#tortoise dads? tortoise dads! :)

[ivyithink]

the horrors are never-ending, but at least there’s Waffles??

[the-starry-seas]

It's Gopher Tortoise Day!

April 10th was officially adopted by the Gopher Tortoise Council as Gopher Tortoise Day! In Florida, gopher tortoises are found in parts of all 67 counties and are frequently encountered in neighborhoods, along roadways, and in many of Florida’s public parks and forests. The goal of Gopher Tortoise Day is to increase awareness and appreciation for these long lived, gentle reptiles. Gopher tortoises are considered a keystone species because they dig burrows that provide shelter for 360 other species of wildlife, called "commensals." These commensal species include the gopher frog, Florida mouse, eastern indigo snake, and hundreds of invertebrates like beetles and crickets. Without the gopher tortoise, many of these species would not exist.

- gophertortoisedayfl.com

[thewhimsyturtle]

Happy Father's Day to all the dads who hold things together and don't buckle under pressure! 🥳🎩🐢

[krumpkin]

I used to look like this every Saturday night 🥴

[fanotastic]

Man, I hate cyberpunk and the mission with Barry. I originally played that story before Rikki passed and now playing it again feels like a knife to the heart. I get it now.

[t-u-i-t-c]

make me choose

ryo ogami or tetsuo daishinji → ryo ogami

[dadanon01]

YOU.

-Tortoise anon

Wait please, I have a wife and kids😭

[hirokiyuu]

well i said that thing abt the gibbon but tbh if the only kangaroo id ever met had been the last one i met i wouldve also thought those were hellspawn creatures. the other two i met were very nice tho

[artejoke]

Just slow with it

John William Godward, The Quiet Pet, 1906, Private collection

[tortoiseanon]

Hello child of mine, I've seen you've gained a new form and have made many new friends since I've been gone to get the milk

-Dad anon👨🥛

Omg dad... you're finally back 🥺

[renaissancelamb]

[ask-charliemorningstar]

I bought my tortoise a sweater the other day.

She couldn't wear it, she's a land turtle and it was a sea turtleneck. -🌈

[yetistardust]

still kickin / bad at postin

[thewhimsyturtle]

Have you seen Granddad's new glasses? They are quite the spectacle! 👓👀😉🐢

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads! Time to throw them a party so good that even the cake is in tiers! 🎉🎂😂

[cloakedstarlight]

Just yesterday, my dad made a pun about Sally Menela— so I love this

Cinderella rewrite where Cinderella’s father is an unusually successful fisherman due to his secret friendships with the shy and mysterious mermaids, successful enough to attract a moderately wealthy and ambitious bride with two daughters. Once he dies, her stepmother, determined to make sure her daughters inherit the fishing business as dowries by marrying before Cinderella, forbids her from going out on the fishing boats or into town and makes sure she spends as much of her time as possible doing drudgework, hauling offal and cleaning fish. When the Prince’s ball comes around, an important occasion for young women to make good connections, the stepmother forbids her from going, telling her that she needs to get the latest salmon catch gutted and ready for sale instead.

Cinderella’s mermaid godmother calls upon her people to clean the fish and gifts her a dress and shoes of shimmering fish scales that wreathe her in rainbows under the moonlight. She makes an impression on the Prince at the ball so strong that he immediately falls in love with her, and when she’s forced to flee before her stepmother notices her (no masquerade mask or dancing rainbows will disguise her from her own family at close range), the Prince is left with only a delicate fish leather slipper left on the front steps to try to find her again.

He goes around the houses, seeking the owner of the slipper, but Cinderella is once again working in the fish sheds. He stepmother, desperate and determined and having found Cinderella’s other shoe that very morning, realises what has happened and takes a knife to the feet of her prettiest daughter, telling the prince that she suffered an injury that very morning but those are definitely her shoes, see, here’s the other one, and they still fit.

The daughter is pretty and witty and charming, and while the Prince doesn’t feel the same spark and instant sense of connection that he did at the party, he reasons that she’s overwhelmed and in pain and once she’s healed, all will be well. There are no birds to whisper of blood in the shoe – the Prince has seen the bandaged feet already – and the daughter slips on the shoes (the only shoes she has that will fit her, now,) and accompanies him to the palace.

But the stepmother is no doctor, and by the time the Prince gets her to the palace doctors, it’s too late – his beloved has contracted an infection in her feet from the shoe leather, made unclean in its travels. She will survive – it is an infection of a common filth of fish and birds, one that the doctors have potions for for the occasions where dangerously cooked food causes outbreaks – but in her raving, she confesses the whole scheme to the Prince who, furious, returns to the village to find the girl he truly fell in love with, the girl hidden from him.

“Oh, yeah, the fish cleaner,” the villagers shrug. “We don’t see her around very much, she’s probably in the sheds. Her family calls her Salmonella.”

[slippery-soapbox]

Mohan is on fire. 1x12

it’s metha humor-i’ll show myself out