’s also not the only way to assert his identity as Andrew, because Burial showed us a better way for him to do the same: quiet dismissal with a confident assertion that ‘Andy’ is dead. Slapping her wasn’t the only way to get the point across, but it was -a- way, and I think it was important for Ashley to internalize it even though the slap was a simultaneous sign of strength AND weakness on Andrew’s end.

He didn’t need to play her game, but he did, and he managed to make it mean something.

The episode in general went through great lengths to show how unseriously Ashley takes her own actions. Which is a mood (she’s literally me, chat), for sure, but we’ve already seen that offhanded remarks by Ashley are enough to deeply sting Andrew.

This whole scene was an example of her not taking her own words seriously, by highlighting a dynamic we took for granted in prior episodes. Their endless back and forth is perceived as a harmless game by her. A lot of people perceived this dynamic as toxic back in prior chapters but it’s fairly common in long-term relationships. As someone who has a tendency of doing that myself- at least with friends- it makes social situations easier to navigate when I know that both of us are aware that the other person isn’t actually trying to hurt the other in a way that sticks. 

(I’m obviously not saying that their dynamic isn’t toxic, just that this one aspect of it is fairly normal and often taken uncharitably)

There are dozens upon dozens more examples than this but I assume that if I need to list them off to you then you haven’t actually played the game. I’m just listing this one because it’s useful for highlighting the way she views their dynamic.

Either way, Andrew isn’t having it this time, because he’s focusing harder on something he wanted from Ashley all along:

Respect.

Respect is a huge running theme in this episode, and the decision to accept being called Andrew or Andy is the make or break point for the route, and by proxy, their relationship. If Andrew decides to demand self-respect by asserting his identity as Andrew, then Ashley takes his request to not roast the camper seriously. But if he doesn’t demand to be called Andrew, then she does roast the camper. The implications of this decision are huge, but if you choose to be called Andy, he’s too much of a doormat at this point to show why it’s so important.

Accepting being called Andy gives Ashley permission to double down on all the worst aspects of their dynamic. There’s a lot to say about how Andrew reacts to this, but most of it is retreading old ground, because he’s made his issues with this and what it means to him abundantly clear already. What’s more interesting- to me- is how Ashley reacts. When Andrew reacts to “Why do you think it’s okay to hurt me?”, Ashley responds with… confusion.

"(It's) fine to stomp over every boundary I've ever set, isn't it?"

"I- uh...... wouldn't know."

She doesn’t get it. She genuinely doesn’t get it. She does not understand boundaries, flat-out. She has very few of her own, and therefore doesn’t see them in other people. Even when Andrew expressed boundaries to her in his past- the few times it actually happened- he quickly lowered them, never teaching her what they actually mean. While we don’t know for absolute certain because of how few flashbacks we’ve seen from her perspective, it seems like she’s never been held to account for transgressing a boundary.

Even when she’s slapped in the face, she doesn’t quite understand that it’s Andrew setting a boundary and showing self-respect. We see this later on with the argument she has with Andrew later in the episode:

"...............I stopped calling you Andy."

"Ooooh! Hallelujah! She hasn't called me by the wrong name for a few days! Mercy me, do I stand corrected! This must be love! And not just any love, but true love of the highest caliber!"

She thinks it’s just doing him a favor. She’s not respecting his boundaries at all. It’s something she’s GIVING to him.

With Ashley’s general inability to take things seriously in mind, and her lack of understanding of boundaries, I think there’s one more piece of the puzzle I need to explore before I can explain why I think things I really went to shit:

HOT

SIBLING

BREEDING!!!

Coffin is, still, even with Decay in mind, not making a statement on whether or not incest is good or bad. I can say that with full confidence. It's going further than that: it's using their incestuous relationship to highlight the ways in which the siblings interface with sexuality. Their more romantic, intimate moments are still portrayed as cute, and something that makes both of them happy. Physical affection stabilizes their relationship, and is something the two of them need to feel like things are okay. It doesn't hurt them.

...to a point.

Because she sure as fuck isn’t showing that it’s good, either.

In the Shoot/Dead End route (I'll be referring to this route as 3B from here on, and the cliffhanger route as 3A), their incestuous tendencies are unambiguously portrayed as a negative thing. Everything they do together makes one or both of them uncomfortable, unlike almost every other instance we see in every other route. But why? What's the difference between 3A and 3B?

Let's compare the scenes of intimacy between 3A and 3B:

In 3A, Andrew was slow, patient, and gentle, resulting in something that both Ashley and him enjoyed. They cracked a laugh, hugged each other, very cute, wholesome, and not at all weird if you don't look at the shared genetics behind the curtain.

But in 3B, he was sudden and forceful, resulting in something Ashley didn't enjoy. She tries to reciprocate but he pulls away shortly after, supposedly because she's not good at kissing, and also because he still feels gross about actually enjoying a sexual encounter with his little sister. Her reaction to this was visible confusion.

I want to establish my takes on these scenes now because I’m going to draw attention to them later on.

So, let’s recap:

Ashley doesn’t take things seriously enough. She doesn’t understand personal boundaries. She attempts to reciprocate affections and act with visible confusion when it’s rejected. What does this mean? I want everyone to hear me out on this before they respond with ‘well, no fucking shit Sherlock’, because this little fact about Ashley’s character goes far deeper and is more wide-reaching than many might think, at least given the kinds of analysis I see on this game:

Ashley treats life like a game. 

And I don’t mean that as a heavy-handed metaphor for her thinking everyone needs to be played and manipulated and that she has very little personal investment in anything that goes on. I mean she actually, literally, treats life like a game. Let me highlight something from the Q&A so I can explain just how important this really is:

“She doesn’t want to grow up”

“her fantasy of Andy and Leyley.”

When she calls Andrew Andy as a teenager:

"It's supposed to be endearing!! It's our secret game! I thought you liked that kind of thing."

You see where I’m going with this? Her whole dynamic with Andrew is part of that ‘secret game’ to her. It’s something she takes seriously, unlike everything else in life. Every deviation from it is merely doing him a favor. She’s allowing him to break the rules, if only temporarily. She doesn’t take many things seriously because she can’t emotionally grasp the significance of it. In her mind, she’s still a child. And for much of the story, no matter the route, she’s still playing that game with Andrew, no matter what’s at stake.

Ribbing at each other? Part of the game.

Their mutual displays of affection? Part of the game.

But boundaries? Those weren’t part of the rules.

This is why Ashley is so confused and distressed when none of ‘her’ games work on Andrew anymore.

The rules have changed. And she doesn’t understand them anymore.

Here lies the core differences between the routes in Decay. In 3A, Andrew is still willing to play that game with her. 

Just like in real life,

Just like with his peers, with his mom, with Julia,

Andrew knows how to pretend to play Ashley’s game.

He’s not quite aware it’s a game in the same ways as her, but he does know the sets of behaviors he can use to calm Ashley down. And as shown with the Entity, he’s extremely good at negotiating rules even when he’s not aware there’s a game at play. But he still doesn’t understand it as a game, and that’s where many of his frustrations come from (not to say Ashley is fully aware it’s a game either, but he’s even less aware than she is). Ashley doesn’t listen to him as often as he’d like because he’s not fully aware of the rules she expects them to operate under. Or perhaps, more accurately, not aware of what he has to do to change the rules rather than just create exceptions.

I don’t exactly know either, but I think it has something to do with how much gifts mean to Ashley. Keep in mind that all it takes is a wedding ring to avert the double suicide ending.

I think this proclivity for engaging with life as if it was a game might be why Ashley is said to be in-tune with the Demon Realm and enjoy their puzzles so much: everything has clear rules and conditions for winning or losing. Agreements are ironclad, and a deal is a deal. It’s a series of easy and somewhat predictable input->output mechanisms, as long as she’s precise with her desires. While the Entity is clearly manipulating her in some way, it’s yet to do so through lies, and she has been shown no reason to believe that it ever lies, outside of when it tells her highly emotionally inconvenient information.

(If your eyebrow rose when reading that, mine rose while typing it too, but I’m not here to diagnose anyone because that makes analysis less interesting and I literally wrote the essay on why people shouldn’t do that)

One detail I want to point out before tying this all back together is that games are something Ashley has appreciated from the absolute youngest we’ve ever seen her, before either of them did anything wrong: The flashback where they visited the grandparents. Andrew turning his pursuit of Ashley into a game was shown to instantly get her to behave better, as it’s given her clear and obvious rules to adhere to, and conditions to get something she wants, no strings attached. I wanted to point this out so I could establish that this is how she’s always been and not a pattern she fell into, because I need to emphasize just how pervasive games are to how Ashley interfaces with the world.

With Andrew, her ‘secret game’ becomes something different. 

Tying back into my first essay, the ‘games’ she plays are the framework with which she uses to feel in control of Andrew. They’re what her entire sense of safety is predicated on, and without the rules and reciprocal ‘play’ that comes with games, she loses any sense of emotional stability and becomes extremely volatile, confrontational, and sometimes violent. She’s not one who can function without an understanding of what’s going on, which is precisely why she lacks foresight and operates on intuition.

It’s not like she’s not trying, right? I’d like to present the scene where Andrew calls Julia with Ashley on the line.

At first, Ashley loses her shit and just barely manages to keep herself together. It really seems like an act of wanton cruelty on Andrew’s part, but it’s important to note that you get a star for this scene. You don’t get stars for scenes where their relationship deteriorates. So why do you get a star? She initially appeared upset, but the moment Andrew reframed it, her expression flipped, and she immediately became happy.

"So she can behave. Somewhat."

"Hmph! You dared to doubt me? Shame on you! Despite your underhanded bullshit, I emerge victorious!"

Andrew had to stop Ashley from yelling, and from hanging up, but Ashley managed to quiet down and stabilize herself enough to not loudly explode and get violent and uncontrollable.

And outside of where they were forced to be separated either to solve a puzzle or at the whims of the Entity, Andrew led her through every challenge they faced and she didn’t spend the whole time questioning his ability.

Why do you think we play as Andrew for the vast majority of the episode, even when they’re together?

She trusts his judgement more, even if she can’t quite understand (or at least vocalize) why. There’s a reason she roasts the camper in every route where this one interaction isn’t possible: Her desire to gain strength from eating people supersedes her trust in Andrew’s ability to handle difficult situations. She has to gain enough power for the both of them, or they’re fucked. But if Andrew has the strength to assert his identity as Andrew, maybe she doesn’t need to do all the heavy lifting.

(This is why I believe the star scenes are what they are. They’re not required to improve their relationship, but they ARE required for the necessary context to show why “the future” (as stated by the Entity in the Vision Room when he mentions them) is what it is.)

For a large part of the rest of the episode, we see a lot of smaller moments like this, where Ashley is at least trying to reach some kind of mutual understanding with Andrew and Andrew is trying to convey his actual feelings to Ashley, but the two of them keep speaking past each other because they simply do not understand the language that the other speaks. But what’s important is that their relationship manages to not deteriorate, and despite the vicious fighting, they still express a desire to understand the other when left to their own devices. By this point, I was feeling vindicated, as a lot of my initial analyses that were incredibly charitable to both siblings seemed to be at least somewhat correct and that I was right to give them the benefit of the d-....

Part 2: The Lies We Tell Ourselves

...-id Andrew just kill a fucking child in cold blood?!

I want to draw attention to the wording I used to describe how Ashley treats life as a game. I said she treats it as a game, not necessarily inexorably understands it as such. This is not a tendency she had no choice but to manifest; outside of being part of the way she manifests the Andy and Leyley fantasy, it’s also an emotional regulation tool that simplifies her interactions with the world. I want to specify this because I feel like, if I don’t, it might paint a picture of her being a helpless victim in a world that treats her poorly. Nor that growing up would solve her problems, and that she has no agency because she had no choice but to be this way. While I would never deny her nor Andrew victimhood of each other and the world around them, I also don’t want to confuse people into thinking that I don’t think they could’ve done better, and that I shouldn’t expect them to. Because the more I played through the game- and after finishing it, the more I thought about it- it became clearer and clearer that they could, because Andrew…

Holy shit, Andrew. Talk about dropping the pretense.

When the parents were sacrificed, Andrew- and his life- could never be normal again. The man realized that too, because nothing Ashley suggested registered as objectionable anymore. He offered so little resistance to killing the campers that it didn’t even sink in what kind of action that was. He was never much of a moral conscience to begin with, but from that point on, he stopped trying.

"Aaah, you know I can't say no to a family value pack."

Oh, Andrew, you wretched little shit. I get it now.

The thing about Andrew that I didn’t quite get last time is just how loose his grasp on the idea of normalcy actually was. It seemed like a central facet of his character and something he desperately wanted to hold on to at all costs, but now it looks much, much different. It wasn’t something he wanted to convince himself was true much past his teenage years, but the moment hormones started setting in, he made almost no effort to come to terms with his sexual desires. He made no attempt to distance himself from Ashley, to not project his fantasy on to Julia, or even to not peep at his sister in the shower.

‘Normal�� wasn’t something he wanted to be. It was a role he wanted to play.

At every chance he got, he fed into his darkest desires like an addict, and projected those fantasies on to Julia. He didn’t even bother trying to make space between him and Ashley; no, she had to do it for him, because she was mad at him. And the best part is, it wasn’t even good for him. 

As much as he tried to lie to himself, what he really wanted is to lie to others. Not once did he try to change himself in accordance with the person he wanted to be, and especially what others wanted him to be. Not once did he self-reflect about what he really wanted, or what would be best for him, or even Ashley, for that matter. He just wanted other people to shut up. Andrew was not a victim of his own impulses and desires. I really feel the need to emphasize just how messed up this man is; Without Ashley taking an active role in his life, he didn’t get better. He filled in the gaps in his heart by choosing to be worse.

Nemlei took subtext, turned it into text, and then turned that text into a baseball bat that she used to crack our skulls over and over again. He was never the ‘good person’ in their relationship, and never once tried to be.

And the worst part is that I fully understand and empathize with why.

There’s a funny thing that sometimes happens when you have impossible standards piled on to you and enforced through abuse and you’re denied a chance to ever be your own person: You fail to develop a coherent sense of identity. You latch on to anything that ‘seems’ right and predicate your whole sense of self on it. You need this sense of identity to navigate the world, so anything that threatens it is a threat to everything you know, and you respond to it in turn. Everything you do outside of that one core idea (or several ideas) becomes an act, a puppet show you play to placate others and serve your own ends. You can’t afford empathy or understanding to ‘threats’, because you’re too busy trying to protect what you ‘know’ you are. A threat to your world is a threat to your life, and so you respond by desperately doing whatever it takes to remove that threat. Sometimes lies, sometimes violence, of varying degrees of intensity depending on the threat.

Sometimes you learn to shut your feelings off.

Sometimes you learn to react too strongly.

Sometimes you learn that nobody else matters, because everyone else will just hurt you anyway.

You devalue people. You overvalue people. 

Anything to feel safe, anything to feel like the outside world is less of a threat. Anything to remove that threat, manage that threat, or protect the only thing in the world that matters to you, whether that thing is yourself, or someone else.

And for Andrew? It’s said to us in the beginning of episode 3:

Andy’s Leyley

Leyley’s Andy

Yeah, Nemlei. I get it. You understand. 

There’s another side to this coin, but I’ll get to that.

Not that this happens to everyone, but it absolutely happened to Andrew. The ‘role’ he was had forced upon him was that of Leyley’s _____. Her protector, teacher, parent, general caretaker. Her emotional regulator. Her brother.

Her everything.

It was all he could be. All he was allowed to be. Because the moment he diverged, he was punished greatly by Renee, and at some point, Ashley herself. He predicated his entire value system on being her ‘Andy’, to the point where every action he took that wasn’t part of the act he put on to attempt to interface with the world normally became for her.

It was all for her, because he was her _____. Anything to keep her under control, anything to keep her safe. 

One of the most notable examples of this is shown when Lord Unknown was attempting to give him therapy. When he started hearing how people spread rumors about how he slept with Ashley, and Douchebag told him that the people in Ashley’s class said that she spread them, he just glossed over this fact. So little attention is drawn to it that I actually missed it on my first playthrough. Instead, the first thing Andrew expressed internally was concern over whether or not she was being bullied; it didn’t even register in his mind that she was responsible for smearing his reputation. 

To him, she was never responsible for anything. She was his responsibility above all else. The incestuous rumors hardly mattered to him, and he kept finding holes in the story and pointing them out, such as how she didn’t have time to spread them early (since we saw them enter school together) in the day because she stood Douchebag up on a Friday, and how there was no way to catch them behind the auditorium ‘yesterday’ given it was a Monday. The presence of those holes is why I’m skeptical of whether or not she actually spread them, but it’s not like it’s something she wouldn’t do. More on that later.

Above all else, Andrew wasn’t concerned about how people saw him; he hardly even cared. He was upset mostly about people thinking that he’d take advantage of Ashley in that way. There was nothing weird to him about how clingy they were to each other, how affectionate they were, how protective he was.

Of course he was all that. Andrew was her brother. It was his job to be all that. It was his job to be her _____.

I’d like to present an alternate theory to the idea that Andrew dated Julia to appear normal. The theory isn’t mutually compatible with that, but it feels woefully incomplete.  Given the focus on bullying, the anger had over the idea that he’d ever hurt her, and the fact that sexual feelings started creeping in his mind thanks to the magical curse of teenage hormones, I believe the primary reason he dated Julia was so that he could prove to others- and himself- that he would never hurt his precious Ashley. Not in that way, not at all. It was everything he predicated his sense of identity on. It was what he had to be, above all else.

So in order to protect his ‘role’, his identity, he chose something he, deep down, knew would hurt her, because nobody could ever be led to believe that he’d take advantage of her like that.

Especially himself.

Appearing normal to others was a pleasant side-effect of this, and if he could convince himself he loved Julia, he’d never have to add ‘boyfriend’ to the list of things he had to be for Ashley.

Hahahaha, whoops. 

Surprise! It was the thing he actually wanted to be for her the most! 

Teenage hormones are an awful thing, aren’t they? In realizing that he had sexual feelings for Ashley, he finally found something he’d actually enjoy being for her! 

And it was something he could never be, lest it risk everything else he thought of himself as being for her!

Oh, the wretched irony of sexual desire. I could never.

Which way, western man? Everything you think you should be, or the one thing you actually want to be?

Andrew tries to have it both ways, but, y’know how that went. No attempt to rein in these desires, projecting his sister on his girlfriend, etc etc. Already been over that. But now I can highlight why I believe he got worse and kept feeding into his desires; the closest thing to a moral conscience he had- his identity as Leyley’s _____- takes a step out of his life for reasons I’ll cover when I cover how much of a fuck up she actually is. 

What, you thought I’d skip over her just because I was- and still am- her number one defender? Oh no no. Now that I know better than to give these losers (that I love very dearly and desire nothing but happiness for) so much charitability, I have a lot to say about her too. But back to Andrew.

Without that sense of personal identity- without his proximity to Ashley- he sees no reason not to give into his desires, watch her while she dresses, and project all of his most sexual fantasies on to Julia. His interactions with Ashley were, as fucked up as it is, grounding to him. They stabilize him, give him a reason to act right that isn’t just a facade. With that, he has nothing. Nothing except his facade of normalcy.

I think the year-long gap between his interactions with Ashley are precisely the reason why ‘normalcy’ became so important to him. It became a second sense of identity that conflicted with what he predicated his identity on before. He could finally emulate being a somewhat normal person, with a somewhat normal attachment to a somewhat normal person. Horray! But the prior identity still existed. It never went away. Ashley was where his heart was, and trying to give it to someone else only hollowed out what was there before.

This one CG speaks louder than any words the man has ever spoken, up to this point.

These are not the eyes of someone who is merely depressed. These are the eyes of someone who is confronting the idea of living a life without the only thing that ever gave him meaning.

He can’t even make eye contact with himself, because there’s nothing there.

Andrew, without Ashley, is a hollow husk of a man who starts to crumble the more he tries to convince himself he could be anything other than her everything.

She is the light of his life. The nightmarish, toxic, corrosive light of his life.

(cont. in next post)

[primadonnabish]

An analysis on Celine and Gwi-Ma from Kpop Demon Hunters, *spoilers ahead:

one thing I thought was interesting when watching the movie was how Celine & Gwi-Ma kind of represent how these big kpop companies hurt their artists and in some cases thrive off of their struggles. With Celine and Huntrix, Rumi specifically, Celine constantly pressured Rumi to never shown her true self, to hide a part of her identity because it was wrong and shameful. Celine says she loved Rumi, but Rumi was 100% right, Celine doesn’t truly love her because she refuses to love a part of her that is important to who she is.By putting all that pressure on Rumi to hide herself it causes Rumi to become stressed and insecure which then also causes Zoey and Mira to become self-conscious and stressed over their own insecurities and worries. Which causes more stress by forcing them to always have this impossible supposedly unbreakable image of good and perfection. Moving on to Gwi-Ma and the Saja Boys and all the demons in general, it has been confirmed that not all these demons are evil and are actually just suffering under Gwi-ma’s rule, many of them victims of Gwi-Ma tricking them into giving up their souls in order to make them his servants which he tortures by constantly reminding them of their greatest regrets and failures. We basically got someone with great power who mistreats and sometimes theives off of the negativity and hate given to their workers over mistakes that any human can make (because all humans make mistakes big and small), doesn’t that sound familiar? Cough (SM can go fck itself for the way it mistreated its artists, Hybe as well, and many other companies) cough cough (still love kpop though but only for the artists not for their trash companies). Overall, I really think it’s interesting how Celine & Gwi-ma are on completely far opposite sides of Hunters vs demons and yet are parallels and are quite similar in how they hurt the people around them. Not to mention how Celine & Gwi-Ma can quite clearly be read as kpop companies who forget that their working artists are human beings and often mistreat them or put insane amounts of stress and pressure on them. And I really do hope there is an actual Sequel to Kpop Demon Hunters because we left things unresolved between Rumi & Celine. Not to mention Gwi-Ma did seem a little easily defeated and he’s not actually dead but just sealed away back in the underworld so he can easily come back. Plus we seriously can’t skip over Rumi being half demon born from a Huntress and a Demon falling in love, especially since that is Her & Jinu’s story as well. Please Netflix and Maggie Kang I’ll take a sequel movie or even a series that last 1-2 seasons.

[enderlovez]

Oooooo I have a Spencer x germaphobe reader where everyone knows how Spencer is with germs, which isn’t that bad. But imagine everyone’s surprise when they find out he has a huge crush like I mean in love with their coworker who is an extreme germaphobe (think of Ms, Pillsbury from glee) so she’s extra clean but he doesn’t mind he only has eyes on her so he tries to help her while also helping himself and she already has a crush on him but thinks he sees her as a patient in a lab even when he doesn’t but their feelings come to surface and they get a lil dirty lol angst, smut, and fluff thank u❤️

Germaphobe, Too

Spencer Reid x Female Germaphobe Reader WORD COUNT: 3600+ (yeah I got a little carried away)

Summary: You hate germs more than anything else in the world, and Spencer is so very much in love with you, so he's always trying to help you in any way he can — little does he know, that maybe you're feelings about the situation are a little bit different.

Content Warning: reader shows traits of obsessive compulsive disorder, germaphobia and germs, probably misinformation about germaphobia, NSFW content, reader is a freak, dry humping, reader bites Spencer a few times, miscommunication, Spencer likes boobs, groping, nipple play (sort of), unprotected vaginal sex (wrap it before you tap it), virginity loss on both ends, Spencer doesn't pull out, and I think that's it!

A/N I've never actually watched Glee so I went on a bit of a search-spree to try and find out how I would write this, so I hope I did it justice! Also, thank you so much for being the first person in my inbox, you have no idea how excited I was when this popped up, and I hope I did your idea justice!

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From the moment you joined the Behavioral Analysis Unit, everyone knew you were different — from the way you open doors with your sleeves rather than your bare hands, to how you scrub your hands raw after touching something that's not even really that dirty.

And it's not necessarily a bad thing that you're so conscious of these things, it can just be a little... difficult to navigate sometimes.

Take that one time for example, when you were helping out on a case! Morgan had no writing utensils on him, so without thinking, plucked a pen from the breast pocket of your blouse. To anyone else, it might not have seemed like such a big deal, but you were close to tears.

To put it plainly, you are a germaphobe. You're like a female version of their very own Doctor Spencer Reid, but on steroids, and somehow still a whole lot more sociable despite this fact!

Seriously. It's not to say they don't still see you as the strange new girl doing 'strange-new-girl' things, nor is it to say they don't frequently talk about you when you're not around, but they think you might just be the sweetest human being to ever grace the BAU.

Which is why it really shouldn't have seemed like such a secret, shouldn't have shocked everyone as much as it did, that Spencer was absolutely and irreversibly smitten with you.

At first, it was just little things like watching you from across the room with this strange look on his face — he was just watching the strange new girl doing 'strange-new-girl' things!

When he started spending more time around you than anybody else at work, and when it became apparent that he preferred your quiet company, it was just because you showed some similar traits to him, right? Nobody thought anything different, because come on, this is Spencer we're talking about here.

But in truth, Spencer is beyond mesmerized by you, the most beautiful woman he's ever met, and so kind to everyone even though they clearly treat you different to your other coworkers.

The poor man doesn't think he could ever admit this to you, though, considering he's a blabbering mess of hot skin and stutters every time he talks to you. So instead of further embarrassing himself (and giving Morgan ammunition to tease him for the rest of eternity), he shows his affection towards you in other ways.

Spencer himself is not a big fan of germs, so he can understand, to an extent, how you must feel most of the time. You've explained it to him before, while he was standing beside you at your desk, watching as you wiped the surface down with an antibacterial wipe.

"I know it probably seems like I overreact, but it's not something I can just turn off," you'd said to him in a whisper once. "I don't do this because I want to annoy people or make life harder. It's just... if I don't, I feel like I'll unravel."

────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────

Sometimes it feels like the world is too loud. A stranger is screaming in your ear, you can't see them or touch them, but they're there; there's a bee buzzing in front of your face, but you can't swat it away.

How are you supposed to get rid of something you can't see?

You can't — it's as simple as that, but you can try you're very best.

As if sensing that your thoughts are headed somewhere unsavory, Spencer appears beside you on a rolling chair, as he does most days.

Out of all your coworkers, he's the only one that doesn't poke fun at you behind your back. That's how it's been your whole life, people testing your boundaries and teasing you for something you have no control over, so it's... a nice change of pace.

"Good morning, Spencer," you say softly, offering him a warm smile before turning back to your work. "How are you today?"

"Good—um, good morning," he responds awkwardly, smiling even though you're not looking at him anymore. You see it out of the corner of your eye, his little smile and his firetruck-red face, smiling faintly to yourself as you type away on your laptop.

You ignore how he completely dismisses your question, knowing he'd probably just say the same thing as always — 'Yeah, I'm doing great, thank you. As—as long as you're doing alright.'

He always gets so strange around you, and while you try your best to ignore it most of the time, it still irks you.

No, he doesn't join the teasing with Morgan and Jareau when they think you can't hear them, but he still treats you differently.

"I got you something," he says in a quiet voice, reaching into his bag and pulling out a book. You eye him nervously as he carefully places it onto your desk, using one finger to push it towards you. A tiny smile pulls at your cheeks when you see it's encased in a protective plastic film, but it quickly drops when you see what the actual book is.

'Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: A Journey to Recovery' by David Veale and Rob Willson.

You peel the plastic away, tossing it into the little trash can under your desk and sanitizing your hands before picking up the bright yellow book, opening the front cover with a blank expression.

It's not like you aren't grateful he's trying to help, of course you're happy he cares so much. But a book isn't going to fix your problems, despite what he may think at times. And right now he doesn't feel like a friend, he feels like a doctor, and you feel like a patient laying on a lab table, vulnerable and stripped bare for the world to see.

For once, you just want to have a normal conversation without it turning into some kind of therapy session.

"Thank you, Spencer — um..." You voice shakes ever-so-slightly as you put the eyesore book in your bag. "I will be reading that tonight, that was very kind of you."

You know you'll probably put that book in a box and never look at it again. He doesn't seem to pick up on your unease, smile widening at your apparent acceptance of his gift.

"Actually," you continue softly, in a voice so quiet it's almost silent, head bowed forward, "I'm actually not feeling too well right now, think I might head home for the day."

The smile on his face falters slightly as you push away from your desk and stand up, packing your things away into your backpack. "Is everything — would you like me to drive you home?"

It's not unusual for your mind to trick you into thinking you actually are sick, but on the off chance that you really are feeling something, he doesn't think it's a good idea for you to drive yourself home.

"You know, about twenty-one percent of fatal car crashes involve tired or impaired drivers."

"I'll be fine," you reply blandly, though those statistics do alarm you mildly, stepping around him and walking in the direction of Hotch's office. "Thank you, though, Spencer."

As you disappear into the Unit Chief's office, Morgan give him this curious look from across the room, eyebrow cocked in question, but all Spencer can do is shrug, his own face twisted with confusion.

Usually when you get like this, there's some kind of trigger that sets you off, like a chain reaction of sorts, but right now, he can't for the life of him come up with something that might've set you off.

You're only in the office for thirty-seven seconds (Spencer was counting) before you reemerge, your head still bowed as you rush out of the bullpen, like there's something chasing you away.

"What'd you do to get Miss Sunshine all blue and teary-eyed?" Morgan asks mockingly when you're out of earshot. "She looks like you just kicked a fluffy little kitten in front of her!"

────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────

Spencer's never been to your apartment before — nobody on the team has, the only reason he's standing here now is because your address is on your information.

It feels a bit like an invasion of your privacy being here when he's not even supposed to know where you live, but Morgan was right. You did look like Spencer smushed a kitten under his shoe as you were leaving, and he couldn't in good conscience not check on you.

He reaches a tentative hand up, hesitating for a (very) brief moment before knocking thrice.

There's some muffled shuffling behind the door before it opens, revealing you, wearing a cream colored cardigan with delicately embroidered flowers on it. And while you're still neatly put together, there's a more casual air about you now, like you're more relaxed.

"Oh — Spencer, what're you doing here?"

Your voice rasps slightly, and when he takes a closer look at your face, Spencer finds that your eyes are a little red.

"I was just..." He pauses, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You seemed upset when you were leaving work."

You purse your lips and give him as once-over, then shift out of the doorway — inviting him inside? You close the door behind him once he's inside, guiding him towards the living room with a gentle hand on his back.

It's shocking, to say the least, that you're actually touching him right now, but he doesn't say a word.

"Would you — um — like some tea, or something?" you ask awkwardly, pushing him to sit on the sofa. "Or — or some water?"

"No, but thank you for offering."

You leave the room for a few minutes, presumably to make yourself something to drink, but come back with two steaming mugs, placing one in front of Spencer regardless of what he said.

Another couple of minutes pass where neither of you say anything, sipping on tea and glancing at each other every now and again. He's pleasantly surprised to find that you've used lavender tea.

Your apartment is very clean, looking more like a set you'd find at a department store than anything, but it's still so warm and inviting. You have a couple of candles lit around the place, and Spencer's fighting the urge to warn you about candle safety.

"I don't want you to try and fix me."

Spencer turns his head away from the tall bookshelf across the room to look at you, eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

Fix you. What do you mean, he's trying to fix you?

"The book," you reply meekly, "I don't want you to try and fix me."

That catches his attention, the emphasis on that one little word — it's not that you don't want anyone to help, you just don't want him to help.

You must see the flash of hurt cross his expression, because you're rushing to elaborate, stumbling over your words.

"It's just that — um — I really like you, Spencer, and — uh — when you're giving me stuff like this..." You gesture to the coffee table, where the yellow book he'd given you is sitting. "I don't know, you kind of make me feel like I'm a patient in a lab. Something to be studied and prodded at and — and fixed."

"There's nothing about you that needs to be fixed," he murmurs, trying his best to ignore what you said — 'I really like you, Spencer.'

You place your half-empty mug of tea onto the coffee table and pull your feet up onto the couch, wrapping your arms around them.

"I wasn't trying to fix you — everything about you is perfect," he says, quiet and without thinking. "You just seemed so uncomfortable at work all the time, and I wanted to help you out."

"Why, though?" you ask sadly, a faint heat rising to your cheeks. "Why not just join in on all the teasing and mockery? It would be easier than dealing with me all the time."

"Because..." You raise an eyebrow at his entire face quite literally turns the same shade as a tomato. "Because I really like you, too. I didn't think about how it might come off, and I'm so, so sorry for—"

You hold up a hand to shut him up, leaning a little further towards him than he would have thought you'd like.

"Spencer, it's alright," you assure him, placing your hand on his knee, much to his surprise (and embarrassment). "You didn't need to worry, though — you're really the only person at work I spend much time around, and I'm not uncomfortable around you."

"You're... not?"

A soft smile graces your lips. "Not even a little bit. Not even at all."

Spencer deflates into himself, every inch of his his skin uncomfortably hot — this is news to him.

"That's a relief."

Your voice takes on a teasing lilt. "Why? Because you really like me?"

And just like that, his face gets infinitely hotter, but he gives you the tiniest nod, knowing that if he said anything, he would fumble.

"I don't understand why you're embarrassed," you whisper fondly, "I am the one who said it first, after all. You should be teasing me."

He might be the only one you'll accept it from, just like how he's the only person you'd ever accept physical contact with, the only person you'll ever trust enough to put your mouth near him, like right now."

Spencer has to restrain himself from physically recoiling in shock when you press the softest of kisses to his blazing cheek.

Your instincts are screaming on the inside, but if you're being honest, you couldn't care less.

This isn't a stranger, you assure yourself, this is Spencer, and he could never make you sick.

Spencer could never make you sick.

"Is this alright?" you ask as you press another slightly firmer kiss to the skin under his jaw, your voice dripping with something unfamiliar.

Unable to form a single word, Spencer nods, reaching to place a hand on the back of your neck, gasping when your teeth nipped at the sensitive skin.

It's a complete one-eighty from the shy, germ-conscious girl you usually are, but he can't find it in him to complain.

The girl of his dreams, the one who can't even bring herself to touch his hand at work, currently has her mouth on him, she's biting him, and his mind is in a frenzy.

"I'm not gonna freak out if you touch me, Spence," you tease lightly, lips fluttering over the space just beside his mouth. As if to prove your point, smirking against his skin, you take his hand in yours and settle it on the space just below your breasts — under your clothes.

Where you're not wearing a bra.

His mind reels and melts into goo at the feel of your bare skin against his hand, so soft and warm.

An embarrassingly loud whine escapes his mouth as you bite down on his neck again, sucking the skin into your mouth. His hand drifts slightly upwards, brushing against the supple skin of your breast and gently grabbing onto it.

Your breath hitches as he gropes at your chest, lips pulling off his neck with a little pop and head resting against his shoulder.

"Can I take your shirt off?"

Your question leaves him speechless, but he nods nonetheless, reluctantly letting go of you to help you get his shirt over his head.

The sigh of his bare chest has your mouth watering, and you want nothing more than to leave a trail of hickeys down his stomach, but first, you press your lips to his, hands threading through his hair.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs into your mouth, hands resting on your hips as you grind down onto him. "Absolutely breathtaking."

You tuck your head into the crook of his neck, whimpering as your hips wildly buck down on him. You've never been like this, desperate for the touch of another person, let alone a touch so intimate.

Spencer's grip on you tightens some, and he uses this new leverage to guide your hips, carefully pressing you clothed heat against the hardness straining against his pants.

"P-please," you choke out, arms wrapping around his shoulders, gripping him for dear life as he moves you.

"Hm?" he hums quietly, shifting the angle so he's rubbing right up against your covered clit.

"Please," you breathe out again, clenching around nothing. "Please, Spencer."

You're not even sure what you're begging for, only that you want — no, need more of this stimulation.

He seems to understand what you need better than you do, gathering your body to him and laying you on your back.

Your thighs automatically fall open for him, allowing his body to fit between them, one hand holding himself up. He presses himself against you again, drawing a desperate moan from the back of your throat as he works on undoing the buttons of your cardigan, letting the fabric slide off your body and pool at your sides.

The hand he's not using to support himself reaches for you, thumb brushing against your hardened nipple. The corner of Spencer's mouth twitches upward as you arch up against him, eyes screwed shut.

"You like that?" he asks genuinely, doing it again. You nod frantically, mouth dropping open, but no sound coming out of it.

"Yes," you pant, bottom lip catching between your teeth. "Yes, I like that — please."

"Please what?" His mouth descends upon your neck, fingers continuing their attack on your sensitive nipple, clothed cock still rubbing up against you oh-so wonderfully.

"Please... please touch me," you beg, unable to stop your hips from bucking up against him. "I need you to touch me, Spencer."

Such vulgar words coming out of your mouth. It shocks the man, but he complies, shifting his body backwards so he can pull your skirt and underwear down your legs.

The sight between them is magical — your folds glistening in the soft light of the room, you writhing in anticipation in front of him — and something he has, admittedly, thought about once or twice.

"Have you ever done this before?" he asks, running his middle finger through your slick and pressing down gently on your clit. You shake your head lazily, face screwed up in pleasure, a sight Spencer will cherish forever.

A strangled moan rips out of you as Spencer presses a finger against your hole, thumb rubbing soft circles on your sensitive bud, and enters you with little resistance.

"Neither have I," he admits sheepishly, pumping his finger in and out of you rhythmically, curling it until he finds that spongey spot within you that has you crying out his name and spilling over his hand.

"Two virgin germaphobes," you mumble jokingly, trying to wiggle closer to him again. You fumble with his belt, somehow managing to pull it through the loops, and toss it on the ground carelessly.

He helps you to push his pants down, just enough for his cock to slip out.

"Two virgin germaphobes," he agrees quietly, adjusting your bodies so you're both in a more comfortable position, sliding his heavy tip through your slick folds. "Are you sure—"

"I'm sure, Spence," you abruptly cut him off, running your fingers through his hair, subconsciously pulling him towards you. "Please just — just fuck me."

Spencer doesn't need to be told twice, slowly pushing into you, gasping as your warm walls suck him in, gripping his cock like a vice. He holds his breath, trying not to immediately blow his load.

You're writhing, gasping, clawing at his back, whispering his name out into the air, and it only works to make him more hungry for you. But he stills one he's fully sheathed inside you, giving you time to adjust.

"Does it — uh — does it hurt at all?" he asks in a whisper, directly into your ear.

"N-no," you gasp back, the small pain slowly morphing into one of pleasure. "It doesn't hurt, you can — fuck — you can move, when you're ready."

He doesn't think he'll ever be ready, with how tightly you're gripping him, but he still finds himself pulling out until only his tip is nestled in you, and slowly pushing back in all the way. You hum shakily, trying to press yourself closer to him as he repeats the action, then again.

Already so sensitive from your first orgasm, you know you're not going to last long with his slow movements, thighs clenching around his. Pressure grows in your abdomen as he thrusts back in, slightly harder this time, grunting into your neck.

"God, I'm already so close," you choke out, head thrown back, sounds you didn't even know you could make raking out of you. Spencer can't get enough of them, leaning down and catching one of your nipples in his mouth, gently sucking on the sensitive nub.

Without warning, you're spasming around him, drool dribbling out of your open mouth as you come, body going slack against the couch.

"W-where do you want me to—"

"Inside," you mumble incoherently, biting your lip hard enough to leave marks, tears building on your waterline. "Please, Spence, I want you to come inside me."

Your words alone are enough to have him spilling inside you, thrusts sloppy and unrhythmic. Your hum in content, clinging to him like a koala as he gently pulls his softened cock from inside you, rubbing soft circles onto the skin over your breastbone. It's comfortably quiet.

And then...

"Hey," you whisper in a tired voice, "you wanna go on a date with me?"

He smiles, pressing a soft kiss to your hip. "I would love to," he whispers back fondly before standing up from the couch, "but first, we need to get you cleaned up and rested.

[thestarrynightslover]

The Trials of Dating in Secrecy

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader

Word count: 2,374

Warnings: Discussion, yelling, some angst, workplace romance, nudity, and verbal sexual harassment (all very light).

Summary: Okay, so this one features a bit of work issues (workplace romance), and a bit of jealous!Harvey + Harvey taking care of his girl, as requested by Anon.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the show Suits, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way, or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: Well this is the first request I took and I’ll admit that it was a bit challenging, not cause it was particularly hard but because I wasn’t super inspired at first, nor did I have the time. Though, now, I think it worked? Idk, don’t feel like this was my best work either but feel free to leave some feedback, and thanks for reading!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

“Seriously, Harvey!” You let out annoyed. “I think I should probably go home now,” you said, thinking that if you did go home you could keep yourself from saying something you might regret later. 

“Oh, really? So now you're mad at me because I’m simply asking a bit more of this relationship?” He asked, looking ready to have a full-on fight.

“No, Harvey! What I’m actually upset about is how you’re making today all about yourself and your needs, when I’m the one going through it all!” You really didn’t wanna shout but the little bit of patience you had left vanished when his questions reminded you of the little stunt he’d pulled today.

Earlier that day, at the firm, you had been giving a consult to a prospective client on an intellectual property lawsuit he may be looking at and the guy seemed a bit disinterested in his own situation, giving you — and by you, you mean your body — most of his attention. But that was fineish, it was a regular occurrence, being a young woman in that field, so you didn’t really mind it anymore, at this point — after all, ignoring the occasional sexual harassment was usually the easiest route to advancing in your career. The problem was that the man started interrupting your professional analysis to hit on you, and eventually, he reached for your forearm, caressing it as he spoke. And that was exactly when Harvey, the man you’d secretly been dating for about 7 months now, decided to walk into your office. As he entered your office, you yanked your arm out of the man’s grasp but you couldn’t shut him up just as quickly, so your boyfriend got there just in time to hear a “So, if you really like yourself a sturdy stallion,” he pointed at a framed picture of you riding a horse on the wall behind you, “you should ride mine, someday. If you know what I mean,” he finalized with a wink, and how on Earth could you — or anyone hearing that — not know what he meant when he had said it so suggestively? 

“What did you just say to her?” Harvey’s voice came sharply, indicating he was about to get into a fistfight with the man who was probably not going to be your client now.

“Oh, we’re just chatting about- uh, who are you, again?” The shorter guy had the nerve to ask.

After that, Harvey was so quick to hoist the man up from the chair in front of you, by the collar of his dress shirt, that you didn’t even have time to react before he started punching the guy right in the face.

“I’m her boyfriend, that’s who I am! And you will be out of here before I take you out myself.” The man didn’t fall backward solely because Harvey had a hold on him, still, so he just stared at the other attorney in shock. “What are you looking at? Get out!” Harvey shouted once again, tossing the man towards your office door.

After that, you tried calming Harvey down but you barely had any time for it before Jessica and Louis barged into your office, revolted by their partner’s behavior and asking what had gotten into him to attack a prospective client like that.

“The prick was propositioning my-” But you cut him off before he could complete his sentence.

“He was harassing me during the meeting, and Harvey walked in and heard it, and, as a good colleague, he wanted to defend my honor, I guess,” you said with a short, humorless laugh while making air quotes with your fingers.

“A good colleague?” The tall senior partner asked quietly, hurt pooling in his eyes.

“Well… That’s terrible but you know better than to do this, Harvey,” Jessica told him.

“You know, I’d never thought I’d see the day you would act like such a caring gentleman for anyone, Specter,” Louis added, as always, eager to make things worse. “And, (y/n), at the very least you need to reach out to that man and take him out to an apology dinner. Because you are well aware of how important it is for you to get more clients.”

“Yes, I-” You stopped what you were saying mid-sentence because the man you loved was storming out of your office and all you wanted to do was chase after him.

“And now you’re gonna let him get off with that shit he pulled this easy?” Louis shouted, obviously trying to be heard by Harvey too. “I mean, this firm is turning into a complete mess, Jessica! It’s like you can’t control your office anymore! A junior partner who barely has her own clients and a senior partner battering prospective clients? We’re gonna go bankrupt like this, if not sued for malpractice altogether! And-”

“Louis, will you shut up, for God’s sake? I’m the managing partner and I’ll deal with both of them. Now go and let me talk to (y/n) alone!” Your boss responded, making you apprehensive about the conversation you were about to have with her.

As he left the room, Jessica motioned for you to sit on the couch with her. “(y/n), first of all, are you okay? Because if that man did something to you, then…”

“No, no! The harassment was just verbal,” not that that made it any better, you thought to yourself. “Harvey intervened before it could get to that.”

“Right. Well, that’s a relief.” She paused for an instant, giving one of those smiles she used when she was going to convince you of something unpleasant. “Now, as much as it pains me to admit it, Louis is right. You need more clients. I didn’t think it’d be good to tell you this after our conversation but the board has been pressuring me about making personnel cuts. Directed mostly to the partners who aren’t producing much. And you know that I like your work, and see your value to the company but those old men in suits only care about numbers, so if you don’t manage to bring in a new client by the end of the week… I am going to push for you to go after that man’s account again. Using whatever means necessary.” She declared, still sporting that smile. “Are we clear?”

At that, a defeated “Yes, Jessica” was all you could mutter. And then she left. And all you could think about was how you’d somehow managed to screw up both your professional and personal life, all at once.

Leaving work that day, after setting up four meetings with potential clients for the following days, all you could think about was making up with Harvey, so you went to his place to talk. And that’s how you got to the argument you were having now. He was upset about the whole ‘good colleague’ thing and you were upset because you could have handled the situation without burning that bridge with the guy, which was multiplied by ten when you remembered that you were on deadline to get more clients — something you hadn’t told Harvey.

“Making it all about-” He’d started saying angrily but stopped himself and his voice instantly took on a soft, caring tone, “wait, what do you mean you’re going through it all?”

Now you realized what you’d said.

“Uh, I meant nothing. I was just being dramatic, is all,” you stated unconvincingly.

“No, that doesn’t make any sense. If anyone is dramatic in this relationship, it’s me and we both know it,” he said, making you crack a small smile, thinking of how right he was. “So tell me, honey, what’s going on?”

“I, um, I’m being encouraged, or, better said, ordered to expand my client list.” There, you’d said it.

“What? Why?”

“You know why, Harvey. You just can’t be a partner at the firm if you don’t bring enough money in.” You told him, defeated.

“But… but you’re so good! You bring such good attention to the company’s name, your clients might actually be more satisfied with your work than mine, and they are very satisfied with my work,” he said matter-of-factly with a grin on his face.

“Yeah, maybe. But you might not know this because you've always been a man and Jessica’s protégé but for the rest of us, women trying to be successful at Pearson, the bar is just much higher, babe. And they're threatening to take away my partnership, maybe even my job altogether, if I don't get it done,” you finally finished your confession with teary eyes, even though you didn’t want to cry about it.

“That’s… that’s just unacceptable!” He let out, running his hands through his hair, “Did- does Jessica know about that? Because I can-” He tried to go on with his speech but you cut him off.

“She knows, Harvey. She says she likes my work but her hands are tied.” You let him know, sighing a little.

“But… that’s not… that doesn’t make any sense! It’s just not like Jessica to give in like that…” Harvey commented, starting to look defeated as well.

“Maybe when it’s about someone like you. But with me? She might not even be trying all that hard.” To which he responded with a mischievous glint in his eyes, perking up.

“Then, I’ll talk to her! I’ll tell her that, if she doesn’t secure your place in the company, I’m going to start listening to those offers I get all the time!” He said smiling widely this time.

“Harvey! You can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’d be incredibly stupid, and unprofessional, and-” You didn’t wanna finish your sentence but you had to. “And, that way, she’ll know.”

“Know?”

“About us. That we’re dating,” you finished sighing again.

“She’ll kn-” he stopped mid-sentence, full of disbelief. “And what’s so wrong with that?”

“Harvey…”

“No, don’t ‘Harvey’ me, (y/n)! If you don’t want me to help because it’d be unprofessional, then that’s okay. I can understand that. But what exactly are you trying to tell me, huh? That our relationship’s never gonna see the light of day? Or are you trying to break up with me?” That last question came out of him in such a low tone you could barely believe had come from him.

“No! Of course I don’t wanna break up-”

“Then tell me what do you want? Because I don’t understand why I can’t tell the world that I’m your boyfriend. I don’t get what’s so wrong about your boyfriend telling off a prick who can’t keep his hands to himself around another man’s woman-”

“Do you seriously think now is a good time to be possessive?”

“Oh, honey, I am possessive by nature. Especially around you,” he stated coming closer to where you were standing. And you could do nothing but welcome his warmth, after all, it’d been a long day.

As you stepped fully into his embrace and rested your head on his chest, you told him “I love you, Harvey. I don’t wanna break up with you. And I want you to tell the world that I’m your girlfriend, even Jessica,” hearing that, his eyes lit up. “But, as much of a prick as that man was, you need to understand that I can handle myself and that you need to give me space to make my own way at work, just like you made yours.”

“You’re right.”

“I know,” you joked, trying to shrug your shoulders at him.

“And I won’t try to interfere at work anymore. But don’t think that I’m just gonna stand around doing nothing if I see someone trying to mess with my girl again.”

“Well, that-”

“I’m not done yet,” he said, silencing you in an instant, “you should also know that, when you’re home with me, you’re mine to take care of.”

“Yeah? And how exactly do you plan on doing that?” You asked him with a smug smile.

His only response was swiftly picking you up and taking you to his suite’s bathroom, where he gently sat you down on the edge of the tub, just to start running the hot water into the bath he’d already filled with delicious-smelling bathing salts. “Wait here, baby.”

A bit later he came back carrying some candles he started lighting with one of the matches from a box he had in his other hand.

“What are you doing, Harv?”

“Just come over here,” he said after having spread the candles all throughout his spacious bathroom. They were scented too, you noticed. The second you reached him, though, instead of holding you close, he started taking off your clothes, slow and gentle, piece by piece. Which he followed up with little kisses all over your now bare skin. After being satisfied with his work of making you forget everything, he picked you up again and, this time, carefully dipped you into the bathtub. “Now, you just lay back and relax, darling.”

“You’re not joining me?” You asked him hopefully.

“No, I’m taking care of your dinner,” right after he left, though, one of your favorite songs started playing softly on a speaker he’d set somewhere.

You probably dozed off in that tub, because before you knew it you were being held by your boyfriend in his bed, still completely naked. “Hey.”

“Good morning beautiful,” he greeted you with a grin, “you know, you were taking so long to wake up, that I was starting to think that the breakfast I made you was gonna get cold.”

“Wait a second, last night you were making me dinner and this morning you made me breakfast… two for two! What’s happening to you?” You asked, giggling like a child.

“Nothing, nothing! It’s just… I told you, at home, I take care of you, that’s all.” He told you while he guided you out of the bed, handing you one of his shirts altogether. 

“You know, you keep saying ‘at home’ but this isn’t really our home…” As you put on his dress shirt, you followed him towards his living room. 

“It could be…” And that’s when you saw a set of keys at the dinner table by the cutlery.

[bunnwich]

Still Infallible, Until Tangible Analysis🔆

I knew from the moment I saw him cry in that opening 4 years ago that Leona was a Sad Boy (™)

My translation may be flawed as it was achieved through an online translator and then cross-referenced with a few others. Lyrics are in orange. --

I’m gonna be making references to a few of the posts I’ve already made because when I’m right, I’m right. And TRULY, it's crazy to me many of these posts were written BEFORE the Chapter 2 light novel, BEFORE Leona’s Chapter 7, BEFORE the Tamashina Mina event and…I just guess I have a gift for clocking this man?? Why I couldn’t have more important gifts in this life, I’m sure I don't know.

Beyond the door that closes, I hear a joyous song drift in, A voice that shakes in the distance,  Even as the shadows scatter, 

Leona starts out with the imagery that a party is always “going on without him.” He always feels separate especially from his family, and it almost a tease of a life he wishes he could lead.

(GUYS, I literally JUST wrote about the fact that Leona always feels this way and uses this same analogy to express his isolation. I WANNA SCREAM) 

“A never-ending wheel where he was crushed underneath it each time, listening to a party go on happily without his presence. Left alone to eat the rotten, sour grapes. Every. Time.”  From this fic: X

I wrote this because it reminded so much of Scar and the idea of some sort of "celebration" taking place without him. One thing’s for sure, the writers LOVE weaving Disney move refs into the characters and I just think it really helps you understand the framework for how they see each of the characters.

Circling across the night, 

Pacing. He mentions doing circles. A ENDLESS CYCLE LIKE I SAID ABOVE.  It’s torment. You know what else it reminds me of? That scene with Scar where he paces in the SHADOWS then kicks a bone in frustration. Bro is PENT UP.

Leona obsesses:

“Hm, I’ve always been a sore loser. Post-mortem is a chess term.” Leona’s gaze circled back to the window again, his hand covered his mouth as he explained. “Analysis of a game after it’s concluded. A player who has just lost the game thanks to a…dubious or stupid move has the chance to win the post-mortem by finding a better one.”

“Oh, right.” They acknowledged. “I-I remember you telling me that. That makes sense I guess: to learn from your mistakes.”

“Tch, yeah.” He grumbled. “Whenever I played chess as a child I would obsess over the post-mortem, every loss or even victory. Every outcome; and what I could have done differently… Pathetic.” He paused before going on. “I couldn’t sleep or even eat after the…overblot. I guess what I didn’t learn as a child, what I still fail to learn now, is that sometimes it doesn’t matter. Fate is stronger than any effort and life is…cruel and random. It doesn’t matter if you learn. When you’re either doomed to repeat the same mistakes, or you have no more options…unable to recover from your defeat. So why should I care…?” Leona finished his thought in a low voice.

(Did I clock him or did I clock him pookies?) Link to full scene here: X

After each loss he takes, he can’t let it go. He LAMENTS, he goes over it over and over in his head.

I yearn without end  My pride is used as a shield.

Ah, and the Y E A R N I N G line. HE'S A Y E A R N E R, he cares so much he looks stupid.

We been knew. He takes everything soo seriously. I do think there is a level of him being fearful of not being accepted fully by others. Why else does one hide? BUT, in Chapter 7 he acknowledges his failure to even try to reach out as well. 

Leona, despite his flaws, is very aware of his issues and is more emotionally mature than some of the other characters. He isolates himself, even though he hates it. He acknowledges it’s pathetic what he does, but he can't escape the cycle nonetheless. The words he sings are melancholy, like there are waves that beat against a cliff, eroding it. He’s trapped in his cycle of despair, a hell of his own making. Just like his dream.

The fading light, the unchanging world  still an infallible color   No matter how many times I reached out this hand  it always held nothing I might as well turn it all to sand. 

What he reaches for–the perfect dream–is does not exist, as fleeting as trying to catch sunlight in his hands, hands that can only bring destruction due to their terrifying magic.

This backs up my belief that Leona thinks that everything he touches goes wrong. (Just like his dream!!) His magic is innately destructive. He is/has been a bad omen of sorts since birth and, at his worst, he feels maybe it’s all he’s good for. Because he lets himself be tormented in this way, he feels the only way out is to destroy everything and with it, his yearning too.

Even the phantoms that play with me are too bright and bothersome  If I can remain unfaithful (If I keep my facade up) I sneer at the idea (I can keep laughing it off)

Hope is...bothersome to him, it always has been, because it challenges his mindset. Not only that, but I can see how reverting to that naive mindset that has him hoping AGAIN…is the most painful thing of all. This section about “phantoms” aka “hopes and dreams” makes me think of the Chapter 2 light novel translation.

But the pack spoke eagerly about the future, with sparkling eyes. That alone is terrifying. It's not their expectations that scare me.  I’m scared of myself. Of how pathetic I would be if their words inspired me, so that I am never able to give up hope.

Man wants to be wanted, to be needed, to be admired. He craves it but at the same time he’s afraid of it, of how even this little bit of admiration has changed him. Made him soft, made him believe it was possible to win for once. Made him believe for a second it was tangible?

Somewhere in my heart, there's still the lingering hope that, maybe, I can still do it. It's an unbelievably optimistic, sweet thought, filled with wishful thinking. Ruggie, Jack, and the others all talk about these foolish dreams that will never come true, but in the end, I'm just as much a fool as they are. 

His own words! Leona forces himself to be apathetic when he has instincts to be idealistic. Back to the line of→ ARROGANCE AS A SHIELD. That’s his ultimate armor. “If I go out of my way to disappoint people as soon as they meet me, then I won't have any expectation to live up to.”

And again, he knows he is insincere, laughing at the naive hopes, SNEERING AT THEM. Dismissing his underclassmen's view of him as naive chatter. Those who believed in him blindly,and admire him. The dorm even calls him their “King” in Chapter 2. 

It’s interesting how sometimes Leona is so dismissive of praise, even if he craves it more than anything. It’s almost like…he doesn't truly believe in it and if he did, well that'd be dangerous wouldn't it? Nothing he truly desires will ever be within reach.

At a certain point, it feels like…he almost seeks criticisms of himself. It’s like taking the easy way out. As if he doesn't want others to see him positively. It's a toxic safety blanket...but it's his. He’s so masochistic. As though he takes the criticism of being lazy or ineffective as proof that he IS what they say he is. "Like yeah I do suck, huh?" (Like when Lillia said he’d be a bad King in Chapter 2. and he agrees and laughs.) This negative reaction from others reinforces the concept that Leona often purposely pushes others away as a "test" to see if they even see the real him, and also as a masochistic way to show himself; “Ah yes, I am right again…no one appreciates the real me because the real me sucks.”

Even despite this…we see how good of a leader he is , how excited and driven he is about things he actually cares about like Spelldrive or like mentoring his frosh. HE CAN’T HELP IT, BECAUSE THAT’S WHO HE REALLY IS. NOT THIS SAD SACK WHO CRIES ABOUT HOW LIFE IS UNFAIR.

The crazy thing about this man is he KNOWS all this about himself. It all…self-sabotage at it’s finest. That's the reason Leona's dream was so fucked up. He stands in his OWN way. He casts that shadow over his own light.

He is SO afraid of failure he won't try. He wants to be in control of the narrative completely or not at all. And I feel that's where Leona’s ego comes in. He wants to control how people view him to be all these “great things”, but he just hasn’t put the work in. He KNOWS it's his fault.

WHICH IS CRAZY BC THIS IS exactly what he warned Jamil about in Chapter 6. HE JUST DOESN'T PRACTICE WHAT HE PREACHES.

Remaining "nonchalant" is cope-ium to Leona. His carefree persona is so carefully put into place every day of his life.

Like in my overblot animation analysis I know Leona is very comfy in his coping mechanisms, that is, until he's NOT. UNTIL he’s inspired by his underclassmen or UNTIL he hears others being praised in the way he ONLY WISHES he was. (Like Malleus or his brother)  All the while ignoring and not truly absorbing the praise those who genuinely already care for him as he is.

It's a very...complex concept and I think those who get it, get it. I can see why Leona is so divisive and his fans are so loyal. It really takes A LOT of work to understand his madness, and NOW we have so much content which CLEARLY shows his true nature, there really is no excuse anymore for people to deem his character shallow IMHO.

Maybe that’s why I do get so bent out of shape when people continue to assume Leona is/will be nonchalant with everything. Like come on ya’ll ....you’re…falling the character’s facade.

NO, Leona is not a “delinquent trope” or even “broody bad boy”, he's more a "lazy genius" and "begrudging mentor." He is at his best when he is helping others, when he is teaching, and seeing the light in OTHERS. Savanaclaw IS HIS LIGHT. You compare Diadem and this song and YOU SEE IT RIGHT???

And the fact HE cannot see this himself is...heartbreaking. When left to his own devices and “all the shadows have scattered” as he says…it’s almost like he can't cope in his own brain. So, he HAS to disengage, tell himself he doesn’t care about anything.

Man can't stand himself. Leona is such an interesting representation of self-loathing, depression and mental illness. Like...I remember the first fic I wrote about Leona when there was barely any content of him and my first instinct was that "Yeah this grumpy ass-depressed man 100% seeks connection…even though he doesn't know HOW exactly to do it."

Savanaclaw is where he belongs, and I’m hoping we get to see him grow to the point he can live with himself better when he has to say goodbye to NRC. Really be able to sit with himself and love himself for who he is. 

If you've ever seen a person you love struggle with self-worth and self-loathing it is truly one of the most heartbreaking things…because at the end of the day, YOU cannot help them. They have to help themselves. As much praise as he gets from his underclassmen it's still NOT enough. He needs to accept himself as ENOUGH. He needs to have pride in himself. Because the pride we see with Leona now...is just a mask.

TBH, for years I always had a feeling that he was a secretly self-deprecating person and I was RIGHT. Holding back as much as he does with his skills and emotions is THE SAME form of self-sabotage he accuses Jamil of. He could be reaching out, but he’s not. He's held himself back because he's afraid to care, to be invested again. And…I think he’s afraid that he’ll never be enough.

The light I can't grasp, the twisted gaze  its infallible color  Even if I lay out reasons to blame someone  Every time I turn my back,  And still I hold out this hand,  turning everything into sand

This part confused me a bit with the wording TBH BUT- The last line ends with what feels like a self-admittance that he has no one to blame but himself. Despite what he says, he knows he’s given up. 

And maybe despite his nonchalance, it does hurt when people turn their back on him. (Another TLK reference?) 

Or…(because I am a bit shaky on the translation) perhaps he’s saying he’s turning his back on the light. (Hope.) I mean when you think about it, who can really hold light? It’s as if it was an impossible task to start with. The metaphor works as well as references TLK again. And that if the Light = Hope, he is self- admitting that sometimes he does reach out , he does dream, he is a sentimental fool sometimes. (Who totally looks at the stars.) He can be a hopeful fool and he falls into the trap of yearning for things that can never be. Over and Over. I often HC that Leona was quite a sensitive and idealistic child and this check out to me.

Considering each of these songs is about the feeling behind each of the overblots, it makes sense to what he felt his only option was to turn it all to sand, mirroring the void he feels within himself.  

I’ll end with some more of Leona’s Chapter 2 light novel quotes:

I'm not strong, I’m not wise, and I'm not loved. But is that who I am? I can't accept that. That's the one thing I do not want to admit.

He cannot commit to not hoping/ not caring at all though he can’t commit to believing in himself fully either. He’s stuck in a toxic cycle of his own making, I fear.

I'm utterly fed up with how unreasonable I am. Don't make me think that there might be a chance. Just let me believe that there is no point in having expectations. I am tired of struggling and suffering for things I cannot attain. I hate knowing how insignificant and boring I am. Maybe what I should be striving for is the strength to give up. And that sounds like the most painful thing of all.  Ah, life is truly unfair.

 (Link to this analysis: X) Leona is often poked fun of for sleeping all the time and yes, it his vice but also his sanctuary, he’s just…tired. And this song does a beautiful job at portraying his weariness. Musically, I enjoyed this very much! As with Idia and Jamil, MAJOR props to the VAs for portraying their characters so diligently that it even touched me, despite not being a Japanese speaker! I could have heard this randomly and known who it was. I feel the emotions…and it sounds like Leona. The rock ballad and slightly whiny vibes make me think of old mid-2000 rock, like Linkin Park type stuff?

[pangaeaseas]

Magic Is Masculinity: Or, Lucius Malfoy and How the Wand Makes the Man

One thing I'm always interested in thinking about in HP fic is how to realistically create a society with different mores from our own. If you take the premise that pureblood especially and overall wizarding culture more broadly is different from 1990s Muggle British society seriously, you must consider where social norms differ from 90s muggle norms. I personally am interested in the idea that pureblood families tend to live in multi-generational households with extended families rather than in a nuclear family, for instance, though I don't think this was JKR's intention (but who cares it's interesting). You could claim that LGBTQ+ people are more or less accepted than 90s Britain, depending on what you want to do with your story--and you could also consider that the wizarding world might have completely different definitions of sexuality (like, for example, the Roman use of penetrator vs non-penetrator as the main sexual binary). And we know that what is defined as masculinity and femininity varies massively across time and place.

So I want to think about how gender roles might differ in the wizarding world. There was a post I saw recently that discussed the idea of Sirius feeling affirmed in exploring femininity by being seen as feminine by Muggles while wearing robes, which I thought was a really interesting idea (and one that could apply to any character exploring gender). Of course the essential premise there is that something Muggles read as feminine--robes--are actually an essential aspect of Wizarding masculinity (see that guy who likes a nice healthy breeze round his privates in GoF).

So what else defines Wizarding masculinity? We can go absolutely wild! But I think there's a lot of canonical basis for the idea that one essential part of being a wizard and a man is having access to and control over one's own wand. This raises interesting questions about how characters who can't control their wands might be seen as emasculated (like Ron in CoS and Neville pre-HBP), and is also significant with regards to Voldemort's search for a wand that will allow him to fight Harry, and the period when Harry's wand is broken. So I'd love if people did additional analysis on this topic. But I'm going to specifically discuss the case of Lucius Malfoy, because I think he's a very clear example of how you need to have a wand to be a man.

"The faces around him displayed nothing but shock; he might have announced that he wanted to borrow one of their arms. “No volunteers?” said Voldemort. “Let’s see . . . Lucius, I see no reason for you to have a wand anymore.” Lucius Malfoy looked up. His skin appeared yellowish and waxy in the firelight, and his eyes were sunken and shadowed. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse. “My Lord?” “Your wand, Lucius. I require your wand.” “I . . .” Malfoy glanced sideways at his wife. She was staring straight ahead, quite as pale as he was, her long blonde hair hanging down her back, but beneath the table her slim fingers closed briefly on his wrist. At her touch, Malfoy put his hand into his robes, withdrew a wand, and passed it along to Voldemort, who held it up in front of his red eyes, examining it closely. “What is it?” “Elm, my Lord,” whispered Malfoy. “And the core?” “Dragon — dragon heartstring.” “Good,” said Voldemort. He drew out his own wand and compared the lengths. Lucius Malfoy made an involuntary movement; for a fraction of a second, it seemed he expected to receive Voldemort’s wand in exchange for his own. The gesture was not missed by Voldemort, whose eyes widened maliciously. “Give you my wand, Lucius? My wand?” Some of the throng sniggered. “I have given you your liberty, Lucius, is that not enough for you? But I have noticed that you and your family seem less than happy of late. . . . What is it about my presence in your home that displeases you, Lucius?” “Nothing — nothing, my Lord!” “Such lies, Lucius . . .” (Chapter 1, DH)

Having a wand is compared to having an arm: it's an essential part of a wizard's body. All the Death Eaters are shocked by the request. (Interestingly, we know of only two confirmed female Death Eaters, Bellatrix and Alecto Carrow. Bellatrix says that she would gladly give up any SONS specifically to the Dark Lord's service in HBP. This might imply that the Death Eaters are intended to be a majority male organization (though I personally like to explore the idea of there being more female Death Eaters) and so these are men specifically being affronted).

Before his wand is taken, it is specifically mentioned that Lucius appears ill--pale and waxen and yellow. Control of the body and good health is often seen as a crucial sign of masculinity. Lucius has lost this--he cannot control his own body--and is about to lose an important signal of his masculinity, his wand.

Voldemort is also treating Lucius as a child who's transgressed: there is 'no reason for him to have a wand anymore'--Voldemort doesn't respect Lucius's right to have a wand, like he's a child who isn't in control of his own decisions. A main throughline of Lucius's treatment since OOTP is Voldemort's interest in punishing him. This involves reducing him to a child to be ordered around, who can't be trusted with a wand. He treats Lucius as someone deeply beholden to him: Lucius having a wand and having liberty are dependent on Voldemort, instead of characteristics of an adult man with social authority. Voldemort is the patriarch of the Death Eater family.

Voldemort seems to enjoy humiliating him in front of the other Death Eaters: he could have asked him nicely as an equal in private, but he makes a spectacle of it, asking for volunteers he knows won't be appearing, only to single out Lucius and then mock any pretensions he might have to exchanging wands, then intimidating and terrifying him by questioning his loyalty (and the loyalty of his family, which thus insults Lucius's ability as a patriarch). The wand length comparison also serves no real purpose but to emasculate Lucius.

Immediately after taking the wand, Vodlemort also brings up Tonks's marriage to Remus to insult Lucius, Narcissa, and Bellatrix--another insult to Lucius's abilities as a patriarch as he cannot stop his family members from shaming the family through marriage choices. Again, it is delberate that Voldemort does this so soon after taking Lucius's wand. Now that Lucius is wandless, his masculine authority can be questioned.

Lucius clearly wants later to reclaim this lost authority --and implicitly his sense of his own masculinity.

When the Trio is captured, Lucius is extremely excited. He appears to be motivated by a desire to lessen his punishment (which involved Voldemort taking his wand, and said wand being destroyed by Harry):

"Harry had never heard Lucius Malfoy so excited. “Draco, if we are the ones who hand Potter over to the Dark Lord, everything will be forgiv —” “Now, we won’t be forgetting who actually caught him, I hope, Mr. Malfoy?” said Greyback menacingly." (DH)

Greyback says 'Mr. Malfoy' in a menacing way: it seems to be belittling him, reminding him that he doesn't actually have that much power in this scene compared to Greyback, who actually captured them by his own efforts compared to Lucius passively waiting for something to improve his situation. Greyback may be saying 'Mr. Malfoy' to say: all you have is your social position, compared to me--you might have the title of 'mr' but you don't have a wand and you don't have the power to act, so I am more masculine and can threaten you.

It's also really interesting how Narcissa is directing Lucius and Draco in this scene: she greets Greyback and brings him in, she refers to Draco as her son only, she is the first one to instruct Draco to examine them. Malfoy Manor might be Lucius's home, it has his name, but Narcissa appears to act as patriarch in this scene: it's her home, her son, she is greeting visitors and taking command, and she is the one to say 'we need to be sure and shouldn't immediately summon Voldemort' and the one to identify Hermione. This might be the typical Malfoy family dynamic, it might be because Narcissa is the one who still has a wand.

Then Bellatrix comes in, and she orders both Lucius and Narcissa around. She also asks Narcissa what happened, treating her as the leader of the family. Now Bellatrix has always hated Lucius, they certainly didn't seem to get along well during the DoM battle. But here she's just contemptuous of him, and provides key evidence for my wand-equals-masculinity theory.

"“I was about to call him!” said Lucius, and his hand actually closed upon Bellatrix’s wrist, preventing her from touching the Mark. “I shall summon him, Bella, Potter has been brought to my house, and it is therefore upon my authority —” “Your authority!” she sneered, attempting to wrench her hand from his grasp. “You lost your authority when you lost your wand, Lucius! How dare you! Take your hands off me!” “This is nothing to do with you, you did not capture the boy —” " (DH)

Lucius lost his authority when he lost his wand. He is no longer the patriarch, the master of the house, specifically because he does not have a wand: Bellatrix then goes on to order Draco around, which Narcissa protests because it's 'her house': a striking contrast to Voldemort calling it Lucius's house in the first chapter, before he took the wand, and to Lucius trying to call it his house. While Lucius has a wand it's his house, but when his is taken it become's Narcissa's (though of course she is talking to her sister about herself, so you don't necessarily have to read that much into it). Interestingly, Bellatrix doesn't give orders to Lucius: maybe because she just doesn't like or trust him but maybe because he doesn't have a wand and is thus useless.

The whole concept of authority in HP--and Lucius, owner of Malfoy Manor, husband and father, has specifically patriarchal authority as Head of his family--is linked to having a wand. Lucius seems to have expected to be able to exercise some control over Bellatrix as a fellow Death Eater and as his sister-in-law who appears to be living with him, but she rejects this possibility by saying he can't control her as a male patriarch might because he doesn't have a wand. Thus he is failing to meet the requirements of being a patriarch in wizarding society. Bellatrix can do whatever she wants in his house, and he has no way of stopping her. She seems to have replaced him as patriarch of the Malfoy family.

The linkage of masculinity with authority with having a wand is made extremely clear through Bellatrix's line. By taking Lucius's wand, Voldemort removed the last semblance of authority and masculinity he had, to humiliate and emasculate him for losing the diary and the prophecy (and I think the broader narrative is doing this to Lucius at least a little as well, he becomes more pathetic and pitiable, because in JKR's view of gender pity is for women).

Later, Lucius's role as a Death Eater has clearly been reduced: Voldemort dismisses his suggestions around the Battle of Hogwarts as only being concerned for his son, and assigns him the menial task of fetching Snape. He has been reduced from advisor to fetch-and-carrier. Lucius's last appearance on page is NOT fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts, appearing only concerned with his son (and JKR often associates concern with a child only over any other concerns with maternity and femininity, but that's another post).

In working on this meta I also had a lot of thoughts about warrior masculinity through martial magic in the Wizarding World, and the idea of a Death Eater specific masculine warrior ideal, but that's another post LMAO. I hope this has been helpful in imagining how magic might affect gender roles!

[darlingdaisyfarm]

BLUEPRINTS WERE NEVER THE POINT

tags: Ford x reader, obsessive behavior, tw dubious content i guess.. Ford needs therapy but he needs you first, suggestive, filthy thoughts

2nd part

your lips were making it hard to think. the threat was elusive, illogical, so out of place, considering Ford really was trying to concentrate. and he’d always believed he did that much better than, say, Stanley, who got bored two minutes into anything. but from the corner of his eye, Ford couldn’t ignore the way you were muttering something under your breath. that soft little voice. formulas, schematics, electromagnetic. . . electromagnetic what? some numbers, clever words. . .all of it faded into the background the moment you bit down, just slightly, on your lower lip or simply glanced in his direction.

Stanford blinked, rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried to chase the hallucination away, already forming a stupid excuse in his mind that the room was just hot, but the temperature probably wasn’t to blame. and besides, it’s not like you were going to ask, too embarrassed yourself by the fact that, seriously, what the hell? this mega brilliant scientist, who had thrown himself into some insane portal idea, was looking at you instead of the blueprints? wasn’t that the entire reason he’d asked you here in the first place?

unashamed, gently, you licked your chapped lips. accidentally, but your gaze still flicked toward him, briefly and completely unintentionally, you damn swore. but the look on his face didn’t please you in the slightest. it felt like you’d just been struck with something sharp and cold. Ford was staring. staring straight at you and for some reason, his gaze had turned so serious your throat went dry.

yeah. awkward.

you looked back and couldn’t understand. felt yourself caught, as if you’d done something wrong and very stupid, even though, to be fair, you’d just been sitting there quietly, only now and then mumbling some names of materials under your breath.

the feeling crept in, as if you didn’t belong here. like you were supposed to. . . supposed to what? come up with an idea? suggest something for the blueprint? contribute?

it had been nine minutes since your last conversation, where you’d been discussing the design of the portal. and now the silence was pressing down. maybe he was just waiting for some result from you? and for some reason, that made you want to disappear even more, shrink, fold into yourself, vanish. there was something accusatory in his gaze as if he’d expected genius and now were disappointed.

but Ford was only disappointed that he hadn’t felt your lips on his yet.

the pull was so intense it was choking him. god, how fucking adorable your lip trembled when you were nervous. how obscenely soft and unfocused you traced your tongue along the edge. and in his mind, behind it all, he was already somewhere at your collarbones, higher, lower, in fantasies, filthy and impulsive. and that frightened, guilty look in your confused eyes made it all so much harder to bear.

he just wanted to lean across the table, shove the papers aside, sweep all those pitiful formulas onto the floor, take your face in his hands and press his lips to that mouth of yours that made it impossible to think, to work, to live. press so hard, so deep it would leave him breathless. that was the only truth, the one no science had yet unearthed.

to kiss that sweet mouth long, with force, until everything around disappeared. and then to trail down, along the chin, the neck, where the skin was so thin and sensitive, feeling every nerve. to leave a mark just above your collarbone, with teeth. bite you, bite you, bite you. further. to run his tongue along your shoulders, paying attention to every dip and curve, with hunger, imagining he was studying a new element, so tempting and unclassifiable, refusing analysis.

to silence you with that kiss. so not a single one of those muffled beautiful sounds could escape again. to press you close, so tight, not even air could pass between your bodies. to make love to you and quiet those sweet moans with kisses. to leave no second, no thought, untouched by your body. to never again see that look in his darling’s eyes. frightened, thrown off, confused why someone could want you so much. to replace it with another, dazed, muddled with pleasure, lashes wet and throat trembling.

Ford leaned forward, searching your face for any hint or permission, perhaps invitation, even a flicker of agreement, please. but truthfully, he hadn’t needed any of it for a long time. without waiting for any of it, he suddenly grabbed your chin and tilted your face up, forcing you to look at him, as if you owed him some kind of explanation.

“Ford? do you think im stupid? sorry, you invited me to help and i—“

of course, your first reaction was to pull away, or at least try. your shoulders twitched, but those six fingers were firm and gave you no chance to retreat so you froze, completely thrown by what was happening. it was all so sudden, so close and loud. so hot. and Ford took full advantage of that.

he leaned in and crushed his lips against yours, barely holding back a growl and a moan at finally finding out how sweet his sweetheart tasted. a jolt and his tongue forced its way in without invitation, sliding deep. your breath hitched instantly, it was so wet. and also so loud inside your poor head, you couldn’t grasp anything, just clenched the blueprint in your hands, crumpling it into a ball, hearing the traitorous crackle of paper and suddenly realising you'd just ruined months of work and calculations. though the man in front of you couldn’t give less of a fuck, and the proof of that was his hand sliding along your waist, gripping so tightly there wasn’t the slightest chance you could pull away.

the kiss went on, Ford didn’t let you breathe or lift your head. he insisted and pushed, broke you like deer bones in the forest. his fingers still held your chin tightly, the other hand moved to your back, pressing so hard it began to hurt a little.

none of this was supposed to happen. there was no permission here, no logic, no morality. the behavior was antisocial, crude and repelling. Ford, fuck, you can't do this. you weren’t allowed. it was unethical.

but he didn’t hear. didn’t understand how wrong it was.

then why were you answering like that? why did your fingers wrap around his wrist? why did that sound escape you? your muffled moan, torn through the kiss, trembling, blurred in the wet breath between you. your brows were furrowed, face tense. your mouth submissively parted, tongue meeting his. naive, confused, completely unaware how far past the line this all had gone. you kissed back. deep and so fucking pliant and that only made it worse.

he didn’t realise what he was doing. didn’t realise he was breaking every possible boundary. why did you let him?

[interclover]

The Stars: BFDIA's favourite characters (/s)

Tumblr you'll have to excuse me but I'm in a big yapping mode today. Once I start writing, I can't stop. Anyway.

On the note of bfdia analysis, today, I want to talk about another set of characters that I keep rotating in my mind at high-speeds (/pos): The Stars.

When I first watched BFDIA 15, I thought they were a funny team. However, the more I thought about them, the more patterns I noticed. This lineup wasn't a coincidence: all of them are the underdogs of the competition.

All of them have faced mistreatment, oppression, and were belittled by the rest of the contestants due to their personalities. Pin, seeking to voice up her concern for her teammates' wellbeing and, most importantly, herself, was constantly shut down. Book was treated as inferior all the time in Freesmart, a behaviour she did not recognise and mistook for friendship. And then, we have Nickel, who spent the entire competition being left behind and alone because nobody liked him.

Whether they like it or not, none of them fit in. And they deal with it in entirely opposite ways.

Firstly, let's focus on Pin -- the most radical example. After regaining her mobility and senses, she swore to make everyone who had wronged her (ie: the entire cast) get a taste of their own medicine. She wanted them to see how bad she was suffering because of their actions. So, she couldn't keep up her facade of complicity any longer. She began tearing down her relationships and dreams, all in pursuit of power. A power that, if she were to win it, would show the rest that, despite everything, she's just as capable of winning -- if not more -- as they are. That would show them how wrong they were. On the other hand, if everything went astray, she'd at least try to take everyone down with her (wink wink reference to oomfs).

Secondly, there's Book. While Book and Nickel are both pretty passive when it comes to facing this issue, I'm choosing to focus on Book first (you'll see why later). When it comes to BFDIA (well, I think it can be also applied to BFB), Book is Pin's polar opposite. They're foils to each other: instead of showing the world its wrongs, Book is dedicated to show it kindness, time and time again. No matter how bad it gets, she will always do the right thing, since that's how she believes things will get better -- not only for her, but for her friends as well. For example, she gives out advice to Tennis Ball in BFDIA 21 because she doesn't want him or Needle getting the lower end of the stick. She just wants everyone to get along, in order to stop injustices -- such as what happened to Pin -- from taking place again.

It is well-known that Pin and Book are opposite sides of the spectrum, alike yet different. But there's one part of the equation often overlooked, and I'm here to cast some light on it:

Nickel.

He is also ostracised by the cast, even though it's usually played for comedic effect. However, that doesn't take away the seriousness of the issue: it's implied that he feels bad about it. After all, why does he latch onto TB like a puppy? (Bear with me here, since I'm beginning to speculate more, as we don't know much about his true character.) Anyway, I think that's because he doesn't want to be alone anymore. In spite of making useful contributions to his team (see: BFDIA 6 - 9), he still is cast aside! So, his only way to deal with this loneliness is to try to make up for his lack of usefulness. That could explain his personality change from pre to post-revival BFDIA, going from a pessimistic to a happy-go-lucky outlook in life, which could finally make him likeable to others. Usefulness is further remarked in his relationship with TB: he is always looking for a way to please him, so as to not make him leave his side (which is. Heartbreaking). Therefore, we can say that he deals with mistreatment by trying to prove the cast wrong, without resorting to violence. Now that I think about it, it's kind of a mix between Book and Pin's behaviours.

Taking all of this into account, they have SO MUCH potential for interesting interactions, especially in IDFB. It's a shame that they don't interact much (as a trio) in later seasons, because they KNOW!!! THEY COULD UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER!!!! they know what it's like to be messed around and tossed aside all the time. And yet, they have overcome those situations, partly because they got the opportunity to turn over a new leaf and meet new people. New people that actually cared for them, and valued them for who they really are.

On a side note, if Pin is the heroic leader and Book is the heroic protector, may I suggest making Nickel the heroic companion? He's always ready to give it all out for his teammates. Consequently, he is quite mad when his efforts go unnoticed or when something's unfair. For example, in his elimination, he recognises Pillow as the threat. Why is he getting out, if Pillow was the one who caused the team's downfall?

TLDR; Pin, Book and Nickel should be a friend group in uhhh bfdi season 6 🔥🔥🔥 Book is the friend both Pin and Nickel need. I love these silly guys. Also I hope I made you, the reader, reflect more on (some of) these characters -- especially Nickel. I think he's full of potential. As I've mentioned before, we don't know his change of heart, so there's still a lot of his character left for spectulation. Hopefully, IDFB is able to explore his character further.

[essycogany]

Justice For Amy Rose

My first long character analysis that isn't about Sonic and is very controversial. Let’s see how this ramble pile goes!

If you want to see a better structured analysis I’ll recommend this video. I’m basically saying the same stuff but with added-on clarifications.

No one has to agree with me but keep in mind I didn't grow up with this franchise, so my opinions are all over the place. A good thing is you don't have to worry about any biases from me. Now, onto my loveable pink hegie!

Amy is misunderstood to be written as this one note girl who’s only character trait is to love Sonic. People usually say she’s now strong, confident, a leader, capable, and is her own character and I agree. But she’s always had those good traits. Was Amy always well written? No! Do I think it could be a sign of her being inconsistent? Absolutely! Here’s just a few examples of her best moments in the past.

Sonic X’s best moments were whenever Amy genuinely wanted to help people or stand up for them. The episode where Amy gives Sonic a bracelet to make him feel protected is incredibly thoughtful. There were also times she led the group even though she wasn't supposed to. It's a flaw, not many people talk about, but it’s a part of her. It’s also a trait that is most shown in Sonic Boom and Prime. (From what little we saw of it) Also Team Rose exists, so she's always been a leader.

-In the Japanese version of the show Amy has a whole life goal that has nothing to do with Sonic. She wanted to own a restaurant someday.

Sonic Adventure has good moments too. Her reason for wanting to be with Sonic isn’t because “She wants to see his handsome face” but because she’s bored out of her mind. Then Amy helps a little Flikey despite the fact she would’ve been safer by not doing that. Amy’s interactions with Gamma impacted the robot to the point of him sacrificing himself to free a Bird he needed to stay alive. This shows how much dedication Amy has to doing the right thing even when she doesn't have to. To top it off she got what she wanted in the end. A not-so-boring day.

In Sonic Adventure 2 she jokes around about marrying Sonic and acts like she won’t tell him about Shadow but does it anyway. Then she breaks him out too. Can’t forget about her moment with Shadow. With her positivity and most emotionally mature moment. Amy basically saved the world by doing that. I know some say “Anyone else could’ve done that,” but everyone else was occupied and Amy had the most patience (mind you she’s been left behind constantly in this game lol) to have a talk with Shadow. No one else had the time (and debatably wouldn’t have took the time) to talk with him.

That one moment in Sonic Heroes wasn’t Amy’s best moment, but I don’t think it’s horrible for two reasons. One, Sonic doesn’t take her seriously (same as SA2) and tells her this.

Yeah, Sonic figured Amy was trying to annoy him. Two, she made sure to continue the search to find Chocola and Froggy and stayed with her team until they were found. Even when Amy wasn’t written the best, she stayed true to herself in some fashion.

Anyway, back to Amy’s other moments.

In Sonic 06 Amy quickly bonds with Silver until he turns against Sonic. The moment she says “If I had to choose between the world and Sonic, I would choose Sonic” was never meant to mean she loves one more than the other. It’s meant to be a sign of how much Amy trusted her friend. And don’t worry Sonic Adventure shows her standing up for Gamma in front of the main person she’d usually trust. Sonic is not immune to her protective nature. She’ll go against him if it means making the right choice. Amy’s devoted to Sonic, but she’s not a blind follower. Heck, she’s even encouraging towards Elise and wishes her luck on finding Sonic. Despite not knowing Elise was looking for him. Amy is the definition of encouragement and I wish people could learn to appreciate her moments of being a kind and honorable person for those she cares about.

Did I forget to mention she saved the world AGAIN by not letting Silver kill Sonic which caused him to question Mephiles?

-I really love how Amy is so friendly to most characters. She is just as energetic when she talks to Birdie, Shadow, Elise, Silver, and anyone she meets as she is when Sonic’s around. The girl’s a total extrovert. It could also explain her alleged abandonment issues. It definitely explains why she’s so pushy. Even the prospect of being alone makes her worried and there are so many examples of this it’s crazy!

Almost every moment in Unleashed is Amy’s best moment. In my opinion, she’s written the best in that game. Amy apologizes when she thinks Sonic in his Werehog form was someone else. She doesn't even call him “ugly” or anything like that. Amy just leaves him be. Her compassion knows no bounds. She encourages Professor Pickles when he’s worried about the destruction of the earth and compliments Sonic at the same time. Amy even gives Sonic encouragement when he’s insecure about being a “monster.” Proving her love for him is (and never was) disingenuous or about a perception of him. Amy loves Sonic for Sonic. She even states this in her first appearance in IDW. This trait clearly wasn't made up on the spot.

By the way, has anyone noticed how much of a symbol of hope Amy is? Sonic IS truly an inspiration to her. Even Sonic Forces got that part of her character right.

Okay, so that was most of her good moments. Now what? Oh, yeah. Amy is not a stalker. She doesn’t constantly follow Sonic around when he’s not looking or something. That or calling her a “fan girl” implies she’s some random girl who likes Sonic.

Amy is and has always been friends with him. It’s also why she’s always so excited to see him. She even says “Long time no see” in Adventure. It’s a common saying for a reason. It shows how little these characters see each other and proves they mostly live independent lives.

Both Amy and Tails have followed Sonic in the old games too. Tails also finds Sonic all the time. You don’t hear anyone calling Tails a stalker. In Sonic X they and their friends all stay in the same house. This proves she’s not a stalker there either. Even if not always shown very well in the past, Sonic and Amy are best friends. I DO think the writers could’ve made their friendship clearer by having Sonic not act as uncomfortable around her, but that’s my opinion.

-Do you notice how in Boom, IDW, and other versions of Amy people commonly like are from material where Team Sonic includes her and treats her like she’s a part of the team? Instead of stories like in Sonic Riders where Amy has to find Team Sonic or Sonic Heroes where she makes her own group. Or any monument in the past where she’s either left behind or has to say “I’m coming too” and joins her friends anyway despite being left. I don’t think her friends meant any harm (and it probably wasn’t the writer's intention) but how the characters, especially Sonic treated Amy seems to affect how the audience at the time thought of her.

Another reason I don't think the writers wanted people to hate Amy is that usually, Sonic is blunt. He’s not the “I’ll just spare your feelings” type. Sonic is an upfront and honest character. He’d call Amy out assertively if he needed to.

While I won’t say Amy was written perfectly, I’ll chalk it up to her being written like a child. You know, how some little kids are always honest about how they feel? Like the moment in Sonic Battle when she’s talking about raising Emerald with Sonic. Kids play pretend all the time. I’m not excusing her moments of threatening Cream or any other questionable moments like in Sonic Rush. Sonic Freeriders is the biggest example and by far her worst appearance.

I will defend Sonic Riders. Sonic launched Amy into the sky with Eggman. Sonic isn't perfect either. Her anger wasn’t agreeable but justifiable.

-Also all Sonic characters have bad characterizations. A huge example is Shadow, but we don't define him by those moments. Amy should be no different.

Amy is meant to be exaggerated and cartoony. You know, like when Sonic and Knuckles fight or clash with each other. Same for Shadow too. They always fight, but it’s how their dynamics work. It’s never made to be taken seriously.

All of this was to say, Amy is a great yet flawed character. But I want people to know she’s always been a kindhearted, girly, silly, selfless, adventurous, loyal, and fun character people praise her for in Boom, IDW, and Frontiers. I wouldn’t say she’s “gotten better” because that implies she was never good to begin with. I see it more as the writing became easier for people to understand. The constant hate from the past has truly tarnished her reputation even today. To the point where her best moments are ignored.

Even though her love for Sonic is the cartoony and genuine part of her personality, it’s not the only part. No, Amy doesn't have to be romantic but other female Sonic characters exist for that reason. Amy is also a wonderful representation of a strong and confident character who is traditionally feminine at the same time. A good example is her being a literal comfort character because she comforts and protects everyone she comes across. She'll kick your butt for messing with her friends then help you with your emotional issues afterward. She'd make a great therapist.

My favorite examples of Amy's characterization are Unleashed, TMOSTH, and the IDW Sonic Riders Arc. Those are the main examples of how she used to be commonly written. It’s just the little things you’ve gotta pay attention to. Thanks for reading my less-than-organized rambling. Again, you don't have to agree with me, but I enjoy chatting with you lovelies. Hope I at least gave a coherent answer as to why people always loved Amy Rose!

Stay Creative! 💜

[meelkiewee]

🎀My first Laicille fanart I did🎀

👇other doodles inspired by a Winx meme and the movie Red that I love + my Marscylla design while I wait for the animated one!

👇open for my reaction to the succubus as a first time reader (as accurate as possible)

I want to specify that when reading this I still wasn't completely full on their ship, I thought they were cutez together, expecially for the nightmare arc and Marci teaching Laios healing magic, but I was still unsure.

So when these panels come up I just think 'Marci is being nosy as always' and 'he really probably just thought of a monster', which isn't untrue but yk🤷‍♂️

I was totally expecting a 'Laios moment' explanation for the bite lol

Though I also thought it was extra-cute that he let his succubus kiss him on the cheeky like- HOW CUTE IS THAT? AWWW

THEN⁉️

THEN THESE FREAKING PAGES COME UP⁉️‼️

I swear I was reading laying in my bed but I felt the urge to sit up straight and reread like 10 times 'cause I couldn't believe my eyes!

And I was shocked that what I thought was a cute kiss on the cheeck was a freaking lick and a legit bite- There was absolutely ZERO need for it to be on the face at all and yet succubus went for the face bzxjjssj TWICE.

There are so many more reasons why I think this screams undeniably LAICILLE! but there are definitely more accurate analysis on tumblr so I leave the job to those.

I love these pages so much that when I finished the whole manga I printed them and pasted them on my walls.

I love these pages so much that I referenced the lick panel in one of the illustrations I submitted for the Laimar fanthology. (you'll see it when it's time uwu)

After that, I must admit I wasn't concentrated much on the lore with Winged Lion and stuff, so I was just laughing at the funny scenes happening right after:

Laios taking the bite with his face all skrunched up and red from embarrassment and Lion calling him an idiot for that.

He asking for wyvern breakfast even if he han no idea what's going on yet. If it's monster food, you never miss the chance, right?🥴

The freaking 😳 face he does when dream!Marcille greets him good morning. "Oh shit that's my bestie pouting her lips...the bestie that was sexily biting me few moments ago...oh man, oh lord! Act normal! ACT NORMAL!!"

I just find it funny, the image of perfecly logical Laios trying to figure out why the hell his succubus had Marcille's face or even, why not, put aside the whole thing to never be discussed again out of fear of his own blooming feelings or the party's judgement, expecially after what happened with the previous party mage, Asivia.

But fear not, after taking a pause and recollecting myself I continued reading and absorbing the lore like god intended😎👍

In the end, this all scene made me realize that Laios definitely could see her that way and made me start considering the ship more seriously. And since then Marcille also showed up to be warmer to Laios and they often found comfort in each other's help and presence. At that point I myself was fully in love with them<3

Thanks for stopping by and reading my reaction, hopefully you had fun!