#trying to get better at perspective stuff and really push my shapes!

[cherishedproperty]

A Submissive Origin Story

Most of the time when people ask what made me submissive, I shrug and say it’s just who I am. I don’t believe that submission inherently comes from somewhere; sometimes it’s just who we are.

But lately I’ve been working through a lot, trying to get to a mentally healthier version of myself. I’ve been thinking about the high expectations placed on me as a child and the stressful environment around me. My dad in particular was emotionally unpredictable. He could come home in a great mood, then lecture us for an hour over some small turn of phrase he didn’t like. And as the eldest daughter (yes yes, I fulfill ALL the stereotypes), he was particularly hard on me. I remember in 2nd grade, I brought home a spelling test and was proud that I got a 99%. My dad lectured me for more than half an hour about how I can do better. This is one example of many. A few years ago, my dad told me, “I never had to spank you or anything. I learned early on with you that all I had to do was make you feel like a disappointment. That always worked. And look how successful you are now.” His intentional parenting philosophy was to cause me psychological pain. Thanks, Dad.

And listen, I know it’s all fucked up. I know he was wrong to do all that. That’s why I parent very differently, and why I chose people to coparent with me who would parent differently. But it did shape me. It still does. All of this made me a person who can read people really well and take the perspectives of others. I know what people want and how to cater to their feelings, because I had to. It made me a more effective communicator because I always needed to choose my words carefully before I opened my mouth. It made me an overachiever—yes, very successful, but also someone who feels I have to work twice as hard as a normal person to have a chance at being good enough. Someone who thinks giving 100% means giving until I legitimately can’t anymore. Someone who needs clarity and validation, because I starved for it with him.

Lately I’ve been processing all this and also working through a present day set of issues with my dad. So all of this has been very much on the surface.

Then a few weeks ago, I was getting ready for bed one night, and it was very clear Monsieur wanted sex. Had been thinking about sex all day. Had the toys all laid out. And my brain was just…not there. But I didn’t say no. Didn’t even tell him where my head was at. And unsurprisingly, things didn’t go well for either of us. I was thinking about it after, and I had this epiphany.

I didn’t say no because some part of me deep down believes that if I say no, he won’t love me anymore.

In my conscious mind, I don’t believe that at all. Monsieur is one of the most unconditionally loving people I’ve ever been with. But what I realized is, no matter how many good things I do as a partner, I feel like all of that gets washed away by one wrong step. Because that’s what has happened in the past. Perfection is the minimum standard.

It got me thinking that maybe this is why I find such comfort in a D/s relationship. I know exactly what the parameters are and what it looks like to be a good partner. The rules and expectations are explicit, and the feedback is clear. Do good girl things, get good girl head pats. Basically, I know exactly what it takes to get an A+ in my relationship, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

It also made me wonder if this is part of why I haven’t been feeling as submissive lately. I have a partner who truly sees me—all of me—and accepts me. He loves me not in spite of my quirks, but because of them. And every time I get down on myself because I didn’t do XYZ and I don’t feel good enough, he tells me what a wonderful partner I am and recounts all the good stuff I bring to his life. Clarity and validation. Unconditional love. And maybe it’s because I’m so confident in his love that I can finally stop forcing myself to push through when it’s not good for me.

There have certainly been times in the past when I have pushed myself to submit to a Dominant when it wasn’t good or comfortable for me. I prided myself on being able to give even when I had nothing left. And I often got the good girl pats and validation, which made it all feel worth it. But the validation didn’t replenish me; it just made being empty feel a little less bad.

I don’t say all of this to make D/s seem dysfunctional or inherently bad in some way. I know many people in healthy D/s relationships. And I don’t actually think that my submission is just a product of all this insecurity and need for validation; I’ve had submissive feelings for as long as I can remember.

But I do think my past has shaped the kinds of D/s I pursue and how I conduct myself in those dynamics. For example, it shapes my difficulty safewording because I don’t want to be a disappointment. Even though my partner has done nothing but praise me when I safeword. Even though I’ve seen the negative consequences of my failure to safeword when I should have.

So here’s where I’m at with all of this: I need to understand where my submission comes from a dysfunctional place so I can move forward to build a healthy, soul-nourishing dynamic with my partner. I’m not sure what it looks like yet, but I do believe it’s possible.

[velvetvexations]

i feel like the sentiment of ‘human shields’ or ‘you should be able to use slurs (“theyfab” the one im thinking of) against a group that (you perceive as) your oppressors’ comes from like. a flow chart way of thinkin

it really isn’t math. certain women (as broad and vague as the group can be defined) absolutely have power over certain men sometimes. race is one of the main ones, but like, off the top of my head there’s also age, disability, and certain authority or workplace positions. i would even include as small as a community as like, a gathering of friends to whom ive just invited a new person. the new person is statistically gonna be shyer or more prone to being pushed out. of course there are always a million modifiers, a million past and future happenings that shape someone and may or may not add to their “power meter” (if such a thing is real and operates like a meter) but being any specific identity is not going to be the sole driving factor of all interactions, especially in micro communities with their own standards.

i guess what im trying to say is that the claim that one is oppressed in every situation due to their identity and therefore any bullying towards others of one identity just counts as ‘pushing the needle’ is disingenuous. it is much more comfortable to feel like the ‘beaten down person who is just lashing out against their attackers’ without realizing that those attacks do hurt because some of those people may in fact be just as powerless as you (not you, velvet!! example you)

Flowchart anon: forgor to mention, or course own identity can be impactful and everyone knows better than a stranger how they’ve been affected by their identity, but also I think it’s possible to harness power even when you don’t know it, or unfortunately don’t approach people that way

it's wild too because the slurs get explained away as being like Black people saying cracker and a White person telling a non-binary person of color you should get to call them slurs because they're like White people to them is wild on it's own but like

have you

EVER

seen a Black person go to the fucking mat on a daily basis for 'cracker' like TRFs do th**yfab?

Yes, obviously, Black people have regularly argued with disingenuous idiots about it all the time. But have you ever seen Black activists, out doing serious, important work, fiercely argue every single day against a massive horde of White people telling them not to? I'm not even saying that a Black person can necessarily say the word cracker without ten White people popping off in the replies. But how often do they get replied to? And how much of those White people are trying to get through that it sincerely hurts them, and not just claiming it's rhetorically hypocritical?

Because from the TRF perspective it feels like "no but we should get to use this insulting word for other people and if not you're literally killing us!" is like, the major discussion to be having! I've talked a lot before about how even I, someone massively triggered by things outside of intercommunity stuff, somehow manage to bring those issues up more than TRFs do with their incessant focus on the perceived transmisogyny of other trans people, but good Lord. Even if it WERE okay and justified, it's so obvious they care about their sacred right to be aggressive towards other people over literally anything that will ever actually help a single trans woman.

They're exploiting the concept of "punching up" to be mindlessly cruel to another group of marginalized people. And frankly that should be insulting on it's own. Even if you did buy into the explanation that the word was coined by trans women mad about some non-binary people scabbing for Wymyn's Warped Tour,* they're seriously saying that's the equivalent of centuries of enslavement and violent terror? Like yeah, God, remember that time some th**fabs got to watch a bunch of cis women play acoustic guitar while reciting bad poetry and I didn't? That was exactly like a burning cross in the yard warning me to not vote.

*AND IT FUCKING WASN'T

[pigeonstab]

Do you have any advice/recommendations/tips to improve drawing anatomy? I’m working to better my art and you’ve lowkey inspired me to upgrade my skills! You’re very talented and I love your art so much that I could eat with a side of ketchup anyday fr lmao🙏🏾💖🌸

aww!! Thank you, I'm glad.

I had the help of pinterest tutorials mostly, so I'd look there first. Lots of study and practice are what do the trick.

For me learning anatomy was a lot of just having fun drawing characters until I felt compelled to learn to draw better. Try to push yourself to draw the things you like better (drawing for the sake of practice is awesome sure but let's be real drawing stuff you like is where you're more likely to give it your all)

I naturally kind of took it step by step? (this is hard to teach lol seeing as I'm self taught and didn't really know how the journey would go) I think in terms of difficulty you have proportions, posing and hardest is perspective, which I'm still trying to learn to do lol. I think focusing on the first steps first and foremost gives good bases that allow you to dip into the steps above. If that makes sense. Once you have an okay grip on proportions you can try posing, and once you have that for posing you can try perspective. (I still struggle with getting the proportions on the first try but a lot of it is about having an understanding of how things are supposed to look, rather than the skill of drawing itself. Now I know how to correct it)

Otherwise for concrete advice (and this one goes for drawing anything ever, not just anatomy) you need to break things down into shapes. Based mostly on what moves in a body.

[choco-worms]

Could you show your sketching process? Like what base skeletons you use for the characters to make it so dynamic? Maybe using cuddy x cameron or hilson :)

Of course!! This is going to be long winded so Ill put this under the cut hahah

Im gonna follow my process chronologically with a few of my works to explain my different approaches!

HILSON

So especially for poses including two people i often use an app on my phone called "Magic Poser". This helps me understand the perspective and scale of the characters a bit better since this is something I struggle with. So ill take the models and pose them how I want them. What this app REALLY helps me with light sources since that is customizable too^^

So then I enter a phase where I am studying the pose. For this drawing I did it traditionally. first thing i do is break down the figures volumetrically, which is a figure drawing method where you break down the figure into simple box like forms. This helps me gain an understanding of how the shapes are interacting with space.

After that, I draw over the forms adding things like hair and clothes and building the specific face/body shapes of the character.

I do also use the little "circles" to mark joints when im drawing fast!

After that I scan the pencil sketch I do into Krita, and follow my work to get some lineart!.

CAMCUDDY

This one was a similar process, but i ported the reference image straight into my drawing program.

After that i do a volumetric sketch over the reference to break it down.

And then i do a more creative pass where i make these boxy dolls look more like the characters im trying to draw!

from there i do a final line art pass, and then i sit back..... and stare at it..... because even though model references SEEM fool-proof there are often things that just dont look right! Its really important to remember to not use those kinds of references as gospel, it should be a convenience and assistance rather than a crutch. So ill often go in and change things, either outright erasing and redrawing or using the warp tool to move stuff around! These models are only so helpful if once ur done you look at the drawing and it just looks straight doo doo lol.

FREESTYLE

While I do use models alot for something i want to draw really fast, its important to not rely on them! That can make your art become super rigid if you don't push yourself.

For drawings I approach without, i kinda go buck wild! Here on this one you'll see i kind of blend my volumetric phase with my detailing phase:

With these looser drawings i focus on shape and gesture. Then ill just do a final cleaning up pass for the line art.

I have a really fast and dirty drawing style that doesnt always lend itself to "perfect anatomy", but im far more concerned with visual appeal rather than realism.

Alot of the confidence I have with anatomy comes from yearssssss of drawing casually, and my classical study in college!

RESOURCES

I do really recommend some level of classical study when it comes to drawing the figure! Here are some video's on it I have watched and studied during my time in college that I really recommend:

I hope this was helpful!! haha sorry i get really nerdy about drawing process :))) If you have any additional questions let me know!

[aipurjopa]

Hi, I really like your art, just wanted to say that

I was also wondering if you have any art tips, I'm trying to get better but am struggling a bit

Also, you don't have to answer this, but what modpack do you use in the minecraft posts? I was interested in playing it but couldn't find it

have a fantastic time wherever you are!

okay, like most things, i think the best way to improve in art is to just practice as close to everyday. doesn't have to be anything big, but even a five min sketch or practicing some fundamentals helps a LOT.

But besides just plain practicing, i found at a certain point i need to be conscious about what i'm practicing. analyzing my own art for my weak points / what i wanna improve on and then dedicating a week of studies to that thing. i think a big thing isn't just blindly repeating the same thing but actively trying to push yourself forwards.

Another thing is that I started really drawing because I just liked an anime series and wanted to draw them, which meant for a while I was just imitating a style without a good understanding of the fundamentals of art. so one thing i'd also recommend is making sure you do study the fundamentals. it's sorta like in calculus where sure you can take a derivative if you know the rules but you should also understand what a derivative is and where those rules come from. if that makes sense. while i was on my little "re-learning art" stint back in like 2023, i used this playlist!

But generally speaking, i think just trying to have fun with what you're drawing is the most important. i had spikes of improvement when i got super attached to a character and just drew that character everyday lol. at least for me i tended to improve more when i was actually having fun drawing. yeah :D

I guess to recap: 1. practicing often (even if it’s just something tiny) 2. make sure you’ve learned all your basic fundamentals (shape, value, perspective, etc). it’s boring but it helps in the long run. 3. analyze your art, figure out what specific thing you want to improve on, then study it. 4. and most importantly, enjoying what you’re drawing :) i always see the most improvement when i’m just genuinely enjoying the subjects i’m drawing.

i'm not the world's best artist by far but yeah :D as for the mods, i’m not really using a specific big mod pack, it's just a couple of mods from a pack my partner made for a separate server that I tweaked a lil. I also don't know a lottt about modding so uh.

i'm using 1.20.1 and fabric 0.16.9, here's a google drive folder with a download for my modrinth profile and also a google doc with a list of all the mods. But for the stuff you see often in my posts: i'm using an mc dungeons weapons mod for all the cool weapons and customizable elytras for the elytra colors & trim.

[cupcakestreets]

Fren wants more ask game emojis??? Okay.

☕️ and 🎼 plus 📚

Yeah, dynamism is a bitch, so I don't blame you at all for getting nervous about it. Of course, the biggest change you can make is foreshortening and perspective, but that takes finding a source that can teach you in a way you understand, a lot of studying, and then trial and error. Which is worth doing, we (I'm saying this to myself too) really should study that. And it's a nightmare because first, you gotta find a source that explains the material in a way that makes sense to you, then you have to find a way to make the studying more fun and worst of all, you have to actually commit and do it. With foreshortening and dynamic posing in particular, the study can take a long while to complete because it does demand an understanding of anatomy, breaking the body down into simple volumes, applying perspective to each piece then knowing how to shade each volume correctly. So, depending on where you are with all those components, you may have to backtrack further.

So, what little changes can be made to increase dynamism in the interim? A pretty easy one is Rim Lighting, pure white is common, and so is really dropping the color values paired with a vibrant colored rim light (red, cyan, magenta are popular). Pushing the shading a bit more will help accentuate bent limbs, rotated torso's, overlapping body parts without having to go ham on foreshortening. Exaggeration of shapes like how Sonic uses big ass hands and big ass feet. Or the Big Pant Big Jackt meme and its variants from Twitter/X. You can try making frames and having feet, limbs, weapons or the top of the character's head extending past the border (typically the more, the better because if it's too little, it reads as a mistake than a choice). Line weight variation is pretty easy (thicker lines towards the shadows, thinner towards light source). Or extending certain lines past the outline and into the shape to create a more 3D look. While the whole trend of "fixing" other artist's art is controversial, one good thing I've learned from watching a few vids is the idea of using the Liquify tool on a finished piece to exaggerate the line of action on something a bit too static.

I hope you don't mind the ramble. If you're interested, I can send you a link to some vids or my playlist of tutorials I've saved.

Spice.

☕ Do you do warmup sketches before drawing? (Bonus: do you have any to share?)

No I do not do warm up sketches i just get straight into it usually. So no bonus sketches but he's a doodle page of my robot oc L-11AC

🎼 Your favorite music to draw to right now?

Future Funk music! It keeps me awake and i can groove~

📚 How many layers do you typically use?

Max i use is 50 layers, but i think i use 20-30 layers daily

Also thank you for comments too! These are literally all the things i think about. Still i do try to teach myself new stuff when i can

[pinyatapix]

art tutorial alignment chart

(my honest opnion)

personal alignment explanations below (warning looooooooong)

drawabox's got that lawful good aura to me. promising great improvement through a more rigid less flowy kinda drawing (boxes boxes boxes) yeah that's kinda lawful good ig. kinda resource for those who care for their drawings to look more accurate to perspective and proportion than just straight up wingin it dont have much to say about sinix. he's peak. he gets that neutral good label from me. morpho books by themselves would prooobably be lawful good (but less rigid more flowy) but i gave em the chaotic good label because that's the feel i get from the morpho fans themselves, who all preach about the greatness these books hold within their small thin compact travel sizes. it's partially because they're one of the very few books that actually teach about body fat (which is... kinda concerning if you really think about it. body fat is weirdly scarce among regular art tutorial books despite it having as much importance in the body as muscle and bone) and i put draw like a sir here because he himself has that chaotic good vibe. he teaches stuff (especially for beginners) REALLY well in a super easy to grasp manner and isn't afraid to be a bit humorous in his videos bob ross's pick is a lil weird, but lemme try to explain. his videos feel less like tutorials and more like... meditation i guess??? and i mean that's fine i guess. less for learning and more for unwinding by drawing along. we like a chill guy. i see less people on youtube use his videos to seriously learn and more people use his videos for extremely goofy art challenges lol. neutral in terms of educational value but lawful in terms of vibes ig lavendertowne is true neutral cuz i find her kiiiiinda mid. some of her videos are fine and there's a few interesting ones but most of them are kinda boring, there's better more interesting ones out there with similar subjects, especially on tutorials. bluebiscuit is also true neutral but a tier above lavendertowne. she's fine i dont hate her i guess her tutorials are nice for newbies and pretty accessible but still. there's videos with the same subjects as hers that i think are way better and more extensive ig true neutral (derogatory) and true neutral (affectionate) ethan becker, holy shit is this man chaotic neutral, both in personality and manner of teaching. he teaches some hyper-specific and potentially really useful skills for drawing anatomy and shape construction in a very simplified way (use the weirdly shaped triangle for everything) BUT the way he teaches it... god, he does it in the most drill-sergeant, nitpicky, push-you-down insults and spits on you kinda manner ever that it's actually kinda hard to actually retain the information you've learned in your brain even if you still remember how it went, somehow. i'd still recommend him but only if you enjoy being a masochist. there's prolly two kinda people who leave from an ethan becker tutorial: those who learn really fucking well from him, and those who felt so ashamed and insulted by him that their art progress and motivation just dropped by an entire year. megamegamikey... i mean, i havent watched his videos, but there's a good reason why i won't. i can just tell his tutorials are only for those who wish to draw anime girl tiddy gooner stuff, and not for learning actual serious anatomy (it's on the opposite side of the morpho books on the chart for a reason), and i dont wanna learn big bazoinga shit!!! if i wish to learn booba i will learn from the most accurate least sexy boingboing sourcessss!!!!!

also if you post a video with that as the title and thumbnail there's at least one thing VERY wrong with you and i will not trust your opinions on children and women anyways kooleen is neutral evil. i don't need an introduction. when i compare myself to her i actually develop pride and confidence from it instead of shame and envy like most cases because like. i feel so SMUG being able to draw and come up with much more interesting ideas than her. i can conjure up twisted beasts and floating vistas of wandering giants and the horrors of the self and gay fish yaoi from my rich and vast mind palace. she can only conjure up basic-bitch kpop boys and girls from her vaguely racist eurocentric-beauty-standard worldview. I am BEYOND her. I am STRONGER than her. I am SMARTER and more CREATIVE than her. I am more CHARMING and FUNNY than her. I am OBJECTIVELY better than her in EVERY SINGLE WAAAYYYYYY (evil laugh)

and last but not least. i think those how to draw manga books are on the same level of "if i give this to you as a christmas present i really fucking hate you" as these things

(only how to draw manga guy that's actually kinda good is mark crilley. he's not the best but he's an alright starting point. along with morpho he's also got the only tutorial books that actually teach about drawing fat people (though only for a few pages. it's still a very kind-hearted gesture, especially since anime casts tend to lean towards super skinny so i kinda saw that he wanted those who learned his wisdom to change that lol) whhheheheenrhbefdushid i loev art

[yuribait]

claire from the start of the year vs end btw. :)

i think ive improved a lot but on small things... i think im better at drawing bodies + have a better understanding of where things go when i draw a person(/whatever)... i think the way i draw faces is better but i really need to improve on how to draw mouths + different expressions its something i dont have a good understanding on. i dont think ive improved much with colours which is another weak point of mine that i struggle with a lot. i think my lines look more confident and purposeful and i think im better at at least trying to draw things im not confident in rather than avoiding it or drawing around it as a copout. umm what else... i feel like ive gotten better at drawing hair. realising i much more enjoy making it look more realistic + that i enjoy my art looking more realistic (comparatively) in general so i want to work on that but also work on exaggerating shapes and poses and lines etc. etc.

some things i want to try and focus on next year... that stuff i already mentioned ofcourse but also really need to buckle down and focus on learning to use colour better. i want to figure out a colouring style i enjoy more as well bc i dont really enjoy the way i do it Or how it looks rn. i also want to try drawing different perspectives and more interesting looking + dynamic poses and art pieces in general. id also like to start focusing on drawing things that arent just characters as i would enjoy being able to do things like backgrounds props scenes etc. sometimes. i also really need to figure out how to draw multiple characters interacting + touching etc. and how to make it look natural/good bc it always looks stiff and awkward

i would also love to try drawing with different styles and methods (ie painting/rendering things sometimes stuff like that) bc the times i do try out different styles i enjoy it :) i need to do style studies. i also need to look at some tutorials or whatever for different digital art methods like painting which i dont really enjoy bc i can never seem to find any that i like

and i need to remember to have fun with it... i always end up trying to draw so people will think its good rather than because im enjoying it and i really need to focus on that again. and i want to draw More which i say all the time but i really do as ive said i dont draw much more than gets posted but even if i do sketches or practice more often would mean a lot to me. i really have in the last little while been much more motivated to actually start creating some of my stories that i have and while i think im still a long way away from being in a position where i would feel confident starting i want to start doing things that are pushing me in the right direction and alot of this here is doing that (along with practice writing and stuff but thats a big different thing). well i dont know what else to say. goodbye

[cheshire-shuntaro]

Cogito, ergo sum 1/?

For the monthly AU (Sci-Fi), where Chishiya after realizing he cannot outrun his sociopathic nature he takes certain measures to protect the ones he cares about from himself. Visitors are rare in the parts he resides, but... they appear. I cannot write short stuff, my apologies.

Niragi couldn't help but lick his lips in excitement, scanning every inch of the sharp-edged shape that their ship moved towards. After a dry spell in the last few months, it was almost like a sign from a higher power. An inactive exploration vessel, full of valuable equipment, so deep in outer space and so far away from the nearest colony. Takatora cursed Niragi the day he decided to risk it all and scout the deep outskirts of Andromeda for ships to pillage.

"There is nothing there, nothing but frozen rocks and active black holes! If we die, it's on you," Takatora shouted to Niragi, slamming shut the door to his cabin.

Well... who is laughing now? Niragi thought, trying to hide his smug smile from Takatora, who was in the middle of securing his suit for a spacewalk. Its original color was pearl white, but now it was almost dirt brown with countless holes and improvised stitches visible on the surface. Niragi was sure he had never seen his co-pilot clean it once, but he never commented on it. Takatora was really sensitive when it came to criticism, which made their job twice as hard.

"So... what are we thinking — xenobiologist mission gone wrong? Running out of fuel in deep space? All of them starving?" Niragi said, glancing at the vessel, which grew bigger with each passing second.

Takatora scoffed, not looking at his co-pilot. Still visibly upset that Niragi was right all along about this plan of his.

"In these parts? There is no life to research. The planets here are either barren wastelands or toxic gas giants," he retorted, putting his helmet on and closing it with a click and a hiss. "Besides..." he added, looking through the cockpit window. "...I don't see any emblems belonging to that fancy board of theirs. Star Rovers or something? This ship is completely unmarked, but this type was commonly used by them about thirty years ago."

"Engaging stealth-drive," Niragi said, pushing a button on the dashboard, ignoring Takatora's jabbing comments.

"Why waste the energy? We are at least 10 light years away from the nearest colony. No one comes here, except for us," Takatora muttered, shaking his head.

"Forewarned is forearmed, and can you... shut the fuck up already? We are close, focus," Niragi hush-yelled. He rarely lost patience these days, but Takatora had been especially annoying lately.

Niragi cocked his head as he analyzed the bleach-white surface of the exploration vessel. There weren't many curves to it. It looked rather practical with razor-sharp shapes plastered on top of each other, giving it a very industrial, old-world look. It looked like it could easily hold about 10 to 15 people, cargo included. The vessel was glistening in the countless stars of the deep outskirts of the Andromeda galaxy, but neither Niragi nor Takatora would ever notice the beauty of such an image. They were simple pirates and scavengers, a rotting limb on the body of society, driven by profit, not greater things in life.

Their ship was positioned towards the vessel's cargo door. The brief creaking of metallic parts and after that hooks jabbing themselves into the other ship told Niragi that the connection between the shuttles was secured. Now came the hard part: getting through the door. When exploration vessels went into energy conservation mode, the security protocols were "a bitch to break through," Takatora's words, not his. The tools they acquired better be worth their price.

The tunnel connecting the two ships was pitch black. Only the lights coming from their helmets illuminated the way. Takatora crouched by the thick metal door and opened up a large briefcase with different, colorful accouterments inside it. From Niragi's perspective, they looked impenetrable, but that is precisely why his co-pilot was the expert, not him.

"Look at this baby," Takatora said, in awe. He presented Niragi with a club-looking tool with a small, sharp wire at the end, which seemed to have a mind of its own. It was wriggling and vibrating, as if with anticipation to be used. "No ordinary wire-cutter. Military-grade, with a precise gyroscope and a thick diamond wire that could sustain temperatures u-..." he was cut off by a loud sigh.

"Yeah, yeah. You will make love to it later, open the damn door," Niragi hastened him, tapping impatiently on the metal floor of the tunnel.

Takatora grumbled something under his breath, twisting the club-like tool. It emanated a low ping sound and then turned green. Niragi’s co-pilot stood up and came to the minuscule gap between the door, and then, the wire-cutter with a mind of its own slithered in between the small crack, looking to do its job.

“Just so you know it’s gonna take a wh-” again, whatever Takatora was about to say was cut off.

A wave of vibrations of enormous proportion coming from the exploration vessel shook the tunnel, its metallic parts cracking and grinding against each other, almost as if they were shouting in agony. Takatora dropped the tool, which slid towards the south wall with a loud clank. Niragi lost balance and fell on his back, bruising his hip on the hard surface. When the vibrations stopped and the pirates gathered their bearings, they regrouped by the door.

“What the fuck was that? Did your precious tool cut the wrong wire?” Niragi huffed angrily in between labored breaths.

“I have no idea, it shouldn’t happen. Maybe we should…” Takatora fell silent but his eyes shot back to the entrance to their ship.

“No! No! Absolutely not!” Niragi shouted, massaging his bruised hip. “We’ve been floating around this dumpster, trying to find something valuable for about 3 months. If we come back empty-handed we’re done for.” He said, coming up to his co-pilot and grabbing him by his collar. “So, you will pick up your fancy dildo from the floor and keep cutting.” He ground the last three words out.

Takatora was not used to Niragi being this aggressive. He knew that whatever Hatter spoke with Niragi about before they left must have left the long-haired man terrified enough to not fear death, because a far worse fate awaited him back home.

“Alright, alright.” Takatora muttered, picking up his tool and getting into position again.

The wire slithered its way in-between the cracks again. Niragi held his breath. No vibrations, all seemed to be working, for now.

* * *

Shuntaro woke up to an unimaginable, searing pain, the kind that lingers long after it stops hurting. So, he screamed and yelled and his entire metallic entity cracked and vibrated with each shout and grunt of pain. Even though he had no limbs, he trashed around like an animal in its last dying moments. Even though he had no mouth, he could feel his throat swelling from the screaming.

Before the haze of a 5-year slumber left his mind, his first coherent thought after the pain subsided was “They are at the cargo door.” Still not fully grasping the situation, he jumped to the cargo door camera to asses the situation. Sure enough, in blueish hue of the door he noticed a thin wire swirling around the crack. He had about 15 minutes before they break through.

He turned on localization module, which barely worked with the spare generators running. Where even was he? Andromeda galaxy… far, far away from where he originally fell into slumber. Far away from his sister. Junko, she crossed his mind… he hoped she was okay. 3 minutes.

Chishiya jumped again, he had limbs now, metallic, pneumatic and wired ones, unlike those made of flesh. But they were there. He stretched to the cacophony of moving parts, a thick carbon fiber cable on his back reminding him that he could not go far. The first steps were that of a baby learning to walk - clumsy, uneasy. He took a step that was too wide and lost balance. The robotic suit crashed against the metal floor before he stood up and made his way towards the cargo door.

He had not had visitors in quite a while and could not help but feel restless and excited at the thought of having companions to play chess with. Sadly, without food and water humans did not last long.

Chishiya hoped they ate a sufficient meal before they entered him

* * *

“What was that?” Takatora said with his hand on the cargo door, about to push them open. He swore he heard something clutter on the other side of the door. It was faint but he heard it.

Niragi fell silent and listened, but he heard nothing worth noting except for the fancy cutting-wire tool whirling, finishing its job.

“The sound of you complaining.” He said sarcastically, passing Takatora by and pushing the door open for him. He was sick of him voicing concerns, he did not understand that they had no choice but to enter — whatever was on the other side.

The cargo door squeaked and hissed, the pressure between two vessels evening. When the clouds of white smoke fell down, they could finally see the inside of the exploration ship. It was… completely empty, except for one very odd-looking robot standing in the middle of the room.

“Huh? That’s it?” Niragi shouted, coming up deeper into the cargo bay. “Fuck this shit! Where is all the equipment?” He said, frantically lighting his helmet lamp around the empty room, completely ignoring the robotic entity in the middle of it.

“Relax, maybe they stored it above.” said Takatora, shining his own helmet light at the robot.

It looked like something out of a military base rather than a lab in an exploration vessel. A multitude of metal plates and pneumatic gears mashed together by military-grade carbon fiber wires. Capable of running, jumping… shooting. At the top of its funnel-like head, there was a single circular eye, probably functioning both as its optical device and as a light. It looked dormant for now.

Takatora came up closer and tapped at the eye two times. He did not hear the pneumatic gears releasing nor had a chance to stop what came next. With a swift precision, robotic arm got him by his throat, putting enough pressure on it to render him unconscious but also just enough to not crush it completely. Where was Niragi? Last time Takatora checked he was walking up the stairs to see the rest of the ship.

He fell to the floor with a thud, observing as the robot pushed a button on the back of his neck, his silhouette flickered in the dim light before becoming completely invisible.

Takatora suddenly felt extremely tired as the blackness took him.

[luzhiecake]

Learning to draw

Never did any art before. I'm 29 now and learning from scratch.

So I've started learning how to draw several months ago. I never was "artistic", last time I drew was back in middle school I think. And my job is closer to math than it is to art.

I tried to pick it up a couple of times in my lifetime, but never stick with it. Mostly because back then all the tutorials I could get my hands on would throw me into drawing circles, and boxes, and lines, and nobody has time for this boring shit.

But idea of knowing how to draw always seemed really appealing to me. And it's not like I have a bunch of stuff that I wanna draw (I would probably mostly be drawing boobs once I'm skilled enough), but something about being able to do that effortlessly drew me in.

I voiced this desire last spring to one of the artist friends I know and he told me that I should just do it.

"Just buy a sketchbook," I bought a clipboard and a stack of printer paper lol. "And a pencil, and fill it up with stuff you see."

I bought the tools, but also decided to try and learn for real this time. And to make it work I used some experience that little me didn't have. If I learned something through my 20s is that at least I know well what works best for me when learning.

I picked up a book, because I prefer book over lecture, YT video or even just an article.

I started first with "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" by Betty Edwards. I went through about 1/3 of it. It did a good job introducing basic concepts, especially that "when you copy from life - draw what you see instead of what you think". Like you should draw just lines and shapes that you see even if they don't make sense to you. Trust the process. Which is obvious, but was mindblowing for me at the moment. It pushed my initial skill level from childish scribbles to adult scribbles. Big cognitive shift.

I quit the book pretty soon tho. Aside from outdated ideas about brain it was a bit too handhold'y and condescending in places. And had waaaay too much offtopic yapping. So I switched to "Keys to Drawing" by Bert Dodson which was still structured as a beginner's book and taught all the same concepts, but actually treated you as an adult.

In a month and a half I was all the way through it and could draw better than I could ever imagine, but I could only "draw" from reference and could only copy reference one to one. I was basically lik a bad AI.

Book did taught me to see what I need to learn though - my shading was okay, but everything else was horrible, especially line confidence, proportions and perspective.

I've decided to start learning the latter one properly and picked up Norling's "Perspective Made Easy" (which is a huge lie, it's not easy in the slightest). I'll write more about it in some other post

[sky-swimmer]

STOP THIS MADNESS!!!!!!

SOBBING.... I had the privilege of seeing the pages, but OH MY GOD.... I have no words. EACH TIME I LOOK I NOTICE SOMETHING ELSE?? The expressions, the creativity, the TALENT???? WHAT? I didn't even know comics could BE like this. This dropping on the same day I happened to upload a new chapter has killed me. The universe is telling me I must continue my forsaken fic.

Eight pages. EIGHT WHOLE PAGES? Slenderman WHO?? I need to download it, and mod in these comic pages as the OFFICAL 8 pages.

Anyway, I'm like, 99 percent sure everyone who follows me will already be following Snoff, but just in case- YOU NEED TO. Their art is absolutely beautiful-- not just the ship stuff like this that elevates my soul, but all of their art and work in general?!!?? Plus SnoffArt is so kind and LOVELY.

SNOFF

Snoff how can I even thank you enough??!!?

This is, like, a thousand million times better than I could have ever imagined this scene. Your MIND?! I can't conceive of it. It's beyond me.

I SHALL NOW GO PAGE BY PAGE: This is so rambly, NOBODY NEEDS TO READ THIS, this is documentation for myself. I have literally NO formal art/design education. I'm just yappin' and delulu and sSO happy.

Page 1: Aight, AIGHT, I love how it starts. Hazel grabbing him and his expression?? Her expression?? His shock and discomfort, her discomfort but steadfast resolve?? AGH perfect. I love the "Nope" dialogue bubble, spikey, out of place- SO EXPRESSIVE?! and omg I just love how you draw them- Dev's shaking, beligerant head motion is so cute and vivid. Hazel's concern and STILL reaching out despite it. (and her cute-ass haircut looking amazing from every angle) UGH i love. And the zoom in on where she holds his sleeve? And the dialogue being text on a booklet page?! So thoughtful and creative- AUGHH.. Gorgeous: 10/10

Page 2: *eyebrows fly off my face- body disintegrates* This is awesome. Beyond awesome. So impactful, so vivid. I love Dev's expression in that first panel- love the close up shot, like what she suggested struck him too close, he freezes in this cramped panel. And then a larger panel of him swiping her hand off. Even the way you do your panels evokes extra meaning & feelings in the scenes- it's just so incredible to see. And then don't even get me started on how you did the shattered panels like glass, with the dialogue spilling from between them?!?! It really gives the impression he is bracing, sharp, too-fast and crumbling all at the same time. Which is in this scenario is so perfect and amazing, as the scene was written as an example of his defense mechanisms. The old "I'll hurt you before you can hurt me". So, he's trying to 'shatter' their relationship by being a dramatic baby and saying they need to drop school and never talk to each other again. If he is the one to push her away and insist they can't be friends, at least he is protecting himself. ALSO, of course, Dev genuinely does believe what he's saying. That this is their only way (we love messy situations and toxic coping mechanisms). Also, I just love the final shard/panel of Hazel, the shape being more rectangular, less jagged and reckless. THE SUBTEXT OF THAT??!?! I'm drinking it up. and I LOVE how you drew her expression and the twitch JNDSKCJNSKDJCNSKJ she is so done with Dev.

Page 3: AGain, beautiful. evocative. Everything Hazel just small at the top, trying to get Dev to listen, and then he literally yells- about not being dramatic, which takes up half the page- oh, the irony. Then the panels of other people turning to see them?!?!? Just the whole thing is perfect. More perfect than I could have ever imagined it in my head. It's so good SO GOOD???

Page 4: Kings, Queens, Emporers and Aliens, Snoff art knows how to draw PERSPECTIVE. AUGHH it starts with such a visually appealing shot of them. Like almost a fish eye lens from above. Like they're being watched- which, UGH I love the subtext again--- As those are the feelings Dev is having- he's scared of what other people would think about the future they saw, about being judged, about Hazel judging him. But also an element of being under a microscope- Dev was over thinking all day, felt like he couldnt escape no matter where he was- and even more meanings I don't know how to put into words- it's just a wonderful amazing way to evoke these things. THE SUBTEXT.... AND AGHGHHH Dev's closed up posture... The close up of fingers hooking into fabric?! so visceral! beautiful beautiful.

Page 5: I LOVE THISSSS. I love this. I simply love it. The yank where you can't even see the expressions, just the motions. Hazel dragging him. And where the whole panel tilts as she pushes him in?!?! Genius, geniussssss. The disorientation. I LITERALLY FEEL LIKE IM THERE. LIKE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME. IT'S SO FREAKING GOOD. 9999999999/10

Page 6: Snoff... IM DEAD AT DEV'S ANGY FACE.

every time I see this, I can't stop laughing. Again, the panel layout is bEAUTIFUL. as it is with every page. and I love you choosing to show the whole classroom and set the scene when they finally get in there... It's so grounding to get the sense of space and cement they've moved locations- this one a little less daunting and on-display. love how you play with space and size and panels like what the HELL you are so talented who even allowed this.

Page 7 (HOW DID YOU MAKE SEVEN PAGES?): Again, expressions, movement, playing with the scene and spage make this such an amazing page!??!!? Hazel looks resigned, but she insists. She's softer, honest, open. She is tired and she wants her friend back. You can tell all of that just by her posture and expression- And then when she starts to speak, to say "I don't know... everything? Something? We're best friends, Dev. It doesn't have to be hopeless." We can't see their expressions anymore. we get one shot of their shoulders/busts, and then the words are floating around the room. And to me its like-- its showing that what Hazel is saying, what she is trying to say, is bigger than them. Salvaging their friendship is bigger than this moment. It fills up the room and spills out the window. It's not just the discomfort they feel right now, the discomfort they feel at school. It's everything. They're best friends. And throwing that away isn't something Hazel will accept. And she doesn't want Dev to accept it either. She needs him to see the bigger picture. THAT WAS MY INTERPRETATION FROM THE PANELS, ANYWAY. But also, again, not showing them is like a hold-your-breath moment for the characters and the reader. It's like time stands still as she says this. It makes it so much more impactful, and then it's like we're waiting for the make-or-break reaction afterwards. Also visually beautiful!!

Page 8 (YOU MADE EIGHT PAGES): mY favorite. The shot of Dev, how he looks kinda assessing, embarrassed, but then we finally see a bit of the mask slipping- his brow drops, eyes lidded and sad-tired. the quiet devestation as the reality sinks in again. The torture of trying to tell himself he can't have Hazel as his friend anymore, with her begging him to not give up on it, and he wants so much to say yes, but he won't let himself have it. And Hazel sees that. The moment his expression shifts to resigned, she clenches her fist and grabs him. We can't see her face during this, just the gesture. And I love that, like she's bracing herself, like she isn't thinking- just acting on impulse. A physical gesture of reaching out to him. Reaching through his walls and insisting on their connection. That she doesn't want to lose him. THATS MY INTERPRETATION BASED ON YOUR COMIC PAGE. ANYWAY- ugh I just love it. I love the impact of her holding his wrist as taking up 1/3 of the screen, breaking through panels. and the the blast behind it being a sun motif!?!?? I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THAT WAS INTENTIONAL BUT THE UNIVERSE ALIGNED FOR THAT! I'm going to CRY---- yadda yada subtext you're probably so sick of me rambling @/whoever-is-reading-this, BUT I JUST AUGHH. And Dev's final little suprised expression is so sweet and a lovely place to end it.

Part of me is like... UMMM did I actually write the source material for this masterpeice??!??!? I'm so happy I could cry. This is such a wonderful gift, so amazing. I love it SO MUCH Snoff thank you so so so so much I can't even express how happy this makes me. Put this on my gravestone, put this on my obituary, put this on my work resume, convert the images data into soundwaves and put this on my playlist.

THANK YOU AGAIN!!

A sketched comic I did from Chapter 6 of @sky-swimmer’s Devzel fic, Almost, Maybe, Someday (AN INCREDIBLE FIC BTW, WHICH ALSO UPDATED TODAY AND IM SO EXCITED)

This was absolutely one of my favorite moments (out of many) and I just immediately had to sketch it all out!! I initially wanted to fully line the comic, but with life stuff and my goldfish attention span, I’m posting the sketches (I really want to share this fic with you guys, which btw. YOU SHOULD READ!!)

[pacific-rimbaud]

Thank you so much for the updates to Remember One Thing! They have been the best emails to wake up to and read first thing in the morning. I felt my stomach dropping and all the feels as I read chapter 6!

Would you ever consider writing some of their back story after the story is complete? (side note: I totally trust you to provide all the context we need in the story) but rather just back story and prior to the accident because there’s so much history! My heart feel heavy just thinking of history!

I’m so sorry to ask as I know this is naturally the questions tied to a memory loss! You’ve just done such a damn good job world building. An example I’m thinking of is The World of Wait and Hope! But I’m absolutely not wondering about something that involved! (Unless of course you’re down, in that case we’d all be so lucky) For real, I want you to know that the only content I want to read from you is work you willingly share, want to put out, and are proud of! I respect you so much, thanks again for your loveliness <3

There is so much history! It's a story about the part memory plays in our self-concept, how we reckon with and integrate our various past and present selves, the ways our relationships are ongoing acts of shared creation, and the choices we make about who with and how we engage in that creation process (whew!). The slow, steady drip-drip-drip of being shaped by another person's presence day after day, for better or for worse, which is different but just as powerful as big personality-level cataclysms. Because their context is so critical to how they're both behaving, I have to have a really vivid picture of where they've come from. and I'm trying to be extra thoughtful writing this to (hopefully) have that history be an invisible but palpable presence. I really hope that the way it concludes is satisfying. I think it will be.

I will say that Neville's perspective in this one is truly awful. It will probably sting pretty bad on reread. There's a whole bunch of stuff that makes the situation particularly rough for him, and he's pushing through without any sense of when or whether there will be a resolution that isn't full of more loss. So maybe he deserves a little Neville POV prequel where he just falls in love and gets the girl and is treasured and safe and happy (which he has been, I sincerely hope that the profound love and glimmers of the mutual care within this marriage are coming across). I'll finish this and see what pulls on me next. I'm honestly just incredibly happy to be writing again and feeling all the feels for these two poor souls.

Thank you so much for reading and for the ask!

[autism-resources]

hi, i hope this is the right place to ask this! so basically. my brother is autistic and struggles a lot with internalized ableism- he sees his autism as a sort of stain on his identity, constantly saying stuff like ���augh my stupid autism” or “if i wasn’t autistic i wouldn’t have this problem.” like of course it’s normal to be frustrated by things, but it’s a genuine self-hatred thing for him. he’s even called himself the r slur in the fallout of arguments. my whole family supports him wholeheartedly and we’re always trying to show him that we don’t love him “even though he’s autistic” but that we love all of him, including that he’s autistic. is there anything we can do to help him see himself in a better light, or is this more of a self-discovery thing? i’d love for him to join tumblr and find a community but i don’t think that’s what he wants lol. thanks so much in advance i hope you’re having a nice day/night <3

Yeah this is the right place to ask this 👍🏻 Hi, sorry my answer took so long. As I’ve said in previous asks I’m trying to get caught up after not being able to for a while because of mental health. Since it’s been so long, the situation might be different and please feel free to send an ask (or message) if there is different information now or something else you’d like to ask.

Honestly the things you mentioned here make it clear that you’re informed and really trying to help. You seem to be very understanding of him and I would say trust your perception that it’s a problem but don’t get too discouraged because stuff like this does change. Self image and acceptance are major aspects of someone’s life and when you’re internalizing stuff like that it’s really damaging. And yeah a big part of self acceptance is very much a personal journey, but definitely the people close to you play a part in shaping that. The most important thing that you can do is just support him and not validate those statements.

I had a similar journey with my younger sibling who is dyslexic (and now has been informally diagnosed with adhd). They had a lot of internalized ableism and thought like that they were better by trying to “overcome” dyslexia and thought people could “push past” their disabilities if they just tried hard. It was hard to watch and I definitely wanted to help them so much that at times I confronted them. I found that addressing it directly made them upset. What I learnt from that is people do kind of have their own journey, but often if you figure out where they’re coming from and how to communicate your acceptance it really does make a difference. It’s just not immediate which can be hard, in fact sometimes the direct reaction is negative but then over time it’s positive.

My advice is that if you aren’t sure maybe you try to figure out what your brother’s internalized ableism stems from, is it being bullied, stuff online, childhood experiences, etc. Once you have that information you can try to really avoid triggering his internalized ableism, like how you mentioned it sounds like arguments might be a trigger. I’d also suggest just taking a gentle but direct approach, letting him know how you feel and what you want him to know. One thing that I find is very useful in relationships is instead of being reactionary- like if he says something negative that’s when you address his feelings, instead be proactive- when he’s upset, let him express himself, but when he’s not doing anything that is motivated by internalized ableism that’s when you address it.

The most powerful thing I could do with my sibling was just be 100% accepting without validating what they said. Once I realized it was coming from internalized hate I just made a point to show self acceptance. I started to just like make positive jokes about my own neurodivergecy and casually share the perspective of disability acceptance. Talk about ways that I struggle with things similar or have similar experiences to show them that it isn’t dyslexia = difficult and “normal” = easy. Like I’d make a comment about how I can’t read certain fonts as well or how I struggle to do geometry since I’m mot great at visual spacial stuff.

Also yeah I totally understand the tumblr thing, with my sibling what I do is like an exchange- I’ll do this thing you want me to if you do this thing I want you to. Maybe something like that could work?

Another important note, obviously some stuff is disability and even autism specific, but a lot of general self image stuff applies to stuff like this. Like personally I was very self negative and what helped me was the trick of making self aggrandizing jokes instead of depreciating jokes. So I’d suggest just maybe finding ways to up his self esteem and maybe looking up ways to respond to unhealthy self criticism.

Thanks for your ask, I hope this helped! Don’t give up! Also if you have any more questions, want more information, or anything please feel free to send me a message or send in another ask.

[lepusrufus]

Double edged scalpel ch. 1

It's finally here fellas. 

Mandatory warnings: blood, gore, medical stuff and procedures (like...a lot), all the canon typical good and bloody stuff, past abuse and alcoholism, eventual nsfw, strong language.

----

Gold, red and white. With black outlines. A delicate floral pattern carefully embroidered, firm but not rough underfoot. Covering the better part of the room's dark, ancient looking floorboards. 

Memorizing every minute detail of the carpet she was standing on was probably better than to dare meet the piercing golden gaze of the castle's matriarch. At least Nicole hoped as much.

Lady Dimitrescu was sitting in front of her, the size of her chair making it look more akin to a throne, and took a long drag of her cigarette. Her eyes fixated on the girl in front of her, almost as if she could measure her worth by glance alone. And in all honesty, she probably could. After a long, drawn out exhale of smoke, the Lady finally spoke. 

"You do seem to have an...interesting set of skills that could prove itself useful. That is, assuming you're being truthful." 

Nicole's eyes went wide, shock thankfully hidden by her long fringe. She had no documents on her, no way of proving anything about her past. Trying to remember the whereabouts of at least her passport only brought forth a vague memory of drunkenly stumbling in a hotel room that made her cringe internally.

She was about to stammer an excuse, a convincing one she hoped, when a small chorus of giggles came from beyond the closed door. The sound proved to be more interesting than her existence, as the Lady turned her gaze towards the door and waited. Waited for three other women, all in long black robes, to enter the room. 

The redhead and brunette seemed to be bickering amongst themselves, while the blonde made a beeline for her mother and passed her a sealed envelope. 

"Oh thank you. I will take a look in a moment." 

"Who's that?" The redhead, Daniela she deducted, finally took her attention off her sister long enough to notice the room’s other occupant. 

"Our newest maid, dears. I was just thinking about what task to give her." 

Daniela's eyes gave her a once over and Nicole gulped slightly. "Oh, mother! Have her clean the library!" 

"There's already a maid assigned to that," the eldest, Bela, pointed out. 

"I have a better idea." Cassandra finally spoke up, before her mother had a chance to intervene in her daughters' back and forth. 

The brunette leaned down slightly, close to her mother's ear and whispered something that Nicole could never dream of deciphering. But if the smile that soon followed on red painted lips was of any indication, the middle daughter's idea was brilliant. Or dreadful, depending on your perspective. 

"Very well. But you'll supervise her, you know that part of the castle is off limits for the staff." 

"Gladly," was Cassandra's response, voice full of mirth. 

"Just one thing," Lady Dimitrescu said, opening a drawer from the desk next to her and pulling out a key. "The key to your chambers. For after you've completed your duties."

Nicole took the key with a slight bow and a thank you, my Lady, and unceremoniously shoved it in her pocket, hoping it wouldn't fall throughout the day. 

Well that seemed to have gone well, as far as interviews for a job at a castle full of horrors go. Though she really had hoped not to deal with the daughters so soon, let alone be stuck following the family sadist down long corridors to who knows where, only stopping to ask another maid for cleaning supplies along the way.

Beautiful hallways, ornate with priceless paintings, gave way to more barren ones, where the wallpaper had peeled ever so slightly in places and the floor, now stone, had an occasional red stain that whoever was in charge of cleaning this part of the castle did not bother with. They walked until reaching a set of heavy double doors. Despite the slight state of disrepair of the hallway leading up to them, the doors looked extremely well kept. Not a speck of rust on the metal frame nor the lock. The wood looked sturdy and polished, if not for a few almost imperceptible scratches. And the Dimitrescu crest, cut through the middle so half of it was on each door, the flower petals shiny in the low light and beautifully detailed. 

Cassandra rummaged through a hidden pocket for a couple of seconds and pulled out an old fashioned key. With a grin, she wasted no time in unlocking the doors and pushing one of them open, enough for the two of them to pass through. Then, just as quickly, the doors were locked again with a click. 

The pair descended on a precariously slippery set of stairs, Nicole praying that she wouldn't drop the bucket of water she was now carrying, until they were deep within the bowels of the castle.

She was sure they were headed towards the cells, just slightly out of view across a short dark corridor, but then Cassandra took a sudden right turn. She looked downright giddy. Like a little girl on her way to get her favorite ice cream, walking ahead with a spring in her step. Except her steps turned into menacing echoes, encompassing them in an almost suffocating manner. 

At the end of the hallway, Cassandra threw open a smaller set of doors, doing a dramatic spin in the center of the room.

"Welcome to my little… work room. It's quite lovely, but unfortunately a pain to keep clean." The sadness in her expression was nothing more than a poorly concealed act. An act that she didn't care much for keeping up, as she went into a fit of giggles right after finishing her sentence. 

Said room was decently sized, a long desk running across one of the walls, while the opposite one had a wide variety of weapons in varying degrees of dirtiness. On another wall various devices that looked very much for torture and very much well used were hanging from hooks or long nails. And finally-...oh.

Oh.

On the far side of the room, two autopsy tables were lined, head end against the wall, their metal surface glistening slightly under the blood -both old and new- splattered on them. 

And Nicole was supposed to clean this bloody mess. 

"I want every tool in this room sparkling clean, including the tables," the brunette said with a wicked smile.

"Of course, my lady." With a slight bow of her head, Nicole started with the weapons. 

A sword, a dagger, a very old looking scythe, another sword but this one made to be welded with two hands and countless more. All with various amounts of blood dried on them. Blood that was surprisingly easy to clean off, aside from a couple more rusty blades. Whatever cleaning products they used, it was clearly very effective at cleaning gory messes. Shocker.

After finishing that portion of the room, Nicole moved to the adjacent wall, where the torture devices were hanging. She started wiping a vaguely human shaped metal frame when she heard light shuffling. It took a decent amount of self control to stay focused on the task at hand and not flinch when Cassandra was suddenly behind her, leaning down next to her ear. She was so close that her brunette hair was lightly brushing against Nicole's cheek, in an annoyingly ticklish manner. So close that Nicole got a faint whiff of roses from the perfume most likely applied earlier that day. It would have been nice if it weren't drowned out by a familiar metallic scent. To the brunette's defense though, it was hard to tell whether the blood scent was from her or from the room itself. 

After a few eternally long seconds of just hovering there, Cassandra finally spoke.

"This is one of my favorites." She caressed the metal surface the same way one would a puppy’s head. "We strap men to this, cut their wrists open and let them bleed out." The sentence was finished with a sinister cackle. 

It would have crept Nicole out too, if it weren't for the one thought that immediately jumped to the forefront of her mind. That's so ineffective. She weighed her options, with Cassandra still hovering over her shoulder in a position that couldn't have been comfortable given their height difference, and spoke tentatively. 

"Wouldn't the femoral artery be more efficient…?" 

The other girl froze for a second, narrowing her eyes and then scoffed, finally raising back up. 

"Who wants efficiency? The point is to prolong their suffering." 

She then dramatically plopped down in a chair, occupying herself with sharpening the curved blade of a sickle. She threw the occasional pointed look at Nicole each time she moved from one device to another to see if it would get a reaction out of her. It didn’t.

The devices were clean and it was time for the autopsy tables. Muscle memory kicked in and the metal surface was expertly wiped, blood and bits of flesh cleaned from every nook and cranny. After that she bent down to pull out the drainage tanks in which blood and bodily fluids accumulated. A piece of advice from what felt like an eternity ago screamed in her mind. When in doubt, hold your breath! And she did. Being used to the smell of decay did not mean being immune to it, and gagging in front of your new employee was quite the bad first impression. Luckily, it wasn't nearly as bad as she expected. Aside from some old stagnant blood, the tanks were otherwise clean. She washed both in the sink nearby and put them back in place with a content smile, hidden by the fact that her back was towards the other girl. When she turned around, Cassandra was scowling, sickle abandoned in her lap in favour of angrily drumming her gloved fingers on the desk's surface. A cold shiver ran down Nicole's spine, sure that she was about to get impaled by that very sickle in the next few seconds. When the brunette rose to her feet, she made peace with the fact that that was how she was going to die. In the humid basement of a medieval castle, on the first day of her job there. But Cassandra didn't approach her. Instead she paced around the room, scrutinizing eyes going over each and every instrument and, finally, on the now reflective surface of the tables. Her golden gaze then zeroed in on Nicole and, with a hint of a growl in her voice, said: 

"Alright. We're done here. Follow." 

Without sparing her another look, she unceremoniously threw open the doors and started walking down the corridor they had previously traversed. Nicole almost had to do a light jog to keep up with Cassandra's long strides, the glee in her posture now completely gone and replaced by frustration.

After exiting the dungeons and getting back to the more populated areas of the castle, Cassandra called out for the first maid that crossed their path. 

"You. Show this one to her quarters," she ordered and took off before the girl even had a chance to finish her yes, my lady.

Nicole and the other girl stood there for a couple seconds, until Cassandra's form dissipated into a swarm of insects and disappeared around a corner. Then the air seemed to be lighter, the threat of death no longer looming over their heads but reduced to a whispered reminder at the back of their minds. 

The pair strolled in silence down hallways that Nicole tried to commit to memory, until they reached a set of doors, modest, yet as elegant as the rest of the castle. Beyond them was a large room, with sofas and coffee tables for the staff to gather around with the central space left open. The large windows, occupying the better part of the wall to their left, sported beautifully intricate patterns of tinted glass, held together by heavy iron frames. Nicole mentally scoffed, realizing that she was looking at over glorified window bars and followed the other maid inside. 

"Do you have the key to your room?" 

Nicole pulled the key from her pants' pocket, pants that were now stained and dirty. Could've at least let me change, sheesh. The other girl took one look at the number engraved on the key and motioned for Nicole to follow her down one of the two corridors that opened up on the far side of the room. 

It almost reminded her of the hotels she and her family stayed at during her childhood. Dark hallways with doors on each side, the occasional person scurrying to their room and the big communal area. Except this looked far older and, in a weird way, cozier. 

Nicole came close to crashing into the other maid when she abruptly stopped and opened one of the doors, revealing a small room equipped with the necessary furniture for one person. 

"Well, look on the bright side: you get your own room." The other girl hummed, handing her the key. "I should get you your uniform. Size?" 

"Uh..an S please." 

In the five minutes it took the other maid to return, Nicole had time to take in her new home. She also noticed that someone had already placed her duffle bag near the bed. A sigh of relief left her lips at the small consolation that at least the few belongings she brought with her were here. Including her phone. 

"Huh. I thought they'd take it-" she had a better look at the screen. "Ah. No service. Of course." 

Not that she needed service for anything. The whole point of being there was to be as far as possible from anyone, but being able to check the news would've been nice. 

"Here you go!" She was snapped out of her thoughts by the maid’s way too cheerful tone. 

Nicole rushed to help with the stack of clothing and, once they were safely on the bed, the other girl spoke.

"There's seven uniforms, one for each day. Laundry is done on Mondays. Two pairs of flats and…" She trailed off pointing at a small wooden basket she had brought with the clothes. "Some toiletries and essentials. There's a perfume and broche with the family crest in there that I advise you make use of. The Lady likes her staff at a certain standard." 

Nicole nodded along and sat on the bed, finally letting exhaustion settle into her bones. The last few weeks had been a blurry hell. Everything from running away, to traveling, to coming to the village and finally the castle. She felt ready to curl up under a blanket and sleep for two weeks. But alas, she couldn’t afford the luxury of such rest. She almost forgot that she wasn’t alone in the room, until its other occupant spoke up.

"Oh by the way, what's your name?" 

"Nicole," she answered, extending a hand. 

"A pleasure to meet you. Anita," the other girl shook it with a warm smile.

[rametarin]

Is it? Is it really? Because from my perspective, I see a Russia that has gone mask off and fully dedicated itself to their stupid BRICs venture in a halfassed attempt to go, "Screw your casino! I'll make my own! With blackjack! And hookers!" And it's set up to crash harder than NFTs in a boat full of strobe blinded consumers.

They've instituted their own brain drain in the form of millions of working age males fleeing the country to avoid being drafted for war, they've steadily spent capital of human lives in the minority regions of Russia where they're pushing their sons to the front lines just to keep from inducting their own Moscovites to them, they'll run out of Soviet surplus shit by next summer and be reduces to buying wholesale from China to provide their own war machines.

Russia can't even win in Russia. Now they have to fight just to take back Kursk and then deal with the land mines and fortifications there, if they even manage to push back the Ukrainians.

If Russia was even 1/12th the military power it purports to be on paper, Ukraine would be flattened by now and their paratroopers wouldn't be long buried or forgotten pieces from machine gun fire, and Ukraine wouldn't have a 8:1 Kill-to-death ratio. They wouldn't be resorting to flattening entire Ukraine towns and cities to try and deal with them.

In over a decade of the Soviet Unions operations in Afghanistan, they lost about 15,000 people. They lose more than that over the course of a month.

Their S-series anti-air defense systems are popping like balloons all over the battlefield, and that's just shaping the field to prepare for the absolute ass destruction that will come in the form of combined arms operations to take back land from Russia. They continue to blow up Russian airfields and take out Russian jets- Jets and planes Russia cannot afford to replace, since they've painted themselves into a corner with the west and China is afraid to be caught giving them what they need for fear of sanctions and losing what business China still has to look forwards to.

Russia is getting its shit pushed in and cannot regenerate its forces sufficiently, it has all but lost Europe as far as energy goes, it's going to lose its Ghost Fleet of ships it's using to get around trade sanctions, its relationships with places like Nepal, India and Cuba and some South American countries are getting strained as it goes up like a crack fiend trying to cash in on their relationship for some spare change (the change of course being meat for the grinder)

Russia should not be flailing and struggling as hard as it is. If Russia was any kind of hot stuff that it thought it was, this would be over by now, and would've been back BEFORE Ukraine was given F-16s, Abrams and Leopards and Challengers, and Bradleys. But no. They kept failing and flailing and dragging it out, and little by little.

The Kill-to-death ratio is nowhere near the same. If it was, Ukraine would be finished by now. Instead, Russia continues to eat shit and lose hundreds of billions worth in kit and manpower as the west sells Ukraine shit that was previously rotting and near its expiration date from some hanger in Nevada. Garage sale stuff is stopping Putin's regime in its tracks. Not the good stuff, the fucking bargain bin of our whoopass outlet.

Meanwhile Ukraine is getting more and better access to European markets, security from the west, formerly neutral members and actors bordering Russia have joined NATO seeing what a fucking mess it has made of the neutral Ukraine, and IF Russia manages to clinch Crimea and the Donbas, congratulations, there'll be nothing stopping Ukraine from joining NATO, as it will no longer be beholden to the "can't join NATO if you're currently in dispute of land" clause.

And we haven't even witnessed their push to take back Crimea and those sham republics, yet. Which, I'm positive, are coming. Perhaps after a few more airfields and destructions of Russia's limited range airforce and rail lines.

Or perhaps after they've finished clearing out Russia's Soviet stockpile of shit, and they've been reduced to sending more infantry riding e-bikes with caging rated to protect against light RPGs. And they're down to clearing out the last of their World War 2 era self propelled guns and armored personnel carriers.

Ukraine is poor and made poorer by the warring, but post-war Ukraine will blossom. While Russia will be lucky if China doesn't decide to just annex a good portion of Northeast Asia, citing Russia's current military weakness.

In the absence of having sufficient tanks and APCs, the Russians have been revisiting meatwave tactics. When people that stan for them said they wouldn't, that's insane, that's propaganda, blahblahblah. Well, it is not arguable now, it is history. They can, have and do resort to meat waves with underkitted troops in desperate human wave tactics when they really want to claim they're taking land, even a kilometer at the cost of insane numbers. This is not up for argument, this is fact. And they're not beyond doing it again.

And they're going to have to, because the western tanks have proven superior to Russian infantry or tanks. Though they're still vulnerable to Russia's drones. Which is about the only reason Russia can claim to have any wins against Abrams, at all. And when Russia finally runs out of tanks, it's either hang back and wait to build about 20 new ones per month, at best, or sacrifice tens of thousands of men to machine gun fire and charging down tanks. And when Russia runs out of the ability to deploy infinite tanks, Ukraine will be on them.

Russia cannot train troops fast enough banging on all cylinders to deal with their losses, and the rate they're going, they won't have anything to ride into war WITH. Meanwhile, Ukraine will be given as much surplus western shit as it needs in order to stay in the fight.

Meanwhile, Ukraine continues to degrade Russia's ability to produce oil and natural gas, and it's only going to get worse from here. And a petrol state that can't produce or sell petrol, or build in the winter, or repair in the spring and summer, can't finance itself to its needs.

While Russia flouts sanctions illegally, the rest of the world investigates on exactly how. And once it isolates and pinpoints the hows, suddenly Russia will have only itself for an economy.

The US is not an empire (the fuck, dude?) And its choice to put Russia at arms reach came after it started deciding to annex and conquer neighboring states. Not before. Turns out, redrawing the map and claiming Georgia belongs to Russia and trying to reclaim Crimea are not good signs. But maybe if Russia fucking goes home, makes reparations, this attitude may change.

Another hilarious product of Russia's desperation

Something that makes me hysterically happy is internationally, governments and intelligence agencies the world over are scrutinizing and able to watch Russia flail about desperately, looking, hoping, PRAYING that by being less stealthy or Spy Game, they can somehow pull out a win in Ukraine.

They're uprooting what has been a century or more of imperialist Russosupremacist networks across countries, families and generations across cultures and regions of earth, historic tie-ins to governments, just, showing the guts of everything.. just to push more meat onto the Ukrainian front lines.

And in doing so, it gives intelligence agencies and spies the opportunity to go "hmmmmmm!" and investigate and research that shit.

They're able to see connections Russia had that they didn't even know about while the imperialistic totalitarian ambitions of Putin pull them in the hopes of pulling out a win. It's like a man tied to a boulder by his pubic hair being yanked out a window.

What inspired this post was that the US intelligence agencies have uncovered the Kremlin has been turning to shills on youtube and twitter, not just bots or ads, to push their talking points. The state department has been monitoring cash transfer to these people.

They can see people selling out to the Kremlin, in real time.

You love to see it.

[meruz]

once again i am answering asks in a big compilation post. included is... gotham, patrick stump, tips about drawing backgrounds, tips about drawing in general, links to my faq, and infinity train

like.... the tv series? No... I’ve drawn dc comics fanart before, though. But it’s been years since I’ve been really into it. I like jumped ship like 10 years ago when the New 52 happened LOL.

AFJHDSLKGH I’m sorry I (probably) won’t do it again??

Actually full disclosure I have a truly cringe amount of p stump drawings/photo studies in my sketchbook right now LOL. He’s just fun to draw... hats, glasses, guitar, a good shape... but I don’t think I’ll rly post those until I can hide them in another big sketchbook pdf.. probably Jan 2022. Stay tuned........ (ominous) 

(ominous preview)

These are all sort of related to backgrounds/painting so I grouped them together even though they’re pretty much entirely separate questions.... ANYWAYS

a) How is it working as a BG artist? Is it hard? What show are you drawing for?

I think you’re the first person to ever ask me about my job! Being a background artist is great. It’s definitely labor intensive but I think that could describe pretty much any art job (If something were rote or easy to automate, you wouldn’t hire an artist to do it) and I hesitate to say whether its harder or easier than any other role in the animation pipeline. Plus, so much of what truly makes a job difficult varies from one production to the next, schedule, working environment, co-workers etc. But I will say that I think while BGs are generally a lot of work on the upfront, I think they’re subject to less scrutiny/revisions than something like character/props/effects design and you don’t have to pitch them to a room like boards. So I guess it’s good if you don’t like to talk to people? LOL

A lot of my previous projects + the show I’ve worked on the longest aren’t public yet so I can’t talk about em (but I assure you if/when the news does break I won’t shut up about it). But I’m currently working on Archer Season 12 LOL. I’m like 90% sure I’m allowed to say that.

b) ~~~THANK YOU!! ~~~

c) What exactly do you like to draw most [in a background]?

@kaitomiury​ Lots of stuff! I really like to draw clutter! Because it’s a great opportunity for environmental storytelling and also you can be kind of messy with it because the sheer mass will supersede any details LOL. 

I like to draw clouds... I like to draw grass but not trees lol,,, I like to draw anything that sells perspective really easily like tiled floors and ceilings, shelves, lamp posts on a street etc.

d) Do you have any tips on how to paint (observational)?

god there’s so much to say. painting is really a whole ass discipline like someone can paint their whole life and still discover new things about it. I guess if you’re really just starting out my best advice is that habit is more important than product. especially with traditional plein air painting, I find that the procedure of going outside and setting up your paints is almost harder than the actual painting. There’s a lot of artists who say “I want to do plein air sometime!!” and then never actually get around to doing it. A lot of people just end up working from google streetview or photos on their computer.

But going outside to paint is a really good challenge because it forces you to make and commit to lighting and composition decisions really quickly. And to work through your mistakes instead of against them via undo button.

My last tip is to check out James Gurney’s youtube channel because hes probably the best and most consistent resource on observational painting out there rn. There’s lots other artists doing the same thing (off the top of my head I know a lot of the Warrior Painters group has people regularly posting plein air stuff and lightbox expo had a Jesse Schmidt lecture abt it last year) but Gurney’s probably the most prolific poster and one of the best at explaining the more technical stuff - his books are great too.

e) Do you have tips for drawing cleanly on heavypaint?

@marigoldfool​ UMM LOL I LIKE ONLY USE THE FILL TOOL so maybe use the fill tool? Fill and rectangle are good for edge control as opposed to the rest of the heavy paint tools which can get sort of muddles. And also I use a stylus so maybe if you’re using your finger, find a stylus that works with your device instead. That’s all I’ve got, frankly I don’t think my drawings are particularly clean lol.

f) Tips on improving backgrounds/scenes making them more dynamic practicing etc?

Ive given some tips about backgrounds/scenes before so I’m not gonna re-tread those but here’s another thing that might be helpful...

I think a good way to approach backgrounds is to think of the specific story or even mood you want to convey with the background first. Thinking “I just need to put something behind this character” is going to lead you to drawing like... a green screen tourist photo backdrop. But if you think “I need this bg to make the characters feel small” or “I need this bg to make the world feel colorful” then it gives you requirements and cues to work off of.

If I know a character needs to feel overwhelmed and small, then I know I need to create environment elements that will cage them in and corner them. If a character needs to feel triumphant/on top of the world then I know I need to let the environment open up around them. etc. If I know my focal point/ where I want to draw attention, I can build the background around that.

Also, backgrounds like figure compositions will have focal points of their own and you can draw attention to it/ the relationship the characters have with the bg element via scale or directionality or color, any number of cues. I think of it almost as a second/third character in a scene.

Not every composition is gonna have something so obvious like this but it helps me to think about these because then the characters feel connected and integrated with the environment.

Some more general art questions

a) Do you have any process/tips to start drawing character/bodies/heads?

I tried to kind of draw something to answer this but honestly this is difficult for me to answer because I don’t think I’m that great at drawing characters LOL. Ok, I think I have two tips.

1) flip your canvas often. A lot about what makes human bodies look correct and believable is symmetry and balance. Even if someone has asymmetrical features, the body will often pull and push in a way to counterbalance it. we often have inherent biases to one side or another like dominant hands dominant eyes etc. you know how right-handed artists will often favor drawing characters facing 45 degrees facing (the artist’s) left? that’s part of it. so viewing your drawing flipped even just to evaluate it helps compensate for that bias and makes you more aware of balance.

2) draw the whole figure often. I feel like a lot of beginner artists (myself included for a long time) defer to just drawing headshots or busts because it’s easier, you dont have to think about posing limbs etc. But drawing a full body allows you to better gauge proportion, perspective, body language, everything that makes a character look believable and grounded.

Like if you (me) have that issue where you draw the head too big and then have to resize it to fit the proportions of the rest of the body, it’s probably because you (I) drew the head first and are treating the body as an afterthought/attachment. Sketching out the whole figure first or even just quick drawing guides for it will help you think of it more holistically. I learned this figure drawing in charcoal at art school LOL.

oh. third mini tip - try to draw people from life often! its the best study. if you can get into a figure drawing/nude drawing class EVEN BETTER and if you have a local college/art space/museum that hosts those for free TREASURE IT AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, that’s a huge boon that a lot of artists (me again) wish they had. though if youre not so lucky and youre sitting in a park trying to creeper draw people and they keep moving.. don’t let that stop you! that’s good practice because it’s forcing you to work fast to get the important stuff down LOL. its a challenge!

b) I’ve been pretty out of energy and have had no inspiration to draw but I have the desire to. Any advice?

Dude, take a walk or something.... Or a nap? Low energy is going to effect everything else so you gotta hit that problem at its source.

If you’re looking for inspiration though, I’d recommend stuff like watching a movie, reading a book, playing video games etc. Fill up your idea bank with content and then give yourself time/space to gestate it into new concepts. Sometimes looking at other art works but sometimes it can work against you because it’s too close. 

Also something that helps me is remembering that art doesn’t always have to be groundbreaking... like it’s okay to make something shitty and stupid that you don’t post online and only show to your friend. That’s all part of the process imo. If you want to hit a home run you gotta warm up first, right? Sports.

I should probably compile everytime i give tips on stuff like this but that’s getting dangerously close to being a social media artist who makes stupid boiled down art tutorials for clout which is the last thing i want to be... the thing I want to stress is that art is a whole visual language and there are widely agreed upon rules and customs but they exist in large part to be broken. Like there's an infinite number of ways to reach an infinite number of solutions and that’s actually what makes it really cool and personal for both the artist and the viewer. So when you make work you like or you find someone else’s work you like, take a step back and ask yourself what about it speaks for you, what about it works for you, what makes it effective, how to recreate that effect and how to break that effect completely, etc. And have a good time with it or else what’s the point.

for the first 2, I direct you to my FAQ

For the last one, I don’t actually believe I’ve ever addressed artwork as insp for stories/rp but I’ll say here and now yeah go ahead! As long as you’re not making profit or taking credit for my work then I’m normally ok with it. Especially anything thats private and purely recreational, that’s generally 100% green light go. I only ask that if you post it anywhere public that you please credit me.

(and I reserve the right to ask you to take it down if I see it and don’t approve of it’s use but I think that case is pretty rare.)

a) @lemuelzero101 Thank you!!! I haven’t played Life is Strange but actually  that series’ vis dev artist Edouard Caplain is one of my bigger art inspirations lately so that’s a really high compliment lol. And yeah I hope we get 5-8 too...!

b) Thank you for sticking around! I’ve been thinking about Digimon and Infinity Train in tandem lately, actually. They’re a little similar? Enter a dangerous alternate world and have wacky adventures with monsters/inanimate objects that have weird powers... there’s like weird engineers and mechanisms behind the scenes... also frontier literally starts with them getting on a train. Anyways if anyone else followed me for digimon... maybe you’d like Infinity Train? LOL

c) @king-wens-king I’M GLAD MY ART JUST HAS PINOY VIBES LOL I hope you are having a good day too :^)

a, b, c, d) yessss my Watch Infinity Train agenda is working....

e) aw thank you!! i think you should watch infinity train :)