#topping in a sense of execution and emotions

[hcuyk]

just brainstromed more thoughts and. oh my god. what a fucking RIDE this fic will be

[funnyexel]

what if your stalker loses the remaining piece of human decency he has left

tw: non-con

okay.

he was scaring you, acting extremely scary and out of character in your eyes. even if that's who he's always been under the mask...

"no. stay longer." he demanded said.

"it's getting late, and I've been with you for a few days." you replied back, still trying to be polite and understanding in some way. you kept a comfortable smile on your face as you continued, "remember what I said about having time to miss me?"

he didn't want to hear that shit. you said this so often that it actually made him not want to hear your voice. even with the rampant thoughts of wanting to grab the nearest fabric and shove it in your mouth to shut you up, he brushed his hair back to express mild frustration with your words.

and with all this conversation, you still didn't make a definite move. you didn't get up, you didn't sternly say you were leaving and you definitely didn't get up to automatically pack up your things.

"stay." the shorter his phrases got, the shorter his temper got as well and your patience was getting worn too. you try to be a patient person but when he acts so entitled and childish, you can't help the awkward yet strained laugh that comes from your chest.

"I can't do it. I need to go back to my house." you were stern and here comes the attempt the remove yourself from the premises.

you got up from your laying position on the bed and closed up your already packed bag, you planned this, you planned to leave today and you were executing it.

you could feel the adamant stare on your back coming from him. you rolled your eyes and shook your head. you have a minuscule understanding of what's going on in his head, quite minuscule compared to what is actually going on.

"I won't say it again." you look over to him and tilt your head, you were perplexed by his word choice.

"oh, don't be so dramatic." you utter as you put on sweatpants and you thought he was simply trying to intimidate you with his harsh tone and odd wording. but you were naïve to the obvious signs.

he considered letting you go but the way you looked in those sweats, his sweats. he couldn't. not this time.

he grabbed you by the neck, his thumb on one side of your jaw while his four fingers are on the other side. with his chest pressed up against your back, he pushed the bedroom door closed. he was breathing heavily.

like breathing uncomfortably down your ear.

you mistakenly utter his name and his thumb that was fitted on your jaw, pressed your lips together firmly.

he was clicking his tongue as you felt his head shake next to yours. as your chest was raising and falling noticeably, his icy hand slithered up your shirt and you felt a chilling sensation from your sternum to the top of your esophagus.

you felt your resolve shattering under him as he ripped the bag from your hands and spun you around. he couldn't even began to forge together any words as he brought your face close to his. your scent intoxicating him once more and he feels that certain emotion snap inside of him.

something that held him back from taking in all of you.

pushing you down onto the bed, it didn't feel like how it usually did, soft and welcoming, it felt hard and stringent. he grabs your wrist harshly and you couldn't take your eyes off of him. but his actions were still full of intent as you felt your wrist binded to the bed.

you don't know how to feel. one moment you are protesting loudly and kicking at him and the next you are moaning when he so much as squeezes and twists your nipple through your shirt.

he refused to prep you and give you that sense of pleasure, like this was supposed to be pleasureful, it wasn't. as he had you on your back—right wrist tightly tied onto the bedframe—he made you put your feet on his chest. sadistically, wanting to feel you push away from him as he pushed into you raw. it hurt. like hell.

your free hand pushed your hair harshly out your face as you threw your head back on the bed and in this specific moment he felt your resistance the most. but at the same time he felt the way you were desperately pulling him in and in. like you were just begging him to touch your cervix.

he was pushing in slowly, slow and shallow thrusts into you and rubbing your clit ever-so-often even if you obviously didn't deserve it. he wants to hear those sweet moans, even if those whiny pleads are ruining the experience.

he can't focus on your walls suffocating his dick when all you're doing is crying your heart out. with a clear irritation he pushes down on your stomach as he leans over to get a piece of tightly woven rope. you didn't get a moment to slap him away as he was already looming over you, forcefully putting the rope over your mouth and around your head. tying it tight enough so it won't come off and it will effectively muffle those loud and annoying cries.

"I don't want to hear you speak."

you were expecting a quaint 'understand?' from him but the question would've been a waste of breath because of the way your body forced itself to relax under him.

at this moment he straightened your bent legs and put them on his shoulders, folding your body in half as he stayed at an acute angle. the tears and snot running down your face shouldn't have egged him on into ramming into you harder, faster, and dry especially.

but by the time he was leg up and full on pounding into you, you were wet enough for it. you were turned on by this, by him and his authority.

at least.

that's what he was getting from this.

you bite down on the rope as you whine through yet another orgasm and you sniffle up the snot as your free hand claws into the bed. its like you were scared to touch him. and that did hurt him a bit when he realized but the warmth. the look of vulnerability in your eyes as he does nothing but bully your gummy walls, is as addicting as drugs to him.

panting like a dog above you, he completely stops for a moment. clearly getting lightheaded as he puts one hand next to your head for stability. your eyes shoot open at the suddenness of his movements and as your eyes lock, he gives you such a conceited smirk.

pleased with his actions.

even when he's clearly overexerting himself from how pussy drunk he is.

he takes a huge breath, sitting upright and running his fingers through his hair. yanking your lifeless legs to his chest, he shifts his technique to quick and shallow thrusts. your body jolting violently against your will. but this is what he wants.

against your will.

this is his will.

this is what he wants from you.

he wants you to cum, over and over and over again until you get it into your thick head.

you have no will.

and because you have no will to control your bodily functions, your bound hand clenched in a tight fist as you cum again.

you had a wicked imprint across your face and your wrist was blood red. you couldn't didn't leave. not until he said so. and he didn't say so.

not yet.

leaning down to your ear, his hand squeezes your arm tightly as you sat in his suffocating embrace. stiff in his arms as you didn't want to engage in any touch with him. it angered him.

"do I need to use the rope again."

the dead tone he used in combination to his slow pace of words sent a sharp shiver down your spine.

with a soft exhale of a shaky breath, you hesitantly shake your head and his draped arm tugs you impossibly closer to his side.

"good." he gave you a small belittling pat on your forearm as he kissed your forehead and he's quite proud to call himself

your boyfriend.

a/n: someone pls take this trope away from me. anyway thats all for now, literally can't stop thinking about the possibilities for this. thanks to the anons that were asking for more! honestly made me more incline to post.

more writing

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm Back (Did Ya Miss Me?)

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2025 Catch Up

Buckle up beeaches, we got a lot to cover.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Knock Out (Fri WeTV ) ep 1 of 12 - I called this one (via the trailer) "a low quality less fun/funny version of Wandee Goodday" and I am thoroughly ashamed of myself.

It's GREAT.

Harsh but i like it. And the fighting is quite good. Thun has a very Lan Wangji aspect to him. Protective, monosyllabic, powerful seemingly disengaged... still waters fuck run deep and all that. Poor Keen is downtrodden, clever, and adorable. It's a great dynamic, I like this a whole lot more than I expected. The pacing is even good. I'm so pleased with this BL! Damnit why did WeTV have to win this crop of new offerings?

My Stubborn (Sun iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 10 - of course it's stupid high heat nonsense, that always ranks higher than it should for me.

3 Sorn just treats Jun like a living doll meets boyfriend and I'm kinda into the kink of it. Jun is treating him like a first time dildo so what's good for the top is good for the bottom, I guess? Also i got my bites so I'm pleased. I like that Jun is a snarky tsundere who knows how to stand up for himself. Refreshing take on the archetype.

4 I’m not opposed to this style office whipping boy in this particular show. No idea why. I just like it with these characters. I think it’s cause Sorn is so clearly in love, and literally has no idea what to do except bully the boy. Life's tough for a tsundere seme with a mad crush on an easygoing sunshine uke.

Top Form (Thurs WeTV) eps 7-9 of 10 - Yet another installment of get that boy a therapist not a boyfriend. How many is that now? Countless.

7 I like how they chose to translate the pronouns (jao et al) from old-fashioned Thai into old-fashioned English (thee/thou et al)! It worked really well. I've been waiting for someone clever to do this. Well done Khun Translator! We likie!

I have to talk about how good Boom is after having seen him in his previous (not good) BL. (Where he played the seme character with a completely different screen energy.) He really is a stellar actor.

8 Way to get your fetish shoe-horned in their Japan, even when you’re being adapted. I’ve got to say that these two not only have decent chemistry, they’re really great at kissing for camera. They seem to be very aware of where the lens is and making sure their angles are good. It’s an unusual skill. It’s rare for both parties to be this aware as well simultaneously good at execution.

PROPS! They got sasaeng motivation down! Someone did their research.  

9 DOOM ep!!! 

Boys in Love (Sun iQIYI ) ep 3-4 of 12 -

3 I identify with Shane so much, re-organizing for avoidance is exactly what I do when emotional. Now that there’s an element of angst, I’m enjoying this show a little bit more, it feels more high school and less sappy.

4 They are EXTREMELY cute! This has a kind of modern Lovesick vibe to it, which I guess they’re going for? But it’s really hard to nail that without a bit of edge (which GMMTV rarely does. Still, I’m liking this better than I did at first.

The Next Prince (Sat iQIYI) eps 1-3 of 14 - Hotly anticipated 3 yr production featuring ZeeNewNu in a fantasy/historical where Zee plays a knight bodyguard and Nu a prince fighting for his right to inherit.

1 Okay Princess Diaries BL, let's do this thing! It's all very fancy and it would like us to very-much know how fancy it is. Zee is still hot.  The fight scenes are still not. I don’t know where this is going. But the chemistry is good so *shrug*. I am in ecstasies over how incredibly not-British that supposedly British party was.

2 This show is wildly bad. But the wildly part is fun. Absolutely nothing makes sense, you could ride a motorcycle through those plot holes. No one behaves logically, unless you assume it is a straight up fairytale. Secondary couple is giving TulHin vibes and I am IINTO IT. You know I love a good whipping boy. 

3 So they are misogynistic but not homophobic? That doesn’t make sense. Are we in a Hellenistic cultural model or something? Oh no, I’m applying logic again. Must turn off brain-meats. That gold crown looks exactly like a hot cross bun.

Could we please get onto the secondary couple at this juncture? They look so cute and I’m mad that we haven’t seen anything substantial with them yet.

Pit Babe 2 (Fri iQIYI) eps 1-3 of 13 - More conspiracy and struggles but less omegaverse.

I have to admit to reservations upfront. It took me days to finally watch the first episode. Historically I’m not a big fan of second seasons in BL. And while I enjoyed Pit Babe OG at the time, it’s not my favorite chaos BL. I convinced myself to watch the new installment by simply saying it would be all right if they messed with any of the other couples, so long as they left AlanJeff alone. And now. The chaos.

1 Of course I love Willy. Hot & creepy = my kryptonite. Nice to see Nut again, even nicer to hear that beautiful voice of his. 

2 Okay whatever. Just don't break up Alan & Jeff. 

3 I said not to mess with AlanJeff, didn't I? Argh. Meanwhile Kenta remains my favorite precious peanut. Also his arm muscles have returned in force, I see. Excellent.

Honestly, I rarely watch BTS footage, except for this show. The cast just seem to be having so much fun. I think I like the BTS better than the actual show.

I am so happy to have them back on my screen.

My Sweetheart Jom (Fri YT) ep 1 of 12 - I admit I wasn't sold on this one from the trailer but Saint is back and I'm disposed to be intrigued by the kind of script that would pull him in. So far it feels a bit Tale of Thousand Stars lite.

I love the 3 kids = one brain cell side kicks. I also like the personalities of the main characters. They are both noble and caring in their own way. I enjoy that aspect. it remains to be seen what their chemistry as like as a couple. But I’m enjoying this more than I thought I would.

The BangkokBoy (Sat Gaga) eps 2-4 of 12 -

2 Now we know how everything went down. I fast-forward through a lot of the fighting in prison. I think as our leads still haven’t met we can assume that this is not quite a BL. I think there’s also a chance that this one might not end happy. If my spidey sense goes off within the next three episodes I might drop it until I know for sure.

3 I’m going to ban Thailand and Vietnam from using flashbacks until episode six of any given show. You can’t use filler so early on in a series! Just take a shorter run time. It would be great if the main couple actually met at some point in this damn show.

4 Oh dear. More triggers. Everyone in the show is either a psychopath or utterly broken. At least our boys finally had a date. Prat fall kiss was not necessary in this style of show.

Loy Kaew First Love (Fri YT) ep 1 of 6 - I said I wasn’t gonna watch this one, but then it just dropped into my YouTube feed and who am I to resist? It’s a pretty simple story about two boys falling in love in a remote village where that just isn't a thing so everyone is against them. The scenery and the culture is interesting and different from what we are used to. It's got slightly better production values than I was expecting, and the chemistry is good. So a surprise continue for me, but I will warn you that this style of BL from Thailand only ends happily about 50% of the time, so I may drop it if I feel it's gonna head south.  

Sweet Tooth Good Dentist (Fri iQIYI) eps 6-8 of 12 - When they are a couple, they’re an extremely cute couple. But it starts and ends there.

6 The most ridiculous love triangle ever. As is often the case with me and love triangles could we not just have the lead and the secondary get together instead? Jimmy & Mark have great chemistry. 

7 Oh i don't know. And frankly I don’t think they do either.

8 Finally all of Sant’s trauma and background come out. Also they're good kissers. But I'm not warming to this show for some reason.

Eye Contact (Weds WeTV) ep 1 of 12 - Uni BL about a boy and a very hot campus star. Oh goodie. Something new and different for us.

It’s about what i expected. Not good but the actors are seasoned. (I already miss PokeTongue.) The production is truly awful - the sound being particularly bad and inconsistent. But frankly, I've seen worse. It's very "ordinary bottom trope" (Japan's term not mine) with 2 hot guys chasing/bullying our nerd for no apparent reason. Plot twist! Our ordinary is not so ordinary at all! And I kind of like that bit. Oh it’s still truly bad, but am I gonna keep watching it anyway? Hell yes.

Mission to the Moon (YT) 1-6 of 12 - Short form BL airing on YT, historical reincarnation romance combined with my ghost bf trope. Not sure how this one will end happy, but it's so low impact I'm watching it anyway. So far it's... fine.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Sweetheart Service (Korea Fri YT) eps 1-2 of 12 - After being pressured by his family to get married, Min U asks Yu Ha to pretend to be his fiancé.

1 I’m enjoying it. Although Strongberry seems to have dropped in quality to the level of that other Korean company that’s airing short form on YouTube these days. In other words, it doesn’t really have its signature style anymore.

2 Despite my reservations around the directing and filming, I'm enjoying this show. They know where it’s at. There hitting all their marks for and old-school BL this time around. Carry on, I trust you.

Fight for You (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 7-9 of 12 -

7 They are awfully cute. I am starting to be scared of all the lies tho. 

8 Pretty much the same as last week. Honestly, not a lot is changing each episode. This one doesn’t seem to be progressing much.

9 Finally the DOOM ep. Cry babies, CRY.

It Finished, I'm Mildly Annoyed

Business as Usual (Korea) Final thoughts - An office reunion romance about college boyfriends meeting each other again in the workplace. Korea doing its bog standard miscommunication for the sake of plot + catlike tsundere uke but with surprise! sex out the gate. This one was mostly frustrating although the chemistry was decent and the love triangle wasn't really (yay!). It's fine. 8/10

Something Is Not Right (Korea) Final thoughts - Look, this is essentially a story of unrequited love out of willful unwillingness to believe the truth when it is staring you in the face AND told directly to you clearly. One boy confesses and then refuses to take the yes that came after it as a yes. (Like a reverse Mr Collins.) As a consequence this ended up being one of the most frustrating KBLs I've seen in a long time. Quality and performance-wise this is probably an 8/10 BL, but out of pure annoyance I gave it a 7/10. You’re pissing me off, Korea.

Stand By Me (Vietnam YT) Final thoughts - I binge watched this on my travels. 2 young boys form a bond in childhood but are parted. They reunite later in high school (the older is college age). The older one us very puppy fixated and the younger very cat tsundere. It's fine. Stuff kinda happens. There are other characters. Who do... stuff. 6/10

Last Meal Universe (Thai) 8 eps - An alien who has come to destroy earth instead falls in love with Thai food and then the Thai boy who cooks it - realistic, actually. It's done, should I bother?

Lost in the Woods (Gaga) 7 eps - Not my thing, dropped at ep 2. All signs point to no change to that opinion so I won't be reviewing.

It's airing but......

Sashes and Hearts (Pinoy YT) 13 eps - Philippines is doing Drop Dead Gorgeous only all gay boys queening their asses off. Doesn't interest me, not sure if it's BL.

Secret Ghost (Thai Sat Viu) ?? eps - The trailer dropped and it looks so bad.

My Golden Blood (Weds iQIYI) 12 eps - dropped at ep 5.

In other news

Bain of Kpop group JUST B comes out - pretty historic for the industry, actually.

Yes, Viki was down for a bit mid week. It's back up again.

I rewatched while traveling

Light on Me - of course it’s still great, this is one of my few 10/10s for a reason.

My School President - I actually thought the pacing was better on a rewatch, during the original I got a little bored, this time I could simply ff through all of the stuff to do with music. It increased my enjoyment of it even more. Still a favorite.

La Pluie - I still hold with the first half being excellent, it's the second half where it loses itself (and me). Still a solid show with good core concepts an interesting things to say about major tropes. The rewatch didn’t change my opinion at all.

Cosmetic Play Lover - what can I say, I love this stupid show.

Tokyo in April is... - still a big sad for me, but a lot easier to take now that I know exactly what happens (and happened). This time around, I appreciated the performances more. Since I wasn’t as caught up in the story, I could really evaluate their nuances. It’s a great show. If you don’t mind your BL dark.

Next Week Looks Like This: Frigay is BACK!

Still Coming in May

5/18 Season of Love in Shimane AKA Ai no Kisetsu: The Season of Love (Thai) - Sequel to Kiseki Chapter 2 which I intensely disliked. I won't be watching this.

5/19 I Promise I Will Come Back (Thai Mon WeTV) 10 eps - A Thai Taiwanese colab. Stars two Thai actors and Taiwanese identical twins from H3. However the lead and co-producer Tontae is actually a very good actor, so this could be good unless it's oen of those mostly intended to be a tourism advert for the Thai countryside. We shall see!

5/22 The Ex-Morning (Thai Thurs YT?) 10 eps - trailer Y This is an original script written just for the OG, direct by Lit (SOTUS) about a news reporter plagued by scandal who must work with his PR ex-boyfriend to rebuild his reputation. A reunion romance that's hitting pretty close to the IRL pair branded mark. It's no secret that (much as I make room for SOTUS because of it's significance) I don't love this pair, but we shall see what we get. Of course I'm gonna watch it. I have some standards to uphold - even if they don't.

Also: if GMMTV brought Ohm T on board simply to use him as everybody’s incredibly hot ex bf who turns up at opportune times, I’m actually really happy with that decision.

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S MONTH'S BEST MOMENTS (SO FAR)

He is SO CUTE. You know me and dimples.

This moment felt so honestly high school. (both Boys in Love)

Oh he's so damn proud of himself. (My Stubborn)

I just can't with these two, they are such good kissers. (Top Form)

If evil why so hot? (PIt Babe 2)

(last 3 weeks ago)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[daddyslittlecrow]

I saw your post asking for writing ideas and was all 👀 with the new trailer coming out for Caleb being a cyborg- what if it was about Caleb x MC in the forest feeling touch/intimacy for the first time and practically getting drunk on it 👀 then possessive sex out in the wilderness

The Target (Caleb x MC)

THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FIRST SUGGESTION 💖💖 UNFORTUNATELY IT SEEMS IM INCAPABLE OF DOING A SIMPLE DRABBLE OF SMUT (accidentally made this 2.9k words 🤭)

Not proof-read its like 2am rn

Warnings: MDNI. Literal sex below. All bells, some whistles…

Twigs snapped under the weight of his steady approach, the sound heightened by the silence of the forest. Despite sunlight filtering through the trees, no bird dared to chirp.

Tears stung your eyes. You made one final attempt to somehow push yourself through the rough bark of the tree at your back. Your stomach twisted with heavy dread. His dominating frame loomed over you. It blocked the warm rays on your face, closing in. It was too late.

“Target acquired.” 

Your throat constricted as you choked on a sob. This wasn't how you planned this to end. Not by the hands of a man who had been by your side since forever. Who always tried to be there every night, stroking your sweat-drenched skin as you heaved from your night terrors. 

Caleb, the man who kissed you after you sobbed for hours, wondering how anyone could love an “experiment”. The programme you both were under had stripped you both of everything. Yet somehow, Caleb always remained strong for you.  

He had confessed his feelings to you that night. It was the only tender moment you had shared. 

When he went to the lab the next morning for a routine check-up, they had implanted the chip and he was gone. Replaced by this cold-hearted monster. His amethyst eyes glared at you like you were vermin. Ready to be executed.

He stood, still as a statue, smothering you with his presence. You were both clad in your uniforms. It was meant to be a simple mission, one you hoped would give you the opportunity to talk some sense into him. Remind him of what he promised you once you both finally escaped.

You were stupid enough to believe the lies the higher-ups fed you, too distracted by your heart to double-check the facts. By the time you realised your mistake, he had trapped you.

“Caleb.” Your voice was pleading. Maybe now would be the last chance you’d have of reaching him. Something flickered in his eyes, fingers twitching. Then it was gone.

Caleb’s hand shot out, clamping around your neck. His voice was cold, devoid of all emotion. You could tell he was listening to whatever they were ordering on his radio. A curt nod and his grip on you tightened. “Activating elimination protocol…”

You closed your eyes, accepting your fate. Tears spilt, rolling down your face. If these were your last words, you hoped they’d find the version of him they stole from you.

“I love you.” You gasped, the power of your voice restricted by his hand. Instantly, the pressure on your throat vanished.

Your eyes snapped open, watching as Caleb took a step back. Confusion etched on his face. He looked at you, utterly lost. “Y/N…”

You recognised the softness and your heart raced. Did you finally break through to him? Was he listening? His brows scrunched together in pain. It looked like he was fighting against his chip.

But then he growled. “No. Stop.” His head shook as though he was trying to dislodge whatever was overriding him. 

Wasting no time, you bolted towards him. He caught your wrist but the attack surprised him. He tripped on a tree stump and he was on the ground, you landing directly on top of him. You used the distraction to quickly pull out his earpiece, tossing it away.

“Caleb.” You tried again. He was frowning at you, his piercing eyes glassed over. Almost dazed. “You belong to me. Not them, remember? You’re mine.”

You kissed him. His breath hitched against your lips and his hands grabbed onto you in an iron-clad grip. He was trembling. Short-circuiting. For a chilling moment, you thought he’d throw you off him. You almost cried with relief when he kissed you back.

His lips moved frantically against yours, consuming you. He pulled you closer and angled his head, tongue swiping along your quivering bottom lip. You granted him access to explore your hot mouth, eagerly swallowing your gasps. 

A quiet whine slipped from you as he pulled back, trying to look into the depth of your soul from the way his eyes bore into yours. “I’m so sorry Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry.”

His beautiful eyes brimmed with tears as the realisation hit him. He had become the very thing you both swore to destroy. And you saved him. A lifetime wouldn’t be long enough to make it up to you. “It’s okay Caleb. I know it wasn't you.” 

“My sweet girl…” His voice faltered, thick with long-repressed emotion. “I promise to spend every breath I take proving I’m yours.” 

The world shifted around you as he moved, suddenly underneath him. He captured your lips once more. His kiss was more urgent than before, like he was finally claiming you. 

Everything around you went dark. Nothing mattered. Only him. You snapped your gloves off to feel his soft hair between your fingers. He groaned at your touch. The sound coursed through your veins, melting into a simmering pool deep in your core.

He broke contact with your lips to leave heated kisses along your jaw, slowly moving to your neck. 

“I love you.” It came out of you like a plea.

It broke down every morsel of control within him. He lifted his head to look down at your face, drinking in the sight of your flushed face. He needed to have you. Completely. He never felt hunger like this.

You. You. You. The only thing that controlled him.

His mouth was on you, trailing along every bit of exposed skin he could find. His hands moved to the fastenings on your uniform, releasing them until the zipper slowly pulled down, revealing more of you.

Losing patience, he pushed the zipper faster until it was fully open. Then he ripped your uniform off in a few rough tugs. 

He sat up on his knees, taking in the sight of you, still covered by a sports bra and panties. With your uniform still in his shaking hands, he folded it. He gently lifted your head, placing the makeshift pillow under it. 

You didn’t care if you were currently lying on a bed of hot coals at this point. But his commitment to your comfort made your heart clench. The towering trees cocooned you from any trace of wind. You found the temperature surprisingly pleasant despite the lack of clothing.

He pressed his lips onto your forehead before he sat back. His eyes darkened at the growing spot of moisture that covered your core. He made quick work of his own uniform, tossing it carelessly when he was finally free.

You supported yourself on your elbows, caressing his body with your eyes. He almost shuddered. When you saw him, thick and straining against his briefs, you bit back a moan. 

“You like seeing me like this, don’t you Pip?” Caleb fed from the look of pure desire on your face. You reached behind you and unclasped your bra in response, still allowing it to cover your breasts. He crawled over you until his face was inches from yours. 

Tilting his head, he rested his mouth against your ear. “You’re the only one that can do this to me.” His words sent delicious shivers down your spine. Voice laced with a yearning so intense, it made you burn with raw need. 

You had imagined this moment during restless nights, hoping a release would tire you enough to stave off the dreams. You didn’t mind when the dreams still found you on those nights. Because they were all of him.

Caleb grabbed the front of your bra and wretched it from your body. He cursed as he looked down, reaching out to test the weight of one of your breasts. His thumb skimmed along the sensitive nub, earning him a hiss of pleasure. 

“Caleb…please.” You sounded so pretty when you begged. He made a mental note to himself, wanting to make you do it again and again in the future. But right now - he would give you everything you wanted. 

His fingers trailed along your skin as he travelled lower, brushing over the waistband of your panties. He continued until his fingers found the throbbing ache of your clit. You let out a guttural groan as he pressed softly, coaxing you with circles as you became a sodden mess against his fingers.

Your moans wrapped like a vice around his cock, making him impossibly harder. His mouth watered at the thought of your sweet juices on his tongue. Shifting so he was nestled properly between your thighs, he bent down. 

Your heart stopped as he pressed his nose against your clothed pussy. He inhaled deeply, your earthy scent obliterating every thought - every voice - from his mind. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head at the way he made something so..filthy, feel so good.

“Fuck.” His jaw clenched, hands gripping the swell of your thighs. He used them as his anchor before licking a hard strip up your swollen slit. You couldn’t take it. You needed more. 

“Caleb..ah. I need-“ Your brain turned to mush as your panties were moved to the side. Head tilted down, you watched the corner of his lip tug into a smirk.

“What do you need? I’ll give you everything.” You didn’t have a chance to reply. His wet hot tongue against your bare clit was like a jolt of electricity, back arching as you pushed into his face. He devoured your slick cunt, drinking from you like he had been thirsty for days.

You couldn’t stop watching him, buried between your thighs. It was the most erotic thing you’d ever seen. Your moans and the sound of Caleb slurping from you made your stomach clench, a familiar coil of pleasure building. Hard and fast.

Caleb groaned against your pussy, your arousal flooding his senses, heating his blood. Nothing could’ve ripped him from you, not now. Not when he craved the sight of you coming undone. 

One of his hands left your thighs, using a finger to coat himself in your slick. He brought it to your weeping hole, pushing slowly to avoid hurting you. He knew you’d be tight, virginity still intact. Knowing he was blessed to be your first was a privilege he’d never take for granted.

Your cunt greedily sucked him in. The realisation of how ready you were almost made him spurt right then. He pumped his finger into you, slowly stretching you out as he continued licking your clit.

The sensations of his tongue and finger had you writhing. You reached out and grasped his hair, pulling hard. It only made him work faster. Your orgasm was hurling towards you, the pitch of your voice rising.

When he curled his fingers, massaging your g-spot, all you saw was white. You came violently, screaming his name. Every ounce of restraint in him snapped but he kept working you through the aftershocks of your orgasm. 

You had five seconds to come back to your senses before he tore your panties off. His briefs soon followed. Then he grabbed your wrists and lifted you up. Caleb crashed his lips against you once again, driven by a level of desire so intense, it bordered on madness.

He pushed you backwards, a soft whimper filling his mouth as you realised he had pinned you against the very tree that had trapped you before.

In an instant his hands grabbed your ass, sliding them down the back of your thighs. He hoisted you up effortlessly, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist. 

You could feel him poking against your belly. He was so hard, so swollen for you. It made your pussy ache as it clenched around nothing. You had never felt so empty.

He broke the feverish kiss, resting his forehead on yours. Nothing could describe the raw emotion that blew his pupils wide. His whole world was in his arms. You stole the air straight from his lungs.

“You are the most beautiful thing the stars will ever create.” His voice was barely a whisper. The glassy sheen of your eyes reflected a monster. A hard lump formed in his throat, making it nearly impossible to swallow. Tears damped his dark lashes. “And I tried to…”

His eyes squeezed shut. Too afraid to look at you. At himself. Your thumb swiped away the tears that ran down his cheek. You hated seeing him like this, broken by the men who made him. 

It wasn't his fault. Neither you nor he had any choice up until now. He felt your breath tickle his lips. “But you didn't Caleb. And that means somewhere…right here.” You pressed a hand over his thundering heart. “You’re still in there. I can feel it. Let me feel you.”

He kissed you then like he was trying to consume your faith in him, wanting to absorb it - like it could somehow replace the part of him they stole. You were his anchor. His reason to keep fighting against the programme that had taken everything from you both. 

You moved your hips, your body burning for him. Caleb let out a low hiss as you tried to bring him closer. Your teeth found his bottom lip, biting him so hard you almost drew blood. A sign to take back what was his.

He groaned against the pain, surrendering himself to the depth of his desire. Tightening his grip on you, he shifted his hips to align it with your wet heat. 

His eyes never left yours as he slowly pushed into you. 

You gasped as you felt him, stretching you out inch by inch. You welcomed the pain. “Good girl. Just a little more. You're doing so well.” He kissed your neck, sucking the sensitive spot just below your jaw. 

Pleasure started to mingle with the pain just as he finally bottomed out. You loved how full he felt inside you. “Move your hips for me.” Caleb purred. He wanted you to set the pace first until he was sure you were comfortable. 

You frowned at first, not understanding how to follow his request. Your hips pulled back, noticing the way Caleb’s muscles tensed. You felt yourself grow shy as you tested your movements. 

His lips parted, lost in how good you felt. So warm and tight. He used his hands to guide your hips, his cock dragging sinfully along the velvety wetness of your walls. The depraved sounds of your cunt, as it squelched from your hot slick, had him twitching inside you. When he heard you start to moan for him, he lost it.

He couldn't restrain himself anymore. He needed to fuck you. “Just hold onto me, Y/N. Tell me if it's too much, yeah?” He pulled back until his tip was barely inside, and then he thrusted. Hard. Again. And again.

He started fucking you like he owned you. Wanting to prove to you that he was here. He was yours. Every pretty sound that came from your mouth was rightfully earned. He relished in the sting of your nails as you gripped him for dear life.

Your foreheads pressed together, sticking with sweat. “You’re so perfect.” Your pussy fluttered at the carnal heat of his words. “You don't know how much I’ve thought about you like this. Having you a writhing mess, pussy so full that you can't think of anything but me.”

You didn't know how he learned to talk like that but it had you on the verge of gushing all over him. The rough grooves of the tree scratched your back but you were too drunk on his cock to care. 

“I want to feel you cum around my cock. You'll give it to me, yeah?” All you could do was nod, your voice overtaken by grunts and groans. Your release was slowly building, stars spotting your vision. 

“Such a. Good. Fucking. Girl. For me.” He thrust with each word. A hand slipped between your bodies, rubbing fast circles over your clit. His release was quickly chasing yours as your walls started to spasm.

“Oh god, Caleb. Please-” You were begging him to keep going as he pushed you to the edge. 

“Cum for me, beautiful. That's it.” Your whole body shook as you fell apart on his pistoning cock. You hard came all over him. Soaking his cock and onto his balls. It dripped onto the ground.

The sight instantly had his hips stuttering, your name the last thing on his lips before he pumped thick spurts of cum into your slobbering cunt. He whimpered into the crook of your neck as you milked every last drop. He didn't think he’d ever cum like that without you.

You both breathed heavily, recovering from the earth-shattering release. Completely satisfied. Caleb was the first to move, carefully sliding out of you before setting you down on your feet. His arms continued to support you as your thighs trembled. 

“Are you okay?” Concerned eyes scanned your face. 

You gave him a soft smile. “Yeah, just a little tender.” 

You were both silent, lost in thought. Reality had reared its ugly head. You obviously couldn't go back to the programme. They had clearly wanted to get rid of you. But Caleb?

As if he could read your mind, he pulled you into a tight embrace. Your face rested against his chest as he stroked your hair. He sighed deeply before he spoke.

“I’m not going to leave you, Y/N. I'll follow you to the end of every planet to keep you by my side. If I have to fucking kill them one by one, I’ll do it.” You hugged him harder, trying to fight back your tears. The way his voice wavered told you he was close to doing the same. 

“You're mine, okay? And until my heart stops…it will always be yours.” 

——

Psst. If you liked this, please tell me. If there’s anything my MC and I have in common, it’s praise 🥲

-Elle 🫡

[theartofwoompwoomps]

Why me

ES Soundwave x human!reader

Summary: Ravage brings him a human to console him after the other cassettes left. (I haven’t watched earthspark lol)

———————————————————————

This had been going for awhile now. 

Soundwave would ask him to wait a bit outside, then when allowed back in the whole room was turned upside down.

His boss never told him directly, but he didn’t need to for him to understand.

The cassettes leaving had a great impact in them. He could sense it. Especially whenever he’d lay next to him, Soundwave would caress him more affectionately. Almost as if he were afraid of losing him too.

He didn’t like seeing his boss like this. Nor was he used to it. At first, he was patient with him, understanding that Megatron’s betrayal and his cassettes leaving had wounded him deeply.

But,… it was starting to get overbearing. 

His attention was always on him, if he needed anything, did something, or was with others.

But, He didn’t want to hurt him. So talking about it was out of the question. His boss’s state of mind wouldn’t take it the right way. That’s why he made sure to keep these thoughts deep away from him. Only allowing worry to be detectable.

~~~~~

Soundwave had a mission recently without him, and it was the perfect opportunity to execute his plan. Shockwave helped him as well. 

He went down to the fleshy creatures land, where news wasn’t too popular, and where nature was abundant. Looking for someone who would need his bosses help.

Walking deeper through the woods, the fog kept blocking his eyesight, but he needed to get this human before soundwave got back.

Searching more frantically, rushing around, scaring many creatures in the process. He halted at what was in front of him.

A human.

They were on the ground. Not moving. No sound from them.

Creeping up to them he kneeled his head closer to listen, practically on top of their small chest, he finally heard it. A small pulse.

Taking you with the things you had in hand, he hurried back. Unaware of the dangers you had faced.

~~~~~~

Shockwave was displeased to see the state the human was in currently. Especially since they weren’t the most qualified for human care. But they did try their best at preparing a cube just for you.

It had some basic necessities, like a small bathroom, a mattress with a blanket, and a vending machine. Ravage hoped it’d be enough for now. 

He did feel a bit bad for taking you, but this was necessary. Glancing your way to see how you were, he saw that your state hadn’t changed. You were still unconscious. 

Feeling unease crawl through him doubts started arising. Maybe he shouldn’t have taken you. He didn’t even know if you could survive with them, but maybe that was the exact situation Soundwave needed. 

It was too late for doubt anyway.

Picking you up gently with his denta, he placed you on his boss’s berth, then draped his own body on you. Almost as if he were spooning you in his own way. 

Now he simply needed to wait.

~~~~~~

Soundwave had been on edge the whole time. He got the job done, but his mind was somewhere else. 

Being without Ravage threw his emotions in a turmoil. He needed to get back. He had to go back. 

Rushing back, not even glancing at anyone, he wad dead set on finding Ravage. 

Heading first to his quarters, he opens the door quite loudly upon arriving. Only feeling himself relax when his optics found his dear cassette.

Walking towards him, he saw them on his berth waking from recharge.

He waited for Soundwave to sit next to him before revealing you. Not saying anything before getting up. Making sure you were in plain sight.

His boss simply stared down.

It was silent. Only your small breathes and the vents in their bodies making noise. The whole thing felt extremely heavy on him. Not daring to make a move or noise. Then Soundwave broke the silence.

“Ravage. Query: what is a human doing here.”

It was hard to tell what he was thinking, but he knew he was in trouble unless he started explaining. “well,.. I found them..and brought them… for you to keep them.” 

Soundwave couldn’t believe it. Nor did he detect any lie. Why did his cassette even want him to have a human? 

And as if the roles were reversed and Ravage could read his mind he continued explaining. 

“They are a gift from me to you” lowering his head towards you then towards him. “So you have to take care of them.”

Soundwave was still processing the whole thing.

You were a gift? To take care of? His head filled with questions, logic and emotion battling inside. 

But, Ravage took his silence as an invitation to place your small body on him. Leave his boss to figure things out on his own.

———————————————————————

Masterlist 

[writingquestionsanswered]

Someone mentioned that main characters can get overdeveloped. I'm familiar with characters being underdeveloped, but how do you tell if they are overdeveloped?

5 Signs Your Character is Overdeveloped

#1 - You spend time illustrating personality traits that aren't important to the story. Your character's personality traits should have some bearing on how they move through the story. Don't take the time to illustrate your character's stubbornness if being stubborn won't have some impact on the story.

#2 - You excessively describe their physical appearance and what they're wearing. While it's a good idea to give the reader a sense of what the character looks like and to describe what they're wearing when it shows something important about the character, world, or situation, the reader doesn't need an in-depth physical description--or even reminders--every time the character appears on the page.

#3 - You spend a lot of time illustrating their interactions and relationships with minor characters even though they have no bearing on the story. We like our characters to feel real and three-dimensional, which means giving the reader a sense of who they are, what their normal life is like, and who is important to them. However, we don't want to spend a lot of time on characters/relationships that don't really do anything for the story. For example, it's nice that your character has a good relationship with their elderly neighbor, but if the relationship isn't necessary to show us who the character is, set up or execute a plot point, or fulfill a thematic/symbolic role, it probably shouldn't be there.

#4 - Your character is a "jack of all trades." It's great for your character to have hobbies, skills, and experience in various things, but we don't want our characters to look like a walking, talking, padded resume. For the most part, any hobby, skill, or experience highlighted should play an important role in the story. If being proficient at roller skating doesn't tell us something about the character we can't learn another way, allow for the setup or execution of a plot point, or fulfill a thematic/symbolic role, it's probably not important to highlight that hobby, skill, or experience--or any other that doesn't contribute to the story.

#5 - You spend a lot of time on unnecessary backstory - Backstory plays an important role in helping us to understand who the character is, how they got to where they are in life, what things led up to their internal conflict and emotional wound/s, etc. However, we don't want to spend time on things that aren't ultimately important to the story in some way. For example, there's no point in flashing back to your character's week at surfing camp if nothing happened that week that is important to who they are or anything else that happens in the story.

A good rule of thumb for really any detail in a story is to ask yourself, "What is lost if I remove this detail?" If the answer is "nothing," you can probably go ahead and remove it. :)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[hannahbarberra162]

Under the Microscope (Yandere Sabo x Reader) Part 8

on Ao3 18+ MDNI

All the other chapters

This particular chapter is fluffy. I promise Sabo's coming back to the island soon. And that he's just as focused as he was before :)

Remember I don’t know anything about science! If you do, just pretend you don’t either!

Your POV

“Make a Logia fruit? Um, that’s kind of the opposite of what I’ve been working on,” you explained, wiggling your toes in your wet socks. Your butt, feet, and sleeves were wet from the sea water lapping gently at you as you sat on the beach. The temperature was dropping steadily and you felt the chill of the night starting to bother you as you splashed. “I’ve been trying to reverse engineer the fruits and find a way to nullify their powers. I was thinking that maybe, um, Sabo…or someone..could um..I’m not sure really. But I can’t - those fruits shouldn’t exist and it’s all my - all my f-fault…S-Sabo tried to tell um tell me -” Your heart started racing again, beating faster and faster as your thoughts returned to the collateral damage you’d caused.

You felt Ace’s hand on the back of your neck. He was probably trying to bring you comfort but right now it felt more like the weight of a guillotine. You shook him off, wanting to wallow in the feelings you deserved in spades. You hugged your knees and rested your head on top as you ran your hands along the parts of your pant legs that were still dry. You realized your hands were stinging from salt water that had entered the open wounds left from biting your fingers.

“I caused a lot of pain and suffering, too. I get it,” Ace said, stretching out his legs. You hummed, you couldn’t imagine any one person had unintentionally brought so much devastation to the world as you had.

“Did you watch Marineford? The Paramount Wars?” Ace asked while observing the sunset. 

You took a deep breath, held it in for a moment, then exhaled. “Um, no, Sabo already asked. I was supposed to watch it live but I was too busy and then I never got caught up. I had just started getting assignments from the higher ups at that time and -”

“That was me. I caused all those Marines to die, my friends to die. Brought my brother into my mess, almost killed him too. Even killed my own father.” Ace said with no emotion in his voice.

“You - you didn’t kill your father. Are you playing with me? I’m sorry, it’s hard for me to tell sometimes,” you said, wiping your running nose on your sleeve. You hoped he was joking but the stiffness of his shoulders belied his calm tone.

“No. I’m Portgas D. Ace, Gol D. Roger’s son. I was sentenced to execution but Luffy came to save me. Whitebeard and the crew too.” You tried to take in all the information Ace was telling you but it had your head swimming. 

“Is Luffy your other brother? The one in the picture with you and Sabo?” you asked an obvious question to avoid the awkwardness of his statement. Helping others with their emotions was never your strong suit.

“Yeah. Strawhat Luffy. Me n’ him n’ Sabo aren’t related by blood. Roger was my biological father but Whitebeard was my dad. Died trying to save me. Buncha my crew siblings died too. Good men.”

“Oh.” You wanted to support him like he’d supported you but you were afraid to say the wrong thing in case he started crying or got angry. “That explains a lot of your lineage factors,” you added quietly. “If your dad was Gol D. Roger, it makes sense you’d have Conqueror’s Haki.”

“Didn’t help me much,” Ace lamented. “Luffy even got me free and all I did was waste the opportunity by taking bait from Akainu. Fucker tried to kill Luffy and punched me through the chest. The only reason I was revived is Law brought me to his sub.”

You blinked rapidly. “Law? Trafalgar Law? Dr. Trafalgar D. Water Law?” Ace grunted.

“Yeah, Trafalgar Law. How come you know him but not me’r Luffy? I’m more famous than him,” Ace said in a half hearted joke. 

“Oh, I’m familiar with Dr. Trafalgar from his articles, not his piracy. He’s brilliant, his articles are always so intriguing. I pay for a subscription out of my own pocket to the journals that publish him, actually. His last article was about heart replacement complications, I wonder if that was from you,” you mused. You cringed as you realized that was not an appropriate statement to make, considering it was likely Ace’s heart he detailed in the article.  

“Probably. He said it was difficult, but I didn’t ask about the details,” Ace said unbothered.

“How did he save your life?” You were curious about the intricacies of Dr. Trafalgar’s devil fruit power and how he used it in conjunction with his medical knowledge and skills. You’d hoped to be invited to a Warlord meeting and catch a glimpse of him but it had never happened.

“I dunno, I was dead for that part,” Ace stated, flicking his long hair over his shoulder.

“Right,” you said, wishing you could bury your head in the sand much like your toes were. If Sabo were here he’d know what to say, you thought. Unlike your own awkward nature, Sabo was suave and charming and would know how to soothe his brother. 

“Are you still healing? Is that why you still have all those bandages?” you asked. Ace raised his eyebrows and looked down at his own chest.

“Oh, no. I’m healed, there’s just a huge scar I don’t like seeing and the yukata doesn’t cover it.” he explained.

“Why don’t you wear a shirt then?” Ace frowned like you’d asked him to eat sand off the beach.

“Nah, not my style. Besides, all the shirts here are Sabo’s and uh…they’re a little too frilly for me,” Ace said. Shirts weren’t his style? What on earth did that even mean? And why didn’t Sabo bring him any? Maybe Sabo was keeping Ace on the island too, not letting him leave. You decided to gently press for information while Ace was in a sharing mood.

“So how long has Sabo kept you on the island?” you asked, hoping Ace would reveal some negative feelings towards Sabo. If Ace wanted off the island, maybe the two of you could work together and figure something out.

“Hm? He doesn’t keep me here. Actually, he’s been trying to get me to leave for a while. Wants me to “reintegrate back into society.” Ace said, using air quotes and mimicking Sabo’s voice, your hopes of escaping dashed. Still, you stifled a laugh at Ace’s impression, trying to keep your composure for the serious conversation. Ace gave you a small smile. “It’s OK, you can’t say anything to me I haven’t said to myself already.” The sun had set, leaving the two of you in the chill of the dusk. “C’mon, it’s cold and I’m sure the water’s making you feel shitty. Let’s go back to the house, get changed. If you get sick, Sabo’s gonna yell at me even more than he’s already gonna.” 

Ace stood up and offered you a hand, pulling you to your feet as well. The two of you walked in companionable silence for a minute before he spoke again.

‘But just hypothetically speaking, could you make a Logia fruit? From a scientific standpoint?” Ace asked curiously.

Ace’s POV

Ace knew you fell for his bait when you slowed your stroll and began chewing your lip. He could practically see the cogs turning in your head as you thought through the possibilities, your wet socks squelching on the path to the house.

“Well….the other fruits were made in advanced scientific labs. I don’t have the equipment needed to engineer something like that…” you trailed off.

“No, no. Not to actually make it here. But could you make an artificial Logia fruit?” 

“I could use the- well, it depends which one,” you said, starting to gesticulate. “The fruit I’d have the most success in creating would be the Mera Mera that you and Sabo ate. You still have the lineage factor which provides a large part of the genetic material needed to make an artificial fruit. Oh, and a strand or two of Sabo’s hair, that’s definitely here. Oh, and maybe part of my own lineage factor? Even though mine is paramecia it might help with some of the active components… And I could probably use any fruit, but for a Logia I would probably want something with a similar quality, maybe some kind of spicy - no that wouldn’t really make a difference, I think Vegapunk used apples? But there aren’t any here so maybe from a common fr- no, no…” you were off in thought, talking to yourself about how the fruit could be made. Reaching the deck of the house, you stopped before you went up the stairs. You stared off in the distance in silence, giving Ace pause.

“Hey, are you alright in there? Didn’t mean to start anything, I was -”

“The flame flower,” you stated. 

“Right.” Ace nodded knowingly, but had no idea what you were referring to.

“I could use the flame flower as the base and the genetic material provided by your and Sabo’s lineage factor. That’s how I could make it work,” you said, nodding slowly. Ace’s mouth dropped open as he watched you staring off into the darkness, Sabo hadn’t exaggerated. Your genius was on par with Vegapunk and other top scientists of the world. You looked at Ace and tilted your head. “But again, I can’t actually do anything without a lab. And a lot of money. So, hypothetically probably. In reality, no.” You nodded to yourself and entered the house, going up the stairs to change your clothes. Ace trailed behind you, pulling on your sleeve to get your attention.

“But can’t you like….” Ace trailed off, using his fingers to pantomime pulling marionette strings.

“What? I don’t follow,” you replied, looking worn out. He should really leave you alone and let you sleep but Ace couldn’t drop the idea, not after you said it was possible.

“I’m not - I don't know how to say it, but like, can’t you like change stuff? Like move the molecules around or cells or whatever?” You blinked rapidly while frowning. 

“Say more,” you commanded, your brow furrowed. You looked like how he’d found you in Sabo’s office, completely focused on one thought. The intensity of your stare almost rivaled Luffy’s when he was serious. 

“Like, um, y’know, like change stuff when you magnify it. Like move the stuff around to make other things? Aren’t molecules the building blocks of life? So move the blocks around?” Ace finished with something Sabo had taught him, trying to get his idea across to you. He wasn’t a scientist but he knew devil fruits could be awakened, he’d tried to do it on his own but ran out of time before his death. Maybe this could be the key to your own fruit awakening and to him getting his powers back.

You stopped walking and stared past him, blinking rapidly. Ace waved his hand in front of your face after a moment. You were on the stairs, he didn’t want you to fall and get hurt when you finally surfaced again. You moved your head away from his hand but didn’t resume walking. Sighing, Ace picked you up, disrupting your thought process.

“H-hey! Put me down! I’m not a child,” you protested while making no movement to get out of his arms. 

“Go do your big thinking after you change your clothes. Like you said, none of this is possible here and if you get hypothermia Sabo’s gonna kill me for real this time,” Ace joked. Depositing you in Sabo’s room, you smiled at Ace.

“Thanks Ace. Good night,” you said, holding the door to shut it.

“Good night, kid,” Ace replied, smiling. He turned and walked away to his own room, getting inside before he heard you yell. 

“I’m not a kid! I think I’m older than you!” Ace chuckled lightly, reaching to unwind his bandages. 

Your POV

You were exhausted from the panic attack and the subsequent heart to heart with Ace. But you couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said to you. You were turning the thoughts over and over in your mind, thinking about artificial devil fruits and the implications of changing the molecular structure during magnification. Like you’d told Sabo, you could get to the sub-atomic level but it took a lot of concentration and effort. You closed your eyes to rest but you were fixated on Ace’s idea. You tossed and turned for what felt like hours until your stomach rumbled. Oh yeah, you remembered, you hadn’t eaten since earlier that day. It was going to be a long night for you anyway so you might as well eat some food while you thought through the creation of artificial Logia devil fruits.

Heading down to the darkened kitchen, you took out a bowl and some rice. You’d made jambalaya a few days prior so now you’d give your stir-fried rice a shot. There still wasn’t any fish in the house but it would taste ok without it. You were able to make the dish on autopilot, washing the rice and vegetables while thinking about molecular changes. As you thought, you noticed the droplets of water that had landed near the colander. 

You could probably… try what Ace suggested. Changing h2o to h2o2 wouldn’t cause a huge reaction or anything, it would just be hydrogen peroxide. And only one molecule… If you changed the wrong elements or made too many molecules unstable, you could cause a huge chain reaction but that would take so many molecules and this was just one…this was just water…After starting the rice and starting the vegetables sauteing, you magnified a water droplet on the table. Getting down to the molecular level took a few moments but shortly there were two h2o molecules in front of your eyes. Careful not to erase the image, you used your thumb and forefinger to try and pluck one of the oxygens from a molecule and put it into the other. Picking it up felt like static electricity and your heart was racing as you tried to move the oxygen from its current molecule. It almost felt sticky, like it didn’t want to move, but it didn’t take much effort to disrupt its bonds.

You held your breath as you placed it within the bonds of the other molecule. If it didn’t work, at least you tried. You let go.

It worked. 

You were now looking at a molecule of hydrogen peroxide and an hydroperoxyl radical left over. “Holy fuck,” you said softly, looking at the newly formed molecule. You rotated it under your magnification and it looked identical to every other hydrogen peroxide molecule you’d ever seen. The implications were….

“Boo,” a voice said from behind you.

You shrieked like a banshee, jumping in fright. Ace laughed loudly and you swatted him with the spatula you were holding while cursing at him.

“Ace!! What the fuck?! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why would you do that?!”

“Hey! Ow. Stop hitting me! Ow, that hurts! It was just a joke!” You huffed but you weren’t really mad as Ace dodged your well aimed spatula strikes.

“Why are you awake?” you asked, looking at the clock. It was the middle of the night, surely he had been sleeping like you should have been.

“Smelled good food cooking and I’m hungry,” he shrugged. You noticed he was wearing his yukata but no bandages underneath. The scarred skin on his chest was a deep red and in a circular pattern, blazing out from where his heart was. It was large and raised and had likely taken months to heal. You knew you were staring but the scar was so large and harrowing, you couldn’t stop looking at it.

“Stop undressing me with your eyes. You’re not my type,” Ace teased, sitting at the bar to wait for the food to be done. 

“Oh? And who is?” you asked, genuinely curious. You weren’t offended. Besides Sabo, you’d never been anyone’s type. And even Sabo was just pretending.

“Men,” Ace said offhandedly. Ah. Well, that made things between you a little easier since you didn’t have to worry about any sexual tension between the two of you. 

“Nice,” you replied, stirring the dish on the stove.

“Whatcha cookin’?” Ace asked, standing on the rungs of the bar stool to look over the counter and into the frying pan.

“Stir-fried rice. It’s one of the three dishes I can make, you’ve had the other two. Usually I put seafood in there too but we don’t have any,” you said, giving Ace a pointed look. 

“Well, there is a boat on the island,” Ace began, scratching his cheek. Your interest was immediately piqued - maybe you could use it to escape at some point. “But it’s my old one, Striker. It’s powered by fire and since I don’t have my devil fruit anymore, I can’t use it. There’s a sail but that’s not to propel it, just to direct it.”

You sighed, another plan to escape the island foiled. You thought in silence for a few moments, adding in the rice to the dish.

“What were ya lookin’ at?” Ace asked, watching you cook. You bit your lip, unsure if you should tell Ace about your experiment. You couldn’t think of a reason that the information could be used against you, and it was his idea anyway.

“Um. Well, it’s um. Not that big of a deal and I didn’t think it would work but um. I did kind of do what you said and, ah, changed the structure of a molecule - only one! Just one, it’s fine, don’t worry. And um it. It did work. I changed it by hand, so to speak. So I - that’s what I was looking at.” Ace waited patiently while you stumbled over your words.

“That’s amazing! So what does that mean? Does that mean you can make the devil fruit? The Mera Mera?” He exclaimed, his face breaking into a huge smile and eyes alight. 

“Um, yes, I suppose hypothetically speaking, I could potentially make a Mera Mera artificial fruit. It would be a huge undertaking but again, hypothetically, I could do it. Um, there’s enough genetic and lineage factor material here and I probably could if I worked on it enough but I don’t think -”

“This is wonderful! Oh my god I can’t wait, I’m gonna blow up Sabo when he comes back,” Ace exclaimed. He was off the chair and on his feet, pacing in front of the kitchen. “He’ll be fine, it can’t hurt him. Ooh, maybe we can finally fight each other! That little fucker has been using my moves, I know it. Gonna teach him who’s the real boss, ha! And I can finally make my way back to Wano! Maybe see Luff? I know his bounty is way higher -”

“Ace -”

“But before all that I need to find Marco and the crew. And Deuce, oh my god, Deuce. I miss that man so much, gonna kiss him first thing, did you know he was my first mate? I wonder -”

“Ace!”

“He might be doing better off without me, he wasn’t really a pirate, more of an intellectual type. You’d like him a lot. But I also need to go thank Traflagar and hug Bepo, there’s so much to do -”

“ACE!” 

Ace finally stopped pacing and chattering and looked at you. “Ace, I said I might be able to do it. I just made one molecule , do you know how much work it would take to engineer something like that?” Ace shrugged and waved off your concern, continuing to pace behind the counter.

“So what? You’re a genius, you’ll figure it out. Besides, it’s not like you have anything else to work on right now,” he said, unbothered by your hesitation.

“No,” you stated, crossing your arms. Ace turned on his heel to face you immediately.

“What do you mean ‘no’?” he asked worriedly, racing to the counter. 

“No. I’ve been working on ways to undo the damage my research has caused, not increase the damage. It’s unethical to bring yet another artificial devil fruit into the world, no matter who it goes to.” 

Ace held you in his gaze for a moment, staring into your eyes. Even though he wasn’t related by blood to Sabo some of their mannerisms were eerily similar. He plopped back down on the bar stool with a sigh and ran his hand through his tangled black hair. “You can’t undo what you’ve done. Trust me, I’m the first one to wish things were different, that I could change what I did. But it’s not possible. Doflamingo already made the money, Kaido got the soldiers, Vegapunk made the Seralinas or whatever. You can’t undo it. What were you going to do? Make a new fruit for them to eat? It won’t work, what’s done is done.” Ace got up and walked to where you were turning off the heat on the stove and put his hands on your shoulders. You looked up into his freckled face.

“The only thing to do now is to help the good side win, help people like me ‘n Sabo. Y’know, fight fire with fire,” he said seriously. 

“I don’t know, Ace….I don’t know if that’s something I want to do,” you hesitated. Ace hummed. 

“It could be a one time thing, make the Mera Mera and be done with it,” Ace pleaded, shaking your shoulders lightly. 

“Ace, even if this works, you’ll still be you. You’ll be the same person, with or without the fruit. It’s not going to solve all your problems. You need to work on your emotional healing, not just your body. You can’t even show your chest most of the time,” you said quietly. Ace didn’t respond, looking away to avoid your eyes.

Ace took his hands off your shoulders and went over to the cabinet, pulling out two bowls. His face was impassive but his departed enthusiasm spoke volumes. You plated the food and set the bowls side by side on the counter, Ace bringing you a fork. You ate in silence for a few minutes, Ace mostly pushing the food around his plate. You thought about what he’d said about Striker and getting off the island. If Sabo found out you could manipulate matter, you didn’t think he’d ever let you go. Your only window of escaping closed once Sabo came back to the island. Steeling yourself against your better judgment, you faced Ace.

“I’ll do it. On one condition,” you said, looking at him. Ace’s cheeks were puffed out wide with food.

“Hwaf cuhdihun?” Ace asked, not bothering to chew or swallow.

“You have to take me off the island. Away from here,” you stated. You knew Sabo and Ace were brothers but maybe the desired reward would offset his loyalty to Sabo.

“Hmm,” Ace mumbled as he chewed. You watched him closely to see his reaction, this would make or break your escape from Sabo.

“Sure, why not?” Ace said, quirking his eyebrow with a small smile. 

“You’re sure? You know I mean you need to take me away from Sabo, right?”

“Yeah, I got it. I can get you off the island if the fruit works. It won’t help you,” Ace said, scooping the last of his food into his mouth. His careless attitude made you worry that you’d fallen into a trap you set yourself.

“What do you mean, it won’t help me?” you asked, frowning.

“Sabo’ll just chase you. And he’ll find you, no matter where I take you,” Ace shrugged, literally licking his bowl clean.  

You chewed on the skin next to your nail for a moment. “Are you sure? I mean, I’m not -”

“I’m sure. He’d follow you to the South Pole if he had to. So I’ll take you out, but you won’t get far. He really likes you.” Ace replied, patting his belly.

“He doesn’t, it’s all an act. He’s just using me for - well, for this. To have me finish Project Seraphim for the Revolutionary Army. I heard him tell Dragon,” you protested. Ace stared at you, eyes softening with an unknown emotion.

“Whatever you say,” Ace said lightly, getting up and plugging the sink to begin washing the dishes. You tasted blood as you bit too hard on your already chewed thumb.

Sabo’s POV

Sabo wasn’t sure exactly what set off his internal warning signal. He and Ace had been calling back and forth every few days over the weeks, exchanging information and pleasantries. Ace had been in an elated mood, which he chalked up to becoming better friends with Sunny. Sabo noted Ace hadn’t been wearing the bandages around his chest anymore which was an interesting development. According to Ace, you worked in the morning and took a short walk with Ace before lunch. After eating, you’d work again until the evening when you and Ace would eat dinner and go stargazing or hang out in the house. You’d spoken on the snail a few times, you sounded happy and refreshed. But Ace was up to something and had dragged Sunny into it, Sabo was sure of it. The end of his trip was approaching and Sabo was eager to sail back home and see Sunny. And Ace, of course.

Narrowing his eyes, Sabo wanted to catch Ace in whatever dumbass idea he’d concocted. Sabo was between meetings and ducked into an empty storage room to call. It was nearly lunch, not his normal time to connect with Ace. With luck, Sabo would be able to detect what was going on.

Puru puru puru puru puru puru

“Hey Babo, what’s up?” Ace said, using a childhood nickname Luffy had given him.

“My ‘Ace is doing something stupid’ alarm is going off. Are you doing something stupid?” Sabo asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Almost always. But right now I’m making lunch. Potato salad,” the Ace snail said.

“And where’s Sunny? What’s she up to?” Sunny was an incredibly poor liar, even worse than Ace. With only a little pressure, Sabo would get the truth out of her.

“She’s working in your office, wanna say hi?” Ace asked, the snail throwing a kitchen towel over its shoulder.

“Inna minute. How are you guys doing? How’s she feeling?” Sabo asked, trying to keep from projecting his worries into his voice.

“Good, good. She’s working right now, like always. Sleeping enough, I make sure of it. Eats food, drinks coffee and water ,” Ace said proudly. 

“Alright, put her on.”

“Gimme a sec,” Ace said, the sounds of boots on the wood floor coming through the receiver. Ace pounded on the door three times.

“Yo, Sunny! Wanna -”

“Fuck off Portgas, I’m busy!” you yelled through the door. Sabo’s gut twisted with the ease and familiarity in your voice you used for his brother. He’d been feeling jealous for a few days now even though the jealousy made him feel guilty. He had brought you to the island partially for just this reason - to befriend his brother. And now that the two of you were friendly he was seeing green. Sabo wished you were just as comfortable with him , telling him to fuck off or spending all your meals together voluntarily. Sabo tried to rein his feelings in but it was difficult when he saw that you’d given Ace a haircut, or you were wearing Ace’s old clothes, or saw how well rested you were looking. During the calls between the three of you, it was difficult to contain himself from making snarky comments. Sabo was homesick for you and Ace, his meetings felt endless and the two of you were up to something. He could feel it in his bones.

“Nah, it’s Sabo, c’mon.” Ace urged you. Sabo heard a huff and the door open.

“Fine, but you know the penalty for disturbing me when I’m working,” you said cheerfully as the snail changed its visage to your bright smile. Sabo had never made that smile appear before, he thought.

“Ow! Owww ! That hurts! Stop pinching!” Ace whined in the background as you laughed.

“No, you get five pinches for disrupting my flow. I was moving the mol- er -” you looked at Sabo, afraid you’d almost said something.

“Moving what?” Sabo asked brightly.

“Uh, nothing! Nothing, um just moving the, um, mol- um…mole. The mole,” you finished lamely. Sabo quirked an eyebrow. 

“The mole?” he asked incredulously.

“Yeah, um the mole. It’s um, gotten into the office and um Ace and I have been trying to catch it and I um, oh lunch is ready! I have to go!” you stammered. The snail turned back to Ace, who was laughing into his palm.

“I know you’re up to something dumb and I’m gonna find out what it is. If Sunny gets in trouble because of you…” Sabo trailed off menacingly.

“Ok, love you, see you sooooon!” Ace chirped happily and hung up the snail.

The call ending quickly gave greater credence to Sabo’s theory that some Ace-derived foolishness was afoot. He sighed and leaned back against the nearest crate. He was leaving for the island in a few short days and it couldn’t come quickly enough. 

Your POV

You and Portgas D. Ace stared at the flower-turned-fruit held in the palm of your hand as you sat side by side on the beach. You’d experimented and developed it for the past few weeks almost constantly. You’d worked harder than you ever had in your life, racing to complete the project before Sabo returned in the next few days. True to his word, Ace had locked you out of Sabo’s office at 8 every night but that alone didn’t turn off your brain. For the first few weeks after your discovery, you stayed up late in the night in the darkness of your room, rearranging molecules and perfecting your craft. Ace had figured out you weren’t resting enough and started sleeping on the floor of Sabo’s room to get you to go to sleep. Eventually, you’d invited him into the bed because you were tired of seeing him toss and turn on the hard floor. You enjoyed having a warm body next to you but it wasn’t the same as Sabo’s heat and pleasant aroma.

You weren’t sure if you missed Sabo or not. Ace was fun, dynamic, engaging, and easy to talk to. He made you laugh, either intentionally or from his antics, and he had interesting insight to share. Ace was an endless talker, providing you with background noise to listen to while you walked together. He told you stories about Whitebeard, the Spade pirates, his brothers, anything he could think of. Ace enjoyed your company and would watch you work in Sabo’s office, sometimes falling asleep and snoring to your amusement. You thought you and Ace were friends and you’d miss him when you left the island.

But a little part of you missed Sabo, too. He treated you like you were worth the world, not just what you could make or produce for him. Ace claimed repeatedly that Sabo was romantically interested in you, which always made you flush. You found Sabo attractive and charming, unlike Ace who felt more like a sibling. He was smart and intelligent and enjoyed the same intellectual pursuits that you did. He had kidnapped you but through his actions you’d realized how drained you were from the Marines, subsisting on coffee and loneliness. You had been miserable, sick, and stuck, even if you didn’t see it yourself at the time.

“Hey, your hand’s shaking,” Ace noted, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah.”

“Haven’t seen that in a while,” Ace mused. You didn’t answer, too nervous about the outcome of your experiment. There was no way to test anything and make sure you’d gotten everything right. You used parts of your other research, Sabo’s hair, Ace’s saliva, and sheer willpower to craft the hideous looking fruit in front of you. It didn’t look like the Mera Mera no Mi, it looked like a sad black sea urchin covered in molten red spots. Your lips were bloody and Ace had bandaged all your fingertips after you bit them too much.

“This is a bad idea,” you said.

“Yeah,” Ace replied.

“It might not work. You might not get any power and you won’t be able to swim.”

“Yeah.”

“It might kill you.”

“Maybe.”

“Sabo will be mad.”

“Furious.”

“You gonna try it?” 

“Yeah,” Ace said, taking the fruit from your sweaty palm. You had the urge to reach out to take the fruit and fling it into the sea, to let life stay the way it was. But Ace’s brow was furrowed and his jaw set, you knew he wasn’t going to hesitate. You held your breath and covered your eyes with your hands as Ace bit into the fruit, scowling as he chewed.

“You got the taste right. Not something you forget,” he joked, trying to lighten your mood. You took a little peek and he hadn’t exploded or projectile vomited. That was a good sign.

“Did it - did it work?” you whispered. Ace ate the fruit in a few bites, one of the advantages to his eating habits, you supposed. He wiped his hands on his yukata and stood up.

“One way to find out,” he grinned, pointing his index and ring finger like the barrel of a gun.

Fire bullets shot out of his hand rapidly, making you scuttle backwards on the beach. He whooped loudly and beat his chest with his fists, screaming at the top of his lungs. Turning and running full force at you, you squealed as he picked you up under your arms and spun you around in circles. His arms were too warm, almost burning you as he laughed wildly and spun.

“Ace! Ace! Too hot!” you yelled into his ear, trying to get him to put you down.

“Ah! Sorry, kinda forgot about that,” Ace said, grinning from ear to ear. He set you down only to give you a huge kiss on your cheek. You couldn’t help but share in his happiness and laughed along with him. He looked so much younger, his face radiating pure joy as he raised his arm to continue testing his strength.

“Hiken!” he yelled, his arm outstretched. A column of flame burst forth from his fist, the raw destructive power it posed sending a shiver down your spine. He turned and winked at you, finger still made of flame. 

“And that’s why they call me Fire Fist Ace.”

Tag list: @mfreedomstuff

[sitp-recs]

top 10 drarry fics by the sheer force of the feels they gave you? not necessarily good feels! things you remember primarily because they hit hard in some way.

obviously, i'd also love to hear exactly how/why they hit hard if you're up for sharing that!

Oh that’s such a wonderful ask, thank you! I’m sorry for the late reply, the 10 fics came easily bc whenever I see those titles I get immediately transported back to where I was and what I felt reading them for the first time. But putting into words what exactly makes them heartkick-y for me was a bit more challengeging. It’s usually a “when you feel it you know it” kind of thing (and quite literally too, as sometimes it manifests as an actual physical reaction!) but more often than not the fic just clicks for me and there’s no rationale behind it. As Clarice Lispector said: “I suppose that understanding myself is not a question of intelligence but of feeling. It either touches you, or it doesn't."

Anyhoo, I tried my best to keep this short and sweet but since I’ve written individual recs for almost all these fics, I thought I’d include them too :) thanks again, this was super fun! And I’d love to read about your picks as well 👀

An Emerald In The Sky by corvuscrowned | my rec

it doesn’t get more romantic than star-crossed lovers doomed by time travel!!!! (see also: my thoughts on The Eighth Tale by lettered). this is my brand of melancholy, something about the constant yearning, the beauty of stolen moments in liminal space, the unfairness of it all… ugh

Far From the Tree by aideomai | my rec

fft has altered my brain chemistry and ruined me forever with its tender devastation, I had such a visceral reaction to it - to the point of feeling dizzy and feverish. a simple time travel concept (this is my kryptonite istg) but the epic storytelling! the gratification! the bittersweet ending! rereading it would kill me but what a way to go

Forgive Those Who Trespass by Lomonaaeren

easily one of the most haunting and terrifying fics I’ve ever read, one jumpscare after the other but so creative and well-written I was too busy collecting my jaw from the floor to talk myself out of it lol

Little Compton Street by writcraft | my rec

as a queer woman, this one feels extremely personal and is very dear to my heart. I’ll never forget the emotions I felt learning about queer history and finding a sense of peace and belonging. lcs feels like coming home 🏳️‍🌈

Little Red Courgette by blamebrampton

this was my first bb fic and their sense of humor just blew my mind. I was so impressed by the smooth world building, by their wit and clever political commentary. I just couldn’t stop laughing. the dialogue is so good it makes me wanna weep, I can’t explain how much joy and comfort this fic gave me

Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways by lordhellebore

full disclosure: my reading experience was shaped by the fact that I didn’t realize the tagged disability would be major and permanent 🤡 by the time I noticed I was so emotionally invested I couldn’t stop. one of the most painful reads I’ve ever endured, worth it tho

Running on Air by eleventy7 | my rec

introspective fics are my jam and this one was just what I needed while working through some shit at a turning point in my life. so I guess it was more about finding the right fic at the right time, and I’m hit by mixed feelings of catharsis and nostalgia every time I revisit roa.

Still Life (orphaned) | my rec

my definition of a perfect shortfic. gorgeous prose, flawless execution, the “nothing is happening but everything is changing” vibes I live for, one of the best Harry pov I’ve ever read and an ending that always makes me gasp in awe. few authors can write complex emotions so effortlessly as seefin, absolute masterclass

Super Rich Kids by trishjames | my rec

criminally underrated, this story broke my heart but also gave me such a THRILL. I usually avoid substance abuse in fic but something about Draco’s spiral journey felt so raw it kept me at the edge of my seat. devastating but also a surprisingly funny and exciting thriller. the range!!!

The Long Fall by tackytiger | my rec

as someone who’s never been into kid fic and family dynamics, this was a punch on the solar plexus and rearranged my whole view about this trope. I was deeply moved by Harry’s longing for a family of his own and despite not having or wanting kids, this still felt really cathartic and changed me in a way I can’t quite explain.

[nixthelapin]

Emotion (s5) doesn’t really make a lot of sense to me writing-wise. I think Felix’s plan and execution was weird, but… damn it was FUN. It makes so sense, but if I wasn’t vibing with it the whole episode.

Kagami accidentally insulting Lila (“you’re just a stone”)? Vibing.

A bizarre wealthy-person masquerade as a social commentary? Vibing.

Amelie yelling at Gabriel? Vibing.

“Adrien” and Kagami’s banter before their dance? Vibing.

Marinette dancing with “Adrien,” then immediately getting hostile when she learns he’s Felix? Vibing.

Felix having a Disney-villain style musical number in the streets as he Thanos-snaps everyone? Vibing.

Adrien blowing up at Felix? Vibing. (he’s earned that so bad)

Felix having a mental breakdown on a roof? Vibing.

Plot-wise, I have a few issues, but I can honestly say I am so happy to ignore them because I just had a BLAST watching it. Top-tier episode. 10/10. 5 stars.

———

In summary:

[e-november]

Hypervigilance is a common symptom of many mental health disorders and social conditions. It is a physiological response of constant alertness to the threats around you and from yourself. I've had a hard time coping with this symptom in general, as it would warp all my relationships, all my perceptions of myself, others and the world. On top of all of this, I felt it was providing me safety from the actual threats I've experienced and feared experiencing; I couldn't be further from the truth. Here are a few ways you can experience hypervigilance:

You might have phobic reflexes. Every unexpected or unpredictable sensory information is perceived as a threat (a sigh, loud walking, cars or people behind you, quick movements from others, etc.). You may jump, or be extremely started and irritable. Other times, you may have extreme emotional reactions or intense dissociation. Phobic reflexes are generally responses to sensory triggers.

Your body may rarely feel relaxed. A lot of stiffness, pain and discomfort can come from keeping your body at a high stress level. At long-term, you may end up developing chronic illnesses as your body is overwhelmed with the constant arousal of fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses.

You struggle doing any task that requires your full attention or a lack of alertness to your surroundings (paperwork, sleeping, reading, etc.). Your ability to function cognitively may be affected by hypervigilance as a whole, which means you'll experience cognitive rigidity, processing disinhibition and other executive dysfunctions. (Note: these are generally partially reversible when recovering from PTSD, GAD, OCD or other disorders with hypervigilant patterns or when you are no longer in a social context which requires this level of conscience of your surroundings).

You may overanalyze what people say or what you think in order to avoid any threat. The latter is particularly common in people with OCD or with trauma around philosophical concepts. You may perceive yourself as one step away from losing control, and may expect others to lose control as well. Generally, the feeling of loss of control resides in hypervigilance itself than actually acting against your values.

You may use escapism a lot, and develop addictions, behavioral or not. This reduces the sense of being constantly threatened temporarily, but increases the hypervigilance on the long-term and worsens the issue. These are a few of the signs you experience hypervigilance as a core coping mechanism ruling your reactions to your current social context as well as the disorders you might deal with. Trauma is the common denominator of this mechanism, although PTSD and C-PTSD isn't implied by default. Since hypervigilance is your body being in constant alertness, in order to reduce it, you must reduce the physiological stress then work on the mental components of hypervigilance at the same time. I will update this blog later with a few ways you could reduce hypervigilance.

[sleepyvib-es]

do you have like a turning point beyond which rick's writing became unsalvageable to you? and if you do, what do you think should have happened instead of what happened canonically

hii! <3 this is such a good question omg, ty for sending it!

i had to really sit and think about this one. i don't think that i could really pinpoint one moment where i felt like "yeah this is it im done" because to me, there are a lot of those throughout the riordanverse lmao

but if i really had to pick one? at the risk of sounding basic, i would say blood of olympus. rick's treatment of his main characters and how he handled their arcs all throughout hoo but especially in boo just didn't work for me. i also strongly dislike how some established themes in pjo and the final conclusion to the og series feel so insignificant now.

before i go further though i will say that there are some things i enjoyed in boo, mainly having to do with nico's and reyna's povs. i don't like that 4 out of the 7 main cast were sidelined in the last book of the series (i think rick's excuse for sidelining annabeth and percy was total bs but i'm equally as angry that frank and hazel both received supporting cast member treatment) but i did enjoy their povs and think that rick's writing was strongest writing these two (until the last few pages of nico's chapter).

i genuinely despise how the narrative started blaming percy for things that were out of his control and how rick turned him into a fumbling incompetent idiot, something that has only gotten worse in his newer books (the way he wrote him in tsast, cotg, and wottg has been discussed in great lengths so i won't dive into it here but i'll link some posts if you're curious).

gonna apologize now for my long rant:

i didn't like the final speech he gave to the greek demigods before fighting, especially when you compare it to the speech he gave in TLO. like the difference between the two is just so... disrespectful lmao that is not my percy. and this was supposed to be the last we saw of percy bc rick said he was done writing for this universe when the book came out. like.. no. this is one of those moments that just shows how heavily he started to lean on the fanon interpretation of percy. a literal decade has passed and the fandom is still struggling with this interpretation of his character. i hate it.

i didn't like the "not my type" joke like imo you had to have written both nico and percy in an ooc way just to land that joke. the way rick wrapped up these two and their ~complicated~ relationship (that is only complicated because rick retconned nico's character and redid his arc from pjo, which would explain some inconsistencies like why he was looking to bring bianca back by using the doors of death when he had a mini arc of acceptance that bianca must stay where she is. which, yk, was the whole emotional conclusion to daedalus and his arc. nico will always grieve his dead sister ofc but he had said goodbye to her in pjo already.) it's one of my least favorite things about hoo.

and listen, out of all the things that i could choose to rewrite, this one scene isn't actually on the top of my list considering all of rick's writing offenses. but i just wish that relationship between both these characters and the conclusion to their arcs had been resolved in a much more meaningful way.

Edit: i think this is an excellent breakdown and analysis of one of my least favorite things regarding nico's writing in hoo. op offers suggestions on how the writing could have been improved and i wholeheartedly agree with everything. it's worth the read!

i think he had a lot of interesting concepts and he introduced a lovely cast of new characters that i love to this day but failed to execute his ideas in a way that would have made better sense narratively. there is a lot i wish had been done differently.

also, im aware that it's not only percy's characterization that has suffered. i'm very critical of the way he's been writing annabeth's character as the girlbossified, hyper-competent mom friend. the flanderization of both percy and annabeth's characters is just Not It for me. but there's also:

the way he fumbled leo's arc in hoo (leo's journey of self love and acceptance is something that can be so personal. i forever mourn the potential that could have been leo realizing that he fucking mattered to his friends. platonic friendships matter.)

sidelining hazel and frank (his mars transformation as part of his character development? terrible, awful implications)

questions left unanswered about frank and hazel's characters and their curse and how that was answered in toa, a series where they were not the main characters.

jason. where do i even begin with jason. i liked his arc in hoo and i like the tragedy of jason's character but i'm not a fan of how he was killed outside of his own series. this was poor writing to me.

i also really wish rick had committed to writing a seperate roman series before writing hoo so that new rome/camp jupiter and its cast were properly fleshed out. perhaps the quality of his writing in hoo would have been better if he had already established jason and reyna as characters instead of starting from scratch with 5 new main characters + reyna + octavian (wouldn't have been such a letdown of a villain)

the way he wrote nico and will in tsats. and also all the inconsistencies, the typos, the retcons, the way the plot literally doesn't make sense (why couldn't hades just let bob out? why is making his son relieve his experience in superhell with his bf seen as such a great parenting moment?). it made tartarus seem like Not A Big Deal. the cocomelons.

i love piper but god is it hard to ignore rick's unhidden biases about the way he feels about women. i also think she deserved better. i love that she has a girlfriend but i wish shel was a fleshed out character. and again i just wish we had all this from piper's pov.

the way he handled reyna's character after hoo. other people have discussed this in a much better way that i can on this post but his aroace rep and lesbophobia is very disappointing.

the way he retconned and handled calypso's character. i have never shipped caleo so i dont care if they break up. if it was up to me leo would have been single and gay never been on that island and they would have never gotten together. however, the way he wrote them in toa does not make me feel better about either of their character arcs. there are so many interesting things he could have done with calypso's character post pjo (where she was actually meaningful to the plot and themes of the series) and he took the "snarky love interest" route. it's boring. i also know she's not anyone's favorite but rick has done a huge disservice to her character that's kinda ... not really discussed b/c of how much people dislike her.

the cupid scene

i think that he attempted to rectify a lot of these issues in toa. but even where i find positive things to say about toa, there are still some things that i'm just not really happy about. this isn't me criticising the series, feel free to enjoy it if you do! i have moots that love it. the few complaints i have boil down to rick choosing to resolve character arcs outside of the series where they were the main characters. it just makes the writing in hoo look even worse.

back to why boo was the turning point for me: i remember being so angry that i couldn't bring myself to read the book much less finish it. i'm someone who doesn't like to drop things halfway once i've started (including shows and movies. like i literally force myself to finish a series even when i feel the writing quality has gone down. i have watched every ep of grey's anatomy up to it's current season and yes i know what that says about me lmao.)

sometimes i like media that is mid or trashy and im okay with that! but when it's to the point where i don't even want to finish it? that's how you know you lost me.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Quick Draw Tatas + Make Sorn Suffer Agenda

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

June 2025 Week 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Knock Out (Fri WeTV ) ep 5 of 12 - pronoun negotiation, how much do I love thee/thou/you? So much! My/me/mine favorite. P’Yai!!! that you? Why sleeves? Still, great casting choice for a boxer! We are dealing with yet another financial crisis but this is still the boyfriend era and these are def 20 year old gay boys. I adore them (all 3x) and this show. Still great.

Next week, P'Yai has no sleeves AND no shirt! As the BL gods intended.

We stan a man who says what all Tumblr is thinking.

My Stubborn (Sun iQIYI) ep 7 of 10 - Sorn is ridiculous and we just want him to shatter hard at this point. I think he must completely lose Jun before he'll come to his senses. I’m looking forward to the big suffer next ep. I’m hoping there is adequate pain and that they are separated for a while. Emotional torture is required.

On a different note, you should be getting those allergens off him in the shower not deep-dking him on a sink, much as we appreciate the sentiment. Speaking of dking-out, you better learn to eat your veg baby boy if you wanna keep bottoming that hard. Fiber is v important.

(What? This an educational blog srs.)

Reset (Mon iQIYI) ep 2 of 10 - This show is GREAT! But it better not hinge on one of those “why don’t they just talk to each other” plot devices. I will blame it entirely for such a tragic flaw. Meanwhile, I like everybody here, adore the Assistant. Nice to hear Thai spoken badly in such a very American way.

That said, I thought we discussed this already. Thai BL is not allowed wigs. We settled that in the 2019 UWMA Wardrobe Accords. 

The Bangkok Boy (Sat Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Uh oh. Well, we all knew these two were gonna be great together once they got together but also not allowed to be together. I can’t see that this is gonna end well for anybody. But my goodness did they serve us some chemistry. Might be one of the best sex scenes in BL. Like. Ever. So I guess we gotta appreciate what we get?

Pit Babe 2 (Fri iQIYI) ep 7 of 13 - AKA The Fast and the Furious Bangkok Drift. The story of my life and BL right now is the fact that there’s not enough time spent with any of the side couples. But honestly that’s kind of my story with BL as a genre. Shall we get onto the mini trash watch that seems to be my relationship with this show right now? Ready, here it is:

Tumblr is officially engaged in tata watch 2025, participation mandatory. Erm, mammotory?

*insert bah-dum-cha here*

My Sweetheart Jom (Fri YT) ep 5 of 12 - ooo some action with a nonviolent social media shaming solution. Nice. Good thing he had cell reception out there. I’m still not getting a ton of chemistry from our main pair, but they are acting a bit more like boyfriends now, which I kind of like. So maybe they were always shooting for a slow burn, it’s just not Thailand’s forte? Neither is plot, but I’m finding this one more enjoyable when there is plot. So who knows what’s going on here.

The Next Prince (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 14 - death stairs 2.0. Same stairs just wider. Why doesnt Calvin have a bodyguard? Why did the others all forget about him and leave him at the bar? Why am I activating my brain to try to understand this show? Stop it brain.

Nice to see our prince with some agency and acting the part. I also love the language status change that meant capitulation. Spoiled prince (literal) meets doting protector type dynamic is actually nice, and the sex scene was as prettily executed as one expects from their pair, but there wasn't enough of the other couples.

Boys in Love (Sun iQIYI ) ep 6 of 12 - it's cute but where is it going? Puppy eyes plus an arse slap? The teachers are my favorites, contest has ended.

I Promise I Will Come Back (Mon WeTV) ep 4 of 10 - The problem with a high heat fantasy sequence for the second lead, is now we all know how good those two actors could be together. Dangerous territory little show. And Best is a really great actor, and I hope we get more of him as the lead in a BL.

Eye Contact (Weds WeTV) ep 5 of 6 - oh its so bad. It went totally off the rails. Main plot reminds me if like The En of Love series or Future only way more toxic. The sides are all early yaoi rapey. (Chain better go to the cops! Nu better dump Sun because of his TOXIC friends. And the GL, well i guess it's kinda there? And the high school is this whole other disconnected arc. What in all BL hells is going on?  Must keep watching. Why am i like this? I'm spiraling here.

What I will say is, I unequivocally do not recommend this show. Please nobody else join me in this particular dumpster.

How the mighty have fallen. Can you believe this was once top of the standings?

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Sweetheart Service (Korea Fri YT) ep 6 of 12 - I love the confrontation with the parents so much. Minwoo is such a tiny adorable badass. This so is so cute, it's do cute, it's so cute! 

Ball Boy Tactics (Korea Thurs iQIYI) ep 2 of 8 - oh it's SO GOOD. He is so baby. Beyond baby. Poor thing. Why is jock boy torture teasing baby while dating someone else?

The actor playing Eunoh looks like Great’s Korean cousin and you can't convince me otherwise. 

Moon and Dust (China YT) ep 4 of 6 - Diary reading and everything! This show is beyond suss and nesting in evil. Fun fun! A true BL horror show. My kind of horror. Even language play, you understood that one, right? Younger bro wants to be called "older bro" for very explicit REASONS? okay? Okay. Moving on. 

The Sparkle In Your Eye (Singapore Sun Gaga & Viki) eps 7-8 of ? - I did warn you that since this was Singapore but they were doing it in Mandarin it was probably gonna go dark. And they have rolled out the cancer card. * this is my shocked face (it looks the same as my regular face*

It's airing but......

I Became the Lead in a BL Drama 2 AKA Zoku BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita (Japan ????) 6 eps - Another 2nd season I did not want started 6/13. This time the story tells what challenges they face as a relationship. Also the story of the managers. While I am intreagued by the second couple, I can't be arsed to track this down.

The Proper Way to Write Love (Japan) from Tokyo MX was suposed to start on 6/13, and... that's all I got.

The Ex-Morning (Thurs YT) 10 eps - sorry all I dropped this half way through ep 3. I just felt like it was pulling teeth to keep going and I was just angry at it, at GMMTV, at the script, at the characters. That's not healthy for any of us. I do this for fun. If it's really amazing in the second half I might give it a try, but for now, I'm out.

Loy Kaew First Love (Fri YT) 6 eps - Dropped at ep 4. Just too much other stuff too poorly acted, edited, scripted, just everything bad.

Season of Love in Shimane AKA Ai no Kisetsu: The Season of Love (Thai) 8 eps - Sequel to Kiseki Chapter 2 which I intensely disliked. I won't watch this.

Mission to the Moon (YT) 12 eps- Watching but I can't keep track. Too short, too many, too YT. I will report at end.

In case you missed it, 'cause I did

Stealing My Brother‘s Fiancé AKA Bound To My Brother’s Fiancé

Aired as a short form vertical at the end of last year, and it popped up cut together on YT.

It is profoundly not good but it is an unusual BL. It’s exactly like one of those Chinese het verticals, just gay and in Thai. So exactly I’m surprised they got around to switching some of the dialogue to the correct gender. Frankly, I think they only even bothered with that because Thai pronouns are that flexible.

For plot, it says what it is on the tin. There’s arranged marriages, fiancé swapping, and too much plot to handle revolving entirely around a handful of pretty bitchy boys. Battle of the power bottoms.

Anygay, it reminded me of that 2017 censored mumbo-jumbo from China Mr. CEO is Falling in Love with Me. Only not censored and in Thai. What a profoundly odd experience. Recommended only if you want to try something completely different from normal BL. 5/10 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming Up

6/16 Revenged Love (China Gaga) 16? eps - A remake of 2015's Falling in Love with a Rival. From China ON GAGA? Wild. What alt-reality IS THIS? I have had them for 3 seconds but I'm already obsessed with the side couple.

6/17 SunTiny (Thai iQIYI) 10 eps - MaxNat are back as SunNuea from their Y-Destiny showing. The spoiled prince with the hot tutor (in case you forgot). They in an LTR and then... bodyswap. I know I know, I'm confused about all of this too. But Cooheart is looking FINNNEEEE so what the hell.

6/20 Memoir of Rati (Thai Netflix or YT) 12 eps - GreatInn in a HISTORICAL with a class divide and everyone's favourite side couple, AouBoom. Initially I was v excited but now 2 things: Netflix (I do not chill) and sad ending. I might save this to binge. I am getting serious I Feel You Linger in the Air vibes. And I can't go through that again right now.

6/20 Depth of Field (Japan Fuji TV)

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Illegally cute. (Sweetheart Service)

Knockout. I mean Bangkok Boy gave us the best sex scene this week (one of the best in years IMHO) but they had stiff competition.

(Pun intend... oh do I even have to say it at this juncture?)

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[starlightwayfinder]

You know, your post saying Ven can’t wrap his head around why people would use the darkness is getting me thinking again about its nature and place in the setting. I hope it doesn’t end up being as evil as the narrative makes it out to be.

This is a super interesting ask, and I think to answer it honestly—I have to disagree a little, but I also do agree? Let me explain my thoughts.

Personally, I do think the narrative works best when “light” and “darkness” are literally interpreted as good and evil, creation and destruction, love and hatred, etc. The thing is, KH is clever and has made a point to specify that *true* light and darkness are a little different from what people might initially assume to be good and evil. 

Of all the games, KHDR looks most deeply into what actually defines darkness. The best example off the top of my head is when they’re comparing the residents of Wonderland. Even though they all seem to harbor a negative emotion of ‘fear’, only the Queen manifests it as darkness in her heart. The difference being that she harms and executes others to maintain her power. We see how she is consumed by ire and lashes out at everyone. Xehanort argues that maybe her darkness is necessary to maintain order… but it’s not a good kind of order to make people live in fear, is it?

Conversely, what defines light? Some ‘light’ sided characters like Eraqus go around seeking to obliterate the darkness out of a hatred for it. (He justifies this by mentally separating darkness from people, but khdr confirmed that hearts and darkness are basically entangled in the modern era.) This sort of behavior doesn’t align with ‘true’ light though, as harming others is still what defines darkness. Of course, there are situations where fighting is required to protect people from harm—but even then, it’s not ideal to have to hurt anyone. When people have been hurt, it can be accepted and transformed into light / something ‘good’, or it can continue to manifest as darkness and become something cyclical that hurts others too.

The best understanding of light in KH is found in actions that stem from a desire to help and heal others. Take Kairi helping Sora come back from being a Heartless, for example. Even though he had fallen to darkness, she revived him with the power of her faith and love. Sora himself says that ‘deep down there’s a light that never goes out’ in every heart, and that ‘Kingdom Hearts is light’. This makes logical sense to me, if life and light are the same, you can’t be alive without light. And if that light never really goes out, neither does a person’s life. Hence why the heart is ‘never really gone’.

A lot of what KH asks comes down to—“what is a perfect world?” In the lore and fairytales of the series, light was a freely given gift from Kingdom Hearts—presumably in the form of hearts. What gave way to darkness was people attempting to selfishly claim that light for themselves and take it from others. This turns the world from order to chaos, and Kingdom Hearts disappears. Until it can truly return, there will still be darkness and suffering in the now-divided worlds. Coexistence and peace would be the ideal world order, but the conflict between light and darkness prevents it. Note that the real conflict between light and darkness is “darkness tries to possess light”, not “they both try to destroy each other”. I don’t think that true light, the kind that has ‘more than meets the eye’, is out to destroy darkness so much as to return it to light.

We don’t know everything about the True Darknesses yet, but Khux implies that they cast away their forms to conquer light, only to realize that their will would be lost without  bodies. This is why they seek to ‘infect’ people’s hearts and stay alive through expansion, claiming more worlds and lights along the way. The Master of Masters claims they are entirely different from people, and yet we see Vanitas gain a heart—which by my logic before, wouldn’t even be alive without possessing at least some light, right? 

So to answer your question, I do think darkness is “evil”, but only in the sense of being an absence or willful rejection of goodness / light. I think there’s a real chance the KH ending will be one of reconciliation and restoration. It would be pretty wonderful to see all of the true darknesses get their own forms and hearts again, especially if that puts an end to the conflict once and for all. Darkness isn’t completely bad to the extent of being irredeemable, but it is completely bad in that—on its own—it only causes an endless cycle of cruelty and pain to be inflicted on people. Just like you can’t fight fire with fire, you can’t fight darkness with darkness; light is the key necessary to make things right again. 

So to explain my headcanon about Ven, we have to get into his mind as a pure-hearted person. He’s selfless and aims to share light rather than possess it for himself (or fight over it with others.) That’s how the ideal world is supposed to work, and it benefits everyone. So he doesn’t see the logic in hurting others to benefit only yourself. That will just make people hate you, right? Where’s the harmony in that?  He values friendship above all else, so that’s why he can’t wrap his mind around people valuing other things (power) more and justifying harming others to gain them. That’s why ‘his friends are his power’. Because if you have the light of friendship, you don’t need to take power from others or use the power of darkness to feel fulfilled.

Thanks for the ask!! I hope this explanation makes sense 😅

[siderealscribblings]

I do not think I'm going to be able to make the anniversary update of Games of Divinity since it's really long/intricate/I don't want to rush it but here's Furina discovering RPF Imagine Fics for the soul.

________________________________________________________

99 years, 10 Months, 21 Days

Neuvillette could tell Furina's mood by her footsteps long before he could sense her emotions and the short, staccato of her heels on marble outside his door heralded the coming of a storm. Sure enough-

Bang!

Furina all but kicked down his door, slammed it behind her, and stood in front of it fuming for a moment.

"...yes?" Neuvillette asked, glancing over the top of his legal brief as he waited for Furina to calm down enough to give voice to her simmering rage.

"I would like to propose new legislation," Furina said, hand clenched around a flimsy paper booklet. "Regarding the production and dissemination of...of...pornography in this country!"

"...pornography," Neuvillette echoed flatly, watching Furina pace back and forth in front of his death. "And what sort of...pornography would you be referring to?"

"Only the sort that could morally bankrupt our country lead impressionable young ladies down the path of lurid vice!" Furina insisted, clutching the booklet in her fist. "I-I have discovered a brochure detailing all manner of inappropriate fantasies about notable public figures; figures of great power and dignity that should not be reduced to mere...titillation!"

Furina's face was crimson, but it seemed that anger wasn't the only cause. "May I see?"

"No!" Furina snapped, yanking the booklet away from him. "N-No, you just have to trust me; don't you trust me, Neuvillette-"

"You have used that particular trick on me too many times; I'm not falling for it again," Neuvillette sighed. "Has the...subject of these fantasies raised a complaint?"

"Well...no, but-"

"Is this something being mass-marketed and sold against the subject's will?"

"Not that I'm aware of, but-"

"Is there anything particularly slanderous or obscene about the text?"

"I don't know; you're the legal expert you tell me!"

"Then let me see it."

"No!" Furina hissed. "You must take my word for it that i-it is most...out of character."

"Out of character?" Neuvillette huffed. "Say no more; I will erect a guillotine in the city square at once."

Furina's eyes narrowed. "I should never have taught you to be sarcastic."

"Well, the villainy you teach, I execute," Neuvillette said. "It's about me, isn't it?"

Furina's wide-eyes told a story her stammering mouth tried to deny. "Y-You?! Ha...how silly. I-I'm sure you have your fair share of admirers like those...wretched women in the Iudex Enthusiasts Guild, but-"

"But coming down on a group of bored hobby writers is bad for publicity," Neuvillette said, rubbing his eyes. "You are already catching flak for that 'no pets shall be named after Lady Furina' edict you passed last month."

"Excuse me if I don't want to share a name with a pot-bellied pig!" Furina hissed. "Are you suggesting that you're fine with people writing all the intricate ways they want you to-"

Furina opened the book. "Softly nibble the corner of their neck whilst grinding against their-oh I can't read anymore!"

"So long as it isn't rubbed in my face, I think it's tolerable," Neuvillette shrugged. "Loathe as I am to paraphrase Rex Lapis, being famous means being the subject of gossip...some of it lurid, of course."

"Why did I even appoint you Iudex if you won't Iudex when I want to!" Furina huffed, throwing her hands up. "Fine! But when the population of this country plummets because people are too busy fondling themselves, don't come crying to me!"

"I promise I won't," Neuvillette said, watching Furina storm off and slam the door behind her.

___________________________________________________________

"Imagine Iudex Neuvillette peeling the robes off his broad shoulders, his eyes taking in your form as you spread out on the bed as he says "Now I will show you what happens to impudent young ladies who misbehave in my court"...ugh, he would not say that..." Furina muttered, glaring at the pages of the pamphlet as she sat tucked up against the headboard of her bed. And yet, despite her muttered criticisms, she had pored over all three pamphlets she had found tucked in the seats of the Opera.

For research, naturally.

[shizuturnspages]

can u pls write sum separate non-poly hcs for my beloved inazuma boys itto & gorou? im begging for any crumbs atp orz

thank u :3

I'd love to!!! I'm so glad to know that there are people who actually adore Itto and Gorou (*^^*)

Arataki Itto

❥ Itto is the kind of guy who shows his love with loud, enthusiastic gestures. He’ll pick you up, spin you around, and shout to everyone that you’re his partner. PDA? Oh, he’s not shy about it at all. He’ll wrap an arm around your shoulders, hold your hand everywhere, and make sure everyone knows you’re with the leader of the Arataki Gang. He’s got a heart of gold, and he wears it on his sleeve!

❥ Itto’s a competitive guy, and that doesn’t stop with his love life. He’ll turn everything into a fun little contest—who can run faster, who can eat more, or even who can out-laugh the other. It’s never mean-spirited, though; it’s his way of bonding with you. He’ll always let you win, but he’ll act like he’s totally bummed about it for a few seconds before grinning and ruffling your hair.

❥ Itto doesn’t come off as overly serious, but if someone tries to mess with you? Oh, he’s not having any of that. He’ll puff out his chest, stand tall, and let the whole world know that you are with the Arataki Itto, and no one messes with his people. But don’t expect him to be scary about it; he’ll probably make a big, goofy show of it to make you laugh. Still, everyone knows he’s serious when it counts.

❥ Once Itto falls in love, he’s in it for the long haul. He’s fiercely loyal, always putting you first, and would never let anything come between you. If he promises something, he’ll move mountains to make it happen. Whether it’s showing up with flowers (even if they’re a bit wilted) or surprising you with a huge festival-worthy feast, he’s all about making you happy. His loyalty is unwavering, and he’ll always be by your side.

❥ Itto’s heart is as big as his personality, but his execution? Maybe not so smooth. He’ll try to do something romantic like setting up a picnic, but it’ll probably end up being a bit of a mess—food everywhere, blankets tangled, him tripping over something. But that’s part of his charm! You can’t help but laugh and love him for his big-hearted attempts, and in the end, those clumsy moments turn into the best memories.

❥ With Itto, there’s no room for holding back or pretending to be someone you’re not. He loves you for who you are, flaws and all, and he’ll encourage you to embrace everything about yourself. He’s the kind of guy who cheers the loudest when you achieve something and lifts you up when you’re feeling down. Being with him means never feeling judged—he’s all about lifting you up and making sure you know just how amazing you are.

Gorou

❥ Gorou’s loyalty runs deep. Once you’ve earned his heart, he’s completely committed to you. He’s the type of guy who’d stand by you no matter what, through thick and thin. His sense of duty extends to you, and he’ll do anything to make sure you’re safe, happy, and cared for. He’s got this unwavering dedication, and you’ll always know you’re his top priority.

❥ Gorou’s protective instincts are strong, but he’s never overbearing about it. He respects your independence and trusts you to handle things on your own, but the second he senses danger? He’s there, ready to defend you with everything he’s got. His protection comes from a place of deep care, not control. And when you’re feeling down or vulnerable, his gentle, reassuring presence is always there to comfort you.

❥ Gorou’s love language is all about doing things for you. Whether it’s helping you with something, offering advice, or even just being there to lend an ear, he’s always finding ways to show he cares through his actions. He’s practical, attentive, and thoughtful, always looking out for your needs before his own. He’ll go out of his way to make sure you’re comfortable, even if it means sacrificing his own comfort.

❥ Gorou is a rock when it comes to emotional support. He’s a great listener and will always take the time to understand what you’re going through. If you’re stressed, upset, or overwhelmed, he’s there to calm you down and offer gentle guidance. He’s seen tough times himself, so he knows how to help you through your struggles without making it feel like he’s fixing things for you—he’s your partner, not your rescuer.

❥ Despite his serious role as a general, Gorou knows how to have fun, especially when it’s just the two of you. He loves spending quiet moments together, going for walks, or even playing with his tail when he’s feeling relaxed (and embarrassed if you catch him!). You’ll often catch him in lighthearted moments, and his playful side really shines when he’s comfortable. It’s those moments that show how much he trusts and loves being around you.

❥ Gorou is super respectful when it comes to your personal boundaries and space. He knows when to give you room to breathe and never pushes you into anything you’re not comfortable with. He’s the kind of partner who understands the importance of balance, and he’ll always make sure you have time for yourself without ever making you feel guilty for it. It’s his way of showing how much he values you as an individual.

[frostfires-blog]

Hi, Bleach fan! Just saw your IchiRuki post and I love it! You can't imagine how excited I am to found IchiRuki shipper in 2024!

So, what do you think are Ichigo and Rukia's greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? What are your favorite (canon) IchiRuki moments? What are your favorite headcanons of them?

Do you have any fav ships (from any fandom) that the dyanamic remind you of IchiRuki?

Thanks if you want to answer

Hi, sorry for the wait! I'm just as excited to see another IchiRuki shipper! I swear ever since TYBW came out, we've been heavily persecuted... So it's nice to be asked about IchiRuki in a positive context rather than a negative one. Just an obligatory disclaimer before I start: Although I have been spoilt for the series ending, I have not officially read the manga. I know that rival shippers are going to use this against me... But I needed to clarify that in case I slightly misremember something. However, I doubt I will since I won't really be speaking about anything beyond where the anime left off.

[My answers are under the cut because I rambled too much again sorry ❀]

-> Ichigo & Rukia's greatest strengths: ⦁ Their strong natural chemistry: They just have a genuine and instantaneous emotional connection that elicits a sense of familiarity and warmth. ⦁ Conversely, they fit into both the "birds of a feather" and "opposites attract" tropes. This implies that, despite their differences, they share a few commonalities—which is what accounts for their strong connection. ⦁ They have both positively impacted one another, consistently uplifting and motivating one another and bringing each other back from their lowest points. Most notably, Rukia is a source of strength, motivation, and light for Ichigo. In the same way that Ichigo is a driving force in Rukia's life, serving as a source of courage and resolve. ⦁ As a result of their similar experiences and struggles—especially with self-doubt and loss—they possess a unique understanding of one another that no one else possesses. Consequently, they are able to instinctively support one another in overcoming these challenges and progress towards bettering themselves.

-> Ichigo & Rukia's greatest weaknesses: ⦁ The significant disparity in their lives, circumstances, and careers could stand in the way of their relationship—though with some concessions, this is not immutable. ⦁ They elicit each other's stubbornness and strong willedness, which often results in bickering. While I find this endearing, I know this is a source of contention for many fans. ⦁ Towards the end of the series—in particular during the TYBW arc—they don't get as much screentime together.

-> What I love about their dynamic: ⦁ Simply speaking, they are a perfect amalgamation of my favourite tropes and symbolism. ⦁ Their perfectly counterbalanced designs and symbolism seamlessly integrate into their respective roles in the series, not only enhancing their dynamic but also conveying the notion of being fated or destined soulmates. ⦁ Their mutually important roles in the series, along with their profound trust and respect for one another, foster a sense of equality and balance seldomly seen in shounen F/M pairings. ⦁ Throughout the series, their most significant moments are consistently paralleled and inverted. This not only enables both of them to mutually support and uplift one another but also further reinforces their dynamic as a cornerstone of the series.

-> My favourite canon IchiRuki moments: There are honestly so many, as I love all of the interactions, but if I had to limit myself to a top four, then it would be as follows:

4) When Rukia transfers her powers to Ichigo for the first time (Episode 1) - This has to be one of the most iconic IchiRuki scenes considering this is the moment where it all began.

3) Ichigo saves Rukia from her execution - Another obvious choice. What makes this moment appealing to me is that Ichigo enables Rukia to finally be upfront about her feelings and reinvigorates her desire to exist. This allows this scene to transcend the typical hero saves the girl premise.

2) Rukia and Ichigo reuniting during the Fullbring arc - This scene brought me to tears with its masterful parallels of both of the previous entries on my list here by having Rukia show up to support and guide Ichigo once more. I adore the manner in which Rukia can uplift him and encourage him with only a few words and her presence.

1) Ichigo thanking and saying farewell to Rukia after losing his powers - Some might find it ironic that this scene tops my list, but my reasoning goes beyond my fondness for angst. In my opinion, this scene—as well as its aftermath—cements how deeply Ichigo and Rukia care for one another. In the anime, the compelling voice acting as well as the soft colours and fluid animation deepen my love for this scene. Conversely, the manga's fluid panelling and delicate expressions are remiscent of that in shoujo manga.

P.S. I would've highlighted some scenes from the 3rd Bleach Movie: Fade To Black—but since its still debated whether the movies are canonical, I opted not to.

-> My favourite IchiRuki headcanons:

I'm more of a trope, motif, and symbolism analysis person—so I've never really given any thought to headcanons... To be honest, I don't think I fully know what counts as a headcanon. I love seeing people use Sun×Moon, Day×Night, Ying×Yang, and Fire×Ice symbolism for IchiRuki. Also, this is much less common, but I also like seeing fan artists use Forget-Me-Not flowers for IchiRuki—that's totally their flower. I don't know if those count as headcanons...So I'd love for you guys to share your favourite headcanons in the comments...

-> Ships that remind me about IchiRuki:

To be honest, this is a tricky question to answer... Everyone is drawn to ships for different reasons... Every ship is different, and every series is different... So it goes without saying that just because you ship a pairing in one series doesn't mean you'll ship a similar ship in another show. People always get offended when someone always gets offended when comparisons are drawn between ships—especially those from different series. Having said that, I tried my best; so, please don't criticise me too harshly I'd love to hear about any other ships that remind you guys of IchiRuki since I'm sure I might have missed a couple of good options...

1) ChiKawa / Chika Kudo × Satowa Hozuki (Kono Oto Tomare!) — > Similar personalities/dynamics: ⦁ Just like Ichigo, Chika is a devoted and caring friend who can be a bit straightforward, impulsive, and short-tempered at times. ⦁ Just like Rukia, Satowa is graceful, determined, and stubborn. Satowa, like Rukia, has difficulty opening up to others and is adept at putting on a damsel in distress act to get her way in troublesome situations. ⦁ Both pairs initially get off on the wrong foot and often bicker because of their stubbornness, but ultimately come to respect, trust and care for one another. > Common tropes: ⦁ Both pairs share the "belligerent tension", "birds of a feather", "can't live with them, can't live without them", "everyone can see it", and "slow burn" tropes. > Similar backgrounds: ⦁ Before the start of the series, Chika often got into fights and had a "deliquent" image, which is somewhat reminiscent of Ichigo's backstory. ⦁ Satowa, like Rukia, is apart of a presigious family and faced immense pressure, which resulted in her becoming isolated and aloof. > Similar in appearance: ⦁ Both pairs have a guy with bright, light-coloured hair and brown eyes. Both pairs have a girl with straight, black hair with bangs.

2) Takumi Usui × Misaki Ayuzawa (Kaichou wa Maid-sama!) — > Similar personalities/dynamics: ⦁ Usui, like Ichigo, is confident, reliable, talented, and protective. ⦁ Misaki, like Rukia, is intelligent, diligent, and determined. Both characters struggle with being honest with themselves (and others) about their feelings and wants. ⦁ Usui enjoys teasing Misaki, similarly to how Rukia oftentimes teases Ichigo. ⦁ Both pairs initially get off on the wrong foot and often bicker because of their stubbornness, but ultimately come to respect, trust, and care for one another. > Similar backgrounds: ⦁ Usui, like Rukia, is partially a member of a prestigious family and is now isolated and somewhat aloof as a result of his upbringing. ⦁ Misaki, like Ichigo, cares greatly for her family and younger sibling and works hard to protect her. > Common tropes: ⦁ Both pairs share the "belligerent tension", "birds of a feather", "can't live with them, can't live without them", "declaration of protection", "everyone can see it", "like an old married couple" and "slow burn" tropes. > Similar in appearance: ⦁ Both pairs have a guy with light and bright-coloured spikey hair. Both pairs have a girl with straight, black, shoulder-length hair with bangs.

3) ItaFushi / Yuji Itadori × Megumi Fushiguro (Jujutsu Kaisen) — > Similar personalities/dynamics: ⦁ Both pairs have matching MBTI results. With Ichigo and Yuji falling under ISFP while Rukia and Megumi fall under ISTJ. ⦁ Yuji, like Ichigo, values protecting others—especially his friends—and is equally hard-working, determined, passionate, and impulsive. ⦁ Megumi, like Rukia, is intelligent, serious, blunt, diligent, and talented. He is equally as aloof, stubborn and short-tempered. ⦁ Both pairs have complementary personalities and fight well alongside their respective partner. Both pairs are very intuitive of their partner's needs and get along well—despite occasional teasing and bickering. > Similar Backgrounds: ⦁ Like Rukia, Megumi has a complex relationship with his older, adoptive sibling. Megumi and Rukia are both apart of prestigious clans that are involved with eliminating supernatural creatures. ⦁ Like Ichigo, Yuji has a mysterious family background with some of his family members being somewhat connected to one of the series' main villians. Both characters possess latent, inherent abilities as a result of their heritage. Both characters battle with literal "inner-demons". > Similar circumstances/roles in the series: ⦁ Both pairs consist of the protagonist and deuteragonist of their respective series. ⦁ Both Ichigo and Yuji were living relatively ordinary lives until they ran into their respective deuteragonist and had to awaken supernatural abilities to save themselves and the latter from a supernatural creature. ⦁ Both Rukia and Megumi have disobeyed orders/rules in order to protect their respective protagonist. ⦁ Both Ichigo and Yuji risked being executed as a result of the powers they awakened but were saved by their respective deuteragonist. ⦁ Conversely, at different points in their respective series, both Rukia and Megumi had lost their will to live and were then saved by their respective protagonist. > Common tropes: ⦁ Both pairs share the "battle couple", "can't live with them, can't live without them", "declaration of protection", "everyone can see it", "fan-preferred couple", "friends to lovers", "I owe you my life", "rescue romance", "star-crossed lovers", "slow burn", "sun × moon" and "you are better than you think you are" tropes.

4) GinTsu / Gintoki Sakata × Tsukuyo (Gintama) — > Similar personalities/dynamics: ⦁ Gintoki, like Ichigo, is very strong-willed, stubborn, short-tempered and impulsive. Conversely, behind their cool and detached image, both characters are very charismatic, compassionate, reliable and empathetic. ⦁ In terms of MBTI results, Rukia and Tsukuyo both fall under ISTJ. Like Rukia, Tsukuyo initially believed in placing duty above her personal feelings and struggled with emotional transparency and self-worth. Both characters are very responsible, diligent, determined and blunt. ⦁ Both pairs have complementary personalities and fight well alongside their respective partner. Both pairs are very intuitive of their partner's needs and get along well. ⦁ Although both pairs often bicker and tease each other, this does not detract from their respect, trust, and care for one another. > Similar backgrounds: ⦁ Like Ichigo and Rukia, who comprehend and assist one another because of their similar past experiences, Gintoki and Tsukuyo have comparable understanding and support. This theme is further developed in Gintama's "Red Spider Arc" where Gintoki and Tsukuyo's backstories are even more explicitly contrasted. > Similar circumstances and roles in series: ⦁ Both Tsukuyo and Rukia have defied orders to protect their respective protagonist. ⦁ Both Tsukuyo and Rukia struggle with emotional transparency and self-worth. Both characters have learnt to embrace their feelings and be less constrained thanks to their respective protagonist. > Corresponding symbolism & motifs: ⦁ Both pairs have canonically been associated with celestial motifs with Rukia and Tsukuyo being associated with the moon while Ichigo and Gintoki are associated with the Sun. ⦁ Rukia and Gintoki have been respectively described as the "light" in Ichigo and Tsukuyo's lives. ⦁ Rukia has been associated with Winter and Night while Ichigo has been associated with Summer and Day. Conversely, Tsukuyo has been associated with night and autumn while Gintoki has been associated with day and spring. > Common tropes: ⦁ Both pairs share the "a shared suffering", "back-to-back badasses", "battle couple", "belligerent tension", "birds of a feather", "can't live with them, can't live without them", "declaration of protection", "everyone can see it", "flirting under fire", "friends to lovers", "I owe you my life", "mutual respect", "slow burn", "sun × moon" and "you are better than you think you are" tropes.

If you made it till the end, I'm so grateful. Thanks for reading my ramblings. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below. Also, remember not to spread misinformation and to respect others' right to formulate their own opinions.