#trying to be a good ally to aroallos

[ajaneofmanytalents]

There's an aroallo character named Zephyr in later seasons of the sci-fi show Killjoys! From my outside perspective (alloace) it seemed like they did a respectful job of handling her relationships :)

I'm going to go insane why must every single aromantic character be also asexual I know aroace people exist but if so many characters can just be ace why is there not a single fucking character who is just aromantic people are still so fucking weird about aroallos I'm screaming. oh and if a character is not in a relationship but they're sleeping around then they're just waiting for the right person to settle with!!! and if a character rejects love and their whole deal is rejecting romantic love then there will also be a small addendum that actually they don't like to have sex either. stop it stop it stop it stop it!!!! give me aroallo characters!!!!!!

[lovelessrage]

Every month there's a new resurgence of some variant of "aroallos just hate aces!", or random post about how aroallos are simply spiteful and irrational with no attempt made to bridge the gap of understanding, and it's getting old, I'll be honest. If you're not willing to listen, and you assume we're hostile by default, then how can you ever be convinced otherwise? It's genuinely a shame how common it is in aro communities to refuse to hear people out before jumping to assumption, and not just in regards to aroallos either [arospecs and both of the tail ends of the romance enjoyment slider come to mind as other common targets, as well as atertiary aros of all stripes].

I think, as much as I dislike getting preachy, of you actually want to put effort into solving the issue, if you are genuinely concerned about that rift and you have this energy in you to do something, use it to try to bridge the gap. I'm tired, I'll admit it, but I know there's people who aren't and they're worried. Put that worry to action. Come at it as an ally, not on the offense; people are more likely to hear you out and talk about it when they aren't coming into it having to defend themselves and their community.

Please, please listen and ask questions before you assume bad faith, before you assume an attack. We all have biases to look at [that includes why you assume someone is immediately an aggressor, or why you assume someone else is more worth listening to], and clearing the air might do some good.

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Re: aspec headcannons

I strongly believe that two of my favorite blorbos are aspec (specifically arospec):

The first is Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (minor spoiler warning for this paragraph). Most Zelda games' iterations of Link can easily be read as aspec-coded in some way, but Twilight Princess's emphasis on Link's relationships made his lack of romance really stand out and resonate with me as an aromantic. Over the course of the game, we see countless instances of him caring deeply about the people around him, friends and strangers alike. This is so prominent that it's honestly a defining trait of his; he even stands out from his other iterations in just how much he's a Guy Who Cares. Yet for all his personal and emotional investment in people, there is a striking lack of romance in his relationships, much to my delight. Instead, his relationships are founded on his caring nature. The best example of this is his friendship with Midna. Introduced near the beginning of the game and serving as Link's companion until the very end, Midna initially establishes a very transactional relationship with Link; a sort of "I help you, you help me" dynamic. At that point, she is closed off to Link and confides very little in him, while Link probably isn't thrilled with her demeaning treatment of him or how much she asks of him, but puts up with it anyway out of the goodness of his heart. They're reluctant allies. However, they gradually come to respect each other as Link's kindness and courage inspire Midna, and Midna's disparaging behavior slowly gives way to benign, endearing snark. Before long, when Midna is brought within an inch of her life, and Link carries her off in search of help (because of course he would), he does so with desperation, dashing frantically on foot across Hyrule's vast fields in the dead of night, worried for the acquaintance he had only just begun to appreciate, having seen her grow over the course of their adventure. That experience—Link fearing losing Midna, and Midna having her life saved by Link—brings them closer than ever. After Midna recovers, the two are best friends. She eventually opens up to Link about her identity, past, and insecurities, and Link is understanding of her plight and committed to stay by her side through everything. At the end of the game, Midna's plotline is resolved, and she prepares to return to her realm. Never to see each other again, she and Link share a heartfelt goodbye. Common tropes would have them be lovers by this point, and lament being torn away from their soulmate. Instead, Nintendo gave us something that's a precious rarity in media: a bittersweet ending for a pair of dear friends.

The other is Big Boss from the Metal Gear series. I haven't finished every game he makes an appearance in yet, but as far as I can tell, he never has any explicitly romantic relationships. However, he does have a wide range of other kinds of relationships. Plenty are sexual, plenty are platonic, and plenty are... something else. Furthermore, there are certain details throughout the series that, from my perspective, give him strong aro vibes. For example, in Metal Gear Solid 3, he is asked about the nature of his relationship with another character, in terms of an amatonormative false dichotomy. His response is "Does it have to be one or the other?" In Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, there's a sexual dynamic between him and another character, which I would describe as "brothers-in-arms with benefits." In Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, Big Boss's relationships are pretty much all based on his desperation to hold on to the people he still hasn't lost yet. His relationships don't take on very clear forms; he's just trying to cherish the ones that are left while he still can, in whatever way he can. So yeah, I think Big Boss is aroallo, and that's pretty cool.

^^^^