#when you feel at home you are able to actually *learn* and develop and figure out what judaism looks like and *feels* like
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son-of-avraham · 6 months ago
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Can you talk more about how you decided to convert through conservative judaism over reform and what the process was like for you? I've been going to a reform shul for a while, to the point where I know everyone who regularly comes and I also love our rabbi. It almost feels like a second home, but I realized recently that I think I agree more with Conservative views on halacha and would prefer converting through that stream, but I also don't wanna leave all the nice people I've met so far, and also the nearest conservative shul is over an hour drive away :( I thought I'd just convert through reform anyways but maybe talk about keeping a conservative level of observance for my conversion, but I feel like it would be dishonest to convert reform if I don't agree with their fundamental views on halacha and such. It's hard thinking about leaving the community I love, but I also feel that I'd get more of what I personally want out of Judaism from a conservative conversion. Would really love some advice on navigating this if you're willing!!
I'll preface this by saying that this is included in my FAQ, so if you want to check that out, you might get more information that I might have forgotten to include here.
What I fundamentally believe people should do in the conversion process is to do what is accessible to them. If reform is accessible to you, I don't see why you would have to upend yourself and leave behind your pre-established community.
To me, movement means very little. If you've converted halachically (which reform absolutely can do and does), you've converted. You can be a reform jew who follows or believes in a myriad of things - I doubt a rabbi is going to say, "now, I want to convert you, but you don't believe only in the Reform Positions, so it looks like you can't be converted." If anything, a rabbi would be thrilled to hear what your positions are and why. It reminds me of my ITJ class where the presenting rabbi asked if we believed in g-d or not. She literally balked about how none of us voted "no." She was amazed.
I only decided to convert through the conservative movement because it was the most accessible to me. Nothing about the conversion process changed because I chose conservative - I'm still working with a rabbi, I'm still engaged with my community, and I will stand before a beit din and immerse in the mikvah. If I could let you in on a secret... If movement didn't matter to others, I wouldn't even put which movement I'm affiliated with on this blog.One of the most important things in jewish conversion and jewish life in general is having a community. It sounds like you've found that - it isn't dishonest to be in community and to just be yourself (yes, even if you disagree with some aspects of different practices - two jews, three opinions, anyone?). Plenty of people in my conservative shul are more frum than others, and some are less frum. Even within your own movement, your practices will look wildly different than other jews of the same movement. In actuality, we're all starting from more or less the same starting point which is judaism. You have a lifetime to explore the mitzvot and see how you will practice. Nothing about that is inherently dishonest or disingenuous.
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letsdosciencetoit · 2 months ago
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WIP - BuckTommy 5+1
Under promise and over deliver - Part 5 of 5 times the 118 worried about telling Buck that Tommy got married and one time they realized they didn't have to.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
5. Eddie
Eddie is quiet on the ride back to the station.  The call was routine, or as routine as a three alarm fire can be.  The building was empty when the fire started, and they get it under control.  The work is exhausting, but it isn’t hard.  Ravi is a good partner, and good at the job.  He’s been trained well, but they don’t have the years of experience working together on calls.  Buck always seemed to know what he needed before he needed it.
Seeing Tommy on the call has given him a lot to think about though.
He was wrong to cut off Tommy when he and Buck broke up.  Buck had never asked that of him, and he’d been friends with Tommy before the two of them had started dating.  Not for long, obviously, but long enough. 
His therapist has helped him realize that he lashes out and cuts people off when they don’t behave the way he expects they should.  It’s his salt and burn strategy to avoid dealing with any emotion other than anger or the uncomfortable conversations that need to happen. 
Learning that Ravi is still tight with Buck gives him even more to think about.
A two years ago, Eddie wouldn’t have been able to imagine a world where he and Buck weren’t best friends – brothers even.  Now he doesn’t know how to reach out to Buck now to apologize. 
It’s actually part of his therapy homework.  Identify the people he needs to make amends to so that they can figure out why he acted the way he did and develop better coping strategies.
Chris was the first person he held himself accountable for.  Therapy had been one of Chris’ conditions for moving back to LA with him.  They still go monthly, slowly working through the trauma of Shannon’s death, and their tumultuous relationship before that.
It’s helping. He feels lighter at home, and he’s doing well at work.  They’re settling into a new routine with Chimney as Captain at the station.  The only thing that’s missing is Buck.
At first he’d wanted to give Buck space to calm down. Eddie had made the grand gesture of bringing Chris back to LA, so they should be back to normal.  His therapist had pointed it he had the tendency to make grand gestures rather than apologizing or admitting what was wrong.
But then Buck had moved out, and then transferred stations, and then it was hard not to get his back up because it felt like Buck was punishing with his choices.  His therapist reminds him that he is not responsible for other peoples’ choices, and that their actions are not a reflection on him.
Now the space between them feels insurmountable, and Eddie knows that if he wants to repair it he has to make a meaningful apology and do the work. 
He just doesn’t know how to make the first step.
If they’d still been talking, he would have shown up at Buck’s place with a six pack of beers and just flat out told him Tommy had gotten married. Now he doesn’t even know where Buck lives, and that’s on him.
***9-1-1***
Eddie is sitting at the table, staring at his phone screen, when Chris gets home from school.  His little boy is already in high school.
“Hi Dad,” Chris greets him as he lets himself into the house.  Chris hangs up his bag, and makes his way past Eddie to the kitchen.  When Eddie doesn’t answer him, he turns back around and comes into the living room.  “Are you okay Dad?”
Eddie shakes his head, “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry Chris. Hi. How was your day?”
Chris just tilts his head to one side. “Reallly Dad?”
“Sorry buddy,” Eddie replies. “Just a lot on my mind right now. I’m seeing Dr. Medina again tomorrow.”
Nodding with understanding, Chris comes to sit next to his dad on the couch.  “Therapy homework?”
“Therapy homework,” Eddie acknowledges.  He sets his phone, face down on the table, and angles his body towards Chris.  “Say, you’ve been talking to Buck, right?”
“Yeah,” Chris answers hesitantly, like he’s worried he’s going to get in trouble for it.
“No, that’s good,” Eddie is quick to explain. “Does he seem happy right now? He’s not regretting the transfer?”
“I’m not your spy, Dad,” Chris huffs, rolling his eyes. 
Eddie thinks how he would have been reprimanded for talking back to his parents like that. Eddie doesn’t comment on it, because Chris has a point, and he wants his son to be comfortable enough to speak up.  “Sorry, Chris. You’re right. I just found out something at work today that made me think of him.”
“If you want to find out how he’s doing, maybe you should call him and ask him,” Chris explained to him with all of the wisdom of a 14 year old boy.
“No, you’re right kid,” Eddie agreed.  “I should call him.”
“Good talk dad,” Chris replied, before pushing himself to a stand.  “I’m going to do my homework, then log on with Katie and Alex to play Fortnight.”
Chris doesn’t wait for a response before going to his room and shutting the door.
Eddie picks up his phone and unlocks the messenger app.  He has to scroll down to find his last conversation with Buck.  He’s ashamed to see it’s his offer to pick up groceries.  Has he really not reached out to Buck since that awful night?
He’s too much of a coward to call Buck, but he does type out a message, putting the ball in Buck’s court.
Eddie: You have every right to not want to talk to me, or to be angry with me, but I owe you an apology, and I’d like to give it to you face to face.   You pick the time and place.
Eddie puts the phone face down on the coffee table again and goes to the kitchen to start dinner.  They don’t eat as well as when Buck was in the kitchen, but his regular Facetime cooking lessons in El Paso have helped and he’s able to feed his son without burning something nine times out of ten.
He doesn’t check his phone again until after they’ve eaten.  Buck hasn’t even read the message, but there’s a new unread message in the team’s group chat.  The same one they haven’t kicked Buck out of.
Buck: I know it’s short notice, but I’m having a house warming party on Saturday.
Buck: I checked with Maddie that you weren’t on shift.
Buck: Be there or be square 🤓
Buck: P.S. The only presents needed is your presence.  Seriously, I have too much stuff already.
Part 6a
Tag List: @fenrirscarsback, @gayjaytodd, @wiay04, @daughterofscotland, @thuperrah (I'm sorry if I missed anyone. I'm new to tag lists).
I'm brainstorming a follow up to this - 5 times Buck and Tommy almost spill the beans about their marriage + how they got back together.
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cute thought: Y/N doesn't meet the turtles first, she actually meets Master Splinter.
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Something happens.
The lair is attacked and, in the midst of the fight, Splinter is taken. Badly hurt, he still manages to escape his captors and wanders the city, calling out for his sons in his delirium before collapsing.
Which is how you found him.
Walking home one night, you heard something above the music in your earbuds...a weak, frightened voice of an old man, calling out for "his sons." Something crashes in an alleyway and you follow the sound.
Admittedly, seeing a giant rat was shocking.
But this is NYC and giant rats aren't too shocking, are they? Just another day in the city, TBH. And he's so scared and so hurt, mumbling names softly...and you can't turn your back on him. Luckily, you don't live too far and you're able to help him into your apartment.
There's no calling the cops or an ambulance, obviously, but luckily you have enough first aid knowledge to help him. It takes a few days of taking care of him until the rat wakes up completely, confused and worried as he tries to get up.
"Don't," you tell him softly as you come into the room. "Don't move too quickly, you'll hurt yourself."
"Where am I? Who...who are you?"
"I'm Y/N."
And that's how you before Splinter, as learn his name, taking care of him a little longer. He likes tea and soap operas and reminds you of your grandfather with his wisdom and wry sense of humor. It isn't long until he's gathered himself enough to figure out a way to contact his sons, the one's he told you about.
Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael.
They're exactly as he described them, Splinter smiling as soon as he heard movement on the rooftop, four absolutely giant turtles clambering in through the balcony window.
"Father!"
They're all around him at once, worried and trying not to cry (but definitely crying a little), Splinter comforting his boys and crying a little bit too.
And that was how you got tangled up in thier lives, befriending the father before befriending the sons.
◇ Little Things ◇
◇ You and Splinter like a lot of the same shows. Sometimes you watch together (particularly if it's a season finale or holiday special or something) but typically, you watch separately at your homes and then talk about it on the phone.
"I can't believe she tried to seduce Raul!"
"I can," Splinter scoffs.
◇ You have tea time together as well, and talk about everything going on in your lives. Even though you think your life is boring compared to his, Splinter disagrees. He's very interested in the typical life of a human, it seems so different from his.
◇ He will insist on you learning at least some basic self defense, especially in this city.
◇ When he realizes that one of his sons has developed feelings for you, Splinter is rooting for ot to happen so you can be his daughter-in-law.
◇ When it does happen, the other turtles like to joke that you're his favorite child sometimes.
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merriepy · 6 months ago
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DATING ACHERON!
•. Acheron x gn! Reader
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tags: headcanon, fluff (+ small angst)
cw: /
summary: A few headcanons about what your relationship with Acheron would look like!
a/n: I'm currently experimenting with new layouts/formats so please don't mind the new look! No third person pronouns used for the reader
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•. Acheron, an introverted and forgetful Galaxy Ranger who walks the cosmos on the path of Nihility. As her track intertwined with yours, she developed feelings long forgotten and buried - together with her distant memories of home.
•. Dating someone like Acheron would be quite an interesting experience. She's not your average romantic lover who showers you with kisses, but rather with hugs and gifts! Since she travels the cosmos a lot she knows that seeing you might be hard, since some destinations are too dangerous for you, or maybe you're not as nomadic and her and want to stay in one place. Acheron would 100% bring you little souvenirs that always align with your taste - whether it's new clothes that are rising in popularity on the planet she was just at or a little plushie of the regional animals. As for touches, I think she's someone who's just really casual about pda as in always holding your arm or waist, or leaning against you when she's exhausted. She loves to do that, her chin either resting on your shoulder or head depending on your height.
•. And of course, since she likes to spoil you, you'd do the same!! You'd always make sure to have peaches at home since it's her favourite food. When Acheron is actually home or you two get to rest during your travels, you'd always make sure to prepare peaches for her alongside breakfast to make her happy!
•. In return, Acheron would totally remember your favourite food and where to get the right ingredients for it. She even tried very hard to remember the way to your favourite takeout place, though she still gets lost from time to time. The embarrassment in her voice when she calls you, asking for you to pick her up and admitting that she wanted to treat you to a nice meal but doesn't know the way back home always makes you chuckle.
•. Acheron thinks a lot about your first meeting. She knows how she seems to others: cold, distant, maybe even dangerous. But you approached her, and gave her a chance. She would've never guessed you that two would become more than friends, and neither did you. But even after your first meeting where you two exchanged numbers you kept checking up on her, asking how she was doing, and offered so many times to be there for her if she needed someone to talk to. Of course, Acheron's struggles are far greater than that of average people and she was never completely honest with you about her backstory. She still isn't honest but how are you supposed to bring up something like her story? She just hopes you'll never hold it against her if you do figure it out eventually.
•. One thing she did tell you though was her actual name. You never wondered about it, if Acheron was her actual name or just a coverup. Even after she told you about it you felt weird to not call her Acheron anymore but rather Mei. You got around to it eventually and kept giving her nicknames like Mei-Mei, something she reacted very casually to.
•. I think domestic life with Acheron is chaotic. She isn't used to settling down anymore, not even for a short time. She'd also lose her belongings everywhere in the house because she forgot where she had put them. Cooking isn't one of her strengths as well but she's very willing to learn and she's actually able to become a great cook with enough practice!
•. She's really encouraging and always makes sure to tell you about how great you're doing and that she's proud of you. I think your relationship includes a lot of encouraging and praising from both sides (as it should be!).
•. Something you like to do that Acheron isn't aware of is to keep track of her make-up. She always carries it with her which sometimes leads to the makeup being damaged, so you like to replace or fix it, depending on the damage. She isn't aware that you're the one who replaces it: she thinks she did it herself but forgot.
•. Nights with her are beautiful, though not easy. She likes to get lost in your touch as the soft starlight illuminates the room, but her dreams are usually filled with terror - dreams of those who succumbed to her blade and of those who she couldn't save. Being with you doesn't get rid of the nightmares, as much as she would like to, but the comfort you give her is enough to calm down after the night has felt especially long.
•.Acheron, an introverted and forgetful Galaxy Ranger who walks the cosmos on the path of Nihility. As her track intertwined with yours, she developed feelings long forgotten and buried - together with her distant memories of home. But when she's with you, her heart feels lighter, the pain easier, and maybe - soon - she'll be able to heal under your grace before going on her last journey.•
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miryum · 5 months ago
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Pirate Captain!James Potter x Princess!Reader part 2 (pt 1, pt 1.5)
James wasn’t supposed to be on land. It was always too dangerous and anyways, the sea was his home. It felt odd to step off the swaying boat to solid earth, so he usually sent one of his crew members to re-supply or pick up a package. It was also safer because the chances of a price on his head was always high.
But there was always one exception to his rule: he liked to see nobility. Maybe it was because it gave him a peek of the high life. Maybe it was because secretly, he yearned for that cushy comfort and safety from the law. Maybe it was because he liked to see their ostentatious outfits.
He stood at the back of the crowd, Peter by his side, shifting nervously. Remus and Sirius were back at the rowboat, too conspicuous with Remus’ scars and Sirius’ long hair and tattooed arms. The rest of the crew was waiting safely on the ship, a ways out of shore.
James craned his neck, peering over the heads of people. It wasn’t long before the nobles came out and James’ eyes grew wide. The banners and the guards surrounding them could only mean one thing: royalty. These weren’t just any hoity-toity people of the court — this was the King, Queen, and their daughter. 
Oh, what a vision you were. If the rest of the world could just fall away to leave you two there, James would take it in a heartbeat. Even under the hot sun and with dozens of other people separating you, you looked magnificent. James’ lips parted and his cheeks flushed. Peter tugged on his sleeve, but James ignored him. “D’ya see her?” he murmured out. “She’s like heaven, isn’t she?”
“What? Who?” Peter looked around at the peasant girls, trying to see if any had caught his captain's eye. “The princess?!” he hissed out, seeing James’ stare fixed on the stage. 
James nodded in reply. “Bloody beautiful, she is.” His pupils were practically hearts. 
“Captain, we should be getting back,” Peter said as he noticed a ‘wanted’ poster with his captain’s profile on it.
Eventually, the smaller man was able to drag James away, but not even Sirius or Remus was immune to the blatherings and love sick declarations from their captain as they returned on the rowboat.
You had heard tales of prisoners falling for their captors. You were determined to not fall to the same fate, but you would be lying if you said the Marauders weren’t growing on you. 
Peter was a very sweet boy who was a surprisingly good cook. He had managed to coax you out of James’ quarters with a nice meal from the few non-perishable foods they had on board. Sirius cracked some amazing jokes and actually had some excellent fashion tips for the high seas. You learned how to tie a bandana so it held your hair up from your neck and how to clip your skirts up so the heat wasn’t stifling. And Remus was quite kind, regaling you with stories of pirating.
And James… he had given up his private room for you. He was bunking with the rest of his crew in hammocks just so you could have some privacy. Once Peter had gotten you out of the room, James had kept a safe distance from you, as if apologising for quite literally kidnapping you. Yet, he hovered. He was a dog that had finally met its master. He broke down the barriers in your mind of what a pirate was supposed to be. He was well-kept, with a tan from years under the sun and a strong, lean figure, though it was his hair that was a disaster in and of itself. Your mother would have had a nervous breakdown if she had seen the way the seasalt and wind tousled it and swept his curls into the air. Any girl would be crazy not to do a double-take. He was polite, knocking on his own cabin door every morning to see if you had suddenly changed your mind throughout the night and now was willing to let him love you. And when you refused and rejected him over and over, he took it in stride. Though that didn’t stop him from being persistent.
You would not develop feelings for this brute. Even if he had supplied you with the nicest silks from across the continent and was gazing down at you from his place at the wheel. You sat on the steps, reading one of his books. It wasn’t a windy day, so neither the pages nor your hair were in a flurry, but James’ heart surely was.
“Princess,” he called down. When you looked up at him, you saw his extended hand, an olive branch, hoping you would join him by the helm.
You stood and slowly took his hand. It was rough and calloused and nothing like your own. Yet your hand slid perfectly into his. 
James guided you up and stood you right in front of the wheel, his body behind yours. You could feel his chest brush against your back and his wide stance encapsulated yours. His voice in your ear whispered, “go on. Take it.”
“The- the wheel?” you asked.  Your hands instantly gripped the spokes of the wheel, it being a sudden lifeline. "What?"
"You're doing great already, love," he praised. His hands reached around your body and clasped the spokes just on either side of your hands. You felt oddly safe in his arms, not like he was caging you in like a prisoner, but like he was enveloping you in a hug.
"I can't drive the ship!" you exclaimed. Your eyes were wide and your knuckles turning white. "This- this is not something I was taught to do!"
"Love, I could tie a piece of rope and a stick to the wheel and everything would be fine," James reminded you. "Half of the time, we're only keeping half an eye on the helm."
You forced yourself to exhale. "I suppose you're right..."
"I am," he chuckled and you could feel the movement of his chest on your back. Your muscles tensed slightly, but when he allowed his thumb to brush over your hand, you found yourself relaxing.
The waves lapped gently on the hull of the boat and the sun shone down, briefly interspersed with some white, pure clouds. The air held a sweet tang of salt and was interrupted by a small laugh escaping your lips. James grinned and looked down at you, a rush of warm wind ruffling his loose blouse. "Are you enjoying yourself, Princess?"
"Surprisingly so," you muttered, craning your neck back to glance at him. His expression made heat rush to your cheeks and you quickly looked towards the front of the ship again. 
James made a pleased noise. “Enjoying piloting the ship, or enjoying being here with the Marauders?”
A cold dread filled you. Your hands flew off the wheel, like it burnt you, and James stepped back in surprise. “You alright, Princess?” 
You could not fall for James Potter. There were princes and dukes waiting for you on the mainland where he stole you from your life and parents. Were your feelings simply because there was no other commendable man around? Could you trust your heart? And not only that, but you were a princess, for goodness sakes. You couldn’t fall for a measly pirate. Where could this go? Absolutely nowhere. You would have to be returned to your parents at some point and you were sure if you demanded and pleaded long enough, James would give in. He seemed too sweet not to. 
You opened your mouth to excuse yourself from James, but then you remembered that you weren’t in court anymore. You hurried away, stumbling down the stairs to James’ cabin you now inhabited. 
“Princess!”
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You sat in the mess hall, trying to keep a straight face as Sirius told a story from a year or two back of when the Marauders had tangled with a rival pirate crew. He was standing on the table, epically acting out the tales of swashbuckling and the battle between ships.
A laugh bubbled from you as he pretended to take a stab at an enemy. From the other side of the table, James stared at you, beaming. “She’s brilliant, isn’t she?” he muttered to Peter. 
“I- I guess so?”
“Just wanna know everything about her,” James admitted, taking a gulp of his rum. He saw you lift your glass to your lips and take a tentative sip. Your nose wrinkled up and you coughed. James chuckled and leaned over to ask, “can’t handle your alcohol, love?”
You stuck your tongue out at him in a very un-princess-like manner and James’ grin grew. “Quite the opposite. I’m just not used to this type. It’s very… strong.”
“You’ll get used to it,” James promised, hair mussed like always. His eyes held a silent, loving vow.
You met his stare and you found yourself nodding slowly. “I’m sure I will, James.”
His heart fluttered at the sound of his name on your lips. “My father,” he found himself saying, “was a pirate. That’s how I came to be one. He was the nicest man alive and yet couldn’t find love. How could he when he was at sea?” Your eyes flicked to his eyes, noting the colour and depth. You took in the rest of his face – the curve of his cheek, the set of his jaw, the slope of his nose. He truly was a handsome pirate. “Then, while raiding a merchant ship, he met my mother,” James continued. “She was the daughter of a sailor. He was smitten, instantly.”
“Sounds like someone I know,” you commented. You took another sip of your drink.
James smirked, eyes sparkling with mirth, and kept with his tale. “He took her with him, along with my grandmother. However unorthodox, the method worked. She eventually fell in love with my father and they wed. Three years later, I was born.” 
“And set to repeat their love story!” Sirius crowed from atop the table. He was clearly drunk and Remus laughed joyfully at the little dance Sirius did.
Your eyes were still on James, though, and you couldn’t help but ask, “where are they now?”
“Living on an island with the rest of their families,” James said, nodding to the rest of the pirates. “It’s quite nice there. I’m sure you would like it.”
“I’m sure I will, James,” you whispered out, repeating yourself from before. “It sounds lovely.” 
“It is,” James said, eyes not leaving you.
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It was later that week, near midnight, when a knock sounded on your cabin door. You were awake, anxiety making your stomach twist into knots. “Yes?” you called out.
“It’s James,” the voice announced. “Uh, I was wondering if you… wanted to join me on deck.”
“It’s the middle of the night,” you pointed out, though you threw a shawl over your shoulders and moved towards his voice. 
Before he could counter your point, you opened the door hesitantly. James felt his mouth go dry but he refused to let his eyes wander. You looked so stunning standing there, his bed in the background with its sheets that you had been sleeping on. The stream of moonlight from the window hit you perfectly and he didn’t mind at all that you had stolen his quarters. In acute silence, he held out his hand. You took it.
Soon enough, you found yourself on the deck of the ship, in James’ arms, swaying to music that only existed in your minds. Your head rested on his chest and his arms held you securely. You couldn’t help but admit that this was the best dance you had had in years, even with the extravagant balls and glitzy dresses you were used to. But you couldn’t voice as such. 
“I truly am sorry,” James spoke into the night air. It was a bit cool and you were glad you had grabbed a shawl. The few lanterns on deck, coupled with the moon, were light enough. “Just say the word and I’ll turn this ship around. I… You can go back to your parents whenever you want, you know that, yes?”
“You’d be willing?” you asked quietly. “You claim you’re in love with me–” 
“I am,” he said with such certainty and quickness you thought you might get whiplash. He spun you around gracefully before tugging you back into his arms. You wondered where he learned to dance.
“You claim you’re in love with me,” you repeated. “So why would you be willing to let me go? Why not force me to stay with you?”
James looked down at you and you couldn’t decipher the look in his eyes. There was a melancholy stare that also seemed pitiful. “Have you never loved someone?” You shook your head and he continued in a soft tone, “you would do anything for them. Even if it meant sacrificing your own happiness, you would do it. I don’t think you realise how far I’d go for you, Y/n.”
“You didn’t know me before you kidnapped me,” you tried to reason. “You’re not in love with me.”
James let out a laugh and then pretended to look wounded. “You underestimate true love, my Princess,” he chuckled. “Do you not believe in fate?”
“Fate which you took into your own hands when you kidnapped me?”
“Touché.”
The pair of you fell into silence again. “You know,” James said after a long couple of minutes. “If it makes you feel better, it wasn’t by choice that I waited three years before meeting you officially. I got caught up in activities and other rivalries with kingdoms. And I didn’t want to storm your castle, potentially killing civilians and guards that didn’t need to be harmed. But Sirius and Remus can vouch for me – I never stopped speaking of you. I… I was concerned after a while, with how much you occupied my brain. I couldn't deny it after a while. I love you.”
The pirate spun you around and you let out a gasp, both at the words and sudden movement. Your nightgown twirled out around you and your shawl fell from your shoulders. James pulled you back close and his warm hand pressed against your back. “I wanted to knock on the door of your castle and ask for an audience with you, but I knew they wouldn’t let a pirate like me waltz in. Stealing you away, however cruel, seemed like the only option.”
“I can’t abandon my kingdom,” you managed to say. You couldn’t look him in the eye, but you could feel his shoulders drop slightly. You wanted to imagine that his jaw wasn’t set, that his lips weren’t drawn together, and that his eyes didn’t hold such sadness.
“I understand,” he muttered. “I don’t know why I thought any different. It was foolish of me to… to expect such a change of heart.”
“It’s not a matter of the heart,” you try to explain. “It’s duty to my kingdom and the love I have for my people and parents. I can’t leave them, James. I miss them. I don't know you well enough to leave my entire life behind. And I don't know if I want to. Life on the sea, James... It's been very nice, but what about the diseases? The lack of healthy food? Clothes? You have to steal for resources! I- I can’t do that, morally.”
James didn’t say anything for a while, though you felt his arms tighten around you. You had stopped dancing a while ago, now just being held in his arms. He dipped his head to rest on your hair, cheek pressed to you. “Okay,” he said finally. “I’ll take you back.”
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The next few days were silent. James had instructed Sirius to turn the ship around the morning after you shared a dance. Sirius didn’t say a word, just nodded. The capitan avoided you as his fleet sailed back, taking refuge in the crow’s nest or up by the sails. Peter shot you concerned looks all the while, making you feel more guilty than you had intended. 
Remus sat down next to you one day, much like he had after your kidnapping. “You’re making a mistake.” He didn’t mince his words. 
“No, I’m not,” you said firmly, staring out at the waves. 
“He’s in love with you. It’s not infatuation or anything of the sort. I know you don’t know much about him, and vice versa, but there’s something there, Princess.”
You shook your head. “It’s not a matter of feelings. I’ve said this to him and I’ll say it to you: pirating isn’t for me.”
“He would be willing to give up his ways if it meant being with you,” Remus said, hands clasped in front of him. 
Once again, your head moved side to side vehemently. “Remus, stop it. I’ve made my decision.”
Remus exhaled, but nodded, respecting your wishes. He stood and moved away, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the sinking of your heart.
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Taglist: @jasminesacademia
I've chosen I'm going to do like a, choose your own ending (whether happy or sad) because I'm getting very different asks and wants for the ending
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changingplumbob · 5 months ago
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First Round - Day four (Connor group)
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Dee: So this is the villa huh? Not too shabby
Berenice: do you think Joey will visit today
Kaye: *sighs* I hope not. Shouldn't you be more concerned about when Deanna will show up
Berenice: I can be concerned for both! I mean I am concerned for both. About both?
Nyami: Don't look at me, I didn't speak until I was five
Isla: That was a true fact?
Nyami: Yeah but I speak a bunch of languages now, I basically never stop talking
Isabella: Being able to speak more than one is so freeing I've found
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Dee: How'd you learn so many Nyami?
Nyami: I mean each tribe has a different dialect right? Learning all the differences made it easier to pick up completely different languages as well
Isabella: It might be a weird question but do you have one you like most?
Nyami: For sure! Bunny-Latin. Owhay areyay youyay oingday?
Wikihow on Pig-Latin rules
Unfortunately the Bunny-Latin was too much cringe for Isabella and Isla to handle. They went off to the hallway mirrors to try talk themselves out of their second hand embarrassment.
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Berenice: Watcher, Bunny-Latin clears people out faster than cast- cats, I mean cats
Kaye: Cats don't clear people out
Berenice sits awkwardly.
Kaye: I think I'm going to go grab lunch early
...
Nyami: I can be a bit much for some people
Berenice: oh, word. I mean, not you specifically - just word. Word for word. Uh, is anyone else having trouble with how to English?
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Dee: *laughs* You're too funny Bernie. Why are you even studying physics? You should do comedy
After a while Isla and Isabella rejoin the group, leaving Nyami happy she hasn't scarred them away forever. Kaye also bring her mid morning mac and cheese to the couches.
Berenice: It doesn't actually take that long to knit the socks, I still find time to study
Isabella: You must hardly sleep with all that going on
Berenice: I sleep! On a bed, even. Yeah beds are great and comfy and things I use every day - uh, night.
Isla: Anyone want to play some some foosball?
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At lunch the women settle down and chat with Deanna about how they're settling in. Kaye gets seconds.
Kaye: This mac and cheese is amazing!
Dee: It did taste pretty good. I wonder if there's a secret ingredient
Deanna: Bella? Isla? You all right?
Isabella: Just a bit queesy
Isla: I'm used to Sulani food
Nyami: So long as you're not still put out about my jokes this morning because that would be cringe
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Deanna: Normally I like to put bacon in macaroni cheese but I figured with a vegetarian around it would be best not to
Kaye: Thanks Deanna
Isla: I couldn't imagine my life without bacon
Dee: I couldn't imagine my life without love *blows kiss to Deanna*
Deanna: *giggles*
Nyami: One time I heard this story about-
...
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Kaye: I'd love to explore more of Salvadorada
Nyami: Well it's there waiting and just full of history. If you want to go you should
Berenice: I heard a rumour that there's maybe some kind of ma - something otherworldly going on there?
Nyami: If you do good the sun gods have been know to grant blessings
Isla: *sighing* I miss the sun
Nyami: Funny you mention the sun. Back home-
...
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Isabella (voiceover): I…admit it was a little…cringe. Ahem. I didn't want to make Nyami feel bad so I left with Isla. I don't know why, I felt a little embarrassed. Nyami was nice at lunch though, she knows so much about so much and isn’t afraid to share knowledge. I don't want to nitpick the food but I miss my Bea's pasta a little bit haha. Anyway, after that, I figured I might need to work on my charisma, level my head and refocus.
Isla (voiceover): I think I'm doing alright today. Sure I had to take a minute this morning but I got back to socializing. For lunch, well, I would have liked the chairs to have more cushioning. All the furniture in Sulani you can just sink in to you know? I chose charisma for skill time, hopefully I can develop an immunity to the cringe
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Kaye (voiceover): Did I get distracted by food this morning? Yeah... I just get hungry people. It was cool to chat with everyone though. I loved getting to talk to Nyami about the jungle, she's a fellow adventurer I reckon. Berenice is an acquired taste but I think I'm getting used to her? Maybe. Anyway I had to go with video gaming for skill time!
Nyami (voiceover): Oh boy are my family going to have a field day watching this. They're used to me running my mouth off about everything, I forget normal people take pauses. I probably got over enthusiastic at lunch but I feel like Deanna enjoyed hearing about the jungle. So yeah worked on charisma first, reminding myself to take pauses. I don't want everyone thinking I'm talking over them deliberately, I just get excited
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Berenice (voiceover): Phew! Almost had some slip ups this morning due to something I may or may not have consumed [eyes dart around]… All natural, totally natural. I swear! Uh well, Dee seems to like me, which is nice I guess. But also it’s like “Dee, are you okay? Do you maybe need to see a specialist about that???” Well she’ll get to know me better and then she won’t like me anymore, so I may as well enjoy it while it lasts *shrug*
Dee (voiceover): I think my first impression of Berenice was spot on, she's hilarious! Of course the more refined in the group didn't approve but I'm sticking with her. She actually got me feeling pretty happy and confident so yeah I threw in a flirt with Deanna at lunch. I'm really hoping for a date from the challenges this round though so I picked charisma to work on for skill time. You never know I could win the very first challenge
Berenice (voiceover): You know, sometimes I think it’s worse for people to find you annoying than it is for them to think that you’re a bad person. Because a bad person, you’re expected not to like them - but with an annoying person it’s like “well they’re not actually a baaad person so I should be friendlier/nicer?” and that makes people resentful or something, but it is kind of nice to have a friend, even for a little while. You're not going to tell Dee that I chose to focus on mischief, right???
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It was another cloudy day at the villa but the contestants opted to eat outside again. We really need to put in a complaint to whoever is in charge of outdoor lights at dusk because they really illuminate nothing. Anyway most contestants got to dinner on time. Berenice was a little late, apparently she needed a wardrobe change? Spirits were once again calm as contestants talked, Isla really missed the sun though.
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Nyami: And that's how I escaped the python
Kaye: *mouth full of food* Darn, I thought I was adventurous on the slopes but you are one brave lady
Deanna: I hope you wont find watching a movie too slow
Isla: Well I'm excited to watch something that's not just a sports true story turned in to film. At home my brothers hardly ever go for films unless someone wins a trophy in it
Isabella: *smiling* I guess there are benefits to being an only child, picking the film
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The group head inside to the living area to set up to watch a film.
Kaye: So I'm really thinking we should make popcorn
Isla: *chuckling* We just ate dinner
Dee: But movies require snacks. I still remember the rush of sneaking food in to the cinemas as a kid
Berenice: Were you afraid of getting caught
Dee: One time an usher came over and demanded we show him our bags to prove we hadn't brought in outside snacks. Luckily the chocolate was in my jacket
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As the film plays the contestants sit on the couch and chat about what's happening. Most of this bunch don't seem to mind talking during films. When it finishes half the contestants head to bed but Kaye, Isabella and Isla stay chatting for a while. Eventually Kaye needs to sleep to.
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Isabella: I'm sorry Deanna if I seemed out of sorts at lunch
Deanna: It was more than the macaroni cheese then?
Isabella: *chuckles* I don't want to nitpick with the food. It’s just that, it's difficult trying to befriend a bunch of women at once.
Isla: I felt the same. You just want to impress everyone here
Deanna: Don't worry, I feel the same about trying to connect with everyone. It can get hard
Sims created by: @corrienteallita, @eljeebee, @ethicaltreatmentofcowplants, @hashimasims, @jonquilyst, @riverofjazzsims
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paulyenvol6 · 8 months ago
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Bound by Flame (Chapter 12)
Contains: smut, dub-con, HIGHLY degrading, oral (m receiving), spanking, very submissive reader, mentions of words like whore and slut, possessiveness, angst, crying, dark content so read with caution!
Wordcount: ~4.06k
Masterlist of this story
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The next day Maera and Daemon got up late when the sun stood already high in the sky.
It was a lazy morning with the two of them dozing off again only to then cuddle each other while the sunlight shone down on their lying figures. Maera almost wondered if her father would send for her soon but then Daemon softly slapped her bare arse.
"We should get up. Or otherwise you'll get this tight cunt of yours fucked sore right here and right now."
His niece smiled slyly and leaned down to kiss his shoulder but then quickly and smoothly jumped off the bed.
"Let's go then."
Daemon smugly watched his niece while she put on a nightgown.
"I shall call for the handmaidens. Do you want me to tell them they are to prepare a bath for you?" she asked and Daemon lifted his eyebrows.
"Yes."
Maera smiled and then quickly opened the door to call for the servants. An hour later the couple was ready to start the day so Daemon guided her down to the dining room. Everything was exactly the way it was before she had left the castle and yet it felt strange. How many times had she walked past the stone engravings in the hallway, had rushed down the staircases although her father had told her that it was too dangerous. How many times had she knocked at the door of the dining chamber to wait for her father's "Come."
This time the door was opened for them before Daemon was able to make a sound and when they were inside Maera spotted her father sitting by the table but with an empty plate.
"Father. Good morrow," she said and put her kindest smile on her face. She just hoped that things would finally be more relaxed between her husband and father.
"Maera," he nodded but his face hardened at the sight of his brother.
He merely tilted his head a little which Daemon took as an invitation to pull his niece with him to the table and sit down. She anxiously watched Daemon and prayed to the gods that he would restrain himself rather than provoking the king further. He caught her gaze and questioningly raised his left eyebrow. In respone Maera gave him her biggest puppy eyes and bit her lip. Please, she mouthed at him which her uncle commented with a scoff and he turned away.
She remained stiff and tense the next couple of minutes but soon the girl assumed that her words might have had an impact on Daemon. He even had started to talk about some meaningless boring topics such as the cotton trade with Pentos and how the prices had shot up over the past months and though Viserys had narrowed his eyes at his brother in the beginning, a few moments later he had actually answered him.
Maera wasn't certain whether her father's openess, if one could call it that, was caused by his manners and the fact that a good host was supposed to treat his guests with kindness or if he genuinely had the desire to speak with Daemon about this now. Either way, she felt relieved and contendly sipped on her cup while zoning out. As much as she liked this development, there was no way she could bare listening to their conversation about cotton trade at this moment.
~~~~~~~~~~
To her regret Maera learned that her son and their servants and handmaidens would need another two days until they would arrive in King's Landing and so in the noon there was nothing left for her to do but to make herself feel more homely in Daemon's chambers.
He had told her that he had planned to meet some of his old friends of the gold cloaks so Maera was alone in their chambers. Additionally her husband had told her to preferably stay in their chambers but soon she wasn't able to anymore. Being back in the red keep excited her and she just had to see her septa Julvra, the stables, the library, the armory and all the other things again. It had been a year. Things had changed during her absence and she intended to see everything.
To her misfortune Maera wasn't able to locate her septa but she promised herself she would find her in the morrow at the latest. She did pay the library a visit though and the familiar scent of parchments and leather, ink and wood overwhelmed her. There was a library at dragonstone as well but compared to the one here, it was disappointing. On top of that, there was that characteristic smell of violets, the source of which Maera had never known but it made her skin tingle.
She almost spent 3 hours browsing through books both familiar and new and she would have had lost the feeling for the passing time if it hadn't became so dark outside that the letters swam before her eyes. That was why she put back her books and decided to search for Daemon.
But just when she was walking around a corner in the dim light of the corridor someone big suddenly appeared in front of her and Maera didn't have enough time to dart to the side.
"Forgive me!" she quickly spoke and then her eyes wandered up the person's body. Her jaw dropped and a happy and exciting feeling spread throughout her body.
"Harwin!?"
The tall man chuckled and his eyes lit up at the sight of her.
"Little princess," he whispered and a warm shiver ran down her spine. He had always called her that name and when she was younger his words combined with his raspy and deep voice had made her blush oftentimes. Harwin took her hand and bowed his head to press a soft kiss on th back of it.
"I was delighted to hear about your safe return, little princess. I hope you are fine."
She had a genuine and wide smile on her face while nodding a few times.
"I am. And I am happy to be back too."
Maera had missed him a lot, she realized now. How many times had they wasted their time by the sea, flipping stone on the water's surface, laid beneath the sun though the knight originially was merely supposed to protect her. But it had been inevitable. She had liked him so much that after weeks he had become her closest friend. That was why she was incredibly relieved that Ser Hawrin seemed fine and the prospects of seeing him more frequently from now on made her insides flutter. The knight placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed her gently.
"I'm actually very busy at the moment but I'd be happy to see you soon and preferably for a longer time. Maybe you would give me the honour and accompany me on a walk through the gardens?"
She happily nodded. "It would be my honour, Ser."
With these words Harwin bowed his head and Maera couldn't help but admire the young and decent man. She was married now of course and felt drawn to her husband only but no person with two functioning eyes would disagree with the fact that Harwin was a handsome and charming man. Her eyes followed him until he had turned around a corner and then Maera finally made her way back to her rooms.
To her surprise Daemon wasn't inside and she felt disappointed. But since she didn't have anything else to do the girl sat down on the bed and grabbed a book off her nightstand to pass the time by reading. In any other case she probably would have gone to have supper preferably with her father but she wasn't hungry and also wanted to be in their chambers when he returned. Maera craved being held by his arms and just desired a lazy evening with him.
She was almost worried about his whereabouts when she finally heard steps outside and suddenly the door sprang open. Her excited expression faded though when she noticed his narrow eyes and tense mouth and the way he hasted towards her. Maera gasped for air in surprise as he grabbed her upper arm and forced her on her feet.
"You little whore," he hissed and his niece felt fear taking control of her body. She was frozen, tears welled up in her eyes and he suddenly scared her so much that her breathing was restricted. Maera couldn't even bring out a word and ask him what the reason for his fury was.
"You dirty little slut. Aren't you ashamed of yourself? I was expecting to see you on your fucking knees when I return. Begging for my forgiveness."
She whimpered because her uncle had wrapped a hand around her neck and squeezed tightly.
"Stupid whore. You thought I wouldn't find out about your slutty behaviour here while I'm out? You thought you could get away with it? You thought now that your uncle is gone you can throw yourself on other men? Act like a disgusting little wench and offer every breathing creature around here your spread legs?"
Maera tried to free herself from his grip because she had to talk to him! She didn't know what Daemon had heard and why he thought she would ever do something like this but it was untrue! She never would've spread her legs for anyone that wasn't him and he should know that. She squirmed in his grip let out a moan to tell him that she had something to say but her uncle fully ignored her.
"It's really unfortunate that you can't fucking behave. How many times did I tell you that you're not to speak to any male servants or knights. And especially not Harwin Strong, this pathetic cunt of a knight."
Maera widened her eyes because she slowly started to realized what Daemon meant. But she merely talked to him and he was an old friend, an exception. Again, the girl intended to calm him by assuring him that all he had done was welcome her back in the castle but her crying and shifting didn't change anything.
"Stay still. You will have enough opportunities to apologize to me but now I want you to shut this slutty mouth until I tell you otherwise," he hissed and Maera could literally feel the anger in his voice as a brush over her skin which scared her.
Although she kept still Daemon slapped her cheek softly and then stepped towards the bed while dragging her by her hair. The prince sat down on the bed and pulled Maera until her stomach hit his thighs and she found herself bent over his lap. Panic flooded her system and she desperately attempted to slip away which Daemon replied to by smacking her arse.
"Stay. Fucking. Still," he growled.
"But I didn't do anything, please," she pleaded now that his hand had left her throat and she finally had been able to inhale some fresh air. Daemon's hand came down once more and she let out a painful whine.
"Please uncle. I swear it, we only talked. Please, believe me. He's a friend and I wanted to greet him kindly."
He chuckled sarcastically. It was a sound that didn't give her any comfort at this moment and the blood in her veins freezed.
"You will count, little one. If you'll mess up I'll start from zero again. And after each slap you will say 'Thank you' and 'Forgive me'."
She dropped her head but Daemon didn't take it as further resistance so he skillfully pulled up her skirts and removed her underwear. Her arse was bare on display for him and he roughly slapped her cheek. He listened carefully for the words he had expected to hear but Maera stayed silent and besides her gasp and the sound of skin slapping against skin he couldn't hear anything. That was why he forcefully yanked her head back so he could look at her face that was drawn with fear.
"I told you to count," he spoke coldly. "Use that sweet voice you used earlier to seduce Harwin Strong and beg for my forgiveness. I know that you can do such lovely things with your voice, isn't that right? I witnessed it myself. You will beg now. Beg like a pathetic common whore that knows her place."
With these words his hand smacked her again and this time it was harder.
"I'm sorry," she cried out and simultaneously her uncle let go off her hair so her head could fall down. He repeated the motion and Maera let out croaked 'Thank you's and 'Forgive me's and 'Please, I'm sorry's while also counting his slaps just as he had told her to do. She jumped every time his skin hit hers and soon her back was so sore that the simplest touch made her whince. Inbetween his slaps he soothingly caressed her skin, which was a great contrast to the way he was abusing her arse at the moment.
When Daemon was finally done the skin of her arse burned and ached and she wished someone would throw a bucket of cold water over her. His hand came down to her back only that this time he traced the handprints on her skin and he seeminlgy wanted to calm her but given the circumstances it was a cruel action. Tears coated her cheeks and by now Maera was a mindful mess on his lap. She sniffed and cried and felt incredibly small and degraded.
"Shh, babygirl. You know that you deserved it. Don't act like the innocent victim."
Daemon delivered one last soft slap to her arse which made her jolt and then pulled her body up until she stood in front of him. Maera anxiously watched him as she didn't know if he would finally release her but when he pushed her down to the floor she knew that he wouldn't let her get away with it so easily.
"On your knees. You're gonna make it up for me. Gonna make me feel really good, kitten."
She sobbed but didn't resist when he made her kneel in front of him. The stoney ground hurt her but she knew better than to complain.
"It's quite poetic, isn't it? Punishing your mouth that you have used to seduce Strong."
He wrapped his hand around her throat once more and pulled her a little closer until his center was in front of her face. He single-handedly managed to free himself off his breeches so Maera stared directly at his hard and large manhood. As much as she enjoyed tasting him and letting him slide into her mouth, she always felt so degraded and humiliated when she had to kneel for her husband. That was why she prefered it when he sat on the bed and Maera could crouch between his legs rather than experiencing the shame of kneeling on the hard ground while looking up to Daemon. That was what commone whores did. Not a highborn noblewoman.
But of course she wasn't in the position to demand anything at all right now so she kept her mouth shut while he guided his tip to her soft lips.
"I don't care how much you'll cry and beg. You're gonna take it and swallow every last drop until I'm content. And if you'll have to stay on your fucking knees all night. You're a little slut and sluts don't deserve any comfortability. I want you to apologize and behave and only then I'll be willing to think about forgiving you."
His hand that had previously squeezed her neck wandered to her chin and he made her look up to him.
"And I want this to hurt for you. Feel free to scream and complain, I won't care. I'm doing this to punish you and give myself a little treat. But this is supposed to hurt you. I want you to think about what you've done and what happens when you disrespect me like this. Do you understand me?"
Maera nodded because she was unable to do anything else. She was anxious about what would happen now because as much as she liked it when her uncle thrusted his cock into her throat he was so upset with her right now that she knew there wouldn't be anything pleasant in it for her. He eagerly tapped the tip of his member against her lips and gestured her to open them. Once she had offered him entrance Daemon pushed inside of her mouth and was welcomed by the familiar comfortable warmth that never failed to make his stomach tighten.
His movement was far from being gentle or patient because he immediately went all the way and didn't stop to push even with his niece was choking and using all her physical power to pull away. He had a hand in her hair which was enough to make sure that she couldn't escape and he just held her head in place while enjoying her wet throat until he backed away a little. Maera used the space to inhale greedily but it was cut off when Daemon snapped his hips forwards again and started to fuck her mouth.
He set a cruel and aggressive pace. He was able to fully ignore his niece's struggle and actually used her like a toy that merely served as a way to make him come the fastest. She knew better than to try to fight him off because he would surely just take what he wanted and complaining would only make him angrier. This was the kind of Daemon that didn't know anything about mercy. In this state he had no problems assaulting her throat until she was crying and that was exactly what he was doing at this moment.
Maera felt like she might suffocate with him barely giving her one second of peace but somehow whenever she thought she was gonna pass out now there was fresh air getting to her lungs. Without Daemon's hand in her hair she would've fallen down to the ground but he made sure to keep her up in order to use her throat to his satisfaction.
He grinded his teeth while looking down at her and her tears of pain didn't move anything in him. She deserved this. She had acted like a cheap whore and disrespected him. He could clearly remember the image of her smiling up to Harwin Strong as though she had just seen what she had been searching for for years. But she was his. His alone. This cunt shouldn't even look at Maera for a second. He wanted her all to himself and somehow Daemon felt like whenever a man had his eyes on her she was a little less his. 'Gods, why couldn't she just behave?'
The memory of the recent events fueled the fury in him again so he tightened his grip around her hair.
"You're my fucking property and I thought that I've taught you this already many times."
He could feel her trying to nod and she stared up to him with her glossy wide eyes.
"You know what I'll do next time, little slut?" His eyes flashed. "Next time I'll make him watch. You'll get down on your knees and I'll fuck your mouth until you're nothing but a pathetic mess and he will watch every second of it. Perhaps he'll then see who you belong to and that he's not to mess with what's mine."
The imagination alone made him even harder and he felt that he was about to burst. That was why he let out a deep groan while his thrusts became sloppier but then Daemon finally exploded in her mouth and his seed filled her throat. Maera had problems swallowing everything but of course her uncle wouldn't accept anything less so he kept her head in place until he was certain that she had swallowed every last droplet of his hot seed.
But Daemon still wasn't done. His hand stayed in her hair as he slid his cock out of her mouth. Her face was red and wet with her tears and suddenly the rogue prince was torn apart between his anger and the desire to cuddle his little girl. He had just released and therefore was in a special post-orgasm-state and even in his upset temper Daemon felt protective over her. But first he had to state something again and so he yanked her head back, a little softer now, and came closer to her.
"I want you to tell me that you have understood what I have told you. And that you know why I had to punish you," he hissed.
Maera coughed a few times, her voice nothing but a croaked sound but then she answered him with her shaky voice.
"I-I understand, uncle… I spoke to S-Ser Harwin though I w-wasn't allowed to…"
She had lowered her eyes to the ground while speaking but Daemon wouldn't have this so he put a finger under her chin that was covered with his precum.
"And what have you learned these past minutes?"
"I will not do it again. I swear it."
He smiled. "No you won't. Because you didn't like what I've just did, did you?"
Maera anxiously glanced at him, gulped loudly and then shook her head.
"Right. So you don't want me to repeat it, mhm?"
"N-No…," she whispered and Daemon gently caressed the side of her head.
"I don't want to do this again either. But if you'll disobey me again I'll have no choice. So you'll best do as I say or your pretty little mouth will get fucked like this again. And you don't want that."
With these words he finally let go off her and Maera sank to the ground at once. New tears escaped the corner of her eyes while she crouched on the stoney ground. Daemon observed her for a few seconds, sighed and then decided to take care of her rather than make her feel his anger for a little longer by ignoring her.
So he kneeled next to her, grabbed her under the arms and picked her up. Maera let it happen and pressed her face to his neck while her uncle walked the both of them to the bed. It had gotten late and he knew that a good sleep would calm his niece. He gently put her down on the mattress, climbed on the bed himself and then she was fast to crawl to him.
"P-Please…," she whined and gestured him to wrap his arms around her. Daemon chuckled softly but granted her her wish.
"I l-love you, Daemon, I'm s-so sorry, I didn't mean to-to upset you. Please don't be mad, please. I will be good."
He exhaled loudly and lovingly ran his finger over the area under her eyes.
"I love you too, little girl. It's good that you're sorry. And you took your punishment so I'm not angry with you anymore. But you know what happens if you are disobedient again, right?"
Maera nodded rapidly and her hands gripped his arm tightly as if she was afraid he would leave her if she didn't hold on to him.
"I know. I will get punished again. But I won't be disobedient, I swear it to you."
"Good girl," Daemon praised and gave her a genuine smile. As a reply the girl tried to move closer to him which was physically impossible but her uncle pressed a kiss on her brow.
"Please Daemon…," she pleaded.
"What is it, little one? What do you need?"
Well, if only she knew… Maera didn't know what she was asking for so instead of giving him an answer she moaned and stared at him with round eyes. He chuckled and was filled with an infinite love for his wife. If only she was always this tame. To be fair, Maera really had improved her behaviour and he rarely had to teach her a lesson like he had done today anymore but some days she still acted defiantly and Daemon found that it was just unnecessary. Things were going so smoothly when she did as he said and let him take control.
He stroke her silky hair and saw how she closed her eyes.
"Sleep, sweetling. I'll watch over you. I'll always keep you safe."
Maera hummed contently and snuggled into his arms. And then Daemon caressed her hair until she was fast asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~
Taglist:
@smashee0789 @classicsimpforaaronwarner @hangmanscoming @ninihrtss @coffeebooksrain18 @aleemendoza2425-blog @chiminies-noona
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pallastrology · 2 years ago
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🍄 astro notes 🍄
venus biquintile pluto is a really interesting aspect. the biquintile is usually associated with creativity and the development of artistic ability, and with venus being involved, there is even more potential and a genuine love for art. the native will find happiness and connection through their creative pursuits. with pluto on the other end of the aspect, something interesting happens. there can be a tendency towards obsession; they are more dedicated and more patient, with a strong work ethic and a desire to find meaning through their art, and it can bring them real catharsis. they may discover and nurture repressed parts of themselves through their art, and overall, there is a bit of a darker theme to this otherwise light and bright placement.
moon square pluto is often given a really negative spin online; i’ve seen everything from emotionally out of control to “will abuse their children”! this just isn’t a helpful way to interpret harsh aspects. my experience with this placement is that big emotions are very frightening, often because of the native’s early experiences. they seek to “control” their emotions, which can make them quite vulnerable to impulsive or addictive behaviours. they often have a deep relationship with mother figures, and with their children, which yes, at their worst, can become enmeshed and intense. but at their best, these relationships are intimate and founded on mutual trust, long lasting and able to weather the harshest storms.
venus-saturn aspects are all about delayed gratification. the native has to grow into their loving, creative, social side, and they usually have to "grow through what they go through"; depending on the aspect, they may just feel a little different, or have no interest in relationships, or they may grow up lonely or isolated, or deal with unhealthy relationships. they have to do a lot of self-work to develop self-love and nurture the soft, creative side of themselves, before they can really feel at home around other people. but when they reach that point, they can build beautiful, devoted and ultimately very healthy connections with others, that allow all involved to really thrive.
pluto conjunct ascendant natives have a really intense gaze. i think that usually we only think of the eyes when they think of the pluto stare, but to me it goes a lot further than that; especially with the conjunction, pluto-ascendant people look with their whole body. they have the intense eye contact, sure, but they tend to also have a hard mouth and slightly furrowed brow, a certain tension in their jaws and necks. they look like a cat about to pounce in a way, you can almost see that electrical energy under their skin.
in astrology, the sextile and trine are considered to be harmonious aspects; they denote an easy, well-blended connection between the two planets involved. the sextile is steadier, and more prone to stagnation, which can look like complacency or even entitlement; the trine is more dynamic, meaning in a way, it's easier to bring out the positives of the aspect.
lilith in the tenth house is a placement that is very vulnerable when it comes to social media. nowadays, it's so normalised to post everything that it's almost radical to stay away from it, and with lilith in the tenth house, it's easy to feel validated and vindicated through what they post. unfortuntely they are easy targets for online abuse and can actually feed into and "bait" this kind of harmful interaction when hurting and angry. lilith in the tenth house needs to learn to find healthy outlets and become more reflective, less reactive.
uranus conjunct ascendant natives are bright, almost electrified. they can be prone to sudden epiphanies that show up in strange moments; sitting bolt upright in the middle of the night with a sudden realisation, for example. they can be chaotic, but when given space to breathe, they are brilliant, both in that they are clever and reflective with the energy to pull off everything they think up, and that they seem to sparkle. there is a clarity to their voice, their eyes, like they glow from within.
venus square the north node natives really struggle with being uncomfortable. they tend to be somewhat sensitive, and are irresistibly drawn to the beautiful, the soft and smooth. they just want to be comfortable, but this can lead to the native avoiding or dropping anything uncomfortable. if they want to grow and feel fuller in themselves, they will have to learn to thrive in challenging situations, without going too far in the opposite direction and not being able to listen to their instincts or enjoy anything in life.
libra suns with mercury in scorpio are an interesting mix, because they have the reflective sensitivity of libra and the stark and often quite brutal language of scorpio. they are often quite gifted writers, with a talent for the existential and deeply emotional. they aren’t as talkative as you’d expect a libra sun to be, and they are generally more somber, but with a dry, dark sense of humour and a disarming straightforwardness to them.
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villowstar · 19 days ago
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Hi I just wanted to say that your art is the prettiest thing I’ve seen all day and the colors are fantastic and the style is soso fantabulous I love it so much and I would love some elaboration on that flowey-Kris au you mentioned?
hi!! thank you for liking my art!! ^_^ I do not have an official name for it as I'm not sure what to call it, but I do have it labeled "DeltaFlower" in my files.
so, i had this idea for a comic of what if flowey somehow joined the main DR cast, but being kris and flowey centric in a UT post-pacifist route and in between chapter 2 and 3. I'm a huge fan of the houseplant/floweypot AU, and also some inspiration from deltatraveler. I've already drawn some scenes I had in my head like here and here. but I do have a very basic loose sequence written down.
so, in a post pacifist route, flowey is left wondering in the underground by himself, setting up a little camp in sans & papyrus' house, scavenging for abandoned food and snacks left behind.
(this is according to the theory that sans' door is actually a darkworld teleporter door) as flowey assumes that sans' room is just another "prank through time and space"(according to papyrus), he has never gone fully inside. but, out of boredom and curiosity he enters, and falls through like when kris and susie enter a dark world and ends up landing in castletown somehow.
or... somehow flowey gets the machine in sans' lab working (also a theory that its connected to deltarune, and gets through that way. ((still figuring it out on how he gets there, but this is a little idea for a flowey darkworld design, I have no idea what I'm doing😓))
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flowey, rightfully freaked out, explores castletown, having a 'who the heck are you' 'where the heck am i' moment. eventually finds ralsei. ralsei does his big intro explanation of dark worlds and the prophecy. flowey even more freaked out because "what??" and ralsei kind of looks like asriel.
after waiting a bit, kris and susie come to the dark world and meet flowey, he explains he's not a darkner, and they bring him to the lightworld. flowey gets but into a flowerpot and quickly learns that this is indeed an alternate timeline but does not tell kris. susie has to leave for some reason, and kris and flowey have to go home to toriel's house. flowey learns that kris is the adopted human of this timeline.
there is a funny scene here of toriel assuming that the golden flower kris is holding is from asgore and getting a little angry. (I don't know if I want this scene to happen here or later) when they get to the bedroom, flowey realized that asriel never died, there was no suicide pact, there was no war(?), no underground, and chara never died because there maybe was no chara. flowey realizes that kris has the "role" of chara and frisk.
flowey learns that kris also has a "player" like frisk and is able to reset, although not knowing if it's the same player from UT, and assumes it's a completely new one unique to DR. very upset and near devastated, he has a long conversation with kris and/or the player about mostly everything. both kris and flowey have a moment of "you are kind of my sibling and not, and we both know each other but we also don't"
after this, is pretty much the same as chapter 3 and 4 but if flowey was there. he's still a little evil and selfish, lots of funny flowey hijinks, undertale references, the player and flowey interactions, and more kris character development with some angst thrown in along the way.
at first, flowey bullies ralsei, susie is very annoyed at him but kind of amused, ralsei is distrustful but trying to give the benefit of the doubt. everyone is confused on why (the player) acts like they've known flowey all their life, kris uses flowey to find out more information on their situation with the player.
flowey learns how to let himself feel more emotion, the player learns how to balance control better with kris, and kris learns that they do matter and there's always someone who will understand them, they just have to reach for it. I wanted there to be an overarching theme of grief, bad coping mechanisms, and the effects of unintentional emotional neglect.
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1thesewordsaremyown1 · 1 month ago
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911 Episode Review: 1x02 Let Go
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This is a very Buck heavy episode, which, considering I wasn't a fan of him in the first episode, is actually surprisingly a good thing because it really helps to turn his character around in the eyes of the audience.
Buck struggles after dealing with his "first loss" on the job. This isn't technically true - as he says, they've arrived to find people had already passed away, and in the last episode, we see a jumper fall right in front of his eyes. But this is the first that Buck himself has specifically tried to save and failed, and it hits him hard. And while it's heartbreaking to see Buck struggle with this loss, it is a huge boost to his character growth. The accident happens at the very start of the episode, so besides one little quip in the beginning before it happens, for the rest of the episode, gone is the cocky, arrogant Buck from episode 1 that ground my gears. He's finally realised the weight of having this job, and not just because he was going to get fired. There's an emotional burden to carry, and for someone who says he "can't switch his emotions off like a machine", this is something he's going to have to learn to deal with.
There's a beautiful scene between Bobby and Buck where Bobby shares his experience with his first loss and encourages Buck to see a therapist. Earlier in the episode, Buck had lamented to Abby about how no one seemed to notice how he was feeling, yet the fact that Bobby already had a therapist's card tucked in his pocket when they had the conversation showed that this just wasn't true - Bobby had noticed, and he stepped in when he felt like he was needed. They're not at the father-son stage of the relationship that eventually develops between them just yet, so it takes a while for Bobby to approach him, but this scene is like a little sneak peak into the relationship they eventually will have, and like I said, it's beautiful.
There are others who try to give advice, of course. There's Chimney with his "treat your patients like one night stands" advice, which, while it sounds callous, actually makes sense when you think about it - you'd get wrecked if you became attached to everyone you rescue, whether they survive or not. Athena tells him something similar but in a far more eloquent way: "we wear this uniform so at the end of the day we can shred all the bad stuff we faced on the job that day when we take it off."
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Onto Athena - like Buck, she is also going through some stuff in this episode. She's still struggling to deal with Michael coming out as gay and trying to figure out how to make their marriage still work. There's a lovely heart to heart with Hen where Hen reminds her that "your husband likes boys." Hen is completely understanding that Athena may not be able to give up her marriage, especially for the sake of her kids, but as she points out, in order to properly care for her kids, she needs to care for herself too. Their friendship feels just so wonderful and natural. Aisha and Angela, despite only being two episodes into the first season, play off each other so well that you truly believe these two have been friends for years.
But oh, Athena. There are aspects I admire about you on the job and others that have me side-eyeing. She shows how incredibly observant and quick thinking she is in this episode, not only with a way to distract some dogs in a home invasion, but in figuring out the "victim" was in fact the perpetrator (and then tracking him down). But when it came to the arrest, she could have arrested this man easily - she knew where he was, he didn't know she was tracking him, all she had to do was come up to him from behind or wait outside the door. But instead, she lets her anger with everything she's dealing with in her personal life get the best of her, and instead she cases him down in her car, and then throws him against said car in an incredibly rough arrest. A fellow cop who was her backup had to pull her up and take over, looking at her in shock. Look, I get what she's going through, and I really do feel for her. But just like how she sheds everything on the job when she takes her uniform off, she has to shed everything in her personal life when she puts it ON. She is in a position of power, and she can't use what's going on at home as an excuse to abuse that power.
Speaking of abuse of power - Abby also walks the tightrope here with that. Even if it's not an absolute abuse of power, it is more than likely breaking some sort of rules and protocol (which I suppose, IS an abuse of power...). She rings Buck to find out how he is after seeing him on TV - nice enough sentiment, except she took his phone number from the report from last week's incident to call him. But what's worse, is we don't see her take the phone number then and there - she's not at work when she calls him. So she either a) called someone at work and asked them to give them the number from the report (and how they approved that, I don't know) or b) she had already taken the number from the report and had it in her phone. I'm not sure which is worse, really. Look, I said this in my live blog, I believe she had good intentions, but she also clearly had a bit of a crush on Buck, so while giving a friendly ear to Buck was what he needed, her motives weren't entirely pure going into it (and it feels a little like Buck is being taken advantage of again). I don't hate Abby - I feel for her struggle with her mother, and with the introduction of Carla in this episode, I was reminded of how much I loved their friendship, but I was never a big fan of her relationship with Buck, and like I said in the last episode review, I'm going into this with a critical eye and that critical eye is kind of justifying my gut feeling.
But going back to people taking advantage of Buck - the therapist. Ugggghhh, the therapist. I'm going to put this under a cut, as most of us are of the consensus that what happened was sexual assault, so if people don't want to read about it, they can skip it (this is the last point I'm making about this episode, so you won't miss much):
So, therapy. Good idea in concept Bobby, but ultimately not in execution. This scene is so wrong (and it's a shame it's never really acknowledged as such in the show). After sleeping with Buck, the therapist states, "that was so unprofessional." Yes, yes, it was. And your licence should be revoked. Because seconds before, that man was sitting on your couch IN TEARS, incredibly emotionally vulnerable, and you couldn't keep your pants on. It doesn't matter who instigated it (we don't see who) - Buck was emotionally compromised, and she overstepped her patient/doctor boundaries. Buck may have stated, "I feel so much better," after they were done, but again, the man was emotionally compromised! He was dealing with a traumatic experience, and he felt like he had no one to turn to. She had all the power here, and she abused it.
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robotslenderman · 1 month ago
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Man enshittification has sent me down a tech rabbit hole and I really appreciate the skills I'm developing and the way they've enriched my life.
Don't like Spotify so I got SpotDL. Fuck paying god knows how much for streaming programs I'm barely using, I'm learning to torrent that shit. I set up a killswitch and a split tunnel and everything. I know people keep saying that you shouldn't pirate books but I got fed up with Amazon letting me buy stuff only to take it back and not let me read it any more without a refund, so if I can't get something from the library or the second hand book fair I absolutely pirate that shit now because FUCK the "you won't own anything and you will be happy" economy, I don't care if you're a struggling independent or a juggernaut I am NEVER letting that happen again. As soon as I can figure out Calibre I'm stripping the DRM from my legal ebook collection so I can hold on to it. Fuck Amazon.
I bought a new ereader because fuck Kindle and I didn't have to get a subscription and FUCK SUBSCRIPTIONS, I have two three subscriptions and one is two bucks a month for iCloud and the other is for YNAB because it saves me more money than it costs (and the last one is my local gym). I bought a handheld PC and installed Apollo and Moonlight and Playnite so I can stream games directly from my desktop PC so I can play them at higher settings, and I want to install Tailscale so I can do it even when I'm not at home, should the internet connection cooperate. But also I still have to learn how to get it to cooperate with PureVPN because I have port forwarding set up there with a killswitch for my torrents, and I don't know if I CAN make them play nice but I'll give it a go. I'm going to learn about wake on LAN so I can try and turn on my computer remotely so I can still access it when I'm away and the inevitable circuit breaker events happen without having to nag my brother into turning on my computer. I want to learn how to dual boot Linux for my next build but no idea if I'll be able to get it to cooperate with Moonlight lmao
Anyway even though my budget app saves me more money than it costs, the Mormons who run it are absolutely squeezing its users so I went. fuck it. new app time. and I found some open source software online that basically runs the same and still requires a subscription but this time instead of fifteen bucks a month it's two bucks a month, and it requires setting up a server on some website I've never heard of but it was easy and I did it, and there's no app I have to use a web browser but it's mostly set up now, I just have to do battle to export my YNAB budget and import it into Actual Budget and then I'm spending less than five bucks a month on subscriptions that aren't the gym.
I feel like I've slowly turned into an anti consumption kind of person without even meaning to. I still buy a lot of things brand new, but I very rarely buy things that I don't actually need in some way. I've started thrifting clothes, I get tech second hand or refurbished. I don't like to waste the bin liners at work so I won't use the bin in the store room at work because if I do the cleaners will empty it even though it'll only have whatever I threw out in there so I always bring my rubbish to the front desk and use that bin instead. I'm learning to cook so I can finally make food nice enough I stop buying fucking lunch. I want to one day buy an apartment on a tram line in Melbourne so that I don't have to use a car, but before I get there I'm using my mother's car until she either wants it back or it dies. One thing that'll bug me about being on my own is that I'd be producing a lot of food waste as groceries are sold in portions meant for households, not single people, so I want to get a chest freezer so I can reduce that as much as I can, but that's years down the line.
I never really set out to become this person I've become but I feel good about it. I'll never be able to opt out of capitalism but I can still reduce how much I participate in it by buying refurbished and second hand, and reducing how much I toss. I found a store yesterday at work that has books out, encouraging people to donate some and take others, and I might go back this week and take some of the books I bought from the second hand book fair that I've read to make some more space. After I read them I pirated my favourites so I'll always have them on my device now anyway, but I don't want to throw them out, I'd rather let someone else have them and then pass them on in their turn.
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kafus · 1 year ago
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why dot & episode 41 of pokemon horizons means so much to me as a recovering social recluse
when i got into pokemon horizons i had no idea whatsoever that my favorite character would end up being dot, one of the best handled social recluse characters i've ever seen in a piece of media. pokemon places such a large focus on adventure and travel, meeting new people and pokemon, so really the idea of a respectfully handled social recluse character just didn't seem to fit in with the concept. but now that the environment travels with the characters in the form of an airship, dot was able to be created and my god i love her. as someone who's been a recluse most of my life, even as a child, (i would qualify as a hikikomori and/or NEET at different stages of my life!) who is slowly crawling out of that pit, dot means the world to me.
there's a lot of good episodes that have some level of focus on dot but episode 41 in particular really blew me away and for the sake of my autistic ass desperately wanting to tell people about it i'm going to explain that here in trademark rambling fashion. obviously spoilers ahead - though not just for episode 41, i'm also going to be talking about earlier episodes a little bit. you've been warned!! if you don't want spoilers don't read below the cut ty!!
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so episode 41. we meet dot's mother as the viewer who is there to pick up dot from her "trial period" on the brave asagi, learn about how dot ended up on the airship in the first place, and then at the end dot gets to have a showdown against her mother's lycanroc essentially to prove that she wants to, and can, stay permanently on the rising volteccers crew instead of going home. this is a huge turning point in dot's development as a character - at first she was a complete unknown only audible through her bedroom door, irritable to anyone who tried to speak to her, then over the course of the show she's managed to make friends with liko and roy, become a pokemon trainer, enjoy food with other people for seemingly the first time, and even caught tinkatink on her own accord pretty recently. and now this episode allows her to say in her own words that she isn't just on the ship experimentally, or because of murdock, or any other reason - she is choosing to be there and is enjoying learning more about other people and experiencing the outside world. again, this is a huge leap for someone who refused to show her face to the main characters for the first half of the show!
this on its own is already a pretty admirable character arc, one i can relate to, but i am really impressed by & feel seen by the way the writing handles her and that's really apparent in this episode. first i'm going to focus on how the writing and characters in the show respect dot's feelings despite her introversion and reclusion here.
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dot's mom (blanca) is introduced to us as incredibly overbearing, to the point of freaking out and sending a bunch of angry stickers when murdock and dot don't immediately respond to her messages. dot's first response to seeing her mom is frustration instead of any level of positive response or excitement, which implies they don't have the best history, even before she actually starts talking about her past. i'm not trying to make this a post about dot's family psychology, maybe another time, but similarly to liko her situation is a bit fucked lmao (though for opposite reasons!)
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the thing is - the adults around her are ALSO uncomfortable, in particular murdock, blanca's brother, which conveys a lot about the situation. she's not just some stubborn kid, there's legitimacy to her feelings, because if there wasn't the mature figures in this situation probably wouldn't also be reacting negatively, especially not murdock, dot's other relative here. from incredibly personal experience, it is so easy to wave off the feelings of a child, especially one as "difficult" and reclusive as dot, as just being some sort of phase, but already the writers are directly contrasting murdock, an adult dot is comfortable with who treats her with patience and respect, with blanca, who she evidently is not comfortable with - and they're respecting her feelings by making the adults in the show respect her feelings, too. and they're about to do a whole lot more of contrasting her mother with Everyone and Everything Else!
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dot is continued to be understood and respected by the people who know her best in the case of liko and roy choosing to approach her to talk first. dot has run off to her room, where she usually is to get away from people, a very clear sign that she's struggling. liko and roy recognize this and cut blanca off from making the situation worse. which, of course they would, they're her friends and they genuinely care about her and understand how she behaves! they even know how to get her to come out her room without banging on her door and continuously yelling or something like that - direct contrast to them struggling with this much earlier in the show, by the way.
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dot is happy to see them and much more willing to talk pretty much immediately, because guess what, they're people who respect her space and her feelings!!!
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and once again, when blanca tries to force dot to speak before she's ready to (i mean come on you literally jumped her with this massive thing out of nowhere), liko jumps in and cuts blanca off to defend her and once again respect her feelings in a way that blanca definitely is not.
and finally, when they end up having a pokemon battle with each other...
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blanca says this, yet another invalidation of dot's feelings and the way she responds to situations. this line actually made me viscerally uncomfortable, i remember the bitterness and upset i felt when i was a young person and my feelings, especially my frustrations with my parents and the way they handled my introversion, were invalidated on account of my age. "oh, it's just a phase" or "it's just because you're a kid" - just so incredibly frustrating.
and you know what that's followed up with?
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dot speaking her fucking mind and kicking her mom's ass baby!!!! get her ass!!! let's GOOO. this part of the episode is so fucking rewarding. it's so good to see this character who has grown so much finally stand up for herself. she still needed a little bit of a push but that's OKAY!! the important part is that she's doing it and the narrative recognizes that! having friends and loved ones to help you out is actually a very essential part of happiness and survival!
and before i delve too far into my personal feelings, i also want to talk about a second thing here; i just find dot's characterization really relatable, like i swear to god there's someone on the writing team who must have been a 12 year old autistic NEET or something. it's literally too fucking on point, it's uncanny, i swear there's times in horizons where dot is just a carbon copy of me when i was a preteen. i mean come on:
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dot flopping face down into bed after being overwhelmed in an awkward social situation and being confronted with a situation she's been trying to ignore thus far... the amount of times i have done this in my life, holy shit.
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the candidness in which dot speaks about being so interested in the outside world, but being unable to have those experiences for herself as simply a voyeur. the shot of her room being such a disaster because she rarely leaves it and stuff piles up in there, including food junk,
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the way she spends all this time alone cultivating skills she's passionate about and then shrugs them off as "just something she likes" when an adult compliments her on her abilities, the contrast between her confidence in what she loves but her complete social awkwardness in talking to anyone about it,
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her defining herself on the internet by being a homebody, hell even her cute little freakout about the streamer she likes noticing something she said,
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waking up late and missing the activities of other people because her sleep schedule basically doesn't exist while she's at home,
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even just her general body language of closing in on herself and holding onto something when she's nervous, hell even her clothing choices which are so obviously meant to be as comfortable as possible for her and easy to take on and off - i could go on forever even just with this episode alone but i think you get the point. i feel so seen by how dot is just in general and it's obvious from both the plot/writing and the way dot is portrayed and animated that the people making this show understand people like me, even the type of person i was as a child, too.
all of this means so much to me because like i said in the intro to this post, i was and still very much am a social recluse. i'm a homebody. even now i still rarely leave my room, i don't eat with family often, i struggle to do things in the "real world". growing up, repeated intrusions into my feelings and my life did not help me, they only made me whiplash further into feeling distant and not listened to by the people around me. they made me want to interact with real life less. finally, as an adult, when people started to give me a bit more space, when the ways i communicate began to be respected a little more, that is when i started making genuinely close and good friendships, that is when i began to venture outside of my room and partake in small joys with people, as a direct result of being given the space and time to do so, to have my own autonomy, to make my own decisions, to be myself. i think it's incredibly easy to see someone curling in onto themself and assume they need a fuckton of intrusive pushing, and sometimes they do need a little push, like how dot's quaxly pushes her to move forward in the moment sometimes, or how liko continuously tried to befriend her, but the important part is that by treading too far over her boundaries it is no longer a productive or respectful way of helping her - it's a balance, and a balance horizons always seems to get right, episode 41 included.
it really means so much to me to see dot's journey into coming out of her shell treated with so much respect by the writing and other characters. so often recluse characters are the butt of the joke, are pushed out of their comfort zones unrealistically fast, or never actually receive the support and growth they need - but horizons strikes the balance of being candid about the type of character dot is and giving respect and space to her feelings so she can grow at her own pace, but still giving her support and little pushes when she needs them, and showing that it's possible to grow and enjoy the real world, even as a recluse. it's refreshing, especially with a character who is a child, and a girl, too! i can count the amount of times i have found a young girl character i relate to at all on one hand, and dot is the best one i've ever seen, personally! horizons has been really inspiring to me to continue to cultivate my connections with others and continue to drag myself out of my shell at my own pace with people who love me, during a really chaotic and transitional part of my life and i really love it for that. i'm glad this episode exists for an infinite multitude of reasons but i really just wanted to talk about this specific aspect for a bit and how it relates back to me as a recovering recluse.
thanks for reading if you got this far jesus christ i talk a lot LOOOL. and i might talk more about my feelings on this episode or dot in general later. i have so much to say about likodot and also about the family dynamics in this show i'm practically eating thru drywall thinking about it rn
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Not that long ago the LotR trilogy was rereleased in theaters for a limited time and I saw them multiple times, three of those being with @ath3alin who watched me take all of these Aralas notes throughout the movies (there’s nothing wrong with canon, it’s just really gay). So I’m gifting them to the internet, you’re welcome.
Fotr:
The scene where Aragorn is singing like a weirdo into space = it was a song that Legolas would sing to him when they were children, and then they would sing it together once Aragorn learned Elvish better. When Frodo asks what woman he sings of, it’s really Legolas, because he misses him
TT:
When the riders of Rohan surround them, the first thing Legolas does is reach for Aragorn so that’s going in a fic at some point
Legolas really just wanted his crush to look cool in literally every moment Aragorn did something he could have done in like two seconds
At least Legolas’ first instinct is to look at Aragorn every time something happens or every time he says something. Like,,this man might as well never be looking anywhere else
“Nobody cares for the woods anymore (That’ll probably be a Thranduil fic somehow, we’ll figure it out)”
I will say, it would be a fun headcanon to have Legolas feel the things the forest does; i.e. their pain, their joy, their sadness. And instead of being weird it’s actually really sweet and Aragorn does find it a bit adorable once he develops feelings for Legolas
Forest scene: Those fuckers are standing ridiculously close to each other. Honestly, I’d like to headcanon that Legolas specifically speaks to Aragorn in Elvish when he’s afraid or nervous
Honestly, Aragorn would be lowkey attracted to the way Legolas absolutely just knocks that guy out with his arm and he doesn’t understand it until later
Let’s be real, Legolas would be so offended when Snake Man smacks Aragorn like that, like “hello, that’s my boyfriend, you’re not my president”
Legolas standing next to Aragorn count: 18
Legolas lowkey being sad not being able to ride beside Aragorn on the way to Helm’s Deep
I genuinely wonder what it would be like if I rewrote the dream sequence. Like, if it was Legolas even though he’s there with him and Aragorn wakes up wishing that the dream were true and, once again, not understanding exactly why he feels that way. Although it does make for a bit of an awkward moment between the two of them in the morning and Legolas is extremely confused
Not sure what to do about the Evenstar, probably just forget about it in the second AU (whatever that would be honestly i have no idea)
Honestly in this second AU i would love to explore whatever the fuck is going on in Mirkwood that Legolas has to deal with and Aragorn realizing that something is fucking with him. Perhaps instead of the Undying Lands scene with Eowyn it’s instead similar to that since we’re speaking about Aragorn staring into the distance
Lowkey Aragorn looking terrified when Legolas just runs off to take out that scout and he’s like “fuck where are you going, don’t go where I can’t follow”
Legolas getting minorly injured in that battle (of the cliff I guess, his face is BROKEN by the way) and doesn’t address it until they find Aragorn and then it genuinely starts to affect him to the point where he finally passes out and everyone is like “FUCK what happened, oh my god he’s hurt”
God Eowyn’s face is nothing compared to Legolas’ when they think Aragorn is dead
Someone would gladly say, I think, “the guy was fucking heartbroken, he wouldn’t rest one fucking second because he knew that’s exactly what you would do and he figured that since he couldn’t save you, this was the least he could do”
The look Legolas gives him when he refuses to rest literally screams “sit the fuck down, I swear to the Valar I’ll kill you myself”
Aragorn: “Why do you hurt? What is your pain? Please, tell me!”
Legolas: “The trees. The Woodland Realm. My…My home. They are dying.”
That whole argument scene, the expressions goddamn
Legolas was definitely helping Aragorn get dressed in his armor what do you mean
Aragorn calling for his husband in the middle of a fight count: 3
Perhaps I’ll headcanon that Legolas does some of the shit he does just to impress Aragorn
RoTK
I imagine Legolas participating in the drinking game with half a desire to impress Aragorn, half a desire to screw with Gimli, and perhaps a hope to attempt to drown his sorrows of unrequited love depending on the story
The scene where Aragorn leaves the others while they sleep, what if he were to speak to Legolas instead of Eowyn
The way they look at each other at exactly the same time is crazy holy shit
It’s a common fandom thought (the one for this ship at least) that Legolas drags Aragorn away from holding the Palantir because he doesn’t want it to hurt him more than it already has (also that Legolas held him in his arms across his chest, that’s fun)
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clownin44 · 9 months ago
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hey, what do you think of benlor as a ship??? if possible, can u please bless us with some benlor fanart? thanks!
Ty for the ask!
Other than Ashlyn and Aiden, Red really doesn't focus on any other pairings. She said that she prefers to have the relationships develop naturally as she goes, which I think is really cool! I don't have any ship I'm crazy about. I think they all have the potential to be cute, but benlor, I SEE!!
I'm going to break down this pairing and why I think they work and some headcannons I have, hopefully? Dunno what this is actually
Their first important scene together (in my opinion) happens in episode 27 when Aiden tells the group what happened to Ben. Taylor is the first to say anything, and thanks him for being so open about it when he probably wasn't ready to tell anyone yet. I like that It's not meant to be romantic, Taylor's just a kind person. However, it definitely changes their relationship moving forward.
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In episode 42, when Logan is confronting Barron at the arcade, they have another special moment. Taylor notices Ben's discomfort with the situation and makes a comment about wishing he had stayed inside. I don't think it's because she thinks he's dangerous, I think it's because knowing what she knows now makes it harder for her not to notice and feel it too.
I love that instead of asking, "Can I?" She asks, "Is it okay?" It shows that she's mindful of any boundaries he may have. Ben's expression softens, and he reluctantly hands her an earbud so they can listen together.
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Season 2 takes things a lot slower, as Taylor's visibly upset after the "death" of her brother, and there aren't as many scenes of them that I remember. Here's what I gathered from the benlor crumbs we got!
Episode 75? I believe? Shows the group hanging out in the phantom realm after Maverick visits Ben. Taylor's stressed and homesick and wants to go home like everyone else. Ben reaches out to comfort her and tells her that they will, in fact, find their way home. It's sweet to see him try and calm her down like she has with him in the past.
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Smaller scenes I'm lumping together. Taylor brings up getting Ben a whistle, and she's leaning against him in the group huddle!! Both are very cute.
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MOVING ONTO HEADCANNONS!!!
-Ben has a hard time believing anyone can love him, so a lot of the time when Taylor's nice to him, he assumes it's because that's just the way she is.
-They both struggle with having too much empathy for people. Taylor picked up on that, and they were able to bond over it.
-Neither of them can cook. Taylor never had to learn because Tyler was always there to cook for her and Ben just can't figure it out lol
-Red posted somewhere that words of affirmation was her love language? Or communication? Which obviously is difficult for Ben. He tries to compensate for this by writing her letters (and maybe some poetry he's too embarrassed to show her).
Anyway I think they're neat, I'll draw some fanart of them later tn hope I answered ur question!!
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wolfertinger · 1 month ago
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Keep anon if not please- Salem expressing interest in making his comics handheld in the same 24 hours as him STILL talking about that one person on Twitter that insulted his art* is so... interesting. Does he know how harsh publication can be? Not even just the process of publishing/copyediting a comic, but the public reception it'll receive. People are literally going to tear his webcomic apart, even if he decides to keep it as a webcomic (like Zoophobia). Like I'm sorry, nobody's going to see glaring mistakes like "NO LITER" and "Eh, I'm used to be glared at" and just... not say anything about it. It makes your work look unprofessional and that you don't care enough to proofread your content before posting it. No matter how small a mistake is, people are going to notice this shit! And people are going to critique him VERY HARSHLY. He realizes that people outside of his following are going to come across this content, right? This also applies to him wanting to submit The Home He Hates to an art museum when the accompanying text is filled with grammatical errors, the drawing itself has poor composition, and symbolism that literally contradicts the intended meaning of the fucking image itself. Seeing how he handled that "FTM fursona with a fat ass" post that wasn't even about him, I'm genuinely unsure if he'll take the potential rejection or critique given by industry professionals.
I don't even think his concepts are necessarily BAD for a webcomic. I think the original Hitomi and Hitch, even though they're basically dead now lol, are really cute and it's fun to see their dynamic (or what it could have been) in their old comics. Seeing cute slice of life content could actually be a really nice change of pace from his current art because at least then there's variety and the audience will be able to see the characters interact in situations outside of "Hitch sucks girlcock" and "Hitomi and Hitch fuck all the time and they love each other so much and they totally have character because I'm telling you that they do". Whatever happened to Hitch being an alt skater and Hitomi being a Lolita-inspired seamstress? This isn't even just a Hitomi + Hitch problem, this happens to literally all of his characters. What about Salem's backstory and brothers Dante and Grendel? LALUNE, WHO'S ONLY EVER MENTIONED ONCE ON HIS BLOG AND NEVER AGAIN??? Beowulf looked like an interesting character because he stood out, but every single one of these concepts gets shelved for Fat Trans Person Pin-Up #69420 because that gets the most likes and reblogs. I feel like his writing is going to be Vivziepop-esque in that manner and not because of swearing, but because he literally can't think of his OCs doing anything WITHOUT MENTIONING THEIR SEX LIVES. Maybe for Halloween we'll see Hitch dressed up as Angel Dust?
*For the record I'm not justifying the person who's insulting his art or somehow making fun of Salem for getting insulted. This is all coming from someone who has experience with character writing, copyediting, and publishing: these are all literally just the first thing you learn when you enter these fields or even express interest in a topic. But as a person with a large following, you MUST learn to develop thicker skin, especially when you're on the internet, and especially when you're thinking of going into competitive fields like webcomics and art museums. I'm not even trying to discourage Salem from making this content: you fucking go, dude! It's great that you want to add variety to your work and I think that drawing comics will greatly improve his artstyle. But I'm just warning that critique is GUARANTEED. You can block people all you want, but you'll still receive it. It's just something that's going to happen when you're a public figure. That doesn't make it right, or that you should receive hate content, but it will happen regardless. The main critique of your comic is not going to be because of your race, or your identity, or your disabilities. It is going to be because of your writing and your final product. Just like this blog is not a hate blog ran by racists and transphobes, it is a blog ran to hold you accountable for your behavior and how you treat others.
Sorry for the long post, and sorry for any redundancy.
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justthinkinboutbooks · 1 year ago
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The development of Elriel (so far)
This is my (rather long) breakdown of what I believe to be the timeline of their relationship so far. I don't believe they love each other at this point in the books, but I definitely think they're on that path, and this is how we got there:
ACOMAF
This is when they first meet, but there are no romantic feelings between them.
During this book, Elain is in love and engaged and Azriel is still very much in love with Mor. However, when they meet, it is clear that they feel comfortable around each other.
Feyre points out that she thinks Elain would cling to Azriel for peace and quiet if she came to Velaris. That gives us the image of them together but, again, there are no romantically coded interactions between them.
At the end of the book, Elain is turned and learns that her mate is Lucien.
ACOWAR
This is where things start to get interesting.
In this book, Elain is still in love with Graysen and Azriel is still in love with Mor, but we start to see a shift as they spend time together.
From Azriel's perspective, I think he finds it easy to be around her, and finds her presence comforting, which is why he takes her out to the garden not once, but twice. He takes notice of her when others are writing her off as crazy and discovers what, specifically, has been plaguing her since she was turned fae. Not even Nesta really made that effort.
Not to mention, she calls his scars beautiful, which is something he is deeply insecure about.
He grows to care for her, but not yet romantically, as evidenced by his continued feelings for Mor. He probably didn't consider it given his feelings, her struggles, her mating bond, and her engagement.
But then he was the first to think of her when something mysterious went through the war camp. He was the first to volunteer to get her out, and he didn't want to let her go even when he was injured.
I think the rescue is when he first starts to realize that he cares for Elain more than normal. In fact, he cared for her enough that when the final battle came, he gave her Truth-Teller, something he never let another person touch before. Not even Mor, the person he's loved for 500 years.
From Elain's perspective, she's never been lower. She's lost her whole future she was excited for, she lost her mortality, and now she's seeing things others can't and is doing her best to communicate it but people aren't understanding her.
Then, someone listens. Someone figures it out. The very person who had taken her out to the garden and was content to sit quietly with her. The very person who had made her feel comfortable the first time the big scary fae came into her home when she was still human.
He pulled her out of that murky realm because he listened to her. Because he saw her when even her mate couldn't.
Of course, Elain still held out hope that she could marry Graysen. She wasn't about to jump into a relationship with anyone else. She wasn't interested.
But then he rejected her and she was clearly upset about it. While she was wallowing in her tent, the Cauldron kidnaps her and takes her right into the middle of the enemy's camp, which must have been horrifically terrifying. When she was chained and gagged and waiting for her captors to decide what to do with her, her rescuers arrive, and the first face she saw was the very same one that rescued her from her own mind.
"You came for me."
After helping her twice, she is now not only comfortable around him, but trusts him completely. So when he offers her his knife, she takes it, trusting what he offers her more than Cassian.
Then, of course, she was actually able to use TT, but that doesn't really affect the development of their relationship, so I'm gonna ignore it for now.
ACOFAS
This is where it starts to pick up.
Coming into this book, we now know that Elain and Azriel care for each other, but it's too early for either of them to jump into a relationship.
Elain is still mourning her relationship with Graysen.
Azriel still clearly has some residual feelings for Mor. There are some longing glances at her, a blush on his cheeks when she gives him a shitty present. But it's important to note that this is the last time we see that from him. We never see it again after the headache powder.
The other moments between Elain and Az in this book are great. The potatoes, his approaching her to wish her a happy solstice, they show us that these two characters have some budding feelings for each other, but the headache powder is by far the most significant moment because it changes everything.
Not only did it make him laugh in a way that took Feyre completely by surprise, but after centuries of receiving the most half-assed, mediocre gifts from the woman he loved, someone came along (someone who he already had some feelings for) and gave him a personal gift. A gift to show that she saw him, that she cared for him.
And then the two of them stayed up to the middle of the night talking about gardening. Azriel engages with Elain's interests and is trying to see her the way she clearly saw him.
ACOSF
We get less time with the two of them in this book, but that makes sense given that Nesta needed space from her sisters to heal.
But this is the book where it's pointed out to us through Cassian's POV that Az no longer seemed interested in Mor.
We see Az and Elain share a shy smile across the dinner table.
We see Az following the sound of Elain's laughter and "something charged" between them.
We see Nesta understand why Az keeps a distance at Solstice and she gives us "his secret to tell never hers"
All of this is meant to show us that they have feelings for each other. I don't believe it is yet love, but there is something there. Their feelings for others no longer seem to be an issue, the issue now is the mating bond. Which leads me to...
The bonus chapter
This BC is the final confirmation of Elain and Azriel's feelings.
They exchange thoughtful gifts, they nearly share a kiss, and they clearly have a mutual sexual attraction as well.
I'm sorry but you cannot tell me it's only lust on Az's part because of the headache powder, the thing that he's kept next to his bed and started at for a year.
He's not the type of person to lose so much sleep over being horny. It's been made clear to us on numerous occasions that he has no problem getting laid.
He wouldn't be willing to fight and possibly kill someone just for sex, either.
In the same way that the Nessian bonus chapter showed us that the barrier for their relationship was Nesta herself, I believe Az's bonus chapter is meant to show us that his barrier for a relationship with Elain would be the mating bond.
And that's it, really! That's how I think Elriel has developed throughout the books. Their development hasn't been loud and in your face because that's not who they are as people. They are quiet and keep their feelings to themselves, and that's reflected in how their romance has started.
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