#uhhh anyway ive been kind of busy. with stuff. and things.

[holy-reference-in-a-username]

i was wondering what they would look like with long hair. and then i realized: i can draw.

matt totally rocks it. edd hates it. tom's ok with it. tord thinks he loves it but it immediately becomes the Most Annoying Thing and he cuts it back

[deedoessurvies]

two

When was the last time you read a whole book, to the last page exactly? Im doing that today. my last one has been since like november which is wild. ive just been so busy.

How many times have you had sex within the past two years? Guesstimate? Zero. close but zero.

When was the last time you made up a word? Did people think it was weird? i make up sayings often but they arent necessarily a made up word.

How many times in a month do you go to the movies? How much do you spend? when dating Z its like 2-3x a month.

What is one of those movies that you could never get tired of watching? sleepless in seattle, you've got mail, something borrowed, maid of honor, pride & prejudice

When was the last time you heard thunder? Where were you at anyway? here and a couple months ago. we are very close to rain season

Have you ever begged the opposite sex for anything at all? not that i can recall.

Are there many places to shop in the town you live in? What kinds? my town is small.. there are places to shop like grocery stores and small businesses. theres a habitat for humanity store, a military supply store, uhhh beauty stores, stuff like that.

When was the last time you bought shoes? What do they look like? I bought FRYE boots !!!!!! grandma would be so dang proud. I hope she sees this somehow haha. i got them in january some time.

Do you like surveys with really in-depth questions, like mine? Yeah.i wish there were more.

When was the last time you were in trouble with your parents? im in my 30s so it doesnt really work that way anymore.

Has your boyfriend or girlfriend ever cheated on you? Were you mad or sad? cheating sucks period. just break up with the person.

Do you know anyone who claims to have the ability to see the future? uhhhhh OH funny mini story. so sometimes K will send me letters in the mail. but i guess sometimes his handwriting for my street name is blurred so when that happens it gets sent to this chick like 4 blocks away. anywho, she LEGIT admitted to reading a letter of mine one time (wtf) and she basically fell in love with K for the things he was saying and when she reached out to me on FB to get me the letter, she was like omg i love him, you need to forgive him, yadda yadda. then later on she reached out to me and was like I can read your tarot cards and read your palms and stuff if you want! (wtf) lol

Are you a superstitious person? Have you ever been superstitious before? no.

Do you like any songs from country music? If so, which ones do you like? i love country songs. hundreds and hundreds.

Can people read your facial expressions easily? If so, why is this? typically no, im pretty good at hiding my emotions. not saying that in a proud way, because obviously it is good to feel your feels (within reason right) but nah

When was the last time you went on vacation? Where did you go to? uhhhhhhh golly. over the summer i went to Tennessee so theres that. How many states have you been to in your lifetime? Guesstimate if not sure. i think 26.

When you go to the movies, do you actually watch the movies or not? Oh i watch them. i dont think ive ever not watched them unless its obscenely gory and then ill just close my eyes or something.

What kind of instant messaging service do you use? Why do you use this? usually just messages on my phone. sometimes messenger, google chat, or whatsapp

When was the last time your area had a tornado warning, if ever? last summer.

Have you ever had one of those major fights with your current bf/gf? im currently single. was almost taken but that blew up over distance. i am so over distance.

Does it ever bother you when people use abbreviations for certain words? i very seldom care about the way people type.

Would it creep you out if you walked in on your best friend having sex? creep? no. would i be like SO embarrassed, yes but would i move on from it probably. lol. its natural, whatever.

When was the last time you said ‘I love you?’ Who did you say it to? romantically? C and i say it a lot to one another.

Do you have any of those freaky phobias that make no sense at all? my phobia makes sense.

Do you ever look at random people and think they could be a serial killer? >> YES. when I swipe on dating profiles im like "you have the look of someone who would happily skin another person" lol

Does it scare you when the sky gets really cloudy and dark during the day? no i LOVE IT. give me the clouds, gimme the stormy skies.

What was the last amusement park you went to? Did you have fun? busch gardens. yes, its just so daaaaaaaang hot.

[khodorkovskaya]

23.06.23

oh my god i saw my zurich friend yesterday and i have so much tea to spill.

so i was super excited to see him and i haven't seen him since my birthday and the whole day i was like ":)))) im gonna see my zurich friend yayyyy".

and okay a bit of context: so remember how i went to lugano for a business trip and on the train there we were texting back and forth with my zurich friend. and he was telling me about this greek girl he's been courting. but she rejected him bc he told her about how he got drunk when he was 15. the whole story was v weird. because she honestly came off as quite indecisive and pseudomoralistic. like who cares about getting drunk as a teenager 10 years ago? but anyway, it felt like she was just looking for an excuse to reject him bc she simply didn't like him that much. and so when we were talking that one time, he was saying how he wanted to text her and i was like nooo don't text her, no means no, she doesn't want you, leave her alone.

so fast forward to about a week ago. my friend and i are talking on insta and i ask him what he's been up to. and he says he went to lugano. and i was like oooo how was the trip? send pics? and he's the type of person who talks a lot over messages. like you ask him "what's up" and he sends paragraphs. but this time he just sends 3 pics of the lake in lugano and that's it. so i was like okay, he's probably busy, whatever, maybe the trip wasn't that interesting. i didn't think much of it tbh.

and last night we go out for a drink, start off with small talk like ohh how are things, how's uni, etc. and i ask him how his trip to lugano went.

and he goes red in the face, starts looking around and laughing nervously. and says "it was nice".

and im like bestie what's going on.

and he's like sweating, blushing, all of it. and says "yeah yeah no the trip was nice".

and im like 🤨

and he takes a deep breath and says "yeahhhhh i went with the greek girl".

and im like bro

didn't she reject you what happened

and he's like "yeah she ended up coming with me. i was planning on going alone but she came along" and like uhhh how does one """end up coming along""" on a trip to another city? likee that's sus

so i look at him like 🤨🤨🤨

and he's like "yeahhh, she had this look in her eyes. like it wasn't like before. like she was looking at me and she had this look like her eyes like she was looking at me in such a way. and we don't even know how it happened. but yeah. it was the look."

so they had SEX in lugano!!!!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱😱

and i was like nice congrats bro. cos he's been chasing after this girl for yearsss. and the problem was that she had no experience with men and he was her first kiss and yeah. and my friend isn't the most experienced guy when it comes to women either. like he's not a hookup kind of guy, as far as i know. and he's young and insecure about that kind of stuff, which is fine, we all are at our age. but yeah, he's a bit awkward.

so i was like "so you guys are like officially a thing now?" because tht was the point, right? like all of this going to the opera and holding hands was to be with this girl romantically, right???

and he hits me with "yeahhh i think it's best if we stay friends. im not attracted to her anymore *gestures at his lower stomach area* and i wouldn't mind having intimacy with someone else. and if i do have intimacy with someone else, im gonna tell her. like andrew tate would approve, you know?"

and im like wait wait wait

so he wouldn't leave this girl alone for like a year, despite her rejecting him on numerous occasions. he took her virginity. and now "let's stay friends"??? like

so i was like "how about you don't 'have intimacy' with anyone"? like just keep your zizi in your pants, you know? it's not that hard. well maybe it is but you know, control yourself.

but yeah i was v disappointed with him. bc ive always had a feeling that he has a dark side. like he comes off as too normal and that's sus, you know what i mean? and plus he's like really emotionally constipated. like he's all "smart guy with glasses", "i go to the opera and play tennis" type of guy. but like im convinced that deep down he's a freak. like there's something about him idk how to describe it. i just have this gut feeling that he's full of secrets. and i have to admit, there is something sexy about that, but like i would not want to be his girlfriend, you know what i mean?

and his whole thing with the greek girl really gave me the ick. i was like jeez. like maybe im a bad friend to him, but i really feel bad for the girl. bc from what he's been telling me and despite her indecisiveness, it was pretty clear that she wasn't super into him. and he was really pushy. and now that she gave in he's like ready to move onto the next thing.

and maybe it's an insecurity thing. bc if his feelings for her just went away like that, maybe he wasn't that interested in her in the first place. she was hard to get and it was a challenge and now that he got what his wanted it's all over. and for a sort of awkward guy like him, maybe that was his goal. bc, for example, with his ex gf it was easy. she was this cute nice girl, nothing special. like he didn't have to chase her, nor was she like super attractive. and that was probably frustrating for him.

idk overall im a bit disappointed bc i feel like i held him to a higher standard. but all men are the same i swear.

[viktoriakomova]

You get rhabdo from trauma to muscles (usually crush injuries) and a CK of less than 1000 just goes away by itself. If it's greater than that, you give IV fluids to prevent damage to the kidneys but there HAS to be damage to the kidneys along with CK rise (typically > 5000) to diagnose rhabdo. And rhado is there either or it's not, it can't be mild. The upper limit of normal CK is 320. 500 CK indicates significant exercise but its NOT rhabdo. I wouldnt even expect this mistake from a med student

This is so embarrassing for all them (except Riley herself) tbh lol jesus

I wasn’t expecting like Official Lab Results to be released but I had no idea how much higher the numbers on those blood results had to be for a rhabdo dx. Like, an entire order of magnitude higher? Helloooo? So it’s not even like a gray area/cusp kind of thing?

Another question I have (trusting you to answer back because you sound like you know several medical science facts): how quickly do those numbers fluctuate? Is the fact that the samples were taken right after her 4-hr morning practice significant, as opposed to if they were taken later in the evening, or right before her afternoon practice following 4 hrs of rest after the morning? Or is it a more stable level that goes up and down gradually?

Also MH is either equally stupid (or just has been operating entirely within that fucked up subculture for too long to hear how she and others sound) for thinking “mild rhabdo” sounded less severe than “overtraining” 🤡

In this instance I don’t actually blame the gymternet for leaping to conclusions because when we first got that news and I looked it up, I was stunned at how severe the muscle tissue breakdown needs to be for that. Like you said, it’s like “muscles crushed by several tons of force in a car accident” levels. And “mild” absolutely sounded like Maggie trying to downplay something that’s like a legitimate medical crisis. Idk why she even elaborated at all. I get that post-2016 there has been a push for transparency but when you are essentially putting out inaccurate info about an athlete’s medical problems/history, that’s uhhh. Not good either lol.

But because of this, I kind of feel like it’s a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation, because if they had been cagey about explaining why she was not going to worlds, everyone would be screaming coverup. And stuff like this, plus stuff like Simone being honest about what was going on in Tokyo, is a challenging dilemma. I don’t think we as fans are owed any of these details, but I certainly understand why we feel like absence of an explanation is fishy.

In the Marta Era, if either of these had happened, they would have been withdrawn BUT it would be blamed on some physical injury. And honestly, I sometimes think I would rather have it that way…? By the time worlds or the Olympics come around, they basically ALL have some injury or nagging overuse injury/aggravation that is a very valid reason not to compete, but they are typically expected to push through it anyway. I appreciate greater transparency and not feeling like what’s really going on is something that needs to be hidden or something to be ashamed of, and I especially appreciate what Simone did in terms of mental health being a legitimate ailment too, but at the same time I’m like….. nobody NEEDS to know my business just because I’m an elite athlete lol leave me alone

[elytrafemme]

MARE. OH MY GOSH. HIIII ok i'm sorry if i'm interrupting anything but i have really hardly interacted with my lovely tumblr friends for SO long now and i WANT to change that because i miss you guys so much and i miss talking to you in particular a lot :'D so HI!!!!! how have you been doing lately what's up :] if you have anything at all to share i would love to hear it very much...

CALLI CALLI CALLI CALLI CALLI YOU ARE NOT INTERRUPTING ANYTHING I WOULD DROP EVERYTHING FOR U OMG HIIII!!!!!!!!! I MISSED YOU SM :')

hi hi hi okay uhhh fun life updates yes yes okay! well I'm multitasking playing Spider Solitaire, rewatching the Try Guys update video, writing cough syrup, and watching DougDoug play Peggle which are just about the four things that sum up my life at this point! today's been interesting but let me try to think of some nice things to update you on

okay okay so last Wednesday i think my school did this thing called senior sunrise where all the seniors went outside about an hour before school started and just. watched the sunrise together. and my friends baked a ton of stuff and someone in the school set up a speaker with a really nice playlist. i wore my ex's beanie for basically the entire time which was really meaningful to me and it was super fun. we couldn't really see the sunrise (and i went to colorado last month and let me tell you sunrises in my state are fucking ruined after seeing the beauty that is colorado ones). that was one of the more fun school things to happen though so i just wanted to share that

tomorrow my parents and i are going to another city in our area to look at a house! my brother is moving out but he's uh busy i think so we're going to do the house inspection thing on his behalf which i guess works? and then on wednesday i go on a one day trip to college tour somewhere ive NEVER been before so that's kind of exciting. and then day after i'm fingers crossed getting boba with friends. and then rest of this week is a lot of college applications and CS writing but i'm hoping i can hang out with my ex at some point or at least stop by where she works (she's still one of my close friends im just calling her my ex for continuity's sake)

i have no idea if you were online when i found out this stuff but i'm part of a system lol uhmm. listening to a lot of good music which is mostly adam lambert who is out of your genre range but like im obsessed with him also menlik zergabachew and a couple others. i want to paint my nails a kind of plum shade bc those are all the colors we have so i might do that later :DDD probably shouldn't tonight since i'm working but it might also be a positive trigger so not sure anyway that might happen

okay i feel like ive rambled a lot which is weird bc these past few days have been. SO unexciting. but its SO GOOD SEEING YOU!!!! I HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL <333 i hope the math hw went well and the death metal is treating you good and that the cat 5 sleepy girl catastrophes are moving down to cat 3. and that you are happy :]

[transsexualhamlet]

sherlock holmes reactions part six (aka me losing my mind over the final problem)

Hi, I am once again reminding you all that I've formed a parasocial relationship with the crackhead detective 👍 This made me overly emotional for the fact that he didnt even die

But like

hhhmmmmmmmm those were certainly an interesting 14 pages

Yeah, I already made a post about how the final problem relates to yuumori's final problem and how incredibly sexy it is but yes now I'd just like to relay to you how absolutely heart brocken i am over this lol I will eventually get to reading the post hiatus stories i just. I haven't emotionally recovered from this yet

Yelling below the cut somehow this reaction feels longer than the story itself. but it's about half cracking jokes and half sobbing so be prepared

I mean, starting off strong with "well yknow since i got married my and sherlock's Very Intimate Relations had to be modified and all but we hadnt seen each other in a while so it was kind of jarring to see him crawling in my second story bedroom window clutching Wounds and closing the shutters absolutely fucking wasted losing his mind over some dude named moriarty"

We've been over this but. Oh my god why are they gay

I just like????? Imagine how fucking bizzare that would be to just see your old homie crawl into your window bleeding on your floor and asking to exit the other way in case he's followed like "hey bro can we Talk i hope you're not busy" WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO, SAY HE IS? Imagine watson just like "no dude I'm fucking busy go get killed"

But legitimately. That's certainly something. And like, I see a lot of books starting like this lmao but. Holmes's stuff usually starts off kind of easily with watson going "yeah so lately ive been Experiencing Sherlock Holmes" and spend 20 minutes on exposition with them having a Conversation but no. mans just fucking escaped a hitman and went directly to his boyfriend's house having apparently Never Before In His Goddamn Life mentioned his actual nemesis to this guy. How the FUCK has watson never heard of him before.

And how sherlock starts talking about it isn't any less funny he's just like "UHHH SO THERE'S THIS GUY. THIS ABSOLUTE MAN. AND HES REALLY IMPRESSIVE I MEAN HES LIKE SUPER FUCKING SMART AND HES LIKE DOING CRIMES????? SO I LIKE. I NOTICED AS I DO BUT HE NOTICED THAT I NOTICED AND I MIGHT HAVE MADE A LITTLE FUCKY WUCKY DUDE CAN YOU HELP ME LIKE. FLEE THE COUNTRY" and watson's like my dear sherlock What The Fuck

Im also loving how he calls moriarty a "mathematical celebrity" awhi;grih;oaewhhta;ioh;iaewh;ii;oewh;eh;rg mans just. ok lol hes a Math Celebrity that had to quit his math teacher job because EVERYONE JUST KNEW HE WAS A CRIME LORD LIKE THEY TOOK ONE LOOK AT HIM AND WENT MANS DEFINITELY HAS BODIES IN HIS BASEMENT I DONT WANT HIM TEACHING HERE

But yeah, it was interesting to see what the big deal about og moriarty was... especially since the deal simply did not deliver. There was not really a big deal. It's like reading the first chapter of a book and immediately skipping to the climax. Everything is so hyped up and clearly having been building for years and you just get like NO CONTEXT. I swear Moriarty wasn't goddamn mentioned any time before this. He's just suddenly the big guy and watson has just never fucking heard shit about this guy.

What's so funny about this whole situation is that I just. Cannot objectively know anything about Moriarty at all because sherlock just... does not go into what this dude's alleged crimes even were, other than. The fact that he like. Does them. He's just really involved in crimes. How? Why? For how long? In what way? For what purpose? NO FUCKING CLUE HE JUST. HE JUST DOES. And there's nothing to really suggest that Moriarty was honestly a really evil guy. They're all like trust me he was just. he was just really bad but show absolutely No examples of being such. The most evil thing we saw Moriarty do personally was call sherlock stupid for letting him get into the apartment. And even then he immediately followed it up with complimenting him lol

yeah, my impression of Moriarty was like. I expected him to be worse, honestly. I expected him to be like a cartoon villain because he was kind of made out to be one and then he's just honestly a really polite and refined guy?? Mans strolls the fuck into 221B like hi shawty and it is Not like yuumori obviously man's holding a gun but like. What the fuck they are just. They have never met before but They Clearly Have and it's. its so weird

Like honestly I don't dislike og moriarty. He's really what william tried to be (and fucking failed, but beside the point) but like. Dude's so powerful and for what. He just walks into the apartment with No Pretense like why sherlock holmes is that a revolver or are you just happy to see me oh my goodness you are a dolt why would you hold the gun that way. disgusting. disgraceful. dreadful. Oh my god. I love him I'm sorry

abngnahhghifeah;iewh and Why does sherlock describe him like that hes like "MANS A REALLY REFINED LIZARD /pos" HIEHIFEHW:HGIHOEWFEEW FOR WHAT. FOR W H A T

baaaaaaaaghhhhhh but likeeeee they went STRAIGHT to "you know what I'm here for" "you know how I'm going to respond" "well then" "yeah" "mhm" "damn well it really do be like that sometimes" "ur really smart by the way" "im fucking aware let's kill each other as we both Thought in our Minds" "yes lets" AHDHDHDHDFS WTF THIS IS INSANE

But damn uh. mutual destruction my beloved this is very different from sherliam but im not. im not. opposed to it tucks hair behind ear

I just. Holy shit they really went "if you destroy me I will ensure that we both go down hand in unlovable hand" "I wouldn't mind that"

Annnnd I just noticed that the actual lines for this part kind of. that kind of happened in chapter 31 when sherlock was like i would Gladly die to take down the lord of crime and william was like. hahahah yeahNO NO NO NO

BUT SERIOUSLY THO IM LOSING MY MIND OVER HOW SHERLOCK SAYS THIS WHOLE THING TO WATSON AND HES LIKE DAMN SHAWTY HES LIKE THE REASON FOR HALF THE CRIME IN THIS CITY BUT HES SO NICE THO??? LIKE I EXPECTED HIM TO BE TOUGH AND EVERTHING NO HES JUST SOME POLITE PROPER UNDERSTANDABLE MAN WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE VERY DIABOLICAL shawty is having a Crisis

And then watson is like wowww that was cool you wanna spend the night and sherlock is like "UNFORTUNATELY BESTIE I AM BEING FUCKING TRACKED DOWN ID LIKE YOU TO NOT DIE WITH ME"

This bit gave me a Moment Moment because oh my god. Then watson is like "no shut up i'm coming with you i don't care" and i just had to Take A Minute because THEY SWITCHED PLACES AAH SHERLOCK IS TRYING TO KEEP WATSON SAFE NOW AND WATSON IS NOW MORE RECKLESS BC OF HIM AND. AHHHH

Completely random but. How sherlock still refers to 221B as "our rooms" to watson even though watson hasn't lived their in years........ shawty i am emotional.........

SO THEY GODDAMN FLEE THE COUNTRY TOGETHER BC WATSON SAYS THEY HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER AND SHERLOCK HAS A MOMENT WHERE HE'S LIKE YEAH NEVERMIND PLEASE GO HOME WATSON AND WATSON IS JUST LIKE. NO. AND HSERLOCK IS LIKE. DAMN OK I HAVE NEVER HEARD YOU SAY THAT BEFORE

But. Ok as funny as this is. They have this fucking Conversation on the train to switzerland where sherlock is like "I have not lived in vain" and watson is like "YOURE NOT DYING" and hes like "i have not lived in vain. like i said. this will not be a bad way to die" UHHHHHH DAMN SHAWTY

hhhhhh and it just Gets. it. it. it Gets. These fuckers get to switzerland and they stay in a hotel and then leave for reichenbach but watson gets this goddamn letter telling him that hes needed at the hotel to basically save this lady's life. And he doesn't. Like. he doesn't even want to go he's like FUCK IT SHE CAN DIE IM NOT LEAVING YOU but sherlock convinces him to go fULLY KNOWING THE LETTER WAS FUCKING FAKED BY MORIARTY JUST AS A PLOY TO GET HIM ALONE

AND THEN HE JUST. WENT ANYWAY AND WATSON HAD TO WATCH HIM JUST LIKE GODDAMN WALK OFF INTO THE SUNSET LIKE "LITTLE DID I KNOW THIS WOULD BE THE LAST TIME I WOULD SEE HIM BUT IT JUST. IT HAD THAT VIBE YKNOW"

God I just. Wow sherlock really did that huh. He really went and did that. And I went over it in the post about this compared to yuumori but it just RUINED me how watson just. Never saw what happened and there's just so little information about it that all they have is these assumptions and pieces that just suggest that these guys met up, walked up to the goddamn waterfall having a nice civil conversation about how talented and smart they both were at this and how they revealed their methods to each other and complimented them because of course they did

And they just sat up there talking to each other so long and Moriarty legit waited politely or even possibly was the one that suggested he write a letter to watson in which sherlock just went "damn lol moriarty's pretty nice actually anyway uhhhh sorry watson ily ✌" and just like. left it up there in his damn cigarette box

But just like. damn the insinuation that moriarty just sat there and watched while he wrote that entire goddamn letter, sealed it up, and then got up and went alright buddy let's go but it makes no goddamn sense if they wanted to actually kill each other and assure they themselves would survive I could name like 23 different ways they could have managed it so easily and they Didn't. they were really set on mutual destruction huh. There's no way they were even trying to do anything but Die Together at that point and that's Something huh

It absolutely baffles me how they could say that these guys had plummetted like, holding each other tho. Like. ok lol but How Do You Even Know

It was certainly a ride. But the fact that Watson had to actively try to think like Sherlock to figure out what happened in the scene was just. The cherry on top. Especially after they'd consciously started to switch roles in this i just. Damn.

In conclusion uhhhhhhhh gay people real I suppose

[noorengels]

reasons i am sad (friendship edition)

in year 4 my best friend invited everyone to her birthday party and not me and they all actually kept it a secret really well they almost pulled it off except she held her party in la plaza which basically is the hangout spot for families in that area i spent all my fridays there playing until midnight bc literally everyone from school would go. so i was walking home with my entire family inc grandparents and uncles and we went through la plaza and there they were! every single one of my friends at her party! apparently her mum didnt let her invite me bc apparently i hit her which i didn’t i hit another girl so her excuse is invalid and its the first time ive been so publicly excluded i cried on a bench.

in year 7 we hated this girl bc she was so fake i genuinely believe she is a psychopath like she has all the symptoms except shes in set 5 maths lol so my friend was like what if i spread a rumour about her and i was like lol do it and she did and for some reason i was blamed??? and lost all of my friends and she bullied me so hard but i didnt realise bc i was “friends” with her bc our mums were friends so shed like walk with me to lessons and talk to me while belittleing me and idk she was just a fucking bitch she made me feel so horrible like it was emotional bullying but also like telling everyone who i liked and saying lmao you literally have no friends “count how many friends you have? omg you literally cant even reach ten can you???” like in front of everyone but then shed also be really nice to me at the same time like idk it was like she was my friend but she bullied me it was so horrible saffa i hate you and the original friend who spread the rumour went on to become her best friend for like 6 years so uh hate that

managed to make friends with people not in my class in year 8! which sucked bc saffa had alienated people in my class so now they all just didnt like me i was the weird girl with no friends because of her and it was so horrible bc id always be forced to join the ready made groups between friends by the teacher  bc i didnt have a group to work with or id get paired with the weird girl like i was only the weird girl after saffa made everyone hate me this girl was weird bc she just is idk 

in year 10 they made a gc without me! i basically created that group tho like i gathered these friends i hade made in different lessons (obviously not in my main class lol) and they literally just??? decided to exclude me for no reason. and then theyd talk about what they talked about in the gc in front of me like “omg remember last night on the gc” isha ur so fucking boring no normal person talks about their gc with the same people again do u have no other conversational points smh

in year 11 it got so bad to the point where once i sat with them and they all just left! like they took their stuff and moved to the table behind me i wanted to cry so bad i did at home i think its the worst one out of all of these because it happened to my face? idk saffa was horrible too but this was just “were leaving” idk like ive never felt as horrible as i did in that moment i cant even describe how im feeling rn reliving it

its okay bc i made friends with my best friend from sciences + history bc our surnames are next to each other so we always sat together! i honestly clung to this girl after that bc i refused to spend a second longer with that other group after 3 years of enduring not even being liked by ur friends so i made friends with her friends which was easy bc yes! 

so by the first term of year 12 i had three friends! in fact one of them was like ur not having a birthday party??? im taking u out to eat so my first birthday event thing in literally years was all thanks to arun i am honestly so grateful for him he didnt even go bc he was busy and we planned it the day before my birthday but it was literally me and two friends eating pizza at zizzis and im crying so much rn but year 12 was when i found people who genuinely cared about me

we established a group of like 8 lol and were planning a holiday for the end of year 13! very skam of us! we had a gc and everything! we were gonna go to spain bc im spanish so i could speak!

this trip was unspoken of in year 13 and i was like lol kinda weird um okay but nope nothing weird about it they just created a chat without me and were still going to spain!!! one of them even sent me screenshots of their airbnb to translate its like u want me to know lol

i did complain to one of them but thats it i was just hurt on my own and coronavirus happened so it got cancelled anyways so i won really

in yr 13 i also got closer to this boy called adam! i remember my friend was like you two would get on so well idk why ur not friends and i was like idk its adam lol do i really want to and yes i did bc he is in fact the isak to my sana! but anyways i hate him but i love him we have that kinda friendship where were alwAYS trying to beat the other one up and honestly the most heart felt goodbye when schools shut was between us both bc at first we were fighting and then he just stopped and his eyes softened and i was like whats wrong with you why arent u punching me and he went come here and we hugged and its like wow despite being a dick ill miss you

anyways so uhhh quarantine we skyped often it was fun and then restrictions were lifted i went to spain and the second i land they all stop talking in the gc????? like im abroad not dead why are u creating a new one??? this gc was agressively spammed so i know for a fact theres another im not stupid

i come back from spain and theyre like can we meet!!! we meet three weeks later and theyr like i missed u so much im so happy uou came i love you and it felt really genuine like they genuinely missed me

two days later i find out through snapchat theyve all gone on holiday together!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of them and just ofc didnt invite me they went to the beach for two days and kept posting about it and im so bitter about it like bro???????? why so secretive????? like i cried so much when i saw bc they still just idk why does every single friendgroup ive ever been in exclude me like i must be the problem theres no other explanation for it i am not the kind of person people want to have around i am so funny but im a bitch and will come for ur ass because i have the inability to lie i have no filter either which i know makes them dislike me i know it does but thats the price you oay for being my friend i just say things as it is becauxe i hate secrets bc secrets are always about excluding me so i rather be honest and upfront but that clearly puts people off bc im too upfront and im not getting a personality transplant im not tryna be boring but im so sick of always being the one on her own

adam was relevant uh hews my only friend rn he checked up on me the other day so cheers adam for making sure im not completely isolated

the funny thing is that all my friends hate adam bc “hes a dick” hes not he just says things how it is were so similar so if they hate adam they hate me and im over being hated lol bye!

i start uni next week and i clearly have no social skills so im not gonna make friends im so scared of being lonely i hate being left out

this went from sad to full on angry like i was crying at some point and now im fuming like im so hot rn my blood pressure isnt doing okay

[macklives]

session 77 end

so that was long, huh?

maybe bc of the flash and i basically wanted to cherish everything so i commented on every part of it like wow no need mack but i did just that bc i had nothing better to do, kallie, SO ANYWAYS

hope i didnt burn any of you guys out, thats was nice, i feel refreshed

uhhh where do i even fucking start????????????

i guess ill give a rundown of the flash???

bro and jack have fucking beef, they fighting it out uhhhh but then jack killed like every soldier, skaia AND prospit and idk became babadook OH YES! HE SHOT LAVA OUT OF HIS KNUCKLES TOO! jade’s dream body is dead and john finally woke up while i was unconsciously joking about random stuff right before death happened so my bad lmfao it caused jade’s robot to explode tho so mmh and dave and rose are badass motherfuckers but rose is lowkey destroying the game bc thats how life be sometimes

and AND???

we’re GENUINELY either at the end of act 4 right now or its hussie playing around so im not gonna comment on that yet

oh the babies have been released

uhhh

BRO STRIDER WAS ON A METEOR???????????? AND SPLIT IT IN HALF FOR DAVE TO ENTER????? LEGIT WHAT KIND OF DRUGS AM I ON?????

anyways

before that whole fiasco of a flash, we got the dialogue which basically explained GC befriending dave through funny shit and making their own see party, rose telling kanaya she’s busy and me finding out AT and jade were already friends to begin with and was actually foreshadowing dream self deaths! wow! fun!

this session was something else and...... maybe act 5 soon, next few pages, i damn hope. bc ive heard good things about it. and by good things i mean “people have skipped just to get to act 5″ and “it good” and thats about it. hope to see what thats about. and thanks for sticking around, probably wont do a longish sesh like this in a while tho bc it needs a good attention span and i do not have that lol

[cookinguptales]

I've a small query (if it doesn't float your boat, no worries!) I was interested in how you got into learning languages, what led you to it? I've become curious since learning a new language as an adult has only increased my awe of multilingual folk (additionally, I vaguely remember a post about a request in exchange for a donation to charity, and wondered if there were any you'd like a donation to)

First of all, good luck with the language learning! It’s not easy as an adult, but I do think it’s worth it, both in terms of cultural fluency and brain elasticity.

My answer to the language thing is actually extremely complicated, so I’ll be putting it under the cut. I’ll put the charity stuff above the cut so more people can see it.

— I’d just like to warn you, though, before I start, that I have been locked in this house for over a month with no respite and I HAVE A LOT OF WORDS AND FEELINGS IN ME SO THIS POST HAS SO MANY OF BOTH OF THOSE THINGS!!

anyway

There are so many charities that I want to donate to now that it honestly makes my head spin. Every time I look at a site like GoFundMe it kind of makes me want to cry. So a lot of donations I’ve made have been to like local businesses, restaurants, etc. who will close down without help. (Also a lot of local native groups, who are disproportionately suffering right now.) I’ve also been donating to various food banks — Philabundance, a Philly-centric charity that deals with food insecurity in general, is a good one. That was a regular of mine even before the outbreak. I’ve also donated to a lot of the local services in the small town where I’m in now, though you’ll need to PM me if you want the name of that. (It’s… very small.) 

Off Their Plate is another great charity that’s been working with small restaurants (who can’t open for business) to get food to first responders. They’re partnered with World Central Kitchen, which is another fantastic charity that helps out during disasters. Plus well-known ones like Feeding America, No Kid Hungry (important while school is out and kids aren’t getting breakfast/lunch there), Direct Relief, etc.

(I uhhh may have overstrained my charity budget the past couple months. It’s odd how that adds to stress and relieves it at the same time.)

I tend to avoid religious charities, especially Salvation Army, because they’re occasionally discriminatory in how they distribute resources and we no longer have laws & oversight to make sure they don’t do shady shit. So I just avoid them in general now. I also avoid the American Red Cross because they’ve been known to misuse funds. Research is key!

I also worry about some of my regular charities, like Immigration Equality & Rainbow Railroad (helps LGBTQ people in dangerous countries immigrate to less dangerous ones), the Native American Rights Fund, various local abortion funds, RAICES (provides legal services to immigrants & refugees), the ACLU, Dysautonomia International, the Rainforest Action Network, etc… A lot of them are getting fewer donations than they’re used to because we’re in the middle of such life-shattering events.

If you are really interested in making a donation (please, please, please do) those are all good options. I also fully recommend looking up needy organizations, services, people, etc. in your own area. I try to donate to a healthy mixture of national/international organizations, local needs, and temporary issues du jour. (Disaster relief, bail funds for protesters, fighting new discriminatory laws, etc.) I would genuinely appreciate any donations, especially if you find a cause near and dear to your heart that I would never even hear about. Anything along these same lines, y’know? If you have anything you’d like me to do in return, just hmu.

I constantly stress about who to donate to — there are so many good organizations and so few dollars to give them — but at a certain point, every dollar to a cause you believe in counts. Every dollar you donate helps to make the world a little bit better for at least one person. That’s what I have to tell myself to calm myself down, haha. So even the smallest donation you make to any of these groups would mean a lot to me.

Anyway, onto the language stuff:

For me personally, I grew up bilingual. Deafness runs in my family, so I learned sign language from a very young age. Note: I say “sign language” rather than ASL. I learned sign language kind of organically, which ended up making a mess later in life. My parents mostly taught me, but so did my daycare (at a deaf school) and so did my babysitters and so did other family members, etc. The point is, not all of them used the same sign language. There was a wide mixture of ASL, SEE, and home signs and my current signing style is… problematic. lmao. My family all understands it (hey, they taught it to me) and I can have conversations with American sign language users, but I know they can’t love my signing lmao. I’ve considered sitting down and taking a legit ASL class for years, but there are so many classes I want to take… I don’t know.

After that, it largely became a case of taking languages whenever they were made available to me. I’ve always liked them. We moved around a lot when I was a preteen so I went to a lot of different schools. (4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade were all different schools.) It was rough at home and hard to make friends so I guess I threw myself into academics a lot. My sixth grade school was an odd one; it was a 6-8 grade school and you were supposed to take a crash course in three different languages in sixth grade so you could choose one and take it in 7th and 8th grade. I ended up taking Spanish, French, and German that year. I liked French best! But then we moved so it was kind of moot. (And I hated German, sorry Germans. My mouth doesn’t like the noises. It didn’t help that my teacher was weirdly sympathetic to Nazi-era Germany…? But I guess that’s another post.)

When we moved to Florida, you had to have special permission to take language classes in 7th grade. (FL doesn’t have great academics.) But since I’d already had some Spanish in NC, they let me take it! And then I moved schools again. This new school, my 8th grade school, I’d be in until I graduated 12th grade years later — but the employee turnover at that school was almost comedically bad?  I took Spanish for like a year and a half there and had three different teachers. So at this point I’d had 5 different Spanish teachers, all from different countries (where they spoke slightly different Spanish!), all reteaching the same ideas over and over again because they didn’t know where the last teacher had left off. In the end, my last Spanish teacher sent me to the school library with some textbooks because he felt like I was very good at languages and he couldn’t adequately teach me in the environment he’d been thrown into. (My high school was very terrible. So he was right.)

SO I SWITCHED TO FRENCH. I took French for 3-4 years in high school (can’t remember when I started) but the same shit started happening. By the last year, my French teacher had the French I, II, III, and IV students IN THE SAME CLASS and she just put the advanced students in small groups and had us do independent study. Sigh… Around this same time, I started three other languages. At this point, I was getting kind of accustomed to self-study so I applied for a Latin class in the Florida Virtual School and took a year of that. I also spent a summer studying at the University of Chicago when I was 16-17 and learned Middle Egyptian then. (Yes, I was an ancient cultures nerd even back then.)

The Japanese has always been an odd case. Like I said, my 8-12 education was fairly terrible. They had this thing where they used a computer program to teach kids math and the teacher kind of taught along? When I transferred to the school in the middle of 8th grade, the teacher didn’t know what to do with me so he just plopped me in front of a computer and told me to do as much as I could. They started me in… Pre-Algebra, I think? Which I’d already taken in sixth grade. So I ended up getting through Pre-Algebra, Geometry, Algebra, and Algebra II, which… wasn’t in the teacher’s plans. I’d kind of finished several years of math in like a quarter. And then they didn’t have any more classes. So he just told me to like. Sit quietly and amuse myself for the last few months of school?? (Terrible, terrible school.) So I went to the library and found a book about Japanese and started teaching myself that. I really, really liked Japanese! Like it’s a language that just clicks really well with the way my brain works, I think. It’s very logical, I like the syllabary, etc. And I think growing up signing helped me with pictographic languages like Middle Egyptian and Japanese. My brain easily connects visual symbols with concepts.

When I went to college, the plan was honestly to learn more Egyptian and start translating, and I kept taking French to help me read old research in various ancient study fields. I ended up transferring out of the NELC major, though, due to some ethical problems… I guess that’s another post. Several years into my RELS/FOLK degree I went to my parents like. Look. I love learning this stuff but none of it’s useful. Remember how much I loved Japanese? Can I go back to learning that? I could translate that and that’s a legit skill. So I applied to a program through my school and studied in Japan for a while and ended up really doubling down on that language. Weird how I came back to it years later, but I guess it was always the one I loved best.

I have a mind that’s very pattern-based, so I guess I’ve always loved learning languages and the patterns behind them. (This may be why languages with a lot of rule exceptions, like French, irritate me.) They’re like puzzles that I’ve always enjoyed teasing out. Unfortunately, the way my education bounced around meant that I never got a good grounding in most of those languages, so I’ve largely lost them. I can still read French fairly well and my Japanese is good… My Spanish is like. Enough to get me around in the southern US. My German is abysmal. I remember very little Latin & Middle Egyptian. (It’s been over 10 years, I guess.)

So I guess what I feel the need to say to you is that if you don’t use it, you will lose it. I did well in all my language classes. They’ve always been fairly easy for me. Like. Straight As, no problem. I don’t say this to brag. I say it so you know that even for someone like me, whose brain is fairly well-wired for languages, it’s very, very difficult to retain languages when you’re not using them. If you’re not used to taking languages or you started late in life, it’s even harder. So even on the days you don’t want to practice! You gotta practice! Ganbare! Bon chance!

[tumblunni]

Does anyone in Wales wanna meet up and say hi?

I dunno if any of my followers live near me! I know most of my besties live in america but do any of you live anywhere in the UK?

I'm totally broke right now so i cant get to england/ireland/scotland, but my disability bus pass lets me travel for free anywhere within Wales. Its been a HUGE help towards my mental health, there were about two years where i never went outside my one local street at all and that sort of isolation just amplifies mental illness.

So umm yeah ive recently become brave enough to visit places i dont know and meet new people. It still makes me anxious as heck but i can actually accomplish it! I feel proud and i wanna continue getting better! seriously all this fresh air has done wonders for me and i need to find more ways to pass the time outdoors even when im broke cos i know if i let myseld self-isolate again til my next benefits payment then im just gonna fall into the same anxiety spiral again.

So umm yeah if any of you guys live in wales or are gonna be in wales this month, would you like to hang out? :D

Or also if anyone just knows any cool places in wales i could go to that are free. Or if anyone could help me make up some ways to amp myself up for going on walks even when i dont have something to do? Like.. If i dont have a "mission" of some sort then i cant distract myself from my anxiety. Its really dumb. I havent yet progressed to the point that im actually able to enjoy socializing or enjoy walking around like.. On its own,for its own merits. But at least now im managing to enjoy doing stuff in busy public places, enpugh so that it can outweigh the panic. Someday that panic will be truly defeated and i can go back to just enjoying walks!! Man i still remember how i really enjoyed Just Walking Around when i was stuck with my dad, i'd be able to just walk the same laps arpund the local shops and park and the scenery itself would inherantly calm me. But then as i continued to grow up under his abusive parenting i started being afraid of other people, feeling like theyd all be thinking the same things he said to me. That sort of isolating tactic where your abuser will be all "you cant survive alone oh im the best thing youll ever have, everyone else will be even worse". To make sure you're too scared to seek help! Its fucked up! And i hate that it actually got worse for the first few years after i left him,cos of the pressures of suddenly having to live alone and be independant when you'd had all independance burned out of you. And then id feel like if i wasnt getting better that meant that he was right, yknow? Anyway thats why im SO HAPPY that i've been making progress!!

So umm lol you can help me continue my Being A Mentally Healthy Person Practise by giving me Missions!

Just..any excuse to go outside. Anything i can do to occupy my mind whenever i start getting The Panics. "Hey bunni i challenge you to go to a place you've never been which begins with the letter M!" "Hey bunni try and find the funniest restaurant names in town!" "Hey bunni ride this random bus number you havent tried before and then ride it back home again!" "Hey bunni keep an eye on the ground and see if you can find three lost pennies before you get home!" "Hey bunni draw my art request but do it while sitting outside somewhere to get over your fear of doing stuff outside somewhere!" "Hey bunni try and pay attention to your surroundings while on your walk and then design a fakemon based on 3 interesting things you saw!"

I dunno lol...

Uhhh.. Probably the best kind of stuff for missions would be stuff that encourages me to go to new places, or to try and come out of my shell a bit more in the places i know. Like dont just be all hyper focused on not freaking out, actually look around a bit more. But its hard to be observant when my attention keeps getting dragged back to panic, so dumb stuff like "count how many red cars"would help trick my stupid misbehaving brain into accidentally doing something healthy for once! Its like i cant be left unsupervised?? Whenever i dont have a Goal or Reason or Distraction for a thing, my default setting for that thing is always Panic And Run. *shrug* Also just im a dumb person who gets easily entertained by goofy mission time. Making stuff into a game has always been my coping strategy, ive been making lots of progress just by keeping a notepad and giving myself experience points for every kilometre i walked per day. And also this is why taking photos of tiny gengar in cute places is truly a healing act!!!!!

[maternalcube]

i did an art summary so now im doing a fic summary. i was tagged by @jamthedingus also!! ive never done one of these before!! lets go!!!

Rest (13106)

Keith & Lance's Island Adventure (20631)

Atlantis (10014 words)

The Way to a Man’s Heart (6858 words)

nobody's business (2096 words)

leave, and take (557 words)

dead girl walking (1661 words)

the course of fate (1039 words)

who ya gonna call (465 words)

come here often? (806 words)

til kingdom come (1950 words)

stars in the sky (pt 2) (5404 words)

a song of falling (630 words)

Eyes to the Sky (3683 words)

Feet on the Ground (4050 words)

Divergence (6669 words)

homecoming (1426 words)

Window of Opportunity (11144 words)

along that wilderness of glass (3801 words)

string theory (2327 words)

Katt Week (1062 words)

The Pining-Plant (3860 words)

at the end of many worlds (21684 words)

you're my home (19646 words)

Believe Me (3177 words)

Starchild (3568 words)

Summer Heat (2285 words)

third time's the charm (5349 words)

Blackbird (59546 words)

The Sixth Planet (9444 words)

all the infinite realities (1197 words)

Total Fics: 31! (plus one i posted anonymously lmao) Total Words: 229999! (except parts of string theory and the sixth planet were actually posted last year... but still, what a number)

more under the cut!

Ship/character breakdown: i didnt filter out my prompt collection or abandoned wips here so /shrug Ship breakdown:

klance - 6 sheith - 5 shance - 5 katt - 4 heith - 3 pallura - 2 and one each of plance, kallura, allurance, shatt, shkatt, kidge, kidgance, and shunk. and keiths parents lol. let it never be said i am not a multishipper.

and i know gen isnt a ship but it tied with klance at 6 (plus whatevers in the prompt collection) which was a surprise

Character breakdown: man if theres a way to get ao3 to show me ALL the stats, i dont know it. but.

keith - 25 (shocker) shiro - 23 lance - 21 pidge - 17 hunk - 16 allura - 12 matt - 12 and then coran and sam are at 4, and zarkon ats 3 and presumably many others are at 3 or less

Characters that had the main focus: well ~9 were from keiths pov, and ~5 each from shiro and lances povs. i think i also had ~5 from multiple points of view. its safe to say that keith has my heart tho lol

Specifics:

Best/worst title? Best title: i still like “at the end of many worlds.” i weirdly still like “Blackbird” too even if it has nothing to do with anything... Worst title: “Rest.” :/ also like all of the abandoned wips bc i didnt care. and “Keith & Lance's Island Adventure.″ some of my zine fic titles were also... bad. im bad at titles.

Best/worst first line?

Best: Keith & Lance's Island Adventure. ok the title is bad but this line? this really sets the tone for whole fic. you know what youre getting yourself into here.

When Pidge invited Keith to a fully-funded graduation party aboard the Holt family boat (“the smaller one, anyway,” she’d said), this is not exactly what he'd pictured: three of them standing on a wobbly dock, packed bags at their feet, sky cloudy and gray, while the Holt siblings stand on a little ledge off the back of the boat and deny entry.

Worst: ive got two for this lol

at the end of many worlds: even i have to read this a couple times to figure out what i was trying to say. at least you know youre in for pain...

Keith’s mother shows up to interrupt movie night often enough that, this time, Keith almost doesn’t realize anything’s wrong. Almost, because she’s silhouetted by the movie, but she’s clutching her arm and panting for breath, and in the thin edge of light around her he sees a wet and vibrant red.

Divergence: because all your friends being dead is EXACTLY like losing at dodgeball. yeah, theres a reason i abandoned this one.

Hunk always hated playing dodgeball. Not because he was bad at it--though he was--but because he always ended up the last one standing, and therefore the only target for the entire other team. It was due to a tendency to hang unnoticed in the back, he knew, but that didn't change the sickening, empty feeling of looking around and realizing there's no one left but him, and there's no way he can win. Only wait for the inevitable.

This, Hunk decides, is a lot like that, only, like, a billion times worse.

Best/worst last line?

Best: The Pining-Plant. there are a few others that were cute too but this one is also good out of context so

And then the pod swishes open and he's scrambling to catch Pidge as she stumbles out. She clings to his arms to steady herself and his heart swells.

"Falling for me again, huh?" he asks, and she groans loudly.

"Let me go, I'm getting back in the pod," she says, and he laughs. He doesn't let go, and neither does she.

Worst: if im bad at titles, im worse at endings. most are bad. i suspect the ending to “Rest” is terrible but i cant bring myself to even open that shit again so: Believe Me. if weather were a recurring theme in this fic, itd be fine, but as is its just... a weird note to end the fic on lmao

Hunk rocks back on his heels. "We aren't counting this as our official first date, right?"

"I dunno," Keith says, and now he smiles at the rain instead of frowning. It shows no sign of easing up, but whatever—they're soaked anyway. "This seems pretty good to me."

“...All right.” If nothing else, it’ll make a good story. And, Hunk had to admit—he’s pretty happy with how it’s turned out, rain and all.

But next time, he's double-checking the forecast, just in case.

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

more than i expected! considering ive been in grad school all year!! i wrote about the same amount wordcount-wise in 2017 which i spent only half in school so. idk how i managed it.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

the anonymous fic was a surprise but im not gonna talk about that lol. otherwise... nah, its all been my usual stuff.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

blackbird, probably. i like working on that one. summer heat was also fun, id sort of forgotten about it bc it was a zine fic but coming back to it, i really liked it. likewise with third time’s the charm. and i like t6p a lot even if i kinda hate drawing for it :’)

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

depends on your metric. window of opportunity has the most kudos, keith and lance’s island adventure has the most hits, and t6p has the most comments and subscriptions. 

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

AT THE END OF MANY WORLDS. oh man i killed myself over that fic. it was important to me. but i think the mcd scared everyone off :’)

Story that could have been better?

i realize “all of them” is kind of a cop out answer but like

Sexiest story?

i have written nothing sexy, ever, in my whole life

Saddest story?

i mean, ateomw. considering all the death. blackbird def has its moments too.

Most fun?

i feel like i answered this in the favorite story q lmao. you’re my home also gets a shoutout, that thing was,, super self-indulgent lmao. and id be lying if i said i didnt have fun with parts of ateomw, even if its mostly sad.

Story with single sweetest moment?

man i write a lot of fluff but so much of you’re my home is just tooth-rotting. heres part of the proposal scene lmao

"Lance!" Keith yelps, barely rescuing the ring from falling into the sand with them. Lance pushes himself up on his arms, silhouetted by the sun and glowing with it.

"Really?" he asks breathlessly.

"Yeah," Keith says, and maybe he should've prepared something to say, that's a thing people do, right? Hell, he's winging it. "I know we can't stay here on Earth forever, 'cause we're paladins, and there's still stuff out there we gotta do. And I know you probably want to stay because this is your home—but you're my home, and if we gotta go, at least you'll have me, good or bad." He grins crookedly. "Or rocket science. Whatever happens, I'll be there."

Hardest story to write?

well t6p gets a shoutout, but its not the writing thats the hard part for that. uhhh ive struggled with parts of blackbird. i remember k&l’s island adventure giving me a LOT of trouble, i think i posted late lol

Easiest/most fun story to write?

anything short uhhh for all the infinite realities, i kind of just sat down the other day (actually i was in bed but) and was like “im gonna write this” and then in the morning i just sat down and wrote it in one go. i dunno if id call it fun, but it was easy. t6p is super fun to write but, as mentioned, drawing it sucks.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

no... my perceptions probably have shifted but not due to anything i wrote in particular. i did talk myself into liking allurance with a prompt fill, though, but im not sure that was 2018...

Most overdue story?

all the infinite realities lmao. at the end of many worlds needed that happy ending. and another shoutout to t6p, because thats been going on over a year and im still nowhere.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

does posting my abandoned wips count? ive still got some of those hanging around... blackbird was a bit of a risk bc my last longfic was written while i was unemployed and out of school, so like i had the time for it, and now i kinda dont. still chugging tho. ateomw b/c of all the death but it turns out i really like writing whump woops. and writing any sort of kissing always feels like a risk bc i suck at it but im getting better lol... i hope...

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

write more! finish things! do more sheith! i really want to work on this sheith longfic i came up with the other day... but i want to get blackbird over with first.

Tagging: eh! do it if you want to!

[sakurabaneku]

anime expo was soooooooooo much and it was so hot and overwhelming (and yes, crowded) but i had so much fun! under the cut because i sure do talk a lot

i knew ax was big but WHOA OK its on a whole nother level!! i dont think i even saw the entirety of the convention center and i didnt even step into the jw! wow ok! i was really worried about it being overwhelming and everyone being too busy to.. be friendly i guess but that wasnt really a problem!! everyone was really friendly, especially at the meets!! the ff meet was on the hottest day of the weekend and it was overcrowded and difficult to get things organized but everyone was still friendly and talkative and looking out for each other in that wild heat!! SHOUT OUT TO THE ZACK FAIR PHOTOBOMBING THE SHOOT BY DOING SQUATS IN THAT HEAT!! you really are a hero, zack fair. you really are.

speaking of the heat, idk how i survived in noctis all day in.. 106 or something degree weather but i loveloveLOVED being him!! it was worth the suffering!!!! one of my favorite costumes ive done so far i think and i got so many super nice comments from people on it and waah! also got arrested by the thot patrol and shoved into the ballpit by ardyn and ik ive already posted pics but that was fun. i didnt take nearly enough shitty meme pictures honestly. smh. I DIDNT GET A PICTURE OF ME GETTING FRIENDZONED BY LUNAFREYA which happened. noctis did a heart hand luna thumbs up’d. rip noctis. 

cosplaying kingdom hearts is always a really fun time and im kinda glad i didnt finish riku in time bc kairi was a godsend of a costume. so comfortable. bless. and i just love being her!! im glad i brought my pins back to give out, everyone had the CUTEST reactions!! a sora also tossed me a little paopu fruit as he walked by which was really sweet and its soft and adorable!! 

it was also the first time i wore bakura which was uhhhh and experience and that costume didnt make it home in one piece lol i really didnt feel great in it but i still had some fun!! littlekuriboh complimented it lol so like, my inner 10 year old can die happy! 

i think the thing that really made this con was the people!! rooming with sharon, janice and emma was like, the best, chillest hotel room and i hadnt seen any of them in EONS i miss u guys come back to cali soon!!!! and meeting angel and aj was really nice and i had a lot of fun hanging out with them and also going to dennys at midnight in cosplay. andrew and jesse are local friends so i see them a lot but it was still fun hanging out with them at the con! they braved the outdoors to meet up with me at the ff shoot. brave souls. 

i met a lot of real cool new people too, and people id seen once or twice before at cons and got to spend more time with and everyone was just! really nice!! and fun to talk to!! hopefully the people i met felt the same about me and i didnt annoy anyone or talk anyones ear off.. too much cause i sure do that my apologies if i was the biggest pest in the universe!!! 

ALSO SPENT A LOT OF TIME IN ARTIST ALLEY LOL.. someone was selling ffxv omanjuus so i got a prompto and a noctis!! omanjuus are my absolutest favoritest kind of merch ever. im so happy. actually i mostly just bought xv merch for myself... OOPS i got some cute sorikai tho!!! i got more stickers for my travel sketchbook :3 

AND!!!!! AND I GOT TO PLAY KH3 DEMO!!!! the lines were capped for most of the weekend... except for when i walked by and one of the booth employees went “PSST HEY GUYS, WANNA PLAY KINGDOM HEARTS 3?” hells yeah. uh, i know some people dont wanna see details about kh3 until they actually play it and idk if anyones actually READING this but im gonna talk about the demo so like.. leave now if u dont wanna see any of that

the gameplay!! was so good!! it was so FAST and smooth and intuitive! but it was creative and cool and you can switch keyblades in combat and the attraction attacks are SO CUTE! theres something so emotionally satisfying about killing things with the tea cups. you could play olympus and/or toy story world if you had time to do both in the 15 minutes you got (i finished toy story and almost finished olympus!) the toy story world was so cute!! TOY SORA IS THE MOST ADORABLE and fighting in the mechs was actually really fun!! the cutscenes were included for toy story but there were 7 minutes of cutscene so i skipped it rip. there’s nothing new that hasnt been seen in trailers and stuff yet but it was super fun to actually play it!! it’s a lot like bbs/ddd gameplay but a lot better and idk, im not an expert in gamedev but it just felt like combat had a good.. flow to it and its a million lightyears away from the clunky gameplay of kh1!!!! ITS COME SO FAR!! IM PROUD! and also it just feels like its a REAL CONCRETE thing thats actually happening now that ive actually gotten a chance to play it for real. kh3 isnt fake yall. wow. wow. 

ANYWAY. THAT WAS A LOT OF TALKING AND I FEEL LIKE THERES A HUNDRED MORE THINGS I WANNA SAY it was a good weekend. im very tired. im so sad its over. idk when my next con is but im hoping mayyybe ala???? maybe????????? we’ll see! other than that uhhh i really just have disneyland planned so... i guess its time to actually finish riku for the halloween party.

[angelixii]

1-140 (anything you haven't answered already) - Felix

Oh, hello! Thanks for the ask!! 💕

3 fears - Spiders (I get frightened when I think about them) heights (slightly) and the public (anything like murder, kidnapped, ya know stupid people)

 3 Things I love - Music, Idols, and animals

 2 Turns on - ig Hats (like snapbacks) and glasses

 2 Turns off - oof I don’t really know.. ig self absorbed or a fudge boy

 My best friend - C: @straykids-sk (wuv you)

 How tall am I - 5′2

 What do I miss right now - My cat that passed away :c (her name was P.J)

 Favourite color - Blue, red, and sometimes green

 Do I have a crush - no not really

 Favourite place - my home

 What am I listening to right now - theres a website called asoftmurmur.com and it has noises like rain or waves and stuff like that

 Shoe size - pretty sure 10 in US womens

 Eye color - brown

 Hair color - light-ish brown

 Meaning behind my URL - I chose Felix cause hes my bias wrecker and hes angelic C:

 Favourite song - Theres like a million but 5SOS’s She Looks So Perfect wil always be a favorite (idk why)

 Favourite band - Ill just chose Stray Kids cause I don’t wanna write them all out

 How I feel right now - kinda tired but ig ok

 Someone I love - Ill say my best fren Georgia (@straykids-sk) cause i wuv her

 My current relationship status - single and i kinda wanna stay that way for a while

  My relationship with my parents - We all live in the same house and its just us (I have one other sister but she moved out. But shes here a lot tho) and we all get along well

 Favorite season - probably Spring c:

 Tattoos and piercing I have - none and I don’t really want any

 Tattoos and piercing I want - ^^^

The reasons I joined Tumblr - Georgia wanted me to and I thought it would be fun (I was right c:)

 Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - no :/

 Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - oh heel no she my best fren I would never

 How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - when I have school like 20 minutes at max

 Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? - I did today

 Where am I right now? - at my house on my laptop c:

 Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - reasonable level cause I’ve always had ear problems and they are sensitive (even tho I always have my earbuds in)

 Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - yup

 Am I excited for anything? - not that I can think of no

 Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - nope :/

 How often do I wear a fake smile? - not THAT often

 If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - oooof I don’t think I could answer that question

 What do I think about most? - probably k-pop

 Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Definitely behind

 What was the last lie I told? - It was kinda a joke but “i’ll do it because im the good child”

 Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Eh depends on who it is but facetiming/video chatting

 Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - ghosts kinda and aliens, I mean sure we’ve barely discovered space, who knows whats out there

 Do I believe in magic? - sometimes yeah

 Do I believe in luck? - I mean yeah

 What’s the weather like right now?- theres nothing really going on

 What was the last book I’ve read? - uhhhhhh fully on my own (not in class)? The Maze Runner Scorch Trials

 Do I have any nicknames? - Kassadoodle, Kassidilla, Kassy

 Do I spend money or save it? - I’m trying to save as much as I can rn in my little money jar c:

 Can I touch my nose with a tounge? - nah

 Favourite animal? - Lions and Fennec Foxes

 What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - uhhh im pretty sure saying goodbye to Georgia on video chat

 What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - oo um I cant really think of one rn :/

 What is my favorite word? - yeet

 My top 5 blogs on tumblr (not in any order)

@honeylixs

@zoxsu

@tinyfigureskater

@stray-kids-dork

@straykidsmate

 If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - I probably wouldn’t say anything cause im shy and afraid people would judge me on what I say c:

 Do I have any relatives in jail? -not that I know of

What is my current desktop picture? - a pic of Bts

Had sex? Bought condoms? Gotten pregnant? Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Had job? Smoked weed? Smoked cigarettes? Drank alcohol?

no to ALL those questions C:

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - nope don’t think I could ever

Been overweight? - …

Been underweight? - no.

Gotten my heart broken? - nah

Been to prom? - nope

Been in airplane? - nope and I never want to really

Learned another language? - I take required (cause im one of the more intelligent kids in school. I know shocker right?) Spanish classes in school but im on summer break so I dont remember any c:

Wore make up?- nope

Dyed my hair? - nope

Had a surgery? - plenty of ear surgery and had my tonsils removed

Met someone famous? - nope

Stalked someone on a social network? - nope

Been fishing? - no but my dad has always wanted to take me and it sounds kinda fun

Been rejected by a crush? - nope never really had one and if I did I would never have the guts

What do I want for birthday? - ooo idk but i have to wait till next year anyway cause its already passed

Do I like my handwriting? - sometimes when my hand cooperates

Where do I want to live when older? - with my girl Georgia

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? - nope ima good child (yeah ok suuureee)

What I’m really bad at - running :/

What my greatest achievments are - managing to keep straight A’s and I dont even study cause im online so

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - “u bird cage” - Georgia c;

What I’d do if I won in a lottery - ooooooooof idk

What do I like about myself - uhhhhh heh ig my hair or eyes/eyelashes

My closest Tumblr friend - Georgia (yes I do know her irl but shes honestly the closet tumblr friend I have so)

Any question you’d like? - hmm idk

Are you outgoing or shy? - definitely shy, unless with people im close to then quite crazy

What kind of people are you attracted to? - funny, cute and nice people

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - hA no

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - kinda

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - oof idk

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “ohhhh no XDD” (sent to Georgia)

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - (I already answered this question and don’t wanna answer again)

Do you like it when people play with your hair? - yes I love when freinds at school did (once we were watching a movie in Spanish and my friend next to me was playing with my hair and I almost fell asleep heh)

Do you think there is life on other planets? - totally

Do you like bubble baths? - I haven’t had one in forever

Do you like your neighbors? - only one cause I think im related to them somehow or they are to like my uncle

Where would you like to travel? - out of this hell hole country c:

Favorite part of your daily routine? - checking my tumblr and stanning talent

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - stomach

What do you do when you wake up? - check my notifications on my phone

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - I wish it was more tan than it is (im quite pale)

Do you ever want to get married? - yeah

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? - yes but I hate pony tails so I never do it (I used to all the time as a kid)

Would you rather live without TV or music? - I rarely watch t.v anymore and listen to music almost all day so

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - I mean yeah

What are your favorite stores to shop in? - I dont really have one for clothes but I do like Walmart

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - I mean sometimes

Do you smile at strangers? - If the smile at me first yeah

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - not that I can remember no

Ever wished you were someone else? - no (as much as I hate myself no)

Favorite makeup brand? - son;t wear any so I dont got one

Last thing you ate? - a Reese cup

Ever won a competition? For what? - not a big one I can remeber no

Ever been in love? - c:

Facebook or Twitter? - dont have a fb and i barely use twitter anymore but twitter

Twitter or Tumblr? - DEFINITELy tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? - i mean its always on for bg noise and light so ig so

What color are your towels? - all kinds of colors

Favorite ice cream flavor? - either Strawberry with out the strawberries or cookie dough

First person you talked to today? - my mom

Last person you talked to today? - Georgia

Name a person you hate? - C: theres too many

Name a person you love? - once again, theres too many

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - C: theres too many

Do you tan a lot? - I barely go outside so thats a no

Have any pets? - too many

Do you type fast? - I mean kinda yeah

Do you regret anything from your past? - everything XD

Ever broken someone’s heart? - I highly doubt it

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - C:

Is cheating ever okay? - hell no

Do you believe in true love? - I mean sure

What your zodiac sign? - Pisces

Do you believe in ghosts? - why is this question on here twice?

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou) - “…but not at all overwhelming, the balance of the different fragrances was subtle and flawless.” Twilight - Breaking Dawn (Do NOt ask me why thats the closest book its not mine and ive never read it and i NEVER plan on it)

oof that took like two hours heh.. its now currently 2:18am. and im very tired

but thanks for the ask anyway love! Im sorry for the wait! I was busy today. But im probably going to go to bed now

[uniformbravo]

so...,.,,...,,.,..,......,.,.,..,.,,,,....,,.

it’s 3:30 am & ive just spent the last hour and a half looking up ways to recover data when u have no backups because i accidentally permanently deleted a large portion of the fic i was writing ,,,;;., , yy

i mean. i  m ea n uhhhh this is a lesson i needed to learn?? i guess???? i was um, writing it on my phone, like a fnngj idiot, on the generic note-taking app that has like, the bare minimum of writing capabilities, right. i even mentioned how i had to start a new document bc the first one was getting too laggy after 4000 words, right. it wasn’t very stable or uhhh reliable in the first place?? so why was i using it as the one place to store this fic???

im kind of devastated rn if that wasn’t a given uhhhhh i want to try and rewrite it but first i have to get over the loss and boy what a fuckin. what a doozy am i right hghghghuogooo

bc the thing is i already knew this wasn’t a very secure place to store it and had been considering making a backup , and thats actually what i was doing when i lost it? i have a part 1 and a part 2 right now and i had already transferred part 1 to my laptop via email by copying the whole thing & pasting it over, and that went super well. i went to do the same for part 2 and like. i started the selection at the top and dragged down, but i pulled down so far that my finger was over the keyboard and something stuttered since it was such a big document and uhh,, it stopped selecting but kept the portion i had already highlighted selected, & my finger was on the comma key i guess so it turned that whole selected portion into 3 commas like. all those words i had written turned into “,,,”

the thing about this app is there’s no option to save without quitting, if you exit out of it or back out in any way it autosaves your stuff. there is an undo button, but for some reason it wasn’t an option? it wasn’t highlighted so i guess it didn’t count what i’d just done as something that could be undone? & as soon as i realized that, thats kind of when i lost my marbles, which was my second mistake (or, like, 12th in the grand scheme of things)

because uh, the autosave thing also happens if the screen times out, and i didn’t think to force shut off my phone by taking out the battery until much later, so uh. the screen timed out while i was busy freaking out so it saved those commas so even though i didn’t exit out of the app or anything and just straight up took out the battery, when i turned the phone back on that shit was still royally fucked

it’s even more devastating that i could have saved it if i had thought fast enough, though, because after that i did a test where i deleted the commas and then immediately removed the battery, and when i turned on the phone again the commas were back so i just. oof

so yeahhhhhh that’s kind of a huge bummer.,,.,,,,,,,,,,,.,,.., i’ve looked up a lot of shit in desperation but i think there’s really nothing i can do to get it back, just precautions i can take in the future like mmm saving backups all the time and generally not writing on shitty phone apps that aren’t meant for what i use them for?? 

im kind of exhausted & i kind of dont want to go to bed just bc i know it’ll hurt to wake up and remember what happened but hfff i need sleep i guess.,,.,. maybe to clear my mind or something, so i can get started on rewriting?? i really wish this had happened to the part 1 instead because it’s a slow start to the story & really my least favorite part of the whole thing so far, i already considered rewriting that anyway. and this part that got deleted had one of my favorite scenes that i had worked on so im super upset about that, not quite sure how im gonna be able to recapture that but i had reread it enough times before, i think i can piece something together at least

ahhhhhhhhhh anyway i think i’ll sign off here uh. wow. what a night. everyone, please don’t write your beloved stories in unreliable apps like me, make backups & take screenshots instead of riskily copy/pasting the whole thing at once, it’s fuckin. super not worth the risk. be safe

[unproduciblesmackdown]

hey man your comic stuff?? fucking amazing do you have any tips for a novice child artist such as myself

hmm!!! thats a good question if i have any advice at all…i dont really draw things in comic form that often because of how slow i am…its a whole project for me lol

also natch im just an amateur at all of this vs people who like…pay attention to how to do things really well and/or draw comics on a regular schedule &/or get paid for it and all. so seeing this i was immediately trying to think of like, advice ive seen from random professionals on twitter & stuff & i’ve tried to moreso shake it down to the stuff I’M actually doing when i draw a comic. which is a bit tricky because of my small sample size & the fact that i dont have any kind of consistent process or technique unifying all the comic-type stuff i draw

like sometimes its just a few floating sequential drawings and other times is definitely more like, really thinking of it in terms of how i’m going to structure it in Comic Form & use the format to adjust my presentation of whatever idea i have

like i know ppl whose Job (officially or just by their own standards) to do a bunch of comics pages will do a script of scenes to decide what goes on what page and sort dialogue / action into panels & describe how things will look etc…and then do like maybe really rough layout pre-sketches, then the first rough sketch for a page, an optional more cleaned up sketch layer on top of that, and then the final lineart

i sorrrt of do a version of that, in that i am generally sitting on a Comic Idea for a while before i even start getting into the business of thinking through how it’ll actually work. i have to make sure that im “committed” enough to the idea to wanna make more than one drawing for it, and that i think i have at least a vague notion of how i could put it into a comic. sometimes i DO end up just putting the notion into a single drawing or condensing it into like, 2-3 lil floating drawings or w/e. coz a lot of the times the idea starts out really vague, often with one “moment” that serves as the whole inspiration & that i then try to build a scene/sequence around….a lot of the details beyond that can be really vague in my mind, like the setting or dialogue or who’s involved or what happens or the pacing or extra events or etc…basically Everything is real amorphous for a while

so yea step 1 is me having this one idea and trying to decide if building a scene around it would be a better way to present it vs just having one drawing, & if i think i can actually effectively carry it out….which is in reality even less fancy than it sounds…i just sit on an idea for a while & never get around to actually focusing on it / putting down any of the thoughts abt it that im formulating. but the upshot of me putting it off for forever is that i do end up with a kind of mental script / layout for a comic before i start it…..but even the extensiveness / format of these unwritten scripts varies a lot for me

like, a few times when i have made something that’s maybe longer than just one page &/or something ive been mulling over for an extra long amt of time (which tends to be stuff that is starting out w/ heavier than usual ideas) i’ll like, actually write down what happens page by page, even plan out specific panels, maybe even put down a few rough sketches of certain parts. i’ll have the Main Moment which is the idea that started the whole thing in the first place, but what tends to happen is i’ll come up w other moments that i think could lead up to / frame / follow the main moment, and i pretty much just decide how they all fit into one cohesive piece. so what my “rough drafts” look like for these more extensively planned ones—still really not that exhaustive, i only put things to paper when im basically done enough w my ideas to be just about ready to start actually making them—can vary in their actual formats (e.g. simple chronological bullet points of events, a few drawings, a rough sketch of how the whole thing might look), the core of it is basically just me finding a way to nail down how i’m going to arrange the Moments i have and how i’m going to lead one into the other…….like for things with enough pages / panels, i’ll tend to focus on which Moment will end each page &/or each line of panels, then have an idea of which other Moments i’ll need to put on which of those pages, and kinda figure out how to pace things

again that all sounds like maybe i have a real process…..I Do Not

im kinda lucky in that i think i have a decent sense for composition without having to struggle over it too much. so a lot of times i can leave a lot of that up to be felt out as im actually doing the rough lineart for the first time. i also often don’t nail down panel arrangement that carefully & also make it up as i go along a bit, which is probably not something anyone should emulate. someone was saying something about how some certain page layout of like, 3-something-something panel rows looks best, i dont know. i’m guessing, as with all things, nobody can say “always do this / never do that,” but i think staggering odd/even numbers of panels in each row is always a good guess. just makes it easier for them to read more distinctly at least, surely

sometimes i DO think about certain panels when i wanna frame a certain “shot” in a very specific way. but im just kind of doing whatever. i know vague rules like that wide shots / negative space slows down the pace, vs tightly cropped / small panels / packed w a lot of visual info tends to read as a faster pace, more chaotic. i dont quite go too wild about that sort of thing tho, because for me as a reader, a lot of times really tight shots that are like cutting between 5000 different angles rly fast all in a row, sometimes it is absolutely unreadable to me, as in i do not understand the visual info at all. it feels like the equivalent of how action movie editing keeps hanging on to the “incoherency = intensity” vs just me tuning out until the scene is over & missing details b/c i just am not getting anything out of it

thats not much of a factor for me coz i dont really ever do things with extended sequences of movement / action or whatever. i’ll keep things in one place. i’ll like to do smaller, “quicker” panels moreso to like, show simultaneousish details / to extend one moment…..occasionally i do Big Panels for a moment of higher intensity / impact too. btw putting a High Intensity moment in a super tiny panel is always really funny for the contrast of it all. i dont think ive ever done it, but it is

ummm…….also planning where your speech bubbles will go is good. i dont do that enough, but i should. most of the reason i dont have a more proper, organized process to anything i draw is that i just dont have the focus / patience to slow down for More Planning vs just going ahead and drawing it. jokes on me, since some quick vague planning can make it a lot easier on yourself vs just diving in and struggling w something for ages

uhhh also since im not that fantastic or mindful of panel layout? sometimes i’ll make a point of just having uniform rectangle panels of the same size/shape, so i only have to really worry about the layout within the frame. this is mostly good obv for things with not that much shift in pacing throughout it or action or whatever…you lose the advantage of how panel sizes can affect the tone of a shot or something & probably cant get that detailed in ur drawings but that is often Fine By Me

when i do use the uniform rectangle structure though, i kinda have to focus more on each individual panel, vs like, knowing ok, these three moments are going on this page, i have a vague idea of what’ll connect them, just make up the individual panels as you go along. this does mean that i have to kinda think more about what justifies each panel….how its different from the ones before & after it or how i might want it to be similar to “hold” a shot for a beat or w/e or draw focus to a small movement, what’s actually going into each panel, if i can/should condense two panels into one, etc. its still a lot of playing it by ear, i dont have solid rules of how i think i should do it each time

even when i do have a like whole plan for something im drawing i’ll often make more changes as im actually making it. sometimes its deciding something would be more effective, sometimes it’s just “hey this would work too & be easier,” and thats definitely fine. nobody knows the change you made, and Easier isn’t necessarily Worse anyways. convenience is good where you can get it

ive also definitely had specific comic artists formatting/framing styles in mind when i specifically wanted to use that while drawing my own stuff. like the way i’ll draw maybe a kind of horror vibe (more diagonal lines / “fractured” panels than i’d normally use, quick tiny shots of different smaller details, that kinda stuff) is gonna be different from when its a calm & quiet tone. where i dont really get too creative with the panels really & keep them pretty steady

and then that one time i did a largely nonsequential sort of panel collage b/c the marge simpson anime gave me great inspiration for how to combine & present a bunch of vague notions i had floating around all into one page. it was a good accomplishment & thats unsurprising because the inspiration i was using was That Good. thank god we can all benefit from each others good ideas and knowledge & work & all that. it does help to jump on a feeling of “wow what a cool comic i wish i could make something like that.” just go ahead and make something like that…

ummm this is all on the technical side-ish still but i dont really know what to say abt the kind of stuff that makes me wanna draw a comic in the first place vs just putting the idea into a regular single drawing…usually it Is kind of a more nuanced moment that i think would be better presented within some amount of context and buildup and all that. i basically exclusively draw emotions….and sometimes theyre better shown with some amount of action/dialogue, or at least a few different shots or something. i dont know if this area is helpful information or anything anyone would benefit from knowing about, or even if i have anything to say about it…is it all self evident maybe? idk! i do think i communicate emotions best through comics…not that each one is “here is my mood!” or talking about me at all, but i was for example trying to communicate about an abstract emotion, i think i can draw about it better than talk or write about it or anything. i DO sometimes draw more directly from my own specific feelings/experiences for things, but mostly when i think it can be relevant…i cant really do anything all that directly autobiographical, even casual diary comics or whatever. thats what my text posts are for… but i have been interested in how to convert these huge emotional issues that i’ve been v familiar with into a few pages or panels and how to present its impact in the simplest, straightforward ways i can manage…sometimes i think its worked for sure…..i feel like i gave a more Relatable sense to a certain experience by putting it in comic form than any of the times ive discussed it as a personal thing at length via text. like i said i communicate best via comics probably, despite not drawing them all that much coz im too damn slow lmao

speaking of, i’ve kind of been like “what a waste” abt the fact that i dont have like, a proper approach or regular strategy to thinking up comics before i draw them, but i think theres something actually okay to be taken from that lol……just that i know if i got too caught up in trying to plan it all out perfectly before getting into actually drawing it, i’d be making it into a bigger project and slowing myself down even more & i’d risk dropping it partway through or just never getting started at all. so if i have a less than perfect end result, at least i have an end result, and ive finally got that one idea out of my head in some way. and i feel like some of my comics do work out decently enough….a good handful of times ive been surprised w how well some ppl receive them

so i think it is good to just go ahead and dive in. i did that once w an idea i’d been sitting on for like half a year, and i think it turned out good enough. i just knew i could easily spend months and months more turning over all the details, which might make it Better, but would also mean that yknow, i’d never actually get around to making it b/c of feeling like it had to be ideal. so i simplified it a bit, used a uniform panel layout, did little drawings, and just got it drawn out in an afternoon or two. and now at least it exists lol. and ive sort of come back to the same idea in a way…if i feel like it turns out i wanna elaborate on something more, i can just make another pic/comic built on the same theme, who’s gonna care or stop me

i also try to focus on what lines are/aren’t necessary to avoid things being confusing or just pointlessly cluttery….this isnt a big issue b/c i dont often bother w bgs. dont emulate that either lol…….but im not doing any Serious art so its no big deal to me if im not “good” or not progressing as spectacularly as i might. i dont need my drawing abilities to be that amazing here. but bgs still serve a purpose beyond being a “skill” or whatever so im trying to include them more, aka occasionally, at all. still hardly ever. but sometimes you at least need like one halfassed establishing shot yknow. anyways

mmm this has all been kinda vague and i’m trying to think if there’s anything more specific i could/should talk about!! i dont know. i dont have a good perspective on what its like to look at my art while not being me lol & what ppl might think or what stands out to them or whatever. rip

sorry this is so long, i dont really have ppl wanting to know abt my Processes or drawing thoughts or whatever so i’m kinda jumping at the chance to talk about this sort of stuff after having been actually prompted to. but i dont know if i’ve said anything at all!! i dont know if any of it has been helpful

“tldr; i dont really know what im doing, but go ahead and jump into actually making them as opposed to feeling like youre ready / you know the best way to make a page, because nobodys ever ready or can say This Is The Best Possible Version so just go ahead and use whatever process feels like it makes your life easier, while still actually making the damn comic” is my whole thing, i guess

i dunno, if there was some specific thing you wanted to know abt that i didnt talk about / talk about well here, feel free to ask me to specify because i totally will, which is both an invitation and a warning obviously

sorry this is so long everybody…….writing an essay & by the end of it not being sure if ive given any info at all is part of my whole Thing

[ohoshi]

yess the part where johnny bumped into taeyong was cool!! ty looks so cool while performing gosh 😌 i think ive watched that nct u class performance so many times by now, im still not over it for some reason hahaha

OMG I KNOW XIAOJUN BEING RELEVANT!! YES!! honestly im so glad that during nct 2020 a lot of the wayv members got to show their skills and how theyve improved (like xiaojun, hendery, yangyang) and i hope this keeps going (i feel like winwin esp couldve been showcased more? maybe it's hard with soo many members and i dont wanna be *that* fan...but he was the leader of the 90s love unit and had like 2 lines lol)

omg yes shotaro!! you never couldve known he debuted just 2 MONTHS AGO but i agree even in maw u can tell that the boy got moves! i feel so proud of him and hes so cute 😊 i agree, sign me up too for the idols who have such duality!! they were all so good (as expected)!!

WAIT LMAO SO SORRY i just fact checked myself and haikyuu actually has 4 seasons 😂 😅 there was like a 4 year gap between s3 and s4 so i think i felt like it was 2 seasons lmaoo. lately i have been more okay watching ongoing shows bc it gives me something to look forward to every week! but i usually do binge shows, which is why im a little sad that the uncanny counter is ongoing so i am forced to wait 😭 i must say though my binging skills are amazing...my one talent in life 🤣

her private life is another fake relationship kdrama (the main girl character is a fangirl and she runs a blog for her bias ahaha relatable??), and i think crash landing on you has some fake relationship things?? obviously it's not the main focus of the drama but crash landing is iconic u gotta watch, be prepared to cry tho if you get emotional watching these things like me 😭 because this is my first life was also good (i've heard some ppl get frustrated by the main guy character's lack of emotion though but i liked the writing and it's worth giving it a shot if you want!) i love the fake relationship and the enemies to lovers tropes, so if you come across any that are good pls let me know hehe

SVT yes that part in home where they choreographed like a house imagery with their hands was so cool!! the choreo is just so detailed (like i think there was a part that looked like they were opening a door bc it's "home"), i had heard svt is self produced and thats so amazing! theyre so talented and their performances are so good (the ones i've seen so far). i watched their mafia dance video for left and right and it was so FUNNY HAHAHAA they seem so chaotic i love it (also i love the mafia dances in general lol like nct dream did it for we go up). i'm going to try to learn svt's names (which i usually do by just watching crack videos about the group on youtube lmao) so stay tuned 👀 coming from nct, 13 members doesnt even seem like a lot to me anymore hahaha and i think im usually good with names so we'll see! i am also curious to see if i end up stanning dino :)) who are your svt biases??

haha yes i can understand xj/hn/lc without subtitles!! it's interesting because i think all 3 of them are from different places so their canto actually sounds a bit different from each other! but when i hear wayv speaking canto it feels so familiar bc i really only speak cantonese with my family, and it's such a weird but also good feeling and it makes me feel warm :) wayv is the unit that feels like ur close friends (whereas dreamies have best chemistry and i think i like 127’s music most? (but ofc i do actually like all the units songs hahah))

🥺yeah me too! i’m glad wayv members became more relevant thanks to nct 2020! honestly they are soooo good and they deserve all the attention! and winwin 💔 honestly i’m so happy he is in wayv now where he is being appreciated more! where he gets the lines and screentime! he deserves it 😤 of course you’re gonna be *that* fan! we’re all *that* fan 😤 the leader of the unit got 2 lines 😤 smh 😤

omg 4 year gap???? that’s a lot 😳 what for?? i guess the 4 year gap is the reason the show is still airing after all these years lmao when i saw gifs on my dash my reaction was wtf when did haikyuu become one piece what have i missed and then i googled and saw that the anime has 80+ episodes????? ABOUT VOLLEYBALL???? 😳 WILD

ohhh i see you have something to look forward to hmm that makes sense? maybe i should try it, especially since it’s most likely not as consuming as binge watching!! but yeah same, binge watching tv shows is one of my talents 😏

her private life is about a girl who runs a blog about her bias? there’s a whole kdrama about me? are you kidding me rn? never knew someone would be inspired by me or us for that matter? since we’re both just two little human beings running a blog about their biases<3 OMGGGG when am i gonna get the time to watch all of these drama 😭 hopefully really soon, but knowing how busy my college life can be (and esp rn) probs not 🤕 if i ever come across any drama that you haven’t watched already i will most likely recommend it to you!!!!

AHDGAGHFSDGH i love when idols play mafia game of any kind and i think that svt’s left and right is my favorite mafia dance ajfdshgadfshga they’re so chaotic and funny and omg vernon was so good tho?????? 😳 i was impressed bc i could never lie so well ahgdfags yeah it’s not that hard to remember all 13 of them especially because all of them are so different (i mean all of the members in all of the groups are always so different but ajdsgakja for whatever reason svt to me seemed the most uhhh versatile from the others?? like for example woozi is so smol it’s easy to remember him, and then seungkwan is the loud one, and then mingyu and jeonghan are pretty ones, joshua the charming one, sweet one, my biases are the best<3 etc but i mean THIS COULD BE JUST ME AJDGAJSH maybe i’m just too biased bc i love them so much sigh) anyways,,,,,, there’s a lot of ICONIC SVT CONTENT SO  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ welcome we have cookies, relax and enjoy yourself, the ride to being 500% whipped for svt begins right here, i recommend to you their pot and hammer game bc i love to watch when idols play it and svt? CHAOTIC AS ALWAYS! 

OK MY SVT BIASES 🥺 ok first of all here’s a digression: usually when i get into a kpop group i have like 3 different positions, 1) love at first sight - which is the person who i’m attracted to right from the second?? like the first person i see and i’m like oh //they// kinda like the way you’re attracted to dino’s dancing and stuff; 2) first bias - which is the person i just pick for whatever reason //ok they’re gonna be my bias//; 3) the actual bias - after watching a lot of content and listening to the music and getting to know the group in general i then choose //THE BIAS// or rather the bias chooses me bc it’s out of my control i just love them whoever they are! and with svt 🥺 all of the 3 were one guy (the only other time this happened to me is w nct dream lmao) 🥺 and i love him so much! one and only: xu minghao! (aka the8) 🥰 he’s one of the lead dancers and 1/2 china line in svt and he can sing! he can rap! and boy can he dance 😭 i just 🥺 love him 🥺 my other svt bias (whom, tbh, i don’t love nearly as much as i love minghao but i still love him very much<3) is wen junhui! (aka jun) 🥰 he is the other lead dancer and 2/2 china line in svt (this is random: but i really love china line in kpop??? like idek why? i mean of course i don’t care about their nationality or whatever but i’ve just noticed that for whatever reason the ones i tend to love and bias are more often than not chinese) and i know i know you asked ‘hey cora who are your svt biases??’ and everything i was supposed to say was ‘hey santa it’s the8 and jun!’ but no i had to be EXTRA bc guess what? well I AM EXTRA!!! bc i got excited i really love them 😭 (esp minghao<3 lately he’s been my ultimate bias so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

OMG I AM SO JEALOUS OF YOU RN? you can understand them without titles? lucky!!!!!! but the fact that it feels familiar and it makes you feel warm<3 is so precious<3 so cute!! so wayv feels like home? 🥺 bc you only speak cantonese with your family? this is so 🥺 i’m not crying you’re crying 🥺 teach me something in cantonese?? like?? actually, first tell me is it too different from mandarin??? and then teach me something? how do i say i love you? or hi and bye lmao and thank you? yk the basics! and i mean of course that we all love all units songs i mean!! we’re here for all the mess those 23 boys give us but!! i think i’d be biased and pick nct dream’s music<3 but i love wayv and 127 so much as well 😭