#trust issues + savior complex

[psychedelya]

do you remember the rarepairing ever

[sunnyxjarrus]

me scrolling Pinterest looking for outfits my main character would wear (instead of actually writing her) : ah yes this is it except the pants would be cargo to carry all her baggage in

[windor-truffle]

a compilation of Asbel canonically being an angsty little bitch:

[utilitycaster]

I wanted to explore the idea of people who dislike C3 not engaging with its themes because I haven't actually seen anyone making the argument give a full rundown of said themes, and this may end up being several posts. I'd like to start with anticolonialism. Perhaps it is a theme; if so, I think it's presented exceptionally badly, in a way that appeals uniquely to white westerners desiring to see themselves as a combination of victim and savior, rather than as a complex issue in a story centering the colonized. It got very long, so it's under a cut.

If this is the theme with which we as the viewers are not engaging, I'd argue neither is the work itself - it's largely projection. As many others have pointed out, the use of Marquet, a setting inspired by Africa and Asia (and presented in a highly stereotyped and Orientalist way in Campaign 1 no less) as nothing more than a casual backdrop with little engagement with the cultures present, and with much of the story elsewhere, undercuts that badly. I'd actually argue this is a recurring issue with Critical Role's works; Ank'Harel appears and is even fleshed out more in Call of the Netherdeep, but the story follows, and mostly takes place, among the Calamity-era ruins being excavated and amid faction squabbles concerning them. The culture and politics of Ank'Harel remain a distant second to the greater mythology of the Calamity, and again, after the society and culture and everyday people of the more European-inspired Wildemount took such a front seat in Campaign 2, it seems like a worrying pattern. Given the increased sensitivity and investment towards the cultures based on those in our own world that (for the most part) did the colonizing, and the "set-dressing", as others have called it, status of Marquet, perhaps this world is not a good one to tell that story. What's also interesting, and telling, is that the African and Asian - especially West, South, and Southeast Asian - was even a defense within the fandom: the reason so few of Bells Hells were from Marquet, we were told, is because the cast is white. In that case, and given how Marquet is so poorly integrated into the story that multiple beats relying on knowledge of the Apex War fall flat, why didn't we set this in Issylra (notably, the continent in which modern, mortal-driven occupation efforts are occurring)? And more importantly why are we trusting a group nearly entirely made of white culturally Christian Americans to tell what is argued to be an exceptionally leftist story on religiously-motivated colonialism if we can't even trust them to play a character from a real-world culture heavily impacted by said colonialism?

Another rather significant wrinkle is the fact that those wishing to release Predathos in the service of destroying the gods were happily working with the Kreviris Imperium, who desired to colonize Exandria. Remember how everyone was just talking about how the poor Ruidians would die if the planet were destroyed and how they're the victims in all this (and honestly, I don't disagree that the commoners of Ruidus, especially those without psychic powers, have a uniquely rough deal) when the planet cracks? Well, let's talk that through. I think the role of the Vanguard's Ruidusborn in this is rather important, ie, if they are throwing off the colonialism of the gods (to be discussed later whether I consider that valid), they are doing so by stepping on the necks of the common people of Ruidus. And if those people will be doomed by the release of Predathos, it is Bells Hells who doomed them.

The people of Ruidus were told of their manifest destiny of the Blue Promise by their governing body (which also served, effectively, as religious leadership, with mind control). I think "Propaganda" is a poor real-world metaphor for "sends dreams of the land promised to you each night, making you both jealous of what they have and very much influenced by their culture, while you have no dreams of your own" but it's the best I have, but that itself occupies an interesting space. It's a great beat for sf, but this actually leads to a rather worrisome metaphor regarding the nature of cultural influence (which was spoken of on a 4-sided Dive and is often cited here, and I think the way it's discussed fails to consider the implications). The idea of cultural hegemony and globalization is a very real one. It can occur within one's country (I, a non-Christian American, am well acquainted with many Christmas songs and traditions and am given Christian holidays off work but must use vacation for my own). It can also occur outside of it, as with globalized beauty standards - white ideas of beauty leading to light skin being prioritized in India, or double-eyelid surgery becoming common in South Korea. The situation on Ruidus therefore has some interesting implications. What does it mean for them to have inherited culture from Exandria - but at the hands of their own government that seeks to colonize Exandria? Is this a good way to explore these topics, when Exandrians are neatly excluded from the spread of their own cultural hegemony (as they had no idea) and are also poised to become the victims in this colonization? This idea, incidentally - that the people of Exandria exist in an impossible in-between space in the colonization metaphors, blameless victim yet free from the ugliest consequences of being a colonized culture - will recur, and I think that is the most damning evidence that this is at best a story of anticolonialism stripped of nuance and complexity.

In a further exploration of the cultural impact of colonialism, what does it mean that, again, I, Jewish from birth and raised in a Jewish home and sent, even, to a Jewish school through middle school (though not a Jewish preschool) have a pretty thorough knowledge of not just Christmas songs, but could probably name a bunch of individual Christian denominations and maybe even the intricacies in how they depict their crosses - while generally having freedom to practice my religion within the dominantly Christian US, if not equality in doing so - but Bells Hells, living under the presumed thumb of the gods, can't reliably tell their symbols or domains? Others have already covered this but if the gods are the dominant force, why have Bells Hells managed to largely avoid any actual consequences for godlessness other than "when I asked for something, I didn't get it?"

Why have all the governments we've seen, save Vasselheim (which, again - we haven't ever spent a ton of time in, so why did we go to Marquet again?) failed to convey religious dominance at the hands of the gods? The Clovis Concord, Tal'Dorei, Whitestone, Niirdal-Poc, Syngorn, and as far as I can tell Ank'Harel, Jrusar, Bassuras, Court of the Lambent Path, and the Stratos Throne (and if the latter isn't then Imogen and Ashton grew up in its borders without any religion forced upon them) are all secular governments that at most have outlawed Betrayer God worship. The Empire (in which Ludinus Da'leth has been a major political force for centuries) has strong restrictions on worship of all but six gods, and if you look at the first Tal'Dorei Campaign setting, it was at the timed conceived of as banning all deity worship. The Dynasty is a theocracy for a non-pantheon entity, engaging in missionary work but largely depicted as (if I may, oddly) devoid of violence. While Uthodurn's King Imathan Talviel is himself a worshiper of the Arch Heart, Uthodurn appears to have no state religion. Indeed, I'd say, as again, someone of a frequently persecuted religious minority, who lives in a country with a dark history of forced conversion of the native colonized people into Christianity [the Native American residential school system] I'd say that for a world in which the gods are objectively real? Exandrian governments are bizarrely lenient and bloodless when it comes to religion. Only the Dynasty even has a state religion of the aforementioned locations, and they don't even outlaw worship of non-Betrayer gods. The Empire, Concord, and Dynasty have, at most, fines or incarceration for worship of illegal deities. Hearthdell lost more people from their own attack and from the people teleported away by the solstice than from the missionary work; you think the might of Vasselheim couldn't have slaughtered the entire town if they went in? The only places we know of as even possibly more brutal are the Betrayer-worshiping Iron Authority, which remains vague and undescribed (weirdly, actually, given that the Crown Keepers might have gone there in the time between EXU Prime and Bells Hells); and Aeor (execution by hanging for deity worship).

I am not saying that any outlawing of religious worship (nor lack thereof) is a good thing, but we live in a world where people have - and still are - killed for gods for which we have, in my opinion, no proof of existence. It is unbelievably telling that the grievances provided (Tuldus, Ludinus, and members of Bells Hells) are all entirely individual experiences rather than anything systemic. It's people mad at their small communities or their parents, and that anger is valid, but it is immensely dangerous to take one's own individual negative experiences and treat it as systemic. This is the underlying motivation of how countless people are radicalized into hate groups (see: MRAs/incels, who are mostly mad at their mothers or at the fact that increased rights for women means women don't have to date or marry men if they don't want to - men are still the dominant class here, but their perceived individual slights and their extrapolation to this as systemic dominance of women is the radicalizing factor). The fact that Exandria has failed to set up a world where this is any sort of religious hegemony - Vasselheim is certainly important, but they aren't even a centralized governing body of worship a la the Catholic church, let alone a force outside of Othanzia, and are seen as an ally by the nonreligious Percy and Keyleth - again lethally undercuts the idea of this as anything but the most softened and childish discussion of colonialism and religion. Even Deanna's question to Pelor regarding Hearthdell reveals it as inaction - a failure to stop - rather than a command to act. It's at the level of how we teach American kindergarteners of the first Thanksgiving, except unless the entire narrative is wholly unreliable this is the actual story of Exandria. One giant pulled punch.

To quickly cover other items highly relevant to any sophisticated discussion of decolonialization/postcolonialism/colonialism in general that are absent from Campaign 3, and indeed Exandria as a whole: as multiple other fans have discussed, there is no concept of people of mixed race if the gods are the colonizers here. There is insufficient discussion of how, for example, many colonized or oppressed cultures have adopted western religions and see them as highly integral to their culture today - Catholicism in Central and South America and parts of Southeast Asia; Islam in other portions of Southeast Asia; Christianity within Africa and among African-Americans descended from slaves. This does not make the original forcing of said religion right or just; but any discussion of decolonization must account for the wants of those colonized, and I find that Campaign 3 fails to do so. The lack of meaningful conversation with common people across Exandria is something many of us have brought up. If we assume the members of the Accord are not necessarily speaking for those they rule, why do we have no concept of how the people at large of Whitestone, Gelvaan, Jrusar, Bassuras, Uthodurn, the Silken Squall, the Empire, the Dynasty, and the Tal'Dorei Republic feel? And if they are speaking for those they rule, well, we know how they feel.

I finally want to discuss that weird and, in my opinion, nonexistent irl space between actual colonizer and the colonized that mortals occupy. I personally reject the idea of the gods as colonizers given what we've seen in Downfall and because the metaphor is rather messy given the mythic scale. However, let's let treat them as such in this moment. Exandria was populated by titans. The lore is (possibly deliberately) vague and at times contradictory here, but either the titans lay dormant for a time after the gods arrived but before mortal society developed; or they lived in harmony with said mortals (who were created by the gods). They assisted, in some tellings, of the sealing of Predathos by the gods. They then, for unknown reasons, either awoke, or turned on the mortals; in the resulting schism they were killed and sealed by the Prime deities and the mortals. The Betrayer gods were those who wished to leave. The Betrayer gods too were sealed. The last known titans, sealed but not dead, were either destroyed or banished by the Ring of Brass during the start of the Calamity in order to prevent complete annihilation. The titans are now dead. Per Ashton's commune with them, there may be something that will rise again should the gods be eliminated; [only] the strong will survive it.

Questions to consider:

Why are a number of fans arguing that this story is one of anticolonialism so eager to place blame on Asmodeus and hope Predathos eats him first, when he is arguably the ringleader of those who most hoped to leave Exandria to the titans while they were still living? Do you hate the leader of the one most willing to decolonize? Or is the issue that this would also mean abandonment of the mortals, in which case, which is worse - destabilization or maintenance of a current situation (ie, the status quo)?

If the gods are colonizers, why isn't Predathos? It is no more a native of Exandria than they are. We know the gods were driven by an existential danger to their lives (which may or may not have been Predathos). Did Predathos lead the gods to Exandria and later corner them there, setting all of this in motion? Or is Predathos no different from them, driven to Exandria out of the need to survive? Given the titans opposed Predathos as well it is difficult to paint it as their savior (and the idea of an external savior of the colonized is, as discussed, one with unfortunate implications)? What is Predathos, and why is it better than the gods, if you believe it to be?

What are mortals here? They are not colonizer, nor are they native. I've discussed the (also very unfortunate) implications of treating sentient beings as ecology metaphors, but given that mortals truly did have, per the story, no agency in arriving on Exandria but were rather created here, are they akin to a non-native species? Such a species can be either invasive or beneficial, which fits with the idea of mortals being unique in their ability to change. Mortals were the ones under threat from the titans despite, again, being neither colonizer nor colonized; mortals participated in their destruction.

Where do the eidolons - seemingly unaffected by all of this - fit in? For a story about how change and newness might bring a better world, why the focus on the long-dead titans instead of the nature spirits that have seemingly taken their place? Why are many of Bells Hells constantly looking back and not forward?

And that last point feels particularly salient. The people of Exandria - a people whose opinion, again, in this campaign, it feels we have failed to explore - exist in an in-between state. They are more the heirs of the colonizers, in this assumption that the gods are colonizers, than the colonized. They cannot undo what the gods did. The gods can at this time only act through them.

What does it mean that we as the audience are intended to see ourselves most in a people who were not themselves those doing the colonizing, who are now under threat from colonization, and who might cooperate with the driving force behind that colonization? What does it say that our mortal viewpoint characters put more effort speaking to and for the dead than to the living? What does it tell us that many of them see themselves as the victims? What does it say that past campaigns had multiple characters subjected to actual systemic oppression (the twins, Jester, Molly, Veth-as-a-goblin, and Fjord all experienced racism) and explored the concept of the other (the Dynasty) and Campaign 3 never did? And when we add that to all of the above - that this world has failed to set up religion as even remotely close to both the meaningful and the oppressive force as it is in our own, despite the gods being real, that the grievances are individual and not systemic, that nearly all actions by the gods are motivated not by greed but by survival - is this an anti-colonialist work? Does it grapple with the problems of decolonialism meaningfully? Or does it let a white American viewer fantasize about a world where they are the oppressed, under threat of colonization, where their personal grievances are all forms of systemic oppression, cleansed of their own complicity in these systems, and where they can never be blamed for their actions because this is all so hard to choose- despite a far softer and gentler world than the one in which we actually live. And does it do so in a work they were going to watch anyway because they've been watching since well before this was introduced, thus permitting them to pretend they are experiencing a sophisticated anticolonialism narrative without having to go through the effort of actually reading that linked pdf of Orientalism they reblogged?

[u-name-it-i-ship-it]

james developing a savior complex due to all his friends having traumatic experiences and him being pretty privileged in life and now he only feels useful when he's helping someone through something

and he needs to feel useful he needs it makes him feel like he's contributing something to the friendship and he needs to feel like he is

this combined with remus's martyr complex and him never wanting to talk about his issues leads to a lot of frustration and insecurity for james. does remus not trust him enough?? but its not about him it never was

he was always in love with lily but he truly falls in LOVE when they have a heart to heart and she opens up to him about her sister and about snape and her family he feels like he's helping her and supporting her through it

and he doesn't really say anything about himself because he doesn't think he has any issues or trauma

but one day remus won't talk to him about whats wrong again but he can see somethings wrong he can see it so clearly and he's on patrol with lily and he just breaks down

and shes like "james. you know you have value outside of supporting others right?? people don't only like you because you're there for them?"

and he's like oh. because no he doesn't know and that's the first time anyone has told him that,, the first time he was the one that needed help and not him giving it

and lilys like baby... we have a lot of work to do

[mrsugden-dinglefirst]

John’s hero complex with Aaron

I feel there is going to be a development in Aaron and John’s relationship in terms of how he treats Aaron and why Aaron seems to be acting ‘out of character’.

John has a hero complex, there is no way the show is going to tell that story and not show how it affects a relationship. Someone with a hero complex may overextend themselves to help their partner and instead of creating an equal partnership, they create a parent-child dynamic. This can lead to the “hero” feeling unappreciated, burnt out, and resentful, while the partner may feel infantilized or suffocated, we’ve seen Aaron being driven to guilt because John gets insecure and often blames Aaron for it.

The hero/savior dynamic can create a power imbalance where one partner takes on a parental role, which is not conducive to a healthy romantic relationship. John seems to do that a lot with Aaron, telling him to ‘go home’ or to ‘shut up’ or telling him to ‘calm down’, it’s John taking control and giving Aaron orders and Aaron accepts it. This plays a part in control, and we’ve heard John say that he loves control, needing to feel in control.

The “hero” might feel responsible for solving their partner's problems or making them happy, which can lead to them neglecting their own needs and well-being. We know that John immedietly took control of the situation with Anthony right after Aaron told him about it as he thought he was helping/saving Aaron. He also feels like he can and is making Aaron happy by being with him.

A hero complex can stem from underlying trust issues, leading to difficulty trusting others' abilities or intentions. This shows with John’s obsession with Robert and trust issues he feels between Aaron and Robert and Aaron constantly having to reassure him. They also make their partner feel they have to be dependant on them. This is made known all those times where John has said “Aaron knows he’s always got me” “I make him happy” etc. This also counts for the “hero” needing to feel need/wanted by their partner. This is a big dynamic with John and Aaron.

If I’m correct, John feels like Aaron ‘owes’ him. For helping him hide Anthony’s body and for saving Aaron’s life that one time. But we’ve actively seen that possessiveness when John tells Aaron that he’s ‘never letting him go’, he also told Robert that he knows every inch of Aaron ‘what he enjoys, thinks, feels, who he likes and who he dislikes’ which Robert called creepy, because…it is.

I think overtime Aaron has grown to learn to stay quiet to keep John calm and not so angry. The first time we ever saw John lose it with Aaron was outside the pub when they were arguing over a car because of Anthony and John made Aaron jump when he shouted at him to shut up and proceeded to tell Aaron to ‘get a grip’ which can come across as belittling or dismissive. Something else people with a saviour complex sometimes tends to do, that’s an example of narcissistic abuse. Aaron sits quietly and acts like he just agrees with John to keep him happy. The difference in example is when in November 2024, Aaron defended Robert when John badmouthed him, this was before the Anthony stuff started. In tonights episode he stays quiet when John does it again. When John told Aaron to ‘go home’ when Aaron mentions Robert in the shop, Aaron just does it. No arguement, no pushback, he just says ‘okay, fine, alright’ and leaves (it reminded me of a teenager being told off). When Aaron felt amused by Robert being back yesterday, he looked to see if John was looking and immediatly changed his expression like he’s scared to know how he’ll react if he had caught him smiling at Robert. Aaron tiptoes over John’s feelings quite a lot which his over reassurences and excuses to keep John feeling happy and satisfied.

John knowing where Anthony’s body is definitely gives him control over Aaron and I believe he has used that before in the past.

It’s worth the reminded that John HAS in fact harmed a partner in the past and he claimed that he loved his partner more than (Aiden) ever did. Which may play out similar with Aaron loving Robert.

[bumblelune]

Akito5/Toya5 are 2 events I might never actually get around to reading. It's disappointing to see how clpl seems to not care about cohesion in their game between units.

Aki5 has been disappointing to me ever since it came out in October last year. The themes were really good; Akito lands in a burnout, and feels now lost after beating RAD WEEKEND.

VBS on its own isn't bad. It's written well! But they've always stood out very awkwardly amongst the other units. They have very specific issues that other units don't have.

Leoni have always had a very clear goal; Go pro, a goal set by shiho. And that goal is now being mirrored by Sakis desire to be closer to the audience.

MMJ was always set up for success as a unit, and now we see that they have production issues.

Wxs has good goals but tsukasa is just getting shafted.

niigo has literally nothing bad going. whatever about kanade being all about mafuyu; their events are anticipated, expected, theorized about & high tension.

And niigo is why im starting to find so many issues with vbs.

niigo drags stories & themes no matter what they are. It took 4 years before the first plotline was wrapped up in some way (Mizukis secret). Mafuyus parents & Kanades savior complex & Enas self doubt (even if thats a lesser thing. Ena never rly had smth specifically set up afaik.) are STILL really actively ongoing.

The ONE thing vbs had ongoing was Ans jealousy. Which, after An5, got tamed as well. it was whipped like a wimp girl 😓 Just what does vbs have running for them other than going to america? what goals do they specifically have jn americs other than the vague idea of "reaching even more people!". Vbs was so nice because they had a very consice idea of what they liked, worked towards, etc. Their gaze shifting to something more vague is by all means, pretty sad.

Now. there comes aki5.

The setup was amazing. Introducing akito. Burnt out after hitting his goal. He reached what he wants. Holy shit this is GOOD! It makes sense as well for his character.... And then it was fixed at the end. what?

So youre already far ahead of every other unit, and then you also have to not drag out a very nice plot point that can cause for tension?

While they couldve made aki5 introduce the issue Akito has. And then, maybe have him announce he's not joining them to America. Old feelings resurfacing; he feels like he'll just hold them back beyond rad weekend. And then the event can end.

Toya5 could pick up on vbs trying to find themselves a reason to go on, to convince Akito to go with them. Toyas "I want you to rely on me" turning into a desperate "I NEED you to rely on me." Because toya can not go ahead without akito. And Akito can get taken along. His new spark being for Toya; for toya and vbs.

he doesn't HAVE to know what's wrong. He doesn't HAVE to know how to fix it. He just has to trust toya that it'll be okay. And that the spark Akito lost will get fueled again by Toya.

Then an6 could've focused on vbs in america. Idk it feels like it'd flow better. Akito experiencing things more as a backseat burner would've been a really great addition.

yeah idk..

anyways I made this card as potential set for this aki5 rewrite. Toyas card for toya5 idea had the idea to be opposite. blooming flowers & very light.

[daisyjonesgf]

the lakes (6) // finnick odair x f. reader

merry christmas to all who celebrate, my gift to you 🎄

summary: it's supposed to be over, you and Finnick are supposed to spend the rest of your lives helping each other heal. living as peacefully as possible, but the the third quarter quell throws a wrench in your domestic bliss.

previous chapter / next chapter

midnight rain

5k words

warnings: angst, fluff, SMUT MDNI (y'all better eat it up while it's here bc this might be one of like twice or three times so merry christmas lmao), orgasm denial, teasing, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), slightly mean finnick but also softdom, mentions and allusions to trafficking and sexual trauma, self-hate, manipulation of someone's feelings, allusions to death/violence, pnv, usage of weapons, terms of endearment, no use of y/n, unedited, cumming inside, mental health issues, self doubt, hypocritical reader, savior complex finnick

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Cold air hit your skin as the doors to the training center opened, instantly you could feel the onslaught of goosebumps on your arms. “Remember brush up on skills, knives, spears and number one objective-”

"Katniss.” You finished for him. "You go get your hands back on that trident, and hopefully my instincts will remember what it takes to throw a knife or a spear.”

"If not, work on some survival skills, but I think the instincts will kick in.” You tilted your head to the side, uncertain but humoring the idea. He kissed you softly, “See you soon."

"I'm only going to be a few hundred feet away, Finnick.” You smiled and he did too.

“Well that's a few hundred feet too far.”

"Good thing you can come find me anytime you want.” Squeezing his hand as you reluctantly took a few steps back.

“You don't want to come and admire me back in my element?" He joked, his grin bearing his shining teeth.

“In your dreams, Odair."

“Absolutely!" Finnick's eyebrows quirked up before you finally pulled yourself out of his magnetic field to focus on the more viral thing, survival.

It had been so long since you'd thrown a knife with purpose, over half a decade which had been what you felt most confident in. Of course there had been a couple times, admittedly more than a couple, when your nerves spiked up and a moment where you were simply making dinner, chopping something up, to being spooked by a noise that led to a knife wedged in a wall or cupboard. So Finnick cooked and cut, he wasn't as easily startled or on edge.

This year they had clearly made more of an investment into the training, a little pad verifying it was you when you stood on the elevated block. You took a second before lifting the tiny weapons from where they lay, the weight was instantly familiar in a way that made your chest heave. It felt like you were that same young girl again, trying to see what could help her survive, help her overcome others. Finnick has been right, how to throw a knife, how to throw it to kill, all came back like child's play.

The instant the first hologram appeared it was like your brain went on autopilot, they weren't real but your brain was screaming, survive, survive, survive. Each knife flew from your hand with lethal aim, your arms instinctively knew what to do, how to throw precisely as fast as possible. So you trusted your body when suddenly the simulation was over, you felt your head coming back to reality. It was terrifying, you'd felt like you were in a dizzy high and suddenly you were that same young girl terrified in the arena. Full of guilt and regret for the lives you'd taken.

“I thought your weapon of choice was a spear." A voice cut through your thoughts, bringing your thoughts back to the person you were now. Peeta, ever outgoing and charismatic just as he'd been depicted, with an untrusting looking Katniss not far behind.

“No, that's what was convenient at the end, but the spear was never mine, it was-"

“Conway’s." Katniss finished the name you hated saying, hated remembering for you. “You killed in the Bloodbath with knives and then the girl from District 2." She must have been rewatching everyone's games, learning their tactics.

“Ironic, weren't they the District 2 girl from last year's weapon of choice as well?" You asked, stepping off the platform.

“Yes." She was tense, stiff it radiated off of her, stagnating the air.

“When there's such limited options, it's hard to get much differentiation. You certainly helped mix the bag last year.” Not just with her little bow and arrow, you hoped she knew what you were really saying, but couldn't with the people watching from above. She probably didn't, she was like a guard dog who didn't know whether or not one could be warmed up too, but would always assume the worst.

“I'm glad that was entertaining." Her voice was bitter as if she had no idea that everyone here has gone through the exact same trauma and felt the same way.

“It certainly was for them." You glanced upwards, towards the head game maker and his cronies observing you all like lab rats. “Most of us were." The Morphlings certainly had to be the most boring show of all, to those who couldn't realize it was such a smart tactic to stay alive, even if it didn't make great daytime television.

“You should teach us how to throw sometime." Peeta inserted himself back into the conversation. "If you want, we could teach each other things. I could go over camouflage.” He offered with a smile.

“Yeah of course!" You smiled back. “When you blended into the rocks by that stream, it was truthfully unfathomable in talent to be able to do that."

“And Katniss can shoot, I'm sure you've seen, but she never misses." Katniss shot him a glare, "Just following Haymitch's orders.” Peeta shrugged before his eye was caught by Johanna finishing up with her ax training. “I should get a formal introduction." He was walking away when Katniss spoke again.

“Why'd you volunteer for that girl?" She asked, and you turned your head towards her.

“For Annie?" You felt like it was obvious, but Katniss just nodded. “I wasn't going to put her through this again, that wouldn't have been fair of me. I couldn't let any of them, I couldn't have lived with myself if I had, so I might as well die on that hill now." Your candor seemed to make her less stiff. “You know, she was the first tribute I mentored. Years after my games, I did everything I could to help her win, to prepare her, but I couldn't prepare her for what happened after. Seeing her after that it was like I failed." Annie would forever be known as the one who went "a little crazy.” Maybe that was a blessing though, maybe it saved her from a much worse fate. Katniss' eyes finally looked more soft, not off guard, but not blocked off from your words.

“Even though you know this time only one of you can come out?" Her eyes briefly flickered towards Finnick before landing back on you.

“I'm not expecting to be the one who makes it out and she wouldn't have either. It's worth it to save her, he'll be fine without me." The words were too raw, too much like being stripped naked, but you knew you needed her to trust you and being honest would probably be the most effective route. Of course she couldn't completely trust you if she'd watched your games, you didn't blame her for that, but you just needed a little of it. “It's not different from what you did for your sister, sometimes you just know when that person needs to be protected no matter what that means for you."

Katniss began walking over to where the spears were located, “Like Peeta said, if you show me how to use the spear and the knives, I can show you how to shoot the bow and what plants and berries you can trust." This was her way of some form of acceptance you realized and internally congratulated yourself.

“Sounds like a deal to me." You picked one of the heavy spears up, it was also just as you remembered. It brought back flashes of the boy who taught you how to use it, the boy you'd killed with it. You could tell what she was thinking as you held it, how you used Conway, used his emotions and then his own weapon. “You know, the funny thing is people act like he didn't know, but that’s really what made it so brilliant.” Katniss looked confused as you stepped into the platform, which confirmed it was you. "Looking back you realize how early on he had me figured out and was playing me right back, I really think that's what endeared us to each other in the first place. He was trying to beat me at my own game almost from the beginning and I didn't even realize.” You launched the spear into the first hologram before quickly grabbing the other as Katniss watched on, absorbing the seemingly impromptu rant. “I can't blame him, I don't blame him even if I'm the one who gets it all placed on my head, which I probably deserve." Another spear knocking the hologram figure apart. The final one ready to fly. “You just have to remember who the real enemy is."

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

"You two already have an advantage being from District 4, plenty of opportunities to practice with what you would be good at using in lessons. So stick with whatever you were good at then to impress, but don't forget to learn other skills that could be life saving in the long run.” Finnick was breaking down the plan for the two of you as the walk for the first training session with the other tributes was about to ensue. Although it went unspoken you'd also been blessed with extra practice even from back when you were dating Finnick in the district, he was so anxious that he needed to ensure you knew how to protect yourself. That you polished your skills, which he was sure you could do.

"Show off your strengths, but don't forget you're not just impressing the gamemakers, but the approval of other tributes can be vital. Alliances are important.” Ondine added.

Finnick nodded in agreement, “Another advantage from District 4, is the availability of the Career pack of tributes. All of the best trained and prepared tributes, especially if you show off enough to impress Districts 1 & 2 you're both a shoe-in. I'd encourage that as the strongest choice."

“I don't think we should do that." Conway’s voice of disagreement made you stop in your tracks. What was wrong with him? What could possibly be going on in his head that possessed him to argue with your mentor, someone who'd won before? Finnick raised an eyebrow, in a look you could only describe as patronizing. “I'm just saying that also means they're the best prepared to stab us in the back when it comes down to it. If we ally with tributes from a less prominent district it could make it easier when it comes down to it, make it less vicious.” He was delusional, it would be vicious no matter what when there were just a few people left.

You looked at Ondine who’s eyes were closed as she shook her head, Finnick's arms were crossed as he looked at the two of you, and Conway looked expectantly right at you. Then it hit you, this was a test. In order to maintain his trust in the fantasy you'd been carefully creating you'd have to take his side, prove you weren't loyal to every thing Finnick muttered. Even if it was hypocritical it angered you, it felt hellishly unfair that he would put you in a predicament like that. Who cared about the relationship between you and Finnick when he was the mentor offering advice to save both of your lives?

Conway pointed at you, urging you for a response. “I mean, what do you think? I'm just babbling aloud, I'll drop it if you think it's stupid." Maybe you were just paranoid, no, this was definitely a loyalty test. To him your love would mean support, it would mean unwavering devotion. So you painfully forced a caring, understanding look in your eyes, for your muscles to relax, and a loving smile on your face.

“Of course we should keep our options open, I mean we're not even there yet, the Careers this year might not even be the best options. You're right, Conway, we should consider every path to help us." Of course the Careers would be prepared, he was going to get you killed if he kept pulling this. Reasoning that at least your actions were well calculated not blindly emotional scrutinization. It made you slightly resent him, but the answer seemed to satisfy him as he grinned at the other two before beginning to walk again.

The slight spring in his step was obvious to anyone paying close enough attention, it upset you. When you hoped Conway wasn't watching, you shot a look towards Finnick. It was quick, but you grimaced and hoped your eyes could express your annoyance. Although the bob of his head was equally quick you could see he understood and was feeling just as enraged as you felt if not more. How could Conway claim to care about you when he could threaten a potentially life saving alliance to try and prove a point about how much you felt for him over Finnick? Although Finnick still wore a charming smile you could feel him seething and it comforted you somehow to know that he would never, that he would always pick safety, your safety and that he wouldn't stand for Conway’s games either. Even if rationally it did make sense, you were messing with him which both you and Finnick knew, but there wasn't time to think on that when it was life and death.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

“You're brilliant, even if it pains me to admit that you beat me to it." Finnick shook his head, smiling wildly. Haymitch had informed you that so far Katniss would have liked you as an ally if it weren't for the package deal that included Finnick. A feat considering all the tributes that wanted to ally with her after her impressive show in the archery station. It had truly been amazing, how smoothly she used the weapon, and how accurate she was.

“Well, you're welcome." You pecked him on the lips, smiling. Sitting down on the bed and smoothing out your robe, Finnick soon followed.

“I love you so much." He mumbled as he crashed down onto the mattress.

“I love you too, Finnick." Your head lay down by his, quietly counting the freckles scattered across his face.

“Staring is rude." His eyes shone with his internal brightness that he couldn't hide from you.

“Isn't that a perk I should get being your wife and all?" He scooted closer, nose brushing against yours.

“I suppose. Don't know why you'd need to, there's no need to memorize when you're stuck with me forever now."

“Good." There was nothing you wanted more than to see his handsome face every day, from when you woke to when you slept and every moment in between.

His hot hands embraced your cold face, making you shiver and he smirked. It was so patronizing, how he knew that his skin to yours was like fire on ice so you had no choice but to melt, but you couldn't stop yourself from softening anyways. Before you could even try and conjure up words to try and call him out, his lips were on yours.

He wasn't aggressive, never, but his gentleness didn't take away from his control. Your lips chased him and suddenly you were beneath him, swept up in his plush lips. Hands searched for him before he pulled his face away. You couldn't stop yourself before you whined at the removal of his lips from yours, pouting at him.

He scoffed, looking down at you slightly condescending, “Really, angel?" You could feel your face heating up as his eyes gazed at you, his hand delicately tracing the hem of your robe. “We don't have to do this, if you don't want to, sweet girl. You have to communicate with me, I don't want to push you, if you even don't feel comfortable you need to tell me." It felt like too much in the moment when it seemed so blatantly obvious that you wanted him, craved him. But it also made you love him so much more.

For so long it had been difficult to even be touched. The Capitol had come in and dug their talons into you, your own intimacy didn't even belong to you. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You'd tried to push it down, he'd dealt with it for so much longer, since he was so much younger. Pushing it down didn't stop the roots of trauma from taking root deep within your soul though.

You felt guilty for not being able to give yourself in so many ways to Finnick who was unbelievably patient, of course he was, he understood, he cared. When you'd finally grazed your hand against his and let him grab it, the pureness of the touch was enough to make you burst into tears. That made it more difficult too though, your tears. A tactic that had once seemed wise in winning over the Capitol as a sweet, innocent girl had come back to bite you. Echoes of how pretty you were when you cried.

When you'd finally given that part of yourself to Finnick, of your own accord, the will that has usually been taken from you. He'd made sure you wouldn't regret it, he brought back the positives of intimacy which you'd forgotten about. You were so used to calling upon the tears as you zoned out, floated away. But not with Finnick, never with him. Where you both belonged to each other and were truly connected as one.

“Are you comfortable?" You asked softly. It felt selfish that he was so worried about you with what he'd been through as well, like it was too much about you.

Finnick sighed, “Don't do that." You looked at him quizzically, “Averting the question, you shouldn't be doing it to please me, I'll be okay. I wouldn't have gotten this far if I wasn't.” His hand stroked the side of your face which chased each movement. "Are you certain you want this? I'm not going to be upset if you say no, angel.” The way he loved you so deeply to be going step by step wasn't even grating anymore it just made your heart buzz even more.

"I do want this Finnick, I know what to say if it is too much.” The thumb grazing your neck was enough to make your eyes roll back, your entire body sensitive with the waiting.

Finnick nodded, slowly. Making sure you weren't just trying to appease him, "Color?”

You sighed dramatically, "Green.” He tugged your hair lightly, "Ow!”

"So impatient, trying to take good care of my girl and she's too desperate to appreciate it.” He shook his head, clicking his tongue in disapproval.

You pouted, “I'm sorry, Finnick. I'm just-" You gasped as his hand slipped in your rope, warm hand grazing the cold, hardness of your nipple. Legs rubbing together, his other hand, instantly sitting between them to hold them still.

“Speak up, angel. Just what?" That's what you appreciated so much, he was dominant, took care of you without the casual cruelty others often used. Of course he could be cruel in the best way, a type that still cared and knew what the line was and respected it.

“Need you, please. So, so bad." Your hands grabbed his shoulders, then the sides of his neck desperately trying to feel more of his warmth.

He hummed condescendingly, “You do?" His hand left your breast to the toe of the robe which he slowly unknotted. You nodded, brows furrowed as you tried to buck your hips. The hand prevented your legs from getting closer together, hitting your inner thigh but not in a forceful manner. “Come on sweet girl, can't you behave for me, won't you be my good girl?" His ocean eyes had you nodding along mindlessly. “Words."

“Yes, please, I just, please I need more."

“So needy." The knot on your robe untied, falling open to reveal you to the crisp air. His hand trailing down to where you needed him most, the feeling already sending shocks through your body. You wanted desperately to buck your hips up once again but resisted. He chucked, “Is this all for me? I haven't even really touched you yet." You nodded desperately, the teasing made you want to cry in desperation. Which was fine, but thinking about it scared you, the way they'd taken away two things that were so natural, so personal would distract you.

“Finnick." You said shakily and the time instantly made his face get serious.

“Are you okay? Do we need to stop?" You shook your head vigorously.

"No, just-” Your fingers fiddled with the blanket, embarrassed, "Can you just take some deep breaths with me?”

"Of course, my love.” He grabbed the hand nervously moving around the blankets to hold it to his heart. “You're okay, in and out with me, angel." You closed your eyes, breathing with him, his heart reverberating through you. “Let me know when you want to keep going or stop." He whispered.

“Finnick, I just want to cry, not in a bad way just it's been so, so ruined for me." Weaponized, sexualized.

He nodded, “You can cry if you want, I'll wipe them away from you." The idea made you want to cry at his sweetness alone.

“Okay." Your voice was shaky, “We can keep going, please." His fingers began moving again, right over your core. Palm slightly running against you and it took all of you to not rub with him. Fingers delicately circling your sensitive nub and you moaned out. The first tears falling which he diligently wiped away with his time and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Is that good?" You nodded blissfully and he swatted at your bareness causing a yelp.

“Yes, thank you Finnick, so good."

“Good girl, such a fast learner." You whimpered, toes curling. “What do you need?"

“In me, please."

“What, my fingers?" He held one hand up, moving them in front of your face. The man was mocking you, he knew what you meant and he kept rubbing your clit, making it nearly impossible to keep verbalizing.

“No!" You stammered out desperately. He smirked and removed his fingers from your bundle of nerves, causing you to hit his arm in frustration before he was grinding his clothed member on you and your hands wrapped around his shoulder tightly. You nodded intently, “Yes please. Want you to be inside of me, want to be one Finnick, yours." It hit you that this was the consummation of your marriage which made your heart swell as well as your need.

“Can't deny you anything, sweet girl." He was such a liar, but right now he followed through. Your hands began pulling down the pants he wore, desperate to free him so he could be buried in your walls. He groaned as your hand grazed his tip, precum dotting it. You licked your lips and he smirked cockily, “Another time, angel."

"How do you want me?” You asked, you'd take him anyway he wanted just to be clenched around him.

"Just the way you are is perfect, wanna see you, beautiful.” He lined himself up with your soaked entrance, "Are you sure, you're ready? Don't need more preparation.” You shook your head vigorously, pushing yourself forward to feel the tip and he grunted.

“Don't need it, so wet, I can take you, promise."

"Only if you're sure.” You nodded again, pouting.

"Please!” You whined and with that he didn't hold back, pushing his full length in and you nearly screamed. Clenching your walls around him, fingernails digging into him.

“That feel good?"

“So, so, so good." You began sliding your hand down, but he caught it tutting in disapproval.

"I've got you, angel, just lay there like a good girl. Let me take care of you too, you're making me feel so good.” His expert fingers went straight back to your clit as he began pounding in and out of you.

“Oh God, Finnick!" Your eyebrows pulled together and eyes snapped shut as he filled you. It was like you were a perfect fit for each other.

“So perfect angel, just looking at you made me think I wasn't even gonna make it into you." Finnick groaned, he knew exactly what you liked, what pace to go. You'd been so used to faking it or them not caring at all, but with him he could get you there so fast, so hard, and could do it over and over so perfectly. His fingers rubbing into your bundle of nerves that had you biting into your bottom lip to stop you from waking the whole floor. Both actions made you want to scream in ecstacy. “Are you close already, angel? Do I really make you feel like that, so fast?” You nodded, dumbly making mindless noises as his hips thrusted in and out. “Me too. I don't know how you do it to me. Where do you want me, stomach, mouth, inside?" His groaning was making his own speech shaky.

“Inside please, need to feel it, Finnick."

“You sure?" He asked, biting down on his bottom lip as your moans from his skilled fingers working their magic as he kept moving inside of you made him even closer.

“Yes, yes, yes, need to be one, just you and me. Need it inside." He pinched the bundle of nerves lightly as he hit the spot inside of you that had you kicking your feet on sheets. “I'm gonna, oh I'm gonna-"

“I know, just wait a little bit longer, angel, I'm almost there. So close, be my good, good girl." You whined, nodding.

“Wanna be so good for you."

He nodded, the words bringing him even closer to the edge as he roughly thrusted into you. “You are, so good, just gotta hold back a little longer." You were sobbing, lost in the high as he wiped away the tears streaming down.

“Feels so good, Finnick, I can't please let me, need to."

“Wait." He said sternly, at this point he felt like he was denying himself too just to watch you squirm and listen to his every word. Grabbing your face softly so your eyes were trained on him, hand still rubbing fast circles on your clit. “Been such a good girl, don't ruin it." His hips started stuttering inside of you.

You shook your head, “I won't, I'm sorry. Wanna be good." He let go of your face with his free hand and pinched your nipple. “Finnick, please, I can't. Please don't be mean, I need you.”

"Making me feel so good, my love. Clenching around me, trying to hold back, you're such a good listener." He pinched your clit again, he was being mean, he couldn't deny it but the way you cried out and started trying to push away from him was bringing him straight to the edge. “Color?"

“Green." You choked out, “Please, Finnick, I can't." Your hands pushed against his chest.

"Then you know what to say, angel." He raised an eyebrow, “So you can." It would feel so much better, be so much harder for both of you the longer he kept this up. His lips attached to your breast and you tugged his hair, he moaned onto you and the vibrations had you desperately trying to fend off the orgasm approaching.

“Please, I need to. I know you are too." He thrust into that special spot in you again and your hands hit the sheets in frustration as your eyes fluttered.

“Be patient, don't be a brat." He pulled away from your breast to look at you. He pressed down on your clit and thrust into you again, “Oh god, gonna let go inside of you now, angel. Be all over your walls, gonna feel so good. Been such a good girl, you ready to let go of me."

“Yes, please!"

“You can let go, sweet girl." His lips pressed to yours to quiet both of you moans as you finally both let yourself go. You could've sworn the way his split inside you made your shaking even harder. It was so good, so worth it.

You were nearly breathless when you pulled away, “That was new."

“Are you okay?" He asked, eyes full of concern.

“Yeah, of course. I just, you're always incredible, I'm great.” You laughed breathlessly.

"Oh, good.” He let out the breath he didn't know he was holding.

“Thank you."

“You don't have to thank me, angel."

“Yes I do, they've taken so much of both of us and you just bring so much of it back to just being so real, so it doesn't feel like they own it anymore."

“That's just being a decent human, I just want to take care of you. Through all the ups and downs." He was so kind, it made you ecstatic that for as long as either of you were alive you'd always be one with each other, bonded through everything you loved. “Come on, we have another long day tomorrow, let's get cleaned up."

“What if we just didn't go, just laid here together, until it passed."

“I'd love to." His eyes were earnest and like pools you could drown in, “Nothing I want more than being with you forever. But they'd drag us out and we have things to do, my love.” He helped lift you up from where you lay comfortably. Your nose scrunched up." What?”

You pulled apart your thighs, "So sticky.”

He laughed before he could stop himself, "Well I'm not the one who asked for it.” That smug, loveable ass.

"Shut up, you loved it.” Softly shoving his arms as you went to stand.

He raised his arms in defense, "Guilty as charged."

He was so perfect, the way he was so effortlessly funny, so compassionate for all your needs even if you didn't verbalize them, how patient he was yet so stern and guiding. Much too good for what you could give him, you'd go to hell and back to do half as much as he did for you. Of course he always assured you of all you did to help him, but it felt so miniscule compared to what he did for you. The things you would sacrifice to help him, to be by his side were unmatched.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

thank you so much for reading!! I haven't written smut in so long and this really isn't a smut heavy series but I felt like exploring how what snow did to the victors who were deemed to be desirable would effect their intimacy and sometimes a little spice is needed to deal with all the angst I write. if you enjoyed it feedback is always appreciated, likes, comments, reblogs, anything and my ask box is already open if you have any questions or ideas! thank you all so much for reading 💋

taglist: @imaegonstargaryenswife0 @avoxrising @artsyaquarium @jennaaaaaaaaaaaa @secretsicanthideanymore @darlingsoulbeautfulthoughts @thatonegayloser616 @kybermp3 @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @ravensinthedaylight @innercreationflower @uhnanix @aesthetic0cherryblossom @yourdailymemedelivery

[artist-beetle]

I come bearing doodle gifts that no one except for me asked for: MORE SMOKEDTIGERWOLF

First sketchbook pieces to get their vibe down.

I still in fact hate the cheese boys' fuckass hoods.

I know they only make sense in CRA but I will die with these three and the dynamic they could have. Like oh yeah a probably wild spice that has trust and identity issues because of his beastly form? Throw that fucker to a man that tames beasts with his powers and has a savior complex as well as a woman that wants to see a beast go apeshit and sees only courage in utilizing the strength one has.

Also, I know werewolf would die in the heat those two live in. Now, random doodles!

And finally more of their individual dynamics with each other.

Honestly, once I finish off Change Requires Abundance, I'd be down to do a parallel/side story with these three because they also spin in the microwave of my brain.

[hahaharumi]

coming back on here in my school induced hiatus to crashout (once again) about llorumi and how almost everyone dismisses their relationship as abusive without looking deeper into it,, sure she’s certainly not the most mentally stable character and she has her own plethora of issues, and i’m not saying everyone has to love the ship!!!!! i just wish majority of the fandom didn’t outright hate on them as much as they do.

most don’t realize the gravity of the fact that she was very young with no support system to healthily recover from her parents’ death and no way of working through/understanding her emotions. she pushes everyone away-- you can see that w/ hutchins and maybe even the higher ranking s.o.g. members. she grew to resent the image of the ninja she had in her head, and throughout the series, she spirals and comes up with ways to keep that image consistent to herself, despite their actions (mainly lloyd’s) proving her totally wrong!! part of this is probably due to some envy towards lloyd, someone who has a family to run back to when things get tough. someone who gets praise while she gets forgotten. in conclusion; she really is like a jade--one of the hardest, toughest stones, formed in conditions of high pressure.

speaaaking of lloyd:: he has a raging savior complex. he's trusting to a fault, someone who sees the good and potential in everyone before all else. the harumi he knew was so delicate and nurturing, so different from the quiet one persona that he wrongfully assumes they can't coexist. we see this in crystallized as well as her appearance in prime empire, he tries to convince himself that the "good harumi" is the real one. he's been weaned on the idea of perfect villains and heroes, so when someone who's in the gray area comes his way, he hopes for the latter.

that's (parts of) their individual characters, but how do they work as a couple?? from the outside, it doesn't seem possible. one deceives while the other believes-- except not really. theyre not just their archetypes. harumi isn't just the vengeful bitch with a heart of stone who acts without reason. all she does is (subconciously) protect herself, a defense mechanism to keep her from realizing the fact that the ninja weren't at fault for her trauma. nobody directly wanted this-- and that is what scares her. lloyd isn't just the golden boy whose all-forgiving nature rivals that of Jesus Himself. like harumi, he can be a piece of shit to those who warrant it, and at one point, she really did.

their similarities, in not only their personalities but also lives, make them understand eachother-- which is ultimately what makes me love them so much. under all the anger and built-up hate is understanding. harumi understands what lloyd can take, and always stays there. lloyd understands the rough conditions in which her walls were built. they both have grown to know the parts of themselves they conceal from others, the ugly sides nobody else can see. for harumi, it's her soft side. for lloyd, it's the opposite. the side that's like his father.

tldr; theyre the perfect example of enemies AND lovers, a shining beacon of hope for the girls who feel like a liability, and also peak fiction. (plus i like how they, as a ship, really reflect one of the first morals of ninjago-- "the best way to defeat your enemy is to make them your friend.")

[remnantsofthefallen]

Alrighty guys you know what time it is:

BOOM character analysis! Today we are doing 2012 Leo

Requested by @luna1star10

Ok, so I feel like there’s definitely a lot to unpack here so I’m starting off strong.

From the very beginning of the series, it’s shown how my guy is just put in the spotlight time after time. And throughout the show he’s pushed into the role of ‘the strong leader’.

Leo prides himself in sticking as close to splinter’s teachings as possible, everyone knows this. Leo tries to shield the others. He constantly worries about his brothers getting hurt, and does his best as leader. And it hurts him when the others don’t listen, because there’s always the possibility that something could’ve happened to them. He clings to the guidelines set out for him because that’s all he has to go off of.

He makes plans for missions, plans that will always have the same predictable outcome, because he wants it to, Plans and order bring him comfort, because if everything goes according to plan, nobody gets hurt.

Deep down he’s terrified of not being good enough, of not being the leader and brother his team needs. He prioritizes others before himself, leading to occasional emotional outbursts during arguments (trust me I know from experience). Leo protects first, and feels later.

He’s scared that if he feels something, if he lets his emotions get in the way, then his team will get hurt. That’s why when he feels challenged for his spot of control (mostly by Raph) he gets upset. Because obviously Raph doesn’t think like he does. Raph doesn’t plan, Raph just lets his emotions control him.

In general: 2012 Leo is a bundle of anxiety, self worth issues, a savior complex, daddy issues, and unhealthy coping mechanisms all wrapped up with an ‘eldest daughter syndrome’ ribbon.

Srry bro I was nearly finished with this like a month ago but then it got deleted and I had to start over 😭😭😭😭

[postersofleon]

SEVEN

Leon had issues and you understood them. Tied in a world where he couldn't even trust his own government, where bioweapons are a common thing and mistrust is common. Breaking up with an alcoholic with the best option to have. However, when time passes, Chris decides to bring you to help with Leon's current crisis. When he sees you, he is ready to give endless promises now. Seven days to win you back.

notes: i maybe like pathetic men but healing is hotter. inspired by jungkook's seven. no assigned race to reader but afab and she/her pronouns for them. EDIT! um, future chapters will have smut

monday: loving you

tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday

Being an agent wasn't made for you. You spend nearly twelve years training your body, scars had now decorated your body- it wasn't fair that your life was dominated by the cruelty of the world. When Wesker died, you hoped and prayed to any living god that this was over, but it was a useless dream. And with what happened in your last mission. You were tired. You woke with night terrors and your boyfriend wasn't doing so hot either. All the way from Raccoon City, his mind was still traumatized by seeing death that Ada Wong became his worry. He needed to protect her despite her being able to do it herself.

You weren't jealous. No matter how many people warned you should, and trusting Leon didn't bring horrible consequences. That was until Leon pointed a gun on Chris.

No offense, but Ada wasn't worth making your life worse in the government's eyes. There was an uneasy silence now. Even Helena noticed it.

You couldn't date him. His drunkness was getting into a dangerous issue, and now his sense of what's wrong or right. You liked Ada. But unfortunately, despite being a mercenary, she always worked for the bad people. Combining that with his saviors complex. You didn't want to be selfish. It had been years. You dated Leon for years, but right now. Especially pointing a gun to someone who was promised to always stay by their side.

You couldn't trust Leon.

But you still loved him. That was no issue. Maybe you needed to heal as well.

Two years had passed. You were still working in the DSO, but for now, as a nurse who helped the injured agents. It was a suprise when you saw Chris and Rebecca enter your lair. You took off your gloves, "What brings you two here?"

Chris gave a small smile, "Um, well, we are trying to find Leon."

Your eyebrows furrowed, "Leon? Why ask?" You threw them to the trash. Wouldn't bring Jill be a better option considering that Leon was on vacation?

Rebecca cleared her throat, "He is... hard to find."

A small laugh escaped your lips, "Always is." Your arms crossed against your chest. Chris looked a bit disappointed from your words, but Rebecca looked determined with your laugh. "You know where he is?" Your eyes touched the ground before meeting Rebecca's.

"Of course I know where he is. He sends me texts."

Chris looked up, "I thought you two broke up." You nodded your head, "Yeah, but it makes him happy to tell me where he is." And you'll be avoiding his booty calls in this conversation.

"But you need to leave him alone. He is tired." You made sure they heard those words. Leon is exhausted. He needed a break from the life given to him. You turned around and gave them your back, "Everyone deserves to take a break." Your fingers tapped on the cold metal table.

"He needs you." Chris whispered softly.

You turned around to see him, "He needs comfort." You knew Leon way too much. It hurt you to say it because it felt true. "He finds comfort in the bottle more than he did with me." It was your bitterness just approaching over and over. You sighed deeply, trying to ignore your anger.

"If you need him so badly, I'll tell you where he is," You grabbed your phone and looked through all of his texts, "Here." You showed Chris and Rebecca. "Now leave me alone." Your fingers tapped repeatedly against the table, and before you can clear your thoughts you got a message from him.

You turned around to see Rebecca and Chris. You were probably stupid thinking an alcoholic could change his ways. "I'll go."

[princessofghosts-posts]

Solangelo type of dynamic trope

Ok. It's time. Honestly? I've been waiting to post this. I thought I should have read all of ToA before doing so since I could have a better insight of them,but since someone told me that Solangelo is only present in the first and last book,I decided to not wait anymore. Because now I'm pissed about the lack of Will (and Nico) in a serie centred about Apollo and how I never got a bonding moment between them. I'm going to write it on my own,trust me.

Anyway,I saw a couple of people commenting how Solangelo isn't a healthy ship because Will is Nico's doctor and there is a powerplay here. Now,if you are familiar with romance in general,one of the main trope you can find (especially when it cames to fanfictions) is usually the CEO × secretary,where the CEO is in a superior position than the secretary that work for them. They are a figure of authority. There are a lot but this is the most common one and one of the most populars. Solangelo romantic trope technically belong to the same category.

Technically.

Because Will Solace isn't a real doctor.

You heard that right. Will isn't a real doctor,he is an healer,not a doctor. And,other than this difference,is the fact that Will is a teenager that needs to take care of the other campers because he is the only one that can do so. The Apollo Cabin is half dead,there are Kayla,Austin and Will,and Will is the only one right now that can heal someone since his siblings are more in tune with Apollo's other domains.

Will isn't a doctor,he never went to school to get a doctorate in medicine,and he never formally studied to pursue a medical career. Will gets called a doctor because even tho he is an healer,he needs to do everything (cure someone from poison,reattach limbs,give a remedy for fever,extract daggers/arrows/bullets and bandage the wounded,etc...) so calling him just as a healer is too little,since he is one man army when it came to medicine. That's why he is called a doctor. But formally? He isn't.

He is a traumatized teenager with a savior complex,a lot of self-esteem issues,high levels of stress,probably got a caffeine addiction too,with a healing power and acknowledge that keep alive a lot of other traumatized teenagers. Will is a doctor because they only have him,because there aren't real doctors at camp and older demigods are a miracle. Because he is the only one left,after the war against Kronos,that can heal them. Which is depressing by the way-

Where is the powerplay at? Will should be a figure of authority towards Nico right? Should be someone that,if he want,can mess up with his boyfriend health by giving him a bad prescription,right? Here the thing: Will has not that type of authority.

Their romance trope is in that category,but it's completely different. A CEO can fire its secretary (and it's usually happen in romance books/fanfictions) for a mistake. A teacher can give bad grade to their students if they argued. A boss can do what they want with their employees's works if they are in the mood. I can go on and on about this type of dynamic: you name it I got it.

There is also the age difference here. The figure of authority in the relationship is always a couple of years older than the one that stay under them. And that's only for normal romance tropes,if we take in consideration dark romance too....well....then the relationship are a lot mess up,from both ages and dynamics,but we are not cofusing on that.

Solangelo doesn't fall in any of this because Will doesn't have the authority to do anything. He and Nico are both teenagers that are trying to live without dying (or almost). Will himself is a person that would never use his "leverage" to hurt Nico or damage him or someone else. And Nico isn't stupid,he know that if something goes south he can protect himself. But it won't happen. Because they do not fall in that stereotype of powerplay dynamic.

Also,Nico literally used Will position as a doctor to have more leverage,and be more with him. The "mood disorder" is just a cover so he can spend more time with Will,eat with him (he also probably didn't want to eat alone because of the tables rule) and doing activities with him. He used the "doctor note" excuse to make his way into Apollo's plan because he didn't want to let Will alone because he was worried. If you need to worry about someone in this dynamic it's Nico di Angelo,not Will Solace.

If you need to pick a bone with this ship you can do better and try to make them look unhealthy because of their trope dynamic. They aren't that. And there are probably more other things you can talk about to disagree with their ship,but hating on Doctor × patient type of ship,when there are a lot of those everywhere,is stupid.

[gerbymoo]

Fanon Bucciarati: A man with a tragic backstory where he lost his family, had no choice but to join an organization that caused him the same pain but makes the best out of it by providing guidance, kindness and support to his new found family. Is willing to put his life on the line for his own beliefs and his trusted companions while understanding not everything can be fixed in a black and white sense. Is empathetic towards those who have been played a bad card in life and wants to offer them a second chance after not getting one himself. Becomes a role model for those in his life and follows through with his belief system until his demise, but with a wise mind and acceptance of how things need to be played out.

Canon Bucciarati: A man who was intensely traumatized in his childhood, influenced heavily by his father’s values and evolves into a savior complex which starts off as a positive way to cope with his loss but eventually develops into a double edged sword when faced with his unnerving reality of working for an organization that thrives off the suffering of those who are the most vulnerable (just like him). Has an immense loss of identity and slowly succumbs to complacency after years of letting things play out as they are, knowing he can put his and his teammates lives at risk if he were to do anything out of the status quo of Passione. Refer back to the theme of sleeping slaves and his own inner turmoil of being ‘dead’ while just being a cogwheel in the bigger drug trafficking system and possibly creating the same scenarios to other innocent people just like the one he was forced into. Is snapped back into his old self by a fucking 15 year old with even bigger complex trauma issues, but willing to fight against the status quo and willing to make a change for the better for himself and for everyone else who has been a victim of this organization because of his otherworldly resolve and belief system (bro has two biological dads). No wonder Bucciarati immediately hopped on board with Giorno’s plan, the man was literally begging for someone to come and make him realize that there are others who share the same sentiments as he does.

Tumblr Bucciarati: Zipper daddy

[aceof-stars]

Actually, “Feenie” Makes Perfect Sense as a Backstory for Phoenix (+ 3-1 Initial Thoughts)

I've decided to start a series where I record my thoughts and analysis as I play through the Ace Attorney games for the first time. I'll try to post these as soon as I finish a case so that my thoughts are fresh.

Phoenix Wright/"Feenie"

I've noticed critiques in this fandom that "Feenie" from Turnabout Memories is too different from Phoenix in the trilogy or that the backstory is poorly inserted. But, honestly I disagree. It's easy to treat Phoenix and Feenie as different people because of their different outfits and mannerisms, but I think the characterization is consistent (despite "Feenie" being exaggerated sometimes for comedic effect).

I've seen the fandom portray "Feenie" as a sweet pushover. But if anything, his belief is extremely stubborn and strong-willed. Phoenix believed in true love and fate which was why he accepts that necklace in the first place. He also never relents to Dahlia (or should I say Iris) when she asks for the necklace back.

He’s only able to be used and manipulated by Dahlia because his own goals and beliefs aligned with the facade she presented to him.

Phoenix literally shoves a guy so hard that he fell onto his back because he badmouthed Dahlia. I think one constant of Phoenix's character is that he cares too deeply and is protective over the people he loves.

There's also the part where Phoenix mocks Doug for being British? or wearing the British flag (I didn’t take a screenshot of it). “Feenie” is just as sassy and judgmental as Phoenix is. He might be a lot more naive and immature but he's still Phoenix.

Oh Phoenix... back when you believed in people saving you... before you bottled up your problems and refused to let anyone help you...

To be fair he is the defendant here but still. He doesn't ask for support after Edgeworth disappears, he doesn't ask for help at first when Maya is kidnapped.

I think, unfortunately, this incident with Dahlia is what kickstarted a lot of his trust and abandonment issues. His overwhelmingly strong belief and trust in Dahlia backfired in the worst way possible. It’s not a stretch that this made him too terrified of betrayal to open up to anyone in the trilogy.

So I know this is for comedic effect, but it’s also really good proof that Phoenix heavily idealizes the people he gets super attached to.

(Coughs in Edgeworth and Justice for All)

… I mean he’s not wrong! But he’s also being delusional

This is one of the first things Phoenix says after finding out he was betrayed. He doesn't spend much time acknowledging his feelings of hurt. He just goes into denial.

(COUGHS IN EDGEWORTH AND JUSTICE FOR ALL)

This is just further proof for me that Phoenix’s coping mechanisms are suppression and delusion.

And then Phoenix immediately he moves on to saving Edgeworth! He just shoves all that trauma aside to fixate on saving someone else... to cope by giving himself more control. Phoenix's savior complex stems from abandonment issues.

This trial doesn't give Phoenix the idea to save Edgeworth, it solidifies it.

After being reminded by Mia of his belief that a defense attorney saves people, Phoenix firmly sets himself on this path.

There it is. Phoenix says it himself... he suppressed these memories. That's why he never brought it up in the last two games. I know the real reason is because the creators didn’t plan it, but it also makes sense narratively.

I mean, Phoenix hides the class trial story until Turnabout Goodbyes. This man does not like to talk about his problems or trauma.

Mia Fey

Damn Mia is so brutal. Is this where Phoenix gets his sass from?

Mia is also not how I expected her to be. I mean whenever she gets channeled to help Phoenix out, she's in the role of the wise mentor. But here? She's a nervous wreck, cynical of romance, and full of trust issues.

Speaking of trust issues... I unfortunately did not take a screenshot of this but as soon as Mia finds out Phoenix has lying to her, she reacts very strongly with distrust. She also has to convince herself multiple times to trust in him again. Believing in people or trusting them doesn't seem to come easy to Mia. Which is super interesting because her advice is to always believe in your client. Maybe Mia eventually got used to trusting her clients but... she also never tells Phoenix about her investigation in Redd White. I don't think Mia is as trusting as she presents herself as.

[wendichester]

𓂃˖ ࣪ 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔟𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔶 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤

˚₊‧꒰ა @melwnst ☆ dean winchester ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ⋆˙⟡ where leo, virgo, cancer meets aquarius, leo*, saggitarius. ⟡˙⋆

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐

ꔛ. meeting each other,

✧ who you are in the supernatural world .ᐟ

you’re the girl in the shadows who knows too much and says too little. with virgo mercury, mars, and jupiter, you’re a strategist. quiet. methodical. too observant for your own good. you probably started out as a civilian, but fate had other plans. something came for your family, and you did what no one expected: you survived and learned. now? you're a hunter, but not the typical kind. *you don't just shoot—*you know. you read runes like bedtime stories. you stitch your own wounds. your cancer moon + venus + lilith make you hauntingly soft but feral when pushed. you are human… but dangerously close to something else. the veil likes you. spirits whisper in your sleep.

✧ what he's like .ᐣ

reckless savior complex with daddy issues and the voice of an outlaw angel. aquarius sun + mars makes him unpredictable and stubborn as hell. sagittarius moon + venus? freedom-loving, emotionally avoidant, secretly philosophical. his leo rising + jupiter + lilith make him the guy everyone notices. charming. loud. magnetic. but lonely in the way that feels ancient. he loves like it’s a war and he’s losing. flirts like it’s armor. feels like he’s drowning, even when he’s laughing.

✧ first meeting + first impression

classic: a bar. not so classic? you're already hunting something. he thinks you’re just another hot girl with sad eyes and secrets, but then you clock the same shapeshifter he’s been tracking for three days—and kill it with a silver bullet you crafted yourself. his first impression? “holy shit, she’s hot. and terrifying.” second thought? “i might actually like her. fuck.”

ꔛ. friendship compatibility,

✧ how it'd begin ...

a forced team-up. he doesn’t trust you at first—you’re too quiet, too smart, too in control. but then you save his ass mid-hunt, and you patch him up without saying a word, just wrap the bandage tight and press your lips into a firm line. he hates that he starts watching your hands instead of the road. he brings you pie the next day. it starts there.

✧ the friendship dynamic

loud arguments. late-night drives. teasing that feels like flirting even when it's not. you call him out. he brings you back when you spiral. you talk with your eyes. he listens with his hands.

✧ quirks + fun things

you both secretly hoard classic rock on vinyl he pretends not to care when you organize his trunk, but leaves it that way you make fun of his movie choices and he gets weirdly defensive about it

ꔛ. romantic compatibility,

✧ are you compatible .ᐣ first steps .ᐣ

yes. yes, yes, painfully yes—but not without struggle. your cancer placements want security. his sag + aqua energy screams don't tie me down. your virgo mercury and mars demand clarity. he gives vibes and smirks and emotional constipation. so guess what? you make the first move. because you get sick of him looking at you like he wants to devour you but never acting on it. it happens in the middle of a motel argument. “just say it,” you snap. “say what?” he growls. so you kiss him. hard. he never pulls away.

✧ the relationship dynamic

messy. magnetic. full of friction and fire. you argue a lot. about stupid things. but underneath it? there's this devotion so raw it could gut you both. he tries to keep it casual. he fails. you want him to open up. he does—in pieces. but the sex? earth-shattering. the loyalty? terrifying. the love? realer than either of you know what to do with.

✧ love languages ♡

him physical touch (he shows love by brushing your hand, carrying you to bed) acts of service (he fixes things you didn't ask him to fix) gifts (stupid little things—lighter fluid, a new knife, a motel key)

you acts of service (you fix his car. you patch his wounds.) words of affirmation (but only when you're sure he won’t laugh) quality time (doing research together, falling asleep mid-hunt)

ꔛ. scenario ⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ friends and lovers

as friends, you’re the only one who doesn’t let him get away with deflecting. you call out the self-hatred. you stay when it’s ugly. he brings you gas station snacks and looks at you like you’re magic. you laugh. a lot. especially when you’re not supposed to. as lovers, you are a storm of contradictions that somehow create peace. you meet during a hunt. stay together out of necessity. fall for each other in motel rooms and emergency rooms. you argue over directions and lore. you wake up tangled in limbs and grief. you stay together by learning how to fight for each other instead of against. you keep him human. he keeps you brave. there are no promises. just "i'm not going anywhere tonight" whispered into collarbones, again and again, until you both start to believe it.

ꔛ. overall ゛ ⸝⸝.ᐟ⋆ 9.2 / 10

this is the kind of love that feels like a fistfight and a love letter at the same time. you're both stubborn, wounded, messy—but there's so much room for growth. your softness heals the cracks in him. his fire lights something fierce in you. he’d never say it out loud, but he’d be gone for you. and once you realize he’s not running? you’d burn down the world to keep him safe.

ꔛ. navigation 𓂃˖ ࣪ all drabbles ; compatibility readings ; support my work .ᐟ

* since the birth time of dean hasn't ever been mentioned, I've placed him as a leo rising, since it's the sign that makes more sense to me.