#when such idolization further and further isolates a person to a point

[saed]

garnet rambles

what if garnet wanted to be a hero, what if garnet wanted to be a fixer just like vergilius but the further they went into that searching for lapis the further garnet was exposed to the reality of what being a fixer does to someone, and by the time it was too late, he could not turn back huh. what if he realized that it wasn't this fanatical thing and it wasn't as easy as telling himself he could do it yet he had too. because lapis was waiting, because vergilius was supporting him. what if in the moments before he dies, one of his many fleeting thoughts is "i'm sorry for wanting to be like you, vergilius" what if he realized the burden that would come with his death and where he failed to follow suit in the eyes of the man who raised him, of the man who he idolized to a pedestal that could've been so.. .. so isolating. and now his death will be nothing more than blood that can never be unwashed from vergs hands

its also like, what if garnets idolization of vergilius stemmed from the fact that he so badly wanted to be the son that vergilius could be proud of? and now that he died in such a way, he realized that now he will be nothing but yet another child from the orphanage he failed to protect. do you know how much that would break garnet ? yeah ok

[yougavememyopia]

Here's the result from the poll! Sorry, it took long. I lost my progress and had to write it over T-T. Longer than usual to make it up to my lovely peeps. Anyway, here is the confident, popular yandere who becomes a desperate pathetic mess for you.

Popular yandere, who was never alone. Circled with adored gazes and loud chatters, people gathered around him like he was some kind of celebrity. His overstretched smile full of fake glee. Crinkled eyes masking a hollow emptiness. No one would care enough to truly look at him, all too busy talking nineteen to the dozen.

It was so easy to predict them. The mundane topics boring him to death. Nothing exciting ever happened. Gritting his teeth, he endured their ramblings. Endured their dullness. Their stupid problems.

Taps of his pencil slapped the wooden desk rapidly. A practiced, charming grin when he greeted you— his new project partner. The invisible loser at the background whose face he rather recognized.

"Hey there, guess we are partners, huh? What a total unplanned coincidence! Uhh, anyway, you can pick the topic. Nono, please, go ahead. I will just follow your lead."

His crew strolled passed you in the fields. Always sinked down on the grass with your back against the concrete wall. Blue light reflected on your face, nose buried deep in your phone.

Your lack of a life amused him. Fascinated at how isolated you were, and yet you were beaming. Giggling at your screen while your posture got worse. Not seeming a bit sad about being alone or wasting your time playing on a machine.

Simple enquiring quickly led to obsessive stalking. Justified by stating how he was merely observing you. Interested in your name and your hobbies, what you ate for the day, where you walked when you had no school, how the interior of your home looked like. A bit of curiosity, that was all!

The school project was the key to getting closer to you. Instant refusal to every person coming his way, sweet talking them into grouping together by pointing out their strengths. No objections were made. His judgment very well-trusted. Now you had the idolized annoyance as your group member, exactly like he planned.

FINALLY, he could talk to the nobody persistently invading his mind. The endless thoughts of you giving him heartache. He couldn't get his beauty sleep at night, and when he did, the dreams were all about you. He wasn't normally the type to approach people, not like he had the time to. Every waking moment of his day was stuffed with zealous yet shallow admirers. Everyone loved him. Gawking at his good looks, adoring his style, praising his intelligence.

You didn't even bat an eye.

He was nonexistent to you. Eyes boring into indifference. Frustrated, at how you treated him like he was someone insignificant. People already began to question his strange, out of the blue behaviour. How he stared at the wall without blinking. You were getting the best of him— he couldn't keep his mask on, uncontrollably snapping at people, apologizing as if he was having a bad day. Every day was a bad day. A torturous wait for you to just look his way.

If you didn't notice him anytime soon, he was going to do something crazy.

Thanks to the project, you finally spoke to him. Irritated, sure. But you saw him, a dopey grin on his face when you repeated back his name. Even getting away with patting your shoulder. He greeted you in the hallways the day after, approached you during lunch the next week, and then started to text you like crazy the following month. No idea how clingy he was acting until you pointed it out. Falling more in love with your weirdness and hidden personality.

You acted uncertain towards him. Hesitant that this was a prank. Afraid that you'd become a laughing stock if this progressed any further. So you built a metaphorical wall between you.

Questions after questions overwhelmingly flooded his brain. Your behaviour much different than the way he was used to being treated. Sarcastic remarks and harsh dismissals hurt his poor, sad heart.

He started to crave even the slightest approval from those around him— what did they think of his carefully picked outfit? Or his light makeup and shiny hair? He needed you to drool over him like the rest of the school did, yet you still didn't trust him. Accusing him of being fake, when all he wanted was to befriend you.

"B-but I swear, I genuinely want to be your friend. Please, listen. I can be myself around you. I don't have to be perfect, do you not get it? I thought you'd understand..."

As you grew more doubtful of his intentions, he became more hopeless. Desperate to change your mind while fighting the insecurity that loomed over him.

You pushed him to completely give in to the urge to follow you home and watch over you from a distance. He'd ask his many connections to keep an idea on you when he couldn't, but since their questions and teasing and judgement would get on his nerves, he settled for a tracking device instead. The digital dot always beeping in the same, familiar spots on the map.

His mind jumbled into a chaotic mess. Your dislike for him beyond his comprehension. All he ever did was be nice, so why did you not give him the time of day? Gifts nor compliments, nothing was good enough for you. He had never did anything like this before. Chase after someone. Love, actually love someone.

For your attention, he was willing to do whatever.He longed to be useful to you. Be at your beck and call at any time like a loyal dog. Everything from your terrible posture to your poor diet to your sleep schedule, he could take care of it. He could take care of you.

In the end, he had no patience, he couldn't stand the wait— he had to ask you out. A spontaneous minute that he wished he could take back. Stutters left his lips while he tried to make the date sound super romantic. Roses, candle lit dinner, moonlight. A perfected plan delivered with anxious jitter. Red face burning hotter than glowing coals and big, round eyes awaited the response.

"Eh... no thanks."

His eyes twitched. You were a loser! A common known label that he hated to use. But how could you turn down the first guy who pursued you? Choosing fictional anime crushes over a live flawless boy pleading for a date. How long were you going to stay in your lonely shell as a kissless virgin?

His determination didn't waver. He was willing to do anything to win you over. Countless attempts turned down due to excuses. Weeks after weeks of him chasing after you. You were driving him insane. Like you were doing this on purpose. "No?!? W-Wha... Why not? You don't want to go outside, you don't want to come to my place, why... Why can I not come to yours? I-I don't care if it is messy or if it s-smells. I actually love it. Um, I just need a chance, please. I need to prove to you that my love is real."

How did he end up being the one begging at your feet? Fingers clenching around your calves, while he looked up with a shameful blush on his face. Embarrassing himself in front of everyone he knew. Their gasps and murmurs ringing through his ears. Humiliation turning his body weak. Hot unwanted tears flooding his vision. He didn't care— he couldn't take the rejection anymore.

"Please believe me, please. It hurts so bad. Ah, I can't breathe. I love you so much. Pleasepleaseplease don't push me away. Don't cast me aside. I want to be with you. I want to be with you..."

He could barely make out your face with the fat tears rolling down his cheeks. His forehead rested on your knee, his head down as if waiting a death sentence. It was getting more awkward the longer he stayed on his knees. Yet he stayed glued to the harsh, cold floor. He'd never felt emotions to this level of intensity before you came. The hurt tightening his chest. A vice grip clamping down to crush his lungs.

Rubbing the back of your neck, you sighed. Feeling bad about the dishevelled flawed mess he turned into. Sweat worked up on your skin from the many eyes staring at the scene.

"You won't stop until I say yes, huh? I guess you proved you were telling the truth. So, fine. Let's get going now... You brought quite the audience here."

"..." His head remained stuck against your knees. Hands shaking against your legs while he exhaled. Not budging at all. The hushed whispers exchanged in the background making your blood boil. "What are you guys staring at? Scram! Go away! Leave him alone."

And they slowly faded one by one. You ran a hand through the soft, silky hair of the needy boy. More attentive to the mess on the floor to care about your surroundings anymore. Sitting on the floor beside him, you lazily wrapped his arms around your neck. A finger pressing his chin up so you could take a good look at him. He sniffed. Eyes all puffy and red. A deprived beg escaping his glossy lips.

"Please... I—"

You cut him off with a small smile. "You can hug me until you're satisfied. I'll be here."

Arms tangled tighter around you. Head tilted in, and you realized what this meant. A hint of anxiety bursted butterflies in your stomach. But you went for it. Suppressing the flinch and moving in. Eyes half-lidded when your velvety flesh met. A low hum buzzing from him. He pulled you closer and closer. Lips parted while you snaked your tongue into his mouth awkwardly. A loud moan met your eardrums. Your little theory of him wanting you to take charge confirmed correct.

He melted like butter despite how you barely knew what you were doing. Uneven movements and unsure licks were just met with pathetic whimpers. Each stroke of saliva making him hot and dizzy. You had a way of making him unbelievably sensitive. No clue why he felt like this was his first real kiss, too. Never understanding the fuss about this pleasant feeling until now.

He pulled back for breathe much too soon, and panted against your face. "I am so glad we found each other, darling. C-can I call you that? Since I am your b-boyfriend now... Right?"

You didn't answer. He didn't give you a chance to. Another peck was placed on your lips. Desperate tongue reaching to wet your lips while you cupped his face. Hands grabbing your wrists to ensure you keep them there. Determination ran through him; He was going to plead and plead until you finally gave in.

[yan-lorkai]

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: I'm very normal about Idia, guys. Being his friend would be great, I just know. Yet he is an interesting character to me so at the same time he'd want you to spend all the time by his side, he also idolizes a version of you, smth smth I love him, enjoy this <3

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warning: Yandere content, control and manipulation tendencies, guilt tripping, gn!reader

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Idia becomes intensely possessive when he first make friends with you, something he’s not used to. His loyalty runs deep and he expects the same in return, often feeling jealous and anxious if you spends time with "the normies", as he likes to call them. He tries to monopolize your attention by filling your days with online games, late-night chats and gossip sessions and anime marathons, making it difficult for you to spend time with anyone else. He even try your blogs if it is something he can do inside his or your room.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Sometimes he beg you to spend the day in his room, studying online as he does, when he is dealing with a particularly bad day - which are slowly turning into a daily thing.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ While Idia doesn’t confront people directly, he’s skilled at subtly manipulating you. If you mention hanging out with someone else, he’ll sulk or act overly dramatic, making you feel guilty for not spending time with him. He wants youto believe you’re the only one, besides Ortho and his family, who truly understands him, ensuring that you stay close. His tech expertise also gives him an advantage over you as he keeps tabs on your online activity, always aware of who you’re talking to or what you’re doing when you are away from him. And if you tell about how suffocating is to be with someone like him or something like that, Idia will make little changes in himself so you won't be bothered by how he acts.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ To further isolate you, Idia draws you deeper into his world, introducing rare games and niche interests that only he can share with you. If you try to make plans outside your usual routine, he’ll always have something special, a one time offer that you simply can't resist. Deep down, his tendencies come from a deep fear of rejection. He’s terrified of being abandoned and he believes the only way to secure your friendship is to make you depend on him as much as he depends on you. He wants to be your hero, strong, fierce, yet he turns into your villain, your tormentor.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ As the friendship deepens, Idia’s clinginess becomes more apparent, though he tries to hide it behind his usual awkwardness. He starts to get anxious whenever you doesn’t respond immediately to messages, bombarding you with worried texts or even calling, something he normally hates doing. When you finally reply, he plays it off but the relief he feels is palpable. He needs that constant reassurance that you’re still there, still close to him, that you still like him.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Idia’s jealousy, though subtle, can become intense. If he notices you are growing closer to someone else, he starts planting doubts in your mind, making snide comments or pointing out flaws in the new person’s behavior. His aim is always to make sure you realizes that no one will ever be as loyal or understanding as he is. He never wants to be obvious about it but his bitterness leaks out in small doses, enough to make his friend second-guess their other relationships.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ When things don’t go as planned, Idia retreats into self-pity, making you feel responsible for his mood. He might withdraw entirely, going quiet for days at a time, only to return with cryptic messages about feeling “left behind” or how much he hates being alone. This emotional tug-of-war keeps you constantly on edge, never wanting to hurt him or push him away, which only feeds into Idia’s control over you. Wether you realize what he does or not, Idia will always find a way to have control over you, no matter what.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Despite his fear of being too obvious, there are times when Idia’s obsession shows more openly. He might create custom in-game avatars of you, carefully crafting you to reflect his idealized version of a romantic relationship. He’ll obsessively collect items or trinkets that remind him of you, even going so far as to create private spaces in games or online where it’s just the two of them, away from anyone else or have an AI of your voice saying sweet little nothings to him, or singing. This, though, he'll never let you know. He doesn't want for you to think he is a weirdo, he just really love you, his bestie.

[cloudyjamjohn]

Egbert, Gender, Disappointment, and Freedom.

This is my house and I will say what I want, but to start here is a disclaimer: This is a big long rant of my thoughts! I don't mind explaining stuff in further detail but be kind! June Egbert is canon and nothing can change that. But if you're going to act like Egbert can't be read as transmasc or nonbinary in the original texts I do think you're being deliberately obtuse. The idea that the transmasc and genderfluid john headcanons that persisted for years before the popularization of June Egbert were all a result of projection and had no substance or reasoning is disingenuous. If you firmly believe John and June can NOT coexist and are certain you won’t change your mind this post isn’t for you. Now then this is my rambling thoughts on why I love genderfluid John and believe his existence would save him. When June first became popularized as a headcanon many of the points people brought up, akining them to their personal trans fem experiences were some of the same points other people used for trans masc john- but, for lack of better wording, it was like looking at these experiences through a funhouse mirror. Where some people perceived June as clinging to the toxic aspects of masculinity to cope with what she thought she needed to be and just remaining miserable for it, others perceived trans masc john as doing the same. Overcompensating for different reasons in a sense. Did June cling to it because it was what her dad wanted? Expected? Did John cling to it as a comfort? Something necessary to be a “man”? The original comic gives us no definitive answers, but something everyone can agree on is these ideas of being manly, strong, and (maybe) insensitive/jerky do Egbert more harm than good. Is this entirely intentional though or is this a result of people not perceiving John as a whole?

Outside of moments where John verbally reasserts his manliness and toughness, where do John’s interests lie? Jokes and practical japery, magic, video games and movies, and paranormal lore. Dissecting these only one of them may really explore John’s inner feelings of gender in Homestuck- his love of movies. John loves action and apocalyptic films, expressing his love of the traditionally masculine, rough and manly male leads with admiration for the female characters sprinkled in here and there. For Con Air he projected heavily onto the male lead, idolizing the idea of being a strong hero, standing up for what’s right, and (most interestingly) being reunited with a loving wife and daughter. While someone could brush this off as June looking for a role model in what she thinks she is supposed to be, or perhaps misattributing some kind of romantic attraction to a feeling of “wanting to be him”, I think it goes deeper than that. If we were to remove the concept of gender from this entirely it shows that Egbert wants to be strong, a hero, and part of a loving family- specifically in the role of a caretaker who is desired and respected. John only ever defends his adoration when other people mock or belittle him for it. His hatred for the film only manifests during a time John’s own self hatred and grief were at an all time high, his denouncement of ConAir not really being targeted at Cameron Poe but himself and his frustration of being (mostly) isolated and confined. 

Is this even about gender anymore? Let’s look further.

While some people do think Dad was abusive, or June hated him, I have to disagree. Because despite young Egbert perceiving their father as this pinnacle of manliness, is that what you actually saw? Because despite dad Egbert being sharp, strong, and gentlemanly he did a lot of things that weren't traditionally masculine. A single father raised by a single mother, he baked often and taught John the art of pranking- one of their greatest joys and something June stopped doing in the epilogues/BC despite it being one of her favorite things and an integral part to her character. Dad never belittled John, each of his letters full of praise and support, almost heavy handedly so. While he would often use gendered language- such as "son", "man", etc.- the idea that any of it was malicious, as if to curb any femininity June might show, seems a bit of a stretch. Dad Egbert remained silently worried, perhaps the only true poignant evidence of toxic masculinity, when John suffered from nightmares and scribbled his inner hatred over his posters in the colors of those he considered his friends.But maybe he did ask, and maybe John didn’t understand because he couldn’t see his own writing on the walls. Which led to the miscommunication and Dad Egbert trying to support his child’s “interest” in harlequin dolls with matching gifts.

The truth of dad egbert is he is a man who was loved, whose corpse John discovered at the tender age of 13, and was never properly mourned.

How does gender play into this???

It doesn’t, and that’s the issue. Egbert, despite their quirks and the uniqueness of their circumstances, is a character people project onto and relate to. They are a trusting character who despite their skepticism loves their friends and does their best to believe in them. Personalized cards on their birthdays, gifts catered to them, thinking of them fondly, listening to them not because they want to but because they TRUST them- even when their friends belittle them, mock them, blame them. Karkat projects his own self-hatred onto John. Dave projects his bro’s expectations onto John. Vriska projects her entire EGO onto John.

And they take it. Because John struggles with their identity, their grief, their communication, their responsibilities, and their own self hatred.

Because John HATES himself and he doesn’t want to disappoint others and have them hate him too. They expect him to be a leader when he just wants to be their friend. They expect him to be a “man” so he tries to fit that role. They expect him to take care of himself and he doesn’t know how, having always followed what others asked of him even if they wouldn’t do the same for him.

And even not Egbert can not meet the expectations of the audience. There will be people who are disappointed if “John” ceases to exist, and people who are disappointed if “June” isn’t all she is. There are people disappointed with June’s clothes and figure despite her being nothing more than a nameless silhouette. Too feminine. There would be people who would be disappointed if she was too masculine. 

While people criticize the genderfluid John headcanon for its “only” root being set in John’s aspect of Breath- freedom and change- I think they’re missing the mark. Because it can also mean to be unbound. Unbound from the expectations and the worries of others, shifting on a whim to whatever feels most right. Freedom of expression, a shift from role to role, a trickster god who stands center stage as whatever they wish rather than a stone-stiff silhouette.

While genderfluidity may sound like a compromise to some, a cop-out to not disappoint anyone, I think it would save John from disappointing themselves. It’s not just about expression after all, them being a woman or man may bring personal euphoria but it doesn’t fix their destroyed relationships. It won’t suddenly make them a more sensitive person, a less anxious person, a person unburdened by responsibilities no matter what some people might think. That would take work.

But, while it may be hard to empathize for those of you who aren’t nonbinary or genderfluid or even trans, feeling free from the burdens of a binary can be invigorating. Not having to worry about how well you present, how “right” or “wrong” you are, is freeing. I truly believe John cutting ties with these self/peer-imposed expectations would leave him room to grow, to look inward, to not worry about changing on the outside but rather on the inside.

That’s my take on the matter at least. At its core I really do believe Egbert’s biggest issues aren’t their gender but rather their grief, lack of support system, and possible undiagnosed autism. I think genderfluid john would be awesome, but therapy would probably be better. Either way June is awesome and I hope she stands center stage with John one day, like Roxy and Roxy. Either that like army of John and Junes lead by a single John that has shed their flesh and moral form, that would be super cool.

Be kind to others and don’t spread hate! <3

[yes-we-are-always-this-autistic]

We all know Shadow wouldn't be able to handle kids, but let's be honest…

He realistically wouldn't teach Cream how to use a gun. Not only is that irresponsible, he would fear Vanilla's wrath. Issue is that Cream would, through some weird circumstance, find out some gun trivia and mention it offhand.

Cream while watching an Action movie: That gun is totally unrealistic! It's only semi-automatic, not fully! Shadow, walking by: … Shadow: How do you know that and why do I feel like I will be blamed for it?

On an actually serious note, I think Cream would be like a therapy animal to Shadow, just as a person. Them spending time together would allow him to calm his nerves and she would probably remind him of Maria's kindness. He randomly gives her headpats sometimes. She doesn't mind and maybe can even tell why he's doing it.

And then there's Shadow constantly dropkicking the 8 year old. Tails might remind him of Maria too, just more of the sister she actually was to him. Shadow presumably idolizes Maria a little, I wouldn't be surprised if his memory of her is a little idealized and he hates being reminded of how bratty a child she could be. It partially breaks him to remember that he had moments where he and his sister had genuine arguments. So, when he sees a similar sibling relationship in Sonic and Tails, it angers him. And, since Shadow is forced to accept that Sonic can dodge him really easily, he instead lets out his frustration on the one he can consistently hit.

Tails: Oh hi, Shadow- OW! Shadow: Sorry, I slipped. Next time, I recommend you stand a step further to the left. Tails, in pain: T-thanks…

Really, Tails is just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But he's getting better.

Shadow would improve over time. With Cream, Tails, Charmy, and also the Chao, he's kind of forced to get better with kids. Well, kids under 10. Sonic alone will forever make him hate teenagers.

If we consider the Mario cast, obviously the bros themselves are fantastic therapy for him.

Shadow: Is it normal that seeing other people happy makes me angry and sad at the same time? Mario, drinking tea: No, Shadow. That's a sign of-a trauma. Shadow: Oh. That explains things.

But, honestly? Rosalina could do some real good for him. They're both heavily isolated and had to grow up in space. She also somewhat looks like Maria, a blonde girl in blue clothes. Plus, the Luma can help calm his anxiety if needed.

Rosalina: It seems that they like you, Shadow. Shadow: (silently decides that Rosalina is his favorite amongst Mario's friends)

There's an obvious pattern that Maria still kinda defines what kinda relationships Shadow has, but that's understandable, since she used to be his entire world. Point is that Sonic, Mario and everyone else allow him to change that.

He eventually sees Cream as her own person. He eventually understands that Tails has no blame in how he feels and maybe even grows close to him. He eventually accepts Sonic and Mario as actual friends. He eventually allows himself to feel loved again, learning from Rosalina that family, even lost members, is meant to prop you up, not pull you down.

And he finds that family in Rouge and Omega. They're not a normal family by any means, but they're the one he needs and wants.

Omega: I KEPT COUNT IN OUR LAST ROUND. I DESTROYED 53 ROBOTS, YOU ONLY GOT 39. Shadow: I blew up at least 60 when I shot down that helicopter. Omega: THAT COUNTED AS ONE. Rouge: Hold up, I'll get the rule book before you two fight over this again.

(Source for the stolen joke)

So yeah, Shadow's bad with kids. He's bad with a lot of people and with being gentle, so he was screwed from the get go. But he's learning. He has all the time in the world to learn.

[alenablack]

The contrasting parallels of Tom M. Riddle & Harry J. Potter

(Big thanks to @chaos-bear for helping me formulate and think this through!)

Let’s start with the basics;

Blood status: Both Tom and Harry are half-bloods according to pureblood society. Harry from his muggleborn mother, Lily Evans, and muggle grandparents. And Tom from his muggle father, Tom Sr.

Moving on we can touch on upbringing:

Both Tom and Harry are raised in the muggle world in unfavorable circumstances. For Tom he is trapped at an orphanage during the Second World War where he experiences bullying and isolation due to his magical nature. For Harry he is left in the care of his mother’s muggle sister and her family. Due to his magical nature he is treated with neglect and verbal abuse. Both of these circumstances create an inherent distrust in authority figures for both Tom and Harry. This also had an impact on their desire for a place or sense of belonging. This brings us to the next point: Hogwarts.

Both Tom and Harry experience Hogwarts as their first home, and the first place either of them call home. Throughout the books we see how both of them are drawn to and protective of hogwarts.For Harry we can clearly see his attachment through his narration. For Tom we mainly see this in three ways; his creation of Hogwarts artifacts as horcruxes as well as his desire to teach there immediately after graduation. Later his takeover of Hogwarts can be attributed to this desire for his first home as well as what it represents to the Wizarding world as a whole. This comparison is made by Tom Riddle himself. He notices similarities in their orphaned wizarding "blood," childhood, Parselmouth talents, and appearance. He makes Harry aware of the things they share, and this in turns shape how Harry views himself later throughout the story.

Finally in terms of basic parallels we can discuss the twin cores. While this could simply be because of the horcrux inside of Harry, I believe it is a further plot device meant to highlight the similarities between the two. Interestingly enough the nature of a phoenix is a constant state of life, death, and rebirth. Which is the cycle Harry and Tom repeat throughout their conflict with one another.

Next let’s move to more obscure parallels, or parallels that rely heavily on personal assumptions. Let’s discuss some similar personality traits between the two wizards. Both Harry and Tom experience moments of obsession; for Harry this can show through how he hyperfixates on death throughout his life or how he has an ability to obsess over the actions of others (I.E. Draco in HBP) and is very unable to be dissuaded from said obsession. For Tom there’s many ways in which his personality is considered obsessive; he too has an obsession with death, although his goal is to outwit it. His obsession with power, and later his obsession with pursuing Harry as an adversary. Furthermore Harry and Tom are both natural leaders; again with different styles and visions. Harry uses kindness and compassion to inspire loyalty, while Tom uses power and fear to motivate others into following him. Both boys have had the experience of being identified as separate and unusual by their classmates, as well as being acknowledged as leaders. Although popular may not be the best term, it is apparent that Tom Riddle and Harry Potter are idolized or reviled depending on the circumstance. Tom, who had become accustomed to power and authority, cultivated these traits even further in founding the Death Eaters. Harry may find it much simpler to embrace the "hero" character in the seventh book, having had so much experience with people looking to him for answers and expecting so much from him. I’ll circle back to this when discussing the polarity between these two. Next, I want to touch on their shared slytherin traits which dumbledore himself calls attention to:

"Listen to me, Harry. You happen to have many qualities Salazar Slytherin prized in his hand-picked students. His own very rare gift, Parseltongue, resourcefulness , determination ¦ a certain disregard for the rules' he added, his mustache quivering again. "Yet it is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

While Harry is very clearly a gryffindor he utilizes traits that Salazar prized. This causes an internal conflict within Harry, funnily enough in his pursuit to separate himself from his idea of voldemort he actually begins to display these qualities further.

While not a parallel in itself I do think it’s interesting how both Harry and Tom place special importance on familial objects (such as the gaunt ring or the invisibility cloak) especially since they share a common ancestor through the peverall line.

Changing gears I believe it is necessary to discuss, at least in part, how these two characters contrast. The fundamental difference between them is simply how they choose to deal with an issue at hand. While Harry and Tom have similar upbringings, they react extremely differently. Harry appreciates the qualities he lacked as a child, such as love, connection, trust, and joy. While Tom appears to be completely opposed to emotional attachments. Loyalty empowers Harry, whereas Tom feels owed it. Tom seeks credit for his uniqueness, whereas Harry avoids praise and criticism. Tom believes he is more powerful than death, whereas Harry believes death is his inevitable fate. Consider their leadership styles: Harry utilizes authority to teach and protect; his objective is to empower. While Tom utilizes his power to oppress and destroy, he lives on his own powers and those of his followers. Although there are clear differences such as, Harry serving as the protagonist and Tom serving as the story’s antagonist, I don’t believe it's central to their characters as to how they fundamentally differ in worldview.

[pawacelsus]

I have thought quite a bit about Audrey’s views on death, but I haven’t really… gone in depth about it. I think she straddles a fine line of being overly accepting of the end, and deathly (hah) terrified of what comes after—but where does this fear come from? Or this acceptance?

I personally feel like it comes, in equal parts, from her deep knowledge of the depravity of humans. She herself committed such a despair act, a complete disregard for the dead, and I believe Audrey holds herself in such high regard that in her mind, “if somebody like myself is willing to perform and capable of these acts, then what of these lesser men?” If a wealthy, powerful noblewoman is willing to defile the dead for money, what would the starving, desperate commoners do?

But then, why do I write her with such callous disregard for her life? Why do I portray her as being equal parts neurotic and careless? I think, in that hypocrisy, lies the key to her character—a desperate craving for control.

Knowing that she is a younger sibling based on a dialogue line wherein she mentions her older sisters hand-me-downs, and being able to surmise she had an arranged marriage, I believe that much of Audrey’s life was out of her control. She lived for the whims of others, and rarely were her desires considered in any meaningful way. She’s abused and mistreated by her husband, and when she does finally snap and decide to take control of her life, what does she do?

She kill’s her husband and robs his grave, an utterly depraved act only further driven by the fact she adores the thrill that comes with, so much so she abandons her life as a wealthy noble. Looking at barks back in DD1, we can assume she ends up being caught: “‘a bird in the hand,’ the judge said. Sigh.” She continued on this path of crime until she got caught, all for the adrenaline thrill.

Knowing that she lived her life surrounded by nobles and otherwise isolated, why wouldn’t Audrey surmise that all other people would be just as cruel as her? She doesn’t view any graves as sacred—so why wouldn’t hers be? She’s certainly not stupid, she’s certainly well aware of her hypocrisy, and that certainly scares her. Considering the fact her company surely doesn’t do much to change her views on humanity, it’s no wonder she’s so cold to the world at large. In my eyes, Audrey believes everybody is just as cruel as she is.

To return to my initial point, knowing that Audrey is cold to the world and believes it to be as cruel as she is, I think Audrey’s overt acceptance of death comes from a desire to control her life. She has been once again put into a situation where she has no control: the world is ending, she’s on a roadtrip to hell, and there’s no bailing unless she dies. If she embraces her death with gallows humor and risky acts, then when she does fall, she can die believing it was her choice. I believe she idolizes suicide as a romantic end because it’s a choice, and Audrey romanticizes the very concept of free will.

But she’s terrified of death and what comes after because, again, she knows how depraved humanity can be. After all, she herself gives the dead no sympathy unless they pay her for it. She doesn’t believe there’s a goodness in the world where somebody will treat her corpse with kindness. And barring all that, I just cannot imagine that Audrey wants to die. Death is scary! Audrey hardly faces the unknown with a brave face. She’s no coward, but she’s certainly no Baldwin or Reynauld.

I love Audrey. She’s such a beautiful contradiction. She lies and schemes and steals and I think all of that boils down to a desire for control, and to prove to herself that she is in control of her life. She’s not a good person, though, and don’t take this as me trying to claim she is; I love her for her amorality so much. I want Audrey to be vile! But I love to understand why she may be this way. No justification here. I want her to be worse.

[1moreff-creator]

FF, considering that the end of Chapter 2 seems to be setting up the already prevalent theme of Fate and Choice to take centre stage in Chapter 3 (like how the theme of Trust was the focus of CH1, and the theme of Change was the focus of CH2), I wonder Do you have any predictions for Chapter 3? Where you think most of the characters will go from here, who you think might be the next to kick the bucket, and how you think it will tie into Teruko's own story (the next step of which, I predict, will be her making a decision on whether she's going to allow herself to make friendships with the rest of the cast even with the fear that they will abandon or die on her always in the back of her mind, or to let her fears control her and make her isolate herself further out of fear that she will result in them getting hurt because of her fated bad luck. But I'd also love to hear your thoughts on that :D)

Hey! Predictions, huh? Well, I'm not the best when it comes to guesswork, so this isn't going to be, like, my deepest post or anything, but it's still interesting to think about!

Spoilers for DRDT CH2

So now that we've made it past Read More: Yeah I have no idea.

You see, there's literally infinite ways for the story to progress past this point, and there comes a point where "what I think will happen" would be completely indistinguishable from "how I would write the rest of the story." And while that in itself is interesting to explore, I'm not the dev, so I'll save both your and my time by avoiding any completely unfounded predictions. That means that the fate of most characters, the arcs they will go through, the themes which will be explored, among many other things, are things that I have almost no genuine strong predictions, at least in regards to CH4 and beyond.

In terms of CH3, though, I do agree that the theme of fate is the most likely to be the centerpiece, though like with CH2 and CH1 there will probably be a whole lot of themes that get explored. Not to mention that what someone considers the "main theme" of a chapter is highly subjective; I'd argue the themes of belief ("all that glitters is not gold") and morality ("a good person") are just as important to CH2 as the theme of change. I can't tell which themes will actually be explored, though, because again, no idea where the story could go.

To give some ideas, though, some themes that are already on the table apart from fate and trust and change are memory (Elliot, Rose's photographic memory, Whit forgetting her mom is dead for a moment when Rose says it, etc), family (Elliot again, Rose's family, J's mom, Levi's situation, the hypothetical Diana Chiem, Teruko's brother, Whit's mom again, why does half this cast has family issues, etc), idolization (David->Xander, Hu->Nico, Whit->His mom ("We tend to idolize the dead" in his quote), everyone->Mai (once we actually start talking about her), etc), past and future (Xander & Min (check pinned comments in Bonus Episodes), Hu and Veronika moving on from their past, Charles forgetting his, Rose feeling hopeless in the future due to mistakes in her past, Levi not caring about his past, Arturo not being able to fully move on from his past, etc), and everything else under the Sun. You see why making predictions is hard? There's too much shit going on, the writing's just too good.

What I can theorize on a bit more comfortably is who's gonna die in CH3.

It's Charles.

Honestly I don't even feel comfortable predicting a double murder in CH3; other than "it's a trope," there's no reason for me to believe it atm. And "it's a trope" isn't evidence.

With Charles, though, we do have "Charles pronounced dead at 3" from the prologue, and given Whit's track record, yeah it's curtains for chemist boy. I know some people think Charles dying is "too obvious" because of this line, but it only feels obvious to freaks like me who spend way too much time looking at these guys and who've rewatched the series several times. In particular, I believe he'll be poisoned by strychnine, given it was omitted from the custom weapons list, meaning only him and Teruko know about it, which could lead to interesting developments in the trial. This also means that the Elliot mystery would be explored in more depth in CH3, which could also be inferred from Yoidore Shirazu... existing already.

Other things which will likely get brought up are Whit's secret, Teruko's secret (then again, I have zero fucking clue what David's gonna do next), Hu's treatment of Nico, Hu and Vero's secrets, Veronika's reactions to Levi almost dying and Ace's execution, the Nico-Rose situation, Arturo (just, like, in general), etc. I feel like J's family and Eden's guilty feelings about Arei and Min might still have to wait, though it could come up. Look these chapters are long we could genuinely cover all of that and still bring up new threads for CH4 to explore.

As for future killer predictions... again, zero clue. But, you know that theory/observation that's been going around about the objects that show up at the end of CH1 and CH2 and Mai? That Mai has a jacket kinda sorta like Min and gloves like Ace?

Although this is an insane metric and I fully expect it to go wrong probably as soon as CH3, it is practically the only semi-theory we have that could point to future culprits. And since I'm an evidence-based theorist at heart, here's who I believe the killers might be based on the only (and craziest) metric we have. Feel free to ignore the Hail Mary guesses, I have no reasoning for them beyond Vibes.

Arturo - Ribbon (Hail Mary guess - CH4 killer)

Hu: Flowers (Note: Her secret quote plays into why I believe she may be a killer. I fully expect to be wrong on her particularly, and even if she is a killer, I expect her to kill on accident, which is sort of possible with strychnine. I doubt Hu would kill someone on purpose). Hail Mary guess - CH3 killer, no double murder?

Veronika: Hair tie. Hail Mary guess - CH5 killer, double murder?

It could also be Vero's shoes btw, they look similar enough to Mai's.

Rose's stockings are actually also similar to Mai's, but I can't imagine the object for her being stockings instead of, like, her hat or apron.

In fact, that's sort of a counterargument to this entire theory. Even if Vero or Hu are killers, I would expect their objects to be the triangle earring and the butterfly hair accessory respectively. In fact, I see Vero in particular as a victim more than a killer, so that should tell you how confident I am in these things.

Keeping in mind my survivor predictions (Teruko - J - Whit - Levi - Rose), which haven't really changed other than me now considering Levi a more likely survivor than Rose, that would leave the victims as Charles (genuine prediction: CH3), Eden (Hail Mary - CH5), David (Hail Mary - CH5 or CH4), and Nico (Hail Mary - CH4 or CH3). Again, the Hail Marys are purely vibes only and have no attached reasoning.

Finally, for mastermind, there's three people in particular that I find genuine contenders for MM spot, but that will have to wait for a separate, more in-depth post, since this thing does actually have evidence attached.

I hope that was enough to satisfy you! Thanks for the ask, it was fun to think about!

[fushiglow]

Gojō Satoru and Ryōmen Sukuna: symbols of celebrity?

What does it say about Jujutsu Kaisen's influence and popularity that it could convince the two leading national newspapers in Japan — rivals and competitors — to run a joint marketing campaign where readers must buy both papers to complete the set?

The attention to detail is incredible, too! Asahi — Sukuna's paper — is one of the oldest in Japan. Meanwhile Yomiuri — Gojō's paper — has the largest newspaper circulation in the world. Such a brilliant way to illustrate "the strongest sorcerer in history vs the strongest sorcerer of today" in promotion of the new volume. Extra points for the fact that the two newspapers have opposing political leanings, too.

I'm really fascinated by this — so, some thoughts on celebrity and the fourth wall in Jujutsu Kaisen below the cut!

One of the things I love most about this series is how self-aware it is at times. I feel like Gege Akutami is quite purposeful is how he uses his characters to speak directly to the audience, especially in recent chapters. Along with the 'tickets' for Mei Mei's livestream and the promotional video that's reminiscent of a wrestling announcer bigging up the event, the entire campaign for the release of volume 25 feels like it's breaking the fourth wall in a way that's perfect for Jujutsu Kaisen.

It also makes me even more hopeful that 'The Battle of the Strongest' is going to be a film, if only for the meta effect of the audience 'purchasing tickets for the livestream'. Imagine if they market it so you feel like you're actually paying to watch this fight between two gods unfolding in real-time on the other side of the world? Considering how successful the first one was, I have no doubt the film would perform incredibly in the box office too, further adding to the meta effect.

The potential for hype is enormous and I actually feel like they won't disappoint, simply because Gojō is too much of a money-maker — look at the DVD sales drop off from the Hidden Inventory arc. I know I bang on about the chapter all the time, but this is spawning all kinds of additional thoughts to my analysis of Gojō in 236, especially regarding how he's written as this almost unknowable character.

I feel like Akutami's interest in the dark side of the entertainment industry actually shines through in Gojō the most out of all his characters, because he's practically a celebrity both in-universe and out — people made an actual shrine for this character when he died, as though he's the People's Princess or something!

Everyone knows who he is, but no one knows who he *really* is. He's beautiful and isolated and powerful and lonely, and it makes absolute sense that he sought understanding from Sukuna, because he's kind of like the blueprint for Gojō — a legend about whom everyone has a story, but no one really knows anything at all.

I promise I didn't make this post just to plug my fic, but it's a neat little coincidence that the precarious power dynamic between celebrities and the general public is a big theme in the most recent chapter of my idol fic, Over the Threshold. The reason I started writing a music AU in the first place is because this topic is something I have a personal and academic interest in, and the parallels between the 'strongest' and a music industry legend are simply too good to ignore.

Perhaps it's because it's on my mind as I'm writing the fic, but the marketing for the new volume got me thinking about the symbiotic relationship between artists and their fans, and I'm wondering if Gege is going to bring this into play somehow. Could it have something to do with the source of Sukuna's strength and therefore the key to beating him? Conversely, could it have something to do with the loss of Gojō's strength if he returns without it, making his death a symbolic death of celebrity instead?

I love the idea of the death of the 'strongest sorcerer' (the celebrity) bringing down the veil that separates him from the people around him (the public), allowing them to see Gojō Satoru for the very first time. No longer 'the strongest' or the Six Eyes or the one-man Gojō clan — not a symbol or a power ceiling or a weapon or anything like that — but simply a person, which is all he really is at the end of the day.

Am I coping by twisting myself into knots hoping that Jujutsu Kaisen is about the deconstruction of celebrity? Maybe, but at least I'm coping in a very smart and sexy way!

Just kidding, I'm still undecided about whether I think a Gojō comeback is likely. However, I completely disagree with people who say his character arc is finished or there's no space in the narrative for his return. I also disagree with those who say there's no evidence for it, because I think if it happened it would seem incredibly obvious in hindsight. It's a bit like Sukuna taking over Megumi — very few people saw it coming at the time, but when you look back, the clues were sprinkled all over the place.

Time will tell, but this story is really special to me whatever happens in the end. We all love to shit on Gege Akutami — and sure, he's not a perfect writer and I don't like a lot of his decisions — but when he gets it right, it's genius level stuff. Considering how overworked and commodified and exploited mangakas are, I think he deserves a lot more credit for the stories and characters he's weaving, and his art has never looked better if you ask me.

Anyway, I rambled a bit at the end, but here's my idol fic if you want to deconstruct Gojō as a celebrity some more. It's *so much* fun, I promise!! Did I make this post just to plug my fic after all? You can decide.

[meltran]

further elaboration on the tragedy of super dimension fortress macross and lynn minmay

watching macross for the first time and basically knowing what everyone said the themes of the whole franchise were (music and love as an alternative to the violence of war) i was, honestly, baffled - because i wasn't sure how the story i was watching could possibly lead to such an optimistic conclusion

for the majority of its runtime i think the original macross series hits mostly as a tragedy. to the point that the ending isn't really a reversal of this, but just a moment where the show happens to end

a LOT of macross is borrowed from ideon, which famously is a tragedy. so many plot points are copied directly - the militaristic alien race which is actually identical to humans as both spawn from the same ancient technology, the orphaned space colonists whose ship is shockingly barred from returning to earth, the baby whose existence proves the potential for a union between the races (with the same hair color even), the mecha accidentally overloading and instantly wiping out a whole city. they do share a major scriptwriter; the word "IDEON" also appears on a screen at one point

the character arcs, too, felt like tragedies, people pushed in opposite directions by circumstance and resigning to their fates. minmay herself tells hikaru, who is very anti-military, to join the military; hikaru joins the military, sees kakizaki die, and hangs up on minmay when she calls him because he is simply completely unable to relate to her anymore, despite having done everything for her. he went this direction out of love for minmay, but has a dream that suggests that, due to the experiences MINMAY pushed him towards, he is resigned to only be comfortable with a military woman like misa now - to which i can only respond so that's bad, right? so that's bad, right? it's bad that that happened to hikaru, right...?

but when i looked into how fandom talked about this, and how the rest of the franchise went ... it became clear that this was just seen as a "love triangle", and in fact one in which hikaru "ending up with" misa is the "favorable conclusion" to fans (and the writers apparently), instead of a tragedy involving all three characters as protagonists

but, again... the show is written as a tragedy like that. and so we have to talk about lynn minmay... perhaps it's robotech's influence here, but the idea that people see her as "immature" and a flawed character who has to grow up is kind of absolutely bonkers. yes, she's immature, but also, she was made the commodified celebrity idol of an entire isolated community at a young age and also - and this is key - is literally being groomed by her older cousin on-screen without any abstraction or it being played as alright or whatever

it is surreal to me that the reason people hate kaifun is because he is whiny about the military or "is a jerk" or something. what happens on screen is completely unambiguous. he is insidious and realistic in his actions. frankly it's a clear prototype for utena (in the post-timeskip eps he has the autonomy of Having A Car).

and then, also in the post-timeskip eps, he just ... drops minmay and disappears into history (until he does more scuzzy stuff in the liner notes to fire bomber american and then disappears again). she has been totally broken down over the last few years and now has nothing. so she goes to hikaru, the person she was almost close with once

and after a few eps of back and forth love triangle nonsense hikaru and misa are like well we're together now and you have to go build a life entirely on your own starting from zero. and she's like oh ok! and leaves. does she even have a house at this point?? i dont think so??? and then the show ends????

its such a random place to end for me. the show could've ended a few eps earlier or gone on for another few. hikaru "choosing" misa is not a meaningful statement at that point because he's gone back and forth between misa and minmay for many episodes at this point. also hikaru and misa could break up later anyway, it doesnt really feel like an ending to me

it felt like minmay had the roughest life ever and the narrative wasn't sure how to frame that by the end, despite being actually VERY critical of the idol industry up to that point (this is NOT a pro-idol show tbh)

i think if hideaki anno did Shin Macross he would make a version of this story that is actually about her

perhaps this sounds critical of the show. not really, i think most of it was perfect - when they try and do a space war fight but both sides are taking action to defuse the very concept of a gundam space war scene and the generals have no choice but to go okay i guess we're just not doing this anymore!, that was completely genius. and then time skipping shortly after that to show all the political and interpersonal issues resulting from the decisions that could've been an ending, we're back into the feelings of tragedy...

it's just, from the beginning i thought, how could this end up as Macross, the franchise i've heard of? and it basically didn't! it just ends. not on an ending that emphasizes the tragedy that is the whole narrative, but not on a happy ending either. and i think its because shoji kawamori is more of a "normal person" compared to tomino et al

[andromedastellarreviews]

Boys Abyss - How to create a sloppy masterpiece: Stellar Reviews #1

So, hey everyone that is reading this.

My name's Maria as you can guess by my bio but some kind of introduction is necessary. I'm a regular office worker that you can pass by on the streets with a normal name. But my sharp tongue is getting me often in trouble. And this series is about reviews but generally about everything that is connected to culture: books, music, manga or comic (even webtoon) or sometimes webnovels.

Without further delaying, let's get down to business.

Story premise:

The story tells us about Reiji Kurose, a 17 y.o teenager that doesn't how much of a hobby (if reading manga or watching idol concerts counts) or friends. He doesn't have any grand goals or ambitions as he's convinced that he'll never escape the town he lives in.

With a complicated family situation and poverty, Rei (short for Reiji) works after school in a convienient store, where one day he meets his favorite idol from the Acrylic idol group - Nagi Aoe. After Gen bullies him in the first few chapters, the two make a pact - a double suicide.

SPOILER ALERT!

Characters:

The story premise sounds edgy, right? Well I'm not surprised by this reaction because I thought this way too when I read the very first chapters of this manga. It did end not so long ago but a week ago I finally finished reading this. The premise doesn't sound convincing but trust me - its a long ride, deep in the abyss. Yeah, this manga is really unhinged. But first things first - characters.

Reiji Kurose - The MC

Reiji or Rei (sorry guys it's so hard for me to pronounce it, so I'm going with Rei instead) is a really frustrating character but I get why. His character had to be this way as he basically is hollow and staled. He is just so exhausted which goes along with his traumatic backstory.

His mother's manipulation is what created him the way he is which Gen rightfully points out - Rei mostly suffers because Yuuko (his mom) made him so nauseously depended on her. His personality doesn't progress much besides saying to Yuuko that he hates her - with the time skip, his isolation and exhaustion reached the top. He just wants to end it (my impressions).

However we don't if he's alive, however manga implies that he didn't jump with Nagi Aoe - and I'm content with that, as I hope that he did escape the abyss, the pithole of emptiness and constant exhaustion with life.

Nagi Aoe

Nagi Aoe is an idol from the Acrylic group, Rei's favorite idol group. However one day, when he goes to work at the convienient store he finds out that Nagi is going to be his co - worker. And yes, with her Rei made this suicide pact thing.

Nagi for the most of the story is really hollow and apathetic - she doesn't really express emotions, except when she's locked up by Shiba. Nagi goes with the flow, without a goal in mind - sounds familiar, right? That's because Nagi instantly recongnizes Rei's abyss with ease. They are many similarities between her and Reiji and that's not all.

However I'm not a fan of her character - I know that she's a byproduct of her disturbing past but her apathy is what drives me away from her character - sadly the author didn't really adress well her nihilistic state of mind and the reason behind her intent to die with someone (that's her only goal).

However despite all those things, she and Reiji are made for each other - we can only suspect that Nagi ended up with Rei but there's no confirmation whatsoever (but there's a high posibility).

Gen Minegishi

Gen is a character that made a quite a flip throughout story and rose to become my favorite character in this manga (Reiji was out of the question). He starts as a typical bully but his character development and revelation behind the murder made me feel for him.

His past is closely connected to Yuko, Reiji's mom - and what she did to him is really disturbing. I think what was really messed up is that Yuko forced him to kill Reiji's (technically) stepdad - Yuko and Reiji (partially) were responsible for his misery, which is no surprise that Gen turned out the way he did.

His arc has a good end and his last conversation with Rei was really well done and heartwarming despite the dark theme of this story. He participated unwilingly in this whole shitshow but in the last chapter Gen's story has a happy ending, mostly by having Chako by his side and distancing himself from Reiji who was partially responsible for his trauma.

And now that I mentioned Chaco, let's start with her character

Chako

Chako's (or Sakuko's) story is really disturbing one, by being eaten from inside because of her controlling parents and onesided love for Reiji. Chako was a character that is introduced as Rei's best and only friend and they spent time reading manga's and watching Acrylic idol group. I'm not one of the fans that hate Chako because her story really spirales down.

Chako is eaten away by her one sided love for Reiji and her controlling family and ends up developing an eating disorder. She becomes slim and apathetic just like Nagi to please Reiji and made him fall for her - when that attempt fails, she spirales down even deeper into the abyss.

After arriving at Tokyo, which was her dream destination, Chako almost ends up dead by trying made Rei fall for her. Mostly thanks to Shinooka made her come to her senses - Chako's story does have a happy ending - living Tokyo without her eating disorder. Chako's story was written well because of how relatable her circumstances are - anyone who had controlling parents can to relate to her and I'm happy that she does have her happy ending. Now onto the next one - Esemori.

Kosaku Esemori

If anything, I will spend the least time about Esemori - his past as many other characters is awful and it's no wonder that he turned out the way he did. Most of the tragedies that follow him are because of Yuko - his siren (just like Nagi for Rei). His past is also closely connected Shinooka (I don't how to write her name, sorry) but he's also a very flawed character, a morally gray one.

While I think that pairing together Nagi and Rei for his last story is messed up but he's a broken person. His upbringing didn't leave him well mentally and add to that mess Yuko and Uryu situation...well you get the point.

His ending was meh - As I said I'm not a fan of his character but I don't dislike him as for example Shiba and Yuko. He wasn't a plain character but the revelation that he is Rei's dad I think ruined his character a bit. And now, Kazumasa now that I want to cover Rei's family.

Kazumasa (sorry folks I couldn't get his full art)

Kazu is also a character that made a quite a flip throughout story. He's introduced as a shut in Rei's older brother that constantly screams at his family but then everything fliped. He's one of very few character that doesn't have an ulterior motive - and yes, again the one at fault for his trauma is Yuko.

While I would love the brother bond, the revelation that he isn't a related to Yuko made me feel at ease. He won't pass on this cursed generational trauma by not being blood related to Kurose family which is fine. But the point is that Yuko made him the way he is.

He left the story earlier by moving out to his biological relatives leaving behind this shitshow which made me glad - I'm not a fan of his character but his arc ended pretty well, despite being dissappearing from the story quite early. Also I can't imagine how his mental state after living in constant fear due to Yuko's manipulation. Now, onto Yuko.

Yuko Kurose

While I hate Yuko is a person, as a character she's actually well written. Her story is downspiral due to being a victim of generational trauma that she would pass onto Reiji, her son if he didn't break the cycle. Her parents are trash and her mother (yep the same one with dementia) is also a piece of shit. The parents were responsible for Yuko's downfall.

But it doesn't just erase her sins and the mess she did. The worst stuff? Well I think Reiji is the primarly example of her sins and what she did - Rei was so dependent on her that he couldn't let her go, thinking that he's selfish by leaving the town and his mom. What else? For example forcing Gen to kill Rei's dad (not a biological one) by playing a role of a weak mother. Another example - telling Reiji's (not a real one) dad that Rei isn't his, resulting in Reiji's physical abuse.

Yuko is psychopath but her story is a tragedy due to that theme of story repeating itself and generational trauma. Her ending is fine for me but it didn't leave me fully satisfied. I really need that kind of closure of her story. And now the last character - Shiba.

Yuri Shibasawa

Shiba is a character that I hate the most - her downspiral is written sloppily which also made me disgusted of her - she's a sociopath that uses and ruins others to get what she wants. And what she wants is Reiji - and she's willing to ruin everyone's lives to get to that - an example? Chako. And yes, her character theme is grooming but taken to the extremes.

What is surprising about her is that we don't get any sad backstory from her childhood. Her parents aren't the best but they are not horrible like for example, Yuko's parents. She's just sociopathic teacher that got attracted to teenage boy. YES, 17 Y.O HIGH SCHOOLER.

I don't much to say about her besides that she's a groomer and a messed up sociopath, taking what she desires by any means necessary.

My review:

Boy's Abyss is a masterpiece but sadly sloppily written - I think the series ended the way it did because Minenami got tired of this story and I don't blame him. The dark themes of the plot are sometimes really exhausting so I can't imagine how tiring it was for the author. And yeah it was released weekly, so it speaks for itself.

My rating: 7,5/10

Thank for reading guys!

[ironfloret]

something something kieran growing up feeling like somewhat of an outcast likely because of how shy he is, finding it difficult to make close friends outside of his family (and even then his sister doesn't always treat him very well despite her good intentions), and relating to and idolizing the ogre as a result for her strength despite being ostracized....when you're really lonely you can become quite dependent on just the idea of a figure like that.

of course, he does eventually make a friend: you! and at first he's overjoyed, but only all the more heartbroken when he finds out that you're lying to him and you really have a low opinion of him like everyone else....which isn't true, there are actually plenty of people who like him. but it can be hard to see that when your opinion of yourself isn't great to begin with. then to top it off, he meets the idol that he's held so close to his heart for his whole life, but she ends up disregarding him for someone else: the same person who'd already betrayed him once not long ago. it's almost cosmically cruel and in that moment probably felt like further justification for his own self-loathing.

it's only natural he'd break after finally getting his hopes up multiple times in such quick succession, only for them to be dashed just as swiftly. the pain is too much and he shuts down, isolates, and desperately fixates on one thing that has always brought him joy: battling. but his mental state as a result of all this warps his perception of that, too....he conflates it with his jealousy towards you and strives only to overcome you, in the process forgetting what it was about battling that he always loved. he was never able to beat you, but maybe if he can, the pain will go away. maybe if he can prove that he's better than you in this one respect, he'll hate himself a little bit less.

in the end, while he does get stronger, his obsession mainly just serves to make others worry for him. but he can't bring himself to acknowledge that at this point; relationships are always at the heart of what's hurt him the most, after all. best to just shut everyone out to protect himself. after continuing on like this for a while, he does get his chance to prove himself against you, but ultimately....he fails. how is that possible? after sacrificing so much, after striving to the exclusion of all else....it still doesn't quite get through to him why things haven't changed.

this culminates in one final act of desperation and critical frustration, to justify that all of this hasn't been for nothing. but once again, this backfires in the worst possible way, and he's at a loss. in this moment of crisis he's all at once forced to engage with the reality that nobody ever thought of him as poorly as he did--that others want to, need to rely on him, and want to support him despite his flaws. that they truly care about him, even after all the trouble he's caused, nearly to the point of putting their lives at risk. it all comes crashing down, and he cries. and after all is said and done, he hopes you can still be friends....for real this time, without imposing his opinion of himself on you. even if he's not the strongest, or the most social, or the most confident. he knows now that he's loved, all the same.

[sunsickdream]

i accidently deleted this while trying to reply to it bc there was a stupid text limit and i tried to delete my own reply but thanks for misunderstanding me, because it gives me a chance to clear this misconception up for anyone else that happens to be curious. imagine making assumptions about my beliefs while hidden behind anonymity, not bothering to even ask me personally or treat me like a human being. but i forgive you because you didn't know, you're a human being also. i was in the c-bine / tcc community as a misplaced teenager a long time ago, looking for belonging. i am not in that side of the community because i'm no longer a teenager, my brain developed. i have never identified as a c-biner or condoned crime. but i am unashamed of my past association with c-bine because i know my heart has always been in the right place, by being in that community i have gained a profound amount of insight and amazing friends. i've experienced loss related to it and have done much self reflection as to why i felt so taken by it. i am so passionate about the sociology behind sh**tings and su1cides, collecting books on why they happen and preventing them, because i've been in that position myself and lost people to it. i've written pages upon pages on this topic alone that i will soon be publishing. i am passionate about preventing loss of life and changing the culture that leads people down these paths. just because c-bine related things are mentioned on my site doesn't mean i stereotypically want to fuck dylan and eric and i think everyone who died there deserved to die. that's a very bad basis for an assumption like this. not every adult with an interest in c-bine is apathetic, immature and cruel. i've never even aligned with that pov and good luck finding proof that i ever have. couldn't be further from the truth. you're exactly right, i'm an adult not a teenager. 22 now. my thoughts on it have evolved so far beyond that stereotype of c-biners and you're misinformed to assume that's my viewpoint on it, to shun me purely for the fact i have the interest in it as an adult when i have important things to say about it, something to actually contribute with my ADULT BRAIN. anyway, the cultural impacts that created c-bine extend so much further into adulthood than many seem to realize, and it's not just c-bine. sh00tings happen everywhere, in workplaces with adults especially. workplaces are extensions of schools. su1cides happen well into adulthood, even into old age. many mass4cres perpetrated BY adults have been inspired by c-bine and other sh00tings with the same sentiments. it's funny you say this actually because my next entry is about this exact topic and my experience with it growing up and coming out the other side alive, a point of view that people are often shamed into being silent about, like you're trying to do here. what a synchronicity. (: hopefully after you read it you may change your mind about me, be willing to see me for the person i actually am instead of whatever you've created in your head from bits and pieces i've posted. i'm multifaceted and conscious, just like you. c-biners/extreme tcc people who condone aren't anywhere near my circle, but i would still listen to them and understand them, try to help them through the pain that lead them to having that perspective. because shunning them pushes them further into shame and isolation and destruction. which can only mean more death. read Going Postal by Mark Ames (pdf linked on my review page) if you're actually interested in this topic and want to know why people end up idolizing c-bine instead of shitting yourself about something that isn't even true in my guestbook! i want to actually make change in society and am actively taking steps to help do that and prevent people from going down that path! and already have! <3

[sarangbe]

he hears what hangyeol says, and he agrees with a lot of it, but he realizes, yet again, that it's hard for someone who loves this lifestyle to comprehend when someone doesn't feel the same way. sarang had the same issue whenever he'd try and talk to ren about similar subjects. people who are passionate about the performing arts look at him as if he's insane for not pouring all of his heart into singing, dancing, and rapping, especially considering his circumstances, but it's genuinely something he cannot help.

sure, he may be perfectly cut out to be an idol—much to his chagrin, as of late—but that doesn't mean it's what he wants to be doing, that he cares about it on an especially deep level. no, to him, after he inevitably makes his début, it'll simply be a job, a means to an end, but admitting to that to certain people isn't a good idea.

he knows that now.

the fact that he's yet to meet another person who feels the same way makes him feel genuinely quite crazy, like he's purposefully excluding himself from the small community of his peers who are in the same boat. while he should be feeling comforted by everyone's presence and encouragement, he can't help but feel further isolated by them. it's difficult to feel lonely in what appears to be a crowded room, but at this point, it's a feeling that sarang needs to learn to accept. in his mind, that's the easiest way to cope. at least for right now.

"mmm," he hums back in response, not really knowing what to say just yet... which is rare for him. though, when that teensy ounce of shade is jabbed into his side, his gaze narrows in on hangyeol. "well, if i'm faced with a silver platter and a handsome man is one of the many options, that's what i'm going to choose." he's honest, even if his tone is teasing. "nothing else intrigues me, as sad as that is. even dancing is becoming something that i'm just... i just don't really care."

he hates whenever he lets his negative emotions get the better of him. most people enjoy the fact that he carries around the warmth of the sun, bathing other people in it whenever they get close, so when he's unable to muster up enough shine to share with others, he feels like a failure somehow. "i'm starting to think that i should just suck it up and keep my head down, like i'm expected to, even if it's crushing. there's no one else to blame for my predicament but myself. i'm the one who chose to go on 'next gen' in the first place."

pausing, he sighs; tapping the screen of his phone to check the time. once confirming, he removes his face mask, then gently pats the remaining product into his skin. "how have you been doing though? like, outside of axis?" his question is sincere, he knows hangyeol's been going through a lot himself. "you doing okay?"

there is a cognitive dissonance hangyeol faces now, on the daily, of being ecstatic at the opportunity to achieve a once-buried dream of idoldom butting heads with the stalactite of heartache that lodged itself in his chest the minute he knew yejun was on a plane taking him across an ocean. he knows, feels in his bones, how lucky he is to see his talent and perseverance pay off in such a tangible way, of getting to wake up bright and early every morning to cart himself through shiny glass doors onto freshly waxed floors and spend uninterrupted hours honing himself into the best performer he can be. and at the same time there is the chill of an empty bed looming over him and the dread that sets itself in his bones every time he walks home after practice because he might, at any moment, encounter his ex.

hangyeol can't help but wonder if things might've been different if yejun had been offered a contract alongside him. would yejun have found happiness in pursuing his dreams at delta or sr? they would have been lucky to have him, his talents lying dormant and coy behind an eggshell that only hangyeol had managed to penetrate so far. but fixating on that what-if for too long only serves to worsen the icy pang behind his ribs, and he can't afford to allow that feeling to last for too long. after all, he's not the only one relying on his own steadfast determination staying intact.

"hmm?" he glances up from his aimless instagram scrolling, lips pursed curiously, surprised by sarang's sudden inquiry. it certainly seems more intense than their normal conversations about everything and nothing, all of the things they have in common and all of the things they soon will.

"mmm," he hums again, this time with brow furrowed in thought, then sets his phone aside to give his labelmate his full attention.

"i think," begins his naturally caring, almost mentoring tone, as he settles against sarang's extra bed cushions and lightly taps a flap of the face mask to adhere to the tip of his nose, "lee nayoung has a lot of strong opinions that ultimately have nothing to do with you."

he knows that's not the main point of sarang's loaded question--sarang has expressed similar concerns in the past, hasn't shied away from how he really feels about his place in sr or his goals as a trainee--but it feels important to address as much outright.

"i don't think you're ungrateful or selfish," he continues, reaching down to gently move a piece of sarang's fringe away from sticking to his mask, "maybe a little misguided..."

he smiles warmly, so his friend knows he is only joking, before adding sincerely, "you've put yourself in a good position for what you want out of it all, and you've made yourself a valuable asset in the process. i think now that you're in such a secure spot, you have to learn how to find your own pleasures in it. if somebody handed you the world on a silver platter, would you look at it and go 'hm, i'm bored'? or would you find something new and exciting in it you've never seen before?

"and before you ask," a rapid addendum framed with a knowing smile, "i don't mean going and flirting with every man in the company until you find a new favorite."

[divinemackerel]

Amphi if fundy DID start growing horns like how you were thinking abt what would his reaction to em be? (Im assuming they’d start becoming a little too noticeable to ignore by around nlm)

To be honest, I think his reaction would be like- panic. Not fear, but panic. A lot of my thoughts about cFundy aren’t super- I don’t know how to put them into words but I think he does have an unhealthy attachment to Schlatt, as a person and as an idol, but having that visualized or having a connect between him and Schlatt visualized makes him uncomfortable, especially with how everyone fucking hates Schlatt (I mean, just look at his funeral lol).

I think it would push Fundy further into self isolating because he would assume when people are staring at him, they’re thinking the worst.

I also think he would at first try to hide his horns under his hat but then they grow past it and curl around his head like ram horns and his old helmets don’t fit on right anymore and it just makes him feel even more frantic.

I think he and Tubbo both develop this awful feeling that whenever someone looks at them they’re likening them to Schlatt, and it’d just be another way they’re connected (BECAUSE THEY ARE I NEED PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND HOW TUBBO AND FUNDY ARE TWO LIKE- THEY WALK HAVE GONE THROUGH SO MUCH OF THE SAME SHIT, it literally makes me insane /neg and /pos but also pisses me off bc imo it leads to Fundy getting totally sidelined at times bc Tubbo is one of the fandom favs. Tubbo and Fundy have such potential but its like- only in fanon at this point sadly.)

They never talk about it though, and I think at some point Fundy tries to like- get rid of the horns, but like every other thing he has at that point that he’s accidentally picked up from people (you could really have fun with that hc tbh, i love it sm, great way to visual also him feeling like shit is making him outcast or whatever, idk how to word it) they’re too much a part of him, too long to saw back without it being painful.

I don’t think he accepts it as part of himself though (he shouldn’t), but one day the annoyance just becomes background noise, along with everything else.

I think if Fundy ever got over his unhealthy attachments and stuff, the parts he’s picked up would disappear, but he’d always be a fox guy.

[animehouse-moe]

My Special One Volume 2: The Fakeout

So, for those that have read volume 1, I'm sure (like me) you would have though this was going to be a fun and campy shoujo manga that plays with the typical tropes that appear to many readers. Well, Koda sensei doesn't seem to want that to be the case as we hit a huge switch-up and enter some really fresh and unique territory with the volume.

Similar to the first volume however, we still get a lot of that high octane comedy that derives itself from Sahoko's personality. There's not really much in the way of gags or visual effects for the comedy, so instead we're left with character acting and dialogue, which presents just the right amount of comedy for this volume, with things like using her glasses to convey emotion.

Admittedly, a decent bit of it can be oddly convenient, as in just how some of the plot develops (like this following image), but within the framing of camp it's rather negligible. The one thing I did hope for with this volume that we didn't get though, was more of Sahako's friend. School hasn't really been the main focus obviously, but I was at the least hoping to see a phone call or some texts or something.

Anyways, cutting to the heart of it, I really liked the distance that was kept between Sahako and Kouta through the start of this volume. Sahako isn't giving up on her feelings, but she knows where she stands with Kouta. It produces this interesting dynamic of Sahako's passion for Kouta as both an idol as a person are able to work their way under his skin and provide proof that Sahako's feelings aren't superficial or tied to a specific aspect of his fame or celebrity status.

That distance that's still able to convey Sahako's passion really works wonders for how Kouta approaches her as a person. Not that he's immediately saying, "I've been such a fool! I can't believe I haven't cherished what's been in front of me all this time! Won't you give me another chance? Another opportunity to prove my undying love and dedication to you, Sahako?", but rather that he's able to appreciate and accept those aspects of Sahako openly. Plus, the interactions are just cut in general, like "Mr. Kirigaya".

And truthfully, the volume plants the buds of the flowers that will blossom by the end, right at the get go with this volume. It builds a steady climb upward until we reach our climax. Some might not be incredibly into the pacing of it overall, but a confession in volume 1, followed by drama and a resolution in volume 2? I'm all for it considering the glacial pace that so many in this genre adhere to.

Anyways, to cut to the heart of things, it's a really great climb towards that peak with both Sahako and Kouta. They each learn their lessons along the way, namely that Kouta doesn't want just anyone, but that he wants someone that sees him as him. The cool and popular idol with an incredibly soft and cute side behind closed doors. Someone that doesn't place expectations on him and allows him to exist as he is. It's a really hard thing to get across in words, but this sequence with Sahako looking to cheer on/cheer up Kouta encapsulates the core of it very well.

Of course, the peak is a ways off at this point, but from there it's a pretty simple thing to summarize, so I'll spare you the trouble. Rather, I'll dive into Kouta's character that he lays bare this volume.

In short, I think it's a really great angle to take with a high school boy. Expectations and desires weigh heavy on him, as he pursued stardom with his ill mother's happiness at his back, in turn causing him to almost shun her, and not be there when it matters most. As a high school boy without anyone really around him, he quickly internalizes that feeling and further isolates himself from his childhood friend. A spiral of self-deprecation ensues where history repeats itself with his friend. He cuts himself off, refuses the thought of having someone around him that will place a weight on him and continue this cycle once more.

It's so high school end of the world it's perfect, and Koda sensei understands that edge perfectly, working in a thread by witch Kouta holds on by. That little piece that allows him that relationship with Sahoko, and what keeps bringing the two back together. It's not like Kouta doesn't like Sahoko, he really does, and he wants to be together with her, but he struggles to face the reality of opening up to someone else again and finding away to live alongside someone.

It's really beautiful in that way, and presents a storyline that really injects some well needed emotion and development as a follow up to the first volume. It brings energy and drama, but doesn't dwell on either for too long and absolutely refuses to use it as a crutch to continue the story. It's a single facet of the many pieces that comprise where we're at at this point, and Koda sensei still has their gaze fixed on the horizon for what's to come.

I'd really love to say more on it, but I don't want to give everything away for this moment, or how it works within the story, so I'll just say it's really good, and provides an incredibly fresh and surprising twist to what can hardly be called a formula (anymore) that Koda sensei has been following.

So with that said, pick up this second volume. If you're a fan of you'll definitely enjoy this. If you enjoy campy and almost parody type material, you'll enjoy this. If you enjoy indulging in more cliché and tropey entertainment, you'll enjoy this.

One last thing, young Sahako who is incredibly cute.