#whats wrong with my brain
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My life 😢
#i dont want to live on this planet anymore#depressing quotes#depressing shit#sadcore#and heartbreak image#depressing life#im crying#tw depressing stuff#heartbreak#sad thoughts#sad quotes#i dont want to be here#i dont want to be alone#life suuuuucks#life sukcs#life is unfair#i feel empty#whats wrong w me#why do i do this to myself#whats wrong with my brain#introvert#meme of the day#meme of the week#the office#michael scott#sadgirl#i'm sad#sadnees#sad aesthetic#sad but true
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i love reading pirated copies of the aops geometry books that i found on archive.org when i cant sleep at night because it makes me feel smart
#shitpost#math ig#wait lol i typed the letter L and this tag was reccomended:#like i have adhd but the autistic community is so relatable#i guess it makes sense because this is tumblr but like#why is this me#ahhhhh#whats wrong with me#whats wrong with my brain#why cant i be normal#:( sigh#guess i just have to be overdramatic and weird#*dramatic sigh*#*theater kid levels of dramatic sigh*
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the gang's all here
#when werner said something like 'i don't know what i did wrong! I followed all the rules' + 'my brain just doesn't work like everyone else's#then i understood. doesn't excuse the white people crimes but it IS an observation i thought was worth mentioning on 'the autism site'#i got more mh shitposts in my noggin btw so take cover#monster hunter wilds#monster hunter#mhwilds#mh#rook roars!
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I'm still processing 7-13, in the meantime have this super quick thing! of all the things that happened that I didn't expect, one of 'em certainly was a not insignificant subplot revolving around Silver unintentionally committing international mail fraud.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 13 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 13 spoilers#honestly i wanted this bit to go on forever. every five minutes a new update on the package. a new thing that silver somehow did wrong.#but oh. oh my gracious. that sure was. a chapter huh#and there's still another part coming huh#'oh this will be a short one probably just buildup to part 2' oh past self you foolish FOOL#how am i supposed to wait for monday now#still churning stuff over in my brain right now. god. so much happened.#kinda disappointed it seems like we're not going to get a silver dream after all :(#but they went in such a COMPLETELY different direction than anything i expected that i'm just like. what is HAPPENING#not in a bad way i'm just treading water here! what the heck twst!#can't believe next week is gonna be like#twst: you know what? fuck you *un-tsunos your tarou*#shit fuck goddamn is this why they wanted to get it in before the anniversary#IS THIS WHY TWST#WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO MY BOY TWST#YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO A CHARACTER YOU SELL MERCH OF
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Snow bots au anyone? :D
They're back together a year later because it's snowing again❄️
All right! For context: I imagine them hanging out every winter in some kind of resort (a resort that Blurr owns. Because his bar business has expanded that much over time.)
#maccadam#transformers#snow bots au#uh that’s a lot of characters. okay let’s go#left -> to right. top to bottom haha#Swerve#Rung#Tailgate#Rewind#chromedome#cdrw#jazz#prowl#jazzprowl#rodimus#rodimus prime#Wing#Drift#Blurr#Swindle#I originally wanted to add Brainstorm falling out of bus window and Perceptor catching him but my brain is shutting down I need to sleep ha#jazz and prowl switching their hats be like#Prowl: I sense something is wrong..where's my hat?? (looks around) (sees it on Jazz's head) Oh there it is. Cool.#five minutes later: wait. If my hat is there than what am I wearing right now???? error 404#world greatest detective ladies and gentlemen~
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something so fucked up about Chat Noir’s whole deal is that he is in a lot of ways Adrien playing a character. Like Adrien picked up his miraculous and was told he’d be a superhero so he was like “ok, time to act like a superhero!” and he lets himself have fun w it and play up the role and let loose and kind of just allow himself to be silly and goofy and have fun and for once in his life not care about performing Perfection™.
But. But none of the other characters KNOW THAT. So everyone just sees Chat Noir and is like “look at this guy’s ego. He’s so full of himself. Surely it’d be fair to knock him down a few pegs” without being aware of how few pegs he actually HAS. He’s like the “insecure character who overcompensates in ego” trope except he’s really not doing it unironically, he’s just having a fun LARP pretending to have self worth in his off-hours but nobody else is on the same page about it being a game and he refuses to tell them. He just dramatically pouts about it and lets them laugh and pretends like he’s not internalizing it and it is almost 3 am and my brain forced me to write this instead of sleeping I’m gonna take a melatonin
#writing this my brain was like: what if he actually likes it?#what if he likes people openly criticizing him in ways nobody actually does to Adrien agreste?#because Adrien Agreste is perfect and can do no wrong. maybe he enjoys being insulted or something#and then I remembered chat noirs multiple breakdowns about feeling unworthy and yknow what yeah I don’t think he likes it LOL#do normal people actually fall asleep when they lie down#if you can’t tell I recently decided to make my random ml musings your guys’ business instead of keeping it to myself#hope you enjoy#buggachatter
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Hey guys, what if it was jane who forgo— *gets shot*
#i woke up today and chose angst#jane doe forsaken#forsaken roblox#forsaken#john doe forsaken#johnjane#john doe roblox#jane doe roblox#roblox#forsaken fanart#what's wrong john? wasn't it you who so desperately wanted your memories back?#< the spectre or something#idk im not rll caught up too much on lore#everytime i see the word monster its a coin flip (chance reference) between my brain screaming that its a undertale reference or an#epic the musical one#homicidalporkchops#forgottenrings#edit; decided to add tag >#forsaken memory wipe au
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Job promotion (now what?)
Comic 1: Interrogation



Caught him lurking in the background (he was being suspicious in their defense)
Comic 2: Everywhere you go.


#naruto#naruto fanart#kakashi hatake#obito uchiha#itachi uchiha#shisui uchiha#sasuke uchiha#yamato tenzo#fanart#art#my art#sketch#drawing#digital art#my account turn one year todayy like wow didn’t see the time passing by#thought about doing something like would sketch request be fun or attempting to draw#thinking but my brain is empty right now#so silly post about kakashi promotion going the opposite way#doomed to be a sensei (in a good way)#having to deal with Itachi and shisui (and later tenzo when they’re older)#what could go wrong!#(his students are very time oriented when he simply wants to sleep in)#ps it’s also 25 posts yooo
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Arcane AU ...
#dnd#dungeons and dragons#artists on tumblr#arcane#art#ocs#marsilio#my two special interests together what could go wrong#my brain for example#you can see these redraws/studies are from last year by the time stamp and also the other style#i hadnt fallen in love with the pastel brush yet
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Thinking about that concept sketch of the companions around the table again. Emmrich’s fancy posing. 🤭
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#my art#my head is super empty today and wasn’t sure what to scribble#then I suddenly remembered the concept sketch of the table#and tried to redraw it#he’s such a fancy man#but he’s probably judging a MW rook for getting their info on the dead all wrong again#his inner professor mode is screaming to correct them#probably#or he’s resisting the urge to kiss em#and he’s trying to look as aloof as possible#oh Emmy#stuck in my brain still
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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body swap
#VERY UNINTENDED HIATUS#my only explanation for u is that i am so academically locked in rn. ANYWAYS#i think akechi could pretend to b pego#there WILL b flaws. but i think he can explain away well enough#pego is a car on fire#one interaction with sae & he is clocked as PECULIAR & WEIRD#sae thought she was already used to goro's very special flavor of weirdly hypercompetent & vulnerable teen#but no. curveball. get hit with pego's brand of weirdness#persona 5#p5#persona 5 royal#p5r#procreate#2024#goro akechi#persona 5 protagonist#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#shuake#akeshu#4.5 hours#taitavva sketches#i LOVEEEEE drawing akechi in the moment before the straddle#sorry there is something wrong w/ me#< pego brained#i need to draw mroe. i forgot what they looked like#AHHHHHHHHHH
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it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)
i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.
i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.
i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.
in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.
i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.
i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.
my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.
i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.
i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.
it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.
almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.
i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.
i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.
write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.
#spilled ink#writeblr#pos#recovery#my brain is like - don't trust it!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! we can't be wrong again!!!!!!#and im like. what if the sorrow is the thing that's wrong though.#what if this - this!!!!! - is the truth
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Did you think I was done? Ahahahaha no, I have more.
Because chapter 70 of MOMU gave me the very dynamic between them that I missed so much, I just blacked out and started drawing uncontrollably lmao
Also. ALSO. I noticed a while ago that Prowl has the habit of..like…constantly frowning. So. I did a bit of research and made this graph.
In 70 chapters, Prowl frowns rougly 104 times. And the intensity of this gesture is very clearly correlated with the development of his relationship with Jazz, as you can see ahahahahah It might be wrong tho don’t take me seriously I’m not good with graphs

#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#fic fanart#momu fanart#I just#mmmmm#For the whole fic Prowl had to think twice about everything Jazz says#every information could end up being wrong#sometimes even without Jazz realising it#so when Prowl says#he’s trusting Jazz. it’s.#also it totally wasn’t me googling ‘believing and trusting nuance difference in english’#the moment I realised the difference I think my brain started rollercoaster loops#he can’t believe him but he found enough faith to trust him#while. YES. For the whole story Jazz couldn’t fucking be believed#list e n#Jazz did a lot of things for Prowl#fucktons of big and small gestures to show that yes he likes loves and appreciates Prowl#I’m so happy Prowl is returning this energy#like#remember that scene a while back when Jazz kissed Prowl? Cool cool okay. Did Prowl kiss him? nope. It was one sided gestures#*gesture. That kiss didn’t make me feel like it’s truly something precious because Jazz started it but Prowl didn’t do quite the same#but this👆. This feels so much more important for me. Because Prowl#who is for the whole story was mister I calculate every chance of possible betrayal. Prowl whos entire personality is to trust nobody#Prowl goes. Fuck that I trust you. You feel me?#it wouldn’t be the same if he said I love you. Because love is very much something you don’t have a lot of control over.#but to trust someone? It’s a choice Prowl had to consciously make. You see what I mean? I love it. oh fuck I ran out of tags..
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"Hans is all the kind of fun times and all the kind ebullience of joy that Henry has in himself but it takes a bit of accessing and Hans really helps him to do that" oh Tom the man you are.
#the way he described their relationship...fixed what was wrong with m brain#kcd2#kingdom come deliverance#hansry#henry of skalitz#hans capon#kingdom come deliverance 2#kcd#my drawing
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last minute predictions literally right before the special airs
#this popped into my brain today and I was out busy until 8pm#I NEEDED TO POST BEFORE IT AIRS BECAUSE. WHAT IF IM WRONG#im gonna wait for subs to watch it so#gonna go sleep and wake up and hope i can watch it hehe 😎#miraculous ladybug#ml paris special#shadybug#claw noir#toxinelle#griffe noire#my ml comics
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