#trying to keep this one short for once

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday

tagged by @honestlydarkprincess (welcome back bb! <3) @buckaroosheart @spagheddiediaz 💖💖

this is so close to being done istg 😭 i just want to finish it and get back to my other wips lol

prev snippet

___

Just as Eddie is about to suggest joining Chris in decorating, their kid’s voice reaches his ears.

“Ew, are you guys gonna stop making out and help, or do I have to do it all by myself?” he sounds half-annoyed, half-amused, as he looks at them with a scrunched up nose and a pointed look he definitely learned from Eddie. It's like looking in a mirror.

“We’re not making out.” Buck mumbles and moves away from Eddie, cheeks bright red, looking all sheepish, like a teen caught by their parents – when really it’s the other way around, which makes Eddie laugh loudly. Buck just shoots him a look, but a smile breaks out on his face anyway.

“Of course we’ll help.” Eddie just says, walking towards his kid, putting the hot chocolate on the coffee table as he walks by. “Where do you want us, boss?"

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @911onabc @housewifebuck @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @jesuisici33 @lover-of-mine @giddyupbuck @exhuastedpigeon @king-buckley @disasterbuckdiaz @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @hoodie-buck @spotsandsocks @jeeyuns @daffi-990 @callmenewbie @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @jamespearce9-1-1 @weewootruck @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @steadfastsaturnsrings @malewifediaz

[sparrowlucero]

this is the iconic dinosaur horror jurassic park wishes it was

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

All: TRICK OR TREAT!

vampire marty as a late halloween treat :]

[whumpdoyoumean]

17 for slow horses? :)

xxx "You don't look so good."

"D'you think maybe I should drive for a bit?"

River stares out the front windscreen and clenches his jaw, though he quickly unclenches it when the action sends fresh pain through the left side of his face, up to his temple and all the way through his bottom teeth. "Absolutely fucking not."

From the corner of his eye, he sees Roddy slump down in the passenger seat. He's pouting. He's the one that got them into the mess in the first place, and he's actually pouting.

"Those guys beat the shit out of you," Roddy remarks, rather unhelpfully.

River's jaw twitches and he actively has to keep from grinding his teeth together in frustration, knowing that doing so will hurt. Plus one of his back molars feels loose and he really doesn't want to lose a tooth over this. His mind flashes back to the beating he'd taken, fists and boots connecting with face, chest, back. His ribs give a painful twinge at the memory.

"Yeah, and whose fault is that?"

"I'm just saying," Roddy persists, "you don't look so good."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Roddy! You're not driving my car! Now will you please, please, just shut the fuck up!" He glances over at Roddy, who looks utterly taken aback, and heaves a sigh. "Sorry I yelled! Just – this is a very stressful situation, yeah? I need to focus."

Roddy stays quiet for approximately twelve seconds. "You could be concussed. Driving with a concussion is just as bad as drink driving, you know."

"Jesus..." River murmurs. He's starting to wish he'd let those guys have Roddy. He probably would've annoyed them to death within the hour.

"You might lose consciousness," Roddy continues.

"Well if I lose consciousness, then you can drive."

Unbelievably, Roddy actually perks up at that, a smile spreading across his face. "Sweet."

River stares out the window. Maybe he'll get lucky and a meteor will come land on the car and put them both out of his misery. Otherwise, it's going to be a long fucking drive.

xxx

[mari-lair]

I want to talk about Killua and Gon's separation.

There is a lot to untangle so let's start with Killua's mentality after the Chimera Ant Arc.

Killua is aware of how much Gon hurt him, and he understands that even if Gon's bond and dept with Kite is not something he can relate to, this pain isn't something he can brush off either, yet, he comclude his self-reflection by calling his dilemma a burden.

This need to be valued by Gon is what made him take things personally and feel useless during their invasion.

Regardless of his own feelings and issues, Killua blames himself for not sucking up and staying there with Gon. He has for a while... Take note of how horrified he looks after Palm tells him he is the one Gon needs the most.

Any possible joy he could have gotten from being important was far too small compared to the crushing realization 'Gon needs me and I left him alone while he was suffering.'

But Killua is hurting for himself too, at how he was put in a situation where everything felt out of his control.

That makes him angry.

When yelling at Gon about how reckless and selfish he is, Killua thinks to himself "apologies...?" as a question, a question that comes right after thinking "this time I won't forgive you'', like he is trying to find an answer to how he is feeling.

He doesn't really know what he wants from Gon, how or even where to direct his anger.

But he does know what he wants from himself.

'I will definitively make you better.'

It makes his declaration feel more like a "you will be alive to apologize. You will be here when I figure it out" the apology itself isn't nearly as important.

Because his recovery is so important, Killua doesn't allow himself to think too hard about it. He can't get emotional and make mistakes again, he needs to be level headed and get things done.

Even if the ever-present fear that he will be too late to save Gon is there.

He was too late once after all.

Killua immediately loses his calm when there are no hospital curtains or glass windows between them.

Even with Nanika by his side to give him strength, he is tense from the moment he reaches for Gon's hand. It breaks him to witness exactly how bad Gon state has become.

Translations vary but the sense of urgency is prevalent, even with his mission accomplished, his wish a touch away, he shows zero relief, he acts like he is too late again, desperate to help him.

There is no 'Gon is invincible. He heals super fast from everything.' mentality anymore, and even the hope he has been clinging to that 'Nanika is amazing, she can heal Gon' gets destroyed.

Is just him and the brutal reminder Gon can fall.

So when Gon gets up, against all odds, Killua is happy. The joy is stronger than his grief.

He downplays his worry, and keeps it casual, when he tells Gon to watch out for himself, but he is genuinely happy when Gon thanks him.

That's what I believe Killua really wanted from the start, not an apology but a thank you. It always hit him hard when Gon thanks him, be it when Killua is happy, or at his lowest:

Killua just didn't believe he deserved a "thank you", not after being put far too many responsibilities on himself and drowning in failures. But now, things are okay.

For as difficult as Killua's life is, he does like to focus on the good, so when he talks to Gon, who is alive and no longer blinded by grief, while being able to hold on to his little sister's hand, who is happy and free, he has no regrets, it was no problem. He would do it again and again and again for them, and Gon showing appreciation of what he has done is the cherry on top.

Killua doesn't really care about the apology anymore, because he already understands Gon didn't want to hurt him, he has been by Gon's side for years, and he knows better than anyone that Gon is a kind boy who loves his friends very much, and is far too harsh on himself.

So Killua acknowledges his pain but he keeps it light-hearted and brief. He doesn't want his best friend to focus on this, as Gon is prone to, so after Gon gets on his knees to apologize, Killua thanks him.

Which is something Killua rarely does, most of his thank yous are either casual or in monologues Gon isn't privy to. But he want to focus on the good he gained, on how his adventures and feelings for Gon are what let him take the needle out and go to Alluka's rescue instead of how he learned to fear loss.

He believes Gon is just as important to Alluka's rescue as Alluka was to his recovery. And he acknowledged Gon's issues but still value him.

So he does what he has always appreciated, and lets Gon know how valuable he is. Hurt or not, he always wants what's best for Gon. To cheer him up, to put his mind at ease.

And now that things have gotten more peaceful, they both decided that's what they focus on, on how valuable the other is. How much they enjoy each other's company and how hard it is to go their separate ways.

Even what Ging says about "What I was I looking for isn't what I ended up valuing" parallels their arrangement.

This is the end of their journey to travel the world in search of Ging, and the Chimera Ant disaster will definitively mark them, but they are still friends, and proud of it!

Which brings me to Killua's "you're number two" claim.

Personally, I do not believe he is being literal or trying to measure their value when he claims his sister is No.1. He just doesn't want to put too much pressure on Gon when he can tell Gon is still beating himself over how he treated Killua.

Palms's "You're the most important person to Gon" speech broke Killua, it crushed him with pressure, and it wasn't even Gon himself saying. Imagine how bad Gon would feel if Killua said "You're my most important person" or showed in any way how highly he holds Gon after the way Gon had snapped at him.

Add in how Gon already feels indebted to Killua, who had witnessed Gon destroy himself over his debt to Kite, and how hard it is for Gon to let Killua go... I can understand why Killua would want to downplay the situation as much as possible. Make it easier on Gon.

I don't want to downplay Alluka's importance to Killua though, she is the main reason they separate, the one that gives Killua confidence to turn his back on Gon despite how sad they look about diverging their paths, and makes Killua keep going.

Killua had nothing he wanted for a while. Now he wants to take Alluka and Nanika to travel the world, and while Gon is amazing and fun, he is also deeply intertwined with danger.

And Killua already has a lot of danger on his hands.

He needs a break from danger. From stress.

He can't protect Alluka and Nanika, while keeping an eye on Gon in their usual adventures. And he can't let himself go wild with Illumi on the hunt.

His priority is to keep Alluka safe and happy. Show her a taste of freedom and all the fun he knows exists out there.

And Killua is emotionally smart too, for as much as he is attached to Gon, I think he does realize they need time away. They will see each other again, they promised.

but right now they are too dependent.

[gomzdrawfr]

having a keyboard going clicliclicliclicalcalcalcalcalclclalcalcl does boost my productivity

[clumsypuppy]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

[sskk-manifesto]

--

[yamsgarden]

AURGH i can't say my sorlato animation is short anymore...

it was 15 seconds and some how i'm at 1:50 after i reworked the storyboard T0T

how does that even happen...

i think i legit get possessed when i animate and storyboard things... it's so addictive... i was born to be an animator i swear, it's giving me LIFE

but it also simultaneously makes me want to give up and delete everything at the same time so...

i'm cutting as many shortcuts as possible too because i need to get this thing out of my system asap

at first, it all started because i want this thing out before the light novel. it's just a mental thing tho... for me

then i got super inspired by a song, then another one, then a new one... but now, the timing changed so much, the og song doesn't even fit anymore OTL

maaah i'll find something, but holy shit... it's all inside out and frankensteined T0T

but i could sneak in a hug at some point so... ig i'm super happy?! i wanna draw more spicy stuff, but idk why i can't just do it OTL i need some long buildup before OTL

is that what ppl call slow burn?!

but idk it's cute i'm glad here it's going-- jsut wish icould make something more menacing and or horror or abstract someday? i gotta make more tests OTL

[necrotic-nephilim]

your Kon post was sooooo good, like yes the core four are queer platonic, however Kon is hypersexual enough to have made out with (or more) everyone in young justice at least once, yes, including the non-corporal Greta don’t ask me how that worked

I love all of these posts!!! how many of these ask game things do you have in your inbox??

thank you so much!! and i ABSOLUTELY agree with you on hypersexual Kon (truly i just adore characters with grooming/rape trauma like Kon coping through the lense of hypersexuality) and even if YJ is queerplatonic, Kon has made his way through most of them. including Greta. he's creative he'd find a way. probably involving TTK. bc TTK in sex is a thought i have daily. endless potential for using it to basically turn someone's body into a living fleshlight he can manipulate from the inside out- specifically have a TimKonBart idea in my head about that where Kon coaches Bart through sex, since Bart is a speedster with a bonkers refractory period who struggles to feel satisfied, and Tim is caught between them getting used to get Bart off with Kon using TTK to manipulate Tim's body. fun times. fun ideas.

currently, i have one more ask game ask in my inbox (tho always feel free to send more!) that's BruJay focused. though i *do* also have a couple other asks that are just ideas i pan to use as prompts for full fics. just haven't gotten to those yet bc i'm currently busy with packing to move states so. i have *not* had the time to write i wish i had. i will not reveal too much but one involves JayTim fucking during the Titans Tower incident, another is JayTim with animal traits leading to porn, and then another is Tim/Kon/Jon with incest kink stuff. so! i have many things planned, i just need to settle into my new place, however long that takes.

[lightasthesun]

just wanted to thank everyone that's been encouraging me or offering some kind of support the last few times I talked about getting a cane... because I went and got one today and I didn't think it would make that much of a difference. I underestimated how much it would change for me.

So thank you <33

[apocalypticdemon]

oh god i think phd apps are actually going to be the death of me

[ceramicbeetle]

neo i clicked on ur link to With the Light and binge read like half the series for the past 4 hours. PLEASE tell me ur thoughts abt this series im in love with it !!! the framing of hikaru's issues as inherently blameless is amazing to see, and the focus on letting hikaru enjoy what he likes and letting him choose/listening to all the ways he communicates made me so happy. the way sachiko firmly refuses to let people be ableist or mistreat hikaru is so refreshing, and her patience and intentional care and observation ends up encouraging other people to stand up for themselves and build a lovely community of support and acceptance. i especially liked the incisive way they address people's condescending attempts at caring (the parents' talking down to sachiko, the teacher offering to make the races have no winners, etc). im so glad u posted abt this, i definitely never would have found it otherwise, and i would Love to hear ur thoughts ^_^

Dude!!!! I am so glad that you had read this series and enjoyed it, I'm SO thrilled that I finally was able to find a site where I could recommend it to people! I could spend hours talking about every single minute detail of this series that I love -- if I tried to talk about it here, I'd probably break the text box lmao. I keep trying to break it down to broad strokes and failing, I love the characters, I love the narrative, I love the educational aspects and the way it handles all these different topics and the fact that throughout the series, the thing that always comes through the loudest to me is a deep felt love of Autistic people and the Hope that one day the world as a whole will change to accept us as we are.

Hikaru isn't the POV character, but this series never falls into the mistake of forgetting that he is a character. There's no Symbolic Representation here (see Jessie Gender's video on this topic for more on that); Hikaru isn't just a walking DSM checklist of autistic traits -- he is a full person with likes, dislikes, interests, friendships, and even with his autistic traits, they're unique and specific to him instead of a broad attempt to make him carry the whole of the spectrum on his shoulders. (That's one of many aspects where I think the choice of narrative really works for the series -- having one family move through a variety of different schools, services, and organizations means that there's ample opportunity to introduce a wide range of characters that can highlight different traits, behaviors, and points on the spectrum without it being overly pointed or confusing).

And the series is always sympathetic to his perspective; we never really get into Hikaru's head, but the characters and the narrative still absolutely ooze an empathy for his experiences throughout the series. The characters often talk about not only the stress of having autistic children, but the stress of being an autistic child. They talk about sensory experiences as being overwhelming and painful, they identify the struggle to identify your surroundings as scary, discuss how frustrating it must feel to not be able to express yourself effectively. Sometimes it's speculative -- although they do also sometimes talk about having read things that actually autistic people have written about being autistic, but the core empathy is always present. Even when discussing something frustrating or dangerous (a mother talking about how her daughter sometimes tries to run into the street because she likes the white painted lines on the road), they still often take the time to consider and empathize with their children's point of view ("If the whole world was confusing and overwhelming, then it must be a relief to find something to look at that always stays the same").

and YEAH i love the way this series handles communication. Again, the narrative works in its favor on this topic, because Hikaru doesn't have to be someone who uses a shit tonne of different communication methods; they found what works for him and stick with it, but can also talk to other parents/educators about all the options that exist out there. The series goes into depth about a lot of different methods of communication, all of which are celebrated and accepted - deliberate use of direct speech, more abstract use of verbal speech, PECs cards, AAC technology, written directives and lists people can point to, type to talk, nonverbal gestures, body language, etc.

But to me, the most important conversation about communication is a moment when Hikaru's elementary school teacher Aoki is talking about another autistic student in his class. He is talking to the children's mothers, and pulls up his sleeve to reveal an injury on his arm from where Miyu bit him -- "Whenever I see this, I realize that I'm not communicating with Miyu-chan in a way she understands". Not only is Miyu "Allowed" to bite without being punished, but the biting itself is not dismissed as an aberrant "bad behavior" that needs correction, but is correctly identified as a method of communication that the allistic adults around her need to listen to. Miyu cannot talk and she's too little to read or write, she can only communicate her frustrations in the few, limited options available to her -- until she's able to learn how to express herself in more effective ways, it's important for the people around her to pay attention and actively listen to the ways through which she can express herself -- including in strange or "inconvenient" ways, such as biting.

And the very deliberate ways they teach Hikaru how to communicate is also Super fucking important. It's really significant to me that the first things Sachiko wants to work with Hikaru on are 1.) How to express needs/wants and 2.) How to tell her "No". For the series to correctly identify that the ability to tell someone "No" is not only a right, but an absolutely vital life skill is SO significant. Not only does Sachiko accept the idea that Hikaru will tell her no, she takes deliberate steps to teach him how to do so. The series goes into depth on how Sachiko (and Hikaru's other caregivers/educators) help teach him how to correct them when they screw up, how to ask for things he needs and reject things he doesn't, how to set his own boundaries and communicate his needs and dislikes -- no matter what that communication looks like.

I love that the series and the characters' main focus is never on getting Hikaru to "fit in" to society, but to figure out how to live a life that works for him, that allows him to be as independent as possible, no matter what other people think about how it looks for him. Another really important moment in the series for me is when Hikaru's grandmother is saying that the progress he's made since he was a small child isn't good enough, and when she asks "What happens to children like him?" Sachiko is absolutely stalwart when she says "He'll grow up, and become a young man with autism" and DUDE i love that so much. Not a single hint of the notion that he'll either be infantilized forever or somehow grow out of his autism, it fully embraces the fact that he'll be an autistic adult and remains adamant that that's a good thing!!!

Again, I could talk about this forever. I love that the series always empathizes with Hikaru's meltdowns and never just dismisses them as "tantrums", and when other characters talk about meltdown prevention, it's never in terms of "Well, we need to figure out how to force Hikaru to get used to X", it's always in terms of "I should have realized he was reaching a breaking point before things got that bad; we need to help Hikaru learn tools to calm down and make sure he knows how to establish boundaries and leave situations that aren't good for him". With the right adults, Hikaru is always able to leave an overwhelming situation and not return until he has decided he's calm enough to try again - no one pushes him to recover faster than he's ready to. I think there's one scene in the entire series when two adults who don't know what they're doing try to restrain Hikaru during a meltdown, and every other time Hikaru reaches that point, the other characters make sure to give him ample space to calm down without overwhelming him further.

I love the ways this series handles ableism in all of its forms. It addresses ableism that comes from ignorance, from malice, and from places that are "well-meant" in really educational and helpful ways. I love love love the way the series normalizes disability when explaining it to children -- there's a few moments throughout the series where other kids mock Hikaru, but the adults handle it so wonderfully. The "Hikaru struggles to talk the same way you struggle to run a marathon" explanations do so much to make disability just a normal thing, instead of some awful secret that you're never allowed to address directly. I think it's really wonderful.

I think this post is getting too long, tumblr is getting mad at me lol. There's still so much I'd love to talk about: I love how the author includes so many lovingly illustrated panels of Hikaru stimming, I love that his family is allowed to be frustrated without that frustration ever coming across in a way that demonizes Hikaru, I love the relationship that he has with his younger sister, I love all of the friendships that he's made and maintained since he was a toddler, I love the "It takes a village" approach that really highlights the significance of having a good support system, and I love all the different people that come together to help teach Hikaru and make sure that his dignity and independence are always prioritized. I love the little details of Hikaru's character like the way that he's really good at identifying/taking care of plants, and his love of dolphins, and the way he repeats the things his friends say to him to hold onto the thoughts after they go home/back to class. I even love how some of the teachers that Hikaru has in school aren't always great at their jobs (I actually think the Gunji-sensei arc is one of my favorites in the whole series), and I love all the side characters that the series introduces us to, and the care that the author has when educating readers about autism and all the different aids/accommodations that can make life easier and less frustrating/painful.

UGH I really do love this series so much, I'd happily keep talking about it and answering questions about it for forever! If my ramblings have encouraged anyone else to give the series a shot, I'll leave you with this: the first two chapters are the hardest to get through because Sachiko and Hikaru are extremely isolated and Sachiko does not understand what Autism is yet -- if you're hesitant about it, you can skip to chapter three where things start to look up a little more sharply and start there instead, and please continue to read through the rest of the series. It's truly one of my favorite autism medias of all time <3

[thebananwithaplan]

. "Anyone else sometimes feel like being a-"

[clockworksheep2]

need to draw what i look like when im Really not doing well bc i stg my face looks like a sickly victorian ghoul child. it is genuinely kind of fucked up fjfkdl i just felt my heart fuckin jump when i walked past a mirror bc im still not totally used to my longer hair length + my face is getting that bad sunken look bc of the sleep issues and everything else going on