#time really moved quickly
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What fucks me up about I Can't Help But Wonder is that Odysseus, the man who has had the longest 20 years in known history, took one look at his grown up son and still said "how time has flown". Like. That just strikes me as such a PARENT thing to say, you know?
#like he was there with his son in his thoughts the whole time#he must've had thoughts like 'Telemachus must've taken his first steps by now' all the time for 20 years#'Telemachus can probably read by now'#'Telemachus has to shave now'#and that must've dragged on and on in his head all the time he was away#making his journey even longer emotionally#and then he finally gets to see his son again#a young man#and he's like whoa#time really moved quickly#and there's just something about that that's both heartbreaking and strangely... soothing#if that makes sense#anyway#epic the musical#epic the ithaca saga
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Any bot that meets Sam just wants to take him home with them au.
For whatever crack induced reasons Sam activates the "omg so cute" section of the brain in transformers. So it makes things much more funny.
When Sam sees bee true form the first time he gets picked up and cuddled. Bee doesn't know why but he just needed a snuggle from this small human. The rest of the autobots have more restraint but you definitely can still feel the 🥺 in their mannerisms.
This even affects Megatron; which is kinda awkward for everyone lmao.
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Megatron: WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU FLESHY I'LL MAKE SURE YOUR NEST IS VERY COMFORTABLE AND YOU HAVE THE FINEST FOOD!
Sam: What?!
Megatron: What?
Autobots: I meeeeean......
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#transformers#sam witwicky#allspark sam#megatron#optimus prime#humans are space cats#crack#transformers bumblebee#the war quickly moves onto who gets time with Sam#hes extremely confused#but also really annoyed
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I was an angel, but they made me leave
#2nd time using punish lyrics for a post can u blame me#uh anyways hi#gonna ramble in the tags to keep the og post from being more depressing than jt already is#i've had this piece sitting in the drafts since January#aka it snowed for a bit here which brought back my desire to die in the snow#i haven't really been active as much due to alot honestly#i've been so tired lately and sometimes i feel bad about sharing art or even talking to others due to feeling like my existence is a burden#life is moving too quickly#and i fear im falling behind everyone else#ermm ya rant over ig#warhammer 40k#wh40k art#sanguinius#wuvz draws#wh40k
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i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D
#undertale yellow#uty#my art#<- ifg#spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad#that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways#CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO???#i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly#but THE CUTSCENES?!?!?#JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD#ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO#LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER#ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD#BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK.#AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE#n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of#everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS#WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING#AAND THE GROUP HUGG#I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD#AND THE FUCKOGN#THE F U C K I N G#AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD#to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho#and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump#just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece#anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way#this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to#oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig
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that one time when i did a shiny latias model
#she moves a bit weird with weird timing because it was my like. second time animating something in blender#like the second animation is mostly unfinished i just wanted to quickly put it together to test changing different animations in godot?#but it still looks really good i think! had a lot of fun figuring out things in blender#art#my art#pokemon#latias#3d#blender#animation#3d animation#also TECHNICALLY its low poly i did her like a low poly model. i just then added subdivision surface
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It is crazy to me that in the span of 20 years we've done a 360 on the prequels like people HATED these films when they came out
#NOT ME THO#i was 12 and in love with Anakin Skywalker#... also probably padme amidala but i didn't have time to unpack that#anyways#your second fun fact of i had phantom menace on vhs aotc on DVD and rots on a pirated burned dvd#which really tells you how quickly technology was moving
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taking a dip back into the penric & desdemonda novellas and just. argh. i love pen & des so so much and i think it's such a brilliant dynamic. and i really wish that focus weren't being taken away from that by... well, by any romantic plot, but particularly by one which feels so much like ground which has already been trod in the vorkosigan saga.
#there is nothing wrong with nikys but like. i have already read komarr and a civil campaign!#and i know like. there is no point in going to bujold if i cannot tolerate marriage & babies ever after#but i just think for me that there's such a compelling story to tell in the notion of pen and des having to be Everything to each other#because they have to exist outside of everyone else's society#and of course there are shades of that. because it's still bujold and she's still great#i guess i would just really like more novellas set in the earlier days of pen & des!#it feels like we moved on from that so very quickly and i would like to spend more time there#sigh maybe i gotta go write it for myself
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started planning out an actual real budget to see what sort of housing I could afford if I lived alone and it is. not great !
#i think i might still try to do it though#im purposefully not burning any bridges with my family so i can have a place to move back into if it doesnt work#but i make literally JUSTTT enough to afford it#with my retirement and life insurance i can afford to put away an extra $300 on top and have like $150 (MAYBE) left for the month#which. is less towards savings than i really want#because im trying to save for grad school a new car and a down payment#i did budget for $400 a month on groceries which doesnt include what i would get for food assistance or from food banks#which is a little bit more and helps me breathe a little#but this all hinges on my ability to find rental housing with all utilities included for 1k or under#there ARE some near me that have all or most included for less than that but obv until im actively looking to move out im not banking on any#sorry i know people dont like hearing money talk but i need to talk momey very frankly for 3-5 hours#after which i will promptly and unexpectedly burst into tears and thats how you know the conversation is over#im also an idiot dumbass and didnt really pay attention to how much i was spending on gas when i drove from the bigger city near me#(aka the place i will probably end up living)#i dont want to lower my savings though :( i like to save :( number go up#and also the idea that it could take me longer than 10 years to save up for a down payment fills me with teeth grinding rage#i want to live alone so badly i want to make it work#i have to remind myself that im rounding expenses up and paychecks down on purpose#but i also. dont know what the next step is?? i have it all saved already lmfao#i cant move out until august at the absolute earliest but like. because i live at home do i just. sit and wait? until i find a good place?#things happening in rapid succession scare me and it seems like the turn around for apartment touring -> moving in is very fast#i was 16 when i last moved idk how to do that!#but like. do they just. move the stuff in#yes this is exactly how moving works i know#i think really what i need to do is tell my parents in august that im going to move out#because if they're ready to move furniture then maybe the brain can take over and make decisions and sign contracts quickly#before the loser has time to even start getting freaky about things#any ghosts looking to be a second source of income
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they are similar
#painting is Interlude by Jeremy Lipking#my beautiful Neki#I must tell you all how beautiful he is waking up in the morning.#he tries to blink the drowsiness from his eyes but he gives up so quickly#he isn’t fully awake for another half hour or so!! but I rush ahead#he’ll sometimes do some stretches when he gets out of bed#common one is the Touka Stretch! he reaches his arms over his head and grabs the opposite elbows!#he has very pretty arms. pretty muscles. his complexion is very even but his skin is a little dry#Kaneki likes to leave the curtains undrawn overnight so when the morning comes it illuminates him so wonderfully!#I love how he looks bathed in light he is truly a marvel#I love when he wears t shirt and shorts or briefs to bed unbeatable boy combo#anyway when he leaves his room he might go take a pee or splash his face or something (usually it’s bathroom time) but immediately after#he sets up the kettle to boil so he can have his morning coffee#the coffee is extremely important!!!!!! it is what will actually wake him up!!!!!!!!#until this point his house could’ve been moved to a different planet and he wouldn’t even notice#this is a secret but sometimes while waiting for it to boil if he’s leaning against the counter and no one else is up#he’ll start drifting off again…… don’t tell anyone 🤫 it’s really cute#and when he sips his coffee.. he may do a little sigh…#he’s only up that early when he has somewhere to be though otherwise my boy will sleep in so late#and then he goes to sit with his friends or somewhere where he can watch them a bit while he gets himself together#maybe Banjou will look at his bed hair and say “huh. you look like a dandelion”#and it’s true he is the most wonderful dandelion there is because you don’t even have to make a wish#he alone is like every wish come true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my Kaneki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🌱🥰#kaneki time#kaneki ken
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me when i GET you
#medalist#really do love this manga but i wish it didn't move on so quickly#the time jumps are a little odd tho generally handled ok but so many characters get introduced then left behind#mike was the worst for that bc she really felt like the second rival/best friend character but then she's just gone#so it ends up feeling pretty lonely. inori's friendships are a little sad
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As always TikTok having shit takes on media
I just saw one where they say that Jentry didn't actually miss Kit and that she moved on to quicky
#jentry chau vs the underworld#chingen a su madre gente con takes pendejos de tiktok#Jentry MISSES Kit#SHE LITERALLY SHOW IT#LIKE THAT WAS THE REASON SHE WANTED TO GO TO THE UNDERWORLD ALONE#CAUSE SHE FEELS SAD AND KINDA GUILTY AND DOESNT WANT TO PUT ANYONE IN THE POSITION ON HAVING TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR HER#like they said she moved to quickly but really you have fo bare in mind there was a timeskip involved#and that she was busy looking and reconnecting with the MOM SHE THOUGH DIED A LONG TIME AGO#give my girl a break#she didnt do anything wrong#like yeah i get it#i also love Kit#im obssesed with him#but i dont want to see another female character getting the end of the stick cause they happened to be a favorite male character#like you dont have to mis characterize her character yo uplift him
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to me kiwami has a kind of microcosmos inside of it that i haven't felt in games other than 0 perhaps and it's profusely interesting to me. like the progression of time isn't real within the kamurocho that exists in this video game engine unless you decide it should be. you can halt everything and let kiryu smoke in a park and look at the neon lights and the moment stretches on. majima is everywhere and you bump into him inevitably and he, too, exists within this pocket of time where nothing else has to happen; it's just you and me and this confined slate of a concrete sea. the city breathes around you and takes you in its arms and you can lead kiryu to do fun things without a sense of rush. you forget the 10 billion is real and maybe it doesn't have to be until later. time passes within the story but you hardly notice it, pay any real mind to it, despite the pressing urgency. you find majima under a traffic cone and he and kiryu beat the shit out of one another and everything is at a peaceful standstill. kamurocho remains the same and instead of a cosmic horror it feels like an oasis where you can breathe and exist and remain for as long as you need to
#soda.txt#yakuza#i think y0's sotenbori has that feeling too when you're doing the cabaret club shit#kamurocho maybe less so#and the story ultimately reminds you constantly at how quickly everything is actually moving#kiryu only has a few days before the cops are getting his ass. there is no respite to be had#kiwami doesn't really do that. there's a type of rush sure but not a set time limit#y3-y5 have an entirely different feel to them with kamurocho + other spots#that prevents me from getting cozy with them#but i think the art direction with kiwami (i guess 0 too since same engine) creates a particular atmosphere#that makes room for a type of stillness i find calming and beautiful#i think it gets reflected in some kiwami-era fics too which is wonderful imo
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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I'M NEARLY UNEMPLOYED. you know what that means!
Time For Sonic OCs. God Help Us All
#grimoire scribbles#and just in case: this is GOOD unemployment. i'm quitting my job because i'm moving AND GOING BACK TO UNI!!!! WAHOOO#TOMORROW IS MY LAST DAY AT WORK!!! and uh it does actually feel. a little weird!#because despite it being laser focused on Not Being Good For Me#(needs me to go fast and process numbers quickly and Forcibly Be Social With Terrible/Annoying People and#simultaneously not structured enough to let me schedule physically or mentally but also too rigid to give me a sense of agency and#also just being plain unfulfilling due to a shitty inconsistent schedule and lack of menial work)#i still like. net positive had good times with it!! I really like closing the store!! I liked conditioning and organization!!#WHICH IS WHAT I APPLIED AND WAS ACCEPTED FOR BUT THEY SAID THEY NEEDED CASHIERS PRETTY PLEASE#and apparently i was one of the best!!! and that scares me because i assume it means they'd keep me in a cashier position forever!!!#Yes The Customers Love Me But I REALLY Do Not Love Them#and like. i still ended up friends with basically everyone else on front-end too lmao like im really gonna miss the gang#WAHHH but even they're not enough to offset the alternative#that my parents suggested (genuinely in a supportive manner) of RENTING MY OWN PLACE AND CONTINUING TO LIVE HERE#LIKE. DO YOU THINK I COULD LIVE OFF 12/HR PART TIME MOTHER AND FATHER. ARE YOU INSANE
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Moving house is a ritual of The Buried.
You pick up some of your things. You put them in a box. You do this for two days straight, and yet you still keep finding more things, how do you Own so many things? The boxes keep piling up around you, between the towers they build and the disassembled furniture laying in convenient-for-later inconvenient-for-now places on the floor you are struggling to walk through them. You've run out of boxes again, how have you run out of boxes, you thought you had so many. You know that in the next couple of days you are only going to have to take all the things Out of the boxes in a slightly different setting, and you've just remembered that you need to go through the forms and bills piling up your email inbox. Will there even be a point of unpacking the boxes? You'll only have to pack them again another time. Years, maybe months, maybe just days from now. You need to go out to get more boxes, but your belongings are strewn about the floors and the boxes form a wall before your door.
#I FUCKING HATE MOVING#its almost over. and it'll be worth it. and i'll be in this place for at least 5 years (i have said this every time i've moved)#im being dramatic i dont own that much stuff but it really does just feel like an undending amount#every time i start packing i think its going so quickly and every time i get to the end and there is just SO. MUCH. STUFF.#tma#the magnus archives#the buried tma#i've listened to ten eps of w359 and 2 malevolent. with music inbetween for Some sanity#it's been 9 hours straight
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didnt want to flood the dashboard but i couldnt in good faith leave these asks unthanked!! these were so sweet, i appreciate them all greatly
#oughh i didnt think this would be a particularly special day at all but all of the people around me have been so kind#and have put in effort to make this day actually special for me which has worked above and beyond#and absolutely it warms my heart that even people on tumblr-- who dont know me-- took time out of their day to wish me well#all of you are so nice! i cant say thank you enough. its the cherry on top of a really good day#i think about all that my friends and family put in to make me happy on a day i was 100% ready to acknowledge quickly and then move on from#and honestly i cant help but almost tear up hehe. reminds me how good people are#ask
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