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g00seg1raffe · 2 months ago

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I feel like it's not addressed enough that Obi-Wan was so not ready for Anakin at the end of TPM. He wasn't quite ready to be a Knight, let alone take a Padawan, let alone Anakin.

Like, imagine you're 25 years old, already dealing with plenty of issues from your shitshow of a teen-to-young-adult experience when your Master - your father, your friend, your teacher, your guardian of 12 years, who you didn't always have the best relationship with but goddamn it you tried so hard and overcame so much to get to where you are - is literally murdered in front of you by a fucking demon, the ancient bogeymen of all your childhood stories who are suddenly very real and killing the people you love. Everyone looks at you now with so much awe and fear because, in a haze of grief and panic, you managed to become the first to kill a demon in a millennium - which is somehow that's enough of a qualification to immediately graduate your apprenticeship with full honours even though you never actually got the chance to finish it. Five minutes of pure terror turned your life upside down, and now you have to shoulder the burdens of a knighthood that you know you're not ready for, and find some way to live with the crushing expectations that come with your newfound, accidental and very unwanted semi-legendary status. And, if that wasn't enough already, within 24 hours of all this going down, you're also legally responsibly for raising a hyperactive 9 year old ex-slave Child of Prophesy with crippling CPTSD and more power than god. You somehow, somehow have to raise this boy to be both a good Knight - which you haven't had a chance to figure out how to be yourself yet - and a functional person - which was never and easy thing for you to be but is getting harder by the day. You desperately want to do right by your new Padawan and honour your Master's dying wish but you're not ready for any of this, you didn't ask for it, and you're trying so hard to not repeat Qui-Gon's mistakes whilst also being painfully aware that you can never live up to what he could have been. Then there's homework and missions and nightmares and you worry that Anakin isn't making friends and you haven't slept more than 3 hours a night in weeks and the President of the Galaxy is pressuring you for some Private Alone Time with your child -

How the fuck is anyone supposed to handle that?

#I'm looking for fic recs of this concept if anyone has any #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #sw prequels #I feel like this is the source of a lot of their issues #obiwan couldn't be what anakin needed but he tried so hard #and in trying so hard for ANAKIN he never got the chance to become what HE needed himself to be #so Anakin thinks of Obi-Wan as his father #because he was 9 and traumatised and he needed a parent who he could depend on #and Obi-Wan thinks of Anakin as his brother #because he was 25 and grieving and already overburdened even before someone gave him a child dependent on him #someone help these men i never thought id say this but. i dont think even gay sex can fix this one #people get caught up in the snark the shenanigans and the ObiKin and kinda gloss over how extremely unhealthy this is #even BEFORE the murder and the sith and the genocide. which is kinda impressive ngl.#bc anakin has always depended on obiwan to an unhealthy degree bc trauma and abandonment issues and isolation #and obiwan never had the chance to figure out who he could be without anakin depending on him.#jesus christ these two need ten years of therapy and most importantly they need SPACE FROM EACHOTHER

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broareweabouttoviberightnow · 5 months ago

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CW! needle n blood mention!! nothing graphic!! Just the sillies!!

When Darry pulls up in front of the house, the living room windows are thrown wide open. There's a breeze shifting the curtains gently back 'n forth 'n he can can just quietly hear the sounds of Dallas, Soda, Steve, Two, 'n Johnny from inside. Darry cuts the engine 'n rests his head against the truck door, window still rolled down.

He liked doin' this now 'n then. Pullin' up 'n just listenin'. Though Pony had accused him of bein' nosy, 'n it had come in handy a few times when Steve 'n Pony had gotten into fights since Pony was incapable of recountin' events without makin' himself sound better 'n Steve often acted like Pony was committin' a cardinal sin just by existin'. However, more often than not, Darry just liked to listen to 'em foolin' around. He was like his mama in that sense. She'd always loved just bein' in the kitchen when he would be horsin' around with the boys in the living room. Darry had never got it back then, but he could understand now.

'N then there were times like today.

"OUCH!" Pony hollers at the top of his lungs, followed quickly by Soda shushin' him.

"Oh hush, you're fine." Dallas dismisses the kid but Darry's already out 'n slammin' the truck door.

"Oh shit, was that Darry?'

"Pony shh you're fine-"

"Shit that's a lot of blood, is it supposed to bleed that much?" Darry throws open the front door 'n is greeted with the general sounds of all five boys rustlin' around.

"What the hell is goin' on here?" Pony's half crawled up in Soda's lap, starin' resolutely at the wall away from Darry. "Pony lemme see right now."

Pony glances over at him 'n Darry feels vomit crawl up his throat, throwin' his fist up in front of his mouth like he could push it back. Pony's got a needle juttin' through one nostril, blood pourin' down his face. Once Darry's gotten a look at him Pony immediately gives up the facade 'n throws himself at Darry.

"It huuurts!" Darry grabs him by the shoulders 'n holds him at arm's length. It's really not all that bad, if Darry has to guess they just managed to stick a vein 'n that's why he's bleedin' like a stuck pig. He pulls Pony in, adjustin' his head so he's turned to the side.

"Anyone wanna explain?" 'N now that he's really lookin' at them he realizes somethin' else.

"Uh, Darry?"

"Hey, man-"

"So, the thing is-"

"Oh my God." Soda's got a piece of ice chipped off the ice box pressed to his ear, where a silver stud is glintin'. Steve tries to tilt his face away but Darry catches the matchin' one in the top of his left ear. Two grins twistin' the ring through his lip. Dallas wiggles his eyebrow 'n then winces, the bar they've shoved through apparently still sore. That only left-

"Johnny. Do I wanna ask?" Darry fixes him with a stern glare 'n Johnny pales, glances at Dallas, 'n sticks out his tongue where they've managed to jab yet another earrin' through.

"Oh my God!" Darry digs his hands into Pony's shoulders 'n Pony winces. "Dallas Winston, you get that needle out of his nose, I'm gonna get the peroxide." Darry spins Pony around 'n gives him a none too gentle shove towards Dallas. He's grabbin' the first aid kit from the medicine cabinet when he hears Pony howl again 'n this time he doesn't feel nearly as bad.

When he returns to the living room they're all lined up, (mostly) shamefaced. Johnny's starin' down at the carpet, occasionally stickin' his tongue out to push the piercin' against his teeth 'n furrow his brow. He's rubbin' a hand between Pony's shoulders as Pony pouts Soda's twiddlin' his ear between his fingers 'n tryin' hard to not laugh. Steve's got his ears pinched between his fingers, moanin'. Two's still smirkin' a little 'n bitin' back on a snort every time he catches Soda's eye. Of the bunch, the only one without the decency to at least pretend to be remorseful is Dallas. Of course.

"Anyone wanna fess up?" Suddenly the walls, celin', 'n floor are infinitely more interestin' than usual. "Fine then, I'm gonna enjoy this. Pony, c'mere." Pony reluctantly shrugs off Johnny's hand 'n Soda 'n Two send him salutes like he was walkin' to the gallows.

Darry rolls his eyes, takin' him by the shoulder 'n guidin' him to the kitchen sink. "This is gonna hurt, sorry kiddo." He tilts his head over the drain 'n pours peroxide onto the pinprick hole through his nose. Pony wails like he was bein' shot. Darry lets out an almighty sigh.

"Glory, Pony, is he skinnin' you in there?" Two cracks 'n Darry leans back so he can see him through the doorway.

"You watch it or you're next, Two-Bit Mathews." Two throws his hands up in mock surrender 'n Soda stifles a laugh.

"Hey, a man just wants to know what he's got comin' to him."

"A kick in the ass if you don't shut up." Two clutches both hands to his heart 'n swoons into Soda's arms. Soda, who wasn't prepared even a little, immediately drops him. Steve howls. Darry rolls his eyes again 'n focuses back on Pony.

"Now hold still." He wets a paper towel 'n makes quick work of cleanin' up the dried blood. Pony pouts but doesn't fight back. "Now whose fool idea was this?"

Pony bites his lip, darts a glance into the living room. "No one." Darry whacks him a good one around the head 'n Pony whines again.

"Well, no one is about to earn everyone an ass kickin'." Pony hmphs but doesn't look like he's gonna offer any other explanation so Darry grabs him by the ear 'n leads him back into the living room, droppin' him unceremoniously on the couch. Steve chuckles 'n Pony flips him off.

He takes another good look at them 'n clocks Soda's still bleedin' a little so he snaps him up next 'n marches him to take his place at the sink.

"RIP Sodapop Curtis." Dallas mutters 'n Two 'n Steve snicker.

"Lilies at my funeral guys, Lillies." Soda calls over his shoulder 'n Darry gives him the same clip he gave Pony.

"You got anythin' to add?" Soda blinks up at him from where Darry has him craned down in the sink.

"You're lookin' mighty tired, maybe your favorite brother could offer you a back rub 'n we could pretend nothin' happened?" Soda tries for his best charmin' grin 'n Darry raises an eyebrow.

"Wrong answer." Darry pours the bottle out again 'n Soda hisses. "I expect you to use your head, lil buddy. Maybe I'd reckon this from Two or Dallas." He raises his voice a little so the offendin' parties can hear 'n they both make the huff indignantly.

"But you should know better. Pony too. 'N Johnny."" Pony whines wordlessly from the couch 'n Darry barrels on. He doesn't mention Steve. Though he'd expect better from him alone the two followed each other into trouble more than out of it. Darry pauses, pulls Soda out of the sink, pushin' his bangs away 'n studyin' the piercin'. Now that he thinks of it, he hasn't heard anythin' from Johnny.

"You ok, kid?" There's half a second ok silence 'n then both Two 'n Dallas crack up.

"Uh Dar, I think the kid's havin' some trouble talkin'." Both Darry 'n Soda lean dangerously far back to see Johnny through the doorway. The kid is frantically noddin', dark curls boppin' across his forehead.

"I'm good." He answers but it comes out closer to thood. He immediately sticks his tongue out, silver bar gleamin', like the word tastes bad in his mouth.

The room, minus Darry, clingin' to seriosity by his fingertips, instantly dissolves into laughter. Darry snorts 'n quickly muffles it behind a cough. He releases Soda 'n points a finger to the space beside Pony on the couch. Soda plops down, takin' Pony's face in his hands 'n turnin' it this way 'n that.

"Think it'll scar?"

"I'd be more worried about the mark Darry's gonna leave on your ass if I were you." Pony shoves him off but Soda just laughs.

"C'mere, kiddo." Darry beckons a finger to Johnny 'n he pales. "I ain't gonna hurt you, hon. Ignore Soda." Soda gasps 'n Pony chucks a throw pillow at him.

He sits the kid down at the table 'n reaches into the ice box, breakin' off a chunk of the crystals around the sides. "Put that in your mouth. It'll stop hurtin' after a while." Johnny takes it gratefully. Darry watches him a moment more before returnin' to the living room. "Alright Dallas, get in here."

He makes quick work of the final three, who shed no further light on the situation. By the time he's got them all back on the couch he's gettin' dangerously close to stringin' them all up 'n callin' it a night.

"I'm goin' to take care of Johnny 'n if by the time I'm done y'all don't have a better answer to what compelled you all to this foolishness none of y'all will be steppin' out of this house but to go to work or school for the next two weeks, y'hear me?" The group nods sullenly 'n Darry turns on his heel back to the kitchen. Glory, he hopes they come up with somethin'. Havin' all six of 'em crowded in for that long might actually be more of a punishment for Darry.

"Alright kid, ready?" Johnny's lookin' a little sick but he nods again. Darry hands him the last dregs of the peroxide. "Don't swallow it, alright? Just swish it around for a minute 'n then spit it out." Johnny takes it, dutifully puttin' it in his mouth 'n wincin'. Darry tilts his head forward so he doesn't choke. He can hear the others frantically whisperin' in the other room 'n hopes for a good sign. Johnny's eyes keep dartin' back 'n forth between the doorway 'n Darry.

After a minute Darry hauls him up 'n leads him to the sink to spit. The second his mouth it empty he whips around with wide eyes.

"It wath my id-uh." Darry's jaw falls open 'n Johnny barrels on. "I'm thorry! I though it would be thuff. 'N Da-th-as already had the th-erwlry I'm thorry!" He stops solely to stick his tongue out again like he couldn't get used to the feelin'. He's still blinkin' at Darry with big eyes, bitin' at his lip like he's worries he's gonna pop him one. Darry's silent for a long moment before he can't help it anymore.

"Johnny Cade, what the hell am I gonna do with you." 'N he's suddenly laughin' so hard his ribs hurt. When he finally manages to stop howlin' the others have filed into the kitchen, Dallas has an arm slung around Johnny's shoulders 'n Johnny's lookin' only microscopically more relaxed.

"Well, that's that huh!" Two pulls the ice box open 'n pulls out the cake Soda had made last night.

"Oh absolutely not it isn't. Y'all are still on lockdown for the next week for not usin' your heads."

"Aw Darrr-"

"C'monnn-"

"Darryy-"

"Oh no, I won't hear anythin' about it." Dallas elbows Two in the ribs 'n they both get convinin' grins on their faces.

"Well, at least you'll be trapped in here with us." Soda hoots 'n Steve grins 'n they exchange a mischievous glance like they're already cookin' up some scheme.

"Oh, no siree. I'm gonna be out havin' myself a good ol' time without you bunch." Pony shrugs a shoulder 'n shoots him a dismissive scoff.

"Then whose gonna make us stay here 'n behave?" Steve elbows him hard 'n Pony yelps.

"Well," Darry reaches over 'n cuts himself a heapin' slice of the cake. "Johnny's your ringleader now, dealin' with y'all is punishment enough!"