#which sums up Tim's life so...

[oncillabrigade]

I'm sure someone has said this before but...

I think it would be really funny if Scarecrow fear-gassed Tim and just, like... nada. Red Robin keeps walking right towards him, no mask for the toxins, just breathing it in, and beats Scarecrow's sorry ass back into Arkham.

Crane is panicking: what went wrong with the gas? Was it sabotaged? Have the bats figured out how to metabolize it somehow? Is Red Robin not a human? What is going on???

Meanwhile, in the Batcave, everyone is asking Tim how he did it, and he's like, "um. I didn't get gassed? Like, I was having a trauma-induced hallucinogenic episode, don't get me wrong! I saw loved ones dying everywhere; Bruce hating me; failing at everything I do because I'm not actually smart, just lucky... the usual. But it wasn't Scarecrow's doing. That just happens."

And then a minute later he's like, "although that hallucination did have a lot of spiders in it... holy shit, I might have been fear-gassed."

[wei-ying-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those of you who don’t know, I decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus, which is comprised of 9 units. I have completed four of the units (here is my queer cinema syllabus round up post with all the films I’ve watched and written about so far). It is time for me to make my way through Unit 6- Gems, which includes the following films: Big Eden, Shelter, Weekend, Private Romeo, Were the World Mine, The Birdcage, Make the Yuletide Gay, The Sum of Us, Boy Erased, Boys, Summer Storm, C.R.A.Z.Y., North Sea Texas, Saturday Church, Boy Meets Girl, The Adventers of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Too Wong Foo Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar.

Today I will be watching:

Big Eden (2000) dir. Thomas Bezucha

[Run Time: 1h 58m, Language: English]

Summary: A thirty-something gay guy, Henry Hart, returns to his childhood Montana home to confront his unrequited passion for his high school best friend.

Cast: - Arye Gross as Henry Hart - Eric Schweig as Pike Dexter - Tim DeKay as Dean Stewart - George Coe as Sam "Sampa" Hart

IT WAS BIG EDEN DAY Y’ALL!!!!! DON'T LET THE STARS GET IN YOUR EYES, DON'T LET THE MOON BREAK YOUR HEART!!!!

When I saw this was on Ben’s syllabus I was so fucking excited because this is one of my favorite movies of all time. Listen, I have watched plenty of movies plenty of times, but this is one of the few films that I have seen where I legitimately watched it back to back. Like, fully the first time that I watched it I immediately started it back over because this film is a drug to me. 

Simply put this is a kind film that is just packed full of love and I am so grateful that we have some stories set in a very small town where homophobia is not a concern. We talk about the bubble in BL a lot and this film is kinda like a bubble show, but Henry’s very clear hesitation to tell Sampa that he is queer is a good way to still hint at the fact that homophobia does exist in this world and that Big Eden just doesn’t really do that. In this day and age with the current political climate being what it is, it is just comforting to be able to see a bunch of older cishet white men get thoroughly invested in helping Pike get his man. 

I LOVE THIS FILM. 

gif by @ballumville

It is really hard to talk about this film because every time I think about it legitimately I just get heart eyes and cease to put on an analytical brain about it. But now that I have to write about it, I gotta try to get some level of coherent thought out of it. 

The dichotomy between Dean and Pike is such a fascinating part of this film for me because Dean is straight and thus more openly affectionate with Henry and Pike is queer and therefore ready to run away every chance he gets when the boy he likes is in the room. I love this exploration Dean has around his own sexuality insofar as it is clear that he deeply loves Henry, but that that love is at the end of the day platonic and familial. But Dean kisses Henry in this movie. Like he tries so hard to give Henry what he wants because he knows how much Henry has been suffering from the two-decade crush Henry has had on him. It is one of my favorite aspects of this film. Whenever I sit down to watch it, I never feel like Dean is queer and just scared to pursue it, I feel like he is straight and is trying to pursue queerness because of how much he cares for Henry.

gif by @ober-affen-geil

But he just can’t. And that is heartbreaking to watch because Henry and Dean both know it from the start, but Dean is trying desperately to do whatever he can to keep Henry in his life, and to give him comfort. Thinking of this film in the context of this syllabus which is a lead up to BL, so many BLs have the general trope of “straight except for you” and though this film is not BL it could have very easily fallen in to that same category of Dean actually being queer by the end of the film, and I am really glad that they still allowed his straightness to exist.

Pike on the other hand, is very aware that he is queer, and he also deeply loves Henry, but in the romantic sense. And Pike is just a generally quiet and shy person compared to Dean. But whenever he and Henry are in the same room it looks like he is in physical pain being there, and that is so fucking fun to watch. This man is down bad. This man learns to cook and doesn’t tell Henry about it because he is just 6’2” of unadulterated devotion. I love whenever a story employs the concept of “food as love” and to see Pike work on continuously more complex dishes as his love for Henry continues to escalate just makes me want to scream. I love this man so much. I love him so much and I am so glad that he gets the guy at the end, because though I am not the biggest fan of Henry myself, all I could ever hope for in the history of the world is Pike’s happiness. 

gif by @ballumville

God there are just so many incredible relationship dynamics in this film. The way that Sampa knows that Henry is queer and is just waiting for him to tell him, the way that Sampa tries on multiple occasions to open the door and allow Henry space to come out. As someone whose parent confronted me about my own queerness and forced a conversation that neither of us was ready to have, I have such intense respect for the way that Sampa handled the last conversation he and Henry had about it. The way that he let Henry know that he knows and he is okay with it without coming right out to say it, without forcing the conversation, and honestly in my opinion, absolving Henry of the need to come out to him if he was too scared to do so. I know Henry still regrets not telling Sampa he is gay before Sam passed, but I also know at that point he didn’t have to. 

And I just have to give a shout out to Jim. Jim really is just sitting there holding Pike’s hand the whole way through trying to nudge him along until he gets what he wants. He knows that Pike is shy and he knows that Pike is scared, and is going to do whatever he can to get Pike to take the bigger risks. All the beloved old farts that park themselves in front of the general store every day are not so subtly, subtly push these two together. 

And of course, I just have to give a shout out to Widow Thayer for how she lets Henry know that she knows that he’s gay by inviting a fuck ton of gay men in to Henry’s home for a social gathering. The look on Henry’s face when he realizes what is happening is absolutely priceless.

All this to say, the film is a warm hug and everyone should watch it.

Favorite Moment 

Okay so the thing is there are a ton of great moments in the film, and before I talk about my absolute favorite one, I need to shout out the Thanksgiving fight between Dean and Henry because it is so good and so devastating “Screw you Henry Hart, I do know what love is. You. You are my family.” HELLO???????????????? Stabbing me in the chest would hurt less. 

gif by @tvandfilm

BUT. I think the award of WYKA’s favorite Big Eden scene is Jim’s conversation with Pike. The way he already bodied Pike in the “I’m just cooking food here.” “If only that were true.” conversation was excellent. But this is fundamentally a film about loving and being loved, and so my favorite scene is the one where Jim is trying to get Pike to stop delivering his love to Henry anonymously. The conversation Jim and Pike have where Pike is still vehemently trying to deny that he has feelings for Henry by telling Jim “I just want things to be nice for him,” Which? DEVASTATING. THAT LINE IS A GUT PUNCH EVERY FUCKING TIME I HEAR IT. To have Jim’s response be “The thing is Pike, we want things to be nice for you too, buddy.” It is so clear to me how important Pike is to the community, but to Jim and the rest of his posse especially. I just love that Jim takes the time to try to remind Pike that taking care of Henry quietly from the sidelines is just going to leave Pike continuously hurt, because how is Henry supposed to know that Pike cares about him when he is constantly fleeing the room whenever they are in the same space and when he lets Henry think that Widow Thayer is the one that is making all that food for him. 

Have I mentioned that I love Pike Dexter?

Favorite Quote

“Did I teach you shame? Did I teach you that? Cause it would break my heart if I had.” 

Sampa loves Henry and he wants Henry to know that he is a safe person to talk to, that he knows Henry is queer and keeping it from him, and that he wants Henry to tell him. This line also makes me so sad all the time because I know that it’s not true. That Sampa did not teach Henry shame, and I feel so badly that Henry’s (very reasonable) fear of coming out to the only living family member that he has left has placed Sampa in a position where he is worried that he has failed to make Henry feel safe and secure in who he is. 

gif by @thegirlbehindthegasmask

Score 

10/10

Is this actually a perfect movie? Fuck no. There are plenty of things I could nitpick with it, including the fact that I genuinely do not like Henry all that much as far as characters go. BUT. Every single time I watch this movie I am just overflowing with joy, and thus I will not be objective about the quality of the film. 

THIS FILM IS PERFECT BECAUSE PIKE DEXTER IS IN IT AND YOU WILL NEVER CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE!!

gif by @fred-erick-frankenstein

[rithalie-writes]

Batman on bedrest - a crack dcxdpxml idea

Okay so they really didn’t think this through.

“It’s the seventh time he’s snuck out!”

“We don’t need a count Grayson, what we need is to find him!”

You see, Batman was missing.

Not in action, may I add. No, he was missing in the most mundane way, as in “no one is sure where he is but definitely not where he should be” way. You see, Batman was hurt.

Badly enough hurt that the Justice League made a collective decision to put him on strict bed rest in the Justice League’s orbiting base medbay - with Clark and Diane as the loudest advocates for the decision. Nightwing and the rest of the Gotham troop were hot on their heels, with even Red Hood scared for the life of the broodiest member of the League. His youngest child was in his twenties already, Bruce Wayne was definitely past his prime! The problem was that Batman did not want to rest.

The seventh time he snuck out, Batfamily stopped pulling their punches. They called every possible family member to the Base, including the newest addition - Damian’s twin brother Danyal, and his ward Danielle, in hopes that the presence of youngest (possible to call) offspring, will finally make him stay in bed.

Which it did. For half an hour until the teenager fell asleep.

“You’re a ghost!” Whined Nightwing, flashing a flashlight into the vents, lifted up in the air by bashful Ellie, “how can you even fall asleep?!”

“The school has been hard lately, ok? I just closed my eyes for a minute!”

“Less talking, more searching!” Commandeered Robin, stalking the hall with levitating Phantom hot on his heels.

“This is utterly ridiculous” muttered Tim, sitting cross legged on the cafeteria table and clicking away at his tablet in search of Batman on the camera feed “he is practically a grandpa already, how can he hide so well?!”

“Wait!” Dick shouted so loud that Ellie let go of him on reflex, the man somehow landing on his feet with grace of an acrobat, “Grandpa! Tim you’re a genius!”

Tim blinked, surprised as Dick scrambled for his phone, dialing a number so fast he had to try again, “what did I say?”

“Batman is a grandparent!” Dick half-whispered, aware that not everyone on Justice League was aware of the news, “I’m calling Corr to see if she can get Ma’ri here!”

“Simply plucking a grandchild on him might do the trick” Damian nodded gravely, “especially if it’s a young one.”

“Either that or we call our sister. I bet she could scare him straight,” shrugged Danny.

For a moment everyone simply stared at Danyal. Then the chaos of words erupted.

“We could have done that two escapes ago?!”

“Why didn’t you remind us sooner?!”

“Oooh that would be so much easier than calling Corr from her off planet vacation, don’t make that eyes on me Dick, I know you miss her but for gods sake she deserves that free time.”

“It’s settled then?” Asked Damian, just as Superman came into the room, wandering what the screaming was about, “we call Amari as soon as we find him. I’ll text her to prepare for video call”

“Who’s Amari? And how can she help?” Clark wondered out loud but Danny just smiled. “You’ll see. You’ll see.”

They found Batman half an hour later, bent over some files in the remote corner of the warehouse compartment. They all but dragged him to medbay, with him grumbling all the way. “Karma, old man,” grinned Red Hood as he deposited Batman in his bed. “You have a call.”

“Is it fine for anyone to see Batman in such state?” Asked Wonder Woman, looking nervously at the literal mass of bandages that made the man look more like a mummy than man. “He’s not exactly presentable.”

“It’s fine, it’s family.” Summed up Tim, setting up the giant TV on the wall in front of the bed. Superman exchanged a surprised look with Wonder Woman, not expecting that answer.

Soon, the screen flickered to life, showing them all an unexpected figure. A young man in his twenties, with a shock of blond hair and a generic black mask over very, very green eyes. Wonder Woman straightened up at the sight, recognizing the figure in an instant, despite the lack of the usual outfit and the black cat ears.

“Chat noir?” She asked, surprised. She knew who the avatar of destruction was, of course. She never expected them to meet like that though.

The wry smile that the man sported wobbled a little at the sight of so many people, including Superman and Wonder Woman, surrounding the bed of a very disgruntled Batman.

“It’s not the best time for a call.” He whispered, looking over his shoulder at something or someone. Only now could the present people see that he was dressed in jumper and sweatpants, non-descriptive and clearly domestic. The jumper had wet spots on it, and something that looked suspiciously like food splatters on it. He was clearly not expecting a call.

“We need to talk to Amari” Damian was not asking, but commandeering and Chat Noir sent him a flat look. “It’s important.” He added after a moment.

“No, you don’t understand.” Chat noir run his hand through his blond hair, messing it up even more. It’s already looked like a rats nest and the movement did not help. “We just got Emma into bed. She’s been fussing all week, she’s sick. We haven’t slept in a week, I think.” He furrowed his brows, “or at least three days.”

“You could have called” pointed out Red Hood, surprising about everyone in the room except for Dick and maybe Bruce, “I would help.”

“Yeah, we appreciate that but the flat is in no room for guests - even family. Ma- Amari would kill me if I invited anyone over.”

“We need to talk to her.”

“Nope. No way - she’s napping.” Chat noir shook his head “kwami knows she needs that.”

“I don’t see why you need to bother Amari with the call right now” grumbled Batman, glaring at his youngest “I’m fine.”

The sound of collective eye roll must have reached even Chat because he snickered before Batman glared at him too. Then he coughed, “with all due respect, you don’t look fine, sir.”

“The chat noir, the literal avatar of the god of destruction is calling you sir?” wondered Superman, raising his brow. He did not miss Diane’s lessons “how did that happen.”

“It happens” grinned Nightwing and Phantom, as they spoke in unison, exchanging amused looks.

“Yeah, that happens when you knock up Batman’s daughter the day after she turns twenty.”

Chat noir grimaced, Superman coughed in surprise and even Wonder Woman’s eyes bulged a little. She knew that Batman had a biological child. She suspected it must have been Robin. But to hear it spoken so plainly? Was she wrong to assume Batman had a son?

“You make it sound so bad. We were engaged!” Whined Chat Noir, raising his voice a little. Batman glared at him, clearly reminded of the fact and not happy with it.

Something behind Chat Noir moved, and he jumped around so fast they lost a vision for a moment. A hushed conversation could be heard, after which the man quickly left the room and came back with another generic mask in hand, red this time. He gave it to the lump of blankets resting on the couch, and it rippled as someone clearly tried to detangle themselves from the nest.

The young woman was black-haired and blue-eyed and she glared at the congregation with the same tired force as Batman did after the meeting ran three hours too long. Wonder Woman felt a sudden need to go and pray to her patron for luck - and benevolence because if that was the Ladybug, the avatar of creation…

“I’m Amari. Where’s the fire?” She deadpanned, clearly tired and cranky. She slowly lifted herself up from the couch with Chat Noir’s help who seemed to fret over her more than usual. The reason was shown almost immediately.

Ladybug was very much pregnant.

“We need your help.” Damian went straight to the point, “Father here won’t let himself stay in bed and heal.”

Oh, so Batman had multiple children. Wonder Woman felt a little shaken - and apparently one of them was the avatar of creation. A being so powerful she could literally change the shape of the world as they knew it.

Wonderful.

“Oh really?” Amari - or Ladybug as she was called glared a little harder, one hand resting on her belly. “And I suppose he must stay in bed for his own good?”

“Yes, and he already sneaked out seven times!” Added Ellie cheerfully, “Hi aunt ‘mari! Hi Black Cat!”

So the king of the dead was Batman’s son too. Great.

A literal titan.

Winder Woman felt a little faint.

“Yes, hello darling,” crooned Ladybug, smiling for the first time in the call, “I see they called all the big guns to help already.”

“You’re pretty much the last resort here sis.” Shrugged Danny, “it’s either your intervention or straight up tying the man up and I suppose he’d have an answer to that in five minutes.”

“You assume correctly,” Batman shook his head at his kids’ antics “There’s no need for any intervention Ladybug, my injuries are superficial-“

“They’re soooo not,” stage-whispered Ellie.

“The old man almost keeled over” added Red Hood.

“Yes, thank you for the commentary,” snapped Batman, “But I’ll be fine in the day or two.”

“Oh I bet you will,” Ladybug nodded, smiling that serene smile that made shivers crawl up Superman’s smile. Is that what Batman’s smile looks like? “IF you stay in bed and rest.”

“Amari-“

“Do you want me to come?” She threatened, and Chat noir made a strangled sound and a violent gesture of ‘abort mission’ behind her back. “Do you really want your seven-months-pregnant-with-twins daughter travel to space to make sure my kids grandfather stays in bed so that he can live a little bit longer?”

“Because I will do it.” She said when no one spoke, “I love you dad, and I need you in good shape so that little Louis and Hugo may meet their grandpere in his full strength.”

“This is blackmail,” Batman shuffled in bed nervously, “this is emotional stand-off.”

“I’m pregnant, my kid is sick and I’ve been awake for the last 36 hours.” Ladybug’s smile grew a little tight, “my husband has not slept in three days and he’s been holding down the fort almost by himself for the last four months. I’m way past the ‘blackmail’ stage”

“I see.”

“I’ll send Jazz up?” Offered Danny, “Ellie can tag along too.”

“Maybe it is time for reinforcements,” muttered Chat Noir.

“We will talk about it,” Ladybug nodded, then focused all her attention on her father. She stood to the side, showing off just how big she’s gotten since they last saw her and the batfamily had the satisfaction to see Batman actually gulp nervously.

“So dad?” She asked, saccharingly sweet “will you stay in bed like the doctors asked or do you want me to come over there to make sure you do?”

Batman sighed, visibly deflating, “One day,” he tried to negotiate.

“Kitty, help me pack my bag-“

“Okay! I’ll stay!”

“Good. Love you dad.” Ladybug smiled honestly, if a little tired, “Wait with extreme maneuvers at least after you teach my kids how to multiply by seven, will you?”

“Can’t promise that,” Batman also smiled, a real smile, “but i will try.”

Ladybug nodded, satisfied.

“One more thing,” Batman glared at both Diane and Clark, daring them to say anything before he looked back it his daughter, “love you too.”

Ladybug send her dad a kiss as she disconnected the call.

The next day, Batman woke up to see the tiny, black-haired and green-eyed child crawling up into his bed. Emma Wayne-Agreste babbled at her grandfather happily as he hugged her with one working hand, noticing she’s still a little hot to the touch. He could see Adrien Agreste, in full superhero paraphernalia, waving at him from the door, with Nightwing dragging him out of the medbay and towards the communal room with coffee in hand. Later he would learn that Jazz and Ellie went to stay with Marinette while Adrien was officially invited to the Base with his kid, to give both young parents a chance to rest.

For now though, he let his granddaughter snuggle under the covers with him, letting her smack him with her plush bat in the process. Yeah, he was not getting out of that bed for a while it seemed.

It suddenly did not seem so bad.

[caprisunr]

Regardless if Tim has been meaning to do this on purpose, if it sort of became a thing somewhere along the way, or he didn't at all—there's a notable similarity in the way Maddie and Eddie are approached from a characterization standpoint in the show's writing room. Which has eventually led me to believe that if ‘Buddie’ does ever end up actually happening, it will come about paralleling ‘Madney’ in some capacity. 

I am not the first person to vocalise that these two characters [Eddie Diaz and Maddie Han (Buckley)] seem to parallel each other in more than the typical three-way patterning. 

But to talk about Eddie and Maddie and how they're constantly in equidistant loop to each other, I need to talk about how Chimney and Buck's essence is essentially each face of the same coin to support two very similar counterparts—they bear a subtle resemblance with the way their storylines align. If we hark back to season 1: Chim is stuck on Tatiana; to whom he poses for as this perfect all-rounder hero. With Tatiana, Chimney becomes the kid who in order to be somebody worth sticking around for [he] has to prove that he's of value — Buck is stuck on his sex rendezvouses (before Abby a few episodes later), stuck in this unhealthy whorl where he copes with people leaving and nobody wanting to stick around, by having short-lived affairs.

During season 1 their [Chim and Buck] storylines are pretty much a sum of poor choices that eventually help them, or deceive them into thinking for a while that they have found themselves. They constantly find reassurance in being valued for what they think makes them an indispensable part of their compeer’s life, to no avail, when they come face to face with the fact that neither [Tatiana or Abby] had plans of sticking around for them —Chim who was ready to take the next step by proposing, and Buck who was already deeply involved in Abby’s life and practically living in her house. They are both left at the altar with their vows in-hand with a run-away bride.

During season 2 we have Chim and Tatiana seeing each other again after 6-ish months since she fled. Tatiana is pregnant and engaged, a future she didn't see viable with him. And During season 3 we have Buck and Abby seeing each other again after two years approx. Abby is engaged to a man that has two daughters, a future that she never thought about with Buck — both episodes end with them re-linking to have one last conversation that'll allow them to cross-over the bridge. 

Chim and Buck both suffer similar deteriorating self-esteem issues when it comes to conceiving an honest relationship that doesn't only rely on the physical —until Maddie and Eddie are introduced, and Buck seems to break free from Abby’s curse a couple of episodes later (closing chapter completely when he has that last conversation that helps him understand where she was coming from), and Chimney has left Tatiana and his concerns about his life altering trauma long forgotten. 

Season 2 episode 1 ‘Under Pressure’; Buck meets Eddie through work introduced by Bobby who had just hired the latter. Three episodes later during ‘Help is not coming’ (the earth-quake finale from the two-parter), Buck drives Eddie to pick Christopher up in an emotionally umpt scene. Maddie mentions Buck having a boy crush on Eddie and if that meant he was ready to move out of Abby’s place during episode four, the same one where later Buck ‘steps in’ Eddie's life and introduces Carla Pierce to him [Eddie] so she can take care of Christopher (his son) while he works. And then in episode 17 of season two, Shannon (Eddie's estranged wife) dies. —  Chimney meets Maddie through Buck introducing them at her house-move-in during season 2 episode 6, where he helps her install camera devices so she is safe (not yet aware of Doug.) Maddie tells Buck ‘he is so cute’ (to which he thinks she's referring to Eddie) in that same scene. They become acquainted and start hanging out, and two episodes later Buck notes they're dating without actually knowing it. After denying it, Maddie and Chim have their first date in episode 11 (unsuccessfully as Doug kidnaps Maddie and stabs Chimney), that same episode Maddie kills Doug (her abusive ex-husband) in self-defense. 

Before misfortune knocks on their doors Chimney and Buck approach their respective relationships without any expectations. Buck starts by head-butting in a one-sided fight with Eddie where he feels overthrown by his competency and fears his place is in jeopardy, only to turn up for both of them to be complementary in the field and work together perfectly in unison. And Chim by going over to his co-worker’s sister house to help with some security system management, only to start hanging out with her exponentially until it becomes so easy to be with each other that they fall in to this lovely routine that leads to love. — Simultaneously, Eddie and Buck also start falling into the same routine, that leads to Buck co-parenting Christopher naturally.

In spite of whether you consider ‘Buddie’ romantically inclined or not by the narrative—Chimney and Buck's storylines align again, when after being done with their necessary-evil relationships they come to find a complimentary companion, at the same time. 

Not only do their storylines align, but so do the salient subtleness and self-centric cerberus when it comes to their surly temperament with their respective parents, vs. them having each a postiche family:

Chimney's father is notoriously an entrenched man who barely took notice or interest of little Howard or his wife when they lived under the same roof. He was difficult to impress (stoic), uninterested, neglectful—the latter worsening when Jee-Hyun Han (Chimney's mother) passed away from cancer. During his early years, as stated in the show, Chimney tried really hard to obtain his father's approval, futilely. His abortive tries ended up resulting in deception, so he gave up on building any further relationship with his care-taker [father]. They moved to the USA, and ultimately only his father went back to Korea after Chimney's mother stayed on her ground about staying there for the time forward. Unfortunately, as I said, his mother [Jee-Hyun Han] would end up dying years later when he is 14-15, and the Lee’s [Jee-Hyun Han's best friends who had a kid, Kevin, his age] took his tutelage — Buck was the youngest of 3 (unknown to him at that point.) Both of his parents were complex characters who were devoted to their own grief and catastrophic premonitions, that would turn into a repelling force of care-giving. Buck was nescient to the reasonings behind his birth, that he'd been purposefully tethered to higher responsibilities; conceived to be bed out to another body, to be the saviour of the brother he didn't know existed. Margaret Buckley is shown as highly depressed, cynically negging, a gaslighter, caught up in her vexation and showing signs of someone that is predestinarian. Philip Buckley is an enabler, repressedly angry, also a gaslighter, and conveniently demanding. They're both neglectful emotionally and physically, meeting Buck's demands momentarily to fulfill their guilty consciousness. Buck spends his childhood and teenage years trying to make himself visible, to the point of getting hurt on purpose for crumbs of their attention. He is unsuccessful to obtain their love at all, and leaves eventually after he's kicked out of college.

It is not surprising then, that Chimney and Buck, who have been abandoned by their primary care-givers and have fought to get their attention suffer from issues recognising their worth and don't step back from a fight to defend themselves when faced with the incognitas and comments from their parents. They're both reactive to stimuli, and use their fight mode to confront the world as seen multiple times. 

Before becoming a firefighter Chimney hustles. He works multiple jobs trying to find a way to make ends meet while simultaneously searching for something that calls to him. He ends up working sometimes at a bar under Kevin's management. Unfortunately the bar is at a loss. But he finds that throughout helping people exit the establishment calmly and effectively, most importantly, safely, he wants to be a firefighter. Chimney is 25-26 at this point, as it dates 2005. — Buck spends the rest of what's left of his twenties cross-country with his jeep. He tries many jobs, and strolls without a purpose all over the country. At some point he ends up in Perú. He's working at a beach-bar when Connor (friend of his) approaches him with a proposition of going to LA, where Buck eventually finds his way to the fire academy and the 118. Buck is 25-26 at this point, as stated in the show that he is 26 whilst being a probie in s1. 

There's a parallel in both age and situational that brings them to being firefighters at the end. 

Chimney unfortunately loses Kevin in an emergency, who also becomes a firefighter with him. He is also at risk of losing Albert (step-brother) when his car flips over in a drunk-driver accident while Maddie is giving birth. He also loses Maddie same instances as Buck. — Buck feels the secret of Daniel (older brother who lost his life to juvenile-leukemia) throughout his life like a curse. Almost loses Maddie the first time to Doug kidnapping her, and a second time to Amber (the serial killer) kidnapping her and slashing her throat while pregnant with her second child. He thinks he's lost Eddie during the well incident, then loses Eddie during the sniper arch when he gets shoot, and thinks he's almost lost him again when Christopher calls him about Eddie's breakdown where he destroys his own room.

Chimney finds parents who love him in the Lee’s — Buck finds parents that love him in Bobby and Athena. 

The subsequent likeness in their [Chim and Buck's] storylines is the quintessence of the matter that leads to Maddie and Eddie also being tantamount. They work as a mirage of their stories' intertextuality. Something that came about to me while watching 8x12 last night. The chance that we would get an episode centric on Eddie and Maddie were slim, but never none, and the way it was done so shows what I stated previously — Essentially the nature of their stories being paralleled. 

[dangraccoon]

Untitled Spreadsheet - PRIVATE

Chapter 13 - Review

Word Count: 1326

Content: the end of the war, clone rights are sentient rights, clones making their own government, a clone cadet accidentally parent-trapping Cody and Obi-Wan, Rex and Padmé getting so excited, both of them finally making a move

For @literallyjustanerd, based on this post

Mando'a Guide Ara'gotenir Tolase - Clone System; essentially the government for the clones Tsad'alor - group leader; something like a senator verd'ika - private (like the rank, although is often used affectionally for a child as "little soldier) orikih - tiny aar'ika - little pain, sting Gar cuy ori'jaon'yc bah ni, ratiin - You are important to me, always jetii'dral - the Force (lit. Jedi power) Ni kar'taylir gar suvarir mando'a, ner jetii - I know you understand mando'a, my jedi

The celebrations lasted several weeks. The ceasefire, peace agreement, and reintroduction to the Republic on the last CIS planet meant an official end to the war, almost exactly five years since it had begun. 

And with the end of the war, the Senate passed the Clone Rights Bill unanimously, and included provisions for housing, work, and back pay, which no one outside the Senate knew about. Cody would never forget the sight of millions of brothers crying out in joy because they were finally free. No, he wouldn’t forget that for the rest of his life.

Cody was free, though he tried not to think about it very much.

The GAR wouldn’t be dissolved completely, but used for aid missions, security forces, and other projects as needed. The clones would be paid for their labor as well as a sum of credits for their service in the war. 

Cody chose to remain in what they’d named the Ara’gotenir Tolase–though they usually just called it the AT–as a representative for those previously under his command. Really, they’d become something of a miniature Republic. 

Cody tapped away at his datapad, sipping his caf. 

“Tsad’alor Cody?” a small voice called from the doorway of his office. 

He looked up to see a cadet, maybe only four or five. “Hello there. What can I do for you, verd’ika?”

The kid fidgeted, looking down at his boots. 

Cody smiled and rose from his seat. “Why don’t you come in and sit down?” He gestured to the small seating area next to his desk. It was used more often for him crashing on the couch after working all night than it was for company, but he was happy for the change. 

“Yessir,” the cadet said as he did, sitting somewhat awkwardly on one of the chairs, and Cody tried not to cringe at the way his “orders” were immediately followed. 

“Try to relax,” he instructed as he sat on the couch. Not directly next to the boy, not far away. “I’m not a Commander anymore. You don’t have to use my rank or my title. You can just call me Cody, if you want.”

The kid nodded, but seemed to find the fabric of the chair far more interesting than Cody. 

“What’s your name, brother?”

“I-I don’t have one,” he mumbled after a moment. “My… my batchmates call me orikih.”

Cody nodded. “But do you like to be called that?”

The boy shook his head immediately. “No, sir! I hate it when they tease me just ‘cause I came outta the tubes all shrunk!”

Cody’s brows lifted. He hadn’t expected the outburst.

“I’m sorry, si– um, Ori’vod,” the boy muttered. 

“No need to apologize, verd’ika,” he smiled softly, scooching to the edge of his seat. “Can I let you in on a secret?”

It was the kid’s turn to look surprised. He nodded eagerly. 

Cody leaned in closer, making a show of looking over his shoulders around his empty office. “I was the little one in my batch and–”

“Really?”

“Yes, I was very orikih, too,” he grinned. “But that’s not what my batchers called me.” 

The cadet watched him with wide eyes. Cody felt his heart warm even more than it had when the boy had come in. 

“They liked to tease me by calling me aar’ika,” he chuckled.

To Cody’s surprise and his utter joy, his little brother laughed. It was a wonderful, musical sound that he hadn’t heard in some time.

“They call you ‘little pain’?”

“They did! Alpha-17 even did for a while.”

The kid’s smile faded as he returned to his quieter nature. His brow furrowed a little, the same way all their vode did. “How did you make them stop?”

He smiled gently. “I won’t lie to you, verd’ika,” he said, very seriously. “They didn’t stop for a long time. Our batch’s twins–Fox and Wolffe–they’re more stubborn than an entire herd of banthas put together, but I did have someone on my side.”

Curiosity lit the boy’s face again. “Who?”

“It was Prime, himself,” a new voice called from the doorway. “And he gave him a new name: Kote.”

Cody nearly broke his neck, turning to see General Kenobi, leaning against the door frame. It had been nearly a year since he’d seen his old General in person, not that Cody had counted. Cody felt like he’d been sent back in time. Kenobi looked all the same and all different. His eyes still sparkled that electrifying blue, his beard still sat neatly around his face, and his lips still pulled in a small smile. He’d grown his hair out though; the auburn locks were tinted with gray at his temples and fell to his shoulders, the top half tied back. 

And Cody was just as taken with him as he’d ever been.

The cadet seemed unsurprised, however, merely looking over and smiling. “Prime?”

Cody pulled himself out of his stun to grin at the boy again. “The very same.”

“Did you ask Tsad’alor Cody your questions, dear?” Kenobi asked. “He’s very busy taking care of you and all your brothers, so we mustn’t take up too much of his time.”

“Master Obi-Wan, he told me to just call him Cody,” the boy chastised.

Cody and Kenobi hid their matching grins.

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry. Just Cody, then.” 

The boy sighed. “I asked Master Obi-Wan if the slowing treatment hurts and he said he didn’t know because he didn’t have it but I really want to know because I… a-and I know we have to be brave because we’re soldiers, but I’m scared, Ori’vod”

Cody’s heart just about broke in two. “I know big things like this are very frightening. I was nervous before I had the treatment and I–” he cut himself off; he didn’t want to frighten the kid with tales of the procedures the first few generations had undergone at the hands of the Kaminoans. “I’ve been through a lot of scary treatments. But our vode jah’ade are the best of the best and the jetiise who look after you all are the kindest there are.”

The boy nodded, but still seemed apprehensive. 

“We don’t always need to be brave, vod,” he continued. “We don’t need to be anything we don’t want to be. Mhi cuy mav jii.”

“Mhi cuy mav jii,” the cadet repeated slowly. It was something many of the clones had taken to saying, like a quiet remembrance for their past and a hopeful prayer for their future. 

After another moment, his eyes lit up. Cody recognized that particular spark. “Cody?”

“Yes, vod?”

“I know my name,” he breathed. “Mav.”

Cody smiled, letting all his pride bleed into it. “It has been so wonderful to meet you, Mav.”

Mav smiled back at him, but then he pounced, wrapping Cody in a tight hug. “Vor’e, Cody!”

Mav ran over to the General, beaming up at him.

“Mav is a good name,” he told him. “It suits you, little one. Will you wait for me in the hallway?”

“Yes, Master Obi-Wan,” Mav chirped, happily leaving. 

“And please don’t wander off this time!” he called after him. “I don’t want to have to send Hound after you again!”

Kenobi looked back at Cody, making his way toward him and they both broke out into light laughter.

“How have you been, General?” Cody asked. “Last I heard, you’ve busied yourself with the cadets?”

“Yes,” Kenobi chuckled. “It seems like an entire war surrounded by your brothers wasn’t quite enough.”

“I’ve been surrounded by my brothers my whole life and I cannot see the appeal,” Cody shrugged. 

The General smiled. “Well, I do admit that not all of them are as charming as you.”

Cody felt that old familiar ache in his chest, like he was being towed in on a fishing line. He breathed a laugh.

Kenobi sighed, turning away. “I’ve embarrassed you; I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” Cody stammered. “You haven’t, at all. I guess…”

Kenobi stepped a little closer to him. “You guess?”

Cody held his breath for a moment to keep from sighing. Kenobi was wearing the same fragrance as he had that night at 79s. Warm, hints of some kind of spice, and all too easily flooding his senses and pulling him closer.

“I, um– I guess I’ve fallen out of the habit of receiving your compliments, sir,” he managed. “They’re not unwelcome, of course, just… unexpected.”

Kenobi smiled and chuckled. Cody could feel his heart hammering against his ribs. 

“Cody, I-I feel I must tell you something,” he said, his smile fading slightly. “I couldn’t tell you during the war, and by the end we so rarely saw one another.”

“Yes?” Cody whispered. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Kenobi bit his lip, glancing away, but quickly closed the short distance between them. His lips pressed softly against Cody’s cheek for a moment, then near his ear.

“Gar cuy ori'jaon'yc bah ni, ratiin.”

Cody’s mouth opened with a soft gasp as Kenobi pulled away smiling. Somehow, his mind was simultaneously blank and overflowing with thoughts.

Kenobi nodded a goodbye, then left to find Mav. Cody had spent the last year ignoring the ache of missing General Kenobi, but it came in full force as he watched him walk away, chatting with one of his little brothers.

He kissed him. High Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Negotiator, a Jedi Master and member of the Jedi Council kissed him? Of course, it was only on the cheek, but it was so soft that he could only really describe it as tender.

His shaking hand touched his cheek–where General Kenobi kissed him–just at the end of his scar.

Wait. Wait, did Kenobi–

He replayed the moment in his mind, trying desperately to focus on what happened after he kissed him.

“Gar cuy ori’jaon’yc bah ni, ratiin.”

General Kenobi spoke mando’a, and fluently at that. No mispronunciations, no hesitance. 

Cody moved to his desk, flopping down in the chair and tapping the comm unit to call Rex.

“Hey, aren’t you at work? What’s up?”

“Rex, does General Kenobi know mando’a?”

The line was quiet for a moment. “What?”

“Does Kenobi know mando’a?” Cody repeated.

“Am I a kriffin’ holonet search?” Rex scoffed. “Why would I know that?”

“Ask Skywalker, then,” Cody huffed. 

“Cody, Anakin’s not–”

“Come on, Rex, I can hear his tubies in the background.”

Rex snorted. “The natborns call them babies, Codes. Anakin’s not here, but maybe Padmé will know.”

Cody heard the comm unit click against something and Rex’s retreating footsteps. He could hear Rex and Amidala’s voices, but couldn’t make out the words.

Then there were footsteps, and rustling. 

“Are you still there?” Senator Amidala asked. 

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “How are you, Senator?”

Amidala groaned. “You know better, Cody. Try again.”

Cody chuckled. “How are you, Padmé?”

“I’m doing very well, thank you, Cody.” He could hear the snarky grin in her voice. “Now, you want to know if Obi-Wan speaks mando’a?”

“Yes,” Cody breathed. He felt like he was very close to the edge of something, but he couldn’t tell if it would be better to stay that way or to simply fall.

“Well, it wouldn’t surprise me,” she said. “That man collects languages like they were rare antiques.”

“That’s an understatement,” he heard Rex scoff in the background.

“And he did spend a year on Mandalore protecting our friend Satine,” she continued. “I’m sure she taught him some mando’a… between everything else I’m sure she taught him.”

Cody’s mind whirled as Rex laughed loudly in the background and Padmé chuckled.

“When did he…”

“Oh, it was years ago, long before the war. They hadn’t even found Anakin– actually, I’m not sure he’d even been born.”

Cody felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs. “He… understood mando’a… the entire time?”

“He never said anything?” Rex asked. “The vode talked around him like they did with everyone and he never mentioned it?”

“Kriff,” he said simply. “Oh, kriff.”

“What is it?” Padmé asked. “I thought that would be nice.”

“Rex, do you remember that night we went to 79s and General Kenobi bought us drinks?”

The comm was quiet. “Yeah, yeah, Gregor and I left to give you two some space, but you never told me everything that happened that night. All I know is what you put on that damn spreadsheet you had.”

“I’m sorry, what spreadsheet?” Padmé asked, her voice filled with delight. 

Cody heard Rex mumble something about "you and Ahsoka" and “later”. 

“I gotta go,” Cody mumbled. 

He heard them answer, but he couldn’t quite process anything beyond the short tone that indicated the end of the call. 

Cody sat in his office, brow furrowed, waiting for his brain to actually start working.

Rex: cody 

Rex: when was the last time you looked at your spreadsheet

Cody: What? I stopped adding to it after that night. You know that. 

Rex: yeah okay but when did you look at it

Rex: codes you still there

Cody: Yes; I was thinking. I believe I looked at it near the end of the war, right before we shipped off to rebuild Christophsis. Why?

Rex: you might want to look at it

Rex: like now

Cody: Why?

Event: My dear, oblivious Commander left his datapad unattended on his desk with this document still open

Rational explanation: Cody is once again overtired from working so incredibly hard (as he is wont to do) and simply forgot to power down the datapad, too distracted by his sense of duty and work ethic, as admirable as they are detrimental to his sleep

Irrational explanation: The Commander shares in my affections but is simply so oblivious to my (rather obvious) signals that he feels the need to rationalise our interactions instead of accepting that we are, and indeed have been, flirting

Additional notes: In regard to the above: it meant everything and more to me, my darling x

Cody was getting out of the taxi before he even realized he’d gotten up from his desk. 

He’d accompanied the General to the Jedi Temple on several occasions, but he’d only come here alone once for his Deceleration treatment. Even then, Rex was already there, waiting for him. 

Their security was far more lax than Cody thought it should be, though he assumed their jetii’dral would alert them better than any other system would. 

“Hello,” a soft voice called. “Can I help you find where you’re going?”

He looked up the flight of stairs before him, his heart warming to see a familiar face. 

“Why, Cody,” General Ti smiled. “It’s been some time since you last visited.”

“Too long, Gen- Master Ti,” he agreed. 

“You look like you’re on a mission,” she hummed. “Is there anything I can help with?”

Cody felt his face flush slightly. “Actually, I’m looking for Gen- Master Kenobi.”

She smiled and gestured for him to follow her. “I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise you that Obi-Wan keeps a fairly regular schedule these days.”

“Not at all,” Cody agreed. “During the war, he always said our schedules were like ‘organized chaos’.”

Master Ti laughed lightly. “Yes, that does sound like him. Well, there’s only a few places he would be at this time; I’m sure we’ll find him quickly.”

Cody followed her through the halls until they got to an area labeled “Crèche”. 

A stern looking Togruta met Master Ti as they entered, but soon they were surrounded by cadets and younglings, all clamoring for Master Ti’s attention.

“Alright, alright, I promise I will look at all of your lovely drawings,” she laughed, quieting the kids. “But first, I need your help. Our friend Cody is looking for Master Obi-Wan.”

“He was with the little ones!” one of the kih’vod shouted. 

“Kybuck Clan,” an Initiate added.

Ti looked back towards Cody. “Do you know where their room is? Master Kiish can show you–”

“That’s alright, Masters,” Cody grinned. “You both seem to have your hands full here.”

He waved goodbye to the cadets that had been watching him and continued down the hallway, passing grand doors with elaborate designs with the symbols of the different creatures the clans were named for until he came across a Kybuck.

He took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

The rooms were circular, connected to one another in a way that reminded Cody a little of Kamino, but much warmer. And drier. 

Little scraps of flimsi covered practically any surface of the main room, colorful drawings of just about anything a young mind could imagine. They were scribbled and hard to make out, with scrawled lettering Cody could hardly read. His smile grew as he looked at them all the same. 

He heard a soft sigh and approaching footsteps. 

“That’s the last of the down for their naps,” Kenobi said, pulling his robe back on. “I’ll be back tomorrow for–”

Kenobi looked up, his eyes widening when he saw Cody and not whatever jetii he’d been expecting. 

“Hello there,” Cody whispered. 

Kenobi gathered himself quickly. “I must admit I’m surprised to see you again so soon.”

“A good surprise, I hope,” Cody smiled. 

Kenobi nodded. “A good surprise, indeed.”

Kenobi led him back through the crèche, pausing every so often to talk to the various little ones who ran up to him. 

“You’re quite popular around here,” Cody noted, then added nervously “We can talk another time–”

“No, please,” Kenobi said quickly. “I’d like to talk now.”

They were quiet as Kenobi led them up to his room. It was neat and warm, and Cody felt comfortable there almost immediately. 

“Would you like some caf?” Kenobi offered after insisting that Cody sit down at the small table. 

Cody chuckled. “You actually keep caf in here?”

“Anakin visits,” he hummed with a shrug. “And Ahsoka is studying for some exams. Do you still like it black?”

“Actually, I haven’t had as much since the end of the war,” Cody admitted. He could feel his cheeks warming slightly. “I’ve been drinking more tea lately.”

Kenobi lit up, his smile widening as he turned back to face Cody. “Do you have a preference on what kind? Force knows I’ve got a variety.”

“You pick,” Cody smirked. “I trust your good taste.”

Kenobi nodded and quickly turned away, but Cody could see the tips of his ears tinting pink. 

As he sat there, watching his former General as he utilized the small kitchenette, he realized that he had no plan. 

He was a Marshal Commander in the army. He made thousands of battle plans and decisions for two and a half years. He’d spent his entire life before that being trained for it. And yet, he’d read the addition from Kenobi and the only thing he’d come up with was to find Kenobi. He could practically hear every ori’vod and trainer he’d ever had berating him. 

“So you take care of the little ones these days?” Cody piped up as Kenobi brought the kettle and mugs over. 

“When I can,” he nodded. “I’m still on the Council and I do go on missions when needed, but I’ve always enjoyed working with the younglings.”

Cody smiled as he took a sip of his tea, recognizing the taste of spiced fruit. “This is from Alderaan, right?”

Kenobi smiled. “It is,” he confirmed.

“A gift from Chancellor Organa?” 

“Yes,” Kenobi said, seeming somewhat bewildered. “How did you–”

“This is what you brought me before Ryloth,” Cody said. 

Kenobi’s face turned red. “I… I can’t believe you remember that.”

“Of course I do,” he smirked, leaning towards his former General. “It’s like I told you, ‘you’re too important and too beautiful for me to forget anything about you,’ remember?”

Kenobi was speechless and Cody found that he loved being able to have this effect on him. He reached across the table, easing Kenobi’s mug from his hand and replacing it with his hand.

“Ni kar'taylir gar suvarir mando'a, ner jetii,” he breathed, locking his gaze onto those beautiful eyes. He watched as his cheeks turned so red he might’ve thought they’d catch fire. “And I know about your addition to my… stupid spreadsheet.”

“You do?” Kenobi whispered. 

“I do, sir,” Cody admitted. “I’ve been such a fool. I thought I was imagining things or that it was just wishful thinking.”

“You didn’t imagine any of it,” Kenobi said. “In fact, there was a lot you didn’t include on your list.”

Cody chuckled. “Of course there was.” He squeezed Kenobi’s hand lightly, his thumb rubbing across his scarred knuckles. “Can you ever forgive me for how oblivious I’ve been?”

Kenobi smiled widely, setting Cody’s heart on fire. “There’s nothing to forgive, Cody.”

“I need you to know that I still feel the same as I always have,” Cody said. “Even when I pushed you away, trying to act professionally. I was and am completely in love with you. And I always will be, Obi-Wan.”

He’d never dared to say the General’s first name aloud, but the feeling of it in his mouth was addictive. He watched Obi-Wan tremble slightly.

“Oh, Cody,” Obi-Wan sighed. He stood, pulling Cody from his chair and closer to him. Instinctively, Cody wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan’s waist, pulling him tightly against his chest.

“I’ve been waiting so long to hear you say that,” Obi-Wan said, his hand gently cupping the side of Cody’s face. His thumb traced over the end of his scar. “I’m in love with you, Cody. You’ve had my heart from the moment I met you.”

Together, at last, they closed the space between them, their lips meeting softly, yet full of passion and heat.

When they pulled away they were breathless, simply smiling at one another. 

“What now?” Cody whispered. “I love you and you love me, so what’s next?”

Obi-Wan smiled, pressing another soft kiss to his lover’s lips. “Whatever we want, my dear.”

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Thank you all so much for your love and support! I'm so happy that so many people enjoyed this self-indulgent project. Please make sure you go give love on the original!!! 💛💛💛

Thanks for reading! - River

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[vinelark]

in return for the fic recs i got last month, here are a few fics i read recently that i want to absolutely yell about from the rooftops:

Iron, Fire, Mirror-Glass by PurpleSoot: an early batman days AU where, while slowly healing from a spine-shattering injury, bruce finds an old book about the fae. in a fit of desperation he attempts a Summoning to try to heal his spine. enter: robin.

this story is fantastic—the kind of longfic with a plot so good and satisfying that finishing it leaves you on a reading high for at least a week. one of the best early days bruce fics i’ve ever read, with honorable mentions to excellent alfred and clark and jim and selina characterizations—but robin (dick) really takes the cake here. the balance of chilling, otherworldly, not-quite-human vs. playful, earnest, Still Just a Child…chef’s kiss. the way robin’s character arc drags bruce kicking and screaming through his own emotional growth is so well-paced and well-wrought that i already want to reread just so i can experience it again. this is one of those god-tier longfics that i can’t believe i got to read for free on the internet.

mid-reading testimonial:

The Lone Ranger Never Had to Deal with Bruce Wayne by @theskeptileptic: a tim-joins-the-family-early fic in which tim decides to do everyone (his parents) a solid by faking his own death and running away to canada, except his weirdo neighbor bruce wayne keeps butting in and messing up his plans.

this is one of the rare stories where tim doesn’t know batman’s identity yet, and even rarer stories where that somehow makes the whole thing even more compelling. this fic has two of my favorite things: small, lonely, moderately unhinged tim drake pov, and really good pangs—pangs that are expertly teased out through flashbacks that add context to the present action at exactly the right moments. also, a very fun cameo near the end. i had a blast reading this one, physically clutched my chest more than once, and am already looking forward to rereading.

mid-reading testimonial (feat. @cairoscene):

equivalent exchange by scribblemetimbers (wip): an au set during tim’s robin days in which tim discovers 1) crossroads demons are a thing and 2) people can make deals with them. deals that include bringing people back from the dead, so long as you’re willing to pay the price with your own life.

this fic is so…🤌‼️ it feels like everything i want in a fic so far, down to two incredibly specific concepts i love (bruce, in his grief, saying something harsh to robin!tim with disastrous consequences later + tim making a big secret sacrifice gambit) which are both done so so well, within a larger plot that is also done so so well. the way this fic cuts in and out of scenes at the exact right moments for max tension feels like a masterclass in causing me to tear my hair out (in the best way), and instead of assorted pangs reading it is just one big Pang. it currently leaves off on an agonizing cliffhanger but, again, in the best way. highly recommend. (thank you again @owlbats for the rec!)

exchange between me and my friend after i sent the link, which about sums it up:

and to cut this angst with some humor:

IRIS Log #1548 by @deadchannelradio: a night on patrol as recorded by the bats’ audio logs, centering around red hood getting flung into a ditch and everyone, eventually, getting home safe.

one of the top ten funniest things i’ve ever read—spiritually up there with send to all (and if you’ve seen my fic rec tag you’ll know what a compliment that is). this makes use of the audio log format SO well. the dialogue shines, the jokes land with excellent timing, and it moves at such a clip that it’s pretty much impossible to stop reading once you’ve started. every character shines in this, and i’ve randomly choked on laughter remembering the phrase ‘good god he got thrown like a corn hole beanbag’ like twenty times in the past few weeks.

mid-reading testimonial:

[starstruckbyacomet]

The Rookie – S.O.S (Save Our Show)

Season 7 Is A Fans' Favorite, but It Might Be Not Enough.

A. What The Show Has Done Right

A lot of fans L❤️VE Season 7 of The Rookie for a lot of reasons:

Fans' favorite ship, Chenford, is significantly progressed: Tim got jealous, they hooked up, and Tim confessed his love to Lucy again.

Although we missed Aaron Thorsen, his replacement, Miles Penn, won our hearts with his sincerity and sympathetic attitude.

We got a cute jealous Wesley storyline.

Wopez and Jayla seamlessly blend into each other's family life. Nyla has known that Det. Rick Graham had a crush on Angela before Wesley found out. James opened Wopez' front door without help (he might have a key!), and dropped Leah before going to work.

We got Tim and Nolan bro moments twice (in the locker room and the safe house)

We got a new eye candy: the Mickey! 😂

We even got a little backstory for Smitty (Smitty has married at least 3 times, and he might have children! 🤯)

To sum it up, Season 7 won the fans over by giving a lot of fan service and portraying dynamic relationships across the main characters. Everyone could interact with everyone, simply by Grey changing their work partner. Having Wesley assigned to Mid-Wilshire Police Station and James working as the community representative also add more possibilities to combine any of the main characters in writing a storyline.

Alexi Hawley, the showrunner, did a really great job in the characters' dynamics and developments. The main characters interact like a team, a found family, without being advertised as such (looking at you, 9-1-1 👀). Everyone got their own story and development. Some are more prominent than the others, but no one is stuck in limbo, or trapped in a hamster wheel of repetitive storylines.

Another strong point of the show is the casting. All of the main cast members are giving solid performances. The show didn't spend its budget on big name stars, then had to cast less-skilled young actors to fill the remaining roles as the consequence (looking at you 9-1-1: Lone Star 👀). Even some of the lesser-known cast members like Melissa O'Neil, Eric Winters, Mekia Cox, and Alyssa Diaz, are unexpectedly impressive. Also, kudos to Nathan Fillion for sharing the spotlight with the younger actors, a move which help the show attracts much broader audience.

B. It Might Be Not Enough

Despite all of these positive points, the rating and viewership of the Rookie tend to decline. Episode 7x06 "The Gala", another fans' favorite which gave them a Chenford hook up, has one of the lowest ratings (0.24) and one of the lowest viewership numbers (2.771 millions) in the season. Episode 7x08 "Wildfire", which gave Chenford's love confession, fares a bit better with 0.25 rating and 3.121 millions viewers, but it is still below average.

Compared to its competitors in the same time slot, the rating of ep. 7x08 "Wildfire" is at the bottom, behind 'FBI: International', 'Doc', and 'Deal or No Deal Island'. If you look at the previous ratings of Season 7, the Rookie used to be #1 or #2 behind the FBI series.

Among other ABC shows, the average rating of the Rookie this season is also worrying. It's only second from the bottom, slightly better than Grey's Anatomy, a former juggernaut which people say has run its course.

C. What Needs To Be Done

What's wrong with the Rookie? Some fans, including me, think that this season is still lacking of good cases. After all, The Rookie is a police procedural show. It wouldn't survive solely on interpersonal drama and romance. The show NEEDS to have GOOD PROCEDURAL STORIES.

The Rookie has all what it needs to tell good procedural cases. It has done so in the past. Not only the show has a solid team of protagonists, it also has an impressive rooster of villains who are still alive, akin to the DC Batman. There are Elijah Stone, Aldo Salonga, Oscar Hutchinson, Monica Stevens, and now Liam Glasser. It would be exciting to watch something like their Guatemala Adventure again. Even smaller stories with heartfelt scenes like the Southern Front Case, or stories with good plot twists like the Nick Armstrong Case, might return viewers' interest on the show again.

It would help if fans send feedback to ABC about the improvement they want to see. The Rookie still has half a season to correct its course. In other shows, fans gave feedback only after the discontinuity of their beloved show was announced. By then, it might be too late. Actors might have been booked for another job (like Raphael Silva, who had been booked for 'The Waterfront' BEFORE his current show, 9-1-1: Lone Star, ended), or a replacement show has been signed by the network.

Anyone who want to send feedback to ABC can use this following link. Thank you for your contribution in this matter 🙏.

[ghost-bxrd]

What would fae!dick and Bruce's relationship be like? Would they fight, woild they be loyal to a fault, would they even separate? Faes do love living in one place after all

Hmmm, well if we go with the option of Dick growing up mostly in the human world being more accustomed to attaching himself to people rather than a place I’d reckon him and Bruce would end up growing quite close.

Of course, the manor becomes Dick’s permanent home and reacts to the presence of an other being rather quickly, but at the core of it? I think Dick would use Bruce and Alfred as his anchor, with Jason and Tim and all the others joining over time.

And loyalty… well, the creatures I grew up with were never divided into good or evil. They were very versatile, much like humans. One could be kind and sweet in one story only to turn monstrous in the next, usually dependent on how they’d been treated by the human of the story. Dick is kind and loyal by nature and I headcanon he only shows his more “monstrous” side when he’s truly irked or feels he’s been wronged in some way (which is… a very subjective thing for fae).

Bruce offered Dick a home and a family, both things that certain type of other creatures value very much and consider sacrosanct. It may not win him over right away, but it goes a long way in building that fundamental trust that’s gonna end with Batman and Robin roaming the streets as a team.

On Bruce’s part… most things he does that are considered “gift giving” and “offers of kinship” are accidental. Because, well, he’s not fae. And he’s new to this child-parent thing and is totally winging it but it??? Seems to work ok???? And he finds that bribing Dick with food and old trinkets makes the boy more approachable, so that’s what he keeps doing until Dick starts coming to him on his own, without additional prompting.

Bruce is super happy because he thinks he’s doing this parenting stuff right and his son ward is warming up to him.

Dick is grudgingly charmed into accepting Bruce and Alfred as “his” humans. (It’s really hard to stay cold and distant with all the good food. And Dick may be fae but he’s been around humans all his life. He gets lonely embarrassingly easy. And he thrives and hugs.)

Sheesh ok getting off topic again. To sum it all up: I think their bond would be pretty strong and not easily broken. There’s mutual trust going on, but Bruce would have to learn to make compromises with Dick very early due to his… otherness. All those strict rules wouldn’t go over well with a fae. at all. Especially not if Dick found out who got his parents killed.

Consequently I think the monumental fallout that ends with Dick moving to Blüdhaven wouldn’t happen. At least not in its original severity. Mostly because Bruce had to get accustomed to Dick having a strong mind of his own years ago, and because he found out that being “rude and downright disrespectful” is an easy way to have a murder of crows with a suspicious number of eyes and wings chase you around for weeks on end. (Not to mention the deer incident. Bruce swears deer should NOT have that many rows of teeth.)

So yeah, they still argue. They still fight. But it’s usually just small spats and gets resolved rather quickly. ✨ and now that Dick’s finally settled down? Yup. Sorry. That’s HIS stretch of land now. He’s got his magic sunk into the very roots of it. Thank you and good day. And may the gods help anyone who tries to take it OR his humans away from him. 🌳

[zahri-melitor]

Watching people feel like they need to set Batgirl against Black Canary right now is exhausting. It’s not actually a zero-sum competition.

Because to my mind we are getting two different aspects of Shiva in the two titles. Which makes sense to me; Shiva’s always had a somewhat different relationship to Dinah than she does to Cass (and both of them different to the relationship she has to Tim, to Richard and Ben, and to Vic)

Narratively, Shiva’s relationship with Cass is struggling with her feelings over what Cass’s existence means to her as her heir: whether she wants to be a parent, whether she is a parent, how she feels towards training and fighting the one person Shiva is convinced has the skill to defeat her. Shiva’s relationship to Cass is very much tied up in her feelings about Carolyn, and Carolyn’s symbolic position in her life.

That’s an interesting narrative, but not one she has with anyone else, though she flirts with it in terms of both Sin Lance and Bethany Thorne. Shiva’s relationship to Sin is of another creation where people are trying to replicate the conditions that made Shiva who she is (and obviously getting it badly wrong) and then in terms of Sin’s importance to Dinah. Her relationship with Bethany Thorne, what little we see of it, is of Shiva seeing loss she recognised in Bethany and wondering what would happen if she harnessed it and trained it. It’s all about potential legacy, rather than the far clearly extant one she has with Cass.

While Shiva’s relationship to Dinah has always been about fighting endurance. Dinah is about the only adult woman we see Shiva show any respect to, with regards to her fighting skill. While Shiva’s dabbled with the ideas of heirs, and clearly sees her potential heirs as being female (Cass, Sin, Bethany), she doesn’t treat them as her equals. Her behaviour around Talia and Nyssa tends to be combative, where she sees them as the heads of rival organisations; she might let them employ her, but she doesn’t buy into their whole deal. (Shiva’s standards over who she will work for are notoriously low; she gets bored so easily she’s happy to go into situations she thinks are going to go badly wrong, as long as it’s potentially entertaining for her)

And that respect between Shiva and Dinah is founded on their shared mentors, and on beating the crap out of each other in the pursuit of being better. Even before Dinah got her skill upgrade and was still just scrappy in the Grell Green Arrow run, in their first encounter, it was still about both of them coming out of a friendly fight together having enjoyed the challenge. Shiva and Dinah both see the other as someone who they want to understand, to see what she has to teach, from where her skill comes from. It’s different to Cass; Shiva approaches Dinah to discover new training ideas, while Shiva approaches Cass to be defeated/killed.

I think Shiva sees Dinah as Carolyn, but in terms of their childhood; the sister who she competed with to become better, and her regrets about not having anyone else to share that relationship with later on. Shiva sees Cass as Carolyn in terms of her loss of Carolyn and what she gave up by it.  

And personally? That’s why I’m enjoying both Batgirl AND Black Canary right now. Yes, Tom King’s not that invested in the emotional side of Shiva as a character, but that’s not her purpose in the story; her purpose is as the challenge Shiva exists as for Dinah (and Dinah exists as for Shiva). They are going to beat the crap out of each other and push each other’s buttons, because putting the other into discomfort in the pursuit of becoming better, both physically and emotionally, has always been part of their narrative together.

[crushedsweets]

What do the proxies think of each other?

this is gonna be kinda messy and disorganized but i got it HANDLED

again, THIS IS ALL MY AU!!! there is a streamline, detailed plot that intertwines, so these characters mingle and grow in ways they probably wouldnt in canon, since different events follow them here O/S Syndrome = Operator/Slender Syndrome, aka slender sickness

Toby: He thinks of Brian and Tim kinda like shitty uncles who only come around every now and again . they used to taunt him a lot cuz toby was always like. annoying, selfish, sarcastic - so it would piss them off, and they'd piss toby off, and then it would be pretty bad. but as toby gets older and calms the fuck down, it gets better between them . he gets pretty sad when they eventually cut him(and everyone) off to move to like, canada or oregon or something.

he likes kate. theyre both outcasts even in a group of creeps and killers and literal monsters.... so toby's always been nice to her. when she refused to come to the cabin, he ended up dragging a mattress over to the mines for her. brings her food, gallons of water, t shirts. she owns random band t shirts that she doesnt even listen to cuz toby gave it to her LMFAOOO . he's the reason kate starts coming and staying at the cabin

Kate: she hates tim. completely cannot stand him. she hates when slendy makes them work together. he's been a dick to her since he met her, because their first time meeting was um. her dragging tim through the forest while he was unconscious. and she was generally part of what tormented him during the events of marble hornets (IN MY AU OBVIOUSLY). he's also uncomfortable because when she kills people she does it with her bare hands. will lick the blood and dirt and grime off her fingers. generally freaky.

she's better with brian. he doesn't remember her tormenting him so much during MH, but he still knows - but he's better at empathizing with her situation. he kinda pieced together what happened to her, while tims just blinded by like. anger and trauma. dont get me wrong, brian is still uncomfortable around her (again, she acts really scary when working), but when she's not working and she just sits there. she looks so tired, and she's so quiet, and its sad. he feels for her.

she likes toby, too. first person to treat her fully like a person after becoming a proxy without her having to like, beg for it (directly or indirectly). again, he brings her things, he's kind to her, laughs with her. he'll tease her and make fun of her but she can tell it's not with ill intent so she'll do it back - she considers him her best friend for a while.

Tim:

HE'S A HATER HE'S A HATER HE'S A HATER ok i know i call him an asshole and say he's mean a lot but i legit am not mad at him and i think he is within reason (like 60% of the time) since like. kates dragged his unconscious body through the forest and left him covered in scratches/bruises, toby's almost always throwing the first punch, he's had his entire life derailed for so fucking long, and these kids don't make it any easier- he could've been in kates position, which is the one thing that makes him kinda hesitate when he wants to say smth mean. he usually isnt an asshole unprompted, but he'll always take it the second step.

a lot different for brian. he wanted him dead for a while too. blamed him for a lot of stuff, but at this point he........... has nobody else. brian is his friend. i feel like writing too much about the complication of their relationship kinda takes away from it. theyre roommates, they leave together, they'd fight tooth and nail to stay in eachothers lives. despite everything

Brian:

i feel like i dont have a lot to say about brian since I already described everyone else's relationship...

just to sum it all up with him, he cares more about all three of them then he lets on. but he's also a lot better at showing he cares. he brings some basic groceries and beer and shit over to the cabin pretty frequently, he'll hang around toby and if kates there, ask if she needs anything. she usually just shakes her head, but on the off chance she says she wants like. a specific drink. he kinda feels like he got +1 friendship points with her LMFAOOO . and obviously he jokes around and messes with toby when they're not fighting

and again, same thing with tim. that's his friend. he's missing a LOT of memories from the events of MH, but tim hasn't hesitated in telling him how he feels about it... and he feels bad. it all sucks. even now, he says things he doesnt mean, just because all of the guilt and anger and trauma gets him and tim both riled up. then they go get a drink together and move on

overall, the proxies are pretty messy. brian and tim arent very present anymore, toby and kate are sort of taking on their 'in charge' roles. their relationship slowly mends itself over time, since my AU largely focuses on improvement and recovery and redemption (HOWEVER MUCH THEY CAN ALL THINGS CONSIDERED...), but its still pretty bad

[angeline-lydia-fowl]

Bonjour, Angeline!

Out of curiosity, how was your life as a jazz pianist like, before meeting Artemis' father? It's a life I've often seen represented under an heavily romanticized light (ie. The Legend of 1900), but I'd be curious about your experience.

- Minerva

Bonjour ma belle !

Oh, my... How to sum all of that up. I met Tim quite young ; even though I had been at the Royal Irish Academy for Music for many years already, my professional career had barely started. So my experience was akin to that of many young musicians - school during the day, and gigs at night.

I mostly played as a classical soloist, mostly but not only for the Academy, and also started a jazz trio with my friends Tadhg (battery) and Finn (bass), which became a quartet when our friend Lara joined us on the trumpet. I chose the name of our band ! We were The Silky Sifaka Lemurs, 'Silkies' for short 😃

I was lucky to have a good network thanks to the RIAM, which opened many doors for me as a soloist and also with the band. Not all aspiring jazz musicians get to play at Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club and JJ Smyth's before turning 20, and I am so grateful for that.

And then, well... Life happened, and I had to quit playing with the band and resign from RIAM. I really, really missed performing at first... But Tim's dickhead of a father didn't really give me any choice.

I never stopped composing though - for the Silkies, for other musicians, for my darling @thesecondartemis-fowl and for myself. I could perform again, but I'm not sure I want to anymore. I've grown to prefer playing only for the people I know and love.

@askminervaparadizo Merci de me permettre de me replonger dans tous ces souvenirs 💚

Musicalement ✨

[chronically-ghosted]

Second Base.

rating: 18+

pairing: max phillips x f!reader

word count: 3712

summary: you try out second base; hand stuff only, but it changes things between you two, as much as you don't want it to.

warnings/tags: cute little outfits designed to drive max nuts, hand jobs (m and f receiving), more blood, fangs, one emotionally unavailable vampire

a/n: this contains one of my favorite lines i've ever written!

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Second base.

Because you aren’t actual sadists or masochists, after the first bite, your sex life with Max went back to normal. Well, as normal as sex with an immortal creature of the night ever was in the first place. Okay – as normal as sex with an immortal creature of the night who is Max Phillips ever was in the first place. Which is to say, often, hard, and loud. It had been weeks since you’d seen that worried look of consternation, that sweet vulnerability he expressed, as if feeding on you might be the thing that kills you and not being railed against your couch for the better part of an entire day. Sometimes you wished he had much respect for your ability to walk upright as he did your jugular vein. 

On some level, you were aware that his recent overexuberance was in part due to that vulnerability. As if you might lift the curtain and find that the man behind it all might leave you wanting. Truly a frat boy at heart, Max struggled to express anything that couldn’t be summed up with the three “ings” – licking, sucking, and fucking, obviously – but now, he had been exposed as someone capable of those deeper feelings, as if he had been the one to split open a vein for you. And despite the heavenly glow you indulged in after the first bite, you really weren’t quite sure how you felt about it all. You hadn’t started dating Max with any illusions about who exactly he is. In fact, you might have started fucking him in the first place because it seemed wildly out of character that he or you would get attached at all – to anyone or anything. The dating thing just sort of happened, when you both came to the same conclusion at roughly the same time: no one else was really doing it for you, so why not? So what if you only directly referred to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend in the privacy of your own apartment, or his? So what if half of the office was entirely clueless about your relationship and the other half was actively placing “secret” bets about how long you two had been fucking? Annoyingly, Tim had been the one to be almost right: “six months ago, I’m telling you, man. That’s when he stopped eating secretaries and she got so much nicer.”

Technically, he stopped eating secretaries about a month into your relationship, and what Tim accidentally overheard was not him “eating” a “secretary”, but you weren’t about to correct him. But Max found it all hilarious: “he’s right, you’re so much nicer when that pussy has been taken care of. But I like it when you’re mean.” 

You actively choose not to think about what he meant by a “deep emotional connection” last time.

Fine, Phillips, I’ll show you how mean I can be.

“Nope, no, uh uh.” 

You put your hand just over the frilly blue lace on your hip. “I’m sorry, I don’t see the problem.” 

It had been about a month since first base and while Max had gotten notably more relaxed around you seeing him eat – he now occasionally walked around your apartment with his food in an opaque smoothie tumbler with a straw – he was still very strict about moving onto second base. 

Which, if left up to him, meant you’d be wearing a straight jacket and thick flannel pajamas. 

“Max, if we’re ever going to do this thing for real, you’re going to have to get used to seeing me naked. I’m not letting you fuck me and bite me while I’m in riot gear.”

“Okay, but, baby,” he whines and he can’t help himself from rubbing the satin bow above your crotch between his fingers. “You look like a birthday cake.” 

Is the baby blue lingerie with a strapless bra that catches around your biceps with white lace a bit overboard? Yes. But last time was ridiculous.

Max frowns, his visible pout morphing into something subtly dangerous as he realizes he can unpeel your bra with a string in the back. “Can’t I just fuck you normally in this and then we’ll try again later?”

You swat his hand away as it sneaks across your ribs. 

“No.” 

“You know, if I wasn’t already dead, I’d think you’re trying to kill me.” Smirking, he drops his hands down to your waist and, not so subtly, curves them around the mold of your ass. Distractedly, he slips one finger under the seam of your panties. You press your hands against his chest and blink up at him coyly. 

“Whatever gave you that impression.” 

He shakes his head, squeezing your ass once. “And I’m supposed to be the soulless demon with a heart of darkness.” 

“So you’ll do this?” 

With a sigh and his eyebrow jumping, he nods. “Yeah. Fine. Go get on the bed.”

Trying desperately not to squeal, you tear away from his arms and all but run and leap on top of the white towel. Max slips out of his shoes, and starts unbuttoning his shirt. You bite your lip, nerves humming in anticipation, as you sit up on your knees to watch him. To your enormous dismay, no matter how hard you worked, no matter how much spit or cum you used, you could not make him purr again. You’d had wet dreams on the idea alone of putting your head against his chest as he vibrated but he swore it was involuntary. “And,” he added as a way to soothe your ego, “I’m pretty sure it can only happen when I’m feeding.”

“Does it happen every time? Like with blood bags or back when you hunted people?”

“No,” was all he said about that.

Max slips his shirt off over his shoulders and goes to work unbuttoning his pants. When they slide off his hips, you frown. 

“The boxers with the hole in the waist? Ooh, baby, I’m so turned on when you make such an effort.” 

He rolls his eyes as he climbs in next to you. “Look, I didn’t think you’d be seeing my underwear and I need to do laundry.”

“You didn’t think I’d see your underwear in a situation where we’re going to specifically jerk each other off?”

Attempting some version of contrite, Max’s gaze falls from your face to your throat, to your clavicle, to your tits, pillowed up for him beneath the blue lace. He leans in as if pulled by magnets. 

“I’m sorry if I thought we’d both be a little more preoccupied.” 

His broad palm smooths across your thigh, around your hips, to just above your tailbone, his nose drawing indistinct lines from your shoulder to your ear. You sort of hate how quickly he can make you not irritated with him. You shift to take him into the cradle of your thighs, when he winds your panties up in his fingers and tugs. The gossamer material tightens just over the seam of your pussy, teasing your clit, you choke. That heated, teasing Max Phillips smirk spreads like hot butter across his lips. 

“What are the rules again?”

“Max,” you whine as you drag your nails over his chest and up his shoulders. But he hesitates, his hand knotting your underwear in his fist. One move and it’ll rub against you again.

“I’ll stop,” he murmurs in a half-sing-song voice. You huff.

“Silver. Bad touch, on your skin. Lightheaded or dizzy, I use the safeword. And,” you sigh. He’s so painfully handsome sometimes it hurts. He’d set out candles again, as if he needed any help in his seduction of you and he just sort of glows. You don’t know if it’s your anticipation or some vampire illusion, but every line on him is blurred. Soft, as if he doesn’t have your pleasure literally in his hands. There it comes again, that small bit of light in his eyes, the emergence of the early morning sun over the horizon. The way he looks at you makes your chest heavy. “And . . . only hand stuff,” you grumble. 

He chuckles, pouting at you in faux-sympathy as he reaches out, other hand wrapping around the back of your neck. “Only hand stuff, she’s so sad about it,” he whimpers into your cheek with a high, mocking voice. 

Your fingers dig into the skin on his chest, daring to hold him away as he goes for your mouth. “I swear to god, Max –,”

In one single fluid motion, he pushes on your tailbone, and swings your hips forward as he tackles your mouth with his own, effectively yanking you under him. You huff in surprise, before pulling away to find menace and glee in his eyes. Grins again as he nips with flat teeth on the curve of your neck. 

He plants wet, hot kisses across your chest, heat blooms against your ribs and tunnels down between your legs, as he tongues the softer places along the hollow of your throat, then up the other side of your throat, teasing your earlobe. 

“I’m sorry,” he breathes, “that was mean. What can I do to make it up to you?” 

Pressing your chest up against his, knowing he can feel the squish of your tits, you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him towards you. His hard cock rubs up against your seam and he lets loose with a muffled groan into your mouth. You roll your hips once with him between you and he turns his head to your jaw, as you both pant at the sensation. 

“You know exactly what I want.” 

His teeth graze you gently. This is an exercise in restraint for you as much as it is him. Given any other night, you’d have his pants off by now, on his back, or behind you, but you refrain. You can’t squeeze him like you want to and that only frustrates you more, makes you heated and ruffled, makes you want more of his skin on you, around you, as if he could smother you. You want to merge your bodies. Your knees dig into his ribs.

He whispers something, too low and fast for you to catch it, but it ends broken and uneasy as if you’re touching something delicate within him. Bending back with one hand, Max reaches between your legs and cups you, one finger barely pressing the wet material back inside you. 

“Was this waiting for me under all those layers?” You nod as he pushes deeper, your mouth dropping open. He kisses your chin, before tucking his head under your jaw again. “No wonder you were burning up.” 

He inhales as if his face was pressed right up against your cunt, two fingers rubbing up and down over that sodden material. It scraps against your clit and it burns. “I could eat you. Just like this.”

“Max, c’mon–,”

“I know, baby, I know.” 

Smearing that pink little bow with the smell of you, he dips his hand under the line of your underwear, past your damp curls, and soothes your overheated sex by filling it with two thick fingers. You arch, brow furrowing, mouth open, fingers clamping down around his shoulders, arousal crawling up your spine, higher and higher the deeper he goes. Max likes the build up, the tease, it’s why his thumb only hovers above your clit, the heat doing half the work for him, as he pumps his fingers in and out of you, the wet squelching almost embarrassing. Behind his hand, his hips swing in time. He groans, deep, into your ear, breathless. 

“Could come like this, baby, could come right like this.” 

The bend of his cock bumps the back of his hand as he thrusts against nothing. You hitch your pelvis up, opening wider, pussy easier within reach, and you forgo any teasing for him, hand sliding right past his boxers, molding your grip around him. He’s hot and leaking all over your fingers. 

“‘Ngh . . . shit, baby.” The arm holding him up shakes. You want to lick the salty precum but there has to be a rule about that, right? If you aren’t so desperate for that final fuck, you would have been a bit more careless. His fingers inside you press up into the places only he knows can send you into oblivion, as if grateful for tearing him apart. His wrist flicks quicker, faster into you, fingers plunging deeper, up to the knuckles, bouncing you as if you were on his cock. You match his speed with your own hand and Max hums, a dark sound verging on distressed. 

You bite your bottom lip, eyes drooping, the rocking motion scraping against your pleasure again and again, like a match scratching against the box one stroke at a time. “Maaax –,” He adds a third finger and you keen, high-pitched and desperate, the width stretching you out for a cock he won’t let you have. You grind against his fingers, the bounce knocking loose every sane thought in your head. 

Opening your eyes, you realize he’s been staring at your tits this whole time. His chest warm and glowing with sweat, his eyes track every bounce and jiggle, the cups of your bra putting them more on display than if you held them up yourself. 

“Where do you want it, darling?” His voice is strained, softer than it should be with your cunt sucking up his fingers. 

Max Phillips doesn’t do cutesy nicknames. Not during sex, not ever. Your his slut. His monsterfucker. Not – 

Your already unspooling mind struggles to grasp at darling before it slips away. 

His cock is throbbing against the palm of your hand. If you could see it, it would be flushed red, the vein at the base protruding. You pump him faster and his hips stutter. He’s so close and so are you. 

But he’s not talking about that. 

“On my tit, Max. Bite me on my tit.” 

With a groan that is all growl, all tension and feral hunger, his arm collapses and he sinks his weight against you. He manages to get his hand out, but yours is still trapped there, pinned between your tender cunt and his painfully hard cock. You writhe. “Max–,” 

His kiss against your lips is a starving sort of one, one that steals the breath from your lungs, wiping any lingering ache temporarily from your body. He licks the inside of your mouth, swallowing the moan that races from your throat into his. It’s all need, desire, a blistering familiarity that you didn’t realize existed between you two. He’s trying to say something with this kiss. 

He doesn’t give you long to read into it, as he pulls back, sinking more into his knees as he mouths the skin under your neck, above your clavicle bone, and in between the valley of your tits. His weight shifts off you, enough to pull your hand out. You arch, pushing your chest deeper into his mouth, using the back of his neck to pull you higher, he groans and licks, and you yank the tie of your bra behind your back. 

“Max, you can –,”

His hand claws at your cups, mouth consuming yours again, the ropes almost stinging your back as they are ripped so fast across your heated skin. Before you lie flat, his hand cups under you, fingers pressing into where the threads burned and forcing you to maintain that bend in your spine. 

The moment is coming. You can feel it. It’s different from a rising orgasm, or the first time he ever sucked your nipple into his mouth. Your lizard brain is sending off warning flares, but you ignore it once again. Those flares arc and bend, your arousal now fire hot. 

His tongue pressed flat, Max draws a long stripe of spit from under your breast, over the weight of it, and up your nipple, where he swirls it between his teeth. Whether Max Phillips was an ass or tits man depended on the day of the week, or whatever was blowing in the air, but he laved attention onto yours like they were the first pair he’d ever seen in his life. The skin on your other breast shines from where his fingers mold around it, smearing your wet juices all over your pebbled skin. He switches over and laps up that smell off you. 

He’s wavering, caught between drawing it out and doing it so instantaneously he might black out and miss the whole thing. Your heart racing, skin almost too sensitive, you feel like you might shudder apart.

“Max, please –,”

He chooses the second approach. 

Without warning, his fangs spring out and he latches onto the skin near the valley of your chest on your right breast. 

You yelp in surprise, pain and pleasure zigzagging like rough scissors from his bite out through the rest of your body.

Okay, that hurts. 

You gasp, bucking, yanking on his hair. “Baby, baby, gentler, be gentle–,”

He swallows and the ache lessens. Hot blood pools out of the spot where his fangs punctured you. It runs warm then cold, teasing like a feather, as it rolls down your stomach. It’s not a lot, but it's more than last time. It stains his chest too.

Slowly, that same sort of miraculous fog sinks down into your bones. The grip on his hair eases, softens, and soon you are petting him against you.

You swear you feel his fangs scrape your heart. 

“That’s good, Max, that’s so good.” Your eyes roll lazily in your head and you nuzzle his hair. “God, how does this feel so good?” 

As though determined to remind you he is more than just fangs, his hand pulls away from the mattress and slides back between your legs. You feel only one finger brush against your folds through your underwear – you’re almost disappointed, go back to using three, Max –

His finger plunges deep, deep inside of you, and you gasp, feet scrambling against the towel, as a swell of pleasure almost smothers you in an overwhelming wave. You nearly choke from the force of it. You were so overly sensitive but the gooey haze didn’t let you realize it until it was too late. You come hard, harder than you thought possible, seeing eons of galaxies and stars behind your eyes, with just one of his fingers inside you and his thumb distractedly circling your clit. 

He feels you gush around his hand, wetting his wrist, and with a moan you can feel in your ribs, he spills in his boxers, the spend running down his thigh and smearing on yours. 

Your entire body goes slack, as if someone had made all your bones disappear. His hips jerk slightly as if his orgasm is still trying to wring him dry before he stills and plucks his head from your chest, unplugging his fangs from the holes he made.

Blood immediately bubbles up from the wound and without his fangs there, it spills freely and violently over your tits, your ribs. The whiplash between your orgasmic high and a full-body weakness sends hot nausea swooping into your stomach and the room spins.

“M-m-ax,” you murmur, barely opening your mouth, your voice weak and thick as if stuffed with cotton balls. 

“Fuck, sorry –,” you can’t quite see him clearly as he moves and suddenly there’s a warmth over your chest, comforting and heavy. The blood trickles to a stop and you breathe deeply. The darkness of the room stabilizes as you fully open your eyes. The room spins but this time pleasantly. 

“Hmm, whoo, wow, ah, okay . . .”

You don’t realize he’s gotten off the bed until the mattress sags again and he’s cleaning you up with cold cotton balls. 

“So, I’m going to take that mindless babbling as a good thing.” He smiles gently, but he’s holding something back. He keeps his head low like he doesn’t want you to see his face.  

You wiggle your shoulders, as he delicately wipes you down. “What, you don’t wanna clean me up with your tongue? And why do you even use disinfectant – there’s no open wound.” You poke him in the shoulder with your toe. “And you didn’t even purr that time! I demand a refund!”

“Next time, okay?” 

You frown. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. Just let me–,” 

You sit up, the dried blood pinching your skin, and he pulls away. “Max, what is it?” 

He pulls away so much, he’s on his feet by the dresser before you can touch him, the back of his arm tearing at his mouth to wipe it clean. Max is a lot of things but cold when you need aftercare is not one of them. 

“It’s nothing.” The line of his shoulders is taught, tense. But he cracks his neck and takes the Gatorade from the dresser. He finally sits back down on the bed in front of you, offering the bottle to you. You take it, unease mounting, your fingers brush his, but this time he doesn’t retreat. Instead, gently, his fingertips ghost over your wrist, down the fine hairs on your arm, drop from your elbow and settle delicately on the blue material covering the crease of your hip. Where your blood had pooled, wet, and stained the blue to a deep magenta. 

“I ruined your pretty underwear,” he says softly, forlorn. 

You move closer to him, your knee touching his hip, but you refrain from seeking out the warmth of his hands. 

“Max, I can get new ones, I don’t care about that. Please, talk to me. Did I do something wrong? Did I push you too far?”

His fingers flex around the towel, now also appropriately ruined. He shakes his head, more firmly this time. He snags his shirt off the floor, over his head, then moves towards the bedroom door.

“I don’t wanna talk about it. I’m sticky. I’m gonna take a shower. You wanna come?”

The invitation, it’s something, an encouragement you genuinely feared he might not give. Maybe it’s not you he wants to part from. 

You didn’t enter into this for the emotional connection and neither did he. You have to remember that.

“Y-yeah. Of course.”

He invited you. He still wants you around. 

Prev | Next | Series Masterlist

[phoenix-kite]

Reverse Robins AU - Outline

Sorry but this is a long one and a sum of my current ideas. A lot has changed from my first post.

Batman = Battinson or Brucie (either way Bruce is a good if not mid dad because I said so and I get to decide)

Damian starts off with the League until the recently formed Justice League makes a move against them. The mission is barely successful and Damian gets hit in the crossfire. The JL is horrified that the League would have a kid there and they take him to be fixed up. DNA tests are run to figure out who this kid’s parents are and they learn he’s Bruce and Talia’s son. Bruce has to step up and be a father for this small, violent, traumatized child and does so by letting him be his sidekick. Damian decides to go by Nighthawk. Eventually Dami wants to become his own hero and he becomes JadeWing. When Batman dies he takes up the cowl as a sense of duty but is seen constantly shirking his responsibilities. 

Duke (he does not have meta powers) sees that Riddler has control of the city so he decides to study up on riddles to free them. This is how he meets Bruce for the first time. Duke’s parents have recently been jokerified and Bruce feels bad because he should have defeated Joker ages ago. Bruce decides to foster Duke until he grows close to the boy and adopts him. Bruce lets him be Nighthawk which angers Dami and Dami tries to kill him. Joker kidnaps his parents and Duke dies. He comes back to life to find out he’s been replaced and Joker is still around so he becomes Blue Veil. (I need more suggestions to flesh this out more.)

Cass had recently met Dami when the JL attacked the League base. She had become very protective of the boy and she snuck on Diana’s invisible jet to make sure he was taken care of. Once she realized he was safe, she tried to leave but she had nowhere to go and ended up roaming Gotham’s streets until she was put into the foster system. She ends up running into Nighthawk and sees him perform a move only Damian knew how to do (using katannas of course) and she figures out their secret identities. Damian leaves and Duke dies so Bruce becomes more violent. Cass hates this so she steals the Nighthawk costume and just shows up to a fight that Batman’s losing. Bruce is appalled by this and tries to get rid of her but she just keeps on showing up. Eventually Cass is made Nighthawk and later adopted. Duke shows up and is upset that he was replaced but he’s not angry at Cass so he really just breaks in (I don’t know where he’s breaking into because I have yet to do my superhero team research. I am begging for an assist). They end up having a heart to heart. Bruce dies (gets lost in the time stream???) and Cass tries to convince Damian to search for him but Damian quits being a hero altogether during this time. Cass single handedly brings Bruce back and stays nighthawk until Spoiler starts showing up. Cass feels betrayed by her family since they didn’t believe her about Bruce but she’s also concerned they just didn’t understand her. She decides to seek help to be fluent in more than body language. (It might be unrealistic that she never picked up English since she was only five years old at the time she left the League but I’m struggling. Either cut me some slack or offer me a solution at this point. Also this reason for her abandoning nighthawk doesn’t seem to fit well so please help.) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, she ends up returning as Nightingale (for now because I do want to expand on this. She will end up becoming her own separate hero.)

Tim has been stalking the vigilantes for a while. He figured out their secret identities because he followed them back to the cave and hacked his way into not being picked up by scanners and not setting off the boundary alarm (RIP quadruple flip or whatever it was). A couple years later he finds out his parents run one of the largest child trafficking rings in the world. He tells Batman and Janet and Jake lose all of their work and are supposed to go to jail (they're not insane so not to Arkham) but they pay their way out of it. They trace a call Tim made to the Oracle hotline and he gets beaten near death because of it. Tim realizes Batman will never truly defeat his parents as they were already rebuilding their empire. Tim becomes Spoiler (I am in desperate need of a better name) to spoil his parents’ nefarious plans. Batman only sees Tim as the spoiled kid from next door. A rich kid with a cushy life that’s trying to play at being a hero. Batman tries to tell Tim he’s not allowed to fight. Tim says he’s going to fight anyway so Batman decides to make him Nighthawk and train him while Cass is gone. Tim’s father finds out that Tim is Nighthawk so he kills him. Or did he? Tim is not dead but was recovering far away from his father. When he comes back to Gotham he tries to kill his parents. Steph understands his anger and offers to train him to be batlad. Eventually Tim does kill his parents and he abandons batlad for his own anti-hero persona (stray tim mayhaps and possible catwoman adoption).

Steph (I know that canonically she is the C-list villain Cluemasters child but that’s not going to work here partially because it’s not angsty enough) is the Joker and Harley’s child but Harley put her up for adoption. Somehow (please give me ideas for how) the Joker finds out that Steph is his kid so he, in a stroke of genius rather unlike him (possibly someone else's idea???), he hires some thugs to kidnap her and make it look like a random kidnapping gone wrong (as in fake her death). He sends her off to learn how to fight as well as Batman but also to keep Harley from knowing about her. She grew up with villains but the Joker only visited occasionally. Joker thought Batman was too concerned with the Penguin and thought that Bruce ought to be paying him more attention so he decided to test out Steph by sending her to kill Penguin. Steph succeeds but she is so disgusted by what she did that she runs away and Joker isn’t able to find her (again I could really use reasons why). Joker decides to draw her out by threatening to kill Commissioner Gordon. Joker decides to kill two birds with one stone by having Batman bring Steph to him. Steph saves Gordon’s life so Oracle and Batman decide to make her Batgirl.(I need ideas for a big reveal where Steph realizes Bruce is Batman.) After Batman dies Steph slowly distances herself from being Batgirl and focuses more on trying to meet her bio mom and getting back with the Browns (her adoptive family). Steph decided to pass the title on to Tim (as batboy or batlad) so he’d be taken more seriously by the bats. She finds out her adoptive father, Arthur Brown, is Cluemaster so she runs away and decides to become Black Bat. She uses this name until Joker is killed (by Duke or a joint effort. She finally settles on the name Orphan.

Jason discovers he’s a meta at age 10. He decides to hide this information because his dad is desperate to save Catherine from cancer but he can’t afford chemo. (I would greatly appreciate it if someone could tell me more about Jason’s parents.) Jason’s worried his dad would use him to aid his goon life. Catherine dies and Willis becomes a raging drunk to cope with the loss. Willis neglects his work for two-face so he’s killed. Cue tiny tire thief Jason. Batman finds out Jason is an orphan and he means to adopt him but he dies before that can happen. Jason joins We Are Nighthawk to help the city and escape Sheila. Sheila wants the Joker to leave her alone so she tells him about her meta son (I don’t know how she knows). The Joker wants to make Jason his Joker Junior. We Are Nighthawk offers both family and protection for Jason. When Bruce comes back he doesn’t want to be Batman anymore but a talk with Jason convinced him otherwise. Bruce then adopts Jason who decides he doesn’t want to be Nighthawk. He becomes Daybreak (unless someone gives me a different idea for his meta powers).

Dick’s parents’ die and he decides to go after Tony Zucco. Bruce was not there the night of their death. Instead he runs into Dick while he’s on the hunt for Zucco. Bruce decides to adopt Dick and help him move on from his revenge. (I can’t decide if I want Dick to kill Zucco anyway or not.) Dick ends up becoming Nighthawk.

Also if you can't tell I am desperate for help so please answer my many questions in the comments. (Yes I did make one tiny edit. Try to find it. :D)

[dontlookheswatching]

I wanna randomly ramble about my main au regarding ships real quick.

TRIGGER WARNING, PLEASE NOTE THAT I MENTION THINGS LIKE ABUSE, RAPE, ALCOHOL AND DRUG ABUSE!! Please don't read if these things upset you! I want everyone to be safe, so if any of this is triggering, this is to tell you to scroll by!

I'm a multishipper, I've stated this on my blog before, I ship practically everything if I see it a certain way. But lore wise when it comes to my blog, relationships are specific. I might post a relationship chart one day, but basically, I have main ships, and then I have like a billion little side ships I enjoy but they wont make a big appearance on this blog unless they're random doodles unrelated to the lore, or part of a ramble or reblog. Im gonna list examples of each so people know what to expect in future posts where some of these ships are featured. If you want to unfollow me for some of these, I'm not stopping you, I'd highly encourage doing so if any of these ships make you uncomfortable, because I don't want anyone to stay on my blog if it brings discomfort.

Several main ships I have that'll be featured perhaps the most are ones like Jeff x Ben, which if not already obvious is the main relationship that'll be focused on. Another is Tim x Toby, they're both adults in my au, I do not support pedophilia whatsoever and if need be I have aged up characters to avoid this. Lastly, I have Liu x Eyeless Jack. I honestly dont know why I started shipping it but its really cute to me and it stuck and they're very dear to me. These three are perhaps the ships that'll be featured the most, but I'm having a brain fart like always and I'm already forgetting my own ships-😭

These are ships that'll be in the blog as well but they aren't as big and focused on. A example to start off with is Jane x Clockwork. I know, canonly, Jane is married to Mary, and I love that, but this is my own personal au so things are different, although in my heart Jane and Mary are definitely on top, and I might do doodles of them from time to time. Another example is Nina x everyone. No, not literally. She just has crushes that come and go ALL the time, and she flirts with everyone, so often to where no one questions it anymore. She had a Jeff arc and got over him and now she's living her life how SHE wants to. A few more include Nurse Ann x Judge Angels, Hobo Heart x Cody/X-Virus, Lost Silver x Glitchy Red, Jason the Toymaker x The Puppeteer, and Kate x Rogue. I have many more, but for now, I'm gonna explain the ones already listed since a few might seem really random. For Angels and Ann, Im just gonna admit, I'm a sucker for enemies to lovers or people who act like they hate each other but they secretly love each other deep down. For Hobo and Cody, in my au, they're both huge loners, and we're paired in a mission once. It was very awkward but the more they talked the more they realized they had a lot in common. I love them. Theres more lore to the reason I've paired Silver and Red together, but to sum it up, Silver had a massive crush on Ben, but Ben has his eyes set on Jeff and didn't return the feelings, and I didn't want Silver to be sad and alone his whole life, plus, they're dynamic is adorable. Sad pessimistic person x person who has seen whats under the sadness and admires them anyways. For Jason and Puppeteer, i saw a cosplay with them on tiktok and I couldn't help myself, I caved immediately. And lastly for Kate and Rogue I realized their characters have several things in common and I realized they'd probably get along pretty well.

Now, for side ships, I won't give an explanation, this ramble is already longer than planned. Im just gonna throw them out there with no context. EJ x Ben, Ben x Lost Silver, Nina x Kate, Tim x Brian, Tim x Jay, Jay x Alex(Yes some other marble hornet characters may be featured in the blog or in doodles), Jessica x Amy, Toby x EJ, Liu x Ben, and many MANY more, too many to state here.

Now that its out there, I wanna real quick talk about something I've reblogged a few days ago. Just because they're bad people who have done bad things, it doesn't mean they dont deserve love or happiness. Plus, the majority of these creeps were people who were wronged time and time again until they were pushed over the edge, it probably definitely wasn't something they had planned out since they were like 3. Now, despite this, some of them definitely aren't the best lovers to have, like Jeff, because again, these are murders and deranged killers. This is a super dark confession but theres A LOT of lore between Ben and Jeff in my au where things were AWFUL for them because Jeff couldn't get a grip on himself for the longest time. He's not like that anymore, and things are MUCH better for the both of them, but they definitely had an era in their relationship where things were beyond toxic. Beyond toxic as in Jeff was incredibly abusive, physically and mentally, and had a MAJOR alcohol addiction, and even proceeded to get Ben addicted to drugs at some point, sometimes going as far as raping him when he did not give consent. I won't give away too many details, but I will say, again, this is in the past and they've both healed over their traumas and managed to get through it together, and are in a much better state(A lot of breaking up and getting back together happened throughout this 'toxic era' though, and even after healing, theres still minor problems that I will not elaborate, they will be found out throughout the blog and maybe hints in some doodles.) But this is a good example of what a realistic relationship in this fandom with Jeff might look like. But just because people are deranged and definitely not mentally stable, it doesn't mean they can't try to change, and it definitely doesn't mean they dont deserve love unless they're as bad as Jeff was but with no intentions to change.

Im always happy to further explain any of this, but I will not tolerate harassment for the things I like. But anyways yeah thats my whole thing on ships im gonna go cry over my broken apple pencil now

-Max❤

[simplylove101]

2024 Horror Challenge: [42/?]

↳“The juice is loose!" Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024) dir. Tim Burton

Plot: After a family tragedy, three generations of the Deetz family return home to Winter River. Still haunted by Beetlejuice, Lydia's life is turned upside down when her teenage daughter, Astrid, accidentally opens the portal to the Afterlife.

Starring: Michael Keaton, Winona Ryder, Catherine O'Hara, Justin Theroux, Monica Bellucci, Arthur Conti, Jenna Ortega & Willem Dafoe

I feel bad I'm only just now reviewing this movie because I definitely had watched it twice before its release on digital and had more than plenty of things to say about it but oh well. lol I think it's because sometimes I forget to think of the original movie as a horror since it doesn't scare me at all but I adore it just the way it is. That said, while this one didn't scare me too much either, the horror aspect gets a little more heightened with the assistance of Monica Bellucci's character & her powers since it was a little like, whoa dark. lol I kept going back and forth about whether to go see it in theaters or not because people kept being negative about it and saying it'd be a shitty sequel but I decided to let nostalgia win that battle. I was mostly glad I did in a way??? lol As I said, I later watched it again in theaters about two weeks later since my dad really wanted to go see it since he's a big fan of Michael Keaton and I enjoyed parts of it enough to be willing for a round 2. The truth is, yes, it's not as classic as the original movie for a good number of people, myself included (I have seen that some people prefer it though so that's interesting), but I wouldn't say that makes it awful or a waste of time. There were still moments I really liked and I didn't mind paying to see it in the theater at all. As my dad declared at the end of movie, "Well, now that was rather mildly entertaining... But I was a little disappointed. Hmm." I feel like that sums up perfectly what my initial thoughts were. lol I think my core issue with it is the pacing. It feels like it takes a good while to really get going since they certainly take the time to have us play catch-up with Lydia and her family, which didn't really feel needed the way they chose to go about it. Meanwhile, once it does get going, there's like multiple plots going on (Beetlejuice trying to get Lydia to free him, Astrid having her own major storyline, Monica Belluci's character looking for Beetlejuice, etc.) but none of them feel like they're getting the proper time to cook right since it took so long with the exposition, the other characters, and then there's the filler stuff. Now, I love fun filler stuff. I don't hate fun. lol This is a Beetlejuice movie, so you gotta have that. And I know Tim Burton loves a music moment, I do too. You knew there'd at least be one after the first one had the truly classic scene with "Day-O" but it felt like there was too much of that kinda thing in this sequel for me, at least the length of time dedicated to that stuff over plot. I just wish the editor had been able to trim some things down a bit because it managed to feel a lot longer than a basically 90 minutes movie. Anyway, I'm gonna stop being so negative and go back to how there were things I liked about it, despite my complaints. The cast was wonderful, Michael Keaton once again killing it as the iconic Beetlejuice. It did feel like they could have used Jenna Ortega a little better but maybe it's just cuz it kinda felt like they wrote Astrid a little one-note at times. Idk. lol I still laughed plenty and the music choices themselves were fun (Though my dad kept saying "Why did they have to use 'MacArthur Park' for the big moment?? That song sucks" XD) It was nice to be in this wacky world again even with different characters included. Also, no spoilers, but that nightmare sequence at the end was classic horror comedy goodness and I dug it so much. lol There's probably more I could say but I think I'll stop here by saying that even though I wanted to like it so much more than I actually did, I still had fun. It is hardly the worst sequel ever and is deserving of its blockbuster success. I'm glad it didn't get the streaming treatment.

[delta-queerdrant]

Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-là (Meld, s2 e16)

Let me begin this review with a compliment sandwich - "Meld" is an episode that packs a lot of acting chops. Our guest star is everyone's favorite weird little guy, Brad Dourif, paired with a really compelling performance from Tim Russ, who at last gets to demonstrate his range. Watching these two together is a treat!

I came to “Meld” with a lot of prejudgment, insofar as I belong to the You’re Wrong About school of media criticism and am skeptical of pop culture portrayals of criminality. Violent behavior is a sad and fucked up consequence of people being people, but I find that our attempts to depict violence in fiction usually say more about our hunger for monsters than about real-life monstrous behaviors.

We open in Sandrine’s, where the Voyager crew is making their own fun by betting on the outcomes of on-board particle counts. Thus begins a tedious multi-episode arc for which the viewer experience can be summed up as, “Tom Paris is a dumbass, but a boring one.” Eventually Chekhov's dumbass will go off, but until then, watching Paris get up to illicit shenanigans is so dull. Why can't this man adopt the persona of an interesting bad boy? The whole thing lands real weird in the aftermath of the "dear god, go to therapy" storyline of "Threshold."

The mood is lightened by the news that there’s been a murder on Voyager! There’s no sleuthing required, as only one person, Lon Suder, was at the scene of the crime. It turns out that Chakotay failed to share that one of his crew might be a serial killer (oopsy-doops). I feel like the fact that none of the former Maquis have passed a recent psych eval should have come up before now. Instead, intimations that they might not be thriving surface only occasionally, as in “Learning Curve” or “Meld.”

Suder confesses to his crime, and Tuvok and the EMH discuss his behavior, in a scene that betrays ignorance of even 90s-era psychology. “Psychosis” is considered, but only one possible diagnosis is mentioned: “bipolar disorder.” This feels pretty damn harmful at a time when there was so much stigma against a bipolar diagnosis. Based on Kes’s analysis of his medical history, the Doctor finally diagnoses Suder with, wait for it, “violent impulses.” Later, Tuvok describes him as having “an incredibly violent nature.”

I was frustrated by the choice of Suder for this case study of habitual violence. Are there people out there who are hyperviolent, don't have mental health disorders or known trauma histories, and can successfully mask their behavior for years at a time? Possibly - I am not a psychologist. But I don't think people like Suder are the norm. Why do we fixate on people with serial killer vibes when the abusive husbands-next-door are right there?

Apparently 24th-century medicine has no tools for treating anger management issues, so Tuvok proposes a mind-meld to share his emotional self-regulation techniques with Suder. I guess this is like Vulcan DBT? As a result, Tuvok starts to experience Suder’s violent thoughts. It’s an acting treat for Tim Russ, who delivers a compelling performance in which our even-keeled lieutenant commander absolutely loses it.

Suder, meanwhile, begins to find equilibrium. As a result, he wants to keep melding, and somehow makes it very sexy in a way that no one asked for. “Penetration,” he tells Tuvok, describing a mind meld. “Your will dissolving mine. The joining.” In response, the EMH kink-shames: “Anybody with an ounce of sense wouldn't share his brain with someone else. Would you? I certainly wouldn't.”

What makes Tuvok’s uncontrolled anger interesting is the way that it intersects with the question of criminal punishment. Early in the episode, Tuvok suggests capital punishment as a possible solution for Suder. After all, Voyager (which, again, apparently has no treatment for Suder's emotional problems) can only offer lifelong incarceration as a solution.

Now that Tuvok is full of rage, he's obsessed with the desire to violently punish Suder. The idea that criminal punishment is a manifestation of our animal aggression is certainly an interesting thesis, though I suspect it’s a lot more complicated than that.

“Meld” has some great acting and tries to address Big Human Questions. Maybe we weren't sure how to formulate those questions in 1996, or maybe I'm just not the right viewer for this episode.

3/5 radiogenic particles.