#v;; Crack

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x09 - “The Dirt Under Your Nails.”

[luvergirl-535]

i don’t see what anyone could see in anyone else (but you)

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count - 6.0k

c/w - fluff, they’re both annoying and sassy, p has adhd highkey (twin)

a/n - inspired by the let’s be honest p annoying a video. i just love the girlfriends but best friends first dynamic iykwim 😣. also took a lot of inspo from some tiktok lives 🩷 anyway yeah this is stupid and late for v day but better than nothing!!

It has been a good week.

On Sunday, Azzi made it a point to spend the day getting ahead on schoolwork as much as she could. Coach had been hinting at a grueling upcoming practice week and Azzi knows herself well enough to know she’d end up putting school on the back burner anyway. And that’s exactly what happened, because come Monday, every time she left a class with homework it would end up in her desk, left there to rot until basketball wasn’t her main priority anymore.

Coach hadn’t been lying—he never is about those things. Practice was torture, often running hours into the night as the girls were made to play again and again until they were good enough in Geno’s eyes. But Azzi had been one of the few on the team who loved it, feeling just as renewed as she was drained after each practice. The more exhausted she got, the longer practice went on, the better she performed. It was unusual for her and it struck up a certain confidence, creating a subtle pep in her step everywhere she went.

The only downside to the week was the lack of Paige Time. It’s been like that for quite some time now—really, ever since basketball season started. After the long summer spent basically attached at the hip, the school year was a rude awakening for them and November was even ruder. They were juggling basketball, school, marketing, and their own personal endeavors—especially Paige’s as she prepares to declare. On top of all that, finding time to love on each other has been difficult, if not impossible. Besides for a few kisses in passing and minor flirting in practice, they really only see each other at bedtime and briefly in the mornings.

Which is why, when Azzi wakes up in her girlfriend’s room, she can’t help but smile a little to herself before she’s even really awake. Because it’s Saturday, and the sun is shining through the curtains, and most importantly, they have nowhere to be today.

She can feel Paige’s presence behind her, and can hear the TikToks playing on her phone, signaling she’s already awake. Actually, TikTok might’ve been what woke Azzi in the first place. Now that she’s really waking up, she realizes that Paige has her phone speakers turned up way too high, and a pang of sleepy irritability goes through her. “Babe,” she mumbles into her pillow, “turn that down.”

Thankfully, the tinny noises stop, but they’re quickly replaced by the familiar teasing tone in her girlfriend’s voice. “Look who’s finally awake.”

“What time is it?” Azzi yawns, eyes still closed.

“9:30,” Paige replies.

At that, Azzi snuggles further into the blankets, the scent of Paige enveloping her. “Not even that early,” she says. “Might go back to sleep.”

“Can I wake you up at ten?” Paige asks. “I’m bored.”

“Yes,” Azzi concedes, used to Paige’s neediness, “you can wake me up at ten.”

“Aight,” Paige says, sounding pleased with herself.

Azzi shifts, feeling a little lonely what with Paige all the way on her side of the bed. They’ve had a whole conversation at this point, yet she’s still yet to receive a good morning kiss. It’s off-putting, to be honest. She expects Paige, ever the affectionate one in their relationship, to sidle up beside her now that she’s semi-awake.

Instead, to her shock, the TikTok sounds start back up again. And they’re just as loud as before.

“Paige,” Azzi exclaims, finally cracking her eyes open, turning over her shoulder to find Paige propped up against the headboard, staring calmly at her.

“Hm?” she asks.

Azzi sighs. She hates having to ask for the things she wants. Usually, Paige just magically knows and provides it for her. She must be too busy on stupid TikTok to remember she has a girlfriend who needs attending to.

In lieu of asking straight-up, Azzi reaches back, grasping for Paige’s thigh and looking up at her with big brown eyes.

Immediately, Paige tosses her phone to the side, chuckling. “Mm. Sorry, princess.” Sliding down under the covers, she situates herself closer until she’s hovering above her, close enough to drop a chaste kiss on her lips. “You wanna cuddle?”

“Obviously,” Azzi mutters, reaching up for one more kiss before turning back over, sighing when Paige snuggles up behind her.

“You gotta little attitude this morning,” Paige helpfully observes, nuzzling into the crook of Azzi’s neck.

Azzi closes her eyes, trying to let sleep call to her as it was just a minute ago. “Just miss you,” she says, a little vulnerable in the way she says it—and maybe that’s also due to the minimal clothes they’re wearing, the skin-on-skin contact always making her feel safe and comforted and exposed all at once.

Paige tuts sympathetically, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder. “I know, baby.” There’s a beat of silence as they shift, Paige’s hand running over her stomach, trailing up to one of her breasts. “Missed you, too.”

As much as the touch turns Azzi on, it’s less the sexuality of it and more the sheer domesticity; the way they know each other’s bodies well enough to be comfortable with wandering hands that aren’t meant to lead anywhere. She breathes deep as Paige holds her gently, then clasps a hand over her’s, keeping her in place.

It’s only another minute before she’s drifting off again, Paige’s even breaths in her ear lulling her to sleep.

It’s peaceful—maybe the most relaxed she’s been all week. But as she lays there, trying to get a few more minutes of sleep, Paige’s breathing changes just a split second before she’s speaking too loudly in Azzi’s ear, “I’m hungry.”

Azzi startles a little at the sudden interruption. Her eyes fly open, though only to shoot a glare at her girlfriend. “Paige!”

“What? I am.” Paige frowns, pulling away to sit up and rub her stomach forlornly. “You took too long to wake up.”

Azzi sighs, rolling over onto her back. “I thought you were gonna let me sleep until ten.”

Paige shrugs at that, making big puppy eyes at her, and Azzi resigns to the fact that she will not be getting any more sleep this morning.

“Fine,” she grumbles, sitting up with some effort. “But I’m gonna shower first.”

She stands up, Paige’s eyes tracking her from where she sits on the bed. She whistles lowly as Azzi makes her way to the closet, likely due to the fact that she’s only wearing a pair of sheer panties. Azzi rolls her eyes, pulling on a pair of clothes for the walk down the hall.

Paige, of course, trails her to the bathroom, situating herself on the floor while Azzi starts the water. She watches intently as Azzi undresses, and Azzi catches her pout just as she’s stepping inside.

“What?” Azzi asks when she sees her expression.

“Can I come in with you?” Paige asks.

The offer is tempting, but Azzi is still sore from last night and in all honestly, she’s not in the mood after Paige rudely woke her this morning. “No. I’m only gonna be like five minutes.”

“I can help you.”

“I think I got it,” Azzi laughs, pouring soap onto her washcloth—something she is perfectly capable of doing by herself.

Paige stands up, walking over to Azzi’s phone on the counter. “Okay, then lemme play your music.”

Azzi doesn’t really have time to protest before Bossman Dlow is blasting far too loud over the speakers, and Paige picks up a hairbrush, admiring herself in the mirror as she sings. Azzi rolls her eyes, refocusing her efforts on cleaning up.

Paige looks over and catches the unamused look on her face. “Oh, sorry,” she says sincerely, picking up another hairbrush and holding it out. “You wanted a mic too?”

Azzi sighs. She gets the feeling she’ll be doing a lot of that today.

————————————

It’s not until awhile later that they finally get to the kitchen—mostly due to the fact that Paige kept showing her videos and making commentary while she tried to do her hair, causing the whole endeavor to take a lot longer than it should’ve. Ironically, Paige is the one whining about this by the time they’re finally ready.

“Bro, now I’m really hungry,” she says, continuing to rub her belly a bit like a pregnant lady—which makes Azzi giggle—as she heads to the fridge.

“What should we have, mama?” she asks. Then, as Azzi’s thinking about it, she says, “You’re right, pancakes sound good.”

Azzi hefts herself onto the counter. “Never said that.”

“You took too long to answer,” Paige replies simply. She roots through the fridge for another minute before sighing, turning around to face her. “Do we need milk to make pancakes?”

“Do you have pancake mix?”

“Um…” Paige walks to the pantry at this, taking another minute to search that before once again sighing dramatically. “No.”

“Then, yes. We need milk.”

“Why, though?” Paige asks, frowning. “Shouldn’t water work the same?”

Azzi scrunches her nose up at the thought of water pancakes. “Ew. No.”

Paige shakes her head at her. “Okay, Miss Picky.”

“I know you’re not talking.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Azzi hops off the counter, patting Paige’s chest as she walks past her to the entryway, searching for Paige’s keys. “C’mon, we can go grab some real quick.”

Azzi finds the keys and holds them out expectantly, unsurprised when Paige takes them without hesitation. “I guess. But no fucking around.”

They leave the apartment, and Azzi raises a brow as she watches Paige lock up. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean,” Paige says, taking her hand and beginning to walk, “we get in, get the milk, and go.”

Azzi swings their hands mindlessly between them. “If I’m remembering right, you’re the one who’s currently unmedicated.”

“Yeah, and I’m chill,” Paige says, pressing the button for the elevator. “My doctors just want my money or sum’, I’m fine without that dumb shit.”

“Paige, you woke me up five times last night because you had things to tell me and didn’t wanna forget.”

“Valid reason to wake you up.” Paige shoves Azzi inside the elevator, and once she follows, Azzi pushes her right back.

“I’m just saying. You’re easily distracted.”

“Nah.”

“We were making out for like an hour yesterday and you interrupted it to tell me a story.”

“It was a funny story,” Paige explains, taking her hand once again when the elevator doors open and dragging her out.

“Debatable,” Azzi quips, even though it was kinda a good story.

“And it’s not like we didn’t continue kissing after that. I just gave us a lil intermission.”

“You never needed intermissions while you were on your meds.”

They’re in the parking lot now, and Paige unlocks her car, nudging Azzi towards it. “Just get in the car.”

“Bossy,” Azzi mumbles.

Believe it or not, the two of them do have days where they don’t fight, argue, or even sass each other. Those days, however, come far and few between—making fun of each other is their love language and thus little spats happen more often than not. And with today being the first day in awhile that they’ve spent together—not to mention Paige’s apparent decision to be more irritating than usual—it’s no surprise that they spend the car ride fighting over music.

By the time they get to the grocery store, Paige is hyperfocused on making sure Azzi stays on track. When Azzi falls behind to smell a candle, she sighs and tugs her away by the wrist: “Bro, why are we going at grandma pace.”

Ironically, Paige, like the hypocrite she is, also finds an abandoned cart in the refrigerated section. Azzi is grabbing milk when Paige bumps her with the cart, getting her attention. When Azzi looks at her, Paige simply says, “Babe, watch,” and proceeds to hop on the cart and ride it down the aisle with the vigor of a small child.

Once the milk is secured, Azzi decides she deserves some remuneration for the taxing work of going out in public with her girlfriend. Stopping Paige on their way to checkout, Azzi looks up at her with big, brown eyes and says, “Can we stop in the books? Just really quick.”

Paige avoids her gaze. “Nah, I wanna leave.”

“Aw,” Azzi coos, running a hand down Paige’s arm somewhat seductively, “please, Paigey? I need new books.”

Still, Paige refuses to make eye contact as she says, “Aren’t you working on, like, two right now?”

Azzi doesn’t usually get this much pushback from her. She wonders exactly why Paige woke up and decided to annoy her today. Still, she knows Paige can’t say no to her. Placing her hand on Paige’s cheek, she turns her face, forcing her to look at her: the slight pout of her lips, the way her eyes widen enough to be convincing. “C’mon, baby,” she says. “I promise I’ll be fast.”

That’s the breaking point. With a sigh, Paige nods, allowing herself to be excitedly led to the book section.

Azzi decides that she’s no longer annoyed with Paige as she searches through the books, reading over the synopses of every one that looks interesting. She’s desperate for something new, even though Paige is right—she already has plenty.

Paige stays miraculously quiet for a solid five minutes, allowing Azzi to take her time and even browsing through a few books of her own.

Those five minutes, however, are as long as she gets before she happens to pick up a romance novel. Paige glances at her in that moment and she barely has time to hide the cover before Paige is gagging, most likely at the straight couple pictured embracing on the front of it. “That’s so gross.”

Azzi puts the book back on the shelf. “It’s no different than when we kiss.”

“Lowkey super offensive thing to say,” Paige replies. Azzi rolls her eyes, watching as Paige reaches down to grab a large book with colorful dragons on the cover. “This looks way cooler.”

Azzi takes a few steps closer to read the bold lettering on the cover, and then snorts. “Paige, that is a coloring book.”

By the time they get back home, Azzi has officially rescinded her earlier decision—she is definitely still annoyed with Paige.

—————————————

When they return to the dorms, despite Azzi’s oddly low patience for Paige’s annoying nature today, she still wants nothing more than to cozy up in bed with her and read her new book. They make the pancakes first, Paige doing nothing to help her case by arguing about how exactly to make pancakes. Once the two of them—plus half the team, who heard from Jana in the group chat that there would be pancakes—are fed, Azzi is ready to retreat back into Paige’s room.

However, most of the team is still there, and Paige’s oblivious ass is refusing to take Azzi’s hints, too busy chatting with their friends.

She’s tried everything: muttering to Paige that she’s tired (“I see a lil’ napski in our future,” is what Paige responds with), sitting herself on Paige’s lap in an unusual display of affection (“We run out of chairs or sum’?” Paige asks), and even aggressively cleaning everybody’s dishes (“I can do that, mama, you go hang,” Paige says, taking over).

At this point, it’s all she can do not to just yell at her girlfriend. She sits on the couch, listening a little sleepily as KK tells her some crazy story. The team is far too raucous for noon on a Saturday, probably in part to the ridiculous amounts of whipped cream and syrup they all used on their pancakes. In the kitchen, Aubrey and Paige start wrestling, and KK stops yapping to go join them. She jumps on Paige’s back, knocking her over and losing her balance in the process until they’re a heap on the floor. Aubrey steps on their backs, flexing, and the girls cheer rowdily.

Azzi is overstimulated.

Refraining from covering her ears, Azzi stands, giving up on the Paige aspect of her afternoon plans. She’s not sure she even wants Paige—who is hysterically laughing as she gets up from the floor—to be with her anymore. It’d be like forcing a hyper dog to cuddle. She’d probably end up getting bitten.

She’s hoping nobody will notice her slipping away, but Kayla does, tugging on a curl as she heads to the hallway. “Where ya going, babe?”

“Paige’s room,” Azzi says simply.

“She’s gonna notice you’re gone.”

Azzi glances at the scene behind them. Someone’s turned on ‘Kung Fu Fighting’ and Ice has now joined the kitchen boxing match. Paige just barely ducks a fist to the face before barreling into Ice’s stomach, once again ending up on the floor, giggling deliriously. The other girls have mostly lost interest at this point, which is fair—this isn’t exactly an uncommon occurrence.

Azzi turns back to Kayla. “I doubt it.”

“Give her five minutes,” Kayla insists.

“She’s too busy being a little boy.” Azzi rolls her eyes, patting Kayla affectionately as she walks past.

In Paige’s room, she breathes a sigh of relief, the closed door offering some solace from the noise outside. Even better, Paige’s airpods sit on her bedside table; Azzi takes them and connects them to her phone, turning on the noise-cancelling setting. Pleased with the results, she settles into her side of the bed, picking up her book and beginning to read.

She gets maybe two pages in before a tap on the shoulder scares the shit out of her.

Jumping, she whirls around, to find Paige standing beside the bed with a sheepish smile on her face.

Azzi takes out an airpod. “Paige, what?”

Her tone comes out more exasperated than she means to and feels a little guilty about the confused look she gets in return. “I noticed you left. Kay told me you were in here.”

“Yeah, just reading.”

“I see,” Paige replies. She hovers awkwardly, then says, “why didn’t you bring me with you?”

Despite her irritability, affection blossoms in Azzi’s chest at her girlfriend’s clinginess, her need to be around her 24/7 if they’re together. And Azzi reminds herself that this is the first day they’ve really had with each other in a while, and Paige is missing her too. Gently, she says, “I tried, but it seemed like you were having too much fun.”

“I mean, I was having fun,” Paige says. “But I’d rather hang out with you than fuck around with those dumbasses.”

“You’re as much of a dumbass as they are,” Azzi quips. “Actually, they probably learned it from you.”

“Like father, like sons,” Paige nods solemnly. Then, unceremoniously, she throws herself on top of Azzi, nearly knocking the wind out of her and crushing her book between them.

“Ow, Paige!” she says, freeing her hands and book as Paige wriggles like a happy little worm on top of her.

“I missed you,” Paige mumbles into her neck.

“We’ve been together all day.”

“You left me alone out there.”

“I’ve been in here for like five minutes.”

Paige lifts her head to pout at her. “Five minutes too long.”

Unable to help herself, she leans forward, kissing the pout off Paige’s lips. When she pulls back, Paige chases after her, trying to deepen the kiss, but Azzi pushes at her chest. “I still wanna read my book.”

“Okay,” Paige says.

“I wanna snuggle with you,” Azzi continues. “But only if you let me read.“

“Okay,” she repeats. She’s staring at Azzi’s lips, though, which doesn’t spark a lot of confidence that she’s actually listening.

“Which means,” Azzi emphasizes, getting Paige’s eyes to snap back up to her’s, “no talking, no showing me TikToks. And no distracting me with sex.”

Paige pouts again at that, batting her eyelashes stupidly. “What, you mean I can’t eat you out while you’re reading?” Azzi flicks her forehead, and she snickers, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. “Joking. I’ll be good, don’t worry.”

Azzi actually believes her, crazy enough. It’s mostly due to the fact that she and Paige have been together for nearly seven years, so she has her pretty house-trained at this point.

Satisfied, she flashes a smile, picking her book back up. Paige scoots down the length of her body until she’s settled between Azzi’s legs, head resting comfortably on the soft expanse of her tummy. Once they’re situated, Azzi frees up a hand to scratch Paige’s scalp, which’ll keep her happy for a while.

They sit like that for around thirty minutes. The noise of their teammates has died down enough to know that some of them have left, though it’s obvious by the extra chatter that a handful is still hanging around. Paige actually falls asleep within the first ten minutes, which Azzi guesses is probably why she gets so much quiet time.

It still doesn’t feel like enough, though, when a knock sounds at the door. “Y’all decent?”

Azzi glances down at Paige—still fast asleep—and quietly calls out, “We’re good.”

The door swings open and Jana steps inside, followed closely by Ayanna. “We’re going to Chick-Fil-A,” Yanna says, “you wanna come?”

“No, that’s okay.” Azzi pats Paige’s head in a silent explanation. “I’m nap-trapped.”

“Aww, parents.” Jana pulls her phone out, taking a hilariously unflattering close-up of Paige practically drooling on Azzi’s stomach. Azzi giggles as Jana shows her the picture, and she’s distracted enough that there’s nothing she can do when Yanna approaches and jostles Paige awake.

“No, wait—!” Azzi exclaims, reaching out to try and stop her, but it’s too late: the damage is already done. Paige cracks her eyes open with a little groan.

Ayanna scratches the back of her neck sheepishly. Azzi glares at her, then strokes Paige’s hair, trying to coax her back to sleep. “It’s ok, P.”

“Mm,” Paige hums, lifting her head to blink sleepily at them. “Why’d you wake me up?”

“My bad,” Yanna says guiltily. “We just thought you might wanna get Chick-Fil-A with us.”

“Nah, I’m good.” Paige nuzzles back into Azzi’s tummy, surprisingly chill considering she hates being woken from her naps. “Thanks though.”

“Uh-huh,” Jana replies, already heading out the room while she smiles at her phone—Azzi assumes she’s uploading that picture to her close friends.

“Sorry,” Yanna says once again, more to Azzi than anything, before following.

Paige yawns, her warm breath fanning over Azzi’s stomach. As she cuddles back in, Azzi thinks maybe she’ll go back to sleep. She holds onto that hope and resumes her book, threading her fingers through Paige’s hair gently.

This time, it doesn’t work. Which is evident based on the way she lifts herself up on her elbows, giving herself just enough room to press a few kisses around Azzi’s stomach. At first, Azzi tries to ignore it, hoping maybe it’s a casual gesture.

But it’s not long before the kisses slow down as she takes more time on each one, mouth opening so that it leaves the skin of her tummy just a little wet. Of course, it’s out of Azzi’s control the way her thighs tense up, blood rushing straight to her core as her body reacts to her girlfriend’s touch.

Paige curls her fingers around the hem of her top, lips following her hands as they bunch the fabric up to give herself more space, stopping underneath her breasts. She looks up at Azzi, whose gaze is now focused intently on the top of her girlfriend’s head, and flashes a devious little smile before licking a stripe between her ribcage.

Azzi tosses the book to the side, not even bothering to mark her page, freeing her hands so she can use them to pull her girlfriend up by the shoulders, meeting her in the middle for a kiss that’s nowhere near chaste.

Paige is still lying heavily atop her, their chests pressed close together, but it’s still second nature the way Azzi wraps her arms around Paige’s waist in an attempt to get her closer. Paige grins against her mouth at the feeling, their hips coming flush together which makes Azzi gasp despite herself.

“Mm,” Paige hums, beginning a slow, wet trail of kisses down her jawline. “Missed you, baby.”

Azzi can’t help but laugh at that. “We just had sex last night.”

“‘S been way too long since then,” Paige mutters into the crook of her neck. Her teeth graze gently over the sensitive skin and Azzi grips her tighter, thinking she might actually agree with Paige for the first time today.

Paige is obviously building her up, apparently horny after her power nap, and Azzi doesn’t plan on stopping her. This is usually how it goes, anyway, Paige being the initiator nine out of ten times. As Paige pushes her top up above her tits, she knows she has no problem with that.

Her hands are a little cold against Azzi’s warm flesh, nipples pebbled from the temperature change mixed with her arousal. Paige just begins to tweak one of them, making Azzi moan softly—her nipples have always been sensitive—when there’s a sharp knock on the door.

The two of them groan, Paige’s forehead falling against her shoulder.

“Y’all decent?” It is, once again, Jana.

Paige lifts her head, pausing to glance down at her hands where they palm Azzi’s bare tits, and keeping her gaze there as she says, “Not really.”

“Already?” Jana calls, sounding somewhere between amused and disgusted. “You’ve been alone for like five minutes!”

“What do you want, Jana?” Azzi asks before Paige can let out the cocky response she definitely wants to say. Her voice is a little breathy, thanks to Paige absentmindedly rolling a nipple between her thumb and forefinger, and she hopes Jana doesn’t notice.

“We’re not going out anymore. Too much work. I was gonna ask if you wanna watch a movie with us, but…”

“No,” Paige and Azzi yell at the same time.

“Okay, damn,” Jana sighs. “Just being polite. Don’t get pregnant in there.”

Her footsteps trail off, and they make eye contact and laugh, Paige leaning forward to press an amused kiss to her lips. “We have trifling teammates.”

“Don’t talk about our kids like that,” Azzi says.

“They’re some bad ass kids.” Paige gives her another kiss. This time, it’s Azzi who gives chase when she pulls away, but Paige sighs, and to Azzi’s disappointment, pulls her shirt back down.

Azzi pouts, arms traveling up to loop around the back of her neck. “Why’d you stop?”

“They’re still here,” Paige replies. “I’on want them to hear us.”

“They won’t,” Azzi insists. “I’ll be quiet.”

“No, you won’t,” Paige snorts. She kisses Azzi tenderly on the cheek. “Sorry, mama.”

As Paige scoots back down to her original spot, Azzi crosses her arms, feeling a little like a defiant child as she says, “You shouldn’t start something you can’t finish.”

“I know, baby.” Paige nuzzles against Azzi’s navel, doing nothing to help the heat between her legs. “When Jana and Allie are asleep tonight, I’ll get you right, I promise.”

Azzi huffs.

Paige chuckles softly at her, only making her more annoyed. “Thought you wanted to read your book, hm?”

“That was before you touched my tits,” Azzi replies.

Paige lays her head down. “Poor Azzi-Wazzi,” she tuts with faux sympathy.

“You’re a dick,” Azzi mumbles, picking up her book more out of spite than anything, sure she won’t be able to focus on it. She tries valiantly, though.

Her efforts are interrupted at the feeling of fingers dancing across her stomach.

Peering over her book, Azzi sees Paige walking her pointer and middle finger across the length of her tummy, an amused smile on her face as she watches herself. “‘I’m Azzi Fudd’,” she says, voice quiet and high-pitched, “‘and I have a big ol’ head’.”

Taking a deep, shaky breath to calm herself, Azzi returns to her book, pointedly ignoring her.

“‘Babe, do these pants make me look big?’” Paige continues, jumping her hand-Azzi around dramatically as she badly impersonates her.

“No, you look good,” she replies in her normal voice.

“‘You’re supposed to say that,’” Hand-Azzi whines. “‘Tell me for real’.”

“I’m not lying, I love those pants.”

“‘Babe, stop lying to me!’”

Paige sighs dramatically, as if she were actually arguing with somebody else. “I’m not.”

“‘Yes you are. And you’re probably cheating too.’”

“Baby, you know I’d never—“

Slamming her book down, Azzi grabs Paige’s hand, stilling her excessive finger movements. “Paige!”

Paige laughs, probably at herself, sitting up and stretching out. “What?”

“You are stupid,” Azzi replies a little vehemently. With Paige no longer on top of her, she gathers her things and gets out of bed, officially done.

“Where you goin’, mami?” Paige asks, getting up to follow.

Azzi holds a hand up. “I’m going to sit on the couch, so I can read.”

“You’ve been reading for so long,” Paige groans.

Azzi rolls her eyes, turning away and leaving the room.

Paige trails behind her. “They’re watching a movie in there.”

“Okay, then I’ll watch with them.”

“Cool. Wanna sit with me?”

“No,” Azzi says.

Paige grabs her by the waist, holding her against her front, leaning around to kiss her cheek. “C’mon, baby, you know I was just playin’.”

“Okay, and I don’t wanna be played with.” Azzi pulls out of her grasp, shooting a glare over her shoulder.

Paige raises an eyebrow. “Aight, sassy.”

Azzi doesn’t dignify that with a response. She just heads to the living room, flopping down beside Ice to join the movie. She’s relieved (and maybe a little disappointed) when Paige doesn’t follow her.

—————————————

Paige has left her alone for a good amount of time, maybe an hour. Azzi has KK to thank for that: the two of them have been fucking around, playing Fort, and making TiKToks while Azzi enjoys her peace and quiet. She stays in Paige’s apartment, knowing she’s still going to bed with her tonight. Just as long as Paige continues to keep her distance for awhile.

She’s lying on the couch, book held above her, glasses perched over her nose as she reads. The movie ended a while ago, and Morgan and Sarah still linger around, hanging with Jana, and Allie’s in her room. She sort of hopes they don’t hang around too long. As much as she loves her kids, they’re a lot.

Still, it’s manageable. That is, until Paige and KK come barreling into the room, laughing their asses off. Azzi squeezes her eyes shut, hoping they’re going to pass her, but to her dismay, they stop right in front of the couch.

“Babe,” Paige says.

“Yes,” Azzi monotones.

“We need your opinion.” KK cackles as Paige promptly turns around before starting to twerk—or at least, something that looks like it could be twerking—right in front of Azzi’s poor face. “It’s moving, right? There’s motion?”

On any other day, Azzi might sugarcoat it to be nice, but today she just says, “There is absolutely not motion.”

KK clutches her stomach, laughing so hard she almost wheezes.

Paige whips around, hands on her chest. If there were pearls there, she’d be clutching them. “Babe!”

“I told you!” KK yells, pushing Paige out of the way. Azzi groans as she, too, turns around and begins shaking ass. It is admittedly better than Paige’s attempt. “What about me?”

“Mm, it’s a little better.”

“You gotta teach us,” KK says, tugging at Azzi’s hand.

“Ooh, yeah, teach us,” Paige agrees, wiggling her eyebrows. “I’m a visual learner, by the way.”

Azzi scoffs. As if. She pulls herself free from KK’s grasp, then stands. “Absolutely not.”

“Why?” they both frown.

“Because I’m trying to relax and y’all are being weird,” she quips.

“Why don’t you come hang with us?” Paige offers, a little more gently, obviously realizing Azzi is actually a little annoyed.

“No, thanks,” Azzi says. “I’m already overstimulated enough just from listening to you guys.”

Paige furrows her eyebrows. “Where you going, then?”

Azzi sighs, glancing at the door, then to her girlfriend, then back again. “I think I’m gonna head to my room, Paige.”

KK gasps. “Oh, mom and dad fighting?”

“We are not,” Paige insists. Then she turns to Azzi with an exaggerated sad face. “Are we?”

“No,” Azzi says, which is true. They’re not fighting; she just needs a break. “I’ll be back later, okay?”

“Why’re you leaving?” Paige asks, stepping toward her.

“I just…I’m a little grumpy today. Not as patient as usual. I need a few minutes.”

Paige frowns, but KK, never one to read a social situation, laughs. “She really said she has a low Paige threshold,” she giggles, pushing Paige’s shoulder.

“We barely saw each other this week,” Paige says, ignoring KK as she reaches out to hold Azzi’s hands. “We’ve already been apart today.”

“I know, honey,” Azzi says. She decides against pointing out that all in all, they’ve only been apart for around an hour total this entire day. “I promise I’ll be back.”

“Like, soon, right?” Paige says, giving her big puppy eyes that she’s never been able to resist.

“Yes, soon,” she promises. She leans forward for a kiss, KK averting her gaze with an eye roll. “Play Fort with KK or something. You’ll be okay.”

“I won’t,” Paige insists, sounding genuinely worried.

“You will. We have tomorrow, too, remember?” With one last kiss, Azzi releases her hands, grabbing her things to go downstairs. She just barely catches KK making fun of Paige for being a simp before she gets out the door.

————————————

“Open the doooor.”

“Az, c’mon, bro, lemme in!”

“Bitch, you’ve had plenty alone time, pleaseeee.”

Azzi stands by the door, laughing silently at her girlfriend’s pleading—which has been going on, unanswered on her part, for about five minutes now—until her face drops at the last sentence. “What did you just call me?”

There’s a distinctly panicked silence before Paige starts backtracking. “I mean, my beautiful wife who I love and respect. For real, let me in. We can be alone together!”

“Very poetic,” Azzi remarks.

Paige groans, and there’s a thunk that sounds a lot like a forehead hitting a door. “Dawg.”

Once again, Azzi goes quiet, and she can tell the exact moment Paige realizes this because there’s another thunk.

“Azzi, please, babe.”

Still, she doesn’t respond, and that’s when the singing starts.

“Pleaseeee, open the dooorrr,” she sings quite horribly. Azzi quiets her giggle behind a hand.

“Pleaseeee,” she continues, completely off-key. Sza level, my ass.

“No, Paige.”

“Baby, please! It’s almost dinner time.”

“For who? It’s barely four.”

There’s another beat of silence. Then, “Azzi, I’m gonna cry. Please.”

Obviously, Paige is bullshitting her. She’s not going to cry. But still, Azzi’s never been able to be stern with Paige. (And Paige calling her her wife earlier certainly helped matters.)

As soon as she cracks the door open, Paige is trying to barge through, but Azzi stops her with a foot in the door. “Hold on.”

Paige, obediently, stops.

“I’m still a little grumpy,” Azzi admits.

Paige nods. “Okay.”

“So…be gentle, okay? I don’t like being mad at you.”

“I don’t like you being at me,” Paige agrees.

“We’re in agreement, then.”

“A hundred percent.” Paige pushes at the door. “Now, can I come in, please?”

Azzi opens the door all the way, allowing herself to be tackled onto the bed in a very non-gentle way, but still, she laughs. Even when she needs space from Paige, even when she chooses it—she still just ends up missing her the whole time.

“Hey,” Paige says once she’s effectively pinned her to the bed. “Noticed your dorm’s empty.”

Azzi raises an eyebrow. “Uh-huh.”

“I can finish what I started earlier,” Paige offers, suggestive smile on her face before she says, “unless you don’t want that, obviously.”

Azzi’s pulling her down before she can finish her sentence.

(“We’re getting a sweet treat later,” she says a little while later.

“Okay, princess,” Paige says, situating herself between her legs. “Whatever you want.” And then, she drops a kiss on the inside of her thigh before spreading her open, dipping her head down, and going beautifully quiet for the first time all day. They stay in bed for quite some time.)

When Azzi starts her period the next day, she proudly says to herself, “I knew I wasn’t going crazy.”

[superbat-love]

If the Justice League were ‘The Office’...

Superman: I want to trust Batman, I really do, but sometimes I can't help but question him, you know? Yesterday, I came home from the Daily Planet and ran into Batman outside my apartment. When I asked him what he was doing there, he claimed he was on a case looking for "evidence," then ran off. Not that I’m accusing him of anything, but… one of my undergarments has gone missing.

The camera pans out, revealing his costume conspicuously missing its iconic red underwear.

***

Batman: [holding up Superman’s red underwear sealed in a plastic evidence bag] That’s how I uncovered his big secret. How do I know for certain it’s Superman’s? Well, for one, no one else on the planet has them in this size. [glares directly at the camera] And two, you really should have kept spares if you didn’t want me to figure out who you were, Clark Kent.

[aggressiveviking]

...what am I supposed to do?

[fuckmystupidfemcellife]

“ur a bad person bc u worship serial killers n mass shooters!!!” why wld i worship virgins 🥀

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

Happ pride

Taglist:

@galacticstationsblog @tixdixl @theleechyskrunkly @thehollowwriter @nemisisnemi @starry-night-rose @distant-velleity @my-cursed-brain @fluffle-writes @sunsmilu @elenauaurs

[landoposition]

just had the most eye opening realization that if nando is gabriel's father. that means lance is gabi's stepdad.

and that goes on to like. nando's dating a younger guy; gabi dates an older guy. everyone that sees them out on the street thinks that it's the opposite until they pay attention.

in this essay i will-

[verocities]

smiles

[elvenbeard]

Kerry Eurodyne and Us Cracks as Oli Sykes and BABYMETAL, ca. "Kingslayer" - based on this post by @koda-shoulda-woulda-but-didnt because yes, it's perfect xD

Inspo pic:

Since I first met them in game, Us Cracks have in my head always been a pop version of Babymetal, and the fact they often do collabs with "more serious" metal bands fits so perfectly with their and Kerry's storyline xD So happy I'm not the only one who sees this :D

Below the cut some additional versions and thoughts xD

Clean version:

Black and White version like the original:

And bonus doodle with my V having a little deja vu moment of taking their photo together again XD

(and yes, while I do think Kerry gets along with the girls just fine if you smooth things out between them during "I don't wanna hear it", Kerry's ego is still huge and I think he'd still be meh about being seen in their merch, especially in the beginning XD)

And yes, I wanted to put the girls in a variety of Kerry merch from various past (and planned) tours and such :D really hope I'll get around to making some of them in game eventually xD

[valar-did-me-wrong]

"ROP!Celebrimbor isn't buff enough for a smith"

EXCUSE ME?!?!!!?!

Look at lanky ass Halbrand's chest in comparison to Brimby!!

The Buff Smith was always there but people were too busy looking at his face to notice the Celebrimboobs ❤️‍🔥

[amethyst-halo]

redrew an old mcelroys quote thing i did aaaages ago when i first got into trolls aksjhdkjhd it was due for a redraw lol

nothin like the middle children picking on each other in an interview :]

[whyse7vn]

WHAT ARE WE? -

[ot7 x reader]

YOONGI -

y/n: hi

yoongi: i bet you are

y/n: what are we?

yoongi: go away

y/n: WOAH?????????????????????????????

I BET YOU ARE IS INSANE??????????????

yoongi: are you?

y/n: NO????????

yoongi: ur no is a question

do you not remember getting high

that probably means you are

high that is

y/n: I’M NOT

yoongi: if you say so

y/n: stop pushing ur druggy agenda onto me

it’s not right OR real

yoongi: deny the truth all you want

y/n: ur not funny you know that?

yoongi: i’m laughing so i think ur wrong

y/n: you are?😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

proof? 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

video proof btw 😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋

yoongi: be normal challenge failed yet again btw

y/n: omg yoongi’s that was funny

ur like levelling up ur communication skills

yoongi: you say that like i’m a sim from ur stupid game

and i’ve always been funny this is not a level up this is just me

y/n: when he’s just as delusional as you>>

yoongi: i am funny

we’ve talked about this

y/n: ur funny to me definitely!!!!

yoongi: i’m funny to everyone

y/n: no !

but i love ur confidence it’s so sexy yoongi >\\<

yoongi: it’s fact not confidence

stop calling me by my name

y/n: babe

yoongi: whatever

y/n: so when i asked you what we are

yoongi: girlfriend

y/n: boyfriend

yoongi: yeah so shut up

y/n: why can’t we have fun like other couples do

yoongi: we are not other couples

y/n: essentially what you said is they not like us

kendrick lemar reference

didn’t know you was down with the culture like that

yoongi: yeah

whatever you just said to me

y/n: beat ur ass and hide the bible if god watching

yoongi: didn’t know u were religious

y/n: trying to strike a cord and it’s probably A MINORRRRRRR

yoongi: now ur suddenly musically inclined

ok

y/n: they not like us

they not like us

yoongi: ok

y/n: yoongi i’m rapping the song for you

yoongi: oh

what song is it

y/n: THEY NOT LIKE US

you said you knew what it was

yoongi: i don’t even speak english fr

y/n: so you speak it for fake?

yoongi: how was i supposed to know you were doing that song

y/n: you know what we are

yoongi: what

y/n: divorced

yoongi: ok 👍🏼

they not like us

HOSEOK -

y/n: bro

hoseok: dude

y/n: why is it jhope on the street????

why isn’t it it jhope in his 476 billion won mansion

why

hoseok: maybe cuz i don’t own a 476 billion won mansion idk?

y/n: LAME

hoseok: my fault

y/n: i’m glad you get it

hoseok: what do you want

y/n: what are we

hoseok: i would say we gang

we tight fr

y/n: ??????

what are we ^^DOING TODAY

hoseok: oh

y/n: should i slap you

hoseok: 😼

y/n: bye

hoseok: come back gang

ily gang

i fwu bro

come back homie

y/n: is this racially charged?

hoseok: don’t say that 😟

y/n: said it

so is it?

hoseok: what if it was

y/n: oh so ur a racist is what ur saying

hoseok: i said what IF

geez woman read 🙄

y/n: and a sexist ok

hoseok: what if i killed myslfe

y/n: what if you could spell

hoseok: *myself

what if i killed myself

y/n: you would die a racist and a sexist

hoseok: 😔

y/n: i’m bored

hoseok: ok

i would say let’s go out

but who wants to hang won’t with a racist and sexist loser who can’t even spell 😔

y/n: no u right

hoseok: you know you lack the motherly instincts to care and nurture

y/n: you lack the attractiveness of jungkook

hoseok: ok wow

y/n: don’t fight when you know you can’t win

hoseok: you told me my face card go crazy tho 😟

y/n: crazy in debt

hoseok: act like an angel dress like crazy

y/n: all the girls are girling

hoseok: do ever sit back and think omg hoseok the loml might be depressed let me be nice to him and cook him a meal out of love

y/n: no

hoseok: you were right in asking me what we are

cuz you can’t be my girlfriend

you just can’t

y/n: ok so i actually asked what we’re doing today

not

what are we

so

hoseok: ily

y/n: ???

hoseok: i love you

y/n: i love you too 😘💞😜🔥

hoseok: ok stop

y/n: 😔

JIMIN -

y/n: what are we?

jimin: if we were jin we would be hungry

y/n: you can’t keep saying shit like that

jimin: who’s gonna stop me

ooo maybe jin

he could like eat me or smth LMAO

y/n: bet you taste like shit

jimin: you should know

y/n: ok woah

jimin: who said that whatttt

y/n: pls don’t spread my private information like that

jimin: but

y/n: DON’T say anything gross rn

jimin: ok i don’t even like you fr

y/n: yeah

so what are we?

jimin: not jin

y/n: i’m aware

jimin: ok so stop asking

y/n: i’m asking what are WE are

not if we’re jin

jimin: ok but WE aren’t jin

so i think that’s ur question answered

y/n: be fr

jimin: you scratch my back i scratch yours

y/n: that sounds shady as hell??

jimin: shady under the sheets

y/n: …

jimin: mmmmmm yeah

y/n: ??

jimin: sorry

y/n: you should be

jimin: horny

y/n: couldn’t tell

jimin: i’m subtle like that

y/n: sure

jimin: come over 😜

y/n: 🖕🏽

TAEHYUNG -

tae: ur the only one in this life that matches my freak

y/n: no i don’t

tae: yes you do babe don’t be so hard on yourself 🙄💞

y/n: no i’m telling you i don’t match your freak

nor do i want to

like on purpose

tae: ok so what am i to you

what are WE?

y/n: i was supposed to ask you that question

tae: see i knew

cuz our freaks are matched

so i knew you were gonna ask me that

y/n: that’s not how matching freaks works

tae: don’t deny our match

it hurts my heart babe

it hurts me

❤️

see that?

it’s my heart

but it’s hurt

so it looks like this

💔

sometimes a perfect exterior doesn’t mean a perfect interior

y/n: shut up

tae: will you match my freak?

y/n: will you stop talking

tae: only if can we cuddle

y/n: whatever

tae: so are you gonna match my freak 😆

y/n: yes

tae: 🦶

y/n: nvm

NAMJOON -

y/n: btw what are we?

namjoon: humans

y/n: ok

namjoon: are you mad at me???

y/n: no

namjoon: was that a trick question?

y/n: no

namjoon: i’m sorry

y/n: ok

namjoon: you are mad at me

y/n: am i?

namjoon: yes

but i’m not sure why

work with me here pretty

y/n: no

namjoon: you said what are we

so i’m guessing what i said wasn’t the right answer

y/n: idk

namjoon: hmmmm

like as in us?

you and me

our relationship??

y/n: SO YOU KNEW WHAT I WAS ASKING BUT STILL GAVE ME THAT STUPID FUCKING ANSWER

hUmAnS 🤓☝🏽

namjoon: oh wow

i didn’t know honestly babe

swear on it

y/n: ok DON’T care

namjoon: we are in love

you are the love of my life

my person

my everything

y/n: heh rrly 😼?

namjoon: i’m kinda hurt that you had to ask pretty

we’ve been together for 4 years now?? you should know what we are

y/n: I’M SORRY

IT WAS A JOKE A FIRST BUT THEN UR ANSWER PISSED ME OFF

my fault og 😔💔

my fault my heart 😔💔

m-my fault 😔💔 *tears up*

namjoon: it’s okay my love

did you just stutter though text?

y/n: yeah

you fw it?

namjoon: sure

y/n: sure isn’t yes

namjoon: yes

y/n: ok now ur yes feels fake

like i forced it out of you

namjoon: you didn’t

i said yes because i liked it

y/n: ok it still sounds like i forced you to say that with a gun to ur head

namjoon: but you didn’t

y/n: feels like i did

namjoon: but you didn’t

you know that and i know that so it’s fine my love

y/n: is it

namjoon: is

y/n: what if our messages get leaked and they say i’m like keeping you against ur will

namjoon: i’ll tell them you’re not

y/n: they won’t believe you

namjoon: they will

y/n: if you say so

namjoon: i do

y/n: hot 😼

SOEKJIN -

y/n: what are are we?

jin: she’s just left you can come over now 😮‍💨

y/n: omgggg ok jimin yk who just fell asleep i’m on my way

jin: that’s not even funny and i’m not even sleeping

y/n: wdym jimin??

jin: NOT FUNNY

y/n: that’s what i thought

jin: whatever

y/n: also never use that emoji ever again

it feels like a youthful emoji and ur not that

basically agephishing

jin: fishing??

y/n: SIGHSSSS anyways

what are we?

jin: ??

y/n: what are we?

jin: ???????????????

y/n: what are we?

jin: ??????????????????????

y/n: clearly YOU’RE illiterate

jin: when i want to be

y/n: wowwwww

jin: yeah

y/n: but you were bugging out at the jimin thing

jin: if you mention the enemy’s name again what YOU’RE gonna be is blocked

y/n: u love me deeply

jin: whatever helps to sleep at night

y/n: you

jin: ok that was cute

y/n: you love me be honest

jin: just a bit

y/n: winnnnnnn

JUNGKOOK -

y/n: what are we?

jk: sometimes i like to pretend that we are ants i’m a worker ant

and ur the queen

and my biggest concerns in life are bringing you food and avoiding being stepped on

y/n: ok so like that’s a little bit insane kook!

jk: 😕

y/n: and you said pretend? not think

jk: yeah 😕

y/n: oh!

ok so

like

how do you do that exactly?

jk: i bring you food

like little snacks all the time

i thought you liked it

we are just like ants

🐜❤️🐜

us

worker ant x queen ant

y/n: ok

yeah

yeah

ok

so cute kook soososo cute!!!

jk: omh wait isn’t it lowkey inscest cuz the queen gives birth to the workers

y/n: ok stop taking

jk: maybe i’m like a worker that already existed

like you didn’t give birth to me

i was just there

y/n: please stop talking.

—

was a scrap that’s why joons is so bad I CANT WRITE HIM AS A FREAK NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY IM SORRY 😭😭

i love writing hobi can you tell part 1229302 or smth

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @earth2ela @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @meowgiz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @iammeandmeisiam @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos @featjunranghae @jksgirlfrl @yeetedandoboi @stellamalonesolaria @joonsprettygf

[fading4ngel]

Really really debating in my head if Johnny would be able to say 'I love you' to V.

Like, the thought of him saying it oh so gently to V is cute, but I kind of feel like he'd say it in the most roundabout way possible instead.

[gvnuzi]

Cyn making the DDs:

[vhyunjinverse]

Geto Suguru had something called the cooties. That’s what you called it, everyone else called it pregnancy. It was a disease amongst the both of you. You sat there, groaning at the multiple pregnancy tests on your bathroom counter, all of them of a different brand-all of them saying “positive”.

He couldn’t keep his dick out of you to save a life. The same man who paced around outside the bathroom door. “You don’t get to be stressed out damnit, be still!” You yelped, opening the door to the man and walking past him.

“Oh come on princess, don’t be mad- come here let me hug you.” He was an idiot. A smart, idiot. Geto never did anything without a reasoning. There wasn’t a sad look on his face, he was happy. The idea of you being swollen with his child…he could see it now, how much your chest will leak, that swollen stomach, how sensitive you’d be. Fucking narc.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“You did this on purpose.”

“Then let’s fuck and makeup-“

“SEE THAT RIGHT THERE.” You throw the nearest thing you could get your hands on at him.

[ylge]

What if Eduan could possess Aguero too? What if their sons are still in full consciousness when they possess them?

This is just a crack idea turned into comic, don't think about it too much 🤣