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lolita-lollipop · 4 years ago

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Royal siren erasermic family? They like adopt you after you hatch from an egg bc they found you or something idk and take you back to the castle and make you their little princess or something cute and fluffy like that.

YANDERE SIREN ERASERMIC FAMILY X BABY PRINCESS READER

Shinso was just out and about, swimming through some forbidden areas he wasn’t supposed to be in, avoiding sharks, when he found an iridescent little ball under some rubble of a shipwreck, it made his gills tingle at the sweet aura that it emmited, he knew, that this creature, was something to protect. It was up until he saw something moving inside that he thought it was just some ancient treasure that would’ve died with this ship, he examined it closer, squinting his eyes, that’s when he realized, it was a Siren. A baby one at that, usually they hatched out of boring white eggs, the royal family’s were gold, but a shiny color changing white that combated the finest of jewels? Never, this little pip was special, he could feel it.

So he brought it back home, through his “balcony window”, debating wether or not he should tell his parents. As you know, he was somewhere where he was not supposed to be, and they would throw a fit. Then again, whatever this thing was, he couldn’t just keep it to himself, something was living inside it, and he wouldn’t know if something was wrong, so he has too. When he did, it came as a suprise that his parents weren’t mad, they jsut kindof stared at the orb, inhaling the addictive scent it gave off, the three huddled around it, aizawa carefully picking the Small thing up, it was only about the size of a pumpkin, extremely easy to pick up, yet he could still feel the heartbeat of a creature inside, it just had to be one of the sirenfolk , there isn’t any other explanation. He stared at it in confusion, noticing the small cracks staring to form.

Then a little hand popped through, and scared the shit out of all of them.

———

As it turned out, you were in fact a siren, a rare subtype of them, thought to have gone extinct long, long ago. The opal-looking scales that littered your arms and tail showed proof of it, this species were intensely more fragile, and weaker, that’s why they went extinct, as they couldn’t hear, and a small crabs pinch could cause major bone breaks, they were just too weak, yet so beautiful. That’s why they were coveted among the royal family. It only helped their growing obsession taht you were so cute.

It might’ve been an act of I’mpulse, but they just needed to have you as their own, of course, their word is law, so they could’ve just kept you, but they felt the need to make it official, they’d already had two pips, you’re just their third! It was simple, of course, you specific species could be born into sirenfolk families, it was just so rare that it had only happened once. You were just so cute, so fragile, just something so breakable, they just

H a d

To protect this tiny lil thing, it was instinctual to feel a protective pull over their little pups, and boy were they feeling that right now, you were special, not just any baby, but you were theirs. Their special little pup, nothing would ever lay a hand on you, ever. It had only be a few days, and word spreads through the underwater kingdom like a wave, from the servant maid who showed them how to take care of you, to the head maid, to a citizen, to the fisher, and eventually, by the end of the week, the whole kingdom was eagerly waiting to get a glimpse of their new princess.

And boy were they shocked to find out it was an opalite, the most rare of rare sirens in the world. Immediately after they had shown you to the world, sitting in a large clam as it was pulled by sharks, the citizens fell in love with you, maybe it was the fact that you were related to their beloved royals, maybe because the royal family would intensely glare at anyone who made negative comments, maybe it was the fact that a few of those people went missing, but who knows right?

You still hadn’t been able to open your eyes yet, and you won’t be able to hear them for a very long time, your hands were about the size of aizawas eye, and you looked closer to a fish than a human, as you hadn’t even developed your face yet, another plus to being the endangered species, note the sarcasm. And guess what? They found it so adorable, just their cute little baby, their little pup who can’t even protect themselves from the water around them. They just loved every part of your little body, from your tails, to your tiny little hands, to your shiny gills. It was all just so perfect- you were so perfect, and you were theirs, they were gonna protect you at all costs.

So of course they did, you were just so tiny right now, they knows practically anything could hurt you, so they opted to be around you all the time, only leaving to hunt for humans that would suffice for their tastes, drawling them in, determined because of that little smile of yours. You motivated them to do it, they were doing this for you. It have them all a sense of pride to have you feel safe with them, to rite them you. On their own terms.

Eri was constantly around you, being that she was a young one just like you, and you were her little sister! So she wanted to always be around while you made those echoing gurgling noises, or flapped your hands around in the water, she didn’t have responsibility in the kingdom yet, unless being cute is a job, so she can be with you jsut as much as she wants. Always sitting with you while you played with the floating pearls that they had arranged over your play area, watching you feel new things, holding you while you dozed off with adorable little bubbles, she always was with you.

Like now, she’s been with you all day, giving you little snacks, glaring at the guards at the door who always had their eyes on you… creeps. The sun was almost setting, and when you’re low down in the ocean it goes pitch black after a little while, and that’s when the jellyfish come out, tonight was one of the most special days out of the year in the northern oceans, the jellyfish festival, the one night a year when the rare white jellyfish would come out to say hi, leaving trails of shimmering sparkle behind them, painting the upper levels of the ocean a shiny silver. It just so happened that it occurred on your first birthday, a very small increment to sirens, as they live almost a billion years, but still a big accomplishment in their eyes. Look! Their little baby girl is turning one! How amazing!

“Do you see them hon? Look, they’re just starting to appear” Aizawa asked both you and eri calmly, swishing his hand through the salty water to pint at the new appearance of white and purple blobs, slowly flouncing their way overhead. Eri smiled up at it, her pointed teeth displayed in full view, her eyes shined at the view, not only of the huge jellyfish, but also at you, who was placed delicately in mics lap, sat up against his chest. Little bubbles escaped your mouth as you blew raspberries into the water, just making the family laugh.

“Mm-hmmm! Look! Look! How pretty! I wanna touch em! Can I touch em!” She yelled at her parents, excitedly pointing towards the jelly’s floating towards the surface, her hair floated behind her as she swished around, shinsho just chuckled, knowing that she eventually would try to touch them, and get zapped, again, like last year, and the year before, and the year before.

“No hon. Don’t do that to us again, you wanna wish your sister a happy birthday? She’s probably really exited!” Mic cheered, distracting his daughter from touching the jellyfish, yet again, meanwhile, you were happily bouncing up and down on his lap, enjoying the freedom of your arms, swishing them all over the place, grabbing the beads around your neck, jsut anything.

“But dad! Why not! It’s not like it’s hurt me or anything I’ll be fi-“ she begged, throwing her hands up in a small tempter tantrum, clearly forgetting her previous events of pain, and idiocy.

“No- nope no no, we aren’t doing this again, please honey, just please, remember last time, we had to clean up your wounds OUTSIDE-of water, you hate going to the surface remember? “

“Yeah but-“ she started speaking, but was soon cut off with a loud giggle, resonating through your lips, kindof rare for you, you hadn’t been very vocal outside of a few gurgles here and there, so it had each and every ones heads turning. That’s when they saw it, your beautiful eyes, shin sing in reflection to the jellyfish. Those beautiful little eyes of yours mesmerized all of them, a pitch black (for protection from the salt), with a shiny silver-like pupal, immediately after they opened, a burst of color filled your vision. You giggled and clapped your hands together with a small toothless smile, watching as the floaty creates went overhead, glittering with the light.

The absolutely gorgeous splash above was admired by the family form their own viewing post, the blues and whites combined to make a heavenly display. You could feel the cool sprinkles of light they emmited hitting your skin, smiling at the feeling, you splayed your hands out and flailed them against the water.

“Ohhhhhh- oh wow. Honey! Honey look! Her eyes opened! Look at taht! Aren’t you just so magical! Look at you, my little pup.” Mic smacked Aizawa over the chest multiple times, pointing at your clearly opened eyes, you just remained oblivious, staring up at all the new things around you, like.. everything! He turned you around to face him, letting you actually see his face for the first time, taking in the long yellow hair, the (also) black eyes, the ethereal face dotted with shiny yellow gills, him, you could see him!

“She’s developing smoothly, I’m glad. Awww, that’s pretty cute.” Aizawa replied to him, holding in his emotions, as soon as he met those new eyes of yours it’s like everything else disappeared, like the world itself didn’t exist, outside of him, and his fmaily. You took his breath away, or what you could call breath, so cute and innocent, such a small thing, that brings so much joy. Your little tail swished back and forth as you stared up at them happily, taking in the features of the people you’d learned to recognize by touch. Blowing raspberries out of your lips with a stream of bubbles.

“Awwwww! I’m gonna cry, she’s growing so fast! Soon she’ll be swimming in her own! In like 200 years! Too soon, way too soon. Comers baby- mm hmmm” mic spoke, knowing full well that even if he did cry, his tears would get sucked in by the ocean. He pulled you close, moving your head I’ve this shoulde is it would rest in the crook of his neck while he hugged you, eventually, the others joined in, eri practically flopping ontop (with careful regard for you of course).

They all stared at you, while you stared up at the “sky”, oblivious to their stares, to the ways they would growl at anyone who came close, to how they kept you from seeing anyone other than what they personally approve. After all, you are jsut their little pup, of course you wouldn’t notice! Their little pup… feels right to say that, it isn’t like you have any family waiting, they aren’t ever gonna come here.

And if they ever did?

Then, well, a few mermaids are going missing

———————————————————————————————————

Thanks for requesting, this was fun to write!

Have a great day today! Goodbye.

#yandere aizawa #yandere erasermic x reader #yandere erasmic #yandere erasermic #yandere erasermic family #yandere siren #yandere fantasy #yandere x child reader #yandere x reader #yandere platonic #platonic yandere #platonic obsession

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soft-boi-eli · 4 years ago

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OMG CAN I REQUEST CC!PHILZA INTRODUCING HIS ADOPTED EMO CHILD TO THE REST OF THE SBI/DSMP

Gender neutral pls they/them

Of course! I've been having a bit of shortages on ideas. So this is so fucking welcomed.

Anyways

Father CC!Philza x Emo! Reader

Pronouns:they/them

Summary:your old parents gave you up as a teen, overflowing you with emotions, causing depression, mood swings, and quite a bit of anxiety. When you got adopted by a man and a lady,both seemingly very kind and understanding. You felt happy. They didnt expect the sleepy bois to come and visit so soon.

Tw:anxiety attacks, mention of depression, loving clothes (not a tw but damn I sometimes miss my old fashion sense.), mention of trauma, swearing!

A huge new family

They dont blame their biological family. They knew that they were being overwhelming. Slowly shifting into a state of mind where fluffy black and colored hair was their favorite. Their outfits became more extravagant and their makeup took a turn for the darker. But they didnt have to put them up for adoption.

About a year in and out of foster families, a few months in an orphanage, then one more foster family. It was official. They were the new child of philza.

Your life got better. Both of them accepted your choice of clothes and makeup, even supported it!

They helped with everything in the first few weeks. Giving you space, letting you know that they were there. But you nor phil knew that three boys were heading down to visit.

So when you answered the door to see three faces demanding philza minecraft and one just looking awkward. They were also changing about him coming and join them you felt panic flood through you. Slamming the door on their face you held near your chest.

Your uneven breathing was heard by your father and he was quick to scoop you away from the door and have kristin answer the door.

He was sitting next to you hand lightly rubbing your shoulder and he guided you through the panic attack. "That's it. In through the nose. Hold it for a few second. Breathe out." His voice was calm.

It took less time to calm you down then you've ever had. "There ya go mate. Just keep breathing." He kept coaching you through you panic attack.

Kristen let the four in with their promise of keeping calm. Your shaking form brought major concern to the two older ones and confusion to the two younger ones. "(Y/n) I want to introduce you to the four behind us. Technoblade, wilbur, tommy, and tubbo. They are really good friends of mine." Nodding lightly you sat there, not wanting to turn because if you did the panic would strike harder. Remembering what happened before you parents left you.

A huge group of people basically shunned your for your choices and didnt want to take you in because 'trash like you' wasnt accepted in the family. But these two were different. Supporting you with your choices. How different were their friends? "Hey I think you shirt is cool! Who's on it?" A slightly hyper voice broke through the silence. " black veil brides." It was quite but a start. "Cool! So their a band right? What kind of songs?" The brown haired teen was trying to communicate with you. "Uhm. Rock." It had started small but you opened up to the teens. They were about you age and they didnt bash what you decided to like. The two older ones hung out with phil and Kristen. You three hung out in your room which was kind of softer then your appearance. It was to reflect a bit deeper into you. Bookshelves, a desk, reading corner, and a bed. Not fully knowing what to put in there.

But you, tommy, and tubbo were almost the best of friends when they had to leave. Techno and Wilbur it took a bit. After the two teens left you had came out of your room, no makeup, hair had all products removed, and your clothes changed from Jean's and a black veiled brides shirt to a black tee shirt, grey sweat pants, with a book in hand.

Before sleeping you just chilled in the living room, reading while basking in the presence of your adoptive parents. You did not expect wilbur and techno to still be there.

Plopping down on the couch next to phil you opened your book and tried to zone out, to get engulfed into the book. Nope. Two sets of eyes just watching you.

"So you like poems?" The book you were reading was a massive collection of poems. Looking up to the two on the couch you nodded lightly.

Looking back down you felt nervous. "Small talk is awkward." Looking up to the brown haired guy with an American accent you nodded. "Same." Once more you looked down at your book. You already had issues focusing but you tried to work though it. "What kind of poems are you favorite?" You sat there for a second. Trying to think of something that catches your attention.

"Mainly ones about trauma. It reminds me I'm not the only one in the word that went through something I have. It just makes it more interesting when I can relate." It was true. Sometimes the poems you liked ring a little to close to home.

"Good choice. It does really intrigue the audience when they can relate." Nodding you closed your book. "Especially when you relate. It's a must for me. Other wise I get turned away from it and just cant focus. But if I like it then I am just dead set on that poem."

You and techno bonded over poems and wilbur brought up some songs. "So what is you song preference?" "Hollywood undead, black veil brides, other then that its random. If I like the song it's in my playlist." With no other preferences with music other then it had to sound good to you there was honestly no judgement for other people's taste in music. There were little treasures from almost all genres.

For a while you talked about poems and songs. It honestly helped you feel safer with them. They didnt care about what you found intriguing. Or why. You even went on a rant and there was no care. They just listened.

But sadly they had to leave. Bit they promised that they would visit more. They were like the brothers you never had.

"So I see that you were able to talk to all of them." Nodding to your father figure you smiled "they were nice. Honestly. I cant wait to see them again."

He found joy in you wanting to hang out with his friends/technically children too.

Now meet the rest of the dream smp. It was very fast. Meeting almost all of them at the same time.

Phil was streaming and no one except for the sleepy bois knew about you. So you walked into his stream, book in hand and sat on the couch behind his set up. You liked having another person on the room. You just hated being alone. It gave you really bad thoughts. "Who's that behind you phil?" A random donation read out. Phil looking behind himself saw you in the corner reading and you normally did. "Ah that's my child. They like to have company. So sometimes they come in here to read." "Wait you have a child?! Since when?" The voice made you jump. Your book fell out of your hands and you looked at your father's screen. A green man with a weird white blob for a skin on minecraft. "Yeah. I took a break to pick them up from the orphanage." All hell broke loose. You ran while phil answered questions. You were not dealing with that. No way. Nuh uh. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Not today satan. It took phil bribing you with a trip to hot topic to get you to come back in. I mean hey you get to score a few shirts and hats. Might as well.

Meeting the server wasbt too bad. But the questions were weird. You didnt answer the ones you were uncomfortable about and they didnt care. Your boundries were up. And when tommy, tubbo, willbur, and techno revealed they knew of you they were yelled at. It was funny. Watching people say they should of said something. But it resulted in alot of compliments and Phil's chat loving you.

You were now the older sibling of the chat. Why? Cause chat said so.

When you come in from now on the chat is chanting for you. Just "(y/n)!" Over and over.

Your life? Crazy. But it became a bit better after you were living with your new parents. It was heaven.

I'm sorry if its awkward I'm not good at introductions. And I am tis but a sleep deprived human. I need sleep and so do you have a nice day and once more I'm sorry if this isnt up to what you wanted.

#dsmp philza #philza #philza x reader #phliza mcyt #mcyt fluff #mcyt

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misstrashchan · 5 years ago

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Since @im-the-king-of-the-ocean did a post about what TMA fear entities the RWBY characters are aligned/avatars of, I’ve been itching to do one myself because as a result of overlapping hyper fixations I think about this A LOT

The basic concept is that avatars in TMA become what they fear most or embrace a fear they have developed the most complex relationship with that plays into their motivations and drive as a character. What negative impulses they have to constantly fight themselves on, the shape of the monster that lives in their heart.

To quote the RWBY song Fear, “But our greatest fear will be realised, if we fall and lose ourselves to fear, we’ll become what we’ve feared all our lives” yeah that’s a very loose definition of what becoming an avatar is.

Since MAG s5 has proven that you can be an avatar of more than one fear, (Like Martin serving both the Eye and the Lonely) some of the RWBY characters might have more than one, but I’ll try to limit it to two to avoid getting complicated, but at the end of the day it’s all fear soup, we might categorise them according to Robert Smirke’s 14, but they all bleed into one another, like Gerard’s colour analogy in 111:

GERARD

I always think it helps to imagine them like colours. The edges bleed together, and you can talk about little differences: “oh, that’s indigo, that’s more lilac”, but they’re both purple. I mean, I guess there are technically infinite colours, but you group them together into a few big ones. A lot of it’s kind of arbitrary. I mean, why are navy blue and sky blue both called blue, when pink’s an entirely different colour from red? Y’know? I don’t know, that’s just how it works.

And like colours, some of these powers, they feed into or balance each other. Some really clash, and you just can’t put them together. I mean, you could see them all as just one thing, I guess, but it would be pretty much meaningless, y’know, like… like trying to describe a… shirt by talking about the concept of colour.

O-Of course, with these things it’s not a simple spectrum, y’know, it’s more like –

ARCHIVIST

An infinite amorphous blob of terror bleeding out in every direction at once.

GERARD

Now you’re getting it.

ARCHIVIST

Like colours, but if colours hated me. Got it.

Ruby Rose: The End. The fear of death itself, uncaring and unstoppable. Man this was hard to think about but I have a lot of Big Feelings about this one. Initially I really, really wanted to give Ruby the Eye simply because “can laser beam monsters with their eyeballs once they become powerful enough” and there is a fascinating overlap in how the Beholding powers and Silver Eyes function in the same way, (especially in how Cinder being exposed to the Silver Eyes fills her with an overpowering fear and reopens old wounds from trauma that have never properly healed; which is VERY similar in the psychological affect Jon’s has on his victims when he Beholds them) they’re both direct enemies/opposites to the Dark that expose their enemies/victims true nature and destroying them in the process at times. Only one feeds on fear and the trauma of others while the other feeds off of hope and love (Gerard says there’s no such thing as an avatar of hope and love, clearly he’s never heard of Ruby).

But nope! The fear and nature of the Beholding just doesn’t really match with Ruby at all. She isn’t driven by a need of knowledge, nor does she fear being watched, followed or having her secrets exposed. The End though? Death itself? Ruby outright states that’s her biggest fear in volume 5 to Oscar “It doesn’t matter if you’re standing in Salem’s way or not. She’ll kill anyone. And that, scares me most of all” to me Ruby’s fear of death itself is projected onto Salem here, I think. It’s uncaring, unstoppable, it doesn’t discriminate, and it could come for the people she cares about at any time. What matters though is the context she says this is in explaining her motives to Oscar. Her whole life has been shaped by her inability to process death, her relationship with grief, all starting with the tragic and abrupt death of her mother Summer as a child. She’s also surrounded by a lot of death motif too, the hooded cape, mostly wearing black, the giant grim reaper scythe. She’s the End.

Of course, her being an Avatar of the End means having to imagine the worst version of Ruby, one that is fully consumed by that fear. Avatars of the End are not malicious or destructive in nature but instead are… very apathetic. They don’t need to seek out victims to feed off of, nor do they have a ritual, because the End comes for all. And that fits with what Ruby would be like if that fear fully consumed her. It’s more or less established in vol6 during the apathy arc when she tries so hard to fight against their influence and how horrified she is when everyone around her falls prey to it. Giving up, not caring, accepting the inevitable demise of everyone and yourself? Ruby was terrified of that. And when looking at the vol8 opening where we see Ruby being dragged down by what looks like the arms of the apathy? She fights the hardest against it because it’s what she’s most afraid of, but because of her inability to process her grief properly is ultimately what will make her the most vulnerable to it when she’s pushed to her limit. All Salem needs to do to break Ruby is to remind her of Summer’s death. Not even what actually happened to her or how she died, just the death itself. Hell, the first time we see Ruby in the Red trailer, she’s at her mother’s grave, the first verse in Red like Roses that’s about Ruby “Red like Roses fills my dreams and brings me to the place you rest” in which we come to understand that the “Red like roses” lyrics in both part one and two of the song is referring to Summer’s abrupt death which Ruby apparently dreams about, which brings to mind Oliver Banks, our most prominent Avatar of the End, whose first statement to The Magnus Institute in 011 (underneath the fake alias of “Antonio Blake”) is concerning how he started dreaming about the deaths of others, which he didn’t begin to take seriously- until it was his father that he saw in his dream. Upon which Oliver realised how terrifying death really was and that fear began to consume him.

Okay I’ve probably gone off long enough about this but yeah. Ruby is the End. I mean, she also just got a song in the v7 soundtrack called Until the End

Weiss Schnee: The Lonely. The fear of isolation, of being completely cut off and alone or disconnected from the rest of society. I don’t really have to go too deeply into this one. It’s pretty cut and dry. “The loneliest of all”? And the Schnees basically are the Lukas family. Actually thinking about it the Lukas’ are actually somewhat better? They were the only ones in the whole of TMA that understood to raise a child to be an heir/avatar of their fear they needed room to reject it or actively choose it, even if that had an 80% success rate. Both are still awful though. (Damn, I can’t believe Jaques is an actively worse parent than an eldritch fear avatar)

When Weiss comes back to Atlas in v4 she’s more aware of her loneliness than ever, feels more aware of how she and atlas high society as a whole is disconnected from the rest of the world and its struggles. Whitley commenting on her being in her room for months implies she’s purposefully been isolating herself during this time as well, in order to avoid her family members “A pleasure to see you out of your room for a change” (sidenote; the fact that whenever Whitley shows up it always catches Weiss off guard, like she didn’t even notice his presence until he wanted her too. That’s. That’s a BIG Lonely thing. Given Peter’s siblings eventually ran away and he was the only heir I can imagine Peter being what Whitley would end up like if no one intervenes)

I’d say they might also be an possibility of the Stranger due to her struggling to find her own identity and inability to recognise oneself, but that can be an aspect of the Lonely too, as we see when Martin is in a house that is a domain of the Lonely in s5, and is unable to recognise himself in the mirror or recall who he is.

What I do have to say about this is it’s pretty interesting considering at this point in the show Weiss’ relationship with loneliness is actually somewhat healthy and something she can use to relate to and help others. She understands other people’s loneliness, that Blake in v5 needed space and in time she’d come back, and Weiss would be ready to be there for her when she did. And she also understands Yang’s loneliness in the same volume and that she needed someone there to support her.

“But you’re right. I don’t know loneliness like you do. I have my own version. And I bet Blake has her own version too.”

Speaking of Blake…

Blake Belladonna: The Stranger, I Do Not Know You. The fear that you cannot trust the perception of yourself or of others. The creeping sense that something isn’t right. I considered the Spiral, but the Stranger and the Spiral overlap more than any other two entities so I’m just gonna go with the Stranger. Especially with her semblance being a metaphor for disassociation, a coping mechanism for the abuse and gaslighting from her relationship with Adam being kind of the biggest thing here, since the Stranger and Spiral deal with that a lot. She literally creates false copies of herself, shadow clones which she uses to feint, distract and evade. As well as statues/mannequins when dust is involved, which the Stranger is known for manifesting. Her fighting style centres around misdirection, stealth and fooling people’s senses. She also used to be part of the White Fang, known within Sienna and Adam’s faction to wear the masks of monsters, appearing anonymous. And she literally disguises her identity as a Faunus in order to escape the White Fang and enroll at Beacon. Blake at first was hesitant to trust and rely on the others in the earlier volumes, to let her guard down, and when she finally did, the worst happened and her fears were proven right. In s2 Jonathan becomes more paranoid due to being marked and in close daily proximity to the Stranger (as Not-Sasha), much like how Blake in v2 becomes far more paranoid and less trusting of her team. She also does seek knowledge or answers even at the cost of her wellbeing, which is an Eye thing, but Blake’s desire for knowledge and answers isn’t really consistent or important enough with her character and motives beyond vol2 for me personally to consider her an Avatar of it, but I do think she is Eye aligned.

Yang Xiao Long- The Eye. The Ceaseless Watcher, It Knows You, as well as The Hunt. For the Eye, the first time we see Yang is her trying to find information on her mother, and we see Raven in bird form at the beginning too, as she has followed Yang her whole life, never actually interacting or doing anything for her, just… watching her. We learn in vol2 that her search for answers surrounding her mother has been a part of her entire life, almost overwhelmingly so to the point where in her childhood she and Ruby nearly lost their lives to the Grimm when she decided to journey to a shack in the woods she thought would lead to clues in finding her mother. She is adamant because of that experience to never let her need for the truth and answers control her, but it is a need that is always there. When she finally meets Raven, she’s encouraged to “start questioning everything she knows” which, she does. Questioning and knowledge is a big part of Yang’s character, even now. She’s the one who questions Ozpin the most, as well as Raven herself, and in the recent volumes is the one who challenges and questions Ruby’s leadership the most. There’s also a moment in vol7 of her drawing parallels between herself and Robyn and relating to her when she says “I won’t stop until I find out the truth” Her being the one to take the relic of knowledge is hugely significant in this too, especially given the context that she acquires it right after confronting her mother, getting the answers she’s searched for her whole life, holding an artefact possessing infinite knowledge, and she sinks to her knees and cries because there is no sense of closure, that anything is better because of her knowing who and what her mother is, and that her choosing this path might have cost her ever having a relationship with Raven (which is more Raven’s fault of course, and Yang knows that, but that’s not how she’s feeling at that exact moment).

For the Hunt, this one’s a bit simpler. The thrill seeker aspect to Yang’s character and motives in becoming a huntress and enjoying the chase and fighting in of itself. There’s another element in that as most Avatars of the Hunt start out as monster hunters who then develop the need to hunt and kill monsters, and gradually what qualifies as “monster” starts to blur more and more as they become consumed by the need and thrill of the chase and hunt itself. I bring this up because in vol3 Blake draws parallels between Yang and Adam after she is disqualified for attacking and injuring Mercury, worries with how familiar this all feels and that Yang might turn out the same as him (and just for the record Adam is a full blown Avatar of the Hunt, and the Slaughter too most like)

“I had someone very dear to me change. It wasn’t in an instant, it was gradual. Little choices that began to pile up. He told me not to worry. At first they were accidents, then it was self-defence. Before long, even I began to think he was right. This is all just… very familiar.” What Blake describes is… kind of similar to Basira’s relationship with Daisy with how Daisy, an Avatar of the Hunt, would justify to Basira and explain away how the violence and murders she committed as being for the greater good.

Also just one more, because I have to

Pyrrha Nikos: WebwebWEBWEB. Hoo boi Pyrrha is the Webbiest of Web Avatars as they come. Her whole character’s themes surrounding destiny, control and agency, feeling like her whole life had been decided for her, the fact she’d been blessed with incredible talents and opportunities meant she was supposed to be a huntress, the fact her talent as a world champion meant she was placed on a pedestal without her realising, becoming separate from the people who placed her there in the first place, that Ozpin and his inner circle tell her she has been chosen as the next Fall Maiden, but the method in which she must become so might result in the loss of her identity, that though they ultimately leave the choice to her do pressure and manipulate her into it. The idea of destiny being a predetermined fate you can’t escape is Pyrrha’s greatest fear, and rejects that idea in that she will not let her life be manipulated but will be the one to take control it instead, which is manifested in her having a semblance that she uses to subtly control and manipulate her surroundings. As Cinder puts it, “People assume she’s fated for victory when really she’s really taken fate into her own hands”.

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shiredded · 5 years ago

Text

A white animation student’s take on Soul and POC cartoons

This got long but there’s lots of pretty pictures to go with it.

Hi, I’m Shire and I’m as white as a ripped-off Pegasus prancing on a stolen van. Feel free to add to my post, especially if you are poc. The next generation of animators needs your voice now more than ever.

My opinion doesn’t matter as much here because I’m not part of the people being represented.

But I am part of the people to whom this film is marketed, and as the market, I think I should be Very Aware of what media does to me.

And as the future of animation, I need to do something with what I know.

I am very white. I have blue eyes and long blond hair. I’ve seen countless protagonists, love interests, moms, and daughters that look like me. If I saw an animated character that looks like me turn into a creature for the majority of a movie, I would cheer. Bring it on! I have plenty of other representation that tells me I’m great just the way I am, and I don’t need to change to be likable.

The moment Soul’s premise was released, many people of color expressed mistrust and disappointment on social media. Let me catch you up on the plot according to the new (march 2020) trailer. (It’s one of those dumb modern trailers that tells you the entire plot of the movie including the climax; so I recommend only watching half of it)

Our protagonist, Joe Gardner, has a rich (not in the monetary sense) and beautiful life. He has dreams! He wants to join a jazz band! So far his life looks, to me, comforting, amazing, heartfelt, and real. I’m excited to learn about his family and his music.

Some Whoknowswhat happens, and he enters a dimension where everyone, himself included, is represented by glowing, blue, vaguely humanoid creatures. They’re adorable! But they sure as heck aren’t brown. The most common response seems to be dread at the idea of the brown human protagonist spending the majority of his screen time as a not-brown, not-human creature.

The latest trailer definitely makes that look pretty darn true. He does spend most of the narrative - chronologically - as a blob.

but

That isn’t the same as his screen time.

From the look of the trailer, Joe and his not-yet-born-but-already-tired-of-life soul companion tour Joe’s story in all of its brown-skinned, human-shaped, life-loving glory. The movie is about life, not about magic beans that sing and dance about burping (though I won’t be surprised if that happens too.)

Basically! My conclusion is “it’s not as bad as it looked at first, and it looks like a wonderful story.”

but

That doesn’t mean it’s ok.

Yes, Soul is probably going to be a really important and heartfelt story about life, the goods, the bads, the dreams, and the bonds. That story uses a fun medium to view that life; using bright, candy-bowl colors and a made-up world to draw kids in with their parents trailing behind.

It’s a great story and there’s no reason to not create a black man for the lead role. There’s no reason not to give this story to people of color. It’s not a white story. This is great!

Except...

we’ve kind of

done this

a lot

The Book of Life and Coco also trade in their brown-skinned cast for a no-skinned cast, but I don’t know enough about Mexican culture to say those are bad and I haven't picked up on much pushback to those. There’s more nuance there, I think.

I cut the above pics together to show how the entire ensemble changes along with the protagonist. We can lose entire casts of poc. Emperor's New Groove keeps its cast as mostly human so at least we have Pacha

And while the animals they interact with might be poc-coded, there’s nothing very special or affirming about “animals of color.”

So, Soul.

Are we looking at the same thing here?

It’s no secret by now that this is an emerging pattern in animation. But not all poc-starring animated films have this same problem. We have Moana! With deuteragonists (basically co-protagonists) of color, heck yeah.

Aladdin... Pocahontas... The respect those films have for their depicted culture is... an essay for another time. Mulan fits here too. the titular characters’ costars are either white, or blue, and/or straight up animals. But hey, they don’t turn into animals, and neither do the supporting cast/love interests.

Dreamworks’ Home (2015) is also worth mentioning as a poc-led film where the deuteragonist is kind of a purple blob. But the thing I like a lot about Home is that it’s A Nice Story, where there’s no reason for the protagonist to not be poc, so she is poc. Spiderverse has a black lead with a white (or masked, or animal) supporting cast. But, spiderverse also has Miles’ dad, mom, uncle, and Penny Parker.

I’d like to see more of that.

And less of this

if you’re still having trouble seeing why this is a big deal, let’s try a little what-if scenario.

This goes out to my fellow white girls (including LGBTA white girls, we are not immune to propaganda racism)

imagine for a second you live in a world where animation is dominated to the point of almost total saturation by protagonist after protagonist who are boys/men. You do get the occasional woman-led film, but maybe pretend that 30 to 40 percent of those films are like

(We’re pretending for a second that Queen Eleanor was the protagonist, because I couldn’t think of any animated movies where the white lady protagonist turns into and stays an animal for the majority of the film)

Or, white boys and men, how would you feel if your most popular and marketable representation was this?

Speaking of gender representation, binary trans and especially nonbinary trans people are hard pressed to find representation of who they are without the added twist of Lizard tails or horns and the hand-waving explanation of “this species doesn’t do gender” But again, that’s a different essay.

Let’s look at what we do have. In reality, we (white people) have so much representation that having a fun twist where we spend most of the movie seeing that person in glimpses between colorful, glittering felt characters that reflect our inner selves is ok.

Wait, that aesthetic sounds kind of familiar...

But I digress. Inside Out was a successful and honestly helpful and important movie. I have no doubt in my mind that Soul will meet and surpass it in quality and and in message.

There is nothing wrong with turning your protagonist of color into an animal or blob for most of their own movie.

But it’s part of a larger pattern, and that pattern tells people of color that their skin would be more fun if it was blue, or hairy, or slimy, or something. It’s fine to have films like that because heck yeah it would be fun to be a llama. But it’s also fun to not be a llama. It’s fun to be a human. It’s fun to be yourself. I don’t think children of color are told that enough.

At least, not by mainstream studios. (The Breadwinner, produced by Cartoon Saloon)

It’s not like all these mainstream poc movies are the result of racist white producers who want us to equate people of color with animals. In fact, most of those movies these days have people of color very high up, as directors, writers, or at the very least, a pool of consultants of color.

These movies aren’t evil. They aren’t even that intrinsically racist (Pocahontas can go take a hike and rethink its life, but we knew that.) It’s that we need more than just the shape-shifting narratives of our non-white protagonists.

It’s not like there isn’t an enormous pool of ideas, talent, visions and scripts already written and waiting to be produced. There is.

But they somehow don’t make it past the head executives, way above any creative team, who make the decisions, aiming not for top-of-the-line stories, but for the Bottom line of sales.

When Disney acquired Pixar, their main takeover was in the merchandising department. The main target for their merchandise are, honestly, white children.

So is it much of a surprise

that they are more often greenlighting things palatable for as many “discerning” mothers as possible?

I saw just as many Tiana dolls as frog toys on the front page of google, so don’t worry too much about The Princess And The Frog. Kids love her. But I didn’t find any human figures of Kenai from Brother Bear, except for dolls wearing a bear suit.

So. What do I think of Soul?

I think it’s going to be beautiful. I think it’s going to be a great movie.

But I also think people of color deserve more.

Let’s take one more look at the top people who went into making this movie.

Of the six people listed here, five are white. Kemp Powers, one of the screenplay writers, is black.

It’s cool to see women reaching power within the animation industry, but this post isn’t about us.

We need to replace the top execs and get more projects greenlit that send the message that african, asian, latinix, middle eastern, and every other non-white ethnicity is perfect and relatable as the humans they were meant to be.

Disney is big enough that they can - and therefore should - take risks and produce movies that aren’t as “marketable” simply because art needs to be made. People need to be loved.

Come on, millennials and Gen Z. We can do better.

We Will do better.

TLDR: A lot of mainstream animation turns its protagonists of color into animals or other creatures. I (white) don’t think that’s a bad thing, except for the fact that we don’t get enough poc movies that AREN’T weird. Support Soul; it’s not going to be as bad as you think. It’s probably gonna be really good. Let’s make more good movies about people of color that stay PEOPLE of color.

#soul #pixar #disney #poc #animation #long post #shire screams

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vannahfanfics · 5 years ago

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Hiya dear! Okay so for the Tokka requests here’s the first one lol. We all know Sokka is an AMAZING*cough* artist. How about a little story of Sokka teaching Toph how to illustrate? Perhaps the results are a LITTLE bit abstract 🤣

Hey, dear! Finally managing to get through a couple of requests ~sigh~ So here’s one of yours! :)

Category: Friendship Fluff

Characters: Sokka, Toph

Requested By: @deliazeedork

Scritch scritch. Scritch scritch.

Toph’s ears perked at the light scratching noises floating across the breeze. The sounds mingled with the rustling leaves of the trees surrounding them and the babbling brook that extended just five and a half yards from where she was perched on her sleeping bag, nibbling on some jerky. Occasionally, Katara and Aang’s grunts and yells eclipsed the faint scraping; the two splashed about in the small river practicing their waterbending. Toph had grumped that the Avatar ought to be practicing his earthbending, but the flighty individual had replied that one always ought to review old knowledge lest it be forgotten. Damn philosopher.

Scritch scritch scratch.

The persistent scratching yanked Toph out of her slightly unflattering thoughts of her pupil. Toph could not “see” from her current position, so she shoved the rest of the jerky in her mouth and stood up to press the soles of her feet against the grass. The soft, pillowy green stuff and the air pockets bubbling in the loamy soil always eclipsed her sight somewhat, turning the standard crystal-clear vibration images into grainy static. She grimaced as she wiggled her toes, concentrating hard on the small vibrations trembling the forest layer’s dirt particles. After a minute, a hazy image of Sokka reclined underneath a tree scrawling avidly on a paper pad materialized into view.

Toph’s jaw worked against the jerky as she stared through her mind’s eye at the boy. From the way he hunched over the pad, drawing the pencil across the parchment in alternating long, smooth strokes and quick little flicks, Sokka was deeply absorbed in his work. However, Toph was bored out of her mind just sitting there chomping on the dehydrated meat, so she wasted no time in tromping over to the Water Tribe boy.

“Oi. Whatcha doodlin’?” she quipped as she padded across the grassy clearing to him. She kept careful track of his vibrations to avoid accidentally tripping right over him in her slightly impaired state. In the gray haze of her reconstructed image of the world, she saw Sokka glance up before returning his eyes to his work.

“Just the river and the trees,” he responded simply. The scritching sounds echoed much louder in her ears now that Toph stood by him. She thought she would find them irritating, but the gentle scraping of the soft lead against the parchment was surprisingly soothing. Without asking permission to breach the aura of solitude encapsulating him, Toph plopped down next to him and reclined against the sturdy trunk of the oak tree. Though she could not see the leaves quivering in the breeze above her head, as they were too high up for their vibrations to reach the sensitive soles of her feet, she could hear them dancing eagerly along the streams of wind rustling their green skirts. Toph’s mouth twitched.

She knew they were green because that’s what everyone said, but what did green look like? Sokka’s eyes were blue, too, according to what she’d heard, but what did blue look like? With a glance down, she noticed that Sokka actually switched between several pencils piled neatly beside his thigh, which shifted slightly each time that his fingers rifled through them to choose the right one. Those must be colored pencils, she reasoned. However, to her, they just looked like nondistinct gray-black sticks. As her mood soured, a frown tugged down on her lips.

Toph didn’t dwell on her blindness often, but it was times like these where she bitterly wished she were normal, at least for a few minutes.

“Toph?” Sokka blinked. She twitched as he called her name, but continued to keep her sightless gaze on her lap.

“Sokka…” Her voice joined the flutters of the greenery around them, a dandelion seed plucked from her mouth to spirit away into the distance. “Would you… Describe it to me?”

Toph couldn’t see the expression on her face, but she imagined from the prolonged silence that he stared incredulously at her. Perhaps he had his hand clamped over his lips, struggling to contain snickers of derision. Toph felt sudden anger bubbling up inside her blood. Just as she clenched her fists and opened her mouth to shout, “Fine! Then don’t!”, Sokka interrupted her.

“Sure, Toph.”

The ire dissolved from Toph’s bones like snow under the heat of the first spring sun. Her cheeks warmed as she felt Sokka shift beside her, his leg brushing against hers for a brief moment. The embarrassment clouded her mind for a moment, nearly preventing her from hearing Sokka’s description of the surrounding area.

“Okay, so…” he began with a sweeping gesture at the open space. “About five yards- maybe six?- is the river-”

“No,” Toph interjected sharply. When Sokka flinched, she blushed darker; she hadn’t meant for her words to sound so harsh. She fidgeted uncomfortably and cleared her throat, willing her voice to be softer this time. “Not that. Your drawing. I want to ‘see’ your drawing.” Another confused silence settled between them. Toph’s cheeks burned hotter than the sun now; if the tension had melted from her body before, it was now baking back in. “I-I know that you’re drawing, but I can’t ‘see’ it. All I see is a blank piece of paper.”

“Oh,” he said simply with a glance down at the drawing pad. With a quiet, “hmmm,” he rubbed his chin thoughtfully; she knew so because his right arm jumped lightly against her deltoid with every little stroke of his index finger across his chin. “Okay! Here, I have an idea.”

Before she could object, Sokka scooted up against her and grabbed her left arm. Her body tensed immediately, but Sokka ignored her rigid form to tug her arm over the drawing pad. A pleasant hum rumbled from his chest, followed by a self-satisfied snicker, probably appreciating his genius before he’d even conducted his little experiment. Gently, Sokka guided the pads of her fingers down onto the soft paper. Toph sharply inhaled, instantly mystified by the pencil wax’s very subtle indentations on the white page.

“So, this is the river,” Sokka began. He guided her fingers in a winding pattern over the swirling bands decorating the page with tender pressure against her wrist. “Running water has a characteristic pattern, you know,” he smirked amusedly, “like flowing ribbons running side-by-side.” Toph’s eyebrows cinched as she struggled to relate the foreign feelings triggering the nerve endings in her fingers to his words. She managed to form the image of streaming bands enclosed within the boundaries of a bank, swirling together and flowing from left to right. Though likely dramatized, Toph found the picture incredibly soothing.

“And then, on the far side, there are tons and tons of oak trees.” With a simple flick of her wrist, her fingers jumped over the page to land on the sketched bank. Sokka guided her fingers to trace them up the barked trunks to the stretching branches and the ovoid leaves bunched around the stems. “The branches split off from the trunk, and more from those and more from those, all the way down to skinny little twigs. That’s where the leaves spring from, shiny and waxy-looking, thousands of ‘em! They fill up the tree to make it look, umm, kind of like broccoli?” Toph snorted at the image of broccolis standing at attention next to the pretty river she’d created in her head.

“Yeah, I know, it isn’t the best comparison. Anyway, the light filters in between the leaves, and it creates a dapple effect on the ground. Imagine little blobs of light just playing over the grass, swaying with every gust of wind.” Toph had to admit that the premise was sublime; broccoli-looking trees aside, she imagined lighter areas near her river, small smears bobbing back and forth as the leaves danced back and forth in the breeze.

“On this side,” Sokka continued, pulling her hand to his illustrated near shore, “a patch of wildflowers bloom a little off the bank. Their flowers are small-,” He traced the little bunches of petals with the tip of her index finger. “-with pollen patches in the middle. Actually…” He leaned over to pick up something. Toph gasped as she felt something incredibly soft ghost over her hand. “Here’s one. Feel it.” Carefully, afraid to damage the delicate structure, she turned the plucked flower over and over in her hand. Tactile differentiation allowed her to form a three-dimensional image of it in her mind. However, instead of populating just that small area with the little buds, she painted the entire grassy field with them.

Tears welled up into the corners of her eyes. When she blinked, her lashes dislodged them and sent them rolling down her cheeks.

“Beautiful. It sounds beautiful, Sokka,” she murmured. Sokka’s arm jumped against hers again as he released a bashful chuckle.

“I’m sure whatever you’re imagining is far more artistic than what I’ve got,” he sighed wistfully with a glance down at his drawing. Toph shook her head, causing Sokka to flash her a crooked smile, which she could just barely see with her limited vibration feeling. “Heh. You’re in an awfully good mood today.”

“Don’t push it,” she growled, hand snapping up to yank hard down on his earlobe. He yelped, immediately slapping his hand to his ear to gingerly cradle the now aching tissue. However, a serene smile decorated her face.

Maybe being blind had its problems, but she’d much rather Sokka describe his art to her like this instead of merely being able to see it. It came alive in her mind, the flowing water and dancing leaves and little flowers, a world inside her own cognizance that no one else could see. All that brought forth by Sokka’s simple drawing and poetic words.

“You think I could draw?” she asked, turning to blink curiously at him. Sokka let out a small “urk!” before grabbing his child pensively once more. With an affirmative grunt, he smiled again and flipped the drawing pad to a new page. Toph stretched out his legs as he leaned sideways to place the drawing pad in her lap. When he held out a pencil, she plucked it from his grasp, feeling heat rise to her cheeks when their fingers brushed slightly.

“Okay, Toph. Let’s start with the river…”

With her sightless eyes fixed on the blank canvas before her, Toph glided her hand across the page as Sokka voice instructions in her ear. Occasionally he’d reach over to adjust her movement, demonstrating it with passive motion of her wrist and fingers to allow her to memorize the muscle action. Guided by Sokka’s gentle direction, Toph penciled the landscape around them bit by bit. When she set the pencil down to stroke the parchment with the pads of her fingers to trace the tenuous grooves and peaks of the wax pressed into the fibers, Toph was delighted. She could re-create almost the same image, meaning that her drawing was an actual landscape and not just senseless scribbles.

“Thanks, Sokka.”

“No problem! I’m a little jealous, honestly. Keep it up, and you’ll replace me as the gang’s artist, and then what do I have? Only my devilishly handsome looks and impeccable wit?” he sighed dramatically, placing the backside of his hand against his forehead in a gesture of woe. Toph laughed loudly.

“Nope. You’ll just be our group idiot.”

“Gee, thanks,” he huffed and elbowed her slightly in the ribs. Toph squealed at the ticklish sensation that bloomed in the intercostal spaces as his elbow rubbed against the curved bones. With a broad smile, she regarded her drawing again.

“Can I keep it?”

“Of course,” he said, taking the drawing pad from her. She heard a loud ripping sound, and then the flapping of the paper as he set it down on her lap. She hurriedly gripped the edge between her fingers, lest the wind blow it away. “An artist deserves to be able to marvel their masterpiece anytime they choose.” Toph smiled happily and hugged the illustration to her chest, with a careful amount of pressure to avoid crinkling it.

Yes, she would marvel her masterpiece because it was just another reminder that Toph was capable of anything and everything despite her eyes. A particularly prominent gust of wind blew through the area, causing the leaves and limbs above to shake wildly. As their cacophony filled the air, Toph smiled widely, imagining their wild quivers in her mind.

Normal sight was so overrated.

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

#toph beifong #sokka #tokka #avatar #atla #avatar: the last airbender #atla fanfiction #avatar fanfiction

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phanlight · 4 years ago

Text

Imagine Living Like a King Someday

prompt: Southview Boarding School isn’t a castle and Phil Lester isn’t royalty, but he has everything. His father owns the school, he’s popular, has the best room, gets all the best treatment – there are very few things that aren’t handed to him on a platter. Dan is a cleaner/Phil’s personal maid there, and he isn’t as lucky. Everyone seems to take an aversion to the outsider, including Phil (at first).

[CHAPTER MASTERPOST]

me thinkin i’d cleared this fic up w the last chapter til i re-read a bunch of it and HOOOOO BOI why was i so obsessed with plot twists without the fkin plot

I am determined to make this all add up and work together but it may take a few chapters also I still have no idea how this is going to end LOL

[ao3 link]

Southview owns a lot of land.

It spreads out in blanketed acres of green, field upon forest upon meadow; miles of emerald patchwork. The building itself, founded somewhere in the fourteenth century apparently, makes up only a fraction of the private greenery Phil has been calling home for the past decade.

Habitatually speaking, it’s impressive. To be able to call such rich halls, such polished corridors and winding mahogany stairs, ever spiraling further and further below his house, his own dwelling; is something he struggles to grasp. He supposes every other student currently residing here may find some relation to a certain degree – but to look at a winding cobbled path and every single brick completing every wall, to name the clock tower chiming every high-clouded noon into existence anything remotely of an heirloom – isn’t anything his soul will allow him to process. He doesn’t see it changing anytime soon.

He stares at the wall-to-wall bookshelves lining every corridor brimming with ancient knowledge, medieval tales and just about every participle of the literary canon. There are strict rules against removing any books from their respective shelves with dire consequences if unobliged (absolutely ridiculous, Phil thinks – who in their right mind would consider reading a punishable offence? They’re there to be read.) He and Dan had taken it upon themselves to create a discreet enough rule-breaking method; choosing the dead of night to tiptoe through long, hallowed corridors devoid of light and sound and people and life, all whispers and giggles and cold interlocked fingers, sleepy eyes scanning fraying ladders of spines, whispered-yet-echoey assessments over which would be least missed for however many hours.

The candles up above, though only illuminated during the seasonal months, drip hardened wax onto the stone walls covering every inch of interior; something he otherwise never would have seen anywhere else in this time, let alone place. The beams hang dark and gnarled, curving across every roof with chapel-like grace.

He’s lucky, and he knows it.

Why, then, does he feel like a bird in a cage? Why can he sense the wings, feathered promises of freedom, hit against iron bars whenever he outstretches? This place is becoming too small, he decides. Seven years walking the same grounds, with the same windows and the same views no matter how creative he gets with his detours. The same faces, same conversations with all the same values; with only sporadic weeks of the outside world in between.

He wonders what he would have done had Dan not entered the scene. Wherever the place in his mind, he knows madness would reside. He only feels a breath away from it now.

He blames it on his surroundings, pushing down the rise of unease that jumps through his stomach. It’s got to be that.

It doesn’t subside.

“Are you okay?” he hears a voice soften beside him.

He can’t lie. Not to Dan.

He shuts his eyes and realizes he’s been staring at that Oscar Wilde painting for way too long. The afterimage burns his retina in every shade of negative. His hair deep black on canvas now chalk white behind the eyelids. His eyes look like caves.

“I don’t know,” is the closest to the truth he can get. “I feel weird.”

Dan’s entire stance changes. Concern floods his eyes and he’s suddenly upright

“Why? What’s up?”

“I don’t-…” he shakes his head in defeat. “I really don’t know. That’s why I’m so-…” his racing mind interrupts him. So what? So comfortable, yet so ill at ease? It makes no sense.

This should be bliss. Curled up on a beanbag with his favourite person somewhere on the third floor of the library behind a wooden disguise of bookshelves and tall tables. Their ‘spot’ lies in a convenient nook no other soul seems to have yet discovered – a definite perk of being the son of the owner is having premium, extensive knowledge of every single crack and avenue this place has to offer; surveillance included.

That’s how the undercroft became a meeting point in the first place, Phil suddenly remembers as his stomach falls through three stone library floors.

It was him.

He had come up with the idea. He had planned the safest night-time route, locating every surveillance camera and possible risky window. And he, funnily enough, was the one who had spent an hour talking the three of them into it to begin with – if he strains his mind far back enough he can recall even Liam having doubts. Many of them, actually.

“Come on,” a harsher, younger and definitely more obnoxious version of himself had urged.

“No way,” Liam was the first to say. Freddie and Violet hadn’t been overly keen, but it was Liam who was adamant.

He feels sicker.

“What’s bothering you?” Dan closes the book they were giggling at no longer than forty seconds ago and turns his attention completely to him.

His heart is thudding now. He hasn’t given any of that any thought whatsoever since it happened; all anxiety surrounding the situation having been newly dissipated by evenings of laughter and love and-

Had it been dissipated? Or merely masked? Ignorance by will or by proxy?

“Phil?”

Had he spent all these passing months pointing fingers, dodging the blame, deflecting everything like a house of mirrors when this whole thing, this entire time, had actually been his fault?

He snaps out of himself and realizes it’s Emily Dickinson now burning behind the eyelids.

It’s too much. Even the oil portraits, beautiful as they are (and original too, allegedly), are all the same faces. It’s all the fucking same.

“We need to get out of here.”

Dan frowns. “Huh?”

“We need to get out of here,” he repeats, and stands up immediately. The book that was on his lap catapults to the floor, landing outstretched in a papery mess.

“Wait-“ Dan scrabbles around behind him, rescuing the book and smoothing out the newly crumpled pages. His own expression creases a little with the paper.

Phil doesn’t. He can’t. His vision is a tunnel and it’s only blind panic propelling him forward, past shelves and students and voices he can only barely decipher. Every cell in his body, every single drop of blood and beat of his heart is drilling the same message into his mind.

Get out.

It’s only until he feels the slap of winter air against his damp forehead he realizes he’s outside. He stops sweating and starts shivering, clutching the corner of the stone wall as if gravity be seconds away from disappearing and flinging him into the night sky.

His chest feels like lead. Each breath comes heavy, deep; never quite enough despite each gasp filling up his lungs like he’s drowning on air alone. His stomach feels like someone has clawed it out with blunt, bare fingers.

The huge door flaps open and a tiny figure runs out.

He can barely see. His vision still exists in blobs and grains, like someone turned up the contrast too much but also turned it right down completely. What’s happening to him?

“I’m sorr-“ he gasps, but Dan hushes him.

“Focus on your breath,” his voice is calm but firm. He’s unaware of the soft grip on either shoulder until he sees two arms outstretched in front of him.

Phil tries to, but each gasp gets stuck in his throat.

“In through the nose, out through the mouth,” Dan guides him, demonstrating. Each breath seems so smooth, so calculated. Phil doesn’t want to think how often he’s had to do this.

His heart is still hammering, but he manages to comply.

“Imagine you’re blowing on a candle,” Dan continues. “But don’t blow it out.”

It’s a challenge to focus when his mind is running one million mines a minute, but Phil shuts his eyes and eventually the swirling grain begins to subside. He’s still breathing way too hard and it’s probably enough to blow out a ninety-seventh birthday cake, but Dan’s encouragement doesn’t waver.

“You’re getting there,” he says, giving his shoulders a gentle squeeze before dropping his grip completely. “Are you okay with that, by the way?” he gestures toward his hands. “Fuck, sorry- I should have asked- but when I’m having a panic attack it usually helps to keep me like-… centred.”

“No, it’s-…” Phil releases a shaky breath. “It helps. Thank you,” his eyes flutter shut when he feels two warm hands on his shoulder. He’s already feeling a fraction calmer.

“No need to thank me,” Dan says, his voice like velvet.

His eyes fly open. “Panic attack?”

Dan’s own are soft. “I think that’s what you’re having.”

His heart is still thudding, but at a marginally dropped pace. He’s never experienced anything like that before. Shit, is that what it’s like?

His vision has almost completely cleared; certainly enough to make out Dan’s silhouetted form in the amber glow of the lamp post.

“Is this really what you go through?” his voice is reedy, hoarse. All he can focus on is the boy inches away from his face.

Dan nods quietly. “Can be up to five times a day. Once it was twenty.”

He feels like crying. However much adrenaline there had been ripping through his veins had melted away; albeit only slightly, but the thought alone of this being a daily endeavor makes him want to physically remove his central nervous system himself. The thought of enduring such pain not only on a daily basis but multiple, only to emerge with a smile and with enough capacity to help others with the same issue-

Dan is an angel.

He doesn’t deserve him, his mind cries. He really doesn’t. He doesn’t.

“Deep breaths,” he reminds him, and it’s only then he realizes he’s hyperventilating again.

“Fuck,” he curses, slowing his chest down. He remembers the candle and closes his eyes again.

“You’re doing great,” Dan whispers when his breathing softens. “You’ve only blown out about seven this time. You’re on your eighth.”

He huffs out a shaky laugh, his heart melting into a puddle. As if he’d been counting.

“Ah,” Dan grins. “Maybe ninth, now.”

“Thank you,” he sighs, still trembling. He can’t tell if it’s temperature or panic-related anymore, but he doesn’t think he cares. He doesn’t have the capacity to right now.

“Come on,” Dan pulls him into a hug, arms wound tight around the waist as if there be no intention, no need to let go. “You’re okay.”

“How can you deal with that?” he says, not bothering to mask the crack in his voice.

“I have my ways,” he says as smoothly as his voice can allow, but Phil feels him gulp. Feels the quick jump of his throat against his shoulder.

The nausea returns.

“Ow, fuck-“ Dan snaps his fingers up from the drawer. “Bastard thing.”

“It wants your fingers more than I do,” Phil mumbles, then coughs on a mouthful of Mountain Dew.

Droplets fly everywhere.

"Phil!” Dan’s jaw drops when a few darken his trousers. He’s more than used to the other boy’s frequent laughter at his own jokes, but that one wasn’t even funny. “For fuck’s sake. So not only am I in pain, I’m wet too?”

“In pain and wet?” A voice pops up from around the corner, sending a jolt through the pair of them. “Phil, you naughty bastard, what have you been doing to the poor guy?”

“Oh, you f-“ Phil clutches his chest, his heart hammering. “Are you ever going to stop doing that? I had my first panic attack today. I don’t want another.”

“You’re saying that like it isn’t my plan,” Noah raises an eyebrow and slides past.

“Come in,” Phil gestures sarcastically.

“Leave your door open,’ he retaliates with equal sarcasm, blowing him a kiss. He plops himself down on the revolving chair and takes a token spin. He’s frowning on the other end of the 360 degrees, the other half of the sentence only just registering. “Shit, are you okay? What brought it on?”

“I am now,” Phil’s eyes flicker to the other company, mopping his trousers with a clump of tissue. “Dan got me through.”

He doesn’t deliberately avoid the latter question, but it’s certainly no accident.

“Candle trick works wonders, I’m telling you,” Dan says without turning around, still dabbing at the stain.

“It does,” Noah agrees, picking up Phil’s empty pen holder. He usually lasts a record of ten whole seconds in his room before finding something nearby to fiddle with. “It got me through the Death of a Salesman production, that’s for sure. Christ, I was a mess,” he shudders. “The four-seven-eight trick is good, too,” he adds.

“Four seconds in, hold for seven, exhale for eight,” the other boy echoes. “In through the nose, out through the mouth. You press your tongue on the roof of your mouth just behind your teeth, too.”

“Really?” Phil’s eyes dart between the pair of them. Is this something he’s going to have to get used to?

“It’s meant to recalibrate the nervous system. Apparently Leonardo DiCaprio uses it,” Noah adds.

“Wonder if it would have helped on the Titanic,” Phil raises an eyebrow.

“The fucking boat would have sank anyway,” Noah cackles. “The four-seven-eight is good, but it can’t demolish icebergs, babe.”

“It has its limits,” Dan adds, plopping the tissue in the bin and heading for the bed. A quick "you okay now?" is mouthed as soon as Noah takes another spin on the chair.

Phil nods and gives his hand a little squeeze, praying he hasn’t noticed the sweat.

“So,” Noah spins again, eyes to the ceiling, before muttering a “fuck that” and leaping up off the chair. He stumbles around for a handful of seconds, clutching the desk. “What have you boys been up to, then?”

“What, since this afternoon?” Phil says. He’d only seen him about five hours ago.

“Yeah. Anything could have happened,” Noah replies, dizzily plonking himself down on the bed next to Dan with such force the shorter boy bobs upward. Phil splutters.

“That was- oh my god, that was adorable,” he gasps delightedly. “Do it again.”

Dan glares at him, fighting a smirk. “Shut up. No, don’t do it again.”

“Do what again?” Noah glances between them. “I don’t even know what I did.”

“Did you not see that?” Phil widens his eyes. “Oh my god. When you bounce down like that,“ he giggles, ignoring Dan’s “no, shall we not” – “Dan’s like a feather, so he literally defies gravity.”

“Hah,” Noah springs upward and launches himself down with about three times the force as before. Dan catapults up, starfished in the air for about a second before hurtling down on the mattress.

Noah and Phil hoot with laughter. Dan’s doubled over in stitches, clutching his abdomen. He can feel tears of laughter brimming at his eyelashes and he probably looks in pain right now but really he’s anything but.

He’s so happy it hurts.

“Shit, he really does!” Noah shrieks. “Oh my god, that’s quality. You okay?”

Dan manages to breathe out an ‘I’m fine’, still clutching his stomach. “Holy shit,” he sighs when he gathers enough composure to speak. “’Memory foam’ my arse. The springs under that thing are giant.”

“Or you’re just tiny,” Phil gushes affectionately, combing a hand through Dan’s hair. The feeling of silky waves between every finger are enough to chase away any remaining claws of anxiety, any pegs to his stomach, if just for a moment.

Maybe it is okay. Maybe it is just a product of an overactive mind. He’s been so wound up recently, what with looming examinations and deadlines and just about everything he could really do without so close to Christmas, that maybe it’s manifesting itself oddly.

Maybe.

He doesn’t want to think about it right now. He swallows the feeling down with another mouthful of beer, the bubbles foaming up like lather in his mouth.

“Shut up,” Dan glares at him, rearranging his fringe. “I’m not that short.”

“He’s mini,” Phil jumps back into conversation, as if Noah he can’t see for himself

“Short people deserve compensation for the amount of shit they go through,” Dan mutters, feigning grumpiness, but the shine in his eyes tell Phil it’s difficult to feel anything other than utter bliss.

“Ah, so you admit it!” Phil’s eyes match the light. “You are short.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Dan blushes, realizing what he’d insinuated.

“Don’t worry, Dan,” Noah chips in. “Phil’s been the same height since he was about twelve. I remember him in year seven,” he glances at the other boy. “You were terrifyingly tall. But then everyone else caught up.”

Phil rolls his eyes. “Yeah, there I was thinking I was some sort of superhuman. Twelve years of age and almost as tall as my dad. They used to call me Slenderman.”

“He looked like Mike TeeVee at the end of the film,” a giggle ripples through Noah.

“I can’t even imagine what he-” Dan frowns. “Mike who?”

Two jaws drop. Silence.

“You’ve never seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?!” Noah spits as if it be as outrageous an exclamation as never visiting Sainsbury’s.

Dan’s eyes dart to Phil, blue eyes wide.

“Not even the original?”

“No, I-…” his eyes flick between the two mirroring expressions. He huffs out a chuckle. “Is this really a big thing? Okay, well I’ve never seen Shrek, while we’re at it.”

A collective groan echoes through the walls.

“You’ve got to be fucking-“

“But it’s a-“

“Please tell me you’ve seen Star-“

“Not Wars, or Trek,” Dan cuts him off. “I don’t even know the difference between the two.”

“Dan, I-…” Noah cuts himself off with a sigh, staring at Phil. “What are we gonna do with him?”

“This is a crime,” Phil shakes his head. “This is actually outrageous.”

“If the most offensive thing I’ve done since arriving here has been not sitting through three hours of an ogre’s life, I’ll definitely take that.”

“Oh don’t you worry,” Noah leaps up off the mattress, grabbing his laptop from the revolving chair. “It’s about six hour’s worth in total.”

“Seven-and-a-half if we count the spin-off,” Phil chips in.

“Do we have to?” Dan whines. “I’m sure I’ll love it, but with all due respect I can’t even sit through films I like sometimes.”

“Are you implying you’ll dislike this?” Phil puts a hand on his chest in mock-offence.

“I said I’m sure I’ll lov-“

“Could watch Star Trek,” a voice pipes up from under the bed. Noah’s folded over to one side, the rustling of a carrier bag apparent. He adds, “not Wars, I can’t stand- Phil stop giving me evils you shit, it’s just not as good.”

Phil’s glare toward his turned back turns into a grin. He knows him too well.

He re-emerges clutching a six-pack of bottled beer, tearing one out of the cardboard and dropping it into Phil’s lap.

“He’s talking shit,” Phil mutters.

“I don’t know what to believe,” Dan smirks. “Star Trek is just Shrek with extra letters.”

“We’re gonna have to culture you up, Dan,” Noah shakes his head, thrusting a bag of popcorn almost the size of his torso in his general direction.

“God, you came prepared,” Phil notes. “It’s almost as if you knew we were both here.”

“I could hear you both from down the corridor,” Noah fires back, before adding “Plus you two are inseparable anyway. If I needed to find you, I’ll find you,” he points at Dan, then at Phil. “And vice-versa.”

Phil and Dan exchange glances. Do they really spend that much time together?

It’s difficult to calculate. They spend time apart, obviously. It’s not as if he’s sat in Maths with Dan pirouetting all over the place with a feather duster, but once are done and the final document has been closed; once the day’s duties are behind him, he can’t say he wouldn’t be found tearing from East wing to West; desperate to drop his workload and swap computer chairs for soft mattresses and lamplight.

They’re melting into each-other, and he can feel it.

Noah smirks, and only says, “We’re performing Alice in Wonderland next week,” his eyes flicker to Dan. “Have you seen that?”

Feedback is always appreciated literally HOW IS THIS pls let me know i haven't posted anything in years i love u all for reading thank u so much

i spent a good 15 minutes attempting to calculate the total running time of the shrek franchise im crying the things i DO i hope its accurate

#phan #phanfic #dnp #dan and phil #phan au #illaks #i posted this to ao3 ages ago but never did here apparently

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baejax-the-great · 6 years ago

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Intruders

Pre-relationship Fen/Hawke, 1762 words

Fenris finds his mansion is not as empty as he’d like it to be.

Read on AO3!

There were voices in the mansion. Fenris had been out, waiting for nightfall before heading down to the stalls to purchase some hot food. If he had been up in the room he had claimed for his own while he waited for the slave hunters to find him in Kirkwall, he might not have heard the muffled sounds over the crackling of the fireplace or the whipping of the wind by the window.

He padded down the dark corridors until he located light spilling from the cracks around a door. Hunters, burglars, whoever they were, they were unskilled, foolish, and they would not live long enough to learn from their mistake. Fenris unsheathed his sword, took a breath, and kicked it open.

The muffled sounds, laughter, he realized, immediately ceased. His momentum brought him over the threshold, his sword already arcing toward the unfortunate intruders, when he realized it was Hawke and Bethany in the room before him.

The force needed to divert his aim threw off his balance, his body smashing into the table just after his sword did.

Both Hawkes watched him with matching wide, brown eyes. Bethany’s mouth had dropped open.

Hawke was the first to recover. "Hello to you, too, Fenris," she said from her place on the floor, “Lovely evening.” He scrambled to his feet, leaving the sword where it lay. Bethany sat behind Hawke on a chair, a bowl in one hand and a small brush that appeared to be covered in paste in the other. A blob fell off the end and landed in Hawke’s hair.

“You said he was fine with us using this room,” Bethany accused her sister.

“What I actually said was--”

“You know what you implied!”

“Well I didn’t think he’d even notice we were here! And I certainly didn’t think he’d greet us with enough force to level a building. Lesson learned.”

“What are you doing here?” Fenris demanded. Their squabbling along with the strangeness of the scene prevented him from beginning to process the fact that he’d almost murdered the two people in Kirkwall who had thus far shown him the most kindness during his stay here.

Hawke whipped her head around. “Isn’t it obvious? Bethany is touching up the roots of my hair.”

Fenris narrowed his eyes. Did she not understand that he had almost killed her? “What?”

Hawke huffed. “Unlike you, I don’t have naturally pale hair. Or super-naturally pale hair, I suppose.” Fenris stared at her blankly. Bethany had finally noticed the glob of paste that had fallen on her sister, and was now attacking it with the little brush in her hand. “I dye it,” Hawke clarified, “Or Bethany does, really. She’s very good at it when no one is swinging a sword at her. She could do any color you like. If you wanted to try a different color for your hair--”

“I don’t,” he snapped. He had almost taken her head off, and she was asking if he wanted to change the color of his hair? “I mean, why are you doing this here?”

“It’s very tight in Gamlen’s house,” Bethany said without looking up, “And he disagrees with the smell. Hawke said you weren’t exactly using these rooms… Well, what she actually said,” Bethany continued, yanking on Hawke’s hair and earning an annoyed yelp, “Was that you wouldn’t mind, which I took to mean you knew she’d been using your mansion as a storage room and weren’t about to bludgeon us to death.”

By the looks of it, they’d been coming here for weeks. The cobwebs were gone, the hearth was stocked with plenty of firewood, and a pile of books sat next to an armchair. The table that he’d wounded with his botched entrance held a collection of weapons taken off the thugs Hawke was always attracting, along with poisons, lockpicks, and jewelry she had not yet fenced--things she would not want her uncle to get his hands on. He turned back to Hawke, who had apparently been very successfully evading his notice while carrying heavy burdens inside of his home.

“You dye your hair?” he asked stupidly. Pale hair caught attention, and he knew this not only from his own silver hair. Hers was striking. As tall as he was, with large, dark eyes set over high cheekbones, Hawke did not need gimmicks to draw the eye. He found his gaze constantly pulled toward her. But in her line of work, with a sister she wished to hide, it seemed foolish to alter her appearance to become more noticeable.

“Mine would be as black as hers, otherwise,” Hawke said, with a tilt of the head toward Bethany. Then again, Bethany was also a beautiful woman, but he had not realized this until he had spent an evening with her in the absence of Hawke.

“When I was young, my mother cut my hair very short,” Hawke continued, “For a time, nobody could tell me apart from my brother. You can imagine how both of us felt about that. Bethany came up with the solution. She was only supposed to make my hair a little lighter, but it came out almost white. I liked it that way, so I kept it.”

He supposed beauty was its own sort of distraction. Fenris wondered if he would have allowed them to finish their work on Hawke’s hair if she had not aimed her most charming smile at him. Certainly his enjoyment of the evening did not hinge on the beauty of his companions once he had sat down in the armchair with his supper and opened a bottle of wine for them to share, but it may have been the catalyst for him to stay in the room at all. Even as she sat on the floor with her head covered in paste, he found his eyes naturally settled on Hawke. In the firelight, he realized she had freckles.

For their part, the sisters seemed happy to spend an evening without their mother or uncle. They stayed long after Hawke had washed her hair of the paste and sat drying it with her back to the fire, both of them happy to have someone new to share old stories with. Having none of his own, Fenris contented himself to listen.

But then, Hawke had a way of drawing him out. He had no childhood memories or sibling squabbles to relate, but she got him talking about his time in Kirkwall. This naturally led to his opinion of HIghtown, and from there his assessments of his neighbors, their goals, their weaknesses, the flaws in their security measures. Hawke’s face lit up as he guessed at their probable vices. A couple months with little to do outside of Hawke’s excursions, and he’d had time to observe the nobility of the city.

“They’ve all been in each others’ beds,” he noted, “Except for Lady Carrac. After a time, it became clear to me that she preferred the beds she found in the Chantry and the clergy who occupied them. Her husband touts her piety to all around.”

“No,” Hawke laughed, hand on her chest. “Next time I’m there I’ll be too busy wondering which one it is to properly ignore the Revered Mother.”

“They’ll be wearing perfume,” he replied, “Clergy can’t display fancy clothes or trinkets from their trysts, but a bottle of perfume is easily hidden and the scent can be worn in the open. It adds to the game.”

“So I’ll just have to sniff them all like a mabari. No, wait, I have one of those. Porthos can find them out for me.”

Fenris turned to Bethany, who had been silent for a time. Her head rested on Hawke’s shoulder, her eyes closed. Hawke followed his gaze and flashed a rueful smile. “Don’t take it personally. I think it’s something about being the youngest child. As long as she feels safe, she can fall asleep anywhere. It’s no reflection on your conversational skills.”

“If it were, it would be accurate.” He frowned. “After what happened tonight, she feels safe with me?”

Hawke grinned. “You only tried to kill us for a moment, and then you stopped. That counts for something. Anyway, you know how it is. People try to kill me every day. If I held it against them, I don’t think I would have any friends left in this city.”

Friends. He had used Hawke for his own ends, and offered his service in repayment. The truth was he needed the coin and she attracted jobs that he couldn’t. But friends… the last people who had treated him kindly had ended up slaughtered by his own blade. He had nearly killed her tonight. Fenris could not afford to have friends.

“I should probably take her home,” Hawke said with a sigh, “But it was nice to spend a night out without risking the templars. She never complains, but I know the Hanged Man can be too loud for her. We are just simple country girls after all.”

An apostate and her mercenary sister who, in an effort to find an evening of peace, broke into the mansion abandoned by Tevinter magisters and claimed by an ex-slave with the ability to rip out hearts-- they were anything but simple. Their lives were complex, and Fenris didn’t need to add to it. They did not need a friend like him. Still, watching how Hawke coaxed her sister awake with some quiet words, Bethany’s small complaints and Hawke’s teasing nudges, he felt a sort of longing for an intimacy he didn’t remember. Perhaps he’d never had it. He turned his gaze away.

“Are you going to tell anyone my secret?” Hawke asked as he escorted them to the front door.

It took him a moment to understand her meaning. “That you are vain about your hair?”

“That’s one way to put it,” she muttered with narrowed eyes, but she nodded.

He assured her, “I will tell no one.” Both women stepped into the cool night air and out of his home.

“Good,” Hawke said with a smile over her shoulder, “Because I set up a card table the next room over, and I was wondering if you’d like to join us this week. Everyone will be over around eight tomorrow. Goodnight!”

Fenris let out a huff of air at her retreating back as Hawke guided her sister into the shadows. Closing the door, he considered bolting it, but he knew it wouldn’t matter. Hawke had a way of getting in places she wasn’t invited.

#fenhawke #my writing #leandra hawke #this was meant to be like 300 words of two dumb head canons of mine #and now it's 1800 words #hope it's not boring?

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hank-mcdankblade · 6 years ago

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I Know A Bottom When I See One Princess (Part 2)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary

Chapter 1: You and Dean have been pals for as long as you can remember, practically raised together. Are things still the same as you remembered when you reconnect with him after a couple years apart? Well there is one thing you see differently and you’re about to call him out on it.

Chapter 2: After you flirt back with Dean you start to rethink all of your life choices. Why did you flirt back instead of making fun of him? God it would be so much easier if you were just a genderless blob. Hopefully the new supernatural case a friend of your mom’s gives you will distract you from all this romance mumbo jumbo.

Chapter 3: You and Dean both start to realize your feelings are not what you both originally anticipated them to be. If only you two could actually talk like adults instead of bantering like childish 8 year olds. The case picks up when you see a certain someone’s name over every case, a certain boomer’s name.

Chapter 4: You and Dean do some sleuthing into Chrissy’s apparent death. After learning the truth your trip to Wendy’s/Jack in the Box gets interrupted by Chief douchebag. Rick takes the three of you on a nice drive to the mountains to introduce you to his daughter.

Word Count: 4,697

Warnings: a fuck ton of swearing, self hatred, angst, fluff bits sort of

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Ever since your little accusation of Dean, there’d been a little tension between the two of you. You were unsure of what kind of tension there was, or if there was even any to begin with. Surely Dean wasn’t upset about you teasing him, he’d let worse things roll off of his back without sparing a thought about it. Despite your doubts, your routine and friendship were pretty much the same in all regards. You still hunted together and made an awesome team. You still ate greasy food at establishments that barely deserved the title ‘Diner.’ And you still sang together to all his old music. So you were probably just over thinking things like you always did, but you still had an inkling that something was off about Dean.

Black and blue streaks painted the night sky with speckles of stars scattered across the canvas. The street lights outside cast pale yellow rays from the crack in the curtains that hit across the corner of Dean’s bed and stretched up the wall. The rays revealed to you the quilted pattern of the comforter and Dean’s duffel bag thrown haphazardly on the floor with clothes leaking out of it. Parts of the room not in direct contact with the light were in view as well. Traveling up his bed, you could see the curves of his cheek bones as he slept. Dean truly was beautiful. This was when he looked completely at peace, when he was asleep.

You turned to your side again, the bed rustling while you did. You had nightmares like most hunters did, but that wasn’t the reason why sleep evaded you tonight. After that night in the bar you basically cemented that you both had feelings for one another. Sure you and Dean flirted back and forth as a joke, but the other night was different. It was more real. What you had before was just your normal relationship. Dean shamelessly flirted with you and you made a joke out of it. It was your go to move to dodge his affections.

You didn’t really know how to respond to these advances from him, or anyone really at the moment. Your track record of relationships wasn’t the shiniest around and definitely nothing to brag about, most ending in either death or betrayal, but you were mostly scared to make things weird with Dean. He was your bud, your pal, your dude, any nickname that you could call a friend you’ve absolutely said it to him.

What would happen if you two did get together? A million and one questions popped into your mind when you thought about it, all ending with the same answer. Nothing good. It would be easier to play his flirting off as a joke to not hurt his feelings because relationships were nothing but trouble from your experience.

At first glance you’d think that Dean would never want to settle down and was content to have temporary lovers that lead nowhere, but he wanted what most people wanted, what you wanted too. True love. Pure and unadulterated love. But the bond you two shared was enough for you right now. You were ok with being alone, not that you really gave yourself much of a choice on the matter having sworn off relationships and meaningless nights with strangers. You couldn’t bring yourself to be with someone, not with the baggage you had strapped on your back. If anyone, hunter or not, saw the scar on your back you knew what they would say and the facial expression that would come with it.

If you let your walls down for even a single moment you would lean closer to Dean and let what might happen, happen. But the growing void inside refused to let you, God if he saw your scar he would look at you with disgust. It’s not the scar that would make him turn away, but the identity associated with it. Across your shoulder blades read a prophecy in Latin, burned into your skin the day your powers were activated. It was a symbol of your power and title. The curved letters created the prophecy of the Slayer reading;

“In omni generatione, est electus. Una puella in mundi. Et arte vires et solus geram et in surgere viribus a tenebris. Ad propagationem eorum mala prohibere et ad terras eorum numero. Quæ est Slayer.”

“Into every generation, there is a chosen one. One girl in all the world. She alone will wield the strength and skill to stand against the forces of darkness. To stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their numbers. She is the Slayer.”

The night you got your scar was still fresh in your mind and could play back like a movie reel. It was an ordinary day just like any other. Your biggest problems were fitting in at your new high school, getting good grades, and avoiding whatever bullshit your mom was going to throw at you, but little did you know you had a big storm coming. The activation of a Slayer’s powers differs from Slayer to Slayer. Some feel nothing, others feel a tickle, but you experienced the worst burning pain you’d ever felt in your life. The moment the imaginary hot metal touched your skin a hellish scream was ripped from your throat. You swore you could feel your skin melt away to expose your bones. The pain was so white and intense that after only a couple of moments your body went limp as a way of protecting you.

For weeks the burning pain didn’t go away. The pain and scar served as a reminder that you would never lead a normal life. Never wear a strapless dress or swimsuit ever again. You could never let anyone touch your back. If they felt the raised skin on your upper back you knew they would have questions, and ones you couldn’t answer. It’s not everyday you see anyone with a large brand on their back, or a brand of any kind. But after the reveal the reactions were the same, eyes filled with pity and hands recoiling from disgust.

Dean would react the same way. He would look at you just like your mom did, nothing but a demon. I mean that is where you got your powers from as the Slayer, so you had to be a branch on the demon family tree. Dean hated demons more than anything in the world, so where did that put you in his eyes? Embers in your heart started to light at the thought of being related to scum, to vermin. Thoughts and fantasies of a normal life poured gasoline onto the fire until it burned away your entire existence.

“God damnit.” Hot air left your lungs as you sighed. The cardboard sheets of your bed pooled around your waist as you sat up. Your eyes were seemingly staring at nothing while you pondered what the hell to do now that you were awake. Your heart felt deflated like a popped balloon, crushed under the weight of your reality.

You would give both your legs and your entire movie collection to be able to sleep right now and forget about the harsh world outside the warm cocoon your hotel room proved to be. The desperate need to just sleep was choking you, making tears prick at your eyes.

“Hey, you ok?” Had you been more awake, Dean’s sudden interjection would’ve made you flinch. Your reflexes and actions were much slower as you turned to look at him lying on his back. Your heart fluttered at the sight of him half asleep, hair fluffy and eyes barely open.

“Would you believe me if I said yes?” You asked in a rough voice. Your fingertips ran through your hair pulling it out of your face. Your eyelids fluttered closed in an attempt to concentrate on your breathing. Dean was taking his sweet time answering you. His eyes were scanning over your form. Your chin was perched atop one of your knees, arms around said leg while the other was stretched out under your covers. Your skin had been hardened by years of hunting, fingertips riddled with callouses from the weapons you’d handled. The only parts of you that were soft were hidden from sight. Dean also bet that your cheeks were soft, he had never had the chance to touch them but someday he’d like to. If you allowed it he would be able to stare at you for hours, trying to solve you like a Rubix cube. For the most part Dean could tell what you were thinking and feeling without second guessing himself, but there were always moments he was unable to read your body language.

He’s seen you in this state before, not too often but every once in a while. It was almost as if you were a statue, unmoving and barely talking. Whenever you were quiet he knew something was up. It was terrifying when you were quiet. At the pit of Dean’s chest an ache began to grow, he felt this way whenever he saw you like this. Physically there was nothing he could do, no mountain he could push or villain to defeat. This was something you had to work on your own in order to heal, and he understood that. But it didn’t make it suck any less watching you torture yourself internally when you were hit with these episodes.

“Need some company over there?” You held your breath for a moment mulling over Dean’s question. A familiar touch caressed your mind. This wasn’t the first time you’d been in this situation before. Nothing registered as contact on your skin, it was just numb.

“Yeah, I do.” Wordlessly, Dean padded over to your bed and lifted the covers. The shadows on his body moved with the light from the street lamps. There was a silent pact you two had to never bring up these nights, nights where you both needed some human contact with no questions asked.

Nights like these began after your activation. Dean had never seen you so upset before. As a teen he had no idea what to do, he probably still didn’t know now. But he knew that being held helped you and your mother was sure as hell not gonna do that for you. She was always too busy hunting with John. Truly those two were cut from the same cloth. Without the guidance from your parents you sought comfort in each other, and thus your silent pact was formed. Neither of you knew what the reason for this silence was, but nonetheless you kept it. Dean laid on his back with his arms open inviting you in, reminded of when you two used to do this before you left.

Feeling your head on his chest felt like home. A gentle surge of energy made his skin hum as you wrapped your arms around him. If there was anywhere Dean knew he was meant to be, it was here.

“Goodnight sweetheart.”

“G’night.”

And for the first time tonight, you actually slept.

Once the morning came around you and Dean were already on the road heading towards another case, Colorado to be more specific. You got a call from a friend of your mother. Her name was Jen and she worked as a park ranger for the Grand Mesa National Forest near Grand Junction. During the past couple of weeks, people had gone missing with no evidence left behind. Jen knew that this wasn’t a bear attack like the police claimed, so she called you and Dean for help. Of course you both accepted excited for a new adventure.

The Impala roared across the black pavement, kicking up rocks and zooming past trees so fast the leaves shook. In your opinion, the day was perfect. All across your part of the hemisphere the temperature was starting to drop. It was early October and the snow was starting to fall in a beautiful light drift, letting the wind decide its path. The ground was dusted with white sparkles that glittered in the sunlight. The snow wasn’t thick enough to build igloos out of just yet, but it was just thick enough to stick to the ground. You closed your eyes trying to absorb the environment’s good energy. Somehow you convinced Dean to roll the windows down and here you were with your head practically out of the window taking it all in. You were never sure why, but something about the cold air woke up your bones. Dean would always claim it was because you ran hot and then wink at you.

The negative energy was evaporating into the air to be turned into a beautiful white mosaic. The wonderful weather made you think that maybe someone was looking out for you. Maybe someone out there saw your rough night and decided to give you a break. Whatever the cause, you weren’t going to question it and were going to keep singing along to the Blue Oyster Cult CD Dean had in.

Dean looked over to you and committed the image to memory. No matter how many times he saw your smile it would never be enough. You were stretched out in the passenger seat with your shoes kicked off and jacket thrown in the backseat despite the low temperature. Seeing you beside him in the Impala brought on a flood of old memories. Dean wasn’t able to count the number of times Sam, him, and you drove to get ice-cream and dick around town just to get out of whatever motel you were stuck in at the moment. The three of you were inseparable as kids, always hanging out or messing with each other. But everything came to an end once you both turned eighteen.

By the time you had become the Slayer, your relationship with your mother was already strained. She was not the fuzziest person around and was certainly not fit to be a parent. The way she ended up in the hunting business was the same as John. Her husband got killed by demons and the rest was history. From then on she dragged you along on all her hunts and after a couple years she ran into John Winchester. The two made a surprisingly good team.

Your mother, Caroline, was always off putted by your existence it seemed. It was as if you were a burden to her, just extra luggage to haul around that reminded her of her late husband. There were never any bed time stories or hugs, just life lessons and the occasional pat on the back. At fourteen you considered yourself to be independent. You cooked for yourself, you took care of yourself, and with the help of Dean you were able to raise Sammy up to be a productive member of society. (Or dork as Dean would like to say) Your mother was barely around so it wasn’t a surprise that you grew up faster than you should have, but things only got harder after you received the call of the Slayer. Caroline resented you for what you were, even if she never voiced her opinion out loud. Her words were sharp and responses were short. You knew what she thought about you.

Dean never understood how a mother could do that to her child, her only child. Mothers, parents in general, were supposed to protect their kids. The day you left Dean swore he could feel his heart break in two. But as much as it hurt him to see you leave to start your own life in the big world, he knew why you needed to. He knew that you needed to get away from your mom’s abuse and passive aggressive attitude. But none of that mattered because you were here now and Dean was incredibly thankful to whoever brought you into his life again.

A violent buzzing on your thigh stole your attention away from the beautiful weather today brought you. You sat up from your seat and reached your hands forward, clasping them and stretching until you heard a few clicks from your joints. You stifled a yawn as you looked at your phone. “Hey Jen, yeah we’ll be there soon. No, no don’t worry. Alright. See ya.” Dean glanced over to you, silently asking you if everything was ok. “Jen’s just being paranoid. She thinks the police are gonna know that we’re up to something nefarious.”

“What does she think we’re gonna do? Show up holding a sign that says ‘Hey we’re definitely going to murder someone?’”

“You never know, those could come back in style.”

After another hour of driving, the Impala rolled onto a gravel driveway connected to a log built office. As you stepped out of the car the crisp air of the forest nipped at your skin waking you up. The gas and pollution of the cities made you appreciate the fresh air and scenic views before you. As far as the eye could see there were only trees that looked straight out of a Hallmark movie perfectly covered in snow. For the last month all you had seen was gray buildings. It was suffocating how many people squished themselves into one place that they called home.

Dead leaves and rocks crunched underneath your feet as you walked into the Park Ranger’s Office. A wave of hot air rushed past your cheeks as you stepped into the heated building. It was simple in structure having only four rooms, a kitchen, a living room, a bathroom and an office. The aesthetic was just as you had imagined it would be. The walls were covered with nature paraphernalia everywhere, with samples of tree leaves and forest fauna tacked onto poster board naming the different parts of the organism. Other parts of the wall were covered in maps and pictures of memories from years and decades ago, like a life size scrap book. The heels of your boots clacked against the wooden floor giving a signal to the workers inside that they had some company.

“Hello?” You called out. It’d been awhile since you saw Jen, so you weren’t sure what you were going to get. But after a few moments your voice was met with clunking boots and a familiar face.

“(Y/N)! Dean! Thank god you’re here, I’ve had enough of all the spooky shit going down here and would like to go back to fearing bears instead of monsters.” Jen said bounding towards you two with a smile. In her hands she was holding a manila folder that had papers sticking out in all different angles. You smiled feeling her bubbly energy, feeling yourself start to charge up a little after such a long drive.

“We’ll get you back to fearing those bears in no time. What do you have for us?” You asked stepping closer to get a look at the file Jen prepared, with Dean following your steps.

“The disappearances have been happening for years and only during the late fall and winter season, but no one talks about it.” Jen huffed out. She leaned against the kitchen counter with her arms crossed.

“The police usually just show up, ask their questions, and never do anything to solve the cases. Always claiming it’s bears. But I call bullshit, because bears only kill people when threatened or if they’re messing with their cubs. I doubt that many people would be stupid enough to play chicken with a bear. And even if they did end up dead bears bury their prey and feed on them until completely gone, but we haven’t found any evidence to support that claim. No body, no bears.” Jen’s description of the case was strange. Both you and Dean were already mentally working on a list of creatures to rule out in your hunt.

“Have you seen or smelled anything strange in those weeks?” Dean asked. He was thumbing through the file to see pictures of the site of the crime, narrow footprints on the ground, and trees scratched with bloody long claws. Jen looked at the ground, pulling her brows together in concentration as she thought back, willing her memories to give her some sort of clue to what happened here.

“Not that I can think of…” For a moment it looked like something clicked in Jen’s eyes. “Although….”

“Yeah?” Jen shook her head again dismissing herself. “Anything will help.”

Jen pulled her lips tight before answering you. “The claw marks I’ve noticed on the trees are odd.”

“How so?” Your partner asked stepping in.

“It’s not a huge difference from regular bear claw marks, but something feels off about them. The claw marks feel less like territory guarding and more like a result from an attack. If that makes any sense, they’re less precise.” You and Dean shared a look, almost as if you were telepathically sharing the same idea. Your gut was telling you already predictions of what was terrorizing the woods, but you wanted to get all the details before you jumped to conclusions. The case seemed like a pretty open and close shut one. You were about to thank Jen when the office door suddenly swung open. After a moment of panic, Dean quickly picked up the case file and hid it in the confines of his leather jacket. The door swung back hitting the wall with a loud smack revealing an older gentleman in a police uniform. His face was grim, every crease in his face probably from frowning so much. Your eyes looked to his breast pocket with the name tag, ‘Rick Sullivan, Police Chief.’

“Ms. Clinton, you’re not scaring the locals again with your fairy tails are you?” The policeman’s voice lacked any humor or sarcasm whatsoever. From the cadence of his words you could tell that this wasn’t the first time Jen had this conversation with him. Jen’s body language switched. She stood up straight with a stoic look on her face. Oh yeah, they had definitely met before. Jen bit her tongue, wanting so badly to tell him off and reveal to him the true nature of this world and watch as his face morphed into one of pure terror.

“Not at all,” Jen said, clipping her words as short as she could. “just telling these kids that now might not be the best time to go hiking. Ya know, what with the disappearances and all.” Her eyes narrowed slightly with a fake smile. She couldn’t help but get in at least one jab before the conversation ended. It was a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. But at least with this option she was able to do what she wanted, regardless of the consequences. The police man, now known as Rick from his name tag, clenched his jaw. Tension built up into the air as the two stared at each other for a moment.

“Just some bears getting their energy out, nothing more than that. But regardless the department needs to check all the bases and I need the sign in form.” Jen breathed deeply, most likely to stop herself from saying anything else and walked out of the room to get the clipboard the office left out at the entrance on a pedestal for guests to sign in at.

“Is everything ok? We heard there were some people who went missing here.” You asked casually slipping your hand into Dean’s. The rush Dean felt from your skin touching his made his heart beat quicken. That familiar hum of energy traveled up his arm and dissipated into the rest of his body. He knew you were only doing it to protect your cover, but it still didn’t fail to make him nervous. Feeling some sort of magnetic pull, Dean moved closer to you. You would be lying if you said that playing this role didn’t feel natural to you. It was odd how easily you could slip into the role of a fake girlfriend, holding onto his arm and leaning your head on his shoulder.

Rick shook his head and sighed. “Nothing so dramatic happened here. We just have a few residents that like to stir things up and make trouble where there isn’t any. As long as you don’t hike where you shouldn’t be you should be fine.” He stated this like it was such an obvious fact that even a mouth breathing four year old would be able to see it. Rick seemed to think highly of himself, towering over you two in condescension. To him you two were just some dumb kids looking to cause him grief.

“Are you sure? We read that there wasn’t any damning evidence that pointed to a bear attack.” Dean butted in. Your grip on his hand tightened almost as a warning to get him to cut the attitude he was sporting. If it wasn’t in his voice, you could see it all on his face. Dean’s eyes were locked on Rick with his lips pursed. Of course that shit head had to have at least one word in on this, his personality wouldn’t have it any other way. He always had issues with authority, something you thought he picked up since he was always under John’s thumb.

Rick could sense Dean’s snarky attitude a mile away and reciprocated. His posture straightened even more, if possible, and he pulled his shoulders back. “Son, I’ve been on the force for damn near forty years. I think I know a bear attack when I see one.” You were sure if Dean uttered another word Rick would have him arrested just for being disrespectful. Truly the police chief before you was the epitome of the angry baby boomer’s generation, and Dean was just another millennial in his eyes here to ruin the diamond industry by spending all his money on avocados or not getting married.

You tugged on Dean’s arm wanting nothing more than to get out of here before the situation escalated. “Hey love, why don’t we head home and come back another time?” You asked leaning into Dean, affectively playing the part of the girlfriend. The two of you had everything you needed from Jen to start working on the case, and if you had any more questions you’d call her. Guess she wasn’t kidding when she mentioned over the phone that the cops around here were twitchy. Dean couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his lips looking at you clinging onto him. Fake or not he loved being able to have these moments with you.

“Sure thing sweetheart.” Dean’s eyes followed your figure as you lead him out of the door to the office, ignoring anything Rick Sullivan had to say to him.

Once you knew you were out of ear shot of the asshole back in the office you felt the need to speak up brewing inside you.

“You are going to get us arrested with that smart mouth of yours.” You poked at Dean. Looking over to him you saw a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. He didn’t regret a word he said. You both walked in sync to the car with clasped hands, no longer safe from the cold outside.

“Well my mouth could be doing other things if you want sweetheart.” Dean tugged on your hand, pulling you to him with a smirk. Your laughter filled the air as you shook your head.

“Like what? Complain and bitch about the cold? You are pretty good at that.” Rick’s crotchety behavior was long forgotten by the time you two got in the Impala. Yet again your rapport with Dean remained the same. Maybe harmless flirting was just your friendship and you were making too big of a deal about it. Analyzing your history with him did remind you that this dynamic of yours had been going on forever. Nothing came from it then, so maybe nothing will come from it now. The two of you settled back into the Impala to start yet another adventure into the supernatural world.

#dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #reader insert #dean winchester x reader smut #supernatural x reader #bottom dean #I know a bottom when I see one princess

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venus-says · 5 years ago

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Futari wa Precure Episodes 01-26

Am I rewatching precure? I can't believe this!

Yes, this is not a fever dream, I'm really rewatching precure, and not just Futari wa but THE WHOLE FRANCHISE. Am I crazy? Yes, because I'm already watching too much stuff at the same time and I barely have time for that as of right now, but I love screwing myself over so here we are!

I can't really remember the exact thing that sprung this desire of rewatching precure on me, but I've been thinking about it for quite some time now, at least since I wrapped up on the Aikatsu marathon before On Parade started, in fact, one of the reasons I started doing the old Kamen Rider reviews was because of this. I just didn't start it earlier because I'm the kind of crazy that picked a calendar, looked at the dates, and made the calcs, and realized I could watch pretty much everything in one year so I decided to keep this "project" for 2020 and start the new decade with a bang.

So this is how it'll go: I'll be dividing each season into quarters and pretty much covering one season per month with posts coming out weekly every Wednesday, the only exceptions for this rule are Futari wa and Yes! since these are the only seasons with sequels so instead of dividing into quarters I'll divide them in half and watch two seasons in a month rather than just one. Also, different from Kamen Rider's case, since I'm more familiar with the franchise and I know how the movies go I'll also be watching the movies and posting about them as I go along (All stars movies will come out usually in between the first and the second week, while solo movies will be in between the third and the forth). I really hope I don't go nuts and that this can go as smoothly as possible. XD In any case, it's precure time!

I promised myself I'd keep nostalgia out of these rewatches and do them like if it was my first time watching the series so that I can be less biased on certain aspects, but when it comes to the OGs is really difficult to not have my thoughts clouded by it. I may not have been around since Precure first aired, but Futari wa was effectively my first precure season too, I joined this bandwagon when Heartcatch was airing and I was so in love that I wanted to watch the past seasons and Futari was was my first choice and it holds a very special place in my heart because of that. I tried my best to keep those feelings out of this review and in some cases I was able to it effectively while on others not so much so, I apologize for that. XD

I usually try to separate these reviews on blocks of Plot, Characters, Designs, and commentary on specific episodes and I'm gonna try to apply this structure here more or less.

Talking about the plot... there's not a lot of it. XD

Like yeah, there's the whole Dark Kingdom attacking the Garden of Light thing, and the sort of scavenger hunt for the Prism Stones (not the Pretty Rhythm ones, just to be clear) and all of that, but there's not a whole lot going on beside it, is just Nagisa and Honoka goofing around while their friendship solidifies, they sometimes bump heads but that's pretty much it. And honestly, that's not bad, as while isn't a story about Nagisa and Fujipi the more slice-of-life portions are amazing.

The cure portion that is the problem, to start the action in these 26 episodes isn't the greatest, most of the time is just the cures being thrown away until they get fed up, say "I'll never forgive you!", hold hands, and they throw either a Marble Screw or, in rare occasions, a Rainbow Therapy. Of course, special fights with generals sometimes get a little more flare, but in general, they're pretty lackluster. Also, it feels like things weren't paced properly with the beginning and the end happening very fast and the middle being overly long in comparison. And of course, there's the element of defeating a villain or a set villains while there's still half a season ahead which means change of villains for people who we never knew existed before and apparently were a big deal, and if you read my Kamen Rider review you know how I feel about huge changes affecting the antagonists...

But oh well, I have lots of things to get through so I won't hammer on this for too long. MOVING ON.

Futari wa's biggest strength, at least for this first half, is CHARACTERS. The side cast has many hits or misses, but the protagonists Nagisa and Honoka more than compensate for it. One fun thing of this whole experience was kinda re-discovering them? Because I never watched the OG precure and Max Heart again after my first time watching like 10 years ago and I also don't have the best memory so I forgot a lot of minor things, like how Nagisa is such a downer in regards to their mission, and how positive and bright Honoka is and these are traits that are kinda opposites to their personalities with Nagisa being more outgoing and energetic and Honoka being more calm and polite, and this is so perfect and so much fun, I love it to that. Speaking of surprises I forgot how much of a savage Honoka was, like, the girl put a group of thieves on the line by just yelling at them. THAT'S THE DEFINITION OF POWER.

Unfortunately, they don't come alone. Their fairy partners, Mepple and Mipple, are... annoying. Mipple not so much, she has moments where I go "Really queen?" but for the most part she doesn't bother me, in fact, I'm sympathetic towards her who has to be partnered romantically with such a piece of crap of a male that Mepple is. I don't know why but I completely forgot the jerk that Mepple actually is and let me tell you, it wasn't fun seeing him being misogynist, selfish, and just plain rude, not just to Nagisa regularly but also with Mepple, it's actually very sad. I don't remember if he gets any better in the future, but for now, I'm hating him.

The side characters aren't very special, the girls in the Lacrosse Team and the Science Club are more or less just extensions and supporters or Nagisa and Honoka but I overall like them. The major highlights in terms of side characters are Akane and Fujipi. Akane is a huge positive because she has great energy, she's very fun, and he not only provides a meeting point for the girls but also has a mentor role, though its a very little one, that is great to see. Fujimura on the other hand... I admit, the dude is okay, he never really did anything relevant so there's nothing to hate on him per se, but he's a love interest and his situation with Nagisa never develops on any sort of way is just a very flat experience which makes his relevance even smaller so I can't help but think "what is he still doing here, just disappear with him already" every time he's up on the screen.

There's no other way to put this, the villains are plane as hell. Some of them have good designs but overall, they're very band. Pissard seems like it could've been a cool dude but we spent only 5 episodes with him, that's not enough time with him to make him interesting. Gekidrago is the boring and stereotypical "dumb villain", I think I don't need to write anything else after that. Irukubo is the stoic powerful villain, but much like in Pissard's case, we barely see him in action so it's not enough to make me care for him, and the Dark King is just a horrible CGI blob of darkness. The best villains of this first half are the siblings Poisony and Kiriya, Poisony is actually the best one of the generals seeing that she's a strategist and most of her plans were all pretty good so she was always able to get the cures corned in some way, she may have flunked her cover in that episode where she disguises as Honoka for not doing her research well before assuming the role, but overall she's amazing. Kiriya is the villain that never attacked the cures directly, as far as I remember he never summoned a Zakkenna, and putting it like this may sound like a bad thing, but trust me, it's not. He's the first precure villain to get a "redemption" and as rushed as it was his presence in the story and his arc as a character was also pretty well done so he deserves to share the podium with his sister as best villains.

Since we're talking about villains let's talk about the cures now. Black and White have a very simple design and that's not a bad thing, they're simple but they're still pretty different from each other and it's not a difference that screams to the eyes like id there was something wrong, they complement each other perfectly which only helps in making them this iconic duo that they are. The transformation items, as well as the Prism Hopeish and that notepad thingy, are very 2000's but they have their charm. I think the thing that didn't age very well were the effects for the transformations and the attacks, don't get me wrong I love their original transformation, there's a frame on it that is just marvelous, but watching with 2020's eyes there are parts that feel very wonky. Following the theme, the attacks have a very simple animation but in this case, it works because they can make some very interesting stuff with it, like launching a Marble Screw through Poisony's Umbra Witch hair.

Going into more detail on the episodes, these 26 ones feel like a normal seasonal anime, despite the pacing problems if these 26 episodes were a single season it would've worked well because there was no loose end lost in the mix, maybe the Fujipi stuff would be the only thing that would end with no proper closure, but then again that's not important so it would be a satisfying end. There were four major arcs inside this mini-season so I'll comment on them separately.

The first and shortest arc is the introductory arc that goes from Episodes 1 to 5. And there's not a lot to say here, they introduce the characters, the mission, and the character relations on a good way, there was nothing stellar but it's a good introduction to the series, the only let down is the fighting portion that is very lackluster, in special the final fight against Pissard that was supposed to be a big important moment but that in the end was just very not impressive at all.

The second arc goes from Episode 6 to 11. This is probably the most boring arc of all despite some interesting happening here, we have the introduction to the Prism Stones and the Prism Hopeish, they first use the Rainbow Therapy here, and we also have the famous arc where Nagisa and Honoka fight for the first time and tighten their bonds. These are all interesting points but the set-up for these things to happen weren't the best, like for example Nagisa and Honoka's fight, I always remembered this as a very important moment, AND IT IS, the lesson learned at the end is pretty good and it results on them calling each other for their first name which is a key moment, but all of that happened because of Nagisa's feelings for Fujipi and all that misunderstanding and ughhh that's such a boring reason to make them fight, it was really a letdown. I think after everything the thing that stroke me the most was Honoka's birthday episode and how badass she was for putting some sense into the head of three adult men, which was really magnificent. Also, the first proper fight happened in this arc in the final battle against Gekidrago, it was short but it was good nonetheless.

The biggest arc is the third one that goes from Episodes 12 to 21. This is my favorite arc and a big part of it is because Poisony and Kiriya start to get active here. I don't know how to explain but their addition to the cast made things more dynamic and interesting to watch. Poisony's plans always led to interesting situations like when she hypnotized their classmates that were playing dress-up as the cures, or when she trapped them inside that mirror dimension, or even her last moments in the show where she used that old trick of impersonating someone and making the protagonist having to choose who's the real and who's the fake one, you know even if the precure portions weren't the best, they were put in the most interesting situations in this arc. Together with that, we have Kiriya that goes through a very interesting arc, until now I don't really know why he infiltrated in the school since, as I mentioned, he never acted directly as a villain against the precure (not as far as I can remember) but his interactions with the crew and especially his relationship with Honoka was quite interesting to see it develop. My high points from this arc were episode 18, the one where a girl confesses her feelings for Kiriya - there's a lot of interesting stuff happening here, and episode 20, Poisony's defeat and one of the best fights of this portion of the season. My low point would be episode 19 more because Mepple is being a jerk here than anything else, but I didn't enjoy this episode as much as I did to the other in this arc.

The final arc of this portion is another small one, it covers episodes 22 to 26, and this one is very odd. We start with a filler centered around Honoka's dog of all things that are followed by two two-parters that wrap-up this first half. I'm gonna be honest I don't like this arc, one because it introduces Pollun and two because the "final" fight is very unimpressive, yeah Shining Star debuts here and is a big moment but overall isn't the best, which is understandable after all are two girls launching a beam at a giant dark blob of CGI and there's not a whole lot there, but its fun to see a preview of what will become the Extreme Luminario in the next season. I also don't like how they didn't let the episode finish on a downer note with both of the girls missing their partners and such. But oh well, at least we had Episodes 23 and 24 here there were very interesting, they had this mystery/horror film vibe to it and I loved it.

And that's pretty much all I had to say! Thank you for reading all of this mess, I really appreciate it, I'm very excited to be doing this and I hope I can count with your support through this year. What are your thoughts on Futari wa? Let me know in the comments. I'll see you, folks, on a next time, and don't forget, if you ever see a shooting star be careful with what you wish for, a cellphone thing may fall from the sky right on your head and unless if you're an anime girl you will be in risk of having a concussion. XD In any case, see you around. o/

#Futari wa Pretty Cure #Futari wa Precure #precure

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spooderson · 6 years ago

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Peter, no!

So, this is chapter 4 of my fic. And, just to clarify, I didn’t put all the chapters of this fic to tumblr, so if you want to read all the existing chapters you should go here. Enjoy!

Chapter 4: Do it for the science

The thing is, Peter was an awful cook, he said he got it from May, but they weren’t even blood related, so that wasn’t true. He would’ve said that he got it from Tony, but they weren’t blood related too and as it turned out, Tony wasn’t a bad cook. He was great, actually. Tony said that he used to cook with his mother when he was little. It made Peter wonder if he had stopped cooking when his parents died because it would remind him of his mother and the pain was simply too much to bear for him. Anyway, Peter had thought that maybe he would agree to cook with him – maybe that would help create some new good memories and Tony would stop eating just take out and actually cook dinner once in a while. Although the way Peter planned to bring Tony Stark back into the kitchen was questionable.

See, Peter had spent most of his afternoon watching youtube videos and he stumbled upon a certain category of “bad makeup/food science” where the person was baking a cake and putting lipstick into it. Now, he wouldn’t have been Peter if he hadn’t immediately wanted to recreate it. Not with lipsticks of course, but with the webs.

That’s why the next time he saw Mr. Stark (which was on Tuesday after school, because even when he wasn’t living in the tower for the week, he still went to the internship twice a week) he anxiously twisted the screwdriver in his hands until Mr. Stark took notice and put his own equipment down so he could hone in all of his attention to Peter.

“You ok there, kid?”

“What, no, - I mean, yeah. I’m fine.”

“Truly? Because to me, you look anxious. So come on, spill the tea. Or whatever you kids say there days.”

“Tony Stark using modern slang wasn’t something I ever thought I’d hear with my own ears… Please, please, just stick to grown up talk.”

“Maybe I will, if you tell me what’s making you so anxious.”

“Ugh, fine… Here it goes: CanIpleaseuseyourkitchenMrStark???”

“I’m sorry, what? You were anxious about asking me if you can cook in the kitchen?? Pete, you live here about half of the year, of course you can use the kitchen. You can also buy whatever ingredients you need, just tell FRIDAY.”

“Really??”

“Yeah, kiddo. It’s your house too.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you, Mr. Stark. Also, if it isn’t too much, could you maybe help me? I want to recreate this cake that I saw this one lady make on youtube, and I thought that Spider-man could try and make a video of recreating that. I think people would like it.”

“So what, you want Spider-man to start a youtube channel now?”

“Nope, I’m gonna upload it on Instagram. Will you help me?”

“Sure, seeing as the last time you did something like this you ended up trashing Stephen’s living room.”

“I already apologized about it, Mr. Stark, get over it.”

“Fine” Mr. Stark said exasperatedly “but only cause I love you.”

“Love you too.”

This is how the plan was set in motion. Mr. Stark had agreed to help him make the cake and also help film the process, but Peter still didn’t tell him the whole truth – he kept quiet about the fact that the cake was going to have his own spider-webs in it. Peter had an inkling, that if Mr. Stark learned about it, he would shut down this idea very quickly and he wouldn’t get to make any kind of cake. But if he learned about it in the process of making one, even if he wasn’t allowed to put webs in, they would still make some kind of cake. Which was better than none. And also, if Mr. Stark helped, maybe the cake wouldn’t turn out as disastrous as it probably would be if only Peter and his Parker cooking skills were involved.

˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗

It was Thursday – the day that spiderweb cake was supposed to be brought into this plane of excruciating existence.

Peter had just arrived at the tower for his internship, which, at least today, consisted of baking one (1) spiderweb cake and filming the whole ordeal with Mr. Starks’ help. Firstly, they started by setting up the filming equipment – all the ring lights were placed and turned on, then the camera and the monitor were turned on and it was time for Peter to change into his spider-man suit.

After he changed, he came back to the kitchen, where Mr. Stark was sitting on a stool and flipping through a cookbook. When Peter came in, he stood up and turned the pages back to the correct ones. They both put on aprons and turned to face the camera:

“Hello, everyone. Today me and Mr. Stark who’s also known as Iron Man will attempt to bake a cake, and it’s going to involve a twist.” With that Peter turned to look at Tony, who arched one brow at him and then turned him back to the camera.” Let’s get started then”

They put in all the wet ingredients and mixed, and then combined that with the dry ones. And to Peter’s absolute shock, the cake batter looked like it might actually turn into a good cake, he was even a little regretful that he had decided to probably ruin the cake with putting spiderwebs in it. But it was too late. He had decided to film it and he doubted that people would just want to watch Tony Stark and Spiderman bake a regular yellow cake.

“Okay, now for the twist…”

“What’s the twist, underoos?” asked Tony and turned back to stare at the camera” he didn’t even tell me what the twist is. He just said I’ll see. Which, now that I’m thinking of it, is probably dangerous and will burn down my kitchen. I should take the cake batter away from you.”

“Relax, I don’t think anything bad or dangerous will happen. I mean, all we’re doing is putting some of my webfluid in the cake batter.”

“I’m sorry. We’re doing what!”

“Yes, the webs. You know, like funfetti, but it’s webs.” Peter said exasperatedly.

“Don’t you think that they’re not meant to be eaten??”

“I know that. But I saw this video where a girl was putting lipstick in a cake, and there’s also one where another girl baked nail polish into a cake and they both lived. So, truly, I don’t think that we’ll die if we eat some webfluid, ya know?” “No, you’re going to be the only one eating the cake.”

“But don’t you want to know how baked webfluid tastes, Mr. Stark??? Anyways, were doing it for science, by baking the cake we’ll get to examine the effect it takes if a human eats it and it’s durability in heat.”

Mr. Stark once again looked at the camera and sighed. Then, he made a go ahead motion with his hands and sat down on the kitchen island where they were filming.

The spiderman mask looked at Mr. Stark for a few more seconds and then it looked like Peter was smiling behind the mask with his eyes opened as wide as possible. “Let’s get going then! He took one cartridge out from a drawer and poured it into the cake while explaining that the cartridge contained a liquid mass that turned into the spider-man’s webbing when exposed to air and the other liquid that was in a different cartridge and that they were going to add that next.

After that was done, Peter with the help of Mr. Stark put the batter into three cake pans, and even though the batter looked okay, the amount of cake batter wasn’t at all even in the tree pans – one pan was one blob away from overflowing, one looked okay and the other one looked like it had way too little.

Regardless, Spider-man and Mr. Stark put the empty bowl away and put the three pans into the oven.

Thirty minutes later, everything went south – the cake had expanded and dripped down in the oven – and the batter on the bottom of the oven was burning with open fire.

The video showed Mr. Stark and Spider-man tripping over each other, trying to take the pans out and put out the fire that had started. Then the video cut to Mr. Stark and Spider-man sitting at the dinning table, the three pans of cake in front of them along with a bowl of funfetti, frosting and two rolled out pieces of fondant- one black and one white and cut out to look like spiderwebs.

“So, were back,” said Spider-man” and now it’s time to assemble the cake and decorate it!”

“Can’t wait for this all to be over and to never let you into the kitchen again” murmured Mr. Stark.

Then the video cut again to Mr. Stark and Peter ending to frost the cake. “Time to put on the fondant! And then we can eat it” said Peter and picked up the black fondant with his hands, which was, of course, a terrible idea, as the fondant broke and fell back on the table in one inelegant heap. “ooops”

“Kid…” sighed Mr. Stark and tried to fix the fondant as much as possible before rolling it onto a rolling pin and carefully maneuvering it onto the cake. “There, now you only have to put on the spiderweb one.”

“Thank you” Spider-man answered softly and then with the help of Tony he put on the white fondant spiderweb on the cake.

The video cut again, and this time it was Tony talking.

“I have one more thing to put on the cake as decoration. Of course, I bought it thinking that we were going to make a normal cake, not this… Hazard… But whatever. Here, kid.” And with that Tony Stark took out a little fondant spider-man out of his apron pocket and gave it to Peter.

Spider-man stared at the miniature him, and then, in a small and chocked-up voice said “thank you so much, Mr. Stark, this means so much to me.”

The video cut once more, and they were back to standing behind the cake, this time they were both without aprons and Mr. Stark was holding a knife.

“Can’t trust the spider-baby with a knife” he said to the camera and then sliced into the cake as spider-man’s objections were heard behind him.

The video cut one last time, and now they were once again sitting at the dinning table, with one giant slice of cake in front of them.

“You only take one bite, and if it tastes wrong, you immediately spit it out, got it?” asked Tony.

“Yes sir” said spider-man and then he got himself a big bite of cake, that looked like a normal yellow cake. He put it into his mouth and chewed for a good thirty seconds. And then:

“Icawn’tswallowitMrr.Starrwkpwleasehewlpme”

Mr. Stark started to laugh and the video ended there.

˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗ ˗

The video was posted on Sunday evening and by Monday morning it was trending everywhere. Under a tweet with a link to a video Tony Stark had uploaded a new photo of the “Things spider-man isn’t allowed to do” list. On it were two new points that said that “spider-man isn’t allowed into the kitchen” and another one, that said that “doing something with the excuse of it being for science is forbidden".

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maladaptive-ninja-returns · 6 years ago

Text

Without Question (10)

Steve Rogers x fem!Reader

Content: death. destruction.

Warnings: just read the contents above

Word Count: I’m lost

MASTERLIST & Taglist in bio, my love

Peace is a luxury for an untamed mind.

It is an expensive affair to experience, more so when it is more of a relief shower over the desert of chaos; a smooth wave as sacred as an eclipse touching the tired ragged shore. A much-needed opulence that escapes you the moment you question its lifetime in the present.

Your peace sleeps next to you. The pale face of chaotic good is devoid of any line that hints at worries, doubts, stress or even guilt. It just sleeps. The pink lips are parted ever so slightly, a sign of how deep the waters of the ocean of relaxation they are floating in. The freckles that run over his face down his neck and shoulders feel like a trail of angel’s kisses, blessing him with the turbulent energy to carry the weight of the world over his shoulders. The chest heaves and falls languidly, reminding you of the blessed breaths you take next to him.

And just as the tranquillity is swallowed with the blend of a welcoming post-thunder coldness with the new favourite redolence of Steve, the thought of leaving his side cracks the bubble of that sacred bliss in your heart.

Bruised by the universe and still so pure , you wonder.

Lifting yourself halfway on your shoulder, you plant a light kiss on his forehead and smile when there is nothing but a twitch of his lips that resembles a short smile.

You deserve every happiness in this world.

Moving up and away, your eyes do not leave the figure lying in your bed under the warm covers. It takes a substantial amount of will to turn away, pick up a pair of leggings, t-shirt and a jacket before walking out of the room to dress up. Picking up a knife from the kitchen you whisper ‘no, it’s for me in case I...just relax okay?’ and walk out of the house.

“Tony! Are you seeing this?”

Natasha’s voice echoes through Stark’s helmet as he is still trying to take in the four spaceships making an impact on the compound grounds.

“There better not be radioactive slime inside these things,” he quips, already in the air, working through diagnostics.

“You spoke too soon, Stark,” Sam flies up right beside Tony, “look.”

White fanged gooey beasts come out of the spaceships with incoherent cries, stepping on the ground with the stature of wild beasts readying themselves to go hunting.

“Are you sure we can’t call the Captain in?” Clint calls from the facility’s rooftop.

“Do you really think I would’ve sent them away if he was needed here?” Loki comes to stand next to Hawkeye, his battle armour and the horned helmet taking form over him. “Besides,” Loki takes in a lungful, “it’s for the best that he and the lady are away.”

“I cannot believe I am saying this but I agree with reindeer games,” Tony calls out, “Cap needs a vacay and we’re not ruining it because of some goo decided it can walk.”

..Nearly an hour passes by when your heavy breaths are visible in the coldness surrounding you deep inside the forest.

“Okay,” you barely huff out the words through your lungs, “it’s done. Is-is it time?”

Yes , the deep hoarse voice inside you says. Just a little warning, human, this is going to get real ugly real soon.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t come all the way out here for a walk in the woods. So just shut up and let’s get this over with.”

The voice does not say anything in return.

“What? No sassy remarks or insults?”

You didn’t tell him , it states rather softly, shutting you up for good.

Your legs shift your weight over them, your tongue darts out to wet the dry lips while your eyes look for nothing in particular.

“Call them,” your shivering breath commands as you take your hands out of your jacket and ready them by your sides for whatever is about to happen.

A long breath in and the y/e/c eyes turn black, gooey tentacles finding their way out from your back to surround you; cocooning everything below your waist- a beautiful black sea with you in the middle.

A grunt escapes Natasha before she finds a footing in the ripped grass to shoot herself over the shoulder of one of the beat using their own staff-like weapons; dropping fusion bombs into their bottomless bodies, already planning four steps forward for the one running towards her wildly flailing his tongue.

“Loki, I’m outta your bombs!” she cries into the comms, running towards the slime before skidding beneath it but not nearly fast enough to escape the claw that catches her by her hair to pin her down with a guttural growl.

The slime slits its invisible lips to display its fangs that part to take in a taste of the Black Widow that struggles with the hold around her neck.

“Get your filthy tongue away from me,” she lets out a low growl with death in her eyes.

The slime tilts its head in mild shock before opening his mouth wide, showing its prey what is the last thing she was going to see when an ominous note breaks through the air and forces it to turn away and look at one of the ships.

Every other beast on the battlefield does that same before low-key grunting in disapproval and leaping towards a singular direction.

“They are retreating,” Clint takes in the site of the ships opening their hatches to let them in lighting up their thrusters.

“Why? Did their mothership said ‘playtime’s over’?” Sam asks as he hovers over the compound to make sure every last one of them is out of there.

“There better not be a giant mother blob in there,” Tony is quick to mention before his eyes go over to capture the expression on Loki’s features.

The God stands on top of the facility looking down at the creatures in some deep thought.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Tony slowly lands right by his side, neither pair of eyes looking away from the short-termed battlefield.

"I don't think it was him," Loki states, turning towards Tony, who's helmet has crawled away from his head as smoothly as it had appeared. "Do you realise what this means?" His whisper carries a weight both of them can only contemplate.

Tony looks like right in the eye. He wants to blame him so badly but he knows it isn't his fault. It is never going to his fault no matter which way he looks at it. His lips are twitching with latent rage inside him but his eyes carry pain, something Loki finds relatable.

"Tony, it's not your fault either," he is quick to assure him.

"Son of a bitch," Tony curses, signalling Loki to follow him, "they both really do deserve each other."

The gradual heat brings out pearls of sweat on the pale skin buried deep under the covers and Steve has to shift to find a cooler part of the bed to bury himself in instead. But it isn't till his mind- which in the seventh state of heaven- swirls your colours inside him, the heat of your chest over his, the sweat over your skin drown on his, the hot breath in hair, creating your image in smoke that finally makes him question the absence of that heat near him.

Brilliant blue eyes open and watch the empty side, caressing the pillow softly with his fingers before he turns to the other side to look outside the French window.

The thunder's died long ago but the scars remain. The pit made for your Sakura seems to be overflowing with rainwater. Water drips down from the edges of the porch frame. A sparrow wiggles itself from head to tail and hops on near the window to rest in a small bowl that was supposed to be filled with water for it some time ago.

"Y/N." Steve's voice still carries the density of the soundest sleep he has had in ages. He sits up and runs his hands all over his face, trying to rub away the slumber before getting up and reaching for his boxers.

"Y/N?" He walks out of the bedroom to look in the bathroom and find it empty and dry. The kitchen and living room smell of you but you are nowhere to be found.

His fingers fighting the weird itch over his shoulder turns his attention to this one yellow paper neatly folded over the breakfast table.

The smoothness of the paper somehow feels uncomfortable under his touch. The fold is neat, crisp, patiently done. The unfolded piece looks akin to something taken from some ancient Pharaoh's treasure. The black ink that stains the otherwise sheen surface is a continuous stroke forming one word at a time, nothing less than an angel writing poetry about the one that got away.

The one that got away.

It takes those dark blue eyes some time to bring their focus back on the actual words, while the rest of the body is becoming aware of the eroding emotions, the hard beating of the otherwise strong heart, the latent shiver that flames the insides.

I meant it when I said I didn't want to lose you.

The yellow curves and slides graciously through the air. No sound is heard as it swings to and fro languidly taking its sweet time, teasing the call by gravity and right before it hits the floor, a gust of wind from Steve almost breaking through front door forcing the paper to fly up and away.

He runs straight for the forest, never stopping, his ears sharp, listening to the farthest of satellite calls in the quiet, his head throbbing from all the possibilities going inside his head as his ears catch a distant explosion and alien screeching, making him accelerate further in the direction of the white noise.

The shapes of ships start appearing after a distance and just as he discovers them, they blow up to smithereens, forcing out incoherent wails from creatures nearby.

The scattered alien crawlers are writhing in pain on the ground with their claws scratching at some unknown ache in their brain. One raggedly moves in his direction, forcing the Captain to take a position and land him a blow. But before he can do that, the crawler winces, gasps for air and falls to the ground, going limp.

As surprising as the site is in front of him, nothing beats the shock of watching the woman he just confessed his love to hover mid-air covered in quite possibly the remains of the dead race, her eyes all black, her features experiencing something otherworldly, her arms hanging by her side, limp.

"Y/N!" He calls out her name- half-cry, half-prayer- and he does get a response with the turn of her head.

"Steve," for a flick of a second, the eyes come back to their original glory of unadulterated purity while a smile finds its way on her lips.

"Y/N, tell her to stop!"

His lungs hurt.

Her eyes too.

He doesn't ease his stance.

She doesn't ease her grip.

"I can't," she cries, the break in her voice shattering his heart, "it's too late."

"It's never too late," he grunts and brings out the dagger that Loki last planted in her back.

Immediately the y/e/c go black and the flawless features reek of pure mayhem.

"Walk away, Captain," the familiar hoarse voice comes back but this time with a warning, "she knows what she got herself into."

Steve doesn't pay heed and breaks into a run, forcing a low hum out of her throat before black strands chuck him into the nearest tree.

"Stay down," she whispers before turning back to the few whining beasts that remain, "it's almost over."

Within seconds the last of the fanged beasts are snapped and Steve has to make an effort to reach the middle of the horrid ground right to catch her limp body.

"Oh Ga-Y/N! Hey!"

Barely any life remains in her as she looks up at the man who cradles her just as carefully- but more lovingly this time- as he did when they first met.

"What did you do?!"

Even as he tries, he fails with his rage on watching her face looking at him with every ounce of pride and hope. And an apology.

"Take care of my cherry blossoms," she smiles through the pain her lungs feel even while she speaks.

Her hand comes up the wipe away the tear that has found its way out of Steve's eyes.

She wishes she could tell him it was all okay. She was fine. The pain was slowly fading. But so was his touch.

"And please take care of Stacie. She can be a handful."

Steve's fingers are careful as they caress her cheeks, trying to keep them warm. His head droops down, forcing her to touch your forehead with his.

"Hey," she wheezes, "it's okay. I knew what I was walking into."

He tries to bring out words but fails miserably just as her teary eyes let go of the water with the one last breath inside her.

"And try not to remember me this way."

TAGLIST

Permanent @lokis-lady-death @lokixme @l0kisbitch @tarithenurse @meganlikesfandoms @kcd15 @itheoneofmanyfandomsi @gotta-get-back-to-johnlock @moonlightprime @henloamkitty @confessionsofastrugglingteen @keepingupwiththelaufeysons @loving-life-my-way @supernatural-kinda-girl @magiclolipopqueen @cauraphernelia @fuckidontknow @libbymouse @lokisironthrone @liesje86 @itvariesfromlokitostrange Steve @ultraslytherwin WQ @ultraslytherwin @gemgemswift @jessicagoddamnjones @klmpun

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beihonglin · 6 years ago

Text

anyway i met bei honglin and he’s an actual angel and we don’t deserve him: a recap

also this is more than 5k words so like ! prepare yourselves!

fhdjjd okay so in april honglin’s hyh brought up his birthday party in his gc and I was like :——) that’s when spring sem ends I could actually make it

fast forward through a lot of encouraging by summer miss @91percentchaoze (sobs I rly owe summer my life) and a lot of anxiety about flights and a lot of other stresses in between

and June 2nd I’m in shanghai with mirthe miss @honglinsmacaroni and meggi and summer ie three of the cutest people in the world!!!

when we get to banana there were already other fans there waiting at the event space and the hyh was giving out seat numbers and stuff

so meggi was 10, summer was 11, mirthe was 14 and I was 15

and we started giving out the slogans and stuff we printed until the staff chased us out so they could set up

and so we were chilling first in Starbucks w the other fans fhdjjfjf they’re rly so cute I was finally able to put faces to weibo handles & they finally realised they were talking to someone who’s actually shit at speaking Chinese lmao

then when it got to 2 o’clock we moved outside near the entrance of the event space (since the event space was supposed to be open to us at 2)

but they got the time wrong and we ended up only being able to go in at nearly 3

which isn’t important anyway bc !!! we saw tangram walking in !!!

okay so we saw this white blob coming out from the main banana building and walking towards one of the side buildings and we were like

whomst

and it wAS JINGZUO JSDKAHFKJDH

and summer or mirthe waved at him and he was like bitch wtf and squinted

like ??? who the heckity is waving at me but then eventually he connected the dots and was like o yah fans so he waved back fhdchdkhcjdjf

and he just walked on what a king ??????

summer was right I was surprisingly more chill than I thought I would be fhdjfjfjjf I thought I would cry but I didn’t

so we waited around a bit longer, got suntans and sunburns and slightly dehydrated

and then honglin walks out

my god y’all he’s a whole goddamn angel he’s not real I’m telling you he’s unreal

I KNOW I said the last time that yanjun is rly unphotogenic and all the photos don’t do him justice but leT ME TELL YOU

THE ENTIRE BANANA FAMILY IS LIKE THIS THEYRE UNREAL

THEYRE ALL BANANA PEELS IN HUMAN SUITS THEIR VISUALS ARE ??? NOT HUMAN

but yah at first I was like o he’s gonna go through the back exit to the event space he’s not gonna come this way

AND THEN HE CAME THIS WAY

fhdjfjfj i didn’t take a video but if I did u would probs hear me go “o shit he’s coming” fhdjfjfj

and mirthe was like I’M GONNA TELL HIM UR WEIBO HANDLE I’M GONNA TELL HIM YOU’RE ASTROFIREWORKS and I was like NO so then we had a little back and forth for a while tHAT HONGLIN SAW FBDJHFJF

I don’t rmb a lot of it bc I was mainly in shock that he was in front of me so I was mostly like :——) heckie!

but he went through the front entrance and the moment he made it inside I lost my shit fbdjfjjff

mirthe sent a picture of me just kneeling at the entrance contemplating my entire life to the group chat fhdjfhdj apparently I said that I wanted to go home fhdjfjfjjf

and then zhixie and jingzuo came out soBS

ZHIXIE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IRL U DONT UNDERSTAND HIS CHEEKBONES ARE INSANE

also he had black hair again and the cuTEST HAT ON and we promptly lost our shit

Jingzuo,,,,, in a plain white shirt and blue jeans and converse,,,, someone PLEASE stop him

but they went in and we cried

and waited outside bc ruotian and chaoze still hadn’t gone in but then someone came to tell us chaoze was off filming for his show so he wasn’t coming & somehow ruotian had alr made it into the building without us noticing so eventually we all went in

and the chairs were so comfortable o my god they swivelled and they were like super squishy I love chairs

and then the best two hours of my tgm stan life started :—(

my god the moment honglin stepped on stage my entire heart melted he rly looked so good sobs

you’re completely right I’m dedicating an entire portion to his visuals

his eyes :—-( are so sparkly my god

and when he smiles his eyesmile???? he gets those rly deep wrinkles around his eyes and they’re actually beautiful????? ;;;;

he Radiates joy like i know i say this so often but their debut song??? radiant??? written For him,,,

also when he smiles it’s so warm like you find yourself smiling along bc he rly and genuinely means it and is happy and your heart just warms up bc he’s happy and i just

man i l*ve him

okay so the first segment zhixie was like “what do y’all love about beibei”

and everyone was yelling different things like “he’s so handsome” and “so talented” and “his vocals” and someone also yelled “he can eat a lot” and zhixie was like ??? bro whAt

also someone said “he spoils his fans a lot” and my god y’all it’s so so true but more in that at the very end of this recap

I couldn’t even say anything rip bc my entire brain was set in English and I was like ???? my god i wrote an entire post about the reasons I l*ve him but my mind is blankity blank

but then he was like well beibei’s great at pick up lines

so he did pick up lines based on scenarios zhixie gave fhdjfjfand most of them were old tsk

but he made up this rly cute one that went like 看花开不如看着你发呆 ‘people like looking at flowers bloom, but i’d rather look at you daydreaming’ and i UWUED SO HARD

and I didn’t realise this until meggi pointed it out after but when they put the scenarios on screen, they used a gender neutral “TA” instead of the gendered 她/他 ;;;;;

then they did this segment where honglin was supposed to go against three fans and do a tongue twister in the shortest time and in order of time they got to choose foods under cloches

honglin did so badly fhdjfjfj he got last place but idk if he did it on purpose so his fans could win

one fan got wasabi disguised as ice cream and zhixie was like EAT IT and honglin was like DONT

and he offered to eat the wasabi for her I’m sobbing he rly is so sweet

but zhixie was like NO SHE HAS TO EAT IT and everyone laughed bc he was so adamant fhdjfjfj i love zhixie with my entire soul

and thEN honglin goes okay y’all know how I posted that picture last night

(this picture)

my god I died when he posted it bc

1) I love that shirt what an expensive look

2) he was baking ;A;

and he made a half-baked cheesecake s o b s

he was like: “since i’m always posting vlogs and y’all always watch me eat I thought I’d make food for y’all this time” and I WEPT

and he was like oh give me a theme and i’ll decorate the cake around that theme

so they pulled out the box again and he picked random numbers

and they called out 4 and 15 and 27 to go on stage and I was like

wow I wonder who they are omg

and suddenly summer’s in my ear going MY GOD 15 IT’S YOU

me:

me: what

zhixie: STOP DREAMING IT’S YOU

me: WHAT

hdsflgkjhdfkhgjdsfgkhksfgkdjhdfgkjhsdgjh

and the entire time i was mouthing to mirf and meggi like I CAN’T SPEAK CHINESE I’M GOING TO GO UP AND FORGET THAT I’M BILINGUAL I’M GOING TO BE BYELINGUAL I’M

and they were mouthing back sPEAK ENGLISH and i was like oK

and then it was my turn and i was shaking so so so hard ????

like i’m so so so bad in front of crowds i’ve shaken my way through every marketing presentation ever bc i hATE public speaking and now i have to go up in front of two angels?????

mirf and meggi were like THAT’S ASTROFIREWORKS and i didn’t realise until i checked the group chat after that zhixie said yAY KJDHSKSJAHKJA

and summer was like SHE FLEW IN FROM NEW YORK kjdshfkahdgjfhagjd

and zhixie was like wait do u speak chinese

and i blANKED OUT I WAS LIKE YES BUT FAM NO

but he only took the yes and was like ok thaNK GOD I DONT HAVE TO TRANSLATE

inside i was like fAM WHO THE HECKITY DO U THINK TRANSLATES YOUR VIDEOS I CAN DO IT FOR U KASJDHFLSKJDHKH but outside i was just ah yes :—)

and zhixie and honglin said something about english but my mind was blank all i could do was stare at honglin like

y’all

i know i said he was unreal but

up close

he’s literally ??? a whole angel like ????????????? his eyes sparkle so much when he laughs my heart STOPPED

and when they asked me to step closer i was like

actually i can translate for u i’m-

and zhixie was like NO THERE’S NO NEED like akdsfhkjkjdshJKASDHK OK

then honglin asked what theme i wanted and i was likE FAM IDK I’VE BEEN BLANKING THE ENTIRE TIME STARING AT YOU

so i was like okay i know u rly like one piece so something maybe one piece related

and he was like fam that’s difficult sadjkfhalsKJSDHLKJASD

but the moment i opened my mouth

zhixie: ARE YOU SINGAPOREAN OR MALAYSIAN

me: uh i’m singapor-

honglin: uwu i can hear it

me: about to die

zhixie (in english): ur accent !

and god yall my entire heart burst into flames like

i’ve said it before here but i’ve spent quite a bit of time being ashamed of my accent bc when i first got to america nobody could understand my singaporean accent and everyone kept asking me to repeat myself and eventually i was like ok u know what it’s better if i just shut up and not talk

and so the reason why i’m so so so proud of zhangjing (and jj) is bc there finally is ?? some south east asian representation and there are even people complimenting his accent and calling it cute and it ?? finally felt like i shouldn’t be embarrassed about the way i speak??

zhixie: when i heard you i was like eh? it’s almost like i heard you zhangjing

and i

Cried

and then zhixie turned to meggi and mirthe and were like yall come from beijing?

like fam what

and meggi was like no we come from belgium

zhixie: malaysian? you?

about ten people correcting him: belgium

zhixie, again: malaysian?

kajsdhflasjdkhfkj

and then zhixie said some other words but yall i was

just watching honglin

his hands are so so so so beautiful like his fingers are rly nice and

his nose ??? work of art

also his hands looked so soft like :—(

he was just bent over the cake and he :—( rly truly a goddamn angel

summer took photos of me that i’m never releasing ever sakdfhaksjdhfds i look so COMPLETELY WHIPPED FOR HIM LIKE

and at one point he started plucking cherries and one stalk fell on the floor and i was like o no so i went forward to pick it up and he

looked up

and said ‘oh it’s okay’ and smiled and

my heart stopped i think i left my soul on stage

O SHIT OKAY AND THEN ZHIXIE WALKED OVER AND WAS LIKE

CAN I ASK WHAT YOU’RE THINKING U LOOK LIKE YOU’RE LOSING UR MIND

AND I WAS LIKE FAM U DONT UNDERSTAND I A M

and i was like ‘idk i’m just ?? very shookt’

and zhixie was like what??? shy????

me: 很惊讶 (very shocked)

zhixie: shy? ? ??

me, thinking: fam this is how i feel when i translate yall captionless vlogs

zhixie (in eng): is this ur first time seeing honglin?

me: my first time seeing you also !!!!!

zhixie, suddenly shy: ah okay thank u

UWU!!!

and then honglin was done and looked up and i might have died inside again

AND HE WALKED OVER AND I WAS LIKE FAM NO DONT IF YOU COME CLOSER I’M LITERALLY GOING TO DI E??????

and he was like ‘oh this is zoro’

the sane part of me: oh wait ur favourite character is zoro???

bc liTERALLY TWO DAYS BEFORE HE POSTED ABOUT SANJI AND SO MY SISTER AND I WERE LIKE OH HE PROBS LIKES SANJI

BUT HE

LIKES ZORO

(my sister, afterwards: wtf i feel lied to)

but he was so heckin close to me like fam my heart

stopped

honglin: i hope u like it uwu

me: heck !

honglin: take one bite!

me: HECKITYHECK

zhixie (in eng): i wanna see ur facial expression

aND THEN THEY WERE BOTH LOOKGIN AT ME LIKE FUCABJS,BCD

FUCINADJCNSAKJDKJ

honglin: is it okay? ;;

me: FUCIJNSKCSADJ YES TAKE MY HEART TAKE MY SOUL

and i finally FINALLY FUNIAJKNSSK FINALLY GOT OFF THE GODDAMN STAGE

zhixie: WHERE’S HER APPLAUSE

anD EITHER RUOTIAN OR JINGZUO UPSTAIRS STARTED CLAPPING AGAINST THEIR MIC LIKE ASDFAHKSDHFAKSJD SHUT UP

AND I WANTED TO DIE I WALKED ITNO A CARDBOARD CUTOUT RIGHT AFTER BC I WAS SO SHOOK

and honglin was like be careful! there’s a cardboard cutout right there! bc he’s a whoLE ANGEL

but also like GKASCKASHDHFAJDSHLFKJ PLS STOP LOOKIGN AT ME PLEAS E MY HEART IS WEAK I’M

my god

collapsed into summer’s arms right after thank god for summer !!!

okay then the next segment zhixie was like o yall know honglin’s position in the group is main vocal so next he can sing something for yall

honglin: actually i prepared an entire song for yall but music copyright means that i can’t sing it w a backing track

bc if he sings w a copyrighted backing track or if he sings more than half the song the livestream video would have to be taken down or something??

but it didn’t matter bc the moment he opened his mouth my entire heart STOPPED like

if he stabbed me in the stomach it would have hurt less his voice is so so sososos ososososososoosososo beautiful ????

and he sang without a backing track to like ????

i’m telling yall he’s a whole angel like he’s not real

and then honglin was like oh i also prepared another song but bc i now see there are overseas fans here i’m gonna sing an english song

and he sang when i was your man by bruno mars and when he hit the high note i think i ascended into the afterlife

about the 46 minute mark here i RLY AND TRULY RECOMMEND LISTENING TO IT SOBS HE SOUNDS LIKE THE PERFECT ANGEL HE IS

AND ZHIXIE HARMONISED AT THE BACK LIKE AHHHHH THAT’S MY BABE MAIN VOCAL TAGTEAM RIGHT THERE

and then zhixie asked if there was any other song we wanted and i was immediately like JJ!!

i’ve been ??? pleading for a jj cover forEVER ND HE

FINALLY PULLED THROUGH

honglin: i’m going to do Those Were The Days bc like the song says (那些你很冒险的梦我陪你去疯 - all those adventurous dreams, i’ll chase them with you), i’ve been chasing my dream and yall have been here with me every step of the way

and i think the moment he said it i DIED like ???? jj is one of my favourite singers and nearly all my faves have covered his songs at least once, astro included???

and everyone who knows me knows i love jj like nini miss @tanqram has literally made a tangram singing jj compilation that i watch religiously ??? and this is one of my fave jj songs?????

and the moment he opened his mouth like ???? i KNOW i said that i died the last two times he sang but

firstly he sounds so much like jj?????

and secondly everything was ???? perfect??????

like i judge jj covers hard bc i’ve listened to the originals so many times everything is ingrained and the moment something is off i cringe but

yall

honglin’s perfect honglin is Actually Perfect

ALSO HE SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE JJ LIKE HE RLY WASN’T LYING IN HIS IP INTRODUCTION

and afterwards honglin was like lol jj said before that whenever he sings high notes he starts sweating and immediately jingzuo (???) was like TAKE OFF UR CLOTHES LKAJDHSFKASJDHFK

jingzuo chaotic good!!!

also i didn’t know until afterwards when the fantakens were out but ruotian was eating chicken wings and slurping noodles the whole time upstairs aksjdflhaksdjfhaksj why is didi line chaos

and then zhixie was like yall know what other things beibei is good at?

like fam he’s good at everything we rly can’t

also someone in the back was like he’S GREAT AT DOING THE SPLITS and honglin’S FACE AJSDFHKSJDHF

but it was languages and so zhixie was like we’re gonna make him say i love u in many different languages

and i could FEEL marta miss @honeyforzhixie going ????? isn’t that ur thing zhixie jsdgflasjdhf

and so they started discussing languages and zhixie was like o i know u can speak a little japanese bc i know u memorised the entire one piece theme song

and i SCREAMED INSIDE bc we literally juST TALKED ABOUT IT THAT MORNING WHEN WE VIDEO CALLED NINI nkfhakjsdhf we were like uwu we hope he sings a jj song but then we were like o lol what if he ended up singing the one piece theme song instead bc we bet he knew the whoLE THING AND HE DOES KNOW IT AJSDFHLAK

but then zhixie made honglin imitate maotong and say ‘i love u’ the way maotong would and my heart ached a little i miss my baby boy so much ??

but JINGZUO CHAOTIC GOOD JSDHLAKJ ‘could u imitate chaoze too’ jaskdlfhkjd

and so he did a couple different versions like Japanese (he and jingzuo screamed lines from one piece at each other ajdkhflksd) and korean (he took a line out of some korean drama?????)

and someone suggested french (was it mirf?????) and i lAUGHED rip his french vlog sorry honglin i swear i love u !!

and then they were like ok time to play his fan video

okay listen i have to preface this by saying that when i got the brief from the hyh she told me ‘it’s best if we make him cry!’ and i was like ok! sure!

turns out it made ME cry i stressed out over the video for two entire weeks sobs the moment my finals were over i locked myself into nyu’s computer lab until moving out day but still couldn’t finish it so i had to work on it on the plane ride home too sobs my roommate connie miss @ynajun saw the worst of it bc every time i came home from the lab i’d stress about it ???

but my god it was worth ??? everything ????

he ?????? cried??????

and like on one hand i’m happy that i managed to fulfil the brief but also i feel bad bc he cried but also mostly i laughed bc he’s such a sweet emotional bub

BUT ALSO BC HE CRIED MEGGI GOT TO OFFER HIM HER TISSUES!!!!!!!!

like we specially bought tissues before we left for banana bc we were like we’re gonna need them bc we’re gonna cry

BUT IT TURNS OUT HONGLIN NEEDED HTEM MORE AJSDKFHLASJDHFKAJ

zhixie: he cries every year during his birthday

zhixie: but also even when it’s not his birthday he cries he cried at my birthday too

and afterwards in chaoze’s birthday post he called honglin a crybaby too UWUWUWUWU

tangent but on his birthday when he came into the group chat he thanked us again for the video and i Died

okay this next part is purely speculation bc i honestly might just be overinflating myself and he might have done this purely coincidentally but when he thanked us for his video he looked at me and i ?????

when the video was playing nini and marta were yelling in the gc that they knew the video was done by me bc i overuse cc particle world on after effects jasdhlfksjdh but in that moment i briefly entertained the thought that he was familiar enough with my edits to know that the only idiot who keeps using cc particle world was me ??

but also as i said purely speculation and probably coincidence so

anyway you can watch it here

and then they played the birthday video messages from fans and i think i died from embarrassment let’s Not talk about it

but also i only realised it after they pointed it out in the gc but apparently zhixie and honglin were both singing along to the jj backing track i added to my video ajsdfhlaksjd

my god another tangent but on his birthday when he came into the group chat we were talking about the videos we recorded

and hh (one of honglin’s og fans she’s a whole angel too I love her !!!!) was like my gOD i rly am so unphotogenic (when she filmed her video she put a ‘FAT’ over her face sobs but like mood) and i was like yah same lol i had to record myself like ten times in times square bc i looked so bad in all the takes

and honglin was like HH WHY DID U CENSOR UR FACE UR CLEARLY SO CUTE and we collectively died for her uwu !!!!

then honglin rePLIED ME SAYING ‘OH BUT TIMES SQUARE HAS SUCH A GOOD VIBE’ and i died for the nth time ??? and then he followed up by saying ‘i rly want to go to times square i’ve gone to america a lot of times when i was younger but i’ve only ever been to the west coast’ jksadhlfkjshekj pls come i’ll bring u around east coast best coast

but back to the point he was like ‘i’ve said it before during ip (and he did!!! during the fanfan episode where he was talking to the rubbish bin he rly has said it before!!!!) but i rly try my best to remember every single person’s face and all my fan’s weibo IDs’ and my heART MELTED HE

and then it was his ending ment!!

he said something that rly threw my heart off a cliff he said that he’s so grateful for the hyh and fans for listening to him and donating to charities in his name instead of buying him extravagant gifts bc when he makes it big, if he makes it big, the thing he wants to do the most is to donate to children who come from a less privileged family background bc he knows what it’s like coming from a single parent family and ;n;

then they showed wishes from other idols!!!!!

there was wang ziyi, zhou rui, the twins my ip hEART

LISTEN I ??? when zuo qibo showed up my SWIN HEART EXPLODED I ??? MISS ??? MY SWIN ANGELS ????

AND THEN RUIBIN SHOWED UP IN ALL HIS UNKEMPT AND UNSHAVEN AND RAMBLING GLORY AND MY PRINCERUIBIN HEART WEPT I THINK I HELD SUMMER’S ARM SO HARD SHE GOT BRUISES AJKSDHFKSJD I’M SO SORRY SUMMER I LOVE U

and then cHAOZE APPEARED !!!! and everyone immediately melted he’s the softest leader alive i love my baby!!

and honglin was about to say something but ruOTIAN

ruotian showed up w a cake w sparklers???????? like fam???????

and eventually we had to say goodbye :—(

but honglin was like o i rly and truly thought that there would be lesser people at this birthday than there was last year and my heart ??? broke ????

bc the room they were in last year alr was so small and there were rly little roses but he ??? genuinely thought he had so little fans that he wouldn’t even fill up the room ;;;;;;;; bc there rly are v little active roses both on weibo like there are less than ten of us who actively post in his chaohua and at tgm events like they’re mostly lrt/jjz fans and there’s usually only one rose ;;;;

but listen honglin our entire gc would die for you we will never stop loving u until every last one of us is found dead in a ditch

and then we’ll love u into the next life

also after he said goodbye he was like sike!

he kept singing behind the cardboard cutouts and peeking around them to say hi again

at some point I poked my head over and went PLS COME TO NEW YORK and he said something back that I alas couldn’t hear rip

and then he started singing along to jj again sobs

but eventually at some point they left via the back door and I was like GOTTA GO THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT I’VE BEEN TRAINING FOR sobs going to the airport for yanjun and wenjun and jeffrey and ziyi and kunkun rly was to prepare me for one thing and one thing only and it was to practise getting good non-shaky fantakens without dying???

jingzuo rly truly looked AMAZING he rly rocks the white tee blue jeans and converse look jingzuo stans stay winning!!!

and honglin ;;;;;;; was holding my banner ;;;;;;;;

and he looked directly into my camera a couple times sobs and he shot hearts too I rly ???? Editing the photos made me cry so many times fbdjhfjf every time I got to those photos I lose my mind

ALSO ONLY AFTER EDITING THE PHOTOS I REALISED RUOTIAN WAS JUDGING ME SO HARD GHDJFJ my eyes were glued to honglin the entire time but looking at the photos again ruotian looked so unamused fhcjfhfbfhbf

speaking of ruotian my gOD editing photos with him in it is a nightmare y’all he’s either blinking or looks like he’s about to sneeze in nearly every picture fhdjfjfj summer and I generally make it a rule not to blur other members’ faces out of our fantakens but ruOTIAN RLY TESTING ME

but we made it to the banana lobby and I didn’t want to follow them and their fansites in so I stopped walking and honglin turned back to wave at me ;;;;;;;;;;;;;; and i think i died again

and so I went back to the event space where summer and mirthe and meggi were waiting and sat down and blanked out sobs

but it diDNT END THERE FHDJFJJF FOR SOME REASON HONGLIN DECIDED TO WALK OUT AGAIN A BIT AFTER

so mirthe and I were like omg gotta blAST so we speedwalked over

and he :—-( saw and shot signs at my camera again fhdjfjfjjf I ???

and then it was Actually Over god I was a shell of a person after that

still am tbh I’m not sure how I survived sorting through our 2000+ fantakens fhdjfjfj

but I’m so spoiled y’all I’m really truly so spoiled by him :—(

like I said earlier he rly spoils his fans so much????

that night he posted on Instagram and immediately summer and meggi and mirthe and I commented and he replied all four of us ;n;

earlier on in spring semester there was a third party event that Tangram was invited to but the organiser was a MESS and tgm wasn’t treated very well??? but honglin was worried that the fans who travelled to the event and didn’t get to see them were upset so he came into the group chat to console them ;;;;;

and I was talking to another fan and she said that even during other events he kept turning around to wave at the fans and acknowledge them and it’s ;;;;;; as someone who has ?? waited in the rain / stood for hours waiting for idols something as simple as a nod or a smile rly warms u up and makes the wind and cold worth it ;;;; and he makes sure to do it all the time ;;;;;;;;;

on his birthday !! his birthday !! when he was in Taiwan and should be resting and enjoying time w his mum and not thinking about us !!!! he still came into the group chat for an hour and talked to us ;;;;;;

and he named all his sort of more well known fans’ IDs, even the ones who weren’t online and sending messages at the time ;;;;; like he rly wasn’t lying when he said he remembers us ;;;;

also fhdjfjfjjf god I’m so spoiled he replied me so many times ?? like there was the times sq thing and the east coast thing ???

and when he said he was training for the next archery competition I was like “o are u shooting recurve or compound this time?” and he was like “o idk if I shot recurve or compound but it’s the one I shot the last time” and I fhdjfjfjfhfb

tangential but 1) my god y’all his form is beautiful my archery heart: exploded

2) his rhotics are so beautiful too my phonology heart: also exploded

also when he was about to leave the gc I was like “huh but u just got here, why are you leaving?” and he sent another voice message “astrofireworks, why are you becoming shameless too, when did I just get here, I’ve clearly been here for a long time already” fhdjfjdjfn fhdjjd

also my GOD He was reading some IDs and summer and lyla were like what about @astrofireworks and I was like fchjfbhjdf y’all it’s ok he’s alr said it in another voice message two months ago in the gc I’m alr so spoiled I ???? rly shouldn’t ask anything else of him or he’s going to hate me

but then he

sent

a whole

nine second message

“hey astrofireworks, I hope one day I can go to New York and maybe... I’ll meet you there, okay?”

and I ??,?? Sobbed

ndjdbfjvcchhxhdhfh

and then Connie went to send him off at the airport in Taiwan the next day and ?????

I’m not gonna say much because it’s rly conno’s story to tell and I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to say outside the gc but he rly spoils his fans so so so so much ????

anyway bei honglin rly and truly is the sweetest boy on earth we rly don’t deserve him ;;;;; this first week of June truly has been the best week of my cpop stan life and i ????? love mister bei honglin with my entire heart and soul ;;;;;;;;;;;;

#bei honglin #honglin #tangram #贝汯璘 #banana #my god i hope this posts it's so long

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