#well...dead as in exhausted
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I have so many thoughts on Arcane which I'll get to eventually, but before that I just have to say...
ANYONE who is complaining about how short and rushed this season was, or how little time we got with certain characters/plots... don't blame the creators or the writers.
Blame the streamers. Those studios, Netflix in particular, are the ones who are responsible for destroying TV and cutting seasons in half, and then limiting most shows to 2 seasons. Television has suffered so much because of their greed. Those studios aren't run by artists, they're run by moneymen. They don't care about your shows, they don't care about the stories or the characters or the fans, they just want money. And they mismanage their money so much it's fucking sickening.
And yes, it is a choice. It doesn't have to be this way, and there can be exceptions. The finale of the last season of Stranger Things was 2 and a half hours long. It was it's own movie.
So blame the streamers. Blame them every single day until we get greedy asshole's hands off of our art so that we have the space to present our stories in the way they deserve.
EDIT: To be clear when I say streamers, I'm talking about the studios, particularly the ones like Netflix/Disney/Hulu that can only be watched on the internet via streaming apps. Broadcast television used to be, and still is in some cases (Blue Bloods, Grey's Anatomy season 87...), 20-23 episode seasons. With story and nuance and side quests and growth.
#fck the studios#the art is dead#it is only about money now#i'm shocked at how well this season went considering how little time they had#arcane s2#arcane#arcane season 2#jayvik#caitvi#jinx#timebomb#so many things they have could have expanded on#that would have easily covered the 22 episodes that tv used to be#honestly it's hard to work in this industry and witness first hand#how badly studios fuck over movies and shows#they RESENT creators#and then it's worse to come on here#and see everyone blame the writers#the writers who often have to FIGHT tooth and nail to keep in some of your favorite content#ugh. it's so exhausting.#next time you're mad a creator#remember there's a greedy corporate asshole behind them who's tying their hands
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self insert stuff
basic info + awful silly sketchbook stuff under the cut :3












#he and kieran become fast friends but cowboy doesn’t reveal his former association with the o’driscolls until later in the friendship. and#the vdl’s now respect cowboy enough to never mention it again unless he does because cowboy literally hates it just like kieran#i also don’t know if i want him to canonically die yet or if it’s an au in the pic i drew nor do i exactly know who kills him or when but h#definitely gets stabbed and bleeds out. idk it just feels right to me.#i really don’t have too much to add here i literally just made him for comfort and to selfship if im being perfectly honest#a few years ago i would not have been embarrassed to post this but alas. fandom spaces have become so much less friendly since then. so be#nice to me thank you#i made my cat into a horse as well but i dont feel like getting pics of it from my ipad because i am exhausted so. that’ll be later. maybe.#if i have the strength to post any more about it/not delete this in a while#if anyone gives a gaf feel free to ask abt him or whateva#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#image#art#hero draws sometimes#hero’s a cowboy now#<- self insert tag. also get it ? eh ? ehh ???#ironically cowboy is actually another name i used to go by. i guess i technically still do in some places but i dont use those places anymo#re so … idk. it’s still a nickname though ! even though no one knows nor uses it anymore LOL#idk if i want to tag the characters raugh im scared#i guess. i guess. i guess.#kieran duffy#arthur morgan#javier escuella#dutch van der linde#self insert#rdr2 self insert
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Summer's ending...
#welcome home#welcome home fanart#frank frankly#eddie dear#eddie x frank#frank x eddie#And yet I'm still dying of heat exhaustion come on September come through for me#Hey y'all I'm not dead just clocking 44ish hours at work and back in school#Hope everyone is well!
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About Por
This episode focuses a great deal on how the boys felt about the situation ; it emphasizes Jin's guilt and anger, Fluke's fear for himself and himself only, and Tee's guilty conscience (no wonder he's the most scared of all in the current timeline if that's how Non disappeared). Not that it keeps him from enjoying their little success. We get close to nothing on Top, as usual.
But we get a few things on Por. I don't think he cares about whatever happened to Non. It's been established that only being impaled on a branch and slowly bleeding out had the power to make him feel anything about him anyway.
He looks to be proud of himself ; after all, he got what he wanted. The movie is a hit, Non's name was written out in favor of his, his parents, his father especially, are proud and finally acknowledging him. And yet...

I would gif the entire scene if I could, cause damn if he doesn't go through a face journey. Victory doesn't taste as sweet as you thought it would, Por ? Is being acknowledged for something you didn't do iffy ? Does it feel bad to realize that your father would think Non more deserving to be his son than you ? Is it bitter to know that you'll always have to be a fraud to get his love ?
Now I'm not defending him. His father loathed the way Por used his money and social status to get everything done instead of putting in the work, and what did Por do to fix it ? He used his money and social status to get the movie done instead of putting in the work. And I think, I hope, that this little moment above is when he started to realize it.
It's not his moment, and he knows it.
#dead friend forever#dff the series#I literally had to pause and rewind on my first watch#because of this face Por made#it contrast with how he acted seconds before#I like to see him suffer you see#does he deserve to be impaled on a branch ? let's be real probably not#but he does deserve to be disowned by his dad and left to fend for himself#he deserves to be bullied back and work himself to exhaustion#make him take Non's place. ugh I would have loved this.#but well we'll have to make do with this face
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honestly aside from it being an arthurian thing (all things I hate about fantasy seem to come from king arthur. how did this happen.) where does the whole chosen guy kingly whatever protagonist thing come from it's so annoying.
#fun fact when i tried to read d'morte de arthur (iirc) in like.#idr? fifth grade? i was young#i got so pissed at the way arthur treated his horses#or was it the adventures of king arthur? i honestly don't remember.#cause the only thing i DO remember is that arthur was in some kind of hurry and kept making his horses drop dead from exhaustion#i got so infuriated by this i stopped reading#it's not like i hate all chosen ones i don't#it's just that by default i tend to find that-- and all fate destiny romantic bullshit#to be really really boring#like it CAN be written well i just fundamentally do not enjoy the trope#props to people who enjoy it i just don't#glider rambles#maybe i should reread it to see if i hate it less
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not sure i've seen anyone mention it yet but also i havent looked - but the bit at the beginning of episode 5 where edwin's reading up on astrological compatibilities just before brad & hunter show up - is there a prevailing theory about a specific taurus and aires he might be referring to?
he did just leave charles and crystal together to settle their relationship status (not that he's aware that's what they're discussing at the time), so i'm kind of inclined to assume it was them, but as far as I can recall he & niko are the only people whose signs we're told outright (and frankly, just removing his from the equation does rule out about half the potential ships in the show)
but if crystal is one of the parties involved, that just raises more questions
Like does that mean she remembers when her birthday is? I wouldn't have thought so, since even with only a partial name, a specific DOB might make her significantly easier to look up, particularly if her parents are kind of famous (i've been assuming all along that her name being a noun effectively made her google-proof). Or is it more likely monty just declared her something & they all accepted that as fact because he was noticeably right about everyone else so far? But if that's the case, how much has he been talking to/getting to know the rest of them, because she would press him on that, right? like it's one thing to make quips about people who are capable of confirming their own birthdays being typical of their signs - but since crystal's actively on the lookout for chances to learn more about herself, you'd think someone being confident he can just tell certain things about her like that would be of particular interest to her. And alternatively if monty hasn't spent too much time with her & is still responsible for assigning her a horoscope anyway, does that mean he's been like. displaying a certain amount of supernatural knowledge all along without anyone getting suspicious of him? and where does astrology fall on that scale anyway, in their world? edwin's skepticism at first would imply it's not considered a normal science to them, even in the context of ghosts and spells and witches - unless that's just meant to read as him being especially hypocritical?
Do any of these things have clearly implied answers to people who do know about astrology? Or have I missed canonical birth dates given for anybody anywhere? I feel like they'd shed some light on an unusually large number of questions for me at the moment
#dead boy detectives#the case of the two dead dragons#so idrk which characters to tag here since my whole thing is asking who this is meant to apply to#crystal palace surname von hoverkraft#monty the crow#edwin payne#sorry i dont actually know shit about astrology im just here for the media analysis#if it makes anyone in the know to whom i am appealing feel vindicated#i will admit my only point of reference for this stuff is that i know im a capricorn with an astrology-minded taurus for a best friend#& he often assures me it is extremely fitting both that we're as close as we are and that neither of us gets on well with my aries ex#but thats about where we exhaust my knowledge of these things & i dont want to assume that's enough of a norm#that it's meant to read as the implication here among the edwin/charles/crystal dynamic#though for all i know it could be
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oboro doesnt show up a single time after knhj cut his arm off and he enters his flop era. [takes my glasses off and experiences a level of relief previously unknown to man] whoa. anyways also utsuro isnt doing anything after he tussles with gintoki. the naraku are still attacking everyone the rest of the getaway but hes really just standing back and letting everyone go for no reason. well cuz hes gotta linger around in the school pickup line until he can go get his boy. from the ground.
#sopping wet gintoki posting#now. tumblr's premier oboro fan. doesnt have an exhaustive list of his three appearances. and i no longer remember the chronological#plot well enough to piece them together. what the fuck does he do in between here and#his fight w sugi. i know we see him w utsuro in space a few times. but is he presumed dead by the earthlings until then.#he really is How Many Times Do We Have To Teach You This Lesson Old Man. useless ass fucking character i love him.
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i want to go out and walk in the sun
but there needs to be ink on paper
ink on hand
headphones on, headphones off
music is distracting you know
music won’t help you revise
headphones off and i hear the birds
these could be the ones that woke me up this morning
every morning for 6 weeks
every morning flying over my bus route
me and a backpack of textbooks
did you make a packed lunch today?
no i’m prioritising sleep
that’s so real
meal deal monday, tuesday, thursday, friday, saturday
hoisin “no duck” wrap
not wednesday though. library opens half an hour later on wednesdays.
not sunday. library is closed and i’m in a cafe anyway.
there are people out boating on the river
i am eating my meal deal
sitting in front of the library
i want to stay out and walk in the sun
#it’s giving r/im13andthisisdeep#but i am exhausted from a levels revision#curse whoever came up with the british education system#studying#teenage angst#poetry#omg this is so cringe#i may be cringe but i am free#well i will be free after maths paper 3#cringe culture is dead#so it’s fine#my posts
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That ONE fictional character that sticks with you, no matter what.
#dead cells#the beheaded#blobby#lineart#quick art#video games#indie games#fanart#digital art#my art#artists on tumblr#can’t think straight#I got blobs on the brain#and starting to feel mentally exhausted as well
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oh no my queue ran out while i was sick 😭
#august rambles#technically today is the first day that i can count as Not Sick anymore. and so i went to work cuz who can afford to miss in this economy#and now i am so dead exhausted sdkjfhfh both cuz still recovering and also i sleep HORRIBLY while sick so i havent slept well in days#i was gonna finally start getting to my asks and replies and the like today after work........ but i am so tired dkjhdfhfd#maybe i will wait and see if i get a second wind later today and finally start answering stuff then lol
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If you could either change one event in the past or guarantee one opportunity in the future, which would you choose?
(any muse(s) you want to answer with!)
Another ghost taunting him in the Warp. Expected. Valdor marched through the realms of Chaos without issue-- golden armor, weathered and worn and covered in gibs or dirt or blood. His eyes long since lost their determined sheen, only hollowness remaining in his gaze. His grip tightened on his spear. How many years had he been looking for the Emperor's lost shard? His true name? A thousand years? Two thousand? No, surely more, surely FAR more. Constantin Valdor had searched for the Emperor for so many years, they all blurred, and he lost count over how much time passed. It was to the point he adapted to the Warp, learning of it-- using cults to learn Enuncia, studying cloning, advancing, while he endlessly searched for the one man he would dedicate his life to.
" If I could change one thing, " Valdor spoke absentmindedly, as if this were an automatic response, one he'd grown so accustomed to saying that he just started responding to things like this over and over and over again, " it would be stopping the Emperor from making the Primarchs. "
" I failed Him by not telling Him. " Valdor grunted out, readying his spear as it crackled with energy, eyes staring down the next daemon in his path as if it were but an annoyance. He swung his spear, cleanly cleaving through the horrid spawn and sending more ichor across the ground and his armor. He was going further into the Warp. Another sight of a mangled soul whispering to him, I am Kalak the Blood-Gorger.
" I failed Him by letting him continue. It was my duty as His spear to protect Him. I knew the Primarchs would be nothing but trouble. I knew they would doom us all. And yet... "
" I stood by. Because it made Him happy to create them, beings who could truly talk to Him, have conversations, live as long as He could. They were not genecrafted with loyalty like myself or the Custodes were. He could debate with them. He could love them. I suppose, in some ways, I failed Him, because I could not compare to such aspects-- yet I once thought myself better than His sons. I am a loyal warrior, His servant. "
As Constantin said those words, he slowed and tilted his head back to look up at the churning blood-red skies of Khorne's domain. Exhaustion overtook his body, leaving him weak. He did not stop... for ten thousand years, he just never stopped. His knees finally buckled, and he dropped to his knees. He was so tired... When the Captain-General tried to look at the soul that asked him this question... they were gone.
" Oh... Emperor... "
" ... please... Let me find You. Your name. To free You of Your curse. " So then I could free myself of mine.
#ⅠⅠ answering voxcomms ~ answered. ⅠⅠ#ⅠⅠ target on auspex ~ anonymous. ⅠⅠ#ⅠⅠ entering warpspace ~ ic / in character. ⅠⅠ#ⅠⅠ where angels fear to fly ~ constantin valdor. ⅠⅠ#ⅠⅠ for death will surely do the same. ~ king in yellow. ⅠⅠ#//HANDS YOU THIS. FORGIVE ME FOR THE BIG NOVELLA#//i just imagine the vibe with valdor as king in yellow in the warp is like. fucking exhausted#//dude's like dante. he wants to die and have it all end but he still has his duty to the emperor still. hes trying to get emps off#//the throne. but. well. gestures. its a bit hard to do that when you cant find empie's soul/true name#//hes been in the warp for 10k years and seen all these souls and spirits and daemons and somehow survived by becoming like...#//a warp entity of his own#//hes tired; and with being in the warp i imagine it just. gives him so much time to think. TOO much time to think#//and i imagine (bc we see in V:BotI a mantra he has repeat in his head the moment he thinks of anything BESIDES his duty to emps)#//(from malcador) with malc dead and emps on the throne. he doesnt HAVE that mantra anymore. and can actually think about his old life#//and WHO HE USED TO BE!!! so hes finally; slowly; experiencing the brunt of emotions again; bit by bit. and its torture for him#//all he wants is to finally rest; but his loyalty to the emperor doesnt let him have that
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h
#the world is fucking falling apart#its so unfair its just not fucking fair#not to sound selfish but man. this is the one life i get and the only 20s i’ll get#and they have to be during all this shit???#i wanted to go to the rally tomorrow but of fucking course its during a weekend i work and its the one day we’re fully fucking booked!!!!!!#i cant even fight back#and i cant even call my friends to feel better bc theyre busy with family or friends or partners#i just want to be someones favorite person#i want to be someones first choice#i want to be loved as much as i love#thatd make this hell world a little more bearable#im so stressed and so busy and when im not im exhausted and ive barely drawn or written for 2 months#i feel so dead inside#im holding on so tightly but i dont know what im holding onto#maybe its the possibility of a brighter life? but that feels less and less feasible every day#i want a full time job that pays well and has good benefits and will let me move out#but i never have time to make anything worthy fr my portfolio to up my chances#so i feel so fucjing stuck#and lonely#in a world thats crumbling#shut up chili
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I’ve seen a lot of posts praising the intertwined love stories of Hadestown - their songs, their themes, their acting, their emotional impact - and all of it is absolutely deserved. But can we take a moment to appreciate the weight of "If It's True"?
“If it’s true what they say, what’s the purpose of a man? Just to turn his eyes away?”
“If he turns his back on everyone that he could’ve stood beside?”
“If it’s true what they say, I’ll be on my way.
But who are they to say what the truth is anyway?
‘Cause the ones who tell the lies are the solemnest to swear.
And the ones who load the dice always say the toss is fair.
And the ones who deal the cards are the ones who take the tricks
With their hands over their hearts while we play the game they fix.”
“I believe in us together more than anyone alone.
I believe that with each other, we are stronger than we know.
I believe that we are stronger than they know!
I believe that we are many. I believe that they are few.
And it isn’t for the few to tell the many what is true.”
I was expecting star-crossed lover feelings. I knew there would be an archetypal tragedy that seems both preventable and inevitable. Those elements, I could brace myself for somewhat. But nothing prepared me in the slightest for the CLASS CONFLICT arc, and it gave me chills like Eurydice had in that storm.
#and then all of those lines are followed up with ‘why do we turn away when our brother is bleeding?’#‘why do we build a wall and then call it freedom?’#‘if we’re free tell me why i can’t look in my brother’s eye?’#interspersed with the ‘you gotta keep your head low if you wanna keep your head’ refrain because they’re still afraid! but they don’t stop!#the workers’ development made me cry#orpheus was really like#‘well i can accept that death is inevitable and irreversible and let my wife go#like every human does with every other human as a fact of life#or i can start a socialist revolution and force the king of the dead to listen to me.#…#POWER TO THE PEOPLE!’#it isn’t even that he’s so resigned and hesitant at first#it’s more like he sees how hadestown works is like ‘wow this is fucked up. you afterlive like this?’#and the desperate downtrodden exhausted emotionally crushed workers are like#‘wait. is this fucked up? holy shit it is! what the fuck? let’s rise up!’#orpheus is like ‘yeah that works! okay! i was genuinely giving up there but let’s go!’#hadestown#hadestown orpheus#if it’s true#hadestown if it’s true
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Greetings from ‘working at a tourist destination during local spring break’
#🎃 Cryptid sighting#I’m not dead 👍 just in a super weird mental place and so profoundly tired#Oh gawd I’m so tired sgdsgdsgds#I’ve been exhausted anyway lately but CHEESUS FUCKING CRIPES#The need to find a job that DOES NOT deal with the public again is STRONG#I hope y’all are alright. And if you’re not sending hugs to you#On the positive side: my sprained wrist is pretty much healed up & almost back to full strength#I didn’t mind the doctor’s instructions to not use my hand as well as I probably should have#But it appears if there was a tear that it was far more minor than it seemed those first couple weeks#So yay! One less thing stressing me out
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As someone with ADHD, you know you're fucking exhausted when you're not even fidgeting. :'D
#I'm literally just sitting here. listening to shit. I usually need to fidget or do something while doing that but no. I'm just staring off#into space. At the creature that I'm dogsitting.#he's exhausting too but it's mostly from the fact that I did a lot of physical labor in horrible boots and now my lower body is dead#I mean this creature eats anything and everything off the ground. One walk and I had to pull 4 acorns. 7 leaves. 5 rocks from this#idiot's mouth. he's not allowed off leash because he just bolts as well. He's sweet but I'm pretty sure there's just a walnut rattling#around in his head lol. I genuinely worry about this dog because...He genuinely has a deathwish#speaking of which. if anyone knows how to teach your own dog how to stand up for herself I would appreciate it :'D#I give my own dog. my sweet girl Mocha. a treat and this little guy starts hopping up and biting at her mouth until she drops HER treat#and then he runs away with it! And I'm like “sweetie. why are you letting him treat you like that?!?!”#yes I separate them when I give treats but still :'( My girl is too sweet for this cruel world.#She's so sweet and brings her OWN toys up to him so they can play together and he just runs away with them and growls at her.#They're HER doggy toys!!!#I know I'm complaining a lot. He's not that bad but also... My Mocha. (also he chases the cats. we have shit blocked so they can#have their own space and be safe and a space for him but oof)#Mad rambles#Mad vents#I'm mostly still recovering from those horrid boots as we realized once I took them off that they basically were at a weird slope.
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Enlightened shadows prevail
To the darkness she succumbed
Her mind a taunting guilt
Her heart a beating drum of pride
She cannot breathe most days
But upon the light of the moon
She sat upon a river facing her truth
Falsity faded away with the current
The aqua surface enlightened once more
#dead poets society#original poem#poems on tumblr#poetry#poetic#poets on tumblr#positive mental attitude#spilled poetry#the tortured poets department#writers and poets#writerscommunity#writeblr#writers on tumblr#female writers#my writing#writing#vintage aesthetic#mentally fucked#mental illness#mental health#mental wellness#mentally exhausted#poems and quotes#inspiration#inspirational quotes#writer stuff#authors
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