#tunes talks succ

[jooniperbonsai]

Thanks For The Sub (ksj) | Chapter One

Pairing: Camboy!Seokjin x Gamer!Reader (afab)

Rating: 18+

Chapter One length: 11-14k 18,371 (OOPS LOL)

Release date: Fri. January 19, 2024.

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, camboy au, gamer au, comedy, crack, slow burn (?), coworkers/boss/friends to lovers, an exploration of adults in their late 20s/early 30s

Summary: After a clip of you sucking at video games goes viral, you've become somewhat famous, with thousands of subscribers now tuning in each week to see you play. Overnight, you've gone from a sexually frustrated grad student who reads smut in her room to a gamer girl (or rather, a not-gamer girl). This would have been the perfect job, except it was never the job you wanted. Desperate for money to pay for grad school, you bounce between your new gig and working at a local restaurant to pay the bills, where your hot coworker-now-boss Seokjin plays many of the lead roles in your sexual fantasies.

Seokjin, two years post losing his fiancé and job within the same day, is tired of the rut he's dug himself into and wants to start over. Now 30 years old, he's stuck managing his family's restaurant where he harbors an insanely inappropriate crush on you on top of carrying one hell of a secret: Seokjin is also known as Jin, a successful gay-for-pay camboy on the streaming site Worldwide Handsome.

When the stress of the upcoming semester and the pressure to stream becomes more than you can handle, you seek out some much-needed stress relief online, only to discover a man who looks a little too much like your boss is staring right back at you.

Warnings for Chapter One: Swearing, cheating (not between main characters), big age gap between lesser characters that can be uncomfy, sex work, gay sex work when the worker is actually not gay (but everyone is chill about it), <- allusions to queer fetishization bc of this, feelings of shame and guilt, feelings of failure/depression, improper restaurant safety procedures, the existential crisis of your late-20s/30s that we all seem to go through, off-handed references to kpop culture including fanfics because I'm a clown and need to call us out sometimes, silly literary tropes, references to pregnancy (NOT reeader), boss-employee power dynamics, allusions to queer BTS members or relationships, cameos of au Seventeen Members (Wonwoo and y/n are besties). NSFW sex stuff: big dick Seokjin (of course), Seokjin with rolled shirt sleeves and cutting things in a kitchen, Daddy Dom Seokjin makes himself known, blindfolds, camming (obviously), f/m masturbation, lots of dirty talk, sex toys, degradation kink, praise kink, sexual fantasies at the worst moment, kink exploration, a lot cum (sorry), I mention the omegaverse as a joke, a sparkly pink dildo, seokjin has a massive collection of toys and he intends to use them, seokjin and reader are constantly horny, reader is kind of inexperienced, implied exhibitionism kink, implied voyeurism, implied public sex.

a/n: it's here (and longer than I intended but oh well!) this fic is inspired by a combination of fics from the lovely writing community on here, the copious amounts of smut I read, a dabble of my friends or my own experience, & the high drama of kdramas. I felt really compelled to write this fic after rereading "tip 143 (for ∞ seconds of love)" by minilouvre on ao3. I feel like the camboy/person trope is so fun to explore and I wanted to try my own take on it with our Seokjin, who doesn't seem to get as many fics written about him but absolutely deserves it. I also wanted to create space for a fic that explores the weird transition of late 20s-30s that both BTS and I (and maybe many of you) have experienced in the last few years. I hope you enjoy! I keep my inbox open, so lmk your thoughts!

xo - h

That’s it baby cum for me. 

Such a good little slut for Daddy.

Wish that dildo was my cock. 

Fuck this is so hot.

The tip jar was going wild. The mute button tapped long ago, tonight was by far the most successful night camming Seokjin had ever had. He would definitely be able to afford that new gaming PC after this. 

Thank god. After three hours streaming, he was getting tired of riding the glittery pink dildo. It was cute–a Christmas gift from one of his loyal subscribers– but admittedly, he hadn’t prepped well enough before putting it in an hour ago, and when he let out a pained groan as he sank down on it, he immediately knew he would be feeling it tomorrow, and maybe the next day. 

His only consolation was the five new top-tier subscriptions he’d received while experiencing searing hot pain. He’d clearly appealed to someone’s kink. Well, there was always something for everyone. 

Seokjin knew this well. Today was his two-year anniversary since his first livestream on Worldwide Handsome, an international gay live cam site. During those two years he had seen just about every kink requested, from wax play to autoerotic asphyxiation to something called the omegaverse; he’d sifted through the internet and researched enough on each request to decide which ones he’d be willing to perform, and which kinks were too much outside of his comfort zone. 

Now, with an apartment full of gifted costumes and drawers full of just about every type of sex toy known to the human population (and perhaps even some aliens if those toys held any accuracy), it was obvious that Seokjin was a knowledgeable and successful camboy who could fulfill so many men’s fantasies.

Except for the fact that Seokjin wasn’t actually gay. 

Which is, as it turns out, also something people are into. 

Two Years Ago

It wasn’t that Seokjin ever intended to be a gay sex cam worker, much less a camboy at all, but two years, four months, three weeks, and twelve hours ago, Seokjin hopped on a plane after finishing a week-long conference in Los Angeles. He’d booked the first flight out, eager to come home to his fiancé. 

During the week, he hadn’t heard much from her. He understood, of course. She’d mentioned before he left that during that week she would be busy catching up on work and finalizing a really important project with a looming deadline. She’d been stressed about it the morning he left, practically shoving him out the door with his suitcase. 

But he missed her desperately, especially with the distance between them, and he was hoping he could regain some of that intimacy by trying phone sex. They’d been having less sex recently, probably from the stress of work, but he still craved her every single day, just like he did when they were in college. 

For most of his and Soon Yi’s relationship, they were insatiable. In college, they were known for being embarrassingly public in their displays of affection, with Yoongi once catching them in the kitchen at a party with Soon Yi’s hand down Seokjin’s pants and Seokjin’s hands up Soon Yi’s shirt. At first, Seokjin wondered if he always felt so horny because of his raging hormones and the fact that Soon Yi was the first person he’d had sex with. But even three years later, on the night he’d proposed, they had to leave the restaurant he rented out so they could have sex in the car. 

Soon Yi was charming. She matched Seokjin’s wit, always ready to keep up with a joke and take it to the next level. She fit in effortlessly with his group of friends, remembering their birthdays and always showing up with a tiny treat for them, even if they hated celebrating. His parents adored her the moment they met her. She was frequently fawned over when she visited his work to bring him lunch or to just stop by and say hello. 

When his boss, Mr. Choi met her during the company’s annual gala, he told Seokjin she was enchanting, she was the moon that lit up the evening sky. Mr. Choi was also incredibly drunk when he said this, but he wasn’t wrong. 

Soon Yi glowed through Seokjin’s darkest nights like the moon. 

That’s why when she denied every video call request he made during his trip, Seokjin knew something was wrong. He felt desperate and needy, something he’d never experienced during their relationship. 

As he laid in his hotel bed, touching himself to their memories, a strange need overtook him: he wanted to remind her that despite all the work stress, they always got through everything together and ultimately, being intimate might help with reconnection. 

So at the end of his boring conference, he flew back, planning on surprising her when she got home with a delicious meal and sexy massage. Maybe he’d even use those silly novelty heart-shaped handcuffs Jungkook got him as a gag gift. 

He was ready to rekindle his love for the moon. 

What Seokjin wasn’t ready for was the fact that when he walked through the door of his house, the only moon he saw was that of Mr. Choi’s naked ass as he thrust into Soon Yi on the dining room table. 

As it became immediately apparent, Soon Yi’s “work project” was clearly what was playing out before him as he watched the only woman he’d ever been in love with writhe in ecstasy underneath his much older work superior. 

It would have been one thing to lose his fiancé, but in witnessing this entanglement, Seokjin also knew he’d lost his job. Due to the blur of his memory, his brain trying to erase what he’d seen, he wasn’t entirely sure when they realized he was home. However, by the time he had grabbed another duffel with some fresh, non work-related clothes from his dresser–after he breezed past his unmade bed that probably didn’t smell like him anymore–Soon Yi and Mr. Choi were half dressed and sheepishly waiting for him near the entry.

Seokjin couldn’t bring himself to look either of them in the eyes as he stated his resignation letter would be on Mr. Choi’s desk the following morning. 

When he arrived at Jimin and Jungkook’s apartment to crash, that’s when reality set in. What would he do now? He had no house to live in, no job to make money from, and he just lost the love of his life. 

His head was splitting from the idea of car payments, a mortgage under his name for a place he wouldn’t be living in, having to tell his parents, calling the wedding venue and paying that awful cancellation fee on top of not getting his deposit back. The extra zeros in his bank account were depleting fast and it wasn’t like he would be able to sleep on Jimin and Jungkook’s couch forever. 

After two weeks of dodging family phone calls, desperately applying to every job that didn’t sound like a scam, waking up in the middle of the night from the lumpiness of the couch or Jungkook’s horrible snoring, Seokjin felt like he was out of options. 

“I’m going to call my parents and tell them. Maybe I can work at the restaurant for the time being while I wait for callbacks. I have some money in my savings for my own apartment. I just can’t keep doing this,” he said. 

“Hyung, are you sure? You know that we don’t mind you being here as long as you need. Really, it’s not an issue.” Jimin was gentle as always, the concern on his face knitting his eyebrows together. 

But Seokjin knew he was avoiding the inevitable, so when he nodded and then called his parents, their warm voices on the other end felt like a sign he’d made the right decision after all.  

The next week, Seokjin began working at his family’s restaurant, filling in for shifts that were short, typically in the kitchen. Chopping and prepping the food for the chefs, dish washing, and anything that kept his hands busy were welcome distractions from the painful reminder of what awaited him outside of the restaurant. 

Soon Yi was pregnant. Seokjin found out one day when he stopped by to grab a load of his things to bring to his new apartment. While both he and Soon Yi agreed to sell the house, it appeared she was taking longer than him to pack. He figured this was because she would be moving in with Mr. Choi, who lived in the penthouse of a luxury apartment complex downtown. 

During their meeting with the real estate agent, Soon Yi had scribbled her new contact information and mailing address onto some forms with Mr. Choi’s details. Wealthy people always operated on their own timeline, one where they could hire a moving company to have everything neatly packed and stored within hours. 

Seokjin, however, was limited to an ongoing loop of back and forth where he crammed his car full of silverware, lamps, and his MapleStory figure collection Soon Yi once mocked him for collecting. As Seokjin continued to pack away his belongings, he saw it. In the guest bathroom outside of the kitchen, there were two positive pregnancy tests in the garbage can. 

Soon Yi was pregnant and the father wasn’t him. The last time they’d had sex was three months ago. She would have known by now if that were the case. 

A wave of nausea rushed over him, and somewhere between bouts of gagging and wiping tears from his eyes, Seokjin realized that things were truly over. 

Two months passed, and still he couldn’t find a job. While the restaurant gig was taking care of some of his bills, it was only a matter of time before Seokjin would be unable to take care of himself. At 28 years old, he’d have to move back in with his parents, which was next to impossible in terms of space, not to mention the fact that his brother and wife were living with them while their apartment was being renovated to better accommodate a life transition of their own: they were expecting their first child.  

Given his semi-recent discovery, being around a pregnant woman was something Seokjin didn’t particularly want a reminder of. 

“I don’t know what to do. Something has to give,” he said one day as he sat in Yoongi’s living room. A thick coat of snow was covering the earth outside, though from the sweat running down the back of Seokjin’s neck, you would never be able to tell. Yoongi always kept his home at the exact opposite of the climate outside, trying to quell the possibility he would have to experience any physical discomfort if he dared to ever leave his house, which he rarely did.

His friends all sat around him, quietly sipping their whisky or beer while the flashing light from the TV casted a kaleidoscope of colors across the coffee table. Hoseok nudged Taehyung, who’d fallen asleep at some point between the long pauses in conversation. Seokjin couldn’t blame him. 

It was late, much later than the invitation Yoongi extended typically lasted, but this meetup was different. Everyone had always known Seokjin to be optimistic. From a goofy dad-joke-making 18 year old until now, he’d consistently been a source of light. When Taehyung’s grandmother died a few years back, it was Seokjin who made him first smile again with a spot-on impression of his own halmoni as they slurped bowls of naengmyeon.

His hair was shaggy and unkempt, his smile fading quickly from his face after cracking a joke. His jokes were also darker, less silly and eye-rolling and more self-deprecating and sarcastic. It was like his life was draining from him before their eyes, and it was becoming nearly impossible to stomach. 

But concern doesn’t always lead to action, which is why they were sitting around in Yoongi’s living room hoping the whisky would give them some inspiration to find a solution to Seokjin’s problem that he wouldn’t immediately turn down. They’d scoured job sites together earlier, and anything in Seokjin’s former profession only led to him suggesting his next boss better be a woman or else he might have to keep his future girlfriend away from corporate events or dining tables. Other careers in his field were met with similar disdain. 

Seokjin wasn’t always this way. In college, he didn’t know what kind of job he wanted or where he wanted to end up, so he majored in acting, hoping that it would lead him where he would eventually develop some sense of passion. 

In a sense it did. During an internship with an entertainment company shortly after he graduated, his attention to detail, natural charisma, and flexibility showcased a skillset he didn’t even know he had, which resulted in him being offered a position in their corporate headquarters the following fall. He’d been there ever since. 

But Seokjin didn’t want to return to the same life he’d had. So much of his life up to this point had been the same, and it clearly didn’t work out for him, so why continue on? The only issue was that he once again felt like he was 18, trying to decide on a path to follow when he didn’t even know who he was anymore. Nothing was appealing to him. 

“What about video game streaming?” Namjoon suggested. “You love games, and you have all the equipment. You used to talk about doing that all the time.” 

“Yeah, hyung. You’re also really good at talking and stuff, so it would be fun to watch you do it!” Taehyung perked up at this suggestion, shaking off his sleepiness to contribute to the conversation. “I’ve seen how much streamers make with all their sponsorships and stuff, they don’t even have to work another job!”

The energy in the room picked up slightly as they waited expectantly for an answer. 

Seokjin grunted. “Okay, look. I would love to do that. That’s my dream job. But you’re forgetting something important. Those streamers didn’t just jump on the internet one day and then got thousands of subscribers and sponsorships to pay their bills overnight. Some of them took years to build up their following before they even started making money off of it. A lot of people actually lose money from game streaming. And I need money now. I don’t have that kind of time!”

Taehyung deflated, settling himself back into the couch next to Hoseok, who gave him a tender pat on his thigh. 

“But what if…what if you did a kind of streaming that made you money pretty much right away?” Jungkook offered quietly. 

Seokjin glanced over at his youngest friend, who was holding his empty whisky glass in his hands instead of looking at him. 

“What do you mean? Is there some kind of gaming livestream service that does that?” Now Seojkin was curious. 

“Um, well, not for gaming, exactly. I was just thinking. Um, you could always do like an OnlyFans or something? I have a friend who does it and she sometimes makes $1000 a night. And that would take care of–”

“You mean being a camboy? Jungkook, seriously? Listen I know we’ve all had a bit to drink, but that’s a ridiculous idea.” Seokjin snorted. “Besides, the market is flooded with people doing their own sex work. Maybe your friend is just really pretty or something to make that much from it, but I highly doubt I would make any money off OnlyFans because no one would even see me!” 

Jungkook nursed his bottom lip between his teeth as he was dismissed, his body mirroring Taehyung as he fell back into the couch cushions. 

“Hyung is right,” Jimin added finally, having spent most of the night settled quietly next to an even quieter Yoongi. “He wouldn’t make much money on OnlyFans. All the men on there are either ugly or buff, and Seokjin-hyung looks way too gay to appeal to that market.” 

Yoongi, who was sipping his whisky as Jimin spoke, spluttered into the glass as he lost his composure, falling into a fit of laughter. From the other side of the room, Hoseok joined in, clapping and gasping for air between laughs.

“Excuse me? What the hell does that even mean? Yah, stop laughing! It’s not funny!” Seokjin fought the smile that was trying to form on his lips. Okay, it was a little funny.

“Well, hyung, isn’t it obvious? Remember that one time we went to a gay bar and all those guys I tried to pick up tried to pick you up instead?” Jimin sighed as he glanced at Seokjin before reaching across the coffee table to grab a handful of cheese balls. 

“We’ve been over this. They weren’t trying to pick me up. They just told me I was really handsome and had fuckable lips. And they’re not wrong!” 

“Wait when did you guys go to a gay bar? Where was I?” Yoongi cleared his throat, finally recovering from his laughing fit. 

“You didn’t want to come, remember? I don’t know why you’re asking this, you never want to go anywhere. Anyway that’s besides the point. Seokjin-hyung and I went to the gay bar and he stole all of the guys I was hitting on because they wanted to make him their baby girl!”

Hoseok wiped a tear from his eye and chuckled. “Yeah, no, hyung I’m sorry but if Jimin is being passed up at a gay bar for you, you clearly give off that vibe. I can see it. You look all soft and plushy and like you would be the perfect bottom.” 

Seokjin tried to fight off the heat that was creeping up his neck into his ears, but after a few glasses of whisky, and the ungodly temperature of the room,  it was a failed mission to avoid being flushed.

Jimin shot a glare at Hoseok, who shrugged. “What? I meant it as a compliment!” 

“Well, thanks I guess. Now I know I look like I’m gay. That doesn’t seem to solve my problem here!” Seokjin looked over at Namjoon for backup, but all Namjoon seemed to be able to do was give him an apologetic smile.

 “No, I know, I know. We got off topic.” Jimin said, “Sort of. Listen, like I said before you wouldn’t be successful on OnlyFans, just because of what they market. But you could always market yourself differently. And I’m thinking, if you really need to make money fast, you could always work with what you’ve got going for you.”

The entire room went silent. 

“Wait,” Namjoon said, “you don’t mean…” His eyes flitted to Seokjin and widened in alarm. 

Slowly, everyone shifted as they realized what Jimin was suggesting, Seokjin evidently being the last one. 

How was he supposed to work with what he had when what he had was apparently drawing a different crowd of people from the one he was interested in? What did Jimin mean by marketing himself differently? Was he supposed to just stream on websites that were exclusively for gay men? 

Oh. That’s exactly what Jimin was saying. 

“Wh-Jimin what the fuck? You mean I should be a gay camboy? I know we just talked about me being attractive to men, but I’m not interested in them that way!”

Jimin huffed. “Well obviously I know you’re not gay. Otherwise we might not be in this situation.” 

Seokjin winced. 

“Sorry, that was unfair. It’s just…hyung, you’ve been so not like yourself lately. And you’re right, something needs to change. I know you’re not gay, but this still could help. Haven’t you heard of gay for pay? Like in porn and stuff a bunch of straight actors will fuck each other or some gay guy because it pays more than straight porn. It’s the same thing.”

“Only you don’t have to actually fuck anyone. Maybe you should remind him of that,” Yoongi added. 

“Right, exactly! Look, you don’t have to do it. But it could help you get by and pay bills in the meantime until you find something else that you want to do. And there’s a lot of sites where you can stream even once and get a direct payout the next day. It might be worth a shot.”

Seokjin thought about it for a moment. It didn’t sound completely awful. From what he’d seen from the times he saw cam sites out of curiosity, most of what happened was masturbating and talking to people. And he didn’t hate people. But something about it made him nervous. 

“I don’t know if I’d be okay with being watched. That seems embarrassing.” 

“Oh please, the number of times you and Soon Yi fucked basically in public is astronomical. You’re practically an exhibitionist,” Hoseok teased. 

“That was different! I was with her! Now it would be everyone watching just me up close and personal. Namjoon-ah, talk some sense into them. This is crazy, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know if it actually is, hyung,” Namjoon said lightly. “Jimin-ah and Hobi have made some good points. And I think…I think if you weren’t even just a little bit curious you would have immediately said no instead of going back and forth with them over it like how you flat out said no to the other stuff. Maybe you’re feeling a bit shy because it’s been a little while and you are trying to heal through the breakup and stuff, but you also don’t have to do it or you can do it once and change your mind after if you want. 

“It just doesn’t seem to me like this is the worst option for you. You get to talk to people, you can maybe have fun. You don’t see the people on the other side anyway, so if you wanted to pretend they were girls instead of guys you could, or turn off the comments probably? It’s not real sex though. And even if it was, is that so wrong? It’s not like you would be cheating on Soon Yi for doing this. I mean-”

“Thanks Hyung! I think we get it!” Jimin interjected, raising his eyebrows at Namjoon as if to say shut the fuck up. 

Seokjin felt his stomach sink. Is this why he was panicked at the thought? It wasn’t real sex, but it almost felt like he would be doing something wrong by doing this. Not morally against himself, but someone else. Maybe he was still hanging on to Soon Yi in ways he didn’t fully realize. 

He felt almost like a heavy weight was pressing on his chest and forbidding him from moving on. What would happen then if he tried doing this for himself? Would the weight still feel the same? He wanted to know. 

“Ah, fine, I’ll think about it.” He looked over at Yoongi, who looked relieved that the conversation was nearing its end. “You have anything to add to this? A final voice of reason?” 

Yoongi snorted as he jumped up to stretch. “Nah. Except, as your former roommate, ‘Seok’s got a point about the exhibitionism thing. You were way too into showing me your dick all the time and walking around naked when we roomed together.” 

The room erupted into laughter, Seokjin himself joining. This time his smile didn’t immediately fall from his face. 

Slowly, everyone else stood, bodies unwinding from furniture and each other. While Jimin ordered Jungkook and himself a taxi, Seokjin waited with him. 

“My only issue is, how do I pretend to be gay? Won’t they know I’m not?” 

Jimin scoffed as he nudged a sleepy and tipsy Jungkook into his shoes. “I don’t know hyung. You have an acting degree. Use it.”

A few weeks later, Seokjin held his first stream, nervously engaging with the handful of viewers trickling in and tried to deflect the discomfort he felt in his new spotlight.

“Um, hi everyone. My name’s Jin. Thanks for coming. You can probably tell, but this is my first time and I’m really nervous. I hope you enjoy the show.” 

Seokjin decided to shorten his name for his streams to help him feel like he was embodying a different persona, someone named Jin who may actually be gay. It wasn’t a big change, but it was nice to give himself some separation from Seokjin, the guy who was doing gay for pay to afford a new life.

Unfortunately, Jimin’s suggestion for Seokjin to act wasn’t as easy to implement as he’d hoped. Within the first half hour, viewers of his stream had noticed he was still nervous, and started asking him questions to get him to unwind, and hopefully undress. 

“Ah, yeah, uh, anal. I’ve done it once or twice, it’s nice.” It wasn’t a lie, he’d tried anal a few times with Soon Yi and did find it nice, but he also knew that this wasn’t what the question was asking. 

“Do I have a boyfriend? No, I’m single.” 

Slowly he began undressing, the heat of his half-truths causing him to feel like he was burning up. 

“Are you really gay? Well, what kind of question is that? I’m here aren’t I?” 

That question seemed to satisfy his audience for another half hour, until a new thread of people trickled in, asking him the same questions. He was running out of ways to answer.

I don’t care if you’re straight. You’re still hot. 

When he read this comment, he exhaled deeply. And from that one reaction, a flurry of others joined in. 

Yeah, idc either. You’re still so pretty. 

So hot if u were straight. Maybe I’d convert u. ;)

I’d let you put it into my ass and let you pretend it was a pussy.

For some reason, these comments began to fuel him. The attention was kind of nice. It reminded him of how he used to feel. 

Maybe he didn’t need to act gay to get what he wanted. Maybe he could just enjoy the pleasure of the compliments and company and see what happened from there? The weight he had been carrying around in his chest was feeling a bit lighter, and the comments were helping distract him from the pinches of guilt that he was doing something wrong. Because he wasn’t. 

Here, he was Jin, a sexy, flirty guy who could shine in the sky of his own making. 

Jin, the moon. 

That’s it. He was the moon.

Present

“That’s it, give it to me. Please, I’m gonna cum.” Seokjin hoped the words he moaned at his camera were true. He was so tired, and he wanted to be free from the stupid dildo.  

Lately, Seojkin has been having a hard time cumming on stream. He wasn’t sure why. For so long it had never been an issue, but streaming had begun feeling less like a fun way to relieve stress and more like an actual job. 

Never before was he so popular with his stream, and while it’s nice to see a larger deposit being made into his bank account each week, every time he came home from the restaurant and knew he was scheduled to do a cam show, his stomach knotted up with dread. 

The last time he felt this feeling was a little over two years ago, when hopping on planes to fly to mundane conferences or sitting in board rooms for morning meetings consumed all his time. Even during the period he was jobless, there was a tiny part of him relishing the fact that the work-related dread was over. 

And it returned with a vengeance. Seokjin tried everything, ventured into new kinks and even the game features of the website with the hope that he would feel the rush he used to love from streaming. But nothing really worked. It was now just his job.

He didn’t even want to stream for so long tonight, but because it was his anniversary, he wanted to make sure he ended on a good note to thank his viewers. 

One thing Seokjin’s viewers loved was seeing him cum. It was the part of his stream when he always earned the most tips. Jimin had been right. 

If Seokjin knew anything now, it’s that he had many assets worth using to finance his life, and his pretty face coupled with his big dick seemed to work for him.

But even as he stroked himself, precum dripping down the head of his cock, and even though he was riding the dildo in a way that would hit his prostate and finally give him an easy out, he could feel the edge pulling away.

“Fuck,” he grunted. He was losing it. He doubled down, rocking his hips to see if hitting a different sweet spot would do the trick. But it was to no avail; his cock was softening.

On his nightstand, his phone pinged, which only could mean one thing. Seokjin always turned his do not disturb mode on during his work hours, only allowing phone calls from his family or one alert from an app to pierce through the silence. This one was the alert.

It meant Y/N was online and you had just started a live stream of your own. 

You were one of this month’s top gaming streamers, bringing in more viewers than Seokjin had ever received during his top months of streaming. You were popular not because you were good, but because you were the exact opposite.

You were awful at most games you played, jolting at jumpscares over and over, losing in first rounds of Fall Guys or Dead by Daylight. One time you jumped into a game of Fortnite and were eliminated by a potty-mouthed child the second you landed. Your jaw hung open as the tiny, high pitched voice called you a bitchass before falling into a fit of laughter that had Seokjin himself in tears. 

You were inspiring. Sexy. You received dozens of comments every stream about how pretty you were or how great your laugh was, which you often didn’t read out loud but always offered a humble nod and show of thanks when you did. There was something about you that hit up the world around you, and though he wouldn’t so much as utter it out loud, Seokjin had a massive crush on you.

But Seokjin was also sort-of-not-really your manager. Unlike all the people pining over you in your comment section wishing they knew you in real life, Seokjin actually did. He saw you three times a week at his family’s restaurant that he was strong-armed into managing while his parents took the opportunity to finally travel and see other parts of the world. 

Seokjin stayed, not because he needed the money. Not that his pay was all that much anyway. 

Camming was incredibly lucrative for him, cementing his income in a way that allowed him to pay rent in a very nice apartment downtown. Seokjin was also someone who had always been smart with his finances and knew how to invest in the best trends. 

When his house with Yoon Si finally sold (after four months of her taking her sweet time to gather her last belongings and sign off on him putting it on the market), Seokjin took his cut and applied it toward a better streaming setup and some lower level stocks…and a special edition MapleStory figurine to celebrate the new chapter in his life. 

Seokjin’s family never seemed to question how he was able to afford his fancy apartment given how much money he made at their business. Well, they did ask once, but Seokjin orchestrated some simple lie saying he worked in cryptocurrency, and that seemed to be enough of an explanation for his family. No one wants to know how crypto works, which in the end worked in his favor. 

He’d planned to leave the restaurant about 8 months ago, but then you showed up one day asking about a job. The restaurant was within walking distance to your university, where you were getting your master’s degree in early childhood education. While the program you were enrolled in had some funding, you’d told Seokjin’s mother you were a student and in need of work. The following Monday, Seokjin walked in and found you with an apron tied around your waist, your bright eyes and smile shining back at him. He couldn’t bring himself to leave after that. 

A few months after you’d started working there, Seokjin and you had become somewhat friends, sharing stories about past jobs (minus some key details on Seokjin’s part), student observations you had to do for school, and your interests. You mentioned casually you were a livestreamer for gaming, never alluding to how popular you actually were.

Eventually, Seokjin convinced you to give him your username, batting his eyelashes dramatically and promising he would be your cheerleader. For some reason, that seemed to work, and later that night, Seokjin tuned in to your stream, one man among the thousands. From that moment on he let his crush become a safe thing where, like his own viewers, he could fantasize from behind a screen. Maybe soon he would actually ask you out on a date, taking your coworker relationship and transforming it into something more.

And then a month ago his parents left, leaving him with the roles and responsibility of manager. Which meant he was an authority figure who could arguably do whatever he wanted. Similar to how his boss in a way was an authority figure who could get whatever he wanted. That idea turned Seokjin’s stomach sour. He could never do anything about this crush now, not while you worked underneath him. It was too familiar and distorted, and he never wanted you to be in the position he was once in. It was completely inappropriate.

But try telling his dick that.  

Two days ago, Seokjin witnessed you in the kitchen bending over to pick up onion peels that had fallen to the ground. You definitely weren’t aware, but your skirt had ridden up a bit while you were working, and that meant he could see a tiniest delicate trim of lace on your blush colored panties. 

And despite the fact that Seokjin was 30 years old and had believed he’d gotten past his boner-in-public-just-from-seeing-underwear era during his teen years, he was evidently wrong. Because those panties and soft looking curve of ass didn’t just belong to anyone; they belonged to you.

This wasn’t the only time he got hard for you at work. Sometimes on days when there were no customers, he would watch you study at one of the tables, where you were prone to stretching your body after long periods of staring down, trying to unknot the tense muscles caused by sitting almost completely still as you tried to comprehend what you were reading. 

During those stretches, you would often let out the most sexual moans and sighs as you felt relief and it was enough to have Seokjin tucking himself under his belt like a horny school boy. God, what he would do to hear you moan underneath him, because of him. 

He thought about recording you stretching. He was addicted to your voice, your soft sighs. It would be so easy to just “leave” his phone in the booth behind you. Then he could hear it forever while he imagined what else made you moan. Did you like your nipples sucked? Did you sigh when you were being stretched open and felt full? How did you taste? 

And then Seokjin pulled himself together and realized how sickeningly perverted he was to be thinking about you like this as he stood hard and aching in the middle of his parents’ fucking restaurant.

He wanted you. So much so that now as he worked his cock in his fist, he let himself fall more into fantasy, one where you were watching, curious about the many toys and gifts around his apartment, wondering how you could reach the limits of what you wanted and needed to make you scream. He imagined that across town, you weren’t firing up your computer for a night of cozy games, but rubbing your pussy at the same speed he was stroking himself, wet and begging for him to cum all over those gorgeous tits, that wet tongue–

Seokjin groaned as he came, his entire body trembling as a thick load erupted all over his hands, chin, and chest. Normally he could control the direction to minimize the mess but this orgasm caught him a bit off guard, almost completely lost until it crept up with a burning need and coated him. He hadn’t felt that good in a while. 

As he panted and focused his eyes back onto the screen, his comments were flooded with praise and tips, viewers exclaiming how this might have been his best orgasm they’ve ever seen, which was saying a lot considering some of his subscribers had been with him from the very beginning, and there had been some pretty fantastic orgasms. 

He wouldn’t deny it, though. He felt looser in his joints, calm washing over him and breaking apart the bitterness that was in his gut from how lackluster streaming had been recently. He wiped his chin with a grin and reached for the towel next to him, ready to wrap up his show. As he delivered his thank yous, one comment drifting through the chat stopped him dead in his tracks. His post-orgasmic high was crashing as panic flittered into his stomach. 

Did you guys hear him moaning a name as he came? Who the fuck is Y/N?

She had to leave. If the king couldn’t overcome his malice, she knew she couldn’t stay. No amount of love she had for his son was going to make him see that. She’d told him she loved him despite the scar that ran over his left eye and down his soft cheek. She vowed to be good enough to marry him, do whatever it took. Yet the king and queen had laughed at her, had their guard hold his foot on her back so she couldn't stand up from her deep bow. 

Laughed as they stood from their thrones to welcome the guest’s arrival: the consort for their son. The prince stood with them, silent as he followed them through the open doors. Quiet like how he used to be back in the first days of when she met him last summer. In memory, she couldn’t even fathom how he was anything like the man she’d grown to love. Yet, looking up from the pulp of the floor, she’d seen him return to that man. 

Hadn’t the days she’d spent walking those palace gardens with him been enough? They’d stood together under the plum blossom tree in the middle of winter and he’d promised that he would love her even while the buds were hibernating. 

“We can watch them become flowers together in the spring,” he’d said. 

He had taken her to his bed that night. Used his sensuous tongue to lap at her sweet nectar. He devoured her heart and soul. Climaxed with her and held her through the heavy snow.

Where was that man now? She didn’t know.

She waited until well after nightfall, when even the latest bird twitterings were silenced by the call of sleep. She knew she couldn’t bring much, but she managed to slip into the kitchen after dinner to pull together a few scraps for the road. Where would she even go? The nearest village was at least a two-day walk and if he sent his men for her, she knew word would spread before she’d even arrived. 

Unless he didn’t send anyone for her, she realized, her stomach dropping with nausea. He wouldn’t send anyone for her. She knew this. It’s why Prince August stood in the throne room, lethal as ever, even with no sword in his belt. August. Sugar. Whichever person he decided he was in the moment. Her nickname for him didn’t matter anymore. He wasn’t sweet. His desire for power showed the bitterness in his heart. He had given in to his parents’ wishes, despite the times he swore he would never give them the satisfaction.

He was cruel. But even worse, she believed he wouldn’t be. She was a fool.

It was the darkest part of the night when she left the servant’s quarters. She’d miss the ladies and all their kindness, but she knew she couldn’t serve August his breakfast in his bedchamber after this. After knowing that the sheets she once laid in with him were now being laid in by someone else. 

She took the back route, near the interior of the garden, ducking behind the ornamental shrubs and skirting past the watchpost the guards usually abandoned at this hour with ease. All that was left was to make it through the courtyard and she would be free. 

She padded her way along the path. A light breeze of the pre-dawn was catching, fluttering the branches of the newly blossoming trees around her and blowing petals in their wake. She caught one in her fingertips and fought a sob. Plum blossoms.

Should she take one with her? For the memory? So that she could always have a part of him with her? 

No, she decided. It would be too much to remember this. Once she passed through those gates, she would not be the same woman she was. Holding her breath, she let the petal go, hoping wherever the wind carried it, it would find the peace she too was looking for. It swept to the end of the courtyard, over the gate that was now her future. 

This was a sign, she mourned. Not all promises were meant to be kept.

With a final look at the place she’d learned to call home, the man she’d learned to call home, she opened the gate, ready to forge into the unknown. 

“Petal,” she thought she heard his call, his nickname for her. Though when she turned around, he was nowhere to be found. 

She must’ve imagined it, wished for the impossible. As she took steps through the gate, she looked out at the world around her, the plum petal a few feet in front of her. Maybe she would take a piece of him with her, after all. It was too tempting not to. 

She moved, trying to ignore the tug she felt back toward the palace, the invisible string of fate she thought that tied her to August trying to tangle her back in. She wouldn’t do it. She wouldn’t go back. 

She bent down, clutching the petal tenderly in her palms and letting the first tears fall. 

“So that’s it, hm? After all that, you weren’t even going to wish me goodbye.” 

She rose swiftly, whipping around to the voice’s owner. 

There, leaning against the outer palace wall, was August. 

The alarm on your phone chimes, pulling you from the book in your lap. You’ve been reading all afternoon, the sun now taking its final bow before plunging the world into darkness. Soon you’ll have to turn the lights on, then it will be time for work. On your only day off. 

You groan, stretching your neck as you allow yourself to come back to reality. 

To some, it would be hard to call your job “work”. Many people dreamed of being professional game streamers. Who wouldn’t want to be paid to sit online, play games, and talk to people? 

You don’t. That’s the problem. 

Your ascent into gaming stardom was a fluke. About 9 months ago, you were in between semesters for your grad program and looking for ways to unwind. Your oldest friend, Wonwoo, was a pretty successful streamer who often hosted game nights to play with his viewers and friends. 

You frequently watched his streams, letting his soft voice be the perfect background noise as you studied and formulated the next lesson plan or behavioral assessment. You’d known Wonwoo for what felt like forever at this point, being his first subscriber, first moderator, and first kiss (not in that order). But your middle school kiss outside of the convenience store never led to anything more than that, as desperately as you’d wanted it to. 

Once he moved across the country, you let your crush die with the distance. The years turned faster and your twenties were spinning by with the revolving door of lovers you’d watch him pine over, cry over, and in one case, almost marry. Streaming then became one of your main forms of connection, and your role as his moderator tied some part of you to him out of loyalty. To imagine him as anything other than a friend now feels ridiculous. 

But that loyalty you have is also to a fault. When Wonwoo’s usual streaming friends bailed one night during a tournament, you subbed in…for a game you didn’t even know how to play. 

And to make matters worse, this was a game that required talking to each other on-stream, which meant you not only sucked major ass at this game, but Wonwoo’s 700 viewers that day were also subjected to your constant frustrated squeaks, swears, and embarrassed maws as you tried to key-smash your way to victory but ended up throwing the entire team’s game with your incompetence. 

Wonwoo wasn’t mad, though many others were. He knew what he was getting into when he agreed, and his streams operated with very few rules: no hate, no spam, and we are in this to have fun. And he did have fun. By the time the first round was over, he and most of the chat were losing it over your commentary. 

As he wiped tears from eyes and took in a breath, he read his comments. “‘Damn, I never heard a chick threaten someone with a plunger like that before’. Yeah, I’ll give it to you, Y/N, you got really creative with your insults in that. Hey, PartyShitty thanks for the sub! ‘I can’t BREATHE’, yeah I’m still trying to get it together. W00000000000000000ziiiiii–damn that’s a lot of zeros in that username–thanks for the 5000 points! ‘Is she hot’ uh, I mean, I don’t— 

“Oh shit, LetsGetIt15, thank you for gifting twenty subs! ‘Please, Y/N, start your own channel. I’ll be the first subscriber.’ Actually, no, I’ll be. But really, that's not a bad idea.”

Wonwoo navigated the rest of his stream with ease that night, but after it was over, he called you to try to convince you to start your own channel. 

“It could help with school at least! Or you could get that special edition of that one book you like with the dragons or the blue alien porn stars or whatever it is.”

“They’re neither of those things, they’re actually–”

“Whatever they are! The book that has people fucking nonstop and some plot. You know, the special edition cover that you keep talking about in your close friend story that you won’t buy?” Wonwoo said. “The point is, if you start streaming you could finally buy it and then stop talking about it and I won’t need to see sections about how hot you think their alien or fairytale or demon whatever cocks are.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at his exasperation. “That won’t stop with me getting that book, just so you know. And if it bothers you so much, I can take you out of the close friend story. I didn’t even know you looked at my stories that much.” You didn’t know he still used Instagram at all actually. He very rarely posted. He mostly lived on his Discord channel talking about games with his subscribers or other friends.

Regardless, it was nice to know that he was trying to be aware of your interests, even if it was incredibly embarrassing. Although the copious amount of smut you read wasn’t something you always wanted to broadcast to the public, you’d still made some friends from online book communities over the last few years and enjoyed keeping them in the loop of your reading list.

Also, Wonwoo had a point. Streaming could help paying some of your school expenses…or get you more books. You told him you’d think about it, and while you weren’t completely in love with the idea of streaming, it did provide you with some steady income until you landed your job at the restaurant.  

After that conversation, you haven’t discussed smut or cocks since, and you’re honestly relieved, not because Wonwoo is hard to talk to about things, but because you are. Which is why streaming always feels a little uncomfortable and your position ironic, because you can barely have conversations successfully unless you really know the person to ramble about your interests to, or you can occasionally eke by with small talk. 

But streaming requires the spotlight being on you in some way at all times. It’s your face that is fixed to the corner of the screen, monitoring your every reaction. It’s your voice that echoes into the mic and responds to your chat. Sure, you have mods and some streamers don’t interact with their chat at all, but you don’t want to be like that. You’ve been on the other side before, and know that most people are just lonely and looking for connection. . 

From the moment you decided to do this, you were aware that because you were now a “gamer girl” you would be subjected to the three extremes of the comment section: chronic oversharers who tell strangers all their personal baggage perhaps in the hope that you will assume some role of therapist to them, people coming to insult your gaming (which is the point so that can’t impact you) or physical appearance, or sexually explicit comments. 

Over the months, you’ve seen many things flitting by on the screen, deleted in haste by your trusty mod squad, but it doesn’t stop the fact that you still see them. 

Those things you can handle. They are impersonal and a direct copy-paste of the same thing.

But when people compliment you? That makes you want to bury yourself under your covers and never come out. Because the compliments are always personal and touching a part of you that is authentic.

The people in your chat want to know you. They want to know what kind of music you like, your favorite foods and books. They ask if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner, compliment your hair or the shirt you’re wearing or your gaming setup. It feels intimate. Almost like you could find these people and touch them and let them know you. 

But they can’t. Because the only thing that drew them to you, the part where you’re this funny, positive gamer chick who sucks at video games but is down for whatever, isn’t real. 

Spring Day Streams Y/N is a persona. You don’t stream because you’re her. You stream because you have to be her in order to survive.  

And now she’s taking up more time. Last month’s streams landed you Streamer of the Month, which thanks to the exposure, brought dozens of new subscribers and thousands of points, and that helped take care of some of your expenses for the new semester. Some. You’re still behind on your credit card bill. 

Also, more people means more expectations for streaming. So you’ve kicked up your streaming schedule from twice weekly to three times a week, with you occasionally hopping onto Wonwoo’s channel even if you aren’t streaming to mod. 

When you aren’t glued to your computer, you’re usually at the restaurant, in a cramped kitchen where you do the prep work, often alongside him, your sexy coworker-but-now-boss, Seokjin. 

The man you are quietly obsessed with. You can’t think about Kim Seokjin without thinking about all the positions you want him to fuck you in. 

Which is also why you’ve been devouring books lately. When you’re home, you throw all your energy into the escapism they provide, especially ones where you can get yourself off to whatever fantasy Seokjin effortlessly slips into. 

For every hot mob boss, corrupt CEO, longterm best friend, dragon-rider, fairy, demon, alien, ghost, or hockey playing love interest you can find, Seokjin is sure to fill the role. A hot merman looking for someone to help him grow legs and something else? Seokjin. A Grinch who inherits his family’s Christmas tree farm and discovers how much he loves to ho ho ho? Seokjin. A god who tears apart the underworld to find his lost lover, and then during the reunion fucks her on the throne of Satan while she wears the crown? All Seokjin. 

Unfortunately, his transition from co worker to boss has made your fantasies all the more dirty. 

It’s been incredibly difficult for you to handle the fact that any flirtation you two previously shared in the months before he was your boss can no longer continue. But it’s also incredibly hot.

Fantasies of him eating you out on the counter have been replaced with the fantasy of him shoving you in the back office and fucking you on the desk while wearing one of those perfect-fitting dress shirts he often parades around in. 

And when he rolls up the sleeves to help in the kitchen? Fuck, it’s humiliating how wet you get.

The entire thing is pathetic really. He’s just standing there half the time, lecturing everyone on proper kitchen hygiene and ensuring one of the cooks doesn’t use expired seasonings for his eomma’s secret sauce. 

And you’re standing next to him clenching your thighs together because when you’re this close, you can just make out the freshness of his cologne and feel the heat of his body close to yours. 

When someone fucks up, he has a tendency to take over, chopping with unmatched precision and self assurance, trying to keep his voice even and usually failing as everything builds in intensity until he’s accidentally speaking at a million miles an hour and lecturing until his face turns red. 

If someone were to pass by the shop, they’d probably mistake his shouting for anger, but you’ve come to understand Seokjin is just passionate about things. Usually when he comes down from his tangent, he’s embarrassed and apologizes, and not long after the entire staff is laughing along with him as he cracks a joke at himself for his inability to tone it down.

Which to you makes him even hotter. Seokjin is able to see his faults and work with them, not against them. He holds himself accountable. He’s nothing like the haughty men you’ve gone on brief dinners with after downloading dating apps for the hundredth time while you’re drunk. He’s actually funny, knowing the right way to use humor and tell jokes, never at someone else’s expense, and definitely without being disgustingly crude. 

All those clowns you suffered through drinks with always made comments and digs at other women or referenced their cock like they were setting up some goofy scene from porn and you would find it hilarious and endearing. 

Seokjin isn’t like that at all. He probably refers to his dick as a penis and would blush to high heavens if he knew how horny you are for him. He’s unwound you, and he has no clue. Maybe if it hadn’t been literal years since you’ve last had sex you could tone it down. 

With working all the time and going to school, it’s already been hard to even go on singular dates here and there. And since the prospects were frankly awful, sex is just something that has had to go onto the back burner for a bit, but you seemed to scorch the fucking pan by forgetting to turn the heat off and now you are burning and hungry. 

With a final sigh, you put the book down, annoyed that you didn’t have time to finish it today or at least get to a good part where you could insert yourself into the role of the palace servant and Seokjin as the Prince. Based on the reviews, there’s sure to be a hot sex scene coming up involving using a sword in a particular way that has piqued your curiosity. 

In a moment of depravity earlier, you’d snaked one hand down the front of your panties to rub a few damp fingers around your clit to take the edge off. 

You check the time on your phone, already aware that you don’t have time to cum before streaming. You already hit the snooze button twice. The spicy stuff will have to wait. 

Defeated, you stand up, turning on the lights in your apartment as the sun finally fades away and the dark creeps in. You eat a bowl of cereal while doing your makeup, what little of it you want to put on. Finally, you fire up your PC, trying to ignore the irritation you’re already experiencing from being so high strung and unsatisfied.

The second this stream is over, you’re going to make sure you cum until you pass out. Until then, it’s time for work.

“At what point am I supposed to become good at this again?” You ask Seokjin as you attempt (and fail) to julienne carrots. 

When you arrived at work at an ungodly hour this morning to prep for the weekend rush, Seokjin had already started the coffee. 

Your empty cup now idles next to your scrap pile of too-wide carrot blocks that’ll have to be pulverized by the blender and repurposed in another recipe. 

Seokjin chuckles as he buzzes about the kitchen, reaching tenderly around you to grab your mug for a refill. 

“That all depends on how much you practice.”

“So should I expect a large carton of carrots to be delivered to my home this evening with the instructions to have them julienned by Monday?” You tease, as you split another carrot down the center, half of it flinging off the prep counter and onto the floor. 

Seokjin smirks and bends down. He picks up the carrot and deposits it into the garbage bin. “Two cartons, actually. Given how many carrots we’ve lost already today, I need to make sure at least some of our inventory lands on the customer’s plate and not just into the trash.”

“How considerate of you,” you chide, and put down the knife, reaching out to accept your newly filled coffee mug. Seokjin’s hands are red from the constant washing and chopping of potatoes, which you recently learned he’s allergic to. 

As well as garlic, and you’ve already voluntarily peeled and minced that for the day. That much you can do without guidance, but anything besides your imprecise chopping is on the list of knife skills Seokjin wants you to improve upon. 

This is fair, given how dangerous your previous cutting methods have been. Once Seokjin saw the way you tried to stab at a watermelon, it was over. Now you often come in an hour and a half early before each shift to practice. 

And to also be alone with Seokjin before he is forced from the kitchen to deal with other duties. 

“Thank you,” you say, as you take the first warm sip and shiver. It’s freezing outside, and it’s only supposed to get worse. 

There’s snow forecasted for the weekend, which could mean one of two things: everyone stays home and avoids driving, or they all leave the house in one show of silent agreement and fill every nook and cranny of the restaurant to order bowls of sundubu jjigae or crisp and hot pajeon. 

Seokjin predicts that because a warm front is moving in afterward, people will utilize one of the only days of snow you’ll likely get this winter to gather together.

Valentine’s Day is soon, and the city has started to prepare. Storefronts have begun switching out new year sale signs for pink and red heart motifs, with spas and restaurants offering couple specials. The perfumeries have moved from campaigns advertising the perfect Christmas gift to ones of sexy, decadent colognes sure to transform a man into his inner beast. 

And then there’s the chocolate. It’s like the air in the neighborhood the restaurant resides in smells different, less greasy and grimy and more sweet. Everywhere you turn there’s pastries, cakes, bonbons, crepes, chocolate dipped nuts and other confections that just looking at makes your teeth sore. 

With the district washing itself in a pink glow, more and more couples have been braving the cold, landing in the restaurant after weighing themselves down with shopping bags. 

You’ve seen what’s in them, often tripping over or kicking at least one bag each shift while you attempt to bring an order to the table and spilling the contents. This year seems to be popular for matching couple outfits. You’ve seen a lot of pairs in their early twenties wearing or recently acquiring sweaters that have the same characters or color combinations. With the temperatures dipping into a bitter chill this week, some have elected to wear cute but inconvenient sets of mittens that allow them to hold hands as they stroll. 

When it snows in the city, the world gets quieter, cleaner. Even if people shuffle around in the bustle of novelty experiences, how they show their love, from brushing the snow off each other’s coats or taking kissing selfies in front of snow fallen trees, it always makes you feel a little softer, a little more at peace. 

Snow is really romantic.

“What?” Seokjin asks, which alerts you to the fact that you’ve been staring at him as you let your thoughts run, a dopey grin splattered across your face. 

“Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about how much I love the snow.” You break eye contact, feeling the heat of embarrassment flood your cheeks. 

“Ah, yeah. It’s supposed to start soon,” he looks at you thoughtfully before looking back down at the tofu blocks he’s draining. 

A silence falls on you, the once normal pause now becoming a bit awkward. 

“What do–”

“I just–”

You both stumble over each other, trying to fill the unnatural pause you’ve reached, which has you laughing and Seokjin cracking a wide grin. 

“What were you going to say?” he asks, and then motions for you to get back to your carrot desecrating. 

“Ah nothing. You were going to ask something?”

You slice a carrot, this time less match stick and more shaved. Damn. 

“Oh, um. I was going to ask you what you like about the snow. That thought kind of came from nowhere and I was trying to follow.” His voice is careful, as if he’s trying not to offend you. Is he nervous?

Your mouth draws into a thin line. Can you risk saying what you were just thinking? Is it inappropriate to talk about romance in front of your boss, who you’ve thought about kissing in the snow at least three times a day? You don’t want to make him uncomfortable. You’re aware of the ways in which Seokjin’s new position of authority weighs on him. 

While he’s always had more authority due to being the owners’ son, it isn’t like Seokjin walked around the place with a power complex before his promotion. You two had become something akin to friends in the months you’ve worked together, falling into occasional flirty banter as you shuffled around each other to mop floors or wash dishes. 

You know he used to work for a large company a few years ago but quit to help his family with their restaurant. You also know he loves MapleStory and is always showing you his newest splurge from their online shop or the latest piece to his collection. 

He doesn’t have any pets, but sometimes debates getting a dog and then when shown support, he dismisses it with boisterous laughter, talking about how he doesn’t have the time and if he ever wants to get a dog, he will have to buy a house. Usually once he lands on discussions of a house, he gets a little more quiet, perhaps a bit sad.  

He has an older brother who has one child and another on the way, a major reason for his parents’ decision to travel now, before the new baby arrives. His brother and brother’s wife have visited a few times while you were working, but Seokjin’s mother had mentioned that her son and his wife recently moved into a new house outside of the city, and with the new addition joining sometime in the spring, it can be a bit exhausting to pack up the car for a few hours of visiting time. 

While you haven’t experienced Seokjin as an uncle, you know how much he loves being one, excusing himself from the front of the shop to Facetime with his nephew from the back office, where you can hear his voice carry with high pitched impressions and jokes or random songs he babbles to the youngest Kim. 

Knowing him in this way feels a bit awkward now that he’s the one signing your paychecks. Since his transition, he’s been a bit more formal with you, you assume trying to be respectful and professional. 

You understand where he’s coming from, but you miss the past connection you two had formed. And that seems to dictate your response. 

“I like how romantic snow is. How it not only makes the lights twinkle more, but how people do cute things in it. Snowball fights, drinking hot chocolate, building snowmen. They change their behaviors for the snow. To celebrate love in it. Last time it snowed here, I saw one girl push her boyfriend into a snowbank.”

Seokjin laughs as he begins popping the tofu blocks into containers. “That sounds awful,” he says. 

Your heart plummets. “Oh,” you squeak. 

His head darts up to catch your expression and his eyes flash. “Oh, no no! Not like that. I mean, being pushed into the snowbank. That poor guy was probably soaking wet and freezing after that!” He waves his knife in his hand wildly with his gesture and then quickly deposits it into a sheath before stepping over to your workstation. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.” 

You recover. “Oh he was. He also got his revenge by pulling her in with him. And she wasn’t even wearing a coat.”

You watch Seokjin’s tense shoulders relax. His broad frame is so close now, towering over you. He smells a little like the earthy starch of potatoes, but you like it. 

“I, uh,” he says, his voice becoming more raw. “I like the snow too. You’re right, it is romantic in a way. The snowflakes getting caught in your hair, you huddle closer to someone to share body heat, it’s nice.”

As if on cue, your bodies inch a little closer to each other. Seokjin reaches his arm forward, brushing along yours as he grasps one edge of the workstation to lean in. 

“Yeah,” you reply lamely. 

You blink up at him and he smiles back. You both sit there for a moment, neither of you moving, just studying the other’s expression. 

Then, he leans in.

Your breath catches, and his other arm lifts up above you on the other side, caging you to the workstation.

Your eyes close from the intensity. He’s so close that you feel the fabric of his rolled shirt sleeve graze against your cheek. 

All it would take is him leaning in and searing his lips onto yours and you would fold for him. You know this.  

This is what you often fantasize about, the two of you in this position. That’s the power he has over you, his smooth seduction, your willingness. 

If he asked you right now, you would strip down and bend over this workstation, let him fuck you with your nipples brushing against the cold steel of the counter, carrot shavings squishing against your face as he impales you with his cock. 

It would be so easy, he just needs to ask you. 

“Y/N,” he says, a bit more distant now, but you shudder at how roughly he says your name. 

“Mm?” you hum, forcing your eyes to reopen. Seokjin has pulled away from you. How long has he been just looking at you standing here with your eyes closed?  

“Turn around,” he says. 

Wait, what? 

You stare back at him blankly. Is he reading your mind? 

Seokjin rolls his eyes and laughs, holding up the package of dried seaweed that was above you on the shelf. He tosses it on the counter behind him.

“Are you still here or did I lose you? I said turn around.” You freeze, confused. 

He did all that to reach above you for some seaweed? Is he fucking with you? And what does he want you to turn around for? 

“Wha–”

You open your mouth to ask but Seokjin moves in, his hands on your wrists as he takes you and spins you around so you’re up against your workstation, his stomach resting on your back as you stand sandwiched against him and the cold counter. You clench your thighs, suddenly aware that you are wet. 

Fuck.  

“You need to focus,” he says low in your ear. You take a shaky breath. 

Focus. How are you supposed to focus when you imagined this exact scenario exactly one minute ago? 

“I, what?” Your words fail you as you stand there, stunned and aroused but also completely confused about what he wants from you. This entire situation is a mindfuck. 

Seokjin’s hands leave your wrists and make their way to your hands as he moves you like a puppet. 

“Y/N, were you even paying attention? We just went over this. God, I swear, I’ve told you. You need to be present in the kitchen space. You’re lucky I resheathed the knife for you while you were on another planet. You could have easily gotten hurt.” Seokjin scolds you overhead. 

Oh. You look to the right and see the kitchen knife you were using back in its protective shell and not where you left it, which, come to think of it, was incredibly close to where your hands were now on the counter under Seokjin’s. Yikes. 

“Sorry,” you mutter, feeling a prick of shame seeping through the fog. Seokjin isn’t trying to fuck you against the counter; he’s trying to make sure you don’t cut your finger off. 

He tuts above you, his grip still firm as he directs you to the uncut carrots and chopping board. 

“Tsk, honestly. You’re ridiculous. What am I going to do if my best girl is hospitalized after losing her hand because she’s too busy daydreaming about snow storms instead of having basic kitchen awareness? You know, I could send you home over this. Make you unable to come back until you rewatch those kitchen safety videos with the fake blood and awful actors. Seriously.” 

You shiver at his words. He’s so busy setting up for a rant, you almost miss it. 

“Your best girl?” You ask lightly. 

Seokjin stills, your joined hands hovering over the cutting board. “Oh, uh. You know what I mean. You’re the best….girl we have on staff. You know.”

You don’t. You’re far from the best girl on staff. Seha has a degree in culinary arts. She’s usually the one who has everything prepped days ahead with perfectly formed cuts. She manages the kitchen cleanliness with rigidness. She even barks orders at Seokjin when he’s in the kitchen because he isn’t as clean as her. 

If she wasn’t out with the flu, none of this work would even need to be done. Maybe Seokjin is getting sick too. He’s been feverish looking and a little uneasy around you all morning, and clearly he’s now being delusional.

“Ah,” you concede, and give your hands a shake to urge him to continue. 

“Right, anyway. You’re getting better at your cuts, but I’m losing money quickly with all your sacrifices to the floor goblins. And we don’t have much time left before the others start coming in, so let’s finish this up.” 

You let Seokjin guide you, literally hand-over-hand, as he restructures your positioning on the knife and angle of the blade to slice through the carrots a lot more cleanly and easily. 

“That’s it, good. You’re doing such a good job,” he breathes. 

You feel his exhale along your spine. God, you’re a pervert. He’s just trying to help you better yourself, and all you’re thinking about is how dominating he seems right now and how much you want to please him. 

God, if he calls you a good girl you know you’re going to moan audibly. That’s how bad he’s got you.

You keep working, and once you get the hang of it, Seokjin’s grip loosens, allowing you to finish the bag by yourself. But his hands are still on yours, even if you’re the one in control. 

After a while though, it’s becoming too much to handle. Him bent over you like this is limiting your range of motion, making it hard to wipe the sweat on your hands or move your scrap pile further down the counter. 

He’s also a human furnace, the space between you still so limited that you’ve begun sweating under him. 

In one particular cut of carrot, the sweat caused by the joint heat of your hands causes you to lose your grip, shooting it down onto the floor. 

Reflexively, you reach down to grab it, but with Seokjin still attached to you, it proves to be an immediate disaster. 

You throw your body into a bend, which forces you back, your ass grinding directly into Seokjin and being met with something very large. 

You gasp and Seokjin grunts, swiftly releasing your hands, which are actually balancing you in your bend. 

You fall forward, smacking your head into the edge of the counter as you go down. 

The kitchen echoes with an embarrassing clang as your forehead ricochets off the metal. 

“Fuck,” you groan, a sharp pain shooting through you.. 

You scramble to recover, one hand going to your head as you steady yourself, rubbing the soreness. Seokjin flails above you, panicked. 

“Oh shit! Y/N I’m so sorry! Oh my god. Are you okay? I shouldn’t have let go, I just was–” Seokjin rambles as you stare up at him, trying to get him to steel himself. 

“No, fuck, ouch, it’s okay! I’m okay. Seokjin, can you please just get me some ice and help me up?” You aren’t sure you can get yourself up as your vision swirls from the heat of the pain. You really went down hard. 

Seokjin ceases his flailing and shouting, leaning down and picking your body up off the floor with impressive strength and carrying you to a clean workstation in the center of the room. He sits you on top of it, making you now almost his height. 

Holy shit.

Once sure you’re not at risk of flopping over, he walks over to the ice maker with a clean kitchen cloth and folds some ice cubes inside. 

You reach for the cloth, but he refuses to hand it over. 

“Yah! No. Please let me do this, I can see the bump forming already. I’m the one who caused your injury.” He gingerly lays the cold cloth against your head. You wince. 

“‘Snot your fault,” you pout, trying to ignore the pain. “It was an accident. No one caused it.” 

Seokjin sighs and places his free hand behind your head, discouraging you from angling away like you’ve subconsciously been doing. 

“It is my fault. I let go of you. After just lecturing you about kitchen safety. God, what kind of example am I setting? I’m really sucking at this boss thing.” 

You reach up, placing your hand on Seokjin’s wrist to remove it from the ice. But he doesn’t relent. You keep your hold. 

“Seokjin, you’re not a bad boss. God you’re literally the opposite. Everyone here loves you. You’ve only been the manager for a little while. Give yourself some time. And keep in mind both of your parents ran this place, and now it’s down to just you.” 

You feel the tendons under his wrist adjust, his grip a little looser. Seokjin’s wrists are soft and tan, a thin coating of hair trailing up his forearms and under his sleeve. Your grip loosens too, and you let your thumb brush back and forth through the hair. 

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t supposed to be the manager. My brother was supposed to manage the restaurant when my parents were ready to retire. That was always the plan, anyway. But things change. When they were getting their apartment ready for my nephew to arrive, I think they realized how tight space can be living in the city. We grew up in an apartment complex not too far from here and it always felt like we were on top of each other. 

“Which, we kind of were. My brother and I shared this tiny room that had bunk beds, and we lived that way until he went away to college. I used to always smack my head against the ceiling when I was a teenager and woke up in the middle of the night. My forehead would get huge bruises on it, probably a lot like the one you’re going to have on your head.” He frowns. 

“I guess my brother didn’t want to see his kids living like that either. I never minded it so much, but maybe that’s because I was the younger one. Not having any privacy during puberty or dealing with me during puberty was probably a nightmare for him.”

You shoot him a sympathetic smile. “It was nice of you to take over on his behalf then. I know you used to work for major companies in the business district downtown. This must have felt like a sacrifice.” 

Seokjin’s arm falls away from your head, your soft caress pulling away with it. He sets the cloth down next to you. He worries his bottom lip into his mouth and then shakes his head. 

“No, it was never like that. I’m sure eomma filled everyone and their brother’s ears with stuff about me. ‘Seokjin is our business minded son! He’ll make a great leader!’ ‘Seokjin is talented in the kitchen and spent his whole life working for us. We trained him well!’ ‘Don’t worry about him abusing his power. He knows exactly how it is for everyone!’” Seokjin’s says, his voice inotating the same pattern of his mother. 

“Well, she wasn’t wrong. You are all those things,” you argue, lacing your fingers in his. You know it’s not necessarily appropriate behavior between a boss and his employee, but at this moment, you’d argue Seokjin needs a friend more than anything. 

“I’m not, though, Y/N. I didn’t sacrifice anything to do this. It wasn’t some great act of loyalty where the son with a promising future gives up his dream for his family business. In fact I had to beg my parents to let me work here! Because I, their failure of a son, lost everything and had nowhere else to go! And the shit I ended up doing to even keep myself afloat…I’m not a great leader. I’m nothing more than a fraud.”

Seokjin rakes his free hand through his hair. 

“I had a good life before this Y/N. A good job, a nice house, a fi-...just..I was living a dream that I no longer have for myself is all. But at the time I was on top of the world and now I feel like such a fucking failure.” 

Seokjin looks like he’s falling apart, eyes darting madly as he shifts around, suddenly transforming into nothing like his usual cool, goofy self. 

You need to stop this from getting worse. To distract him and stop him from talking himself into a pit of despair. If Seokjin’s mouth is occupied somehow, he can’t continue with all the negative self-talk. 

A stupid idea flashes in your head. You don’t even think before you roll with it. 

“Jesus, I can’t even manage properly. I messed up Mino’s paycheck a few weeks ago and I’m still not sure how it happened. I’m just not–”

Your lips connect with Seokjin’s, your legs wrapping around his waist to tug him closer as you move your body against his. Seokjin returns the kiss in earnest, parting his mouth to welcome your tongue as you lap the words out of his mouth. 

His plush lips feel so soft against yours, his taste a bit bitter from the coffee you both drank earlier, but you find yourself craving more of it, sucking his bottom lip into your mouth with the hope that maybe you can absorb it. 

Seokjin groans in response, gripping your hand tighter, his other settling on your lower back as he pulls you closer. If you didn’t know any better, you’d swear every atom in your body is vibrating at a higher frequency from his touch. You want to feel him everywhere. 

You break the kiss, and see Seokjin’s eyelids are heavy, almost like he’s drunk. You’re about to move back in, to tongue along his sweaty, long neck, suck on his protruding Adam’s apple. 

That’s when you hear it. The slam of the back door as your coworkers arrive.

Seokjin jolts back, breaking the hold you have around his waist with your legs. 

His mouth looks a little red and swollen. And his eyes are wide, panic flashing across his face. 

“I–I’m sorry!” 

Before you can reassure him, tell him that you’re the one who should be sorry, you started this, who crossed this line between boss and employee by kissing him, Seokjin bolts from the kitchen. 

You sit for a minute, stunned, and then look around, taking in the scene around you. The carrot shavings all over the counter, the discarded one still on the floor. Your knife is unsheathed again. There’s containers of tofu and seaweed just abandoned in a pile next to a large pot. 

And you can feel the puddle forming under you from where the ice has begun to melt. What the fuck just happened? What mess did you just get yourself into? 

The rest of your shift, you’re anxious. Especially because you’re short-staffed due to the weather forecast, which has led to three call-outs from people who commute from across town. That means you’re performing multiple roles: taking orders, bussing tables, seating customers, and getting appetizers, drinks, and side dishes ready for each group of people coming through the door. 

Seokjin was right in his prediction; you guys are slammed. And because there’s less staff, that means Seokjin is orbiting around you, following behind with cleaning rags as you finish bussing or running into you in the narrow doorway as you both attempt to fetch an order from the kitchen. You’re both flushed and sweating, the hairs on the back of your neck now matted down. 

Your mind is swirling around that kiss and its consequences, but you don’t have time to lose focus; the minute you finish one thing, you’re pulled into another task for a temporary distraction.

Only to be thrust back into the reminder of this morning when Seokjin lightly caresses the small of your back as he squeezes behind you to grab more plates. 

If either of you ever need a break, you don’t say so, only pausing in between rushes to pee, take a bite of something, and chug water before you’re thrown back out into the mess. 

Finally, after you elect to work a double, it’s closing time.

“Y/N!” Seokjin calls you from the front as you scrub the grime off a stack of dirty dishes.

Your pulse quickens. You’re the last one here. The storm kicked up an hour ago, and since you live the closest, you shoved your coworkers out the door so they could get home before the roads were a mess. 

You dry your hands on your messy apron, pulling out your phone and wincing at the slew of missed calls, texts and notifications. You were supposed to stream again tonight with a bunch of other girl gamers as a part of a “Galentine's Day” collab, playing dating simulation games as a warm up before jumping into some first person shooters. 

You’d reached out to cancel once you saw the stress tugging at Seokjin’s face, his jaw set, his brow constantly furrowed. While the other streamers were completely understanding, you still have a ton of notifications from your social channels asking if you are okay and some texts from Wonwoo and a few other friends asking the same. 

You’ll fill them in later. But now, you have to face Seokjin. 

He’s sitting at a freshly wiped-down table, counting the drawers and preparing the deposit slip. 

He ushers you over and gestures at the stack of cash, silently asking you to verify his numbers. You comply, the room silent less the shuffling of bills or coins under your fingertips and your habitual mouthing of the numbers to ensure you don’t lose count. 

He nods at your final calculation, jotting the number down on the sheet and placing the bills together. You turn and begin to head back to the kitchen. 

“Wait,” he says, and you freeze. 

Your stomach is quickly turning into a bundle of knots. You suck your lips into your mouth as you spin back around, Seokjin’s eyes meeting yours. 

“I…” Seokjin takes a deep breath before continuing. “Listen. I’m really sorry about this morning. Today’s just been a whole mess and I really shouldn’t have been airing my frustrations to an employee like that. It was inappropriate and immature. I know better than to behave this way.”

Did you say your stomach was in knots? You mean it’s filled with heavy, sickening lead. “Oh, right. Uh, don’t. I mean, I started it. I just…you were panicking and I didn’t know what to do and I thought maybe this would help.” 

Seokjin’s brow furrows, a frown on his face. “Why are you apologizing when I’m clearly the one in the wrong here? Ah, no let me finish! I’ve always prided myself on my professionalism and ability to keep personal matters out of my work. And I failed in doing so, which takes advantage of you since I’m your superior. You not only felt a need to comfort me but also stop me from spinning out. I’m truly sorry Y/N, about the oversharing and the um, kiss. I definitely gave into my emotions in a moment of weakness. Please forgive me, I promise I will never touch you again. This won’t happen again.” 

His head droops and he looks down, clearly ashamed.

Oh. So he doesn’t want this. Which, why would he? He’s right in that he’s your boss, and clearly Seokjin values his reputation and his job because they’re a reflection of not just him, but his family. Why risk that with someone like you?

You swallow the lump in your throat along with any response. There is the boundary, you know better than to cross it. 

As you move again, Seokjin rises from the table. “Y/N…you know what? You go home. The storm is really coming down.”

“But, there’s still mopping and all those dishes left,” you croak. Your voice is so hoarse from being dehydrated and talking all day that you barely recognize it as your own. 

“Don’t worry about those. You look and sound exhausted. It’s not your job to take care of everything. Go home, enjoy your romantic snowy trek,” he smirks, “and get some much needed rest. You’ve more than earned it.”

When you arrive home, your body slugs onto your bed, finally giving into the fatigue you’ve ignored all day. Your feet ache, your stomach now settled enough from your walk that you are starving. And you smell awful. 

As much as you want to fall asleep, you know that you at the very least need to eat something. 

With a groan, you rise, hobbling to your kitchen to make some instant ramyeon. The collab stream is now over, you learned this while finally checking your phone on your way home and seeing a thank you message blasted out by one of the streamers. Oh well. 

You suppose you could get back to your book, see what Prince August and his lover are getting up to in their reunion, but that seems like more brain power than you’re willing to give. 

You elect to eat, then take a shower, rinsing the grime of the day off you. When you step out of the shower, you see an ugly looking bump and purple bruise on your forehead. 

That’s right, you’d already forgotten about your injury from earlier. You touch it lightly and recoil from the sharp pain. Damn, maybe you should’ve checked to see if you were concussed earlier. You didn’t realize you hit your head that hard. 

You decide to ice it before bed, crawling under your covers and trying to rest while you play back your day. 

How you started is so significantly different from where you are now. When you woke up, you were eager and excited to be around Seokjin, to learn new skills and feel light and warm in his presence. Now, the idea of going back to work in a few days, to have to muddle through the rejection you got tonight and try to get back to a baseline makes you feel nauseous. 

Seokjin wants to make this all water under the bridge, and you want to do that for him. But it’s nearly impossible when he’s, well, him. He doesn’t understand how much more difficult it’s going to be to look at him because you’re not walking around with a face like that: perfectly balanced and delicate features and a full, delicious set of lips. 

God, he really did taste fantastic. You wonder what would’ve happened if you two weren’t interrupted. Would giving into his emotional need for comfort have given you more? You know it’s wrong to think about, because you're the one who took advantage of him, not the other way around. 

He can say he took advantage of you with his power imbalance or whatever, but you’re the one who was seconds away from licking down that thick neck or grinding back onto that massive cock. 

Fuck, that’s right, Seokjin is huge under all those clothes and your ass got to experience rubbing against it today. And maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but he seemed like he was a little hard. 

If Mino and the others had been just a little later, you might have seen it. They might have walked in on you on your knees as you choked on it, Seokjin’s moans and whines echoing in the kitchen. 

Because now from kissing him, you got a taste of those little noises he makes. And the memory has you becoming slick and needy. 

It’s late. Too late to read your smutty book, especially since you’re not at the next smutty scene yet. August and his beloved are just reuniting. You’re sure it’s bound to be good, but you don’t have that kind of patience right now. You need to cum, to get your ideas about Seokjin and what he firmly set as a boundary out of your head once and for all. 

Which means you need to give your fantasy of him out of your head too. You shove the ice pack you’ve been holding to your head aside, ready to relieve some tension. 

You reach under your shirt and gasp when the chill of your icy hand plucks at one of your nipples. Yes, you need more of this. 

You touch the other one with your other hand, disappointed that it’s warm. And then you get a fantastic idea. You grope around for a moment until you feel the cold cloth housing the ice cubes from your freezer and pluck one out. It melts quickly in your hand, but the cold water is stimulating as you feel it run down your forearms, a droplet or two rushing down and reaching the heat of your armpit. You pull the large shirt you use as pajamas  up further with your other hand, fully exposing your chest and stomach to the chilly air of your apartment.  

The ice cube drips over your navel. You hiss as the new sensation floods your core with warmth. Some of the water pools in your belly button, a satisfying dampness taking over your body. Then, you drip the melting ice cube onto each nipple and relish how erect and sensitive they’ve become from your arousal. 

Your breasts are plush, something you love to grab and tug as you play with yourself. They’re heavy, the weight of gravity tugging them down instead of staying up as porn once made you believe was possible. 

You can understand why people sometimes get caught up playing with tits all the time. They’re arguably fun to play with. 

As the ice cube warms and shrinks, you become more curious, taking it between your fingers and swirling it directly over each nipple, a shock of cold hitting them and your hips bucking in pleasure. More. Whatever you’re feeling right now, you need more of it. 

You rip your sleep shorts and panties off in desperation, splaying your legs open and aiming yourself up so the last drips of the ice cube can fall directly onto the folds of your pussy, a few dribbles landing right on your aching clit. 

Heat, that’s what you actually feel. Fire and ice swirling together in a decadent and hot pleasure. You reach over and grab another cube, this time skipping the teasing and touching the ice right to your clit. It’s a lot. Too much. Not enough. The pain shooting through your clit is also full of so much pleasure and you don’t want to stop. 

You rock against your hand, rubbing your clit with your fingers as the ice melts, mixing the wetness of the water with your own, getting you messier, hotter, hungrier. 

The memory of Seokjin holding the ice pack flits through your head, how cold his one hand was as it held yours, similar to the chill of your own hand as you grind it against your pussy. You need something inside of you. Now. 

And unfortunately for you, all your toys are currently dirty. When you finished streaming last night, you made good on your promise to fuck yourself until you passed out, which means your collection of dildos and vibrators are now discarded in a pile next to your bed that you’d intended to wash after work today. 

You insert a finger and sigh. It’s not enough. The angle is too awkward and you can’t get far enough in. Seokjin’s hands are much larger than yours, capable of pumping his long fingers deep within you, to get to the part of your core that is aching. If he were here right now, he could be itching that scratch, a smug look on his face as he comments on how soaking wet you are for him and commands you to cum. 

Ugh. You said you wouldn’t think of him, yet here he is again, stirring up inside your fantasies. You can’t give in, you need to distract yourself, look at another face so you can feel motivation. 

You remove your fingers, wipe them on the damp washcloth next to you, and reach over on your side table for your laptop. 

You don’t watch a lot of porn, finding the videos often too fake, but you’re desperate. You scroll through the website, quickly losing some of your arousal as you click through pages of straight porn, the ones you know that will have some awful plot, or the woman has some nasal and fake moan that kills your buzz. Or the guys are so ugly, proving that porn always has the male gaze in mind. 

You just need to cum. Today has been awful enough, and knowing you have to stream tomorrow again is already causing you to wind up. No, this is necessary stress relief. An unwinding. Make it dirty and to the point. 

You click over into the other categories. You need just a man, someone else who isn’t Seokjin. You hover over the male masturbation tag, still disappointed. Then you see a banner ad for a camming site: Worldwide Handsome, Hunks From Around the Globe. That, you think, seems more promising. 

Live cams are interactive, more with immediacy. Usually the guys on them are hot or gay or both and just ready to jack off for money and give in to some dirty talk. Even the gay camboys don’t always care if women are viewing. Money is money. 

You click the banner, praying this doesn’t immediately give your computer a hundred viruses that will delete all your coursework you’ve saved to the harddrive. 

Luckily, it’s a legitimate website, much like OnlyFans, just with the emphasis on queer men from every country. You might just be saved. 

There are so many categories to choose from: couples, kinks, trans, bisexual, furries, just chatting, BDSM, interactive games, private rooms. It’s a little overwhelming. You select the “solo” tab, which, of course, has the most videos under it, and begin exploring. 

You click on one that seems promising, but quickly exit out because the user has fallen asleep and it feels too intimate. 

In another, the streamer is yelling at his chat for outting him to his parents, and you exit out of that as well. 

You’re about to give up when you refresh the page, but then a recently started stream catches your eye. It’s quickly gaining views, and has a little “1” next to it, probably to indicate that this streamer is the most popular one in his category. 

The title for the stream is Unwind with me. Late night play with Daddy which makes your core throb a little with promise. The thumbnail is black, which is a little odd, but you’re curious who this “Daddy” is and how he plans on helping his viewers unwind. Because that is exactly what you need. In his associated tags, there’s a tiny banner at the bottom that urges you forward “all genders welcome”. 

You click the link, and the video itself is black, but there’s still hundreds of comments fluttering through the chat. Is your stream broken? This sometimes happens when you stream too, but after a quick refresh you realize that the screen isn’t black. There’s a little bit of light pouring through whatever is covering the camera, detecting some movement through the veil. 

“You don’t know how stressed I am today,” a low voice groans. 

Whoa. You lean closer, tapping the volume button on your laptop to the max and leaning back. God, whoever this guy is, he sounds hot. This might actually work to get you off and get over Seokjin.

You balance your laptop on your knees and roll your hand down your stomach and between your legs, finding your aching clit and sighing as you delight in your touch. 

“I know we don’t always play games like this baby. I know you usually like it when I beg. But I can’t play like that today. It’s been so long since I got to fall back into what I desperately, absolutely need.”

His voice is so seductive yet also comforting in a way that’s familiar. You feel more of your arousal dripping out of you, and you scoop it up to swirl it around your clit, feeling a little twinge of that white hot pleasure return to you. 

“And what I need is to take the edge off, to remind all of you who is in charge. Some of you have been very, very bad lately. Haven’t I given you enough? A two-year anniversary stream? I gave you all my cum didn’t I? All of it.” 

The chat is going nuts, comments replying with “yes Daddy” accompanying tips that vary from twenty bucks to one thousand dollars spilling in. You check his timestamp. He’s only been live for five minutes and he’s already getting this much? Even your most successful streams take hours to reach a little over a thousand after royalty cuts. 

To his credit, though, if you had a grand to drop on him, you just might, and that’s going by his sexy voice alone.

“I let you watch me spill from my cock, let you see me touch myself. And you were greedy. Don’t think I don’t know what you did. I saw your questioning comments, trying to shame me for muttering someone’s name in pleasure. But I’m not ashamed. I’m proud.”

Fuck, what you would do to have this guy moan your name. You feel your orgasm approaching and rub yourself harder, a soft squelch echoing through your room.

“You took what I gave you for granted, you fucking whores. And now, you need to be punished.” 

You’re so close, the little peaks of pleasure starting to build up higher in intensity. 

The mystery man stops talking, and you along with the chat, begging for more. 

“Please,” you moan at your screen. 

Suddenly, you hear it, a wet, slick sound. Fuck, is he touching himself? 

“It’s been a long day. All day, I was working and I was so horny because some people in this world can’t stop fucking teasing me, tempting me to punish them, just like you.”

You feel the tremor of your first orgasm, but it’s not as sharp, more like a hint of what is to come. You pinch your clit between your fingers, sighing a little bit at the relief of pressure.

“You’ve all been very bad. And until you show me you can be good, I’m going to pump my cock and not let any of you see. You think you can do that? You think you can be my good little subs and prove to me you’ll behave?”

Oh god. Fuck. He’s insane, he’s so hot and insane, and you’re also insane, nodding along. The condescension is so hot, and it reminds you of earlier in the kitchen, when Seokjin scolded you for not being safe with the knife. His voice got rough just like this guy. And it makes you feel so needy and desperate. 

Please, you beg silently, just like how you did this morning. I’ll do anything. 

Almost as if he knows this, you hear a moan carry through your speakers. You assume he’s reading the comments and tips with promises to behave. You clench around nothing, really wishing at least one of your toys was clean for you to use to feel less empty. You’re never falling asleep without washing them again. 

“Good, that’s what I like to see. Now remember, you don’t get to cum until I get to cum. Go ahead and play with yourself for me, get yourself all worked up. And then be good and listen. I’ll tell you what to do next.” 

Whoops. Well, the first one didn’t count. You aren’t satisfied. 

He groans, signaling that he’s stroking himself again, rough jerks you can hear from the way his hands are sliding over his (you assume) lubed cock. 

“You want to see me cum? You want to earn it all over you? You know what you have to do, my pretty little subs. Work for it. And not a penny less.” 

In a frenzy, the tip jar continues to buzz in the bottom corner, the graphic of coins depositing into it glitching out a bit as it fails to keep up with the volume of tips. While he’s the most popular streamer on this site, it’s not as though the website is the only one of its kind, and that means that his couple hundred viewers are putting in the work and the cash. 

You watch the numbers rise next to the tip jar as his subs showcase their double entendre: both his subscriber count soars and his comments flood with loyal submissives.

Please, Daddy. Please let me cum. 

I’m sorry Daddy. I’ll be good, I swear. 

Remove the blindfold please! I need to see your big cock! 

Ah, it’s a blindfold. Of course. 

The graphic of the jar changes, exploding and sending animated dollars and coins across the screen. This is wild. His viewers have already met the milestone. They’ve just raised ten grand in less than 15 minutes. That has to be some kind of record. 

He tuts and the sound of it punches your gut. Why does he sound so familiar?  “Tsk, that wasn’t so hard, was it? I knew you could do it. You want my forgiveness that badly, huh? Okay, I’ll give you what you need. I’ll forgive you.” 

Your pussy is throbbing. You’ve had to scale back the touching, feeling a weird sense of obedience to this camboy that you can’t describe. 

There’s a ruffling sound and the camera jolts before light pours into view, a blur of shapes and colors you can’t make out greeting you until it comes into focus and you’re met with a massive, leaking cock. 

“Holy shit,” you moan, finding your footing on your bed and moving your resting hand from your inner thigh back to your clit. 

The camera is framed from the user’s toned abs down to just the top of his thighs, showing off his heavy, tight balls and red, angry tip. 

“Is this what you’re begging for?” 

Yes, you shudder a breath. Yes. 

Large hands with long knobby fingers run along his thighs, one sweeping under to cup his balls while the other works his shaft, thumb sliding over his slit to rub precum around the tip. 

“Alright, then.” He begins pumping, smooth, tight jerks that have him squeezing his length and encouraging more strands of precum to leak out. He falls into a steady rhythm and you mirror the pace on your clit, gasping for breaths as you become all the more sensitive now that you have a visual to follow. 

“My face? Oh, no. You didn’t earn the right to see that. Don’t start with me. If you want to see my face when I cum, you have to reach the next milestone. You know the rules.” 

You don’t know the rules, but you hope someone else will be desperate enough to reach it for you. You’re dying to know what he looks like. 

Almost instantly, the money animation explodes on the screen again. A $5000 tip. Jesus Christ.

“Ah, of course mapl3stor33, I should’ve known it was you. Always so good to me.  Because of you I got to get that new collector figurine. Thank you. Well everyone, because of mapl3’s generosity and mmm…loyalty…fuck. I guess I’ll let you get your full fantasy. Let you see my face as you imagine you get to make a mess of me, milk my fucking cock all over you and let me make a mess of you.” He’s moaning as he speaks, pausing between sentences to pump himself harder as he gives “Maple” a proper shout out. 

Your cheeks heat in embarrassment. It’s one thing for you to create the fantasy, but him acknowledging it with some judgment, as though you’re not good enough to even fantasize about him, it’s leading you quicker to your undoing. 

His pace builds to a heavy, slick rut. His hands are slightly red, almost like how yours looked after washing the dishes before Seokjin kicked you out. 

Wait. Red hands. His look similar to Seokjin’s, with the same knobby long fingers. And the figurine and Maple…like, MapleStory? 

There’s no way. No, you’re clearly just losing it with your fantasies. This one is taking it too far. 

“Fuck, yeah that’s it baby. Touch yourself. Be good for me. Where do you want my cum? Oh, you dirty slut, fuck, yes. Okay, I’ll cum all over myself. Just for you. Shit. Almost, come on.”

Your fingers are still following his lead, unable to stop, so close to finishing, to the release. 

He moans, his hands blurring as he strokes fast and hard, jerking into himself. And that’s when you know. You heard that moan. You caused that moan. 

With a final solid, slightly whiny grunt, he backs up. His face coming into frame, and the first strands of thick white release cascades across Seokjin’s chest as you focus in on the pure bliss washing over him, his head thrown back and mouth shaped into a delicious “o”. 

“Oh, fuck. Take it, take my cum. Yes, that’s it. That’s my best girl, so good for me. Such a good girl.” 

The second you hear the praising fall from Seokjin’s mouth, he takes you over the edge with him. Your body rockets into your orgasm with a heavy clench of your core, feet losing their solid hold below you as you begin to shake and succumb to the feeling. 

You’ve unwound, the tension of your body unfurling as you’re cast out to sea, your body bobbing along each wave with a newfound euphoria. Out here on the water, the world is silent except the ring in your ears. You bask in the peaceful ebb until you feel a tingling in your fingertips and toes calling you back, forcing breath back into your lungs with a heavy pant. 

Once you recenter, you gaze back at the stream, confirming that this is the smiling and grateful Seokjin you just saw three hours ago. 

He called you a good girl. He came all over his sweaty chest. And he’s the top streamer on a gay sex cam site. 

©2024 by jooniperbonsai

[eschergirls]

It's been 2 weeks and it's almost Halloween so it's time to announce the winners of the spooky October caption contest!

We had a lot of submissions and they were all really good, so like last month, I'll pick 3 winners (in order) and 3 honorable mentions.

Each winner will get to choose a prize if they wish (but you don't have to, you can just participate for fun too.)  The prizes are extra Steam codes that I've acquired through bundles over the years and I figure that giving them out for contests would be fun.  If you won and want a prize, please contact me. Honorable mentions can get a prize if any of the winners decline (I will contact you if that happens).  

Anyway here are the entries, as usual, grouped by the platform they were submitted on:

Fedi/Mastodon:

Dollcomics: Even with insurance, a comic book heroines back surgery always cost an arm and a leg Ordinating Aether Show: Sex (as depicted in an abstinence-only textbook)

Disqus:

Demma10: "... But it's the pelvic thrust, that will make you go insane (and lose your hips or limbs). Let's, do, the (battle) time warp, again." P J Evans: "Die, cursed arm, DIE!"

Tumblr:

atomicmosaic: perspective so bad I can't even tell whose ass is supposed to be whose atomicniire: "thank god this flying body part is covering up my massive boner" auronlu: "Internal organs!" she thought, hacking and chopping in such a frenzy of despair that her vertebrae rattled like the overtaxed joints of a 1980a snake puzzle. "If I can't have any, why should they!?" elkian: Gloria hates it when the sound stage gets double-booked, but she is scheduled to rehearse 2 hours of opera practice and no amount of zombie gorefest is going to stop her, goddammit! fyrenwater: "No, I said PUMPKIN carving, not bumpkin carving!" glidingisindeedfaster: "I’LL BE THE FIRST ONE IN THE WORM POSE CONTEST AND YOU GUYS CAN’T STOP MEEEEE" harukami: The halftime show got weirder every year. karltface: But it was just as she had feared: despite adopting ever more ridiculous fighting styles, her skill was so great, there was no threat, no challenge, no pride in any fight. The genie had been right to laugh. milkawa-and-co: "Come on ! Killing 1200 zombies with the Butt Thrust Spell and the Golden Sexy Armor is the last succes I need to platinium this game !" silveraptor: “TV Tropes calls this the ‘Interplay of Sex and Violence’ I call this ‘what happens when a comic book artist mixes up their Work and “Taxes” folders’.” swanfink: "And it's the pelvic thruuust~ That really drives you insa-a-a-ane~!" thecomicsrack: Plasticine Lass v The Evil Dead thevikingfish-nimhrodell: "Ohhhhh, I'm in the fight,  my hips don't lie, I'm stabbin' to kill this guy.  Put him in traction, after i hack him. Mauling zombies, yes, this is perfection!" vis-a-vi: "Please turn your attention to the figure on the left wielding a club. Note that he has no nipple on his left side. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk." zombiemollusk: me and the boys havin a wild gore-gy

The honorable mentions go to: Dollcomics, @fyrenwater, and @zombiemollusk

The runner-ups are:

In third place: @thevikingfish-nimhrodell

In second place: @harukami

And the winner is... Ordinating Aether Show: Sex (as depicted in an abstinence-only textbook)

Congrats to the winners and thank you and a Happy Early Halloween to everybody who submitted a caption!  The captions were also really good this month too!

Please stay tuned for a new caption contest in November!

If you won and would like a Steam code as a prize, please message me with which prize you would like.  If you came in 2nd, message me with 2 choices in order of preference...  I'll give you your top choice that hadn't been taken by the other winners. (To clarify, every winner only gets 1 prize, but winners other than the one in first place should give me their list of games in order of preference so if one is taken, I'll give you the next on the list.  It makes it easier for me to hand out the prizes.)

If the winner or the runner ups don't claim a prize, then the honorable mentions get a prize if they want one.

The Steam codes I have available as prizes are for: Aragami, Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3, Hotel Giant 2, I Am Fish, Ittle Dew 2+, My Time At Portia, Riot: Civil Unrest, Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun, Survivalist, Trifox, Tunche, and Uncertain: Light At The End.

[unknown171204]

A First Winning Attempt

Technically the very first musical " Made in France "

For the first time, France will see the birth of its first REAL musical show which will be neither an opera nor an operetta

But for now this entertainment revolution exists only in the form of a simple disc without great ambition ...

To capture the audience's attention, several pop stars of the time were invited to lend their voices :

Alain Bashung as Robespierre

Antoine as Napoleon

And the Charlots as the priests

Also noteworthy is the minor participation of Daniel Balavoine, then unknown, in the chorus; he would have to wait for Another Musical to shine as a soloist )

The story follow the impossible love story of Charles Gauthier, a poor boy from the shallows , for Isabelle de Montmorency, daughter of aristocrats during the terrible events of 1789

( This plot will be plagiarized without any embarrassment by " 1789 les Amants de la Bastille" many years later , I'll probably talk about it one day so stay tuned :)

The album was a surprise succes

Such a success that a stage adaptation was mounted and then performed at the Palais des Sports with the presence of Alain Bashung still in his role as Robespierre, then at the Théâtre Mogador the following year with a new troupe and without the stars of the record

Despite its success , the show was not recorded

All that remains is the original album and some archive video :

The full album :

Today, this show has fallen into oblivion, with no attempt at reviving it until 2024

To celebrate the fiftieth anniversary of the original album, Pierre-Ammar Chala will revive it at the Théâtre du Treizième Art

With new female characters and multidisciplinary musician singers :

The path to my MASTERLIST

[dearweirdme]

I thought Tae is the most popular member until his solo releases. He literally has the richest fanbases. They always pull the most expensive birthday projects for him. Tae also has the most liked photos on ig, most followers, most streamed fancams, etc., but i guess most of his stans are just there for the visuals. I thought he could easily accumulate huge streams, but despite the excuse of only being able to prepare for 2 days, I thought he could’ve done better. I’m a Tae stan and I’ve been streaming nonstop since the release of his first song, so I wonder where are his others stans are. He couldn’t even stay at number 1 on US itunes. His fanbases have been saving up since years ago, but I guess there are just no demands. His album and songs have been one of the most anticipated, and though they’re not gp-friendly, with his fanbase, I’m surprised he did not pull such huge numbers. It’s so disappointing to say the least. I want him to achieve great numbers, too. 🥺 I read a blog post earlier that his dating rumor has affected him especially in SK. His Kfans are not interested in him anymore. I dunno. It’s just so disheartening coz he prepared so much for this. 😣

Hi anon!

Quality above quantity.

What I don’t really understand is that in the time leading up towards Tae releasing music there has been so much talk about his music probably not being mainstream and that it will show in his numbers. People expected that, and now that it’s here people are talking about him as if he’s failing somehow. I really hope Tae does not see these conversations or that he tunes them out, because I think those things will hurt him. It ties his succes to sales, while the actual appreciation of fans is in how they react to the actual content. And from what I’ve seen is that it’s being received great.

I also think people don’t actually understand that these songs are (imo) not intended to reach huge numbers. They came out too close to each other for that, and the promo is also not been like that. I feel this period is to set the mood. I know it’s new and people aren’t used to it, but I really wish they would show excitement in stead of making this situation negative.

[astrologer04449]

How to Read Kundali Chart: A Beginner’s Guide

Your Kundali is the blueprint of your life. It maps the positions of planets at the time of your birth and reveals vital details about your personality, career, relationships, finances, health, and spiritual path. Learning how to read a Kundali chart helps you understand yourself better and navigate life’s challenges. While reading your chart may seem complex at first, with a little guidance—and the help of a free chat with an astrologer—you can start decoding its secrets.

Let’s explore how to read a Kundali chart step-by-step.

What Is a Kundali Chart?

A Kundali is a visual representation of the sky at your time of birth. It is divided into 12 houses (Bhavas) and shows the signs (Rashis) and planets (Grahas) occupying each house.

👉 Signs (Rashis) – There are 12 signs (Aries to Pisces), each covering 30 degrees of the zodiac.

👉 Houses (Bhavas) – Each house governs a specific life area, like self, family, wealth, marriage, career, etc.

👉 Planets (Grahas) – Planets like Sun, Moon, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, Saturn, Rahu, and Ketu influence your life through their placements.

If you feel confused while looking at your Kundali, start a free chat with an astrologer at AstroSevaTalk for initial guidance.

How to Identify the Ascendant (Lagna)

The Ascendant (Lagna) is the sign rising on the eastern horizon at your birth. It’s the starting point of your Kundali and determines the house structure.

➡ Locate the 1st house (Lagna) in your chart — this house will have a number (1 to 12) indicating the zodiac sign. ➡ The number tells you the sign. For example: 1 = Aries, 2 = Taurus, 3 = Gemini, 4 = Cancer, and so on.

The Ascendant sign sets the theme of your life. To know more about your Lagna's strengths and weaknesses, you can chat with an astrologer for a detailed explanation.

Understanding the 12 Houses and Their Meaning

Here’s a quick overview:

1️⃣ 1st House (Self) – Personality, health, general outlook 2️⃣ 2nd House (Wealth) – Family, speech, finances 3️⃣ 3rd House (Courage) – Siblings, efforts, communication 4️⃣ 4th House (Home) – Mother, property, emotional well-being 5️⃣ 5th House (Creativity) – Children, intellect, love 6️⃣ 6th House (Enemies) – Health, debts, struggles 7️⃣ 7th House (Marriage) – Partnerships, spouse 8️⃣ 8th House (Transformation) – Inheritance, secrets, longevity 9️⃣ 9th House (Fortune) – Luck, spirituality, higher learning 🔟 10th House (Career) – Profession, status 1️⃣1️⃣ 11th House (Gains) – Income, social circle, desires 1️⃣2️⃣ 12th House (Losses) – Expenses, isolation, foreign lands

If you’re unsure how to analyze house significance in your chart, you can talk with an astrologer at AstroSevaTalk for personalized insights.

Reading Planetary Placements

Each planet in a house or sign influences that part of life. For example:

🌞 Sun in 10th house – Strong career, leadership qualities 🌙 Moon in 4th house – Emotional connection to home, caring nature 🔥 Mars in 7th house – Passionate but may face conflicts in relationships

Planetary aspects (drishti) and conjunctions (yuti) add layers to the meaning. These combinations can be subtle and complex, so a free chat with an astrologer can help clarify how planets are interacting in your chart.

The Role of Nakshatras and Degrees

Each planet also resides in a Nakshatra (lunar mansion) and at a specific degree. Nakshatras fine-tune planetary effects and timing of events.

For instance, the Moon in Rohini Nakshatra shows beauty, charm, and attachment to comfort.

To decode Nakshatra effects, most people choose to chat with astrologers, as these details require expert interpretation.

How to Read Dasha (Planetary Periods)

A Kundali chart alone doesn’t predict timing—Dasha (planetary periods) and transits do.

➡ Dasha periods indicate when a planet’s energy is active in your life. ➡ The main Dasha lord and sub-period planets (Antardasha) show timing of events.

For example:

Venus Dasha may bring love, comfort, or artistic success.

Saturn Dasha might bring challenges, discipline, or karmic lessons.

By understanding your Dasha timeline, you can align your actions with favorable periods. If you want to know your current Dasha, you can talk with an astrologer to explore this.

Why It’s Challenging to Read Kundali Without Guidance

Reading your Kundali on your own can be overwhelming because:

🔹 The combinations (yogas) can be intricate. 🔹 Aspects and conjunctions require careful analysis. 🔹 Timing of events depends on Dasha and transits working together. 🔹 Remedies (upayas) should be customized to your specific planetary positions.

That’s why most people prefer to start with a free chat with an astrologer to gain clarity, then deepen their understanding with a talk with an astrologer for personalized solutions.

Benefits of Learning to Read Your Kundali

✅ Gain self-awareness ✅ Make better life decisions ✅ Time your actions for success ✅ Understand relationship patterns ✅ Find remedies for planetary afflictions

At AstroSevaTalk, you can begin with a free chat with an astrologer anytime, and upgrade to voice or video sessions when you’re ready to go deeper.

How to Start Your Kundali Reading Journey

🌟 Visit AstroSevaTalk 🌟 Begin a free chat with astrologer 🌟 Provide your birth details (date, time, place) 🌟 Ask about your Ascendant, houses, planets, and Dasha 🌟 Upgrade anytime to talk with astrologer for deeper interpretation

Final Words

Your Kundali is a cosmic mirror—it reflects your strengths, challenges, and destiny. Learning how to read a Kundali chart is a lifelong journey, but every step brings you closer to understanding yourself and your purpose.

Whether you’re a beginner or simply seeking confirmation of your own analysis, connect with AstroSevaTalk for a free chat with astrologer or upgrade to talk with astrologer to unlock the deeper secrets of your birth chart.

[fellhellion]

I’m not able to watch succ atm but the spoilers filtering down onto my dash have me SO nervous lol lmao even

[transmutationisms]

succ characters fave philosophers, shamelessly inspired by @reasoncourt saying kendall likes nietzsche

kendall: yeah it's nietzsche for sure im not even gonna try to argue with that. he is that guy (derogatory)

roman: doesn't read philosophy proper, but follows an ig account that posts completely decontextualised philosophy quotes of the day. leans accelerationist. once it was a nick land quote and roman experienced emotions about it

shiv: claims it's beauvoir but never made it more than 20 pages into the second sex. she did read the judith jarvis thomson abortion essay in undergrad, though

connor: do i even have to say it. it's jordan peterson. literally don't ask connor about lobsters you'll be here all day. he also owns two different translations of the maxims of la rochefoucauld and he cried when roger scruton got cooked

logan: it used to be tacitus but then ewan said he liked tacitus and logan changed his answer out of spite. now he claims it's sun tzu but he never actually got around to reading the art of war

ewan: says it's tacitus just to piss off logan. probably really into bentham or peter singer though

greg: i just don't think greg reads books i'm sorry. he did google "nero and sporus" once but what he found disturbed him and he just closed the tab and tried not to think about it

willa: sartre

gerri: doesn't have time to read philosophy for real but keeps up with whatever nyt is recommending. probably has a personal relationship with martha nussbaum

tom: ayn rand

nate: nietzsche. kendall used to read it aloud to him in shanghai while they were fucking

stewy: says it's camus just to annoy kendall

jess: says it's nietzsche just to shut kendall up

rava: has banned the word nietzsche from her household. probably into lauren berlant or something

frank: i mean obviously shakespeare. also wittgenstein

karl: wittgenstein to bond with frank, heidegger just because

cyd peach: chomsky but she only read manufacturing consent

marcia: camus but for real. she doesn't know why this pisses kendall off because she tunes him out whenever he's not talking about business

karolina: i think it would be funny if karolina was really into, like, debord and baudrillard and every night she just goes home and looks at herself in the mirror and thinks about the nature of representations and the spectacle and such. she still cashes all her paychecks, though

laird: brian massumi but also just because i think it would be funny

lawrence: would tell kendall it was the marquis de sade, but these days he's actually been more into mark fisher

megathump: the book of job

[romulussy]

the thing about brian cox that's sort of encouraged me to tune him out a lot of times is that the way he speaks about logan sometimes you have to wonder if he's aware he portrayed an abuser. like i understand having to find empathy for the role you play but the way he talks about logan vis a vis his children you'd think the man is not an abusive asshole and it's like okay obviously he has redeeming qualities, he's not a monster but let's not empathize so much we don't see him for what he is

okay real, i’ve thought something similar before. but i guess i’ve also just assumed it’s that thing where people who play evil characters (for want of a better word) empathise and take their character’s side just cause it’s their character. but also tbh i don’t think over-empathising is unique to brian when it comes to the succ cast and there are other cast interviews etc that i read and am like, okay well i understand where you’re coming from and can kinda see it but it doesn’t align with what’s presented on screen. and then other times it’s even a step further where i’m like ? Girl what’s going on in your head cause that is Not how you’re playing it. and i feel like often brian either gets it or he’s firmly in the wtf category lmao

[zengroove]

Look at this dude, he can weld better than I, he joins band n thinks cause he can weld better that means he makes music better. 😆 Unfortunately for him, that's not the case. K and Luna have dat problem. K thinks cause he can lift more he should lead, Luna can eat more macaroni n cheese so she should lead? Unfortunately for both of them how much u lift n how much u can eat has absolutely nothing to do with ya sound or ability as a Musician. Both are hung up on shit that has nothing to do with Music. If I go to dey Hotel for example, help out, I follow dey lead cause dey got the Hotel thing down better than I, when dey come to Music, dey should follow me lead cause dey succ. We don't sell Mac n cheese or lifting we sell songs. It's interesting how I can learn to lift and learn to cook mac n cheese and both of them can't learn 1 fuccing song. Staying focused on bs that has nothing to do with Music. They both struggle to accept when another person is better at something than they are. They don't mind teaching but dey stink at learning and getting taught which is why neither of them can Tune any instrument on planet Earth so dey wanna talk about everything EXCEPT the notes and Music. Cause to speak on the notes is to admit dey don't know the Music or what they're doing Musically, so dey change topic and shift focus but it doesn't hide dey inferior Musical knowledge and skill.

[hiphopscriptures]

Fresh Artist Fridays: Nicky Jam

This week’s Fresh Artist Friday comes with a twist. Today we are featuring Nicky Jam, a Puerto Rican reggaeton artist hailing from Boston, MA. He has just dropped his sixth studio album called INFINITY. Check out a break down of both the album and Nicky Jam’s impressive career below:

INFINITY is Nicky Jam’s most versatile album yet, taking the listener on a trip through all the genres he has mastered throughout his career. Starting with a bang, bringing his old school reggaetón sound to the forefront — yet feeling very current — the album then portrays all the different facets of Nicky’s artistry, from the raw and real rap verses to the romantic and melodic slow-tempo songs that really showcase his singing voice.

INFINITY begins with “Magnum,” an ode to old school reggaetón with a 2021 feel that will make the listener dive into the beats and rhythms and let go of their inhibitions. The track features one of “la nueva’s” (the new generation of reggaetón) most prolific voices, Jhay Cortez, adding his unmistakable style to make this meeting of two generations iconic.

“Tell me what are you going to do because I’m looking for someone who can drive it // I’m going to do to you whatever you let me // And the Magnum that protects me down below // To go all night so you don’t complain,” Nicky begins this cheeky song, while getting the listener in the mood for more, before Jhay Cortez disrupts with his unapologetic verse telling it like it is.

The music video, directed by Ariel Navarrete “NAVS” and produced by Maite Calzacorta with The Way Films, takes place in an underground party where people just enjoy the moment and live with no regrets. Throughout, flashes of both Nicky and Jhay singing on a stage are shown, matching their physical energy to the unparalleled vibes of the song, creating a visual orgasm for a track that is nothing like we’ve ever heard from the two artists.

Following “Magnum” on the album, Nicky Jam tones it down with “Miami” (6 million YouTube views), a slow-tempo romantic reggaeton that talks about missing a woman he met in Miami and the great times they had together. He then slowly turns the beat up again with “Te Hace Falta,” and “Celosa,” which features tropical vibes fused with urban sounds.

Then it’s the turn for “Se De y Se Da,” a more commercial reggaetón where Nicky asks his love interest for forgiveness, alluding that he wants to fix things and give the relationship another try. The track is followed by Nicky Jam and El Alfa’s explosive collaboration “Pikete” (14 million YouTube views), which tells the story of a woman who seems unattainable because of her beauty and attitude.

“Clavo” is up next with a more melodic tune, toning it down a bit to give way to “Te Invito” featuring up-and-coming artist Rios, which starts out as a ballad until the beat drops almost a minute into the song, transforming into a slow-tempo reggaetón that really highlights both artists distinctive voices.

Nicky Jam takes advantage of the mood to give way to “DM” featuring Manuel Turizo, which gets a bit sexier and more mysterious, talking about sliding into a woman’s DMs and trying to seduce her. “Guayaa” follows the story, as if Nicky were telling the listeners that he got the woman, and now they’re dancing, twerking, and having fun, to then give way to “Polvo,” featuring Myke Towers (93 million YouTube views), reminiscing of the fun times that ended, with a potential to reignite the flame.

The temperature rises with “Playa,” then the album takes a seductive turn with “Dándote,” to then surprise the listeners with “Melancolía,” a ballad where Nicky puts his vocal range to full display. He then ends with “Fan De Tus Fotos” featuring The King of Bachata Romeo Santos, a subtle reggaetón full of sensuality and rhythm with Romeo’s unique voice and Nicky’s distinctive flow, wrapping up Nicky’s most diverse, yet authentic project to date.

Besides the album, Nicky Jam also announced his upcoming INFINITY TOUR 2022. This will be Nicky Jam’s first official tour post-pandemic that will hit major cities across the United States and Canada. The tour will kick off in Boston on February 3, 2022, and end in Seattle on March 27, 2022 with stops in New York, Atlanta, Chicago, Toronto, Montreal, Orlando, Houston, Hidalgo, Ontario, Los Angeles, and San Jose. CLICK HERE TO BUY TICKETS.

Check out his music through the links above and connect with Nicky Jam through his socials to make sure you never miss new music. Remember to follow Hip Hop Scriptures to stay updated on the latest Fresh Artist Friday.

ARTIST BIO:

Nick Rivera Caminero, Nicky Jam, is one of the pioneers of Reggaeton in the world. At the age of 11 he recorded his first album called "Diferente a los Demás." Nicky Jam reached the top of his career by achieving several radio hits such as: "Yo no Soy tu Marido," "Me voy Pal Party," "Fiel a tu Piel," "La Combi Completa," among others, that led him to travel the world and become one of the greatest international exponents of the genre. He was forced to stop his career for 3 years due to personal problems. But in 2013, he debuted his new look and came back stronger than ever. He scored five hits on the radio: "Piensas en Mí," "Curiosidad," "Juegos Prohibidos," "Voy a Beber," and the global hit "Travesuras." In February 2015, Nicky Jam teamed up with Enrique Iglesias to release "El Perdón," his most internationally acclaimed single to date. “El Perdón” reached #1 on Billboard's Hot Latin Songs chart for 30 weeks (the second longest single in chart history). In January 2016, Nicky released "Hasta el Amanecer" which also became the biggest Latin song of the year. In 2017 Nicky Jam released his hit "El Amante," and his studio album titled "Fenix." The single "El Amante" quickly became an international success, reaching platinum certification 7 times, as did his album, which was awarded 11 platinum certifications. In 2018 he achieved 3 new Latin Grammy nominations, and collaborated on the song “Te Boté Remix,” which became the most watched video of the year worldwide on YouTube. In addition, Nicky Jam had the honor of singing the official theme of the 2018 FIFA World Cup: “Live It Up,” which he performed alongside Will Smith and Era Istrefi. His autobiographical series “El Ganador” premiered on Netflix at the end of 2019, as well as his seventh studio album “Íntimo.” Nicky Jam returned to the big screens in early 2020 in the sequel "Bad Boys For Life," starring alongside Will Smith and Martin Lawrence.

In 2020, the artist bared his soul with the release of the single “Desahogo” feat. Carla Morrison. Right after, he premiered “Fan de tus fotos” with Romeo Santos (+60 million views on YouTube). Most recently, he released “Pikete” with the master of the dembow El Alfa, a solo single “Miami,” and a collaboration with Musicólogo, “No Hay Fallo.”

EXTENDED BIO:

Nick Rivera Caminero, known as Nicky Jam, is recognized around the world as a pioneer of Latin Urban music. Born in 1981 in Boston, he moved with his family to Puerto Rico when he was just a boy. At the age of 11, he recorded his first album “Diferente a Los Demás” (Different From the Rest), which attracted the attention of DJs and artists on the island. 

As a young adult, Nicky Jam quickly rose to the top of his genre with radio hits including “Yo No Soy Tu Marido,” “Me Voy Pa’l Party,” “Fiel A Tu Piel,” and “La Combi Completa,” among others. He toured the world and became one of Latin urban music’s first international stars.

Just as he was enjoying his hard-earned accomplishments, his life took a 180-degree turn. Suddenly, instead of being on stage, he was in prison, and he fell into a deep depression. Finally, after three years out of the limelight, Nicky Jam performed a show in Colombia. There, he found an audience that was ready to give him a second chance. He vowed to show his fans that he had escaped drugs and alcohol. With discipline and hard work, he began to make up for lost time. 

He soon decided to move to Colombia to rebuild his career. In 2012, he created a low-budget music video that went on to rack up over 15 million views on YouTube. In 2013, he debuted his new image and returned stronger than ever. He notched five radio hits: “Piensas en Mí,” “Curiosidad,” “Juegos Prohibidos,” “Voy a Beber,” and the global hit “Travesuras.” At the time, “Travesuras” was Nicky’s international comeback hit, and after a 10-year absence from the charts, it peaked at #4 on Billboard’s Hot Latin Songs. His social media following grew 3000 percent by late 2014, making him one of Latin urban music’s most talked-about and respected artists.

In February 2015, Nicky Jam teamed up with Enrique Iglesias to release “El Perdón,” his most internationally acclaimed single to date. Tallying over 1 million YouTube views on the day of its release, “El Perdón” was #1 on Billboard’s Hot Latin songs charts for 30 weeks (second longest-running single in the chart’s history). An English version, titled “Forgiveness,” helped the song peak at No. 56 on the Billboard Hot 100 in September 2015.

In January 2016, Nicky released “Hasta el Amanecer,” which also became the biggest Latin song of the year. The single was #1 on Billboard’s “Hot Latin Songs” for 18 weeks, which was the longest run of 2016. The official music video reached 100 million views in the first month, averaging over 3 million views per day. It also scored the No. 1 year-end spot on the Latin Airplay, Latin Pop Airplay, Latin Rhythm Airplay, Latin Rhythm Digital Song Sales, and Latin Digital Song Sales charts. A remix featuring Daddy Yankee and an English version (“With You Tonight”) helped the song stay 19 weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 (peaking at No. 73). 

In 2017, Nicky Jam released “El Amante,” and his very first solo album, Fenix. The single quickly became an international hit, reaching 7X platinum status. The album also enjoyed quite the success, achieving 11 platinum certifications worldwide.  

Entering 2018, Nicky Jam began to conquer new territories in his artistic career. His songs achieved more than 14.5 billion views on YouTube and 1.1 billion streams on Spotify. Singles such as “X” (35X platinum certification) featuring Colombian sensation J Balvin and “Cásate Conmigo” (5X platinum certification) in collaboration with Silvestre Dangond, became international anthems. The singles obtained recognition in the most important Latin music awards, including the prestigious Latin Grammy, achieving nominations in categories such as   Record of the Year, Best Urban Song of the Year and Best Tropical Song of the Year.

His collaboration with the single “Te Boté” featuring Casper Mágico, Nio García, Darell, Bad Bunny, and Ozuna became a worldwide phenomenon. The single captured the world’s attention and became the main topic in all award ceremonies during the year. It also surpassed all YouTube records, becoming the most-watched video in 2018.

Additionally, Nicky Jam had the honor of recording and performing the official song for the 2018 FIFA World Cup “Live It Up,” featuring Will Smith and Era Istrefi. His undeniable success in the music industry earned him two Latin Billboard Awards that year in the categories Top Latin Album of the Year and Latin Rhythm Album of the Year (Fenix). 

Nicky Jam also dabbled in the fashion industry, becoming a brand ambassador for the elegant and prestigious watch brand Hublot. 

The Latin idol showed the world his acting side with his autobiographical series “El Ganador.”  Telemundo joined the giant Netflix in the creation of a series that tells the story of how the superstar came to be. The series trended in Latin American, Spain and the US at the time of its release in early 2019. 

2019 was also a year of vast success for the singer. Nicky worked with some of the biggest names in the industry, such as Sech, Anuel, Ozuna, Ñejo, and others, collaborating in the production of the most-played songs of the year, generating millions of streams on all digital platforms. His tour "Sorry USA Tour 2019" was a total success, with sold-out tickets in 13 different theatres nationwide.

On November 1, 2019, he officially released his seventh studio album Íntimo, one of the most anticipated albums of the year, hand in hand with Sony Music Latin and La Industria INC. Íntimo included 15 singles, including international hits “Te Robaré” featuring Ozuna and, of course, his the mega hit “X” featuring J Balvin. The album also features collaborations with Anuel AA, Darell, Sech, and Rauw Alejandro.

The urban pioneer finalized the 2019 like a real champion, appearing in the top 6 positions of Billboard Year-End count charts: Latin Rhythm Airplay Artists, # 5 , Tropical Airplay Artists, # 4. Latin Rhythm Albums Artists, # 4, Latin Airplay Artists, # 5, Latin Pop Airplay Artists, # 5, Latin Streaming Songs, # 6

Starting this new decade on the right foot, Nicky Jam returned to the big screen joining the cast of the new sequel of the action-comedy classic “Bad Boys” named “Bad Boys For Life,” working directly in Hollywood with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. Additionally, and for the second year in a row, Nicky Jam joined the list of nominees for Tu Musica Urbano Awards 2020 (7 categories), as well as Premios Juventud 2020 (3 categories). 

While 2020 was a challenging year for everyone, Nicky Jam made the most out of it. He started the year with a bang and joined forces with Daddy Yankee to release “Muévelo” (175 million views), then stripped his soul with the release of “Desahogo” featuring Carla Morrison (41 million views), started teasing his new album with the release of “Polvo” featuring Myke Towers (93 million views), and kept all of his fans entertained with his very own YouTube talk show “The Rockstar Show” featuring special guests like Maluma, El Alfa, Karol G, Luis Fonsi, and more.

In 2021, Nicky Jam surprised with an unprecedented collaboration with the King of Bachata Romeo Santos, “Fan de Tus Fotos” (61 million views), followed by “Pikete,” an explosive song with dembow king El Alfa, and then gave us another sneak peek into his most vulnerable and romantic side with “Miami” (6 million views), all in preparation for the release of his new studio album “Infinity,” out August 27. 

STAY CONNECTED WITH NICKY JAM ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

Instagram - Facebook - Twitter - YouTube - TikTok

STAY CONNECTED WITH HIP HOP SCRIPTURES ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

[illyrian-lover-flower]

My little mischievous partner ~ Part 1

So before I start I just wanna point out that the main idea of this story came from @tomtenadia and I simply transformed it into a little Elriel ff with the IC. It was originally planed as only a one-shot, but it turned out way too long so I parted it.

And I just wanted to say @tomtenadia that I really am sorry that I post it this late, but anyway hope you enjoy. 

________________________________________________________________

It will be an peacefull evening they said. It will be relaxed they said. It will be fun they said. 

But all of this was the least from the situation right now.

Azriel, who had taken his first week off in decades, actually only wanted to spend some time with the seer. 

Just being around her and enjoy the last warm breathes of the summer air together with her, but of course did he get carried away as Mor and his brothers presured him into an evening with all of them. 

Instead of just him and Elain. 

And honestly Azriel didn’t know why he had agreed. Thinking for the fracture of a second that it was a good idea, but that thought had crossed his mind before his second glass of wine, or was it already the third? Maybe even the fourth? 

He honestly did not know how many it have been until now. 

The spymaster only learned that he would never trust his family when it came to peacefull evenings ever again. 

Knowing they would end up with two tipsy or drunken Illyrians, arguing over a topic they had been arguing over for the past five centuries. 

Their voices way too loud as to be tuned out as he continued listening to them. The warmth of the fire on his wings right now the only thing that kept him seated in the plush armchair.

“What do you mean by that you idiot?” roared Rhys, half slurring, at his brother, who had a smirk displayed on his face. “I mean by that, that Nesta would agree with my opinion.”

“You have no right to say that! Feyre knows I put best use to what I have!” 

Cass smirk grew at that. “I would say that too if had 10 inches to defend.”

Rhys huffed, chest puffed out as his violet eyes practically pierced his brother “Are you talking about yourself now or what?”

Azriel could only shake his head at the two Illyrians. Trying to tune out again, but the try was only of succes for a little amount of time, as suddenly a crash was heared. 

The lamp, that stood next to the seer that sat on the couch and absentmindly nibbled at one of her blueberry cookies, crashed to the floor. Causing the innocent fawn to almost jump to her feet. But that still didn’t change the fact that she chocked slightly on the cookie bites she chewed with such intesity that looking alone hurt. The intensness of her far away gaze prove that she, too, tried to stay with her mind as far away as possible from the arguing.

But that didn’t work as Rhys flared out his wings. Knocking over the lamp and almost hitting the innocent seer in her face. 

Elain, who already drank a good amount of wine too, dared to glare at Rhys back. A crack heared as she aggresivly bit off a piece of her cookie again. 

Azriel was amazed how the mood of the seer could change so easily. Normally all sweet and nice - even while she was drunk, but somehow she seemed allergic to loud bussy bodys. His two brothers shivering for the amount of a second, in which they had the full attention of an icy glare from the middle Archeron- that would have even made Amren proud. 

Causing him almost to laugh out loud and forget his aching skull. 

But his brothers were a literall pain in the neck. Their boaming voices a hammer to his head whenever they spoke. 

“Get a measuring stick and I will show you whos bigger! Or just ask Feyre!” 

Now Cassian was mocking him with a cooing voice “Do you really think you need a measuring stick? Don’t you think an ruler is more than enough for you?”

As Rhys loud voice already wanted to start arguing back - something in Azriel snapped. Causing him to jump to his feet, move swiftly past  the few couches in the sitting room and reach for his brothers. 

Taking each of their massive heads in his scarred hands as he clanked their heads together. Their skulls meeting with great force as a dull thud was heared. 

Both of his Illyrian brothers groaning as he let them go. Their hands rubbing the spots where they had collided with the head of  the other one just a moment ago. 

Cassian was the first to recover, still groaning as he rubbed his forehead “What the hell was that about?!” but his pissed tone soon vanished as he saw the fire flickering in Azriels eyes. 

Knowing even in his drunken state, to not piss off his brother further than here. 

The silence of his threats a cold blanket around them. 

Rhys was smart enough to keep quiet as well, hissing whispered curses of pain under his breath as he rubbed his forehead too. 

Everything felt right, now. Peace having settled, but only temporary. 

The strong head of the High Lord finding the better of his brother again, as he whispered to his comander, as they started to walk out the room, “I will still get the measureband!” 

Azriel sighed and lifted his hands in defeat. The seer, that had watched the scenario in quiet amazement, giggled at the silly gesture. Her tipsy state probably getting the better of her. 

Causing the pissed but tipsy Shadowsinger to smile genuinely at her, before he stormed up to his brothers. 

His cold presence in their backs making them turn around with their heads ducked in. Their hunched form remembering him of the time were Rhys mother had scolded the two of them for breaking her favourite vase. 

Azriel tried to cover them up back then, telling that one of his shadows had accidently knocked it over, but the Illyrian Lady of the Night court knew better. 

And right now Azriel would gladly be the one to scold the two, but his patience was already worn thin, so he quickened the whole process a bit. 

Pointing, with his scarred index finger, up the winged staircase. His voice not allowing any arguments “Go to your rooms! Both of you and I don’t wish to see any of  you two drunken idiots all night again! Got that!?” 

He grumbled at them. His brothers obbeying as they walked up with heavy steps the withe stairs up, Cassian not able to control his grumbling “Stupid mother hen! Always ruins the fun!” 

But the Spymaster only sighed. Trying his best to get the air out of his lungs.

Azriel was no speaker, that all of them knew, but sending a shadow to whack Cass at the back of his head was something he did with satisfaction. 

The head of the commander whiping around at the cool, stinging sensation on his skin. His fiery eyes widening in shock as he saw the cold promise that layed in Azriels pissed eyes, as he watched with crossed arms over his chest,  how his two brothers hurried up the stairs. 

A final sigh escaping the shadowsingers lips as he turned towards the sitting room again. Abondening the plush armchair and taking a seat beside the lovely flower grower instead. 

Her honey eyes glowed with something he had never seen before, as her normaly bright, head turning smile grew into a wide stretched smirk that made his heart shiver. “These two sure are a handfull.”

Azriel could only nod, rubbing his throbbing temples. 

This was clearly not the time of day he whished to put up with their nonsense, but they never seemed to have mercy with him. Mor,Amren and Feyre the only ones that even tried to allow him some peace, next to Elain of course.

Never would he have guessed that even the friendly seer could give him a troubling time, but he clearly mistook her. 

Elain was a fae that could send his entire body, with a soft touch, soaring up into the sky far,far above them. Which she did. The brush of her soft fingers on the heated skin of his forearm, making goosebumps appear all over his body.

The warmth of the fireplace infront of him, once again, the only thing that kept him seated. But then again, was it the warmth that kept him still or the quiet michivous gleam in Elains knowing eyes? 

Those warm doe eyes that never seemed to miss a second of the day, those eyes which were a calming ancheror to his raging thoughts - were now gleaming of a dangerous dark brown. 

A wicked smile stretching her lips, as she flashed him her white theeth. 

The sight alone of her, making his heart stutter. 

Those warm eyes reflecting the fire, as her hair cought the hue of orange and gold. Those golden curles of hers, suddenly looking like an river made of fire. Elains softness seemingly all gone, as that wicked smile and the hand on Azriels forearm kept him still.

Making him take in the rare sight infront of him. 

But it seemed that the tipsy seer was full of surprises this evening. 

Her petite form leaning in to whisper, in a sinfull voice, in his rounded ear. That wicked smile on her lips spreading on his own like a wild fire, as she explained her plan to him. 

A plan he would truely have never expected of her, but that made the smirk grow even wider. 

The sight of the two smirking figures on the couch would have made even Amren shiver, as they discussed a plan, that would not be forgoten by the Inner Circle, for the next centurie at least.

******

“Az sure isn’t as fun as a centurie ago.” slured Cass at Rhys as they strode through the large hallway on the second floor. The white wall to the commanders right, a pleasent companion on the way to his chambers. 

His brother could only nod as he, too, made the way to his room on wobbly knees and legs. 

The two drunken Illyrians not carring at all that, below them, the Spymaster could still hear them.

But both did not have the braincells for the thougt of carring rigth now. It was already hard enough for the two to remember the way to their bedrooms. 

A turn of the hallway to the right was Cassians reminder of where his room was, sadly for him he noticed the turn too late. The reminder hiting him like cold marble - quiet literally, like he needed to find out. With a groan, escaping his dry throat, he rubbed one of his temples - where his stubborn skull hit the cold floor. 

Rhysand could only watch. The look on his face not clearly readable. It seemed like he was torn between lauhing like crazy and helping Cassian get up. He decided for the first, as a howling laughter echoed through the empty white hallway. 

The sound too shrill, as the loud,booming midnight voice of his brother hit the commanders sensetiv ears. Making him cover them up with a light growel on his lips. 

He wasn’t quiet sure how long he sat there - or how long Rhysand laughed. But what he knew was that they both layed on their backs on the cold floor afterwards, probably because Rhys wasn’t able to hold his balance as he reached for Cass.

 The flickering faerie lights only a dimmed hue.

Weird. Hadn’t they been brigther before? Like really bright. Cassian remembered, that when they reached the top of the stairs and the light turned imideatly on, that it hurt his eyes so much he had to close them. 

The commander only shrugged as he looked into the hallway infront of him with furrowed eyebrows. Maybe he had just imagined the light so bright, since the light downstairs was even more dimmed.

But the temptation of giving in to this thought was taken away from him, as he saw the shadow. A shadow that looked like a pillow of needles. Sharp claws looking like cresent moons that wanted to slice the Commander and the High lord open. The high Lord that hadn’t even noticed the shadow behind him, since he was on all four trying to get up on wobbly feet - his back turned to the shadow. 

A cold shiver ran down Cassians spine as he noticed the twisting silhouette of claws and sharp teeth. Suddenly not so sure if it was just a shadow or the cloud of black  mist that was the creatures body.

With plate wide eyes fixed on the twisting thing on the wall - he shook his brother, that almost made it to stand, but was dragged down again as Cassian shook one of his wobbly legs. Making him fall with a loud thud as the commander  hissed at him “Rhys! Look behind you!” The high lord only threw daggers at his brother as his tan face colided with the white floor again. His cheek flat against the cold stone. “What is it Cass!” 

Cass had only looked for a moment at Rhys when he fell, but now - as he gestured to the wall. Everything was normall. His eyebrows furrowed as he mumbled to himself “I could swear I saw something ...” as Rhys crawled on all four to the next wall - so that he could get up safely- he only grumbled “Yeah sure.” 

Cassian could only shake his pounding head. The drunkness suddenly lifted by the shock, but as he turned his back to the white long wall opposite him - he could have sworn to have heared a hissing laugh. A sound that came close to swords clanking together. 

He shivered again, but got up on wobbly feet. His chamber was only afew steps away and Rhysand already started to walk to his own chamber, so there was probably no reason to be worried at all. 

“Night Brother.” was Cass last good night. Rhys grumbled as he took the way, closest to one of the walls , back into the main hallway “Night, short inch.” at that Cassian needed to laugh as he, too, made the short way to his door in a far too long time “You wish. We both know it’s not true.” 

The only answer was a slammed door and Cassian was left alone in the hallway his heavy hand already on the doorknob to his room as a cold breeze turned off all the faerie lights. Making him blink in the dark.

“Hihihihi.” There! Again that sudden laugh. Louder and clearly audible, as if someone was next to him. A cold breath on his cheek strengthening his theory. 

Cassian was never one to run away, but if that laugh belonged to the one he suspected. He would feel no shame tomorrow for having swung his door open and having stumbled into it. The door, that flung wide open at the force of stregth that was used on it, seemed to close itself again as the commander fell onto all four again. 

Slightly panting in fear, he turned on the dimm lights and only saw a black mist lick at the side of the lock, before it fell shut. 

The shiver increased as he felt his face go chalk white. The louring sound of sleep now the only thing that could make him forget abou these incidents. 

And so he went to bed. The thick blanket, that normally suffocated him, now too cold for him.

~~~~

Cassian didn’t know how long it was what he slept, but all he knew was the reason why he woke up. The sticky warm breath on his cheeks the complete opposite to the cold licking at his feet. Shivers waving through his paralyzed body, as he oh so slowly - turned on his back to look at the source of all this. 

Sharp yellowish teeth gleaming at him, as his eyes looked into the dark. The fullmoon light coming in through his window making his fears only worse as they made the thin yellow teeth look like little sharp knives. 

And for one of the few times of his life, did Cassian feel afraid of knives. 

But as he layed there - motionless- his brain started to catch up on him. A roaring scream escaping his lungs as he shoot up - hitting his head on the dark creature he so feared. His clumsy feet hurrying to get out from beneith the blanket.

[rshn-english-blog]

Succes...

Today I'm going to talk about the secrets that lead to succes...

First, passion leads to success. I have loved cars since I was a baby, over the years I have learned more and more about cars, it has become a hobby of mine to drive, refurbish and tune cars. This is all because of passion. If you do something with passion, you do not do it against your will, and you can go very far with it and at the same time also become rich.

Focus also leads to success. If you have a goal that you really want to achieve, you will not only have to try hard, but you also have to be able to focus. If your focus is gone in a few days, it will be difficult to pull through, and you will end up drifting and neglecting your purpose. I am generally very weak at maths, I can still remember that I often failed the tests because I found it very difficult to work with different formulas that were very complicated. In the end, I had to take a final test that was decisive for my transition. In the end, I did nothing but focus on maths and practiced sums all the time. In the end, I managed to get a pass! That because I had focused well.

Finally, pushing leads to success. A helping hand is not only nice but also good to keep you awake and to motivate you. If you don't get pushed a few times, chances are you will give up after a while. I once had that I wanted to quit a job I didn't like, so I told my parents I wanted to quit. Then my parents told me to look at it for a few more weeks and if I still don't want to, then just quit my job. I did and in the end, I didn't resign because I liked it then. If I had not been pushed by my parents, I would have given up too soon!

[cucullas]

The tale of two Fanfan’s: pro and anti war French songs

I’m absolutely not done with Spanish Romances but today i felt like overanalizing another country songs so follow me as we cross the Pyrenées and time travel to the XVIII century to see how the name of an idealized soldier (Fanfan, La Tulipe) ended on an antiwar song (Le conscrit du Languedoc).

beware: it gets very French, this level of French 

1952 film “Fanfan la Tulipe”, not even trying to be subtle o how much you should thrist for the hero

Fanfan la Tulipe, a very sung hero

The first Fanfan is a soldier of the French monarchy, his King is anyone from the very classy wing and heels wearing Louis XIV to his Louis the XVI before he looses his head. He is the hero of a very popular song (here all stanzas or here my fav version) a march of the Grenadiers an specialized military assualt division. The song is quite good at tellingin less than 4 minutes a quite plotty story of a young man who is recruited. 

Fanfan is short for François, a name that literally means French and “La Tulipe” is a “nom de guerre” a soldiers mandatory nickname cause at the time there were like 5 names. 

 A young desperate was historically a perfect candidate from the Army who is mostly volontary the Kingdom of France had no mandatory conscription. At times of war of course recruitement agent forced people and all able men were called but there was not a military service stablished. 

COLONEL DUGUÉ MAC Cathy - Planche Uniforme Maison du Roy 1745

Fanfan who has a bad relation with his father is trown from his home, to avoid starving he joins the army and became a grenadier. naive, but also honorable and a ladies man the song builds a very likeable character. From being initially afraid of battles and sing the chorus “Allons mon petit Fanfan / Let’s go my little Fanfan” to give himself courage to helping his father in his moment of need we can’t help to get a bit attached.

“Des vaincus la touchante prière / M'fit toujours voler à leur secours  / P'têt’ c'que j'fais pour eux, / Les malheureux l'f'ront un jour, à leur tour / Pour ma mère”

“The moving cries of those defeated / Always made me flight to help them / Maybe what i’m doing for them / These unfortunate ones will one day do for my mother” 

You got to like him a bit. 

Fanfan, French icon

The succes of the character is massive, an operette, several serials, comics and three movies the image of Fanfan as a Louis XV soldier an he has shenenigans of all sort… 

Last film is from 2003 it’s high time to do a new one, most of these film are pretty bad but fun as hell. 

In the song he retires after 20 years. This is how things went, if the soldier survived war but also the awful conditions of casernes, lack of payment, hunger and diseases they were free to go after 8 to 10 years of service. Our hero remained 10 more. He could not reach the higher positions those where reserved to nobles but a modest career was still available.

Fanfan, La Tulipe, the version that we know is the one adapted by Emile Debraux in 1819 for popular orchestras. At the time, and after the napoleonic empire and revolution the monarchy was restaured in France and the fun story of these soldier of the golden days of monarchy became very popular. 

The army life is idealized however the thematic is more approachable than Revolutionary songs that are many times more about ideals and revolutionary fervor. Ultimately Fanfan choosed to become a soldier and once there despite  “cannons fire” who afraid him so much during his first battle. 

And while live of population an military was by no means better during monarchy that revolutionary and napoleonic period back then military was far from the general population and could be idealized or played with. It will soon not be so easy to distance oneself for it. 

Fanfan, the reluctant soldier

The hero of the second song  is also Fanfan (listen here sung by a choir here with a sadder tune) but we don’t know his name at first. He presents himself like this: “Je suis un pauvre conscrit de l’an 1810 / faut quitter le Languedoc / avec le sac sur le dos.” I’m a poor conscript of the year 1810 / I ought to leave Languedoc / with my bag in the back″

Like the first one he is a young men but he doesn’t decided to join the army himself. Napoleon has been Emperor for two years now but conscription started some years ago. if the Revolution hoped at the start to make military voluntary they soon saw it was impossible and a career army was formed but the numerous napoleonic campaigns need more and more men. Recruitement became ofc highly unpopular. 

Tirage au sort pour la conscription, Anonyme aka if you think your days sucks? wait and see Fanfan2′s one.

Fanfan 2 is pissed as hell and he might not be a soldier yet but he already leave no survivors: 

“ Maire et M'sieur le Préfet / N'en sont deux jolis cadets (bis) / Ils nous font tirer-z-sort / Pour nous conduire à la mort.”

“The Mayor and M. Prefect / Make two great captains / They make us draw a number / To take us to death” 

The recruitment at the time happens in two steps: First the Mayor makes a list of all the available young men from a year and they are called to a main city to present themselves. There, they draw a number who will decide if they go the reserve and are not called (high number) or are immediatly called to the army (low number). 

Fanfan 2 has not luck that day and he drawn numer two: if he passed the medical exam (which unless he lacks a limb or is very very sick, he will) he goes immediatly with the army. So this young man is there, with his parents and girlfriend and says goodye to them while he fearing they will never see each other again. It leads to maybe the most French methafor ever

“Dites a ma tante que son neveu / à attrapé le numero deux / qu’en partant son coeur se fend / comme du fromage blanc”

“Tell my aunt that her nephew / drawn number two / that leaving slips his heart / like a piece of fresh cheese.”

Pictured: young soldier heart 

Poetic irony 

Fanfan 2 name is mentionned at the end of the song: 

“ Adieu donc mon tendre coeur, / Vous consolerez ma soeur / Vous y direz que Fanfan / Il est mort en combattant.”

“Farewell my tender love / Please comfort my sister / Tell her that Fanfan / that he died at war”

The authors of the first song very probably new the first and the name of Fanfan can onle mean this association with a young soldier but it can also be a way to compare this two songs and by contrast give an even further critique to conscription and war that is not like songs… 

… specially if we remember that some of the 1810  recruits will end up dying in the terrible Russian campaign. 

Napoléon faisant retraite depuis Moscou, par Adolphe Northen.

This song also became well loved by anti-war supporters and there is one version in Occitan, the regional language of Languedoc.

I find it interesting how differently these song treat the same thematics. The lyrics of the first song are here (FR) and the second here (FR and OCC versions). The papers are use to talk abut recruitement are here for 18th cetury  and here for empire both in French. Have a great day, eat fresh cheese and join me soon for more songs.

[mysticprofessoralienhumanoid]

Turning down the akuma pt. 3

@mikantsume @starwindmaden @gimme-more-caffeine @unmaskedagain

Here you go...

Marinette thought the whispers and looks couldn't get any worse.

Oh, how she was wrong.

The day after the interview the amount of those increased dramatically, with even bigger fear and even more guilt in her classmates' eyes.

But now it wasn't only her class.

Oh no, it was the whole school. Every student, every teacher, hell, whole Paris. Each one of them looked at her and stared in fear at her cold eyes sending them look of boredom and aggravation.

And Marinette didn't like the attention to say the least. She hated it with her whole heart, but knew she couldn't do anything to stop it.

On one side, her interview was a big succes. People recognizing her and some brave ones even asking for her autograph and thanking her for giving them something to hold onto. It gave Parisians a feeling of hope and insurance, knowing they all are able to stop the process of the akumazination and it's not only Ladybug and Chat Noit, who can stop Hawkmoth.

But on the other side, it also worsened the situation. Her class' acquaintances got looks of hatred, disgust and disappointment from everyone around them, some even openly blaming them and/or calling them out and it didn't help, that they already felt shitty and blamed themselves they well damn should.

Nathaniel had problems with painting; drawing in general. The one time he let himself paint whatever his soul wanted (his words, not mine), he made a painting of Marinette back to evillustrator times, huh? with icy eyes, but still with a hint of a disappointment in them, piercing right throught him, glaring at him, getting all the bad emotions he kept in himself out, to the point he fell on his knees, crying. Later, he burned the painting and swore to himself to never let the emotions 'draw' for him. He was terrified of his own mind. And it was just after the almost akumazination.

But he wasn't the only one.

When Rose came home that day, instead of texting Prince Ali or singing, doing anything productive in general, she threw herself onto her bed, face in pillow, screaming, crying, saying Marinette's name over and over again. She was so ashamed in herself. She was so naive, so blind, she chose a new classmate over her friend. How could she ever doubt Marinette? She was the most honest and fair-minded person Rose had ever got the luck to meet.

Max didn't want to play any video game. Even Ultra Mecha Strike III. Especially Ultra Mecha Strike III. Every time he took his controller, an image of Marinette dancing that little, ridiculous dance of hers each time she won a game, her bluebell eyes shining at everyone with happiness, sharing her energy and kindness with them. Oh, how he wished to see those sky-blue eyes again. But wanted them to be a sky with sun shining and not a sky just before the storm. He felt like giving up.

Ivan didn't eat as much as he usually do. He was more aggressive and unpredictable. Everyone was afraid to be closer than few feet near him.

Nino didn't say 'dude', 'dudette' or 'bro' anymore. Nothing. Nada. He wasn't that chill and friendly version, everyone knew anymore, now he was... Sad. Depressed.

Juleka was now showing even less emotions. She was emotionless. Luka was worried, but knew he couldn't do anything, so he just watched her from his room, guitar in his hands, mindlessly letting his hands play sad tunes and melodies.

Even Chloe changed. I know, shocker. She blamed herself a little too. She knew Lila was liar, she could do something about it. Now she was even meaner and once when ms. Bustier was calling the roll, Chloe bursted out and threatened to call the mayor. The stress was just too much. I mean, her mother, her father, her lack of friends, therefore she couldn't really talk to anyone about her feelings, and now Marinette. It was all too much. Just stop, she wanted it all to stop.

Rose wasn't quirky anymore, her smile wasn't as bright as it used to be.

Mylene also didn't smile. Now she didn't talk with anyone. Even Ivan.

Sabrina was ashamed in her. Her father was a cop, for god's sake, she should've done someyhing! She was also mad at herself for accusing Marinette for using her just like Chloe, even though she knew the young designer was trying to help her.

Kim almost got thrown out from swimming team and wasn't so energetic. He wasn't as competitive as usual. To hell with it, he didn't even want to compete with anyone.

Alix, well, on the outside she hasn't changed that much, but she was blaming herself too. She wished she could punched Lila so hard, the chick would hit the Moon and hopefully die due the lack of oxygen. I wish i could do it too, Alix.

Every single one of them felt the consequences of their mistake and each one of them took the blame in their own way. Sure, they were sad, angry and blamed themselves.

But Alya?

Oh, Alya was devastated. She was so stupid, so blind, so so naive. How could she do this to her best friend? When she came from school, after this 'Marinette's almost akumazination' incident, she went to her room, not saying a word to anyone. Actually, since Marinette'd gone to the back of the class, after sending them an emotionless look, Alya hasn't said a word to anyone. She just sat expresionless at her desk, now all alone, and stared blankly at the wall.

But after she came home? Oh, it was a whole different story.

She cried. She screamed. For hours. She was saying her best friend's name over and over again. She was saying sorry, begging Marinette to forgive her. At some point she even broke her phone.

And all this time she had an image of Marinette's cold eyes piercing right through hers. Staring right at her, showing her how sad Marinette was at Alya. It wasn't even an image of angry Marinette. Oh no, Alya knew Marinette wasn't angry at them, she accepted that her friends and best friend left her for someone more interesting than her, someone who could offer them more than Marinette possibly could. And that's what made Alya devastated.

But the worst thing about Marinette's eyes was that, they were full of disappointment in her former friends. Especially in her. And she knew why. She abandoned her best friend for some random chick, who claimed she knew Ladybug and some other famous celebrities, even though Alya knew the chances for Liela to actually know these people were lower than Kim's IQ... Let's be honest, he's not that smart. He wanted to race with black panther, that's kinda stupid.

Alya didn't eat that much, if at all. She hasn't been on Ladyblog, since she had deleted interview with Liela. She didn't talk that much. She wasn't her old self. She was heartbroken, to say the least.

And as for Liela, I'm happy to say that she got expelled from school and came back to Italy. So luckily/unfortunately for her , she got away before hate got to her and the whole Paris knew what a filthy liar she is.

And as to Adrien... I don't even know if he was there. But if he was, he probably tried to stop them from this whole drama before Mari came to classroom, knowing damn well what kind of psycho Li(e)la is. So when he saw Marinette being akumatized, he just stared at her, he didn't try to stop it nor did he run out to transform into our friendly Chat Noir.

He was shocked to watch THE Marinette Dupain-Cheng getting akumatized. His sweet, kind friend that he secretly had a little tiny crush on but was too blind to see it himself.

But what scared him the most was her eyes. They were so cold, so emotionless, so elusive, so sweetness and kindness deprived Matinette was known for. Those weren't Marinette's eyes, those were Marinette's shadow eyes; her little dark side he wished to never see.

And as he watched the illuminating, purple aureole around her eyes, he felt like someone sucked out his happiness and live. Wow, now that sounds dramatic. It was just so heartbreaking to watch a girl, who never gives up, finally come to the point where she's done pretending she's fine. He finally saw, that under her bright smile are a whole lot things, responsibilities, problems she has to deal with every day and worries she tries to hide for sake of everyone around her, and Li(e)la thing was just a final straw to make bluenette break down.

And he was so relieved, when she said no, he released a breath he had no idea, he was holding. And when the akuma left the room and Marinette sat down at the back at the class, he shook his head at his ex-friends, shot them a glance full of disappointment and a hint of 'i told you so' and sat at the back of the class too, but in the other desk; he knew Marinette needed some peace and time for herself.

But if he wasn't there when this scene had place, i am sure he refused to talk to his classmates, even Nino, saying that they shouldn't have done that, maybe even telling them he'd known Liela was a liar before this shit has happened. And then again, sat at the back of the class in the other desk.

Either way, he saw the interview and was pissed even more. How did they dare to call my best friend a bully!? (I am so sorry for this 'friend' thing). Even Plagg got a little scared at the sight of his furrowed eyebrows, lips shut in a tight line and eyes with raging anger in them.

So later, he decided to see how she was doing and maybe talk a little- i mean, see if she's in danger of getting akumatized again since it's one of his Chat Noir's duties.

And that's how he and Marinette ended up on her balcony, leaning against its railing, both with a cup of hot cocoa in their hands.

"So..." Chat awkwardly asked. He hasn't really thought it through, he just transformed and came to Marinette's house, tapped on the window and asked to meet at the balcony. She did it and also brought two cups of delicious cocoa.

'Get a grip, Adrien!' The superhero thought. 'You save people's lives, yet here you are not able to talk to your best friend!'

He cleared his throat. "How have you been? Since, you know, this almost akumazination thing's happened?" Oh, god, Adrien, you're so awkward.

Marinette giggled a little "I'm doing fine, thank you." She sent him a warm smile and he felt his insides melt.

"Are you sure? After this 'almost akumazination' you seemed pretty exhausted." It was true, after she woke up from trance, she was so tired she almost fell on the floor if she didn't catch herself in time and then she plopped down on her seat looking like she was about to collapse.

She looked at him suspiciously "How can you know? You weren't there."

Shit. "Uhm, you see, I've watched the video! And the interview! Yeah." Chat tried to get himself out of the trap he made himself.

Marinette eyed him again, but decided not to pry. "I'm fine, Chat, really. Ladybug was already here and i told her the same. I really am fine."

The superhero still felt like she wasn't telling him everything, but he decided to let her be and say it when she'll be ready. Instead they fell into a silence. And just as he was about to bid his goodbye, she spoke up again, not lifting her eyes from her Chat Noir cup:

"It just really hurts."

"What?"

"It hurts to know they chose her in the end." she still didn't spare him a glance. "It hurts to know they chose someone, who wasn't there as long as i was, someone they barely knew." At this point she had tears in her eyes, and they were slowly coming up on her rosy cheeks. She finally looked up at him, tears finally cascading down down her face. Her icy eyes finally thawing a little, to show Chat Noir that his everyday Ladybug was still there, just hiding. "It hurts to know they chose her, when i was there always ready to help them."

He hugged her and that was pretty much how they spent the rest of the night.

"It just hurts so fucking much."

[katrinawritesthings]

jongtae/taekey; Taemin voice: hm.; nc-17

its Elle's birthday nd this is the most Elle energy fic I have ever written 

🐌 crop top jonghyun  

🐌 gremlin taemin  

🐌 queer Supreme key

🐌 horny giggly jongtae

🐌 grump/pest taekey

@taketaemtoyourleader here you go uwu

“Now, see, Kibs,” Jonghyun says. His arms come up heavy and snug on Taemin’s shoulders, hands playing with his hair. “You know I like you because you put up with this every day and you never come complain to me.”

“It’s ‘cause he’s got a crush on me,” Taemin says.

Taemin’s dick is in bliss, which means that he's in bliss, and he bites a lazy smile as he lifts his arms up to hold onto his headboard. He has soft fluffy pillows nestled under him, loud hard rock music playing around him, and Jonghyun above him, fucking himself perfectly up and down on his cock in time with the music. He’s hot and sweaty and his whole body feels fuzzy, blurry, floaty with the pleasure that thumps through his veins and tingles under his skin.

He rolls his hips up to meet Jonghyun each time he comes down, their skin slapping together almost loud enough to be heard over the music, their bodies perfectly in tune with each other. Jonghyun is all sweat and smiles as well. His grin is nice sharp teeth between nice plush lips, his nice soft light brown hair is wild and mussed on his forehead, his body is full of nice thick muscles flexing with each movement. The fuzzy lavender shoulderless crop top sweater that he showed up in is even more askew than before, so far down his right shoulder that Taemin can practically see half of his chest, but it still clings tight around his ribs so Taemin can see his pretty abs and each deep line between them.

Taemin lowers one hand back down to feel, to run his fingers over Jonghyun’s muscles before he just holds his waist tight to guide him even better on his cock. He wishes he could see Jonghyun’s cock, heavy and leaky, but it’s hiding underneath his cute pleated burgundy skirt. He feels like maybe if he fucked Jonghyun harder Jonghyun would want to jerk off, so he does just that, digging his heels into the mattress and driving his hips up to snap against Jonghyun’s, to fuck his cock in deeper and put more pressure on his prostate.

Almost immediately Jonghyun’s eyelids flutter, his breath catches, his fingernails dig into Taemin’s chest through his shirt. He licks his lips and looks back at Taemin again with a wide, lazy smirk, eyes little glimmers through his lashes.

“You’re so good, dude,” he says loud over the music. “You’re so--fucking good.” His breath caught again there because Taemin slipped his hand around to cop a feel of his booty under his skirt. Taemin grins back lazily, shaking his bangs out of his eyes.

“You too,” he pants. His confidence boosts a little, enough for him to want to flip them over and really show Jonghyun what he can do, to hold his legs up and fuck him wide open. That would probably let him see Jonghyun’s dick, too, so he makes the snap decision to do just that.

Well, try to, at least; as he props himself up on one arm and wraps the other snug around Jonghyun’s waist to prepare to roll them over, they’re interrupted by his dorm door opening.

“God, Taemin, what have I told you about the fucking music, you’re gonna--y’all.”

Kibum stops in the doorway, phone in one hand and backpack dangling out of the other, and just looks at the both of them, mouth an annoyed line. Taemin is suddenly grateful now that Jonghyun’s skirt is at least covering their sexy bits as Kibum closes the door behind him and finishes dumping his bag on the floor.

“Hi,” he says lazily, lifting a hand from Jonghyun’s waist to wave. On top of him, Jonghyun looks away from Kibum, grinning at the wall and very obviously fighting back giggles with slightly pinked cheeks. Cute.

“Okay,” Kibum says. “Ignoring, this,” he says, waving a vague hand at Jonghyun, “turn your fucking music down, you’re gonna get us in trouble with the RA again.”

“Ooh,” Jonghyun says, He pops back up brightly, smiling wide at Kibum and raising his hand high above his head. “That’s me!” he chirps. This time Taemin looks away to muffle his laugh as Kibum just looks at them and then closes his eyes to sigh loudly.

“That’s--what the fuck, Jonghyun,” Kibum says. Jonghyun’s hand comes back down to Taemin’s chest and he shrugs easily.

“Sex good,” he says. “But anyway--his music’s fine. I already had him turn it down. But I actually was gonna come over here anyway to talk to you.”

“Ha,” Taemin says loudly. Ha fucking ha. Finally Kibum’s getting in trouble for something. Up until now Taemin thought it was just him that Jonghyun came to reprimand, but apparently he was just a side note? Hell yeah. Oh how the turntables.

“What the fuck? Why, what did I do?” Kibum whines. Jonghyun holds up one finger and leans forward on top of Taemin to reach for his phone on the headboard. As he does so he pulls halfway off of Taemin’s cock, and then when he moves back he settles back down, sucking him in all the way, and Taemin closes his eyes and hums happily as he holds Jonghyun down in his lap and rolls his hips up just slightly. Nice. “Quit getting off right in front of me,” Kibum snaps. Taemin chooses to ignore him and start feeling up Jonghyun’s sweaty thighs where he can get at the soft patches of skin between his over-the-knee socks and skirt. Those also are nice.

“You,” Jonghyun says slowly, thumbing through his phone with one hand and drawing little lines on Taemin’s chest with the other. “Are bothering the girls in the all gender bathroom and making a mess with all of your makeup, apparently.” He looks up from his phone to Kibum, who’s scowling even more, a familiar expression of indignant fury on his face. Taemin lifts his brows blandly. Sounds fake to him.

“I--they’re--every fucking day, I’m just--and I never--but they always--”

“Now, now,” Jonghyun says, wiggling his finger in his best stern mother gesture. “I know you’re real clean in there and I know that this complaint is a thinly veiled sludge of queerphobia because they’re upset that you exist outside of the binary in what they think is their space even though it’s literally a gender neutral bathroom made for you and not for them and they can shove it up their asses,” he says. “But you know it’s still my job to come deliver the complaint and make them think I care.”

He tosses his phone into the sheets next to them and sits up a little straighter, rolls his hips just the tiniest amount on Taemin’s dick with a little wink, and looks back to Kibum, who looks significantly less angry and significantly more grumpy and pacified.

“And I mostly wanted to ask you if I could tell them off about the queerphobic thing or if you don’t want that kind of stress in your life and I should just lie and tell them that you promised to be a good enby and clean up more to get them off your back.” He shrugs simply. “I don’t wanna drag you into discourse if you don’t wanna be in it,” he says.

“Hey, that’s real thoughtful,” Taemin says. He reaches up to pinch Jonghyun’s soft cheek when Jonghyun smiles down at him with pleased crescent eyes.

“Thanks,” he says.

“I mean,” Kibum sighs. He runs his fingers through his hair and then sighs again, a big puff of air through his lips. “I’m guessing I can’t go yell at them myself?” he asks hopefully. Taemin snorts; Jonghyun grins apologetically and shakes his head.

“I’ve been doing so well at keeping this floor nice and calm and peaceful this semester,” he says. “I’m gonna get a raise if I keep it up.”

“Oh, well, we wouldn’t wanna interfere with that, would we,” Kibum mutters. Jonghyun pouts; Taemin sits up and wraps his arms around his waist protectively, frowning at his roommate.

“Be nice to him, he’s our mom,” he says. He’s their mom for the whole floor and he loves and supports them all so much.

“Do not,” Kibum says, one hand lifting only to chop back down through the air with each pause for emphasis. “Call him. Your mom. While. Your penis. Is. Inside of him.”

“Mommy,” Taemin grins, nuzzling into Jonghyun’s chest just to be a gremlin. He noses into the hem of Jonghyun’s sweater until he can push it down enough to reveal his nip and give it a tiny kiss. “Mommy, let me succ nourishment from your breast,” he murmurs into it.

“Now, see, Kibs,” Jonghyun says. His arms come up heavy and snug on Taemin’s shoulders, hands playing with his hair. “You know I like you because you put up with this every day and you never come complain to me.”

“It’s ‘cause he’s got a crush on me,” Taemin says.

“I do not,” Kibum snaps, and then, when Taemin opens his mouth to tell him that he does, cuts him off. “Whatever--I guess, just. I got a project to do this week. Tell them I said I’ll be cleaner and if they get whiny again later you can tell them to stop being queerphobes.”

“Got it,” Jonghyun chirps, giving him a sunny thumbs up. “Now, uh.” He looks down to Taemin, eyes hooded and mischievous as he slips one hand down to cup his chin for a tiny kiss before glancing back. “Do you want me to leave or can I finish up?” he asks Kibum. Taemin leans a little more forward to kiss softly against his jawline so in case Kibum does kick him out he can at least get a couple last smoochies in. He’ll be fine jerking himself off but this is his first interaction with Jonghyun that wasn’t just a quick doorway visit. He’ll be pouty to see him go.

“No, you two can.” Kibum waves a vague hand at them again. Taemin brightens up happily. Hell yeah. “I was gonna go get a smoothie anyway.”

“Ooh,” Taemin says, even brighter. Hell fucking yeah. He takes the hand from Jonghyun’s booty to grab the wallet on his headboard and then chuck it at Kibum.

“I didn’t offer, but, sure,” Kibum says, catching it. He opens it and pulls out a five. “What do you want?” he asks as he tosses it back. Taemin makes no move to catch it and it falls somewhere on the bed that he’ll find later maybe probably.

“You already know my usual because you have a crush on me,” he says.

“I don’t have a crush on you,” Kibum snaps. The glare he gives Taemin could melt ice, but Taemin just grins broadly back.

“Why are you blushing then?” he asks. His eyes flick down to the pink flush coming up Kibum’s neck just to make sure that Kibum sees that he sees. The pink rises even higher as Kibum’s scowl grows.

“I’m gonna go to the pet store and buy you a dog biscuit and tell you it’s human food when I get back,” he grumbles, and he turns around and walks out without a glance back, mumbling under his breath. Taemin smiles fondly at his back until the door closes behind him. He’s so cute. They’re gonna be good boyfriends when Kibum finally admits that he has a crush.

“Anyway,” he says, turning back to Jonghyun. Jonghyun cocks a brow at him, looking amused yet also like he doesn’t want to bother digging into their business. Taemin presses a soft kiss to his bottom lip and slides his hands up his thighs. “Where were we?” he asks. It’s a rhetorical question, because he knows full well that his dick is still inside of Jonghyun’s booty, hard and throbby and eager to get back to the fricking. Jonghyun still giggles and pushes his hair out of his eyes.

“I think it was somewhere around, ‘You’re so good Taemin, fuck, you’re so fucking good,” he says thoughtfully.

“Ahh, of course,” Taemin grins. So they're on the same page. “Then let’s--” He gets one arm around Jonghyun’s waist again, pushes off of the bed with the other, and flips them over quickly, setting Jonghyun down against his pillows and smiling at his surprised squeak and loud laugh. Miraculously, he kept his dick in there too, and he’s real proud of himself as he pushes Jonghyun’s legs apart while he laughs into his hands.

Flipping Jonghyun’s cute skirt up too, he bites his lip when he can finally get the full picture. Jonghyun’s ween has softened slightly, probably from that whole conversation they all just had, but Taemin’s not worried. He can fix that quick enough. It’s still real cute and real hot. He leans down when Jonghyun tugs at his shoulder and accepts his messy kiss, rolling his hips slowly against Jonghyun to get readjusted and back in the mood.

“Let’s keep going,” he finishes. Jonghyun smiles wide against his mouth, one leg hooking around his hips.

“Please do,” he says, so Taemin does.

[jindoelf]

200404 Eunhyuk Online Birthday Party (full trans)

https://youtu.be/wKfjaJyzplQ

🎁은혁이와 함께 온라인 생일파티🎁 (HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNHYUK)

hyukjae says he is at shindong's studio haha the one shindong usually does shindongdaengdong

ded omg they are making hyukjae make the dalgona coffee

hyukjae barely started to whisk and he says he is almost done LOL SURE BB

Hyukjae says he will call the members and if they manages to say certain words, he will pass on to the manager to whisk

the words the members have to say is "saranghae" and hyukjae was like...'which members will say 'saranghae' to me?'

hyukjae just needs to call donghae lol simple

OMG LOL HE CALLED HEECHUL AND HEECHUL SAID HE WANTED TO CALL HIM TO CONGRATULATE HIM AND HEECHUL SAID I LOVE YOU 😂 so its a succes

hyukjae is gonna continue to call the members

He is gonna call yesung and yesung has to curse at him in order for it to be a succes

hyukjae is making shindong decide the words donghae has to say and shindong said 'lee donghaek' but hyukjae suggested 'onyongnyongnyongnyong'

donghae singing happy birthday my e oppa

Donghae did the onyongnyongnyong but he was late so he failed. Then hyukjae said why are you always late then donghae said he is not! then hyukjae was like why cant you catch up with me??? then donghae said dont you know we have to keep a distance now due to corona???

Apparently donghae went to buy presents for hyukjae at the same place hyukjae went to buy presents for his mom and they were there at the same place but they didnt know

DONGHAE GAVE HYUKJAE THE SAME SWEATSHIRT HE IS WEARING AND THEN HYUKJAE DIED AND DONGHAE SAID 'WE ARE A COUPLE WE HAVE TO WEAR COUPLE STUFF'

DONGHAE GAVE HIM THE SAME PAIR OF SHOES HE IS WEARING HELP AHHAHA DONGHAE IS LEGIT PLAYINGF IT UP

(teukables)

Donghae and his random youtube videos.... not considered as youtuber to Hyuk?

Omg he knows how to do the put hand behind item to let the camera focus on it thingy!!

Donghae's birthday

Hyuk: It's my birthday, why do I have to do this (making dalgona coffee)?

elfs asked him to speak nearer to the mic so he’s like “then you have to give up either one. it’s either my face or my voice”

he's asking how long he has to stir?! Can't believe he hasn't watched any videos on how to make dalgona coffee

Why are there random cute stickers appearing w people's names ah? How do they send them?

he is asking why (he has to do it), it's his birthday again

*""

Hyukjae says he will call the members and if they manages to say certain words, he will pass on to the manager to whisk

the words the members have to say is "saranghae" and hyukjae was like...'which members will say 'saranghae' to me?' LOL

Heechul was like "Saranghae bobo (I love you xx)"

Heechul confirmed be like ???

The 30 April 2012 Airport Fashion Concept question was one of the Q&As in the 2020 Seasons Greeting scratchcard!

(haekjoyce)

hj: i have to call donghae next. what shld i get him to say?

sd: shld i help u pick? smth hard for him to say... this kid... lets get him to say his nickname "lee donghaek"

hj: shld i just get him to say nyonyoynyoo

right donghae. what to do if he curses? they curse a lot with me. right so "nyo nyo nyo ynoo"

dh: happy birthday to you

hj: nyonynoynoy

dh: happy birthday to you

hj: nyonynoynoy

dh: my e oppa

hj: nyonynoynoy

dh: did u do ur birthday party

hj: nyonynoynoy

dh: oh u did thats nice

hj: nyonynoynoy

dh: did u eat seaweed did u talk with ur mom

hj: nyonynoynoy

dh: nyonynoynoy

hj: oh????? ur late!!!!

dh: im never late!!!

hj: ur always a step behind me

dh: ur a step behind me!!!!

hj: ur like 2m behind me

dh: nyonynoynoy

hj: u shld have did this earlier!!!

dh: nyonynoynoynyonynoynoynyonynoynoy

hj: oh u speak well. right by

dh: where are you?

dh: (in the live) happy birthday to you

hj: ??????

dh: i told u i was never late comepared to u !!!!! didnt i !!!!!! ah!!!!!!!! nyonyonyonyooo!!!!

hj: u shld have said so earlier!!!!!!!!

hj: ahhh hthats why the cake only comes out now!! i was wondering why we didnt start with the cake right away. u shld have come earlier

dh: (sings happy birthday) u have to blow the candles with ur nose

hj: shld i try one? oh it works?

eunhae: (laughs)

hj: bring me tissue!! ahhh its the first time i wear this

dh: birthday presents

hj: did you buy them

dh: what are you talking about

hj: i'll check. bring ur receipts.

dh: why do u need to do this

hj: u checked last time when i came didnt u

hj: oh u went there????

hj: bring me another tissue

dh: u don't need it. here!

hj: ???? thats not a gift thats just u promoting!!!!!

dh: no just put it on!!! put it on!!

hj: thats just u promoting!!!

dh: no!!!

hj: then u talk

dh: i really really want to meet you guys. really really really want to meet you guys. oh i will clean it up for u (the stain)

dh: u bought me couple gifts last time didnt u !!!!!!!!!!!!

hj: i did (laughs) ah this is so annoying!!!! we look crazy !!!!!

hj: oh this is shoes? ah this fucking?

hj: ??????????

(couple shoes)

hj: are you fucking crazy. youre crazy

(* pun with shoes and fuck)

hj: i cldnt even think about this (this event)

dh: u needed this right (beauty products)

hj: oh yea. is it the new one? the limited edition

dh: its just how it is

hj: the bag's too big just for these two products

dh: (pulls out couple lipbalms (?????))

hj: woooow youre the worst. this is the worst video ever (laughs) whats this

dh: mother gift

hj: oh i gave a gift for ur mom too. oh i think i bought the same gift for mom

dh: she can use it for a long time

hj: this is the worst

dh: (forces a kiss on hyukjae)

hj: wtf ?????? get off!!!!

hj: this is the worst video ever

hj: wah i want to cry

dh: of course

hj: not bc of you

hj: i cld never have imagined it.... is there water?

hj: oh right, the dalgona? oh you did a lot! then you do it (donghae)

hj: show them, is that enough?

dh: it smells like dalgona coffee

hj: wah my mind is blank

hj: oh its a cheap cake right? about 1,000W right? looks cheap

hj: oh right there was a game

dh: werent u supposed to end it in an hour

hj: idk i do whatever i want. lets do the mission together. everyone what shld i get him to say? oh english? just enligh? oh?? "no challenge no change"

hj: ma-onnnng

sw: hyok

dh: me-honnng

sw: we only call once in a year; on ur birthday

dh: i'll call u in three days

sw: wtf...?

dh: (makes weird noise)

sw: what are you doing

eunhae: (humming the tune of no challenge no change)

sw: nyonyonyo

hj: ma-ong where are you ma-ong

hj: if theres change then there is....

dh: everybody say???

sw: i think its time for your medicine

eunhae: (laughs)

hj: no challenge

sw: i can't say that here theres a lot of people

hj: (usb impersonation) yah yah happy birthday my friend

sw: yes my friend

hj: im on live broadcast

sw:???? its ruined

hj: u failed my mission. u didnt say no challenge

sw: i did

hj: its within 40s

sw: its hard

hj: its bc my birthday is 0404

sw: i kno

hj: ur 0407

next is ryeonggu. what shld i do with ryeonggu. lets hurry up. "im confident"? ok. no other corner, we'll only do this (laughs)

hj: he's not picking up. ryeonggu. ryeonguuuuu. im confident!!!! that kid... hes not busy though. he doesn't have schedules though. does he pick up ur calls? try calling him

dh: then hold this for me

dh: i shld cut off my hair

hj: right hes just not picking up right? its not just my calls right

hj: right then last is kyu. ryeonggu is a fail. hes not picking up. next is kyu. what shld we do with him. "its the worst"? i will try.i shld just sing then. he keeps saying my singing is the worst

kh: hyunnng

hj: (sings)

kh: hyunnnng

hj: (sings)

kh: what are u doing

hj: (sings)

kh: ...hello?

hj: kyu?

kh: hyung ur rly bad at singing

hj: i was just pretending

kh: ur really bad

hj: if u had to say one word what wld it be. i have to hear a word from u

kh: ah "the worst"

hj: ahh!!!! why didnt u say it earlier. its too late now! kyuu

kh: hyung

hj: im doing the birthday party

kh: i heard its at 6pm. im not doing mine bc of u.

hj: ah bc they might not watch? u pushed it back

kh: hyung dont sing

hj: i will dance

kh: ah then thats ok

hj: anyway someones here

kh: who

hj: an athlete

kh: really? lee donghae?

hj: ur good

kh: im good ofc

dh: kyukyukyukyu

kh: donghaiiii. its the two of u

hj: yes its just the two of us. d&e has to do it

hj: am i done? lets eat it

dh: do we have to drink it with a straw? i never tried it

hj: oh this is weird (lipbalm)

dh: its cool right? feels cool. drink it in oneshot

hj: do i have to mix it? no? do i just drink it like this? u hvae a coffee shop, how do i do it?

dh: just dirnk

hj: (drinks)

hj: yah!!!!! theres no milk !!!! its bitter !!!!!!

hj: ohhh youtube is fun!! shld i do it? shld we do it? dont u do it?

dh: i don't do it like that

hj: do it and i will come over to play

dh: no no no no

hj: u shld call ur youtube nononono

dh: teuk hyung does it for 4 hours

hj: oh thats a problem. hes got a disease.

dh: i iwll leave now

hj: try it first. it s weird though? is tat how its supposed to taste?

dh: thats weird

hj: is that right? is that how its supposed to taste

hj: anyway u can leave. i will see you nononono

dh: nonononono

i did the the cake, the dalgona coffee and the game. whats next. ah the most important part, the questions! i was wondering what id do in an hour but its alrdy an hour. thats why teuk hyung does it for 4hrs. and since i don't hear u its quite alright (laughs)

the coffee isnt that good, the milk is good though. yeah its good everyone

i will start eunhyuk's quiz! drum. did u hear the drum sound? theres this thing from shindongdaeng's studio. shld we try listening to applause? is it coming out? ah no? (laughs) well