#while i didnt have motivation for school i had it for anything else. i went out i was doing basic tasks successfully i was socializing

[x-galactic-star-x]

J Maya - Machine Learning 🎶x Cayde 6

He always tought that all exos hatw bwing in this metal frame they call a body, but he is he to judge? living a long life can make you think a lot.

all his years of being a Guardian, he never asked to be one yet he co ti ues on and lived, not like he could die, cause at least he wasnt alone. He had Sundance with him. Most likely the only motivation he had.

Then he met Andal, Shiro- and so many other guardians. he made friends, memories, he got attached. He also made a name dor himself, the Recless hunter who go into danger.

He isnt a stranger with death. more like an old friend. so when he kept loosing people he cared about he was just putting on a brave face and keep going. He took his Buddy's job as a Vanguard as he lost his bet, and went to do a job he was never ready for. so he jus became the fun lookin Vanguard.

He didnt meant to become a motivation for other Guardians. Yet here he is, with so many listening and hang around him like he's the cool kid in school. Of course he is sarcasric, a jokester in front of them. but privately he is anything but. he sulk in himself , hating himself and what he is. wish to feel anything on his fingertips instead of hiding his entire frame with gear.

He writes in his journal like he's the o ly onw who understand himself. like no one else can u dertsmad him.

Lets face it. he's a people pleaser.

he put on a smile and do as his fireteam , his friends ask of him.. mostly. but other than that he is lonely.

He wish he can dream. nice dreams. but Exos dont really have that. i mean. they can have passion, like an idea 'dream' but its not exactly the same.

sometimes he watches the Guardians hang out and have a little fun aftwr a mission and sometimes he wishes he could feel that happiness again.

one day, one of his Hunter approached him, she seemed shy, but she smiled and just handed in her bounty to get her revard. she seem to hang out with other guardians who called her over. she seemed ro hesitate like she wanted to stay a bit longer but then sighed and jogged over.

it didnt really bothered him that much but then he saw her again. She carried a few stuff while her most likely fireteam was talking to eachother, not even bothering to help her.

he raises an eyebrow at this many times, watching her doing people favors, or helpong them even if she looked tired.

no one seem to notice it, not like they cared ro check.

when he was about to sneak out of the Tower he saw her sitting on the edge of the tower looking up at the traveler.

As a Vanguard for Hunters he should check up on hus hunters. as much as he dont want to care that much he does. So he offered her to join him.

it felt less lonely to have seem to undsrstand. Everyone needs a break here and there. Talking to her made him realize she always try to avoid talking about her problems, or about herself.

Everyone have a story. he knows that, so she must have one too.

He incourage her to be herself instead of trying to please people. he knows the feeling. he knows the steps. he's lucky he can make it look natural, that he's fine. he wished he wasnt such a good actor.

she stayed and listened as they sat on their sparrow. that night was everything to her, but maybe just another act to him. he just put on a smile and gave her a pat on the back.

After that night he watched her slpwly grow confident and grow a voice. Good. she needed it. she left her previous fireteam and joined a better one. it was nice to see her grow out of her shell.

He wish he can do it too. Brave enough to go out there. be himself with nothing stopping him.

But he's just a machine, who mastered to please.

When she approached him with a gift box. he was pleasently surprised. She smiled brightly yet her eyes were sad. he always wondered why she admired him so much.

the Gift was a bracelet, and a letter.

he read the letter later when she left, yet he wished she stayed. but he cant tell her that.

'You dont have to hide your true self all the time'

he loved it yet hated it, he never took the bracelet off. but sadly he cant show his real toughts. he's a simbol, a role model.

he's a machine. wanting to be more.

[punkisntdeadandneitherami]

Thought i'd share my experience with suicidal thoughts and self harm so here it goes. A lot of triggers probably so you may wanna step out.

When i was 10 years old, i was really stuck on school stuff. like, they put a lot of pressure on us, and i'm a real procrastinator. i waited till the last moment to do all that stuff, and honestly it's my fault. the thing is, i had to stay up till kinda late, wich i used to NEVER do. plus, on the next day we had to present that stuff to our parents, plus dance for everyone else's parents too, and play a song, and i have social anxiety. This got me so stressed for the longest time, bc it was like a huge thing and it was worth a lot of my grades. to top it all off, that annoying ex friend who kept pressuring us didnt even show up.

The next year, i started hating school for it. It felt useless, and i felt no motivation. The worst part was: that year, i made two friends, but they ended up pretty fake, one in specific. she thouht she was better than me, and made sure i knew it. She made fun of using medicine, was pretty ableist and was a complete narcissist. During that time, i started thinking i was autistic. i related way too much with stuff i read about it, but when i told her i thought that she went "haha aren't we all" and just kept on with her life. She didnt try to underestand me, and i think i felt a need to be validated by her. I started feeling the pressure of school, the dependence i felt towards my friends and my self hate, always being fed by both media i came across and my toxic relationship with my own feelings.

Soon, i started feeling extremely depressed, trying to figure out if i truly was autistic or if there was something wrong with me. To complement all that, i started finding out about my queerness, which was important, but it actually only made me feel more stressed.

I had to go with my parents on their business trip on October, and it felt great to escape for a while. The problem was that, by the time, i already felt incredibly depressed. I wasnt exited about anything, had no motivation, and to be honest the only thing that kept me from killing myself was the thought of how my friends would feel, specially one of my best friends, who nowadays i am proud to call my brother, was also suffering with his own mental health.

On that trip, i had many valuable conversations with my friends, them helping me go through this even with the distance, even if every time i saw a window i begged myself to jump. They helped me figure out my sexuality, which also gave me courage to both come out to my mom and come clean about my depressing thoughts.

After i came back home, i started having to wear an orthopedic vest or whatever, idk how to say that in english. Of course that didnt help much my situation, but at least i started going to therapy. I went back into school and saw my friends, including that one girl i mentioned earlier.

While that happened, i had some serious anger issues. I was pretty rude to her, while she was ableist to me. After I told her and my other friends I'm a lesbian, they all were supportive of me, except for her. It kept on for the whole year, until i finally changed schools together with a friend of mine.

I could see other friends on my new school, but the change was weird. The new school was farther from my house so i had to wake up earlier, but at least i got rid of seeing that girl. The thing is, i kept lying to my therapist, and felt like i couldnt tell anyone my thoughts and feelings. I started having kinda murderous thoughts about me killing my homophobic classmates and then myself. I continued procrastinating my arts project, and i thought i'd get a failing grade. Not long after, i started cutting myself. I liked the pain. Its like I had always felt. By the time, i found out a way of fooling the medicine, kind of stopping it from working. I thought I deserved to feel like this. I started planning on killing myself.

I had the perfect plan of every step i'd take. I'd take a cup of coffee on the middle of the night, wearing my favourite PJ's, steal a bunch of ginger biscuits from the kitchen and go to the little empty house on our yard. I'd grab a knife with me. I was going to send my goodbyes via whatsapp, eat all the biscuits and cut my palm with the knife, to use the blood to write on the walls. After that, i'd slit my throat. But i didnt do any of these. Because of my ex brother-in-law.

I started planning my goodbyes, sending myself the texts i'd send them that night, just so i could copy and paste. Then, i'd send their friends texts for them to comfort my friends. On that, i sent my ex brother-in-law a message asking him to comfort my brother the next day. I thought he wouldnt see it immediatly, but he did. He asked why, and i answered i was going to kill myself. He started lecturing me, and i admit that his speech wasnt what kept me alive, but the fact it lasted 10 minutes and made me forget to drink the coffee to keep me up.

I slept tightly that night, the night i had been planning to be my last.

After that hell of a night, i started using my medicine correctly, which helped a lot on my recovery. Today, a fuck ton of time later, I'm telling you about it, because a few days ago i cut myself again. I dont want anyone to go through that, to think their feelings arent valid because there are people who suffer more, who think life is nothing but the limited time of working of the brain and the heart.

Life means, you get to change. Life means, you get to thrive. Life literally means whatever the fuck you want it to mean. So live. It's your only chance.

[mihai-florescu]

*gripping the sink refusing to look in the mirror* no, like, it's ok, it's fine, i'm just in my war shu era in my war leo era in my kaname era in my-

[ghost-ghost-baby]

We're Just Friends! (Omega!bakugo x alpha!reader x omega!Izuku) pt. 2/?

Pt. 1 / pt. 3

Lore: Once an Alpha reaches 21 they get their first rut, they’d either already have their mates or the rut will act as a push for them to get together and bond.

Summary: Reader and Katsuki have been friends for years, and everyone expects them to get together, until reader rescues an omega that lives in their building, and things get a touch more... complicated

Warnings: omegaverse, obviously, yandere themes, Izuku b showin that stalker side more and more, reader is still dense asf, Bakugo b MAD, hella swearing-

“Katsuki, can you let me go? I have class-“ Your words were met with a grunt, Katsuki only tightening his grip on you.

“C’mon, it’s just one class and I can come back right after and we can nap?” You sighed when he still didn’t respond, you didn’t want to hurt him, but you were already late. (You’d hit snooze on your alarm a few too many times, but you couldn’t bring yourself to push Katsuki off until you absolutely had to.)

“I’m sorry-“ you kissed his forehead, smiling at the faint purr he let out. Then you pinched his scent gland, and the omega was springing out of bed and snarling like a cat when you stepped on its tail.

“I know! I know! I’m so sorry, I promise I’ll run back!” You rushed to throw on a pair of jeans, stumbling around as you pulled them up. Katsuki only growled at you from the bed, watching you struggle with dark amusement, sleep still heavy on his mind.

“Text me if you need me to pick anything up on the way home!” You pressed a kiss to his forehead before you left, feeling slightly less guilty as his scent returned to its usual content aroma.

“Hey! L/n, wait up!” You were getting into the elevator when a familiar voice made you turn around, and you waved as Izuku ran down the hall, clutching his backpack like a lifeline.

“Midoriya! Hey! Where ya headed this early?” You pressed the ground button once he was finally in the elevator, biting the inside of your cheek when the elevator closed and you remembered just how potent his scent really was. It was fine, you could handle this, just a minute or two-

“Oh! I just got accepted into UA university! I’m doing forensic science!” Midoriya chirped, and you felt your jaw drop.

“No way! That’s my degree, what’re the odds!” You grinned, missing the way he relaxed when you didn’t suspect anything. “I can show you around if you want?” The elevator dinged and Midoriya beamed as the two of you stepped out.

“Oh really? Are you sure it’s not a bother?” His scent took on a slightly worried turn, and you were reassuring him without a second thought.

“Yeah it’s no bother at all! It’ll be nice to have someone in my classes, my friends and my roommate are doing music degrees so we don’t really have classes together!” The two of you fell into step perfectly, and you couldn’t help but flush when Midoriya walked so close your sides brushed together.

The walk to university had never seemed this short before, and the two of you were getting to class in what felt like record time. The two of you took a seat up the back, barely having time to get your books out before Mr. Aizawa entered, a thermos of coffee bigger than your head slammed down in the desk and the class shut up, the lecture beginning immediately.

“How did you find Mr. Aizawa?” You asked as soon as the two of you were outside, Midoriya had been totally engrossed in the lesson, filling five pages compared to your two. Hey, school had never been your strong point, and you wouldn’t have even made it through high school without Katsuki helping you study, even if he did yell at you for being stupid like, a lot.

“Oh the lesson was great! He seems kinda grumpy for a teacher, but he covers a lot of details and-“

“Hey, Y/n! Who’s the fresh meat! And why’s Bakugo in such a foul mood, what’d you do dude?” A familiar voice interrupted Midoriya, and you waved as Mina and Denki came into view, Denki’s arm slung around Mina’s shoulder.

“I didn’t know Katsuki had class today, why isn’t he with you guys?” You couldn’t help but frown, it wasn’t like Katsuki to not mention having a class, especially when it was in the morning like yours.

“Oh, Kiri and him had something to take care of!” Mina chirped, and a flash of something went through your heart… maybe Katsuki just didn’t want you as an alpha, and Kiri was all sorts of charming-

“L/n, don’t be rude, introduce us!” Mina was staring right at Midoriya, who had moved to stand slightly behind you.

“Oh right! Sorry! This is Izuku Midoriya, we ran into each other yesterday and then realised he lived right opposite Katsuki and I!” You ruffled the back of your hair nervously, and Midoriya couldn’t help but glance at your scent gland, your unmarked scent gland. So you and Kacchan hadn’t sealed the deal, huh? Perfect-

“Oh, he’s so cute! I’m Mina Ashido and this is my mate Denki Kaminari! What are you studying?” Midoriya seemed to relax next to you and you couldn’t help but smile, Mina was always so good at making people feel included.

“You know… you can call me by my first name, if you wanted.”

“Huh-?” Those words had you stumbling over your feet and almost face planting onto the pavement. That was a courting invitation- plain and simple, and your brain short circuited as you turned to face the omega. He couldn’t mean that, right, you’d only known him a day and you’d been far from charming and- was Midoriya holding a blanket?

“I know it’s kinda soon but being with you just feels right- and you’re such a good alpha I’m sure you have dozens of omegas you could choose from and I don’t even know when your birthday is but I couldn’t not say anything so maybe if you wanted to scent this blanket I could put it in my nest and we could start the courting process...“ Midoriya trailed off when you were still silent, eyes darting between him and the blanket and your mouth wide open in disbelief, and your happy scent pumping out in waves was the only thing stopping him from crying.

“M-Me? You want… me… to be your alpha-?” Your face went bright red as you finally processed what was happening, a warmth quickly spreading out from your chest. Katsuki briefly crossed your mind, but then you remembered he didn’t want you- and you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t want Midoriya.

“Mid- Izuku, sorry, I’d be honoured!”

“Bakubro- what do you think of f/ns new friend, have you met him yet?” Denki called when he and Mina finally found Katsuki and Kirishima outside one of the cafes next to the university, and the blonde almos dropped the bag of food he was holding.

“Ha- What the fuck do you mean new friend! They didn’t mention anything to me-!” Katsuki was already yelling, and Kirishima sighed as the omegas scent took on a burned tinge, waving in apology to the passer bys that frowned.

“Yeah, apparently he just moved into your building, too!” Mina continued, the two of them far from surprised by this reaction.

“What’s his fucking dynamic- if he’s the same asshole from last night I swear to god-“

“Oh… so you haven’t met him yet, he’s an omega and I’m sure you’ll like him!” Mina waved her hands as she tried to diffuse the situation. It almost did, until Katsuki remembered that scent from last night.

“What does… what does he look like?”

“Oh he’s short! Green hair that was kinda a mess but he had the cutest freckles-“ Mina started, giving Denki a light shove when he interrupted.

“And his eyes man! Biggest puppy dog eyes and they were the brightest green colour!” Katsukis blood went cold with each word, dread and rage quickly settling on his chest, and he could barely ask the next question.

“What’s his name?”

“Um I’m not sure- what do you reckon babe?” Denki turned to Mina and she frowned as she tried to remember.

“I think it was Izuku Midoriya!”

That was the nail in the coffin, an involuntary growl bubbling up in Katsuki’s chest as his vision went red. Why the fuck was Deku back?

You slowly opened the door to your apartment, frowning slightly when Katsukis scent was fainter than usual. He mustn’t have gotten home yet. You’d invited Izuku over to study, (you could really use the help, and he’d taken so many notes-)

“There’s the couch with the TV, or we could go to my room but it’s kinda small and-“

“Wow, Y/n, I thought you just invited me over to study-!” Your face went red at what Izuku was implying, and you were falling over yourself to insist you did just want to study and there weren’t any ulterior motives. Izuku was… slightly disappointed, but there’d be time for that later, so he merely took a seat on the couch and got his books out while you got the two of you a drink and some snacks. The lounge was smaller than his, but it was cozy, and the couch was far more comfortable than his. Plus, the whole place reeked like you and Kacchan, and it took everything Izuku had to stop himself purring, nothing had ever felt so right.

“I didnt know what you wanted so I just grabbed a variety, and I hope jasmine tea is okay? It’s my favourite and I’m kinda out of anything else- Katsukis meant to be doing a grocery run soon anyway-“ you set the tray down next to Izuku’s notebooks, plopping down on the couch with a sigh and taking a second before you grabbed your own books.

“Let’s get down to it then, huh?”

Taglist (v sorry if any of em r wrong)

@pasteldaze@hopeless-ro-simptic@ntngann@somerandominternetgirl@ianem005@lalaluvzen@antisocial-minnie@rogueofbullshit@hakunamatatayqueen@so-uncute@therealwalmartjesus@unlightedfool@

[skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru]

I'm not sure Gojo has ever even shown an interest to any girls.

He calls Utahime weak and teases her by making fun of her, essentially- which she hates. Mei Mei is incredibly strong and beautiful, and Gojo acknowledges her skill but that's it. I also noticed that in the anime (the manga doesn't have honorifics, so please correct me if I'm wrong) but he calls her Mei-san rather than Mei Mei. Therefore, I don't think he ever tried to get much closer to her than the interactions we've seen. When she asks him if he'd comfort her if she cried, he tells her that's she strong- she wouldn't cry. I thought it was interesting that while Mei Mei's question was slightly flirty, Gojo answered so simply, without any teasing.

He calls Shoko by her first name, which is understandable since they spend more time together being in the same grade. He realizes that her ability is rare and useful, but like with Utahime and Mei Mei he doesn't go any further than that. He mostly speaks to her about work related things and doesn't flirt or tease much at all.

Honestly, I think Gojo actually respects his female colleagues and mostly pokes fun at Utahime because she's so uptight and strict. Shoko and Mei Mei are more relaxed and self-assured, and Gojo recognizes their skills and compliments them for it rather than teasing them. I doubt Gojo really thinks Utahime is truly weak more than he just loves riling her up. Other than that, Gojo's pretty respectful.

Also, in the Hidden Inventory arc, Gojo was bombarded with screaming from all the girls excited to see him. Other than pulling his shades down so they could see his face- after they asked him to, btw- he didn't really do much else. He didn't even react much to the teacher giving him her phone number. His only comment was "what a fun school," and it's interesting to see that while lots of girls do appreciate his looks, he acts only mildly amused.

Other than that one model as his wallpaper, we don't really see Gojo flirt or show interest with anyone. He only really teases Utahime to piss her off- I suspect he hates how much she follows the rules like Nanami does, who he teases often as well. He likely just enjoys annoying people so stern because rules just don't sit well with him (especially because of what those "rules" had done to Geto).

It's just a possibility, but he could be one of those guys who's more interested in work than pleasure- I know, he's handsome, but not all handsome people are players and cheaters. I think that's a horrible stigma and a lot of attractive people irl are judged and criticized solely for their looks. People make too many assumptions on someone just based on their genes, and I think it's pretty shallow to think Gojo's a womanizer just because he's attractive. And he knows he's attractive- but when did being confident in yourself make you a philanderer? Gojo has never used his looks manipulatively at all.

It's definitely a possibility that he would be a womanizer, but I'd say it's unlikely based in what we've seen. To sum it all up, Gojo doesn't show interest in anyone. He teases Utahime often, likely for the same reason be teases Nanami- they're too uptight. Shoko and Mei Mei are both incredibly skilled and beautiful sorcerers, and he does acknowledge and compliment them for it, but he doesn't tease or flirt with them. He's respectful, and he works with them as his colleagues. He didn't get distracted by the teen girls fawning over him either, or suddenly get overtly cocky or show off, only sliding his glasses down so they could see his face, and even then he acted only mildly amused. Also, when Miwa asked him for a picture, he didn't even stay and chat with her or anything (I know she's a minor, but if he truly was a womanizer, he would have at least stayed to hear her compliment him or anything to feed his ego) Maybe ask her "Oh, you want a picture with me? The strongest? How cute~" A flirty comment, a joke, something to fuel his own ego, but he doesn't do that. He doesn't act in a way that conveys he openly pursues attention from women. He just takes the picture with her and walks off casually.

Therefore, other than the fact that he's handsome- and I know many people who would assume things about someone based on their attractiveness, which is a terrible stereotype- Gojo doesn't show much interest in flirting at all. He could be the type of guy who works more than plays- and there's plenty of guys who are handsome but aren't super interested in playing around. Being handsome doesn't automatically mean he's the type to sneak around and have affairs here and there. It's completely realistic for a handsome man to be uninterested in any kind of relationships- not all men are sex crazed, and being a tease to his friends doesn't make Gojo a flirt either. Teasing your friends is perfectly normal.

Therefore, Gojo being a 28 year old virgin is totally possible- not everyone's a sex crazed teen who only thinks about what's between their legs, and basing it on what normal Japanese teens do is unfair. Neither Gojo or his lifestyle is exactly normal, and there's definitely barriers when it comes to experiencing normal youth activities for Gojo's generation- especially Gojo's generation. Yuji's generation definitely has more freedom to do fun things because of what Gojo has done to give the youth more freedom- things he hasn't been able to experience himself in his youth, like playing baseball during the exchange event. That was the first time they ever did something different to tradition, and that was only because of Gojo's consideration.

Gojo's youth was filled with blood, exorcising, and choosing between life and death. The deaths Yuji and co. witnessed were what Gojo experienced as well, if not worse. Gojo's task in his youth was to protect the weak, and he found that burdensome. At least, until Geto betrayed them, and Gojo realized the new burden he had to bear in changing the Jujutsu world because of what it had done to his only best friend.

There are definitely more important things in Gojo's mind than just losing his virginity, like saving people and choosing who to save, whether he should kill or not kill.

Gojo is the strongest, but he also bears the biggest burden- and that burden is something he chose to bear, and being the strongest is something he chose to be. Because before Geto left, it was "We are the Strongest." Now, Gojo worked tirelessly so that he could say "I am the Strongest."

And that's not something you can do while sleeping around. I think a lot of people fail to recognize just how hard Gojo works for himself and others. They just think, oh he's the strongest, so it should be easy for him. But it's really, really not that simple, is it? Especially when you have to do it on your own, and even then Gojo realizes that his strength alone isn't enough to save people. He can't save everyone by himself- It's not enough for just him to be the Strongest, so he works diligently to build and inspire his students to stand with him.

He's actually a very deep and emotional man who cares about his students and especially, even now, his best friend. Everything he does is for their sake- he sacrifices the normal life he could have lived, like Nanami had done, for their sake. And he fights with the higher ups, takes the brunt of their ire, and laughs it off, acting as if he fine, like a dad pretending he's superman for his kid's sake. But Gojo is burdened, and he's tired, and he hardly sleeps, and he has the most missions- he's the Strongest, which means everyone needs him, and he bears it.

Sorry for ranting again tho. I think I went into two different topics lol oops- 🤔

OUR SAVIOR 🤔 EDUCATING PEOPLE pay attention ya'll another thing I've noticed in the latest episode is that in his phone contacts he actually writes Utahime's name properly like formally no emojis or teasing shit he actually sees them as his colleagues people he can rely on his field of work and yes about the whole thing when he bursted into riko's class man was absolutely clueless just silent as a teacher tries to give him his number. I'm pretty sure as a child Gojo wasn't allowed to attend public schools due him being in danger or putting others in danger so he doesn't know much about public schools or normal people in general since he spends all his time with people from the jujutsu society.

That is definitely true just because someone is good looking that doesnt mean he's some cheap womanizer. I see a lot of people shipping him and Utahime together which is understandable ship who you like but I don't think Gojo as any ulterior motives like wooing Utahime by teasing her he just is plainly teasing ya know like friends do but in this case Utahime hates his guts and he doesnt know. I mean it takes some amount of hate to try to throw hot tea at someone 😂

While certainly I agree Gojo's teen like wasn't the best it was like he literally had a full time job at that age but who's to stay he didn't go messing around one time? I'm sure during his teen days he wanted to experience things he didnt get to to but now could because he lives on his own now. But maybe he didnt at all who knows? Which also raises another question, I wonder if he has any romantic experiences? And this was all before what happened in the hidden inventory arc after that I can see him more becoming invested in his duty and with what happened with geto as well would of definitely had a huge impact on him to try harder even though hes the strongest so that the next generation wouldn't have to experience the things he went through.

It's really sad if you really think about it what hes been through and what he has to shoulder all while keeping the facade that he's okay, I bet there were times he cursed his powers and his life....but he bears with it anyways because everyone is counting on him....

And don't be sorry at all! I am actually really learning alot about Gojo from you. Please continue to tell us your thoughts and feelings. I don't mind at all ❤ and thank you for taking the time to write 💕

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML AU: In Another Life: Ladybug

Original post

-Flashbacks to Befana are the same. But then there are a few additional frames of Lila seeing Marinette and adrien act more couple like and it really grinds her gears.

-Like in the original episode. Lila is talking with Gabriel, acting as his spy.

-Lila uses this chance to try and bad mouth Marinette like in canon but insists she is not a good match for adrien, but Gabriel dismisses it.

-Lila decides to put her plan into action just like in canon. Her motive though was to give a reason for Gabriel to make his son end his relationship with Marinette.

-Gabriel tells her the ‘Deal’ is in place for now. But if he can revoke it if she doesnt live up to his expectations.

-The events that led up to Marinette’s bag getting examined are the same. And Miss bustier points out that she didnt miss a question.

-Alya calls out first that it wasnt her.

-Adrien also stands up saying that he studied for the mock examine with Marinette. (He is faster to defend his gf)

-Adrien also had a perfect score on the examine, because Marinette helped him with studying.

-Lila makes her comments and Marinette claims Lila set her up.

-The events that lead to Lila faking her fall down the steps are the same, including getting to the locker.

- The main difference here is that Adrien speaks up.

-”Hold on! I know marinette wouldnt do any of this! Lila, when did you last have your necklace?”

-Lila was not expecting the bold accusation, She makes a quick lie that she had it the other day.

-Adrien smiles.

-”Then there is no way Marinette could have taken the necklace! Marinette was with me at a photoshoot helping me study between breaks. She wouldnt have had the time to take the necklace.”

-Mr.Damocles was about to speak up saying there is still a lot to against Marinette, and the class chimes up to agree that Marinette wouldnt steal it or cheat.

-Chloé even points out that Marinette is too goody goody for shoving people.

-Alix commenting that “Its true, and if she would shove anyone, it would have been Chloé”

-Miss bustier actually does the teacher thing and comments that Marinette is her class rep and this is out of the ordinary for her.

-Lila failed to take into account how well liked Marinette is, and didnt anticipate Adrien would be so adamant about defending her.

-Mr.Damocles decides that this needs further investigation. He says that Marinette should go home for the day while he and the teachers discuss the situation. He apologizes to the Dupain family and will call them when they have worked through everything.

-Its not ideal, but no one is super angry, not enough for hawkmoth to try and pull off Scarlet moth 2.0. Which really disappoints him. Nathalie wasnt akumatized, but still faints from exhaustion.

- Causing Hawkmoth to focus on Nathalie and take her out of the lair.

-Marinette is at home, fuming over this whole thing. She knows Lila set her up. Alya is on the case to investigate it. Though she isnt blaming Lila directly yet, because she wants to find the facts, but she knows Marinette is innocent.

-Mayura still creates Sentibug like in canon.

-Adrien texted Marinette to make sure she was okay, and he tells her he is not letting Lila get away with this.

- He gets an alert just before he confronts lila like in canon about Ladybug fighting Mayura.

-He leaves and finds ‘Ladybug’ hurt.

-Ladybug says the words like she does in canon.

-”But... youre in love with someone else.” Chat noir knew this because its HIM.

-Mayura has sentibug spout a lie but Chat noir backs away. He doesnt buy it like he did in canon.

-Ladybug sees Chat noir backing away. Relieved her partner wasnt tricked

-”Glad to see that you can tell the difference between me and a copy.”

-”It wasnt easy, she didnt seem at all like the sentimonsters we faced before. She’s different.”

- The fight goes about the same as in canon, with the same lucky charm joke.

-They free sentibug. and tragedy occurs just like before.

-The events occur pretty much the same but the dialogue is a bit different.  when she says that “Ladybug doesnt sound the same without chat noir” He comments that they are a great pair.

-”Easy there kitty, you know i am in love with someone else.”

-”I know, and he’s a lucky guy.”

-Lila was getting ready to go do the modelling deal, but Gabriel called her. Telling her, he was disappointed with her plan. He says that she can forget about modelling today. She needs to prove her worth.

-Lila is pissed, and she decides that she was going to add some grease to the wheels and get Marinette expelled. At least then she could get something out of the ordeal.

-A car shows up, Its Adrien. He tells her to get in.

-”You didnt listen to my warning. You went after someone I loved.”

-Lila attempts to insist that she didn’t do anything, but Adrien tells Lila that she’s going to tell another lie to prove Marinette’s innocence. That she would completely clear her of any wrongdoing

-Lila comments why she would do that.

-”Because you know that if it does go the other way, everyone will know who is responsible for Marinette getting kicked out of the school.”

- And Adrien then brings it all home “Because we are friends, arent we?”

-Lila felt a chill go down her spine. Adrien made it clear that he would do everything in his power to bring her down.

-Lila then lies her way to clear marinette of all wrong doing, and the investigation on Marinette is over. She isnt expelled and no permanent record damage.

-Marinette asks Lila why she fixed everything. Lila doesnt have a smug response, she just leaves without a word, swearing to herself that this wasnt over. Not by a long shot.

-Marinette goes to see Adrien who is happy to see her.

-”So I am guessing this was your doing.”

-Adrien smiles, he claims he has no idea what she is talking about.

-She kisses his cheek, and the episode ends.

[mcd-ms-rants]

I wrote the whole post and TUMBLR DECIDED TO DELETE THE WHOLE THING

anyways it’s finally here

take

STUFF I DIDNT LIKE ABOUT MYSTREET SEASON 4:

• ok but the animations here are great. actually tho they're so fluid and clear. Credits to whoever made them!!

• and now let’s do the real thing

• ok so first off this is where the actual plot starts. I know that some people were getting bored of the monotony of the slice of life episodes so they liked it. Again there’s nothing inherently wrong with having it but you have to remember that these characters most likely weren’t written to be in a plot and I say this because their personalities are funny and lighthearted. Their clearly meant for comedy. This also makes them redundant for plot since most of them a few characters barely have any development which is probably why like half the cast was dropped. im not sure how far back jess had planned the plot but needless to say most of the characters wouldn‘t be able to fit there. Travis, Katelyn, KC and the sk’s just dipped for the whole season and even when kc, Travis and Katelyn do show up in s5 their personalities really took a beating

• WHERE DID LAURANCE AND DANTE GO?? We never see them after s3. its probably because their personalities were too funny for plot but laurance was a shadow knight in mcd and since the whole of mys is so hyped up on the whole ‘mcd and mys are connected’ thing by all means he should’ve been there too

• it makes sense that since the lodge is jointly owned by the Ro’meaves and the Lycans, Garroth, Zane and Aaron- and by extension, Aphmau- would come along. it make sense that they would ask Lucinda for help- she’s a skilled witch and has been their friend since high school. theyre literally neighbors. it makes NO SENSE to being Kim- a girl whom they’ve barely ever interacted with and whom they barely know- to a place meant for close family to go to. Ok from a plot perspective yes Kim needed to be there but Aphmau logically doesnt know that yet.

• how does ghost/emmalyn even exist?? We’ve seen emmalyn and kenmur in s1 and they’re ok. not dead or anything. Yes I know that this is mcd emmalyn and she is directly referencing mcd Zane when she says that’s the only name she remembers from when she was alive but that raises two questions- first, how can both mcd and mys versions of her exist at the same time?? and second, what exactly happened between her and mcd zane?? It sounds like she either hates him way more than she loves kenmur (or she’d remember him too) that it’s the only name she remembers or its Stockholm Syndrome.

• I feel that since the plot demanded a ghost vessel thing that was the only reason Aphmau brought Kim. it’s pretty clear that Dante and laurance wouldn’t fit the role because of their personalities so she just remade an older character and changed her completely right down to her skin to fit the plot. her whole personality changes with it- look at her I mean she even becomes more open when she talks. Again this only happened because none of the existing characters could fill that role because IT WASNT MEANT TO HAVE PLOT

• no one likes you michi girl take the hint

• seeing liochant brings back meMoriEs

• what was that potion that lucinda made and which Garroth threw on Zane?? its clear that it cured him from the effects of the forever potion but the bigger question is WHY DONT THEY USE THIS IN S6?? Ok yes in s4 Aphmau gets freed by the power of love(TM) but that doesn’t mean you do that for everyone

• as someone who liked Laurance’s character I miss him :(

• ok there’s WAY TOO MANY PROBLEMS with Ein and his villain shtick. Ein is basically some obsessive werewolf yandere boy who has an unhealthy obsession with aphmau and hates Aaron. and the cherry on top is that Aphmau is his HALF SISTER. THATS INC*ST. That’s GROSS. What is it with Aphmau antagonists and not having a clear motive or backstory?? mcd Zane and Ein both suffer from this and it shows. there were definitely better motives to give him- he doesn’t have to be centered around Aphmau all the time!! And even if you don’t want to go to all the trouble of rewriting the plot you could at least make it so that Ein knows that he and Aphmau are related. Maybe he wants a perfect sister instead and he’s willing to go to any lengths to get her there. it would still be dark and serious but it would be SO MUCH BETTER than the current plotline. Also showing the contrast between his pdh and s4 self and then not giving any semblance of an explanation really makes it difficult to imagine where it all went wrong. yes Michael definitely had something to do with it but to what extent?? How much is Ein actually in control of?? Is he under the influence of a forever potion when he turns Zane, Lucinda and Aphmau to his side?? Is he still under its influence when he fights Aaron?? look I get that they can’t reveal everything but leaving out THIS MUCH and not even revealing it in s6 makes it very difficult to accurately nail Ein’s character.

• how is Aaron even revived?? is that Irene?? how is she here and what is she doing here?? Can we have answers pls. also it makes no sense that she saves Aaron TWICE- once in s4 and second in s6. How does death even work here if Irene can just swoop in and bring them back to life. i feel like none of the villains ever count as threats then because you know that a cryptic mysterious goddess who somehow looks just like your girlfriend will revive you.

• how did Aaron even survive?? No seriously how?? We know that there’s no service or wifi up there at the lodge so using their phones is out of the question. i don’t think Lucinda would be able to conjure up a whole medical team for Aaron. and they're on a MOUNTAIN. It takes precious time to get down from it. for context, even if they sent Garroth (since he’s the fastest) down to get help they’d have to wait for him to reach the village area at the base of the mountain, get a phone, call for help, wait for said help to arrive and get Aaron to a hospital. meanwhile Aaron is bleeding out from multiple gashes on his chest made at like point black range that are critical at best and fatal at worst. (his only saving grace is the snow he’s on which would help to numb the wound because its cold but he has like FIVE deep chest wounds and the snow isn’t even on his wounds.) Ya sorry I don’t see how he manages to survive.

• did I mention that I miss Laurance?? • Why is Aaron not at a hospital I don’t even see a ventilator or oxygen mask near him. Listen I’m not a medical expert but those gashes landed straight on his chest which means straight on his lungs and dangerously close to his heart. how is he alive. how is he not choking on blood right now. we know he’s bleeding out- I’m pretty sure one of the doctors even says “Mrs Lycan, we need to draw more blood for your son.” yes he’s bleeding out why is no one trying to idk stop the wound through pressure with a cloth or something?? (Note: it’s been a while since I’ve watched s4, so if I do get anything wrong thats why!!) also why are the werewolf doctors so chill about Aaron’s ultima eyes? like yes they’re doctors they could’ve been sworn to secrecy or maybe they work for the Lycans but Derek is shown to be really paranoid about anyone finding out about Aaron being the ultima. how does he know they won’t tell it to someone else??

k imma head out now-

thanks for reading!! <3 <3

[piratadelamor]

sometimes i wish i could move to somewhere far away from here and start a new life only to run away from the decisions i've made and the path i've chosen and to not have to deal with everyone else's disappointment

sometimes i wish i didnt have an intelectual job bc i just cant put myself to study and i hate university i hate graduating i cant stand it anymore and i feel like the dumbest person in the world and i feel like such a huge failure

all my friends are so smart and they are building big careers and they've always had this path paved for them bc they were born into intelectual families but i dont come from the same place as them and sometimes i wish i could just do a part time job on something like customer service and enjoy the rest of my life doing things i actually like for pleasure

this is so unrealistic and i hate this so much i wish i was smart i wish i could focus on studying i wish i wasnt living like im constantly trying to escape from my responsibilities all the time

i love being a teacher but im so fucking frustrated bc i will never become the teacher i wish to be if i dont study properly

i still have so many shit to do this year in order to graduate and i feel like im gonna break down so hard bc im so late to do everything i need and i dont have the energy for it i just dont have ANY motivation im tired of my life im tired of graduation i just wanna rest

i even chose the easiest way to get this degree and i cant even do shit with it like how much of a useless piece of shit can i be. im such a loser im such a big fucking loser i hate myself i really wish i could move somewhere else and get a customer service job and not have to deal with everyone else looking down on me. im tired of only having friends so much richer than me im tired of only listening to stories about things i cant accomplish im tired of seeing them and never becoming like them im tired of their success and of my failures im tired of having dreams and goals that dont belong to my own reality bc i only received an education for people who already had everything so i was only taught to dream so high and what if i dont fucking care about any of this shit? what if my happiness doesnt fit their idea of happiness? there are people i admire there are professionals that inspire me there is a kind of life i imagine i'd be happy to live but everything seems just. so so so far away from me. sometimes i wish i went to a public school as i should've gone, sometimes i wish i didnt had got that scholarship, i wish i didnt have to spend ALL MY ENTIRE LIFE feeling left out and behind and feeling like i was so much less than everyone else, i wish i didnt have to grow up thinking so poor of my own family bc it didnt have the money the stability the houses that my friend's families had, i wish i didnt have to study at a place that humiliated me daily for not being like them, i wish i had found friends that were more like me people i could identify with, i live my life always feeling like i dont belong anywhere i go and im so fucking tired of it, im never enough for these places im never enough for these people

i'll never be the person they taught me i should be they taught me i should dream of becoming

it would be great to be like that but maybe that's not my life maybe that's not something i can actually accomplish maybe that's not who i am

i really wanted to be a teacher but maybe this big elite school and maybe this big elitist city are too much for me. i'll just never be good enough

i cant work myself to be good enough

i cant pick up a fucking book and read bc im too busy trying to find sources of pleasure that cover up all the holes i have on me, bc im always so exhausted i just wanna rest and sleep, bc i fucked up my brain and i cant concentrate on anything anymore, and i fucked up my brain so bad bc i was SO. FUCKING. SAD. AND. ALONE. and i spent all my fucking time on a fucking screen

while my friends were going to theatre classes and dance classes and art classes and studying other languages and going to their beach houses and practicing sports and traveling abroad and having healthy and happy family meetings and learning the piano the guitar the violin

i love my friends but i cant fucking stand this bc all my entire life i wanted to be like them and now im 26 and well im starting to think that maybe this will never ever fucking happen

and maybe if i didnt grow up like this maybe if i didnt have such high expectations maybe if i hadnt lived with all this pressure maybe i'd be ok with working harder. bc i'd be doing it from my own standards. bc i wouldnt be constantly comparing myself to people who live in a completely different reality than mine.

i feel like i dont even have anyone i cant talk about this bc i feel like this is about everyone i could talk to and none of them would understand

im just so sad man im really really sad here. im tired of telling myself i should be grateful for that scholarship and ignore all the shit it made me feel and the way it cursed my whole fucking life but i just cant fucking escape from it

[ablackfangirlwrites]

hawks sneaking into dorms to see his 3rd year U.A. s/o who is very legal if u know what i mean, past curfew hours, and trying to keep quiet so they don’t get caught 🥵

A/n if you couldnt tell this ones a bit smutty

Uggggh also also I love him so much and this is my first time writing anything smut for him...hell this is my first not sfw post in a very long time 😪 so I really hope you like it 🤞fingers crosses🤞

"Omg Hawks is totally checking you out," one of your friends whispered in your ear giggling

You just swatted them away trying to hold in your nervous laugh

You tried your hardest to not make eye contact with him

But you could feel his gaze over you every so often

He was at UA as a guest teacher and somehow your class ended up being one of the classes he was teaching

Which was nice of him

But you couldn't help but feel like he had in alternative motive

You and him had a history

What exactly the relationship was between the two of you?

You really didnt know it was off and on for the last few months

Since it was your last year at UA you had worked at his agency as a intern

And from the moment the two of you met there was a lot if chemistry between you two

Up to the point were you were sorta dating

But it wasnt official

You were still in school and told him you really couldn't afford a real relationship at the moment

And he was a busy hero

So the only time you were really together was when you worked with him

And well now

Hawks didnt acknowledge you the whole time he was there

Which annoyed you it had been a while since you had saw him

You thought he would have at least said hello

But he didnt and soon enough his lecture was over and he didnt even say anything to you

"Stupid bird..." you mumbled to yourself later that same day

"What was that all about?" The same friend asked you later when the class was over

But you insisted it was nothing

The rest of you day went by uneventful

And by the time you went to retire in you dorm you were definitely tired both physically and mentally

But soon as you closed the door behind you felt someone cover your mouth

"Dont scream."

Fear struck you as you heard the sound of your door being locked

But just as quick the light was turned on and keigo was revealed to you

He moved his hand smiling "Hey cutie."

But you weren't smiling

You hit him on his chest "What is wrong with you!" You said in a harsh whisper

"Ouch! And shhhhhs do you want your teachers to know I'm here." He said grabbing you arms to stop you from hitting him

You realize the trouble you could get in if someone found out you had a non student in your dorm

"How did you even get passed security? How did you even know my room." You pulled away from him

Keigo just nonchalantly laid on your bed "Never left...and you know I'm crafty."

You shook your head, "right...crafty."

You sat down on your bed next to him "And why are you here?"

"Is it a crime to want to see my favorite apprentice?" He said inching himself closer to you and running his fingers over your arm

"When you're trespassing on private property yes it is. And I thought that was Tokoyami from 1A?" You asked

"...okay my first favorite apprentice who I also have several benefits with....and I have missed."

You smiled rolling your eyes, "Several benefits eh."

But before you could say anything else keigo pulled you into his arms kissing you while he moved above you

"God, I've missed you babe."

He said between the kisses

You couldn't deny that you had missed him too and kissed him back just as vigorously running your fingers through his hair

After a moment keigo pulled away for a bit if air

And started to move down to kissing your neck making you moan out

As the pleasure from it sent waves through your body

"Better...keep... quiet." Keigo said as he started to move one of his hands from your side

To sliding under your uniform skirt and passed your underwear until he was massaging two of his fingers against your clit

He tried to suppress your moans by going back to kissing you

But your nails running over his scalp

Was starting to drive him crazy

His fingers moved more aggressively in you

Until he felt your breath started to hitch and your walls start to clinch around his fingers

And just when you were about to reach your climax he pulled his hand away making you wince out a moan

"Keigo why-"

But before you could finish speaking

He covered your mouth

Suddenly someone tried to open your door and when they couldnt they knock

"Come on Y/n! We're all having a sleepover in (friends name) room!"

You and keigo stared at each other

Not knowing what to do

"Maybe she'll go away?" Keigo whispered

"Suhhh," you covered his mouth with an eye roll "Shes not."

"Y/n?" Your friend called out again

You have him a see what I mean look

"Um...I'll be down...in a minute...dont wait for me." You called out

"Okay..." was all they said

You and keigo didnt say anything till you were sure she had left

"Well there goes our night." Keigo said sounding disappointed and sitting up

You groaned also feeling disappointed that the moment was now gone

"We can finish this later...I should go down...before someone comes to get me again"

Keigo pouted playing with a piece of your hair

"I guess I should go home..."

You frowned, "how are you going to get passed security now?"

He just smiled at you, "Remember? I'm crafty."

[muwur]

idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

 oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡  “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡  “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself  

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial.  You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal’ that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “‘Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more  of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get  to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u  or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it  right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note  rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all  , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3

[sombreboy]

Love Maze »18

Previous  » Next Series Masterlist ▎ 18+ ▎ pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook ▎ genre: School AU, crack humor, smut, angst, ETL, slow burn, fluff. ▎ word count: 7.7k ▎ ch.warnings: profanity, angst, jealousy, violence, blood, mentions of hospitals, yandere side character is back and he's CRAZY

Co-writer: @velvetwicebang​​​​ ♡♡♡

The following day was huge, today was the big game that they've prepared for forever! Jungkook headed out early, leaving Jisoo's home to head over to his own to grab his backpack before heading to school for the last morning practice. This afternoon was it; he had to be in his best form to perform well. Kook made his way to the locker room to change, a bit earlier than everybody else. He wanted to warm up properly, and give his all in the last practice. He loved the thought of competition, excited to show off the endless stamina he's spent countless hours building up for.

Taehyung stalled, lingering close to Jungkook like a pest just waiting to pounce on the opportunity to talk to him.. He waited and waited; until the opportunity never came. “Fucking pussy..” Tae self-loathed, watching as everyone else was quickly ushered out of the locker room by Namjoon.

“Tae, come on! You too.” The Captain was stressed, anyone could see that. Deciding it was for the best to not make a fuss, Taehyung obliged and kept to himself. The elder glanced over at Kook a couple times during practice, wondering how he was doing. Maybe he’d be able to get a hold on the younger before the big game tonight. Tae held on to that possibility.

Jungkook wasn't blind, he could tell that Taehyung's eyes were on him more than usual today. It was weird-- he'd been completely ignored for what felt like forever. Maybe he was just imagining things, however... That must be it-- nerves. He shrugged it off, overthinking was the last thing he needed to do today.

Practice went great, Namjoon praised the guys with a lopsided smile-- the stress and worry was evident, but he was confident in his players. He dismissed the members, Jungkook grabbing his water bottle by the bench to chug it down as he wiped his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand as he resumed to head down to the locker room, the other guys not quite there yet as they stayed around to calm Namjoon's pre-game nerves.

Well, except Taehyung.

Taehyung’s quick, determined strides gradually lost their momentum the moment he pushed on the locker room door, nervous to see Jungkook’s face after what took place between them.. Suddenly, his confidence was equivalent to sand in an hourglass as it dropped by the ticking second. There stood the younger, completely unaware of the motive behind Tae’s hesitant, inclosing steps. He tried not to think about what he was unknowingly exposed to yesterday evening, but Taehyung couldn’t just.. ignore the imprinted image of Jungkook‘s lips molded against someone else’s. A girl. Hell, he couldn’t compete with that.. The elder inhaled a deep breath. “Uhm.. can we— can we talk?” His Adam’s apple nervously danced underneath his neck. “Please?”

Four words. It was the first four words Koo had heard from Tae in weeks.

'Can we talk, please?'

Kook swallowed tightly. Now he wanted to talk? Was ignoring him not enough--now he suddenly wants to talk. "No." He says. There was nothing he imagined that he wanted to hear. He couldn't afford to lose focus, and Tae would definitely not help with whatever he had to say. Kook turned his back towards the elder as he began to change, hoping that would be enough to be left alone. Fuck, this wasn't good. Taehyung had slowly already creeped his way into Jungkooks brain.

Taehyung’s self-confidence deflated on the spot, his disappointment instead peering through the cracks. He’s a fucking idiot. W hat else was he expecting Kook to say? Yes? No matter the initial letdown, Tae wasn’t one to give up easily. “Look, Jungkook— I hate not being able to talk to you.” His piercing gaze roamed over the younger’s bare skin, wishing the two dimples on the latter’s lower back were a pair of eyes. Taehyung wanted Jungkook to listen to him, to see his strained efforts to try and fix the deep shit they were in.

He caused it; he had to end it.

“I-I miss us.. you.” The elder glanced down towards the ground, suddenly wishing Jungkook wouldn’t turn around. If he’d just thought about it for a second longer, Tae wouldn’t have broken up with him. It was an impulsive decision— and fuck.. did he regret it.

Jungkook froze as soon as he pulled the hoodie over his torso. He couldn't believe what he just heard.. was it a dream, where his mind was playing tricks on him? The younger took a deep, slow breath to keep himself together, but it was easier said than done. He really wished Tae wouldve said those words earlier... much earlier... Before he went to Jisoo-- fuck... Kook felt his guarded exterior slowly being chipped away with every piercing word coming off the elders lips, and the mere thought of this was terrifying. He felt guilty, for a part of him wanted Tae back too. A big part. "I... I can't. Okay?" He didnt sound so sure. All he knew was that if he didn't keep his guard up; he'd crumble. And today the game was his priority. Jungkook turns on the spot, regretfully as he saw Taehyung's gloom stance. He seemed sincere... and that only made this entire thing so painful. Fuck, he wishes he could just... hug him. "Tae..." the name was unfamiliar on his lips once more, stepping closer to the elder. He looked a bit different than before-- but before he could say anything else, the rest of the boys came rushing down-- however they came to a halt as they saw their two golden boys in a rather tense situation. Taehyung with his head hanging low, and Jungkook looking absolutely distressed through his doe eyes. The very moment Kook heard the guys, he withdrew the hand he had extended, instead using it to grab his backpack and wordlessly walk away, pushing through the doors with his shoulder before heading towards the dining hall without waiting for anybody.

Jungkook missed him too.. and it was fucking terrifying. Why does Taehyung have this strong grasp on him? He shrugged as he went to sit down in his usual spot in the dining room, rubbing his eyes in annoyance, and an attempt to clear his vision. Game. Game. Game.

It didn't go that well.

~

Taehyung blankly watched the younger scurry out of the crowded room, ignoring his friends’ careful attempts at squeezing an answer out of him.

“You guys okay or..?”

He turned to look at Yoongi, not bothered to include a verbal clarification. The mint-haired male’s flat expression fell. He was visibly struggling to come up with anything remotely comforting as his palm glided over the sweat on his nape.

“Tae, please.. we need you here for the game, alright? Joon’s already stressed out enough, it’s the least we can do.” Yoongi’s never been in love, but it didn’t take a genius to know Taehyung was hurting because of it. He wasn’t aware of what happened between his friends, but he hoped they’d be able to put it off— whatever it was— until later; after they'd secured their anticipated win.

~

The rest of the day during school was dreadful, Jungkook couldn't stop replaying the simple words that Taehyung had told him this morning. It was confusing, to say the least. Why'd the elder have to put this on him now? Focusing in class was an impossible task, the one thing his mind tunnel visioned on was to win the game. Nothing else. He'd sacrificed way too much of himself to let this be a flop. As classes ended, he had some time to kill before he had to go prepare himself, so he opted to go for his trusted vending machine to get himself his favourite sweet, explosion of chemicals in the form of banana milk. With a straw pressed between his lips, he headed to sit where he usually would outside the building by the stairs, fishing his phone out to open his text conversations. He'd still kept the one from Tae, hovering over it with his thumb before opening the thread. The latest message was the one that ended their relationship, just after the previous text that was a promise of them meeting after class to fulfill their needs.

Kook sighed, shaking his head as he internally scolded himself for even going through this memory again. He wondered why Taehyung suddenly changed his mind.. and part of him knew he had to find out eventually.

~~~

The day’s blinding light converted into darkness, the sun’s blazing rays nowhere to be seen as seconds turned into minutes, and minutes progressed into hours. The overfamiliar gymnasium gradually filled up with animated students and proud parents, each one there to support and cheer for their respective team.

Taehyung was hidden away in the locker room along with everyone else, partaking in some last minute stretches before it was time for them to confidently walk out into the lion’s den. Tae was sure tonight was the most packed it’s ever been, the muffled commotion reached his alert ears from where he stood, the faint buzzing swelling to a roar.

Well, it wasn’t that dramatic.. Big crowds tended to spike up the elder’s mild anxiety, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle.

Taehyung’s hooded eyes were glued on Jungkook, replaying earlier events until it didn’t sit right with him. He wanted to make things right between them— for the game’s sake, and for theirs in the long run.

“Hey, Jung—“

“Jungkook? Hi!” Jisoo greeted with a beaming smile, seeming relieved. “I was dreading coming in here.. didn’t want Yuna to see any naked guys..” The woman awkwardly chuckled, gently withdrawing her hand from the little one’s big, curious eyes.

“Is that a baby?!”

“No, Hoseok, it’s a dog.” Yoongi sassed with a roll of his eyes, following behind their friends to greet the newcomer. Jimin and Hoseok seemed extra infatuated with the chubby little human while Yoongi kept to himself, trying to act unfazed by Yuna’s incoherent babbles. Namjoon and Taehyung however.. Both were wide-eyed.

“Jungkook, who’s this?” Jimin’s plump lips twitched up into a smile, curious about Kook’s friend. Jisoo’s fingers sneakily grazed over the younger’s strong, naked biceps. She tried to be slick, but failed. Jungkook looked extra good in a pair of jersey and shorts..

Meanwhile, Joon and Tae lingered in the corner, watching the situation unfold with narrowed eyes. While Namjoon glared at Jungkook, Taehyung glared at Jisoo.

Jungkook's eyes widened at the surprise, expecting her to be out in the audience rather than... well, in their locker room. It didn't fail to make his lips tug into a toothy grin though, giving Yuna's small nose a little boop of his finger before turning to Jisoo. ''Hey,'' he smiled, noting how Yuna relished in the attention of his hyungs. As they asked him, who the hell this girl was, he took a long second to think. They weren't something, but they also weren't nothing. ''She's my friend,'' he settles with this explanation, ''Lives next door.'' He didn't like to go too much into details, that's all they needed to know.

Jisoo merely agreed in the form of a nod, discreetly confused about where they stood. Now that the question was innocently brought up, it got her thinking.. They’ve kissed, fucked (sometimes more than once on the same day), spent almost every waking day together.. it nearly checked off all of the requirements for a relationship. It was a tricky situation, and alike Jungkook, she barely went into clear details— only useless rambling. “Anyways, I didn’t bring you the fancy sign, I know.” She joked with Kook, turning the locker room into her personal stage as she acted disappointed in herself. “But..” Jisoo looked around, making sure no one was in their point of hearing. “When you guys win, I’ll reward you with whatever you want. You know, to make up for it.” The woman stepped back, her usual smile decorated with the exhilaration of tonight’s possible affair.

Taehyung was fuming... He couldn’t bear to see the two of them together after what he came across the other day.

“They seem close, huh..” Namjoon noted with barely any emotion in his voice, arms securely crossed over his chest. Tae, who stood next to him, simply scoffed. “Yeah, they’re close alright.”

What did Jungkook see in Jisoo, anyway? Sure, she was nice.. caring, compassionate, pretty— all nice qualities. Taehyung only angered himself further. The woman was the perfect person for him. It got Tae wondering why the fuck they haven’t gotten married and birthed ten more perfect kids yet. They were so.. loud with their affection, it was annoying.

“Uhm, I mean, how close?” It was obvious Namjoon was jealous, no matter how hard he tried to play off his feelings.

“I caught them kissing. That’s how close.”

“W-what?” The elder’s hands unknowingly clenched into fists, not believing what he’d just heard.

Is that why Jungkook got so angry that one time..? It had to be.

Jungkook smiled coyly at Jisoo as she stepped back, stretching his back for the final remaining minutes. ''I'll look forward to it. Go get a seat before they're all taken!'' he jokes. But truly, there were a whole lot of people. Before Jisoo left with Yuna, she looked at Jungkook over her shoulder, meeting his eyes with a small smile. He waved vaguely as she disappeared out of view before turning back to his hyungs, not aware of the stares he's getting from Namjoon and Taehyung.

''Alright, let's do this!'' Hoseok chimes, working together with Jimin and Jin to bring the group together into a hug, smushing Tae and Kook together involuntarily, Joon as well in the mess. As if it came naturally, Taehyung’s arm wrapped around Jungkook’s smaller waist as their friends huddled together. While everyone else’s was on each other’s upper backs, Tae’s instincts just had to kick in at the wrong time. By the time he’d noticed, Joon’s body had practically locked him in position. It would’ve been awkward if Tae attempted to squeeze his arm out in the middle of Jin’s hushed ‘poetically powerful’ pregame speech, so he let it be. The taller nervously glanced at Kook from time to time, swallowing down his remaining panic. Taehyung’s bigger hand gently squeezed at Jungkook’s hip, his fingers digging lightly into the fabric of the younger’s Jersey. He missed having him this close... All of this unfolded in the midst of Seokjin’s uplifting words, so it was no surprise when Tae had no idea what his hyung had said by the end of it.

Just like Tae, Jungkook was unable to focus on anything that Jin blabbered about, the one thing he was hyper focused on was the close proximity of the elder. The way his strong hand wrapped around him-- the hand that applied pressure on his hip... It brought back an emotion that he thought he'd finally gotten rid of. Oh how foolish he was. He craned his neck forward, his long curls hiding the expression in his eyes, while his lips barely parted in a quiet sigh. He missed having him this close too...

As the group finally withdrew, giving the boys the much needed space and cheers coming from their hyungs, Jungkook felt like he stayed in Taehyung's arm for a second longer than he planned to, quickly pulling away to roll his tongue inside of his cheek. ''Alright, guys.'' Namjoon announced as he gave every member a pat on the back as they headed out towards the court-- well, until it was Jungkook walking past him. A glare shot his way, but the younger didn't take notice of this, instead fighting his internal battle of trying to suppress his thoughts to focus on the game.

Taehyung quickly followed behind Kook, itching to close the distance between them once again. Now that he’d gotten a taste of what he used to have, it was incredibly hard to pretend to hide his true feelings.. The urge grew more intense when they jogged into the packed court, peers’ blaring shouts of encouragement making Tae want to curl up against his ex-boyfriend’s chest and wake up in a more serene location. The younger’s bed, perhaps.. The thrill that used to overtake him at the thought of tonight’s game was no longer alive. He found the atmosphere suffocating, and the roars annoyingly unbearable. The elder didn’t know why he was extra sensitive to the loud noises, but he figured the constant buzzing in his ear was to blame. The piercing sound had yet to subdue, and it didn’t plan on leaving anytime soon.

Before the major game began, each team was given a few minutes to practice their free throws. Taehyung jumped in line behind the younger, building his confidence to lean towards Jungkook’s ear. “I miss you, and I’m sorry.” He whispered. It was killing him not knowing what to expect.. Did Kook want him back, or not? The elder lingered in that position for a second longer, only moving when the string of players did. E ven then, Tae remained close to Jungkook. He didn’t worry about the audience’s stares from the stands, or the questions that might pop into their heads. The rare moment Taehyung wasn’t so caught up in strangers' wandering eyes, was when he desperately needed to be. If he’d been as attentive as before, he would’ve easily pinpointed a certain devilish glare from the crowd.

Jungkook kept his eyes focused forward, however he was listening to every single word that went into his ear. Tae was way too close, in front of all these people... "Why are you telling me this now?" Kook glanced over his shoulder for a mere second to glare at Taehyung, but just as quickly returned to focus on the line as it moved. If there were ever a worst possible time to discuss their breakup, this was it. But Taehyung seemed desperate. And Jungkook slowly grew too unfocused for his own liking. He'd worked too hard for this game to let it go to waste-- and he didn't want to talk about this. Not now. Before Taehyung could say anything else, Jungkook leaped forward with the basketball in his hand, relieved he was able to remove himself from Taehyung for the moment.

Taehyung momentarily paused his ‘trying to win him back’ speech, piercing eyes glued onto Jungkook until he was caught off guard by the basketball thrown at him. Getting in position, Tae aimed for the net. The elder was surprised he made it, his focus was on anything but the game. He carelessly threw the ball to the person behind him, jogging back to a single line formation. “I’m telling you this now because I should’ve done it a long time ago.” Taehyung resumed, standing a little too close to the younger. “Jungkook, I’m sorry. I-I freaked out over nothing, I didn’t think any of this shit through.” He hesitated after a few seconds, “I still love you, so much.. I don’t want to just.. throw that away..”

Jungkook crossed his arms over his chest, grasping at his own biceps to practically hold himself in place so he wouldn't turn around to look at Taehyung. He felt his emotional walls crack, the emotions seeping through was not what he wanted as he was in front of this many people. He took a deep breath through his nose, shoulders visibly tense as he took a moment before he replied. ''But you did. More than once.'' Kook's focus on breathing slowly brought him back down to earth, building those small walls back up to remain as stoic as possible in front of the audience, taking a short step away from the elder as the line moved once more. He just wanted the game over with at this point.

The elder’s shoulders sank along with his confidence. The last thing Taehyung expected was for Jungkook to give in easily, but he also wasn’t anticipating the latter to be so vigilant. Then again, Tae naively played with his feelings countless times. He knew the younger was only trying to look out for himself— and his bruised heart. Shit.. it hadn’t fully sunk in until now. Taehyung fucked up. Bad. He was starting to doubt there was a solution to their problem. “No, you’re right.” Tae kept his distance, not wanting to make Jungkook uncomfortable. “I did, and fuck do I regret it. I just... I really miss you and—“ The timer in the scoreboard echoed throughout the large gymnasium, cutting Taehyung off mid sentence.

He had a feeling this was going to be a long night..

Jungkook turned to give Taehyung a glance before he headed towards their side of the court with the team, an unnamed emotion in his eyes before it slowly morphed into his focused persona when it came to basketball. As previously mentioned, the younger didn't come here to play around. He was here to win. He's prepared for this match with his entire being.

The teams gathered in each side, Jungkook and the others in a large circle as Namjoons eyes roamed the players. "Okay, this is it. Put your everything into this game.." he paused when his eyes flickered to Jungkook, a hidden glare thrown his way before they go back to the rest, "Let's get it!"

"Let's get it!" The rest of them cheered before getting into respective positions.

Along with Namjoon, Jimin, and Jungkook— Tae was one of the first players sent out into the bustling court. It was during moments like these that he wished he was a benchwarmer. Taehyung lacked his usual spirited determination. The elder’s pregame jitters were fully hidden behind his worrisome exterior, and catching sight of Jisoo silently cheering for Jungkook to do his best in the form of an encouraging fist only provoked Tae’s sullen expression to harden. Turns out he wasn’t the only one who saw, Namjoon was one step ahead of him.

“Jungkook!” Joon shouted, seeing how the younger stalled to get in position, likely because he was drawn to Jisoo’s cute antics. “Hurry up, you can talk to your girlfriend later.” He spat, gaze lowering in response,

Jungkook knew how he felt about the older woman, how could he do that to him? Kook's eyes widen before they squint in confusion, completely caught off guard by Namjoon's sudden words-- that were definitely laced with something. He knew their captain had a crush on her, but he also kind of fucked it up himself. "What? No, she's..." he was interrupted by the buzzer going off, shifting his gaze from his captain to the one thing that he wants to focus on; the damn ball.

Jungkook was doing well as expected, his attacking role perfectly suitable for him. However, whenever his captain got the ball, and he was in a free position to get a perfect throw, he was surprised to see Joon ignore him, glare at him or simply just pass somebody else. What's his problem...

Further into the game it was getting close to half time, and Jungkook was growing frustrated with the way he was being treated like this. He was barely able to play properly when his captain's childish antics kept happening.

"Joon!" The younger hissed as the first break finally rolled in, "Why do you not give me the damn ball? I had several perfect throws!"

“Several perfect throws my ass..” Namjoon spat under his ragged breath, disregarding his empty water bottle before briskly turning around on his feet. He came face to face with Jungkook, the anger in his eyes having yet to subdue. “You were practically out of it throughout most of the game, Kook!” Namjoon’s voice swelled, garnering the attention of a few of their teammates. “You were staring at Jisoo! If I passed you the ball—“ The captain cut himself short, biting down on his tongue to prevent anything he might regret from coming out. “If your girlfriend’s gonna be too much of a distraction, don’t bring her here. We can’t afford to lose this game because of you.”

Jungkooks temper slowly started to build, eyebrows drawn together as he stepped closer to Namjoon, "What's your problem? She's not my girlfriend!" He hissed, huffing through his mouth to move the sweaty bangs out of his eyes. "Are you serious? Lose the game because of me? You're the one who's not letting me get remotely close to the fucking ball!" His eyes were squinted, the obvious flare of his temper burning up too quickly-- the audience murmuring in confusion.

"Hey, calm down" Jimin tries to ease the situation, but they all know the younger's anger was like a rollercoaster.

"No, it's not fair!" Jungkook closed the distance further between him and his captain, making sure only he hears his next words, "Stop acting so childish."

Joon had to scoff. “Yeah, okay. Get away from me, will you?” He harshly shoved Jungkook by the chest, drawing the attention of Taehyung who moved quickly on his feet.

“Namjoon, what the hell— back off.” He stood in between them, momentarily breaking the heavy tension that linked them together.

“Why are you still standing up for him, Tae? You caught them kissing. Jungkook moved the fuck on!”

Taehyung’s facial expression flickered to one of hurt, his clenched fists slowly coming undone as Joon’s eye-opening words began to slowly sink in.

Was it.. was it possible? Jungkook moved.. on?

Namjoon’s chest heaved from a mixture of irritation and exhaustion; not knowing how to come down from it. He’s never been this angry at someone, much less a close friend.

Jungkook clenched his fists hard, the veins in his lower arms prominent. His body slowly moved, as if gradually his anger was fueling him up to pounce Namjoon. But as he took a step, he was held back by Yoongi's hand on his shoulder, out of all people. "You should take a break."

The coach approaches in the same moment, agreeing, "Jeon, you will be dismissed for now. Go take a break."

Jungkook's eyes widened, "No way. I need to play!" He turned to Namjoon, annoyed by the fact that he didnt protest, but simply agreed as well.

"Go."

A disappointed Huff pushed through the younger's lips, shoving away Yoongi's hand from his shoulder before scuffing past Taehyung to head out, towards the exit to go sit outside on the stairs. He needed some fucking air. U nlike everyone else who brushed off the players’ hostile behavior towards one another, Jisoo stayed behind to watch Jungkook storm out of the gymnasium. Alike everyone else, she saw the small feud unravel between him and Namjoon. It worried her— made her feel like she was to blame. And by the look on Joon’s eyes whilst he stared up at her, the woman knew she had a reason to be alarmed. Jisoo sighed to herself, disappointedly shaking her head before she broke eye contact. Adjusting a fussing Yuna on the baby carrier, she carefully made her way down the bleachers, on the lookout for Jungkook.

“Namjoon, where are you going? Come back here!” The coach called out for him, noting how Joon‘s feet were already moving on their own. Namjoon clenched his jaw, but he listened nonetheless. He wanted to go after Jisoo, but the woman was already out of sight.

~

“Jungkook..?” After a couple minutes of walking around the unfamiliar hallways, Jisoo finally came across the younger man. He was sat by the stairs out front, relishing in the night’s breeze. She bit down on her lip, wondering if it was for the best if she left him and his thoughts alone.. But she couldn’t, she cared too much. Jisoo didn’t know where they stood in terms of a romantic relationship, but the younger was undoubtedly a friend. The woman cared for him like a mother. “Hey.” She sat down next to him, the faintest of smiles grazing her lips. “Nice job out there— so far. I knew you’d do great.”

Jungkook turned his chin to look at her, his clenched jaw softening at her praise. ''Thank you.. But..'' He sighs as his shoulders sink with his next words, ''I don't think they'll let me play anymore. Namjoon is being an ass... With all rights, I guess.'' His eyes meet Jisoo's, a lopsided smile tugging at his lips, ''He obviously still likes you, so I suppose it's not surprising. But I wonder how he suddenly just... assumed you were my girlfriend or something.'' He ran his long fingers through his damp hair, leaning back on his elbows whilst looking up at the sky. It felt weird, really. He couldn't get the thought of Taehyung out of his mind. ''And Taehyung was acting weird too.''

The sound of Jisoo’s muffled giggle disrupted the small pause of silence, “Kim Namjoon is being an ass? Are you sure we’re talking about the same Joon?” An unknowing smile tugged at the corner of her rosy lips. Temporarily dismissing the hurtful comment he spewed in the past, the dimpled boy couldn’t hurt a fly.. The fond image of Namjoon was soon replaced with Taehyung. Jisoo turned her head towards the younger, curious as to what he meant. “Weird? How.” There was a question that lingered at the tip of her tongue, and if she wasn’t so desperate to receive answers, the woman would’ve done a better job of suppressing her curiosity. “Jungkook... do you love Taehyung?”

Jungkook felt his chest tighten at the question, keeping his eyes fixed on the nothingness of the sky. ''I know I did.'' He let his elbows give in, now laying down on his back fully. ''Then I thought I didn't.'' A nother long pause passed by as he seemed to sink into his own thoughts- ''Fuck, I don't know... He's a constant push and pull.. He kept coming at me at the worst possible moments during the warmup to tell me he misses me-..'' He stopped himself to groan in annoyance, just talking about it made him feel the frustration of his feelings, covering his face with his hands.

Jisoo simply nodded, allowing her fingers to comb through Jungkook’s sweaty hair. “Jungkook-ah, love is not something that can just.. go away.” Looking down at him, she made sure the ground was relatively clean before meeting Kook at his level. The hand that laid closest to him engulfed his significantly bigger one, communicating her empathy in the form of a gentle squeeze. “What made you fall in love with him?” A hint of bitterness lingered behind her otherwise sweet words. However, Jisoo was curious, she guessed some closure would be nice.. Turning her head towards him, the woman broke out into a small grin. She snuggled close to Jungkook’s chest, Yuna’s soft exhales of breaths the only muse throughout the quiet night. “Tell mee~ don’t be annoying.”

~

Taehyung spent minutes searching around the darkened school— searching for Jungkook. He was fucking worried, it was unlike the younger to storm out of, well, anything. When he was about to walk past the entrance, Tae pressed the brake. It was Jungkook and Jisoo... Laying together, they seemed happy. The elder hid behind the wall, chest tightening into a knot at their close proximity. Why didn’t Jungkook push her away? Why did he move on so quickly.. Taehyung couldn’t stand it, he was practically putting himself through hell by lingering around, waiting for his suspicions to get proven true. With his jaw clenched, Tae walked away. He needed some time alone, time to think. He advanced into the only space that was vacant, the locker room. Sitting down on the bench, Taehyung hid his face in the palm of his hands. “I’m a fucking idiot..”

A long silence followed after Taehyung spoke out loud to himself... Until a soft chuckle echoed in the locker room, a tall stature with wide arms crossed over their chest. ''Yes, you are...'' Their voice was nothing short of hostile, stepping closer to Taehyung before coming to a halt, a piercing stare burning holes into the male. ''Why do you have to keep bothering Jungkookie? He doesn't want you.''

It was Ash.

He'd kept a close eye on Jungkook for a while, watching his relationship with Kim Taehyung go back and forth. Apparently, they were broken up for a bit now, and it was perfect. He'd planned to approach Jungkook after the game, proudly cheering for him in the audience. But the hurdle being the male below him kept trying to come back, bothering his little Kookie, who looked annoyed and upset down on the court. Nothing irked him more.

The intrusive, unforeseen voice pulled Taehyung out of his daze. He quickly looked up, no longer seeing pitch blackness— instead he saw red. What the hell was Ash doing here? He’d been deaf to the inclosing steps, even more surprising the sound of the door opening. How did the other know where to find him? “I didn’t fucking ask for your opinion.” He hissed from anger, the sight of the other male being enough to spike up his alertness. Taehyung stood up from the bench, meeting Ash halfway. “Why are you so goddamn obsessed with Jungkook’s every move? You don’t need to speak for him. If he doesn’t want me, he’ll tell me.”

Ash's shit eating smirk grew, but his eyes were filled with anger fueled further by Taehyung's attitude. He took a slow step closer, arms falling to his sides as he clenched and unclenched his fists. ''I have to look out for him. His entire body language screamed uncomfortable when you were all over him during the game.'' he hissed back every word laced with mocking anger, ''I hate how stubborn you are, just leave him alone if you know what's best for you.''

A scornful, amused chuckle slipped past Taehyung, who further challenged Ash by stepping up to him. “You have to look out for him?” Tae’s broad shoulders vibrated, a lopsided smile beginning to pull at the corner of his lips.

Who did he think he was..

“What, did he order a bodyguard or some shit?”

He forcefully pushed Ash by his shoulders, prompting the latter to widen the space between them. Being close to him made him sick. Every time he looked into his devilish, hollowed face, Taehyung was reminded of that night. The night he gasped for air whilst he ran through the dim streets, praying for nothing but Jungkook’s safety. What kind of desperate psycho would force someone to sleep with him? Just thinking about it angered Tae. “Yeah, whatever. You’re fucking crazy, you know that?” With one last glare his way, Taehyung purposely bumped shoulders as he walked past him. “Jungkook will never love you.” That was the last thing he reminded before aiming towards the door, suddenly missing the crowd’s spirited roars. Anything to not be here with him.

Ash crooked an eyebrow, saying nothing as he turned to watch Taehyung attempt to leave.

No. No fucking way.

The crazed rage burning within Ash's being was taking over. He had to make sure nobody was in his way to reach Jungkook. And Taehyung made a huge mistake by facing away from a guy like this. A man with nothing to lose-- and only one thing in mind.

Get rid of the obstacle.

Ash didn't hesitate as he practically sprinted the few steps forward, triggered by the other males last words. He grabbed Taehyung by his hair, tightly tangled between his fingers as he forcefully dragged him down, not caring about where, so he opted for the nearby sink. Taehyung's head collided with the hard surface, almost knocking him out in one go. "He doesn't have to love me yet." He growled, "all that matters is that he doesn't love you."

Ash tugged at Tae once more, lifting his head up only to bring it back down against the sink again. And again. And again... until there was blood staining the sink to the floor... Ash eventually stopped when he felt Taehyung's body weaken its struggle in his hold, throwing the man on the tiled floor with a thud. Staring down at him, he scoffed as he wiped his hand on his shirt, thankful he decided to wear black today. "Crazy for Jungkookie, maybe..." he mumbled before removing himself from the situation, glancing over at the bloody male before stepping out of the locker room. He hoped to never see this guy again.

~

Jungkook had poured out his emotions to Jisoo, time flew by quicker than he thought as he realized he should go back. "Jisoo, I gotta go... uh..." he rubbed his nape as he sat back up, "thank you for... listening to me. And cheering for me." He glanced over at Yuna with a fond smile, "and little one too."

“Yeah, no problem.” Jisoo stood up with him, “I should probably head home, she’s out.” The woman reached down to pick up Yuna’s carrier, trying not to make any bothersome movements that’ll wake the sleeping girl. She was in a deep slumber. Her chubby hands were balled up into small fists, and her pouty lips were parted whilst soft huffs snuck past them. Yuna looked absolutely adorable. As both of them took their time strolling through the empty hallways, Jisoo’s eyes widened when they fell upon Namjoon. The man looked.. distressed? It seemed as if he’d been running around the place, unstable gaze flickering between the two.

“Joon? What’s wrong?” The woman furrowed her brows, her caring tone easing Namjoon’s nerves from whatever the hell it was that took a burden on him. Ungluing his sharp glare from Jungkook, it didn’t take much for Joon to give in, gaze softening at the sight of Yuna.

“Uh.. do you know where Taehyung is? Coach told me to look for him, game starts soon.” Naturally, Jisoo turned to look at Kook, confusion swirling within her eyes. “No.. we haven’t seen him. Have you looked long?”

Namjoon answered with a quick nod of his head, naturally thinking of the worst. Did Taehyung leave the school? They needed him there, especially now that it was a close tie.

“We’ll help you look for him, don’t worry.” She supposed it wouldn’t take awfully long, Taehyung had to be around here somewhere.. “Let’s split?” Jisoo’s gaze flickered between both boys, waiting to see what they thought of her last-minute idea.

“Please.” Joon sourly muttered under his breath, wanting nothing more than to divide Jungkook and his noona. They’ve spent more than enough time together, a few minutes on their own shouldn’t be a challenge.

Jungkook felt his chest tighten with worry, and partially in annoyance. Why would Tae out of all people risk the game like this? He wouldn't. "Yeah, I'll check the locker rooms." Kook agreed, waiting for the confirmations of the two before no longer staying around to waste time.

As he headed down to the locker room area, he checked other rooms and bathrooms on the way. Kook clenched his jaw in annoyance; why'd Tae disappear like this? It's a dick move as always, Taehyung is a fucking-- "Taehyung?" He didn't recognize his own voice at first, but it was. Jungkook had pushed through the doors to the locker room, and was met with a bloody mess on the floor. And in the middle of it, an unconscious person. "Taehyung!"

Was that really his voice? It sounded so desperate and hoarse.

He rushed to drop to his knees next to Tae, not bothered in the slightest about the puddle of blood he's sitting in, nor does he care that his hands are stained with the way he grasped the elders body, gently picking him up to hold him close in his arms, cradling his face to get a good look. Leaning in, he placed his ear close to his mouth, relieved when he felt the small huff of air. He's alive. But it was weak. Kook kept holding his ex boyfriend close, using one hand to pick up his phone and text Namjoon.

Instead he texted the group chat.

To: gang gang 🏀 Help! Lockers

As soon as the text was sent he returned to look at Taehyung, every single drop of anger towards the man practically evaporated, and were replaced with everything else. Worry, anxiety, sadness. Love. Jungkook felt as if he would fucking die if Taehyung did. "Tae, please... Hold on." Kook sobbed out, holding the elder close.

~

Namjoon stayed relatively close to Jisoo, peeking his head inside every door, hallway, janitor’s closet— anywhere that could serve as a hiding spot for Tae. They were desperate, even opting for searching in the girls’ restroom.

Where the hell could he be?

When Joon thought about calling the younger’s cell for the millionth time, his phone’s buzzing chimed in his pockets. “Noona, it’s Kook.”

Quickly, the woman advanced to his side, the brightness of the screen casting a harsh light over their troubled expressions. “Locker room..?” Not stalling any longer, Joon took Jisoo by the hand and led her towards the familiar room with quick strides— “Jungkook, we’re here— holy shit!”

Namjoon’s squeamish heart picked up at the bloody mess in front of him, standing still like a statue until Jisoo’s shaky voice snapped him out of it. “Joon! Call an ambulance. O-oh my god..”

It looked bad. The pile of blood only grew in size, bright in comparison to the color of Taehyung’s skin; ghostly pale. The boy appeared to barely be hanging on. The gushing, scarlet liquid luckily seemed to lose its momentum now that he was turned upwards, but the stream on the dirty floor was a big loss.

“Kook? Why did you text-“ Hoseok’s cheery voice was cut short by a sharp gasp, tightly clasping a hand over his mouth. Jimin and Yoongi shared a look of pure worry, the sound of Namjoon’s nervous stuttering over the phone whilst he gave the person on the other line the information they needed sounded weak compared to their loud breathing. Seokjin rushed to Jungkook’s side, attempting to pull the latter away. “J-Jungkook-ah, it’s best if you let him be, it— it can cause more harm than good.”

Jungkook's vision was blurred by the constant flow of tears, blinking harshly to attempt to regain some grounding. Jin's hand helped to bring Kook back down, however the sight of all the blood only had the younger's anxiety growing, his body reacting without his own say so. He couldn't let go of Taehyung, there was no way.

"Jungkook, you need to let him go." Seokjin repeated, carefully trying to pry the younger's arms open. It wasn't an easy task, but as soon as the ambulance arrived they finally managed to; but only because Jungkook helped to put Tae on the transporter. They put Taehyung in the vehicle, several nurses already working on examining and treating him as another seemed to be making notes about his condition. Jungkook pleaded that he wanted to come with, but was denied. They said he could visit the hospital-- what kind of bullshit was that? The very second the ambulance left, Jungkook hadn't realized his own condition. He was a crying, bloody mess. His legs and outfit was stained with the elders blood, eyes bloodshot and glassy from the constant tears.

Slowly, the group of hyungs approached their youngest, worry and sadness in their eyes. Both for Taehyung and his safety, and for Jungkook. "Hey," Yoongi suddenly said as he wrapped his arms around Kook, not caring about the mess. One by one, every single one of his team had joined in the group hug, holding each other tightly. Jungkook's breathy sobs grew louder, but he had his hyungs keeping him together this time. A large crowd of students, parents, teachers— everyone that was originally there to enjoy an innocent game, gathered around the commotion. The sound of the ambulance’s loud, ear-piercing wail struck them as serious. And it was; people’s heightened gasps emerged at the quick glimpse of a team of nurses run through the halls at the speed of light, transporting a gory Taehyung from one end to the other until he was securely placed in the vehicle.

“What happened?”

“Who was that?”

“It looked serious..”

Muffled talk spread like wildfire, and some aimed their shitty phone camera at the centre of the action.

Yoongi had to hold himself back from freaking the fuck out, instead hugging Jungkook closer, shielding the boy’s frail emotions from unwanted eyes. Had humanity stooped that low? Why in the hell would they point a camera at them..

“Jungkook, your Tae’s strong.. he’ll be okay.” Jimin softly assured, even though he himself wasn’t too sure. Tears welled up in his own glassy eyes, but they didn’t need him breaking down as well. Jungkook was an emotional mess, he needed them the most.

“Come on, w-we’re going to the hospital.” Namjoon said, pulling away from the group hug to dig for his car keys, not caring about the unfinished game.

Jungkooks body felt heavy, unaware of the commotion around them as all he could think about was Taehyung. The moment he saw him on the floor kept replaying in his mind, the uncontrollable quivering of his body only held together thanks to Yoongi and Jimin as the others pulled back, still remaining close around them to serve as a human shield for the cameras. Kook did look like shit after all. But he couldn't bring himself to care.

He just wanted to see Taehyung.

The very second Namjoon said they'd go to the hospital, Jungkooks glassy, reddened eyes looked up at him, his hyungs leading him behind the eldest towards the truck. At a time like this, Namjoons dad truck surely was a blessing.

Jisoo heavily insisted on going, wanting to keep a weak Jungkook company but was reassured that she’d be in the loop on Tae’s condition.

"Noona, we’ll keep you informed.” Namjoon started the car, convincing her to drop it.

The mother had Yuna to take care of, it was late into the night.. it was best if she didn’t throw herself into this stressful situation. It was taking an emotional toll on everyone, especially Jungkook.

© sombreboy 2020. Do not repost, edit or translate.

[mikkock]

Hey hi your murder mystery art is super totally cool and amazing and I'd like to Extra! Extra! hear all about it *rattles bells*

haha wow i cant believe ud ask me THIS! unbelievable! now im gonna have to make a long post!

all info under the cut cause im kind like that ♥

For reasons I felt like making a Fancy Ass murder mystery story, with you know, hella complex secret storylines and everyone having drama and shit, and one person died but the more the story goes the less people care about who did the murder and the more they want tHE JUICY DETAILs. X and Y had an afFAIR you say!!! well that’s thousands time more interesting than that murder that happened, who cares about the culprit its not like any of us are going anywhere anyway! tell me more about the marital issues!

The ultimate Vibes are Clue (the game, ya kno, it had a movie too, and that movie was shot with three different endings -fun fact- so that movie theatres could play one alternatively that way people wouldnt get spoiled or even if they did they would not get the ending they were spoiled or even if all three were spoiled you couldnt know which ending you were getting anyway, big dick move, cause its an old movie and film is expensive, also that movie stupid and campy, ALSO I ONLY LEARNED MAKING THIS AU THAT IN ENGLISH THE GAME’S CALLED “CLUE” wE CALL IT CLUEDO therefore my wip playlist is called cluedo. because. fuck it.)(i just have an emotional attachment to that game i even had a cd rom video game version and it was the spookiest shit for a 6 years old, trust me, i played it so much tho i didnt even understand the rULES i was just making scenarios like gathering the characters in rooms n making conversations outloud cause honestly the banter is the best part of a murder mystery) ANYWAY that sure is a whole paragraph of tangent. 

BUT YE the inspo from the Clue game. you can tell it from the Colours obviously, everyone’s colour codded.(even everyone’s name is colours as well you’ll see it’s real dang fancy! im just remaking that game but with 2932020 characters and more behind the scenes drama and also for gay people.)

So BASIC PLOT!

Sir Belyy, the dude in white, is The Rich Powerful Respected Fancy Boss, and he throws a Fancy Reception Party with his closest friends and associates to celebrate the opening of a new branch of his business. All the lads gather in his wonderful little very isolated mansion in the middle of nowhere, like ok he got a death wish or something or he’s very trusting of his business partners, but not a good move, cause in the middle of the reception, as A Phat Storm Starts (for plot convenience, we going with a campy vibe if you couldnt tell), his body is found, it’s awful, there’s a killer on the loose! All the guests gather, and attempt to maybe contact the authorities, to not avail, since The Storm ya know, phone lines are Broken my dude. Its clear that the culprit is among them, since no one could have entered the house, or left it (cuz once again, ThE sTORm). And then it’s all about interrogating each other, distrust, alliances and betrayal, revealing one’s deepest secrets when they form an alibi and revealing someone else’s deepest secret for they could be a motive! Meanwhile there’s a dead body in the mansion just chillin there. 

.

So as I mentioned, I changed everyone’s name to be colour related (or ya know, food or flowers of that colour cause sometimes a colour in a language would not work as a name given the way names work in that culture all that jazz) which is the trippiest thing cause tHATS NOT YALLS USUAL NAMES but its fun (also changed so many ages hgfhs it was a trip)(still no one’s really old i guess i got boomerphobia). The “Cast” is clearly the most important part, and if ur a True “My OCs” Connaisseur (hdfghd the most useful skill to have, knowing *MY* Charactersdshgd) you may have recognised some faces and can already read some vibes and predict who will be progressing the plot and who will be yelling at people throwing accusations ghdfgd.

(god i wish i hadnt slacked off making the portraits of everyone in that AU i only have 3 tho that’s so sad so ill just make little sketches just cause <3 only text??? i got too many hoes with no attention span for that)

.

Sir BELYY (the one who dIEs lmao)

(bust shot missing the fact that this man is the tallest beefiest lad around)

Intimidating, powerful, composed, wealthy, carries the name of a family who has generations of control to it’s reputation, he’s The Man that hoes who believe in the economy wishes they were. As in, the “self made” man who only just happened to benefit from having a wealthy background to uplift his plans. In his youth, he wanted to prove his worth, seperated himself from his father, started a business, that business became big, then got attached to the family’s business, bam back to square one but with Reputation now. There seemed to be VERY big tension between him and The Father, some speculate it had to do with his unknown mother, and some family drama there, and it never got resolved as old man Belyy died quite young (the jUICY speculations are that current sir Belyy mURDEREd old man sir Belyy, fucked up if true!). People love him though in general, as he has that reputation of “Cold Lad With a Gold Heart” aka he takes people under his wings, donates, doesnt treat his employees like the absolute worst garbage etc... you know, he’s rich and a half decent person, so obviously he’s an angel on earth. But does it matter though, he’s dead! that’s the concept of the story!  

Mr.GRAY (the grey guest)(who could have guessed from the name)

He’s one of Sir Belyy’s oldest employees, and benefits from a high rank in the company. But, sadly for him, he’s been stagnating lately, as newer, youngest employees seem to have Belyy’s favours, and are his prefered associates for important tasks and positions. Therefore he has Some Bitterness, Some Salt, Some Distaste, some unbriddled but professionally muted hatred for Specific people in the company. He can be an antagonistic figure, but the amount of time he spent in Belyy’s circle grants him an immense quantity of information about the man, but mostly, about his business. Anything about the company’s history, dealings, operations, he’s aware of, either having been told of them, or having snooped around to obtain, immune to being questioned due to his legitimacy in the company.

Mr.LIM (the green guest)

Remember when it was said that Gray had beef with some employees cause they were younger and rose to high ranks faster than him and became Belyy’s favourite over him? Yeah well here comes the one he hates the most for that (ofc he’s belyys fave cuz he’s Mine <3) Our lad caught Belyy’s attention for his Exploits in like, em fancy high school tournaments of smart people, it’s a thing its ridiculous, making kids compete on Smart stuff for the pride of their schools n shit, well homie Lim got clout when doing that, and Belyy was extremely interested cause that kid’s main thing was how “this young lad got mad strategic skills tf are u a war general or smth how fancy”, and that’s a coveted skill for ruthless business. So as soon as the kid is an adult, bam, join the company my dude. And because he’s just that Cool n Sexy ofc he met the expectations Belyy had, and old man Belyy got attached cuz it do be such a young lad, a kid, mentally i am adopting. That’s how you get a youngas employee becoming the right hand man of one the phatest CEO in a few years, and even make your way into being a Good Lad on top of a business partner. And that’s how you get Gray to hate your ass too. Now though, fine lad with mad strategic skills, rising to power that fast, and even infiltrating Belyy’s private life? If I were Gray I’d call suspicion there’s surely some shady stuff going no way we’re just dealing with a nice fella who just happens to work good and be friendly to the boss right?

Herra MUSTA (the black “guest”)

Belyy’s newest butler, assistant, house keeper, he multitasks. His family has been tied to Belyy’s for generations, fullfilling roles of help, but also of confidents. He’s been the head butler since only a short time, after his mother passed, and as such is still “in training” you could say, despite having served the family his whole life. There are rumours going around that the contract tying his family to the Belyys may end on his generation and need to be resigned. He known the manor by heart, and carries all keys to any locked room (and mostly, The Master Key, cause in an old house, some doors may be locked beyond all still existing keys). He also knows secrets of the family that no one else knows, but good luck getting em out of him, he’s under contract not to divulge em bro.

Mr. HASSEL (the brown guest)

Belyy’s childhood friend. They grew up together, pictured their dreams together, sworn to flourish together, worked together when starting the company, and then Hassel felt he should create his own thing instead of depending on his friend’s existing wealth, and while Belyy’s business went wild, his never took off. They still stayed very close, despite the massive difference in wealth. Belyy considers him his closest friend, the one person he can trust (fucked if hassel did the murder lemme tell u). So of course, he’s still always invited to the Prestigious meet ups where’s he’s free to feel uncomfortably out of place amongst all the rich and powerful people that he could have been a part of had he had a tiny bit of luck and a small loan from a wealthy relative...People LOVE saying he’s still hanging out with Belyy so much to leech off his wealth, cause of course they do! His bestie status means he has a whole different brand of information of Belyy than his butler does, the Most Intimate Stuff, the Childhood Stuff. The Juicy stuff ya kno...But Bro Code, its all secrets...

Sir RUZH (the red “guest”)

Deep dive into Belyy’s personnal history, the man has many employees working at his house keeping it working, clean, ya know the vibe. They live on the premice, one has a kid who’s just a Joy to be around, all the employees just vibe with that lad, he’s just a born socialite you know? Belyy gets to meet the kid, and also hella vibes with him. And because human are influenced by their feelings, he gives the kid’s mum a bit of a preferencial treatment, in the tasks she fullfils and all, til he gives her an important-as mission, and then there’s an accident n mama dies, and now Belyy got guilt and there’s this kid who just Vibes. So naturally the move is to take the kid in, and play on how his vibes are just so clean, and raise him to be the Perfect Entertainer for guests, bam, its soft power propaganda, if everyone loves your now son’s vibes, they associate them with you too. And also that’s kind of a clean rep, the selfless man who adopted his employee’s son to not have him fall to the streets, how heartwarming. Not at all traumatising for the kid too I bet! But anyway now the lad is just the most charming young adult, mission accomplished. He’s always present at any reception, ready to work his people-pleasing magic, and then going back to a gigantic empty manor to wait for the next and curate the perfect vibes to meet the expectations of dad. On the plus side, he knows everyone, and those who don’t know him cannot wAIT to, he’s just got that aura ya know. People skills for miles, and the insider knowledge that comes with being the son of the CEO, all this hidden behind the personna of the fresh innocent bashful party lad. 

Dr.FEN (the pink guest)

Do not get mistaken by the title, he’s no doc, he will not diagnose you with anything, he just studied long enough to get the sexy title. Study in what? Haha. Nothing shady. Just toxicology. He’s a world reknown poison expert basically, that’s his main thing. Oh but don’t worry, of course studying substances that may kill people is only for finding out how to cure them from it of course. What brings him in this circle? Simple, Belyy may or may not have started to suffer some weird illness that no doctor has been able to find the source, let alone cure, of. Him and Dr.Fen had met previously on some event, cause some rich man also love flexing how smart they are and attending sciencey shit, and he was contacted as sort of a shot in the dark. The lad does know how to treat some things, maybe he can treat The Mysterious Unwellness, since no traditional doctor was able to. He knows science, he’s trustworthy, bam, you’re hired to work on My Case Exclusively. Thanks to this, Dr.Fen has access to the whole health history of Belyy and his family, to many mANY dangerous substances, and also has The Respect of the hoes at the party. He HAS a doctorate after all. Epitome of knowledge. And he’s a kind to people and he wears pink like dang how can you nOT pour your wHOLE trust in him. 

Sir MOREVITCH (the blue guest)

Youngest son of an affluent family, who used to be close the the Belyys. The two families fell slightly appart after the death of the previous head of the family on the Belyy side, as they do nOT vibe with the current one (well current, til the first night of the story ig). But, unbeknownst to all, one strong link had been kept, between the youngest of the Morevitch, who dislikes his family and wishes to emancipate himself from them while also assuring his depart will not throw him basically in the streets, and our beloved Sir Belyy, who also dislikes the Morevitches but loves to see the rebellious energy of the young one (and ya know, my enemy’s enemy’s my friend or however you say that). So Belyy’s basically offering tips and helping Morevitch plant himself safely out of his family’s grasp, but it’s all taking quite some time isn’t it, slow and steady is fine until your parents try to arrange a wedding to secure more political power, and suddenly it is all quite urgent that you escape that situation because No Thank You Parents I Do Not Want A Wife I’m Too Young And Also Huh <3 Stuff You Won’t Like Hearing For Sure <3. The people who know they’re working together also know that it’s a big point of argument between them, the difference in vision between “you have to go slow and steady to be safe” and “I have very limited time to get to that safety anyway so I gotta risk it” “hell no you cant i can’t follow through if we’re going that quick that’ll put me at risk and you’re family’s gonna send gunmen to take me down”. A mess, it’d be much quicker to just obtain a few million bucks out of nowhere and bolt for sure...

Mr.GANG (the orange guest)

Morevitch’s trusted assistant. He hears the concerns, he helps the secret businesses, he lies to the parents about the whereabouts, and mostly, he’s basically a budget spy. The lad got that talent where people just don’t notice him popping behind them and catching all their dirty laundry as they confess it to someone they trust, and he always manages to break into places, get the intel he was looking for, and escape, putting everything back into place as if no one was ever there (wonder where he got all those skills from damn!). But what he’s even better at is being sneaky not only to benefit his boss, but himself as well <3. If he can catch all the info in the world, go any places, nothing’s stopping him from playing double agent and also going behind Morevitch’s back. After all the assistant life isn’t the most glamourous and rewarding, who can blame him from going and using his talents to build his own little exit route, right? Everybody sort of knows he cannot be trusted, but also no one managed to really incriminate or stop him, and as much as he has tea on many people, no has it on him, but bet once found that would be heeeella juicy.

M.MOUTARDE (the yellow guest)(this one is straight up the name of the yellow player in the french edition of clue too when i say its my main vibe)

Moutarde was an influential celebrity. He had a big break acting in a movie that the whole country stanned so hard they basically turned the script into their national anthem (they would have if it was a true democracy where the people really decide), he was so handsome and elegant, everyone’s dream husband. And then the fame fiddled out because it’s how fame is, one moment you’re the sexiest dish on the table and the next someone brings in dessert and baam, its all about that fresh cake, and no one pays any mind to your delightful aroma anymore, you’ve gone cold, they had a bite, their interest is somewhere else. Belyy really admires his work though, and mostly finds his image fits with the brand of his company, therefore the two are working on a collaboration to make Moutarde a representative. This WOULD boost Moutarde’s reputation, for his ads would be displayed on every imaginable surface of the country, and it would also benefit the company cause being represented by thAT sexy motherfucker? clearly that’s a deal. The freshness of the partnership means Moutarde is a newcomer in the guests, a fresh face, with no reputation, no relationships, no unfair biases against him. He’s just the new handsome charismatic lad with a squeaky clean image. Emphasis on “image”. After all, no one really knows anything of his background, right?

Kun.LAWENDER (the purple guest)

Private investigator, very useful to be around at a party it’s almost like it was expected there’d be a body to investigate, he’s a very close associate of Belyy, as there’s nothing more important to business than investigating the rivals and finding dirt on them to make them fall through infamy. He’s not exactly the PI who goes look for justice to be served, he’s just here for cash bro. He’s got intel on everyone, and will only let it out if offered the right thing in return (money, or sometimes other pieces of very secret intel, trade is good). Wouldn’t advise letting him and Gang team up tbh but they probably wouldnt, as Lawender is really more of a lone wolf player, going on his own for himself. The one thing that negates his usefulness as a PI on an accidental crime of scene is that even if he knew the whole truth of the event he would not spit it out unless he benefitted from saying it. He sure is a polarising lad, but at the same time, an untouchable one, he’s too knowledgeable to be taken down. Rather than sneaky, he’s extremely observant, noticing the tiniest details and engraving them in his memory, ready to be linked up to other details to deduct the big picture. He’s the upfront tea gathered basically (as opposed to Gang’s shadow tea gathering if you will, they are similar forces but using opposite methods)(also one of em got a licence n the other does not hAH).

~~~~

Now the secrets, all of em have them. One of em at least got the secret of having KILLED Belyy that’s that. But that’s to be kept for later (for if i ever use this story for more than daydream material gfhjgh) bet you can imagine what some of em may be just out of Knowing what i do, from having seen the characters in other contexts, or just because you’re a genius and reading the character profiles immediatly lit up the bulbs in your head forming the perfect theory, props to you, mad genius.

Honestly my thoughts are just how lit of a game that would be, you get to pick one hoe (maybe sum are locked til u find their secrets for juicy purposes) and you do your invetigation using your character’s perks and disadvantages, and maybe there could even be Multiple scenarios and outcomes, to spice it up, give replay value, i just think it’d be a game id spend hours on. tryin to get the spicy details of everyone’s life. walking around n digging through a rich man’s stuff, witnessing the drAMA of people fighting cause they’re locked in with a murderer and that’s stressful ngl. That or a long ass show @ netflix wanna give me a show maybe? give me hella budget we’re making it animated cause im too cultured for live action. 

whatever i make of it though, i hope i can make this story Flourish, just so that i can lay down all those secret backstories i’ve written. i want the satisfaction of throwing out the craziest secret drama between character n seeing peeps loose their minds, it just is a tasty experience.

also i gotta say, i plug the hell out of Clue for an inspo but when i was building the basics of the story my mind immediatly went “oH MY GOD THE VIBES,, THE BACKSTABBING AND tEAMING UP and all,,, its The Genius, that one tv show where peeps have to do the wildest games that require strategy n they’re in that fancy set that looks like a rich ppl mansion oh god the vibes” so yeah, i rewatched the whole first two seasons cause they’re my faves and that had an impact if only minimal in the aesthetic.

Anyway hope that quick presentation gave you a lil taste of the story, and maybe,,,, got you curious,,, craving to learn more like you never did before (im exaggerating the only real question we all got is just “so who’s fuckin with whom then how many of yall secretly dating” this the real deal)

[lemonpeter]

Catch Me if You Can - chapter 6

I'm so sorry I didnt get a chapter out at all last week. I've been tired and burnt out and out of town at a competition. And I didn't have a lot of motivation after the last chapter didn't get a ton of feedback. I feel like people are losing interest and I don't know what to do lol

(Edit: I forgot tags) tags: @sherly-not-obsessed @mykale-yellow @avaxxc @alette606 @starkravingspiders @smidnite @indecisive-mess-named-me @mercury-deacon-taylor-may @seaweedbrain3000 @aoifelaufeyson @ironspiidey @ironfestivalgoopmaker @darknessyuu @john--imnotgay--watson @t1of3

**

“Mr. Parker, did you hear my question?” Ms. Lin asked, tapping at the edge of his desk.

Peter jumped, startled. He had been staring off into space, trying to figure out how to get out of his stupidly complicated relationship/feelings situation. It sucked. “I-I’m sorry, ma’am,” he stuttered. “I didn’t hear you. I’m listening now.”

She sighed, shaking her head. “Nevermind. Just pay attention from now on.”

Tony glanced over, nudging Peter with his foot. “Yeah, pay attention. I can’t imagine there’s much else going on in that head.”

Peter looked at him, shaking his head. “It...doesn’t matter.”

Now Tony was intrigued. “What doesn’t matter?”

Rolling his eyes, Peter huffed. “It’s none of your business. Let’s just get back to paying attention and hating each other, okay?”

“I mean, I don’t hate you,” Tony mumbled under his breath.

“You have a funny way of showing it, then.”

They went relatively silent after that, each facing the front, paying attention, and answering each and every question. 

Except when Tony kept sneaking small glances over at Peter. He loved how he looked while he was concentrated. Or how he chewed on the tip of his pencil while thinking about a question. Or how his eyes lit up at the praise as he got an answer right. Or-

Peter met his eyes, catching him in the act of watching him. 

They both blushed, but didn’t look away.

A slight smile tugged at Peter’s lips and his eyes crinkled at the corners.

God, happy looked so good on him.

And Tony wanted to believe that he was the source of that angelic smile.

They finally glanced away after a few moments that felt like eternity, a faint blush on their faces. Class finished soon after that and they were on their separate paths again. But both were thinking about each other. 

***

Tony had quickly learned that his mom hid him from the media a lot when she had been alive. 

Because without her, they were insatiable. When he left school, there was usually at least one reporter there to ask nosy questions. Going to the store added a couple more people. This time it was a lot more than a couple, for some reason. 

There was a swarm that surrounded him as soon as he walked out. 

"I've heard rumors that you're planning on selling the company. Can you confirm this?"

"Do you have your eye on any special someones? We've caught word that there seems to be a special boy at school-"

"Any comment on graduating early to run your father's company?"

"Sir, there has been questioning if the Starks were really killed in an accident. Some say it was murder. What are your thoughts?"

That caught him off guard. He hadn't heard any such thing. But suddenly everything around him seemed to be too much. It was too loud, his breathing too short, his chest tight. It felt like he was losing his grip on his surroundings. 

And the questions didn't stop. They only seemed to grow, fueled by his panicked reaction to the last one. The one about the accident. If it really was an accident. 

He figured it really wasn't a long shot to think if someone had something against his dad. Howard Stark wasn't the most likable person. 

But his mom? He couldn't imagine that she had done anything that someone would want to do something so, so-

He felt like he was going to be sick. 

The panic flooding through his body continued. He heard flashes of cameras going off and he hoped that they were at least getting his good side if they were going to photograph something so heartless. 

Suddenly, there was someone shoving through the crowd, making a beeline for Tony. 

The boy was afraid it was just another piranha with a camera before he saw the fluffy curls. The soft, worry filled brown eyes. The oversized sweater tucked into modest jeans. 

Peter.

Tony almost sobbed with relief, throwing his arms around the other boy. In that moment, he didn't care how it seemed or how odd it was; he just needed a friend. Or something close enough to a friend. 

Peter tensed initially, but moved an arm around Tony as he attempted to lead him away from the vicious crowd. "Okay, show's over, get back to whatever other things you have going on in your petty lives!" He called, obviously unamused. He led the other boy in the direction of his apartment building, which luckily was very close. 

Tony stayed close to him, sniffling pitifully and trying to blink back tears. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He never cried! Yet there he was. 

Peter pulled him into the building, calmly going to the elevator and pressing the button for his floor. He looked at Tony. "Does that happen a lot?" He asked, frowning. 

"Yeah. I mean, it was worse today, but...yeah." he shrugged, trying to act like it wasn't a big deal. 

"Right. I'm sorry that happens. At least someone was there to save you, right?" He joked weakly. 

Tony smiled weakly, nodding as they stepped out of the elevator. He followed Peter as he walked, watching him grab keys and unlock one of the apartments. "Yeah. Thanks for that. Sorry you had to see all of it, though."

Peter waved a hand. "Not a big deal. I'm just glad I could help." He stepped into the apartment, tossing his backpack onto the floor. "Ben? May?" He called, humming. "Guess neither of them are home."

The other boy looked confused and Peter just smiled. "My aunt and uncle," he told him. 

Tony nodded slowly. "Oh. Okay." He stood awkwardly, staying close to the door. 

Peter snorted, looking at him. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to. Sorry I did that. I could have just gotten you out of the crowd. But I wasn't really thinking…" He just wanted Tony at his place. Maybe they could talk. Actually be friends. Or more. 

"No, it's okay. Gives me a place to hide out for a little bit," he joked. "But thank you." 

"Then come sit down. And maybe we can work on that packet we got in class? Unless...you don't want to do it together," Peter said awkwardly, chewing his lip. "Didn't mean to assume. 

Tony felt a flutter in his chest, a small smile playing at his lips. "Uh, that would be nice. We can work on it." He moved over to Peter, sitting down on the couch and getting said homework out of his bag. 

Peter beamed, looking at him. "Okay, awesome! We can work together instead of competing all the time, y'know?"

"Yeah. I know. It can be fun. We can combine our genius." Tony smiled. 

Nodding quickly, Peter laughed. "Yes! That sounds awesome. Let's just work on this." 

Both of them knew already they were so far gone. But they didn't care.

[subarashiet]

lifes been weird and sad , got so much stuff i wanna say dont even know if thats the right subred to but here goes.i m 18 , from Greece , first year in Uni and life is not the way i want it to bei live on my own , rent is being paid by mom and her husband , month pocket money given by dad and by my part time jobat some point in high school i understood that our school years were our most carefree years , tho only now do i really understand itman this post is gonna cramp my fingers shouldve used the pcused to hang out a lot till 2nd year of high school then in 3rd year cause of me studying more i was hanging out less , used to have around 4groups of ppl to hang around then only one , cliche but i wasnt anyone special in school , gotta mention i went to a music middle-high school , only highlights i remember are in 2th-3rd grade trading blows with a girl (think she was 5th grade) ,3rd grade kissing a girl in her cheek then running away from the boy-horde coming after me , 4th grade trading blows with a 6th grader ,6th grade punching a guy for calling names my little sis (we good now see him out we talk he a nice dud) , 9th grade a girl i had a chance with but fucked it up big time , 9th grade breaking a cello almost getting expelled ,12th grade playing bass at a concert in Thessaloniki with a music group of my schooldidnt really have many close friends but there were some from school and other places you can call closer friends , but now even with them i ve started to fade away which i cannot bear but i m the type of giving up and not trying until i m lategot laboratory this morning and this is gonna take a while hope i can get some sleepfeels weird using reddit to express my thoughts i even find it a bit cringy talking to myself but oh welli wanted to visit a physiatrist because i ve been so mentally tired that i think i might have crippling sadness xD but i tried to arrange that back in July-August pre my 18th bday so she said a parent was required to be present so i just kept all the stuff to myselfi was learning classic guitar from 1st grade to 8th still play to this day , in music school i kinda learned h2p electric but didnt practice enough to be able to play good , also know some pianobeen listening to post rock and mostly fate music these past 10 monthssucker for good anime tho i ve been out of it lately havent even finished my summer ones , oregairu has a nice ending from what i got spoiled fromanyway thing is i am sad most of the time , i try not to show it cause i like the stereotype of being the strong guy that everyone can depend on and almost never see being emotional and also like the cool tempered guy type , tho lately i ve been craving a lot of attention that i drop the act of the calm n cool sometimesthings with my parents didnt go to well these past years , only now i can say that we ve finally kinda calmed down , mom and dad started falling out of it around 8th grade cause lots of fighting , big sis kindof took the role of mother while on her teen years , feels like she had it much worse than me10th grade sis leaves home to go elsewhere to start studies for uni , i m left with ma and lil sis back homethen i understand that i have to be there for my little sis which also got in my school that year (3kids-3years difference each) so i tried to assume the role of the big brother but she was closer to her older sister than me , i was closer to my older sister as well , feels like i was doing my lil sis wrong but i cpould relate more to big sis and could chat with her more about stufflil sis didnt open up to me a lot even to this day , she has been a lot more comfortable with me through the years i think cause she told me something important recently , kinda feelsbadman tho cause i wanted to be closer to her and i kinda tried but i think not hard enough cause she didnt seem to get any closer , cried once about it in front of my mother which was the absoluteliest worst cause i didnt want her to see me being fragile jesustho even now that i m not home i talk to her play some among us tried making her start xenoverse 2 that didnt go farhave some friends from school , we would only go all together at internet cafes , but mostly 4 of em would go out togetherin my school i had some friends from scouts tooi have an insta , used to post "cool" pics kinda stopped cause i like looking cool in front of others but i havent been in the mood to try in around a year nowused to be in some conservatory guitar groups with some other kids there , with one girl from there i used to be quite in touch until recently that i stopped seeing her for some reasons maybe i ll explain l8rwe had fun and i really mean it , we used to go on trips to play songs on different cities and stages , our group became kinda known the 2-3 good active years we were active , it still is but these years were the originals , now there are other peoplefucking christ its 2:27started playing in that group with the originals in 2017 till 2019 , we were kids from different ages going from 6th to 10th graders but i didnt understand the different in our ages until recently that i found one of the guys from the group in my cityanother closer friend is a guy from my school , met him in grade 7 still talk to him , used to sit together most of the years pretty neat guy , peculiar character but really interesting kind smart and hard workingman why couldnt my teen years be like shirou from fsn that would be awesomehad entrance exams 4-5 months ago , didnt really go as planned , shooted for Corfu didnt get in cause rather than 15 i got 10 in my last exam so i m still in my city , tho i live alone and go to my local uni insteadJuly 2019 i moved out of my old house moved in with ma and her husband with my sis , stayed there till september then till june-july 2020 i was living with my fathertbh i decided to write this post after watching a vid of Korone talking about Okayu thinking that i ve never been in an actual relationship and that i eould want to experience that but dont know where to start from , losing weight ? becoming outgoing again ? learn how to talk to girls ?i started watching anime back in 2015 on my 3ds i remember watching dubbed Inazuma Elevensince like 2 weeks ago i reached 201 anime completedok i ll stop here for tonight cause i got online uni classes tmrw i keep stimestamps for whenever i finally post this -Tuesday 3/11/2020 02:41used to be around 85-90kg in 12th grade , put on around 20-28 kilos since March 2020 , managed to lose 8-10 kilos in the summer but i m still around 30kilos up from the normal amount based on my height , got a subscription to a gym jan2019 but only managed to get into it for a short period on spring 2019 then autumn 2019 then lost motivation and let go , since March2020 i ve been doing some weights at home , tho when i look at myself in the mirror it doesnt really change how bad i feel about my body , i think my old motivation used to be a girl i used to have a crush on but not surethings with my parents werent all that great and i was mentally better when i would talk with them , they are openminded af and supportive too but puberty makes you see stuff differently like everyone is against you like the world is against you (last one might be true dunno yet) , living on my own now seems to be a bit better but as our Greek ancestors used to say theres no good without bad and the bad in this scenario is that its lonely as fuck , having lived for 18 years with my family it really hits a weird spot , everything feels lonelier now with the virus spreading around not being able to see others as much as we used to , uni doesnt feel nice , many people dont pay attention and its like the second half of 12th grade all over againgot my monthly money 4days ago , went from 200 to 9.28 quickly , when i have money i spend when i dont i m stingy , mostly like to build computers , watch lots of Linus , Paul , Kyle , Jay etc. most of my money goes to buying stuff about computers food , used to give lots of money to internet cafes when i used to hang out with the guys from school , not anymorewith the start of uni we all met new friends even i but i still feel like i am drifting apart day by day , stopped talking to my old girl friend cause i was kinda done with her attitude , called me some names i didnt appreciate because i put up with her attitude , most of the time in her own world , only would really pay attention and try to change herself when it was something she cared about , one of them wasnt her character , but to give the goods of her she was a good friend dont know if i can say she still is a friend or just someone i know , she helped me even with the girl i had a crush on , was really fun on trips with the guitar group , all in all a fun person , thing is i stopped texting her and telling her to go out cause it was 80% me trying and the other 20% her and i think that proved right when i stopped talking to her cause i thought she will see that i m not talking to her she ll think somethings wrong she ll message me to go out and have fun , send me a happy bday message posted some pics of me , didnt send me anything else after , stopped talking to her around the start of October , if i hadnt asked her something about her uni and if it wasnt my bday i dont think we wouldve talked in all of october . last saturday i was working in the area she lives in my city decided to call her sometimes didnt answer tried to suprise her and see how she is by going to her house , noone answered maybe they were on a trip idk , but it feels weird man , in the first half of the year me and a common friend of her and me went out one night , ended up being the bad guy to make her understand that she did something wrong that night , after she left i was left with our common friend talked about stuff and mostly her and i expressed myself , i knew that coming summer me and her would end up at different places so i wanted to tell her all the wrongs with her so that she could finally understand what i ve been putting up against and make her understand that she HAS to pay attention to people around her and that she will meet new people and that she ll have to be careful about her character , used to have a bit of crush on her back in 7th grade , can kinda understand why that went . On the other hand i didnt want to part ways with her with our last words being me ranting , one thing brought the other and she wont be going to her uni's city until early 2021 so i managed to go out with her some more in the summer and september . kinda feels bad to see that almost noone remembered my bday cause i remember in cram school when someone had their bday they would get a fucking cake , dont mistake me i got one , from my ma my two sisters and my moms husband , thing is i wanted to have something happen with friends , nothing happend , around 4 people remembered my bday and the others just send me some happy bday messages after seeing posts from the girl i m talking about .also heres a good song to listen to while reading stuff on reddit Sorrow from FSN by MN64 cant post links from what i understandgonna stop here for now might edit later -Tuesday 3/11/2020 15:15thing is reddit is not the right place to get help and i need a friend but it seems i cant get any from my friends , even my other friend the guy i used to sit with in all middle-high school he has drifted apart , talking more with other of his friends doing other stuff etc , that one time i needed to talk to him he said i ll call you in a while , waitied 1 and a half hour then asked him why he didnt call he said he forgot (i think) , feelsbadmananyway i dont think i m gonna keep editing this i ranted enough , gonna leave the post up for a day or so in case anyone wants to add anything then taking it down -Tuesday 3/11/2020 23:58

[will-i-everape-my-despair]

my life

okay where to begin  when i was young or when i wasnt?

alright ill start from the beggining 

it wasnt a great life

well not ideal anyways 

when i was born i almost died, my mother was diagnosed with post natal depression in spain, yeah i was born there ....when having to move to australia because spain isnt good with that sorta support .......my dad said he would come 

he lied

he cheated on my mother and decided to marry someone else, meanwhile my mother braught her one and only daughter with her, me 

i loved my mother because everyone else didnt like me , or atleast because of my mental contition they thaught i wasnt worth anything , i became dependent , and knew a world where you wernt huged nor kissed often, you had to grow up fast or youll be left behind .....mum helped of course but .....idk i wasnt an easy child to take care of , i didnt understand most things like love, respect ect i.....i dint understand emotions , she had to teach me to emote and to sleep, at least thats what she said 

when i first moved it was an expierience but , from then on my scheduales got stricter and my mother would get violent for no reason i thaught , i didnt uunderstand why she got so mad , i wasnt the best child but i never knew why

she hit me pulled my hair blackmailed me berated me ABUSED me 

and yet 

i still loved her , because when all you are taught was despair .......how can you see it as bad?,

expecialy when the world was against you 

======

i moved schools , into a new area  it was fun....i was scared at first ....and it was also my first taste of hope  i prefferred school over home  why? well....my family aint the best  i was often the scapegoat for my cousins actions , which just made the family hate us more ......except my grandparents  i was either sheltered , or mum just didnt have time to teach me idk  but my aunties not my mother would take care of me....when i was very very sick .....mum had to work 

from here it gets fuzzy 

i only remember a few things , when i was sick being forced to go to school, we never celebrated halloween like ever , i didnt do my homework because i would weasel out of it , and for the longest time i felt well.....sick .....inside or outside no idea i thaught is was depression, mum asked me why i feel like that and said then i dont have it 

====

we moved again 

more like we got kicked out 

and then

from there

mum only got

WORSE

we moved into someone named tonys house .....he was....to put it simply, a piece of shit , how mum fell in love is BEYOND me  he....liked to make mum mad....and sick her on me by running out of the house  from here ........i developed insomnia , my pillow was more full of tears than dreams , and tbh i had horrible nightmares , when i told mum she didnt look concerned.....well her eyes never showed it not that i knew ......i was .....always medicated but .......this was new i felt 

lost broken void emotionless empty expecialy after my cousin made me his little prostitute

still i was expected to work, my hair that used to shine like gold in the sun....lost all of it and my hair started turning white , i have more grey hairs than the average teen my sparkle was long gone....and i hid myself in the world of my mind and technology, eye baggs were visible and i dint do anything heh kinda like now.....i went to tutoring....i avoided work like the plauge  around this time however mum told me about her old faith....Jehovas Witness  i was sure why not  i at first ....it seemed so lovely  and i actively participated at this point i was in high school ... the family was in conflict...and school wasnt much better  then came....the dreaded ......scrunchie incident did i mention i was never left alone at home? because i was in highschool and still going to day care well i made friends in this little toddlers day care and well...i was invited to a party.....i just had a shower and lost the scrunchie i always wore and still do wear mum became enraged pulling my ears my hair making me hyperventilate ...i might of died no idea thank god abuello saved me  after a while of tonys bs, and becoming completely dead inside i....we moved again  i was still a JW but then......i became less trustfull of anything and anyone ....i looked at it .....and saw how condtradictory it was  i saw how bad the school system really was .....the more i searched on the net the more i learnt .....and the more i learnt the more i knew...

something was WRONG 

then last year in yr 10 maths......is the devil...expecaily the advanced stuff ....lets just say school wasnt safe anymore and math class made me pass out due to stress mum would hit me over homework, or throw my books in fits of rage then told me its YOUR FAULT i do this , YOUR FAULT that im breaking jehovas laws! and i actualy faught back after she nearly bashed my head in ..........i .....the iron my grandma died two years ago

english class wasnt too bad, but this one asssignment mum re wrote the whole thing ..........because “it didnt make sense “  i told her to shove it and not to be infolved in my work anymore

 i hate school the***pists ......i was overwhelmed......and at the end of the year i ......broke.....BAD....i told all my fellow classmates everything i had experienced........................to come home.....get called by my mother......and get yelled at .....over the phone.....for telling the truth......not because she was scared for me.....but because of her reputation.....she yelled at me and berated me.....i was still breaking and in a flash a thaught  one single thing “would anyone care if i died?” “if i died would mum be happy and free from me” “maybe i should go im a waste”  

i grabbed a knife  held it to my chest and couldnt do it  i thaught of my family, my friends and how they might feel

only to get berating texts and yelled at by my auntie  

then......yr 11 poped up  and the acedemic sprang into place  ....mum and i ......dont ....arent.....we arent compatible i found out after this  it was online work....my ADHD ass couldnt DO that....and what was worse my alters made themselves KNOWN ha  ha hahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA killer kit my mother with a bottle and she whined of how i could of killed her....i distrusted him after that  i cried in the kitchen...laughing like a phycho  ... .................. ............................ and they were very distracting towards my work....which is what CAUSED that in the first place  term 2  well i found a friend group on line  they are angles  really they are 

tbh before yr 11 i was a bit better  but now i had well ALOT of appointments that i dint want  that didnt help  and the kids ......liked making me scared  term three is now  my grandpa died i finnaly cut myself off the JW  i told mum how i felt , the truth like she WANTED  she told me im spinning things that im abusive that shes a servant  i know i dont do much.....but my boddy is broken....i dont have motivation  and this place keeps me sane  and  alive one more year in the chambers of despair  and when that year is up the frail angel that lost her wings will be given the power  to soar to hope once again 

[kendrixtermina]

Now here's an all new theory for where the procrastination comes from

Like the uni councilors thought of like generic selfhate insecurity or like spineless ppl pleasing (nope an anime cured me of that when I was 13 - thst sounded more like what that ladys own problems might be), fear or failure & wanting to spite my father, eveb that getting ahead through "talent" was an unfair advantage bad tainted and evil, or that "talent" meant being beholden and controlled by others (definitely somewhat right - we worked on that, it helped, the second guy was defs much much more helpful & compatible cause he focussed a lot more on strategies than wannabe-maternal pep talks) but there was always something else there that wasnt getting touched

In tje end I dont think I have talent and in any case what really matters is attitude toward "living the examined life" for example whst you do. What you notice.

Now I did notice that things get harder to do precisely because I actually want them(whereas a lot of ppl get distracted from stuff because they dont really want it) - at the same time I can totally function or pick up new habits in day to day life its not like I have some "hardware problem" like, say, ADHD or the like.

Like of course its some emotional knot it couldnt be anything else but I feel they didnt identify what kind of knot? Certainly not that first lady. If im trying to get clarity and you give me reassuring pep talks you just freak me out more for the love of god tell me whats happening. Nothing worse when a Doctor says "it will be over soon" rather than explain the procedure

Fear of/ distraction from wanting itself never really occured to me thats not a common stereotypical fear that ppl talk about.

Let me get this straight I never thought I was better than anyone I knew very well that I'm not. I thought of both those things as ways not to get bullied, maybe get somewhere where I feel that im in the right place.

If I look back at really breaking experiences it was times I really really wanted something and then I couldnt do it or some outside party stepped on my fingers. That Tori Amos Music Video where she escapes from a psycho killer's trunk and then the passerby's dont help her? That was my most favorite music video in the world for years maybe still is.

Like I was told I could maybe skip third grade and I poured all my energy and passion and strenght into that everything I had to do well, make friends with the new class i was so highly motivated I aced all the exams I felt so happy & fulfilled just being in thst flow state all the time... i wanted this more than anything. Maybe it was the first time I really wanted something beyond vague dreams or base desires. But the homeroom teacher hated my guts and put the kibosh on that; Probably because I was unwittingly repeating some of the artogant classist shit my father spouts without realizing how hurtful it is. my parents thought it wasnt worth going to the higher ups for that but having to essentially redo 4th grade in a crap school in the different town we moved to was one of the worst times of my life. Also I didnt find out that the teacher had hated me/acted in a petty way until years after I thought I just failed. That there was a possible place I could have belonged but turns out I really belong nowhere after all.

All my effort was for nothing. It was such a joy - i mean these days even getting code to work or solving math problems has that same joy - but all that effort and joy and wanting did was that... im tearing up and searching for the words to even process this tbh. I think I denied that joy, told myself that I was just a stupud kid thinking I was a special snowflake. It didnt even matter.

Rather than insist on staying up late to make sure my homework was done I just stopped caring and hardly did another piece of homework in my life just faking it on the spot or coasting through. It could have gone another way maybe if it werent for the bullies and my father the chief bully or if only I was more determined but it was like "okay I dont care anymore I just dont care" and I think thats stayed my default response to dissapointment to this day.

This TV show didnt turn out like I wanted? I dont care its just a tv show.

My father treated be with hatred all my life? Its okay I dont care about him and I dont want his love anyway.

Like there were other times when I thought I could be happy.

Like I really wanted to go to this boarding school for gifted kids. Again I thought maybe incorrectly that this would be a place where I can belong and not be bullied it was never about being better than anyone.

Again I wanted it I clamored and cried and made noise nonstop. Maybe I still hadnt wholly lost contact with willpower back then. I still thought of myself as strong willed.

And my father made me regret it. It was around the same time that mom briefly considered divorce maybe I was just the stress valve. Or he took it personally as wanting to get away from him. Duh he abused me of course I wanted away from him. He was such a suffocating control freak! Mom said yes first then he spoke to her and suddenly she followed everything he said. Thats when I really realized how emotionally manipulative was how abusive... i mean one of my first conscious memories of him is thinking "oh crap I will be just like cinderella" but he really laid it on so thick so transparently even a 10 year old could tell its manipulation. If you do this you dont love your mom. If you do this you dont love your siblings. If you dont obey me your mom will kill herself. No she wont you jerk even my 2 year old self could tell youre abusive.

The most cruel thing he did was briefly say yes. Again I got so happy. So invested. Just bending all I was towards that even though he bombarded me with abuse and mental torture.

And then on the day we were supposed to leave he said no youre not going.

Maybe I actually did say I didnt want to go because of one time he was doing this constant scientology type torture on me

That same reaction: "I dont want it I dont want anything so please please let me be"

Ppl think of bad childhoods as a game that you win if yoz turn 18 -or 28 maybe - without killing yourself. But its not. Every year you live it can take away from your potential. Every day less than you have to live it

He sure didnt let me have sucess with his overcontrol and abuse. Anything I was proud of he rules. When I graduated from school with a fairly good but not perfevt final score he humiliated me. When I turned 18 he humiliated me. Everything I did was a burden even just feeding and washing me. Hed give me unwanted white elephant gifts then bitch about how giving them to me ruined his life cause he had to work so muxh "Ingrate Ingrate Ingrate" Butch I never asked for anything I want nothing!

But as I had to eat I did in fact have to ask things of him and I hated it so much.

No wonder that I turned out afraid of wanting things eh?

Hed seen some poster when we went to see tje school I wanted to go to - not by the school by an individual student - about the history of abortion portrayed in a positive way or at least that was his official reason why I couldnt go. Again I had wanted something badly with all my being and again all my being availed nothing. Irrelevant like I didnt exist. All my screaming gone unheard.

And this is so silly cause im not a child anymore I have control and if I were to stop procrastinating I could have money and gave even more control.

I havent even spoken to him in years now hes no longer relevant. Its not about him its about thus bad pattern I picked up.

I like how this books handles it with the idea that certain experiences dont create the type but that it nakes you uniquely suceotible to certain kinds of hurt or certain misunderstandings.

Because with all this discourse about bad message free media ive really come to think that while it can and should be minimized its not possible to eradicate cause human mibds are so quicl so fallible to extract overgeneralizations and make it mean something abput themselves

Like an immature statistical learning model easily overtrained by noisy data.

Another time I was nearly happy was when I started looking for work, doing my thesis...

Same pattern I was engaged, happy to be engaged talking to ppl at both work and in the uni work group loving it all so much...

my life had started to feel meaningful again. And it had gotten to that point in part because of my ex-fiance. Yes the councelling heloed taking up meditation helped, getting high on morning glory that one time helped a whole lot got more self esteem from that than I ever got from my father.

But that all started because of my ex fiance.

He was an i tellectual type and he had a sense of purpose about him like hes a legendary character and everyone around him became legendary too. And he found me useful! Others had called me "walking dictionary" with mockery and scorn he called me his google and it meant love and admiration. Maybe I got a bit of an ego trip off of tjat but I also really stupidly dumbtastically loved him I bragged of him to anyobe who listened everything he did seemed fascinating abd interesting and meaningful, but also I just loved the sweet gentle warmth of being next to him in the morning. Once again I was happy and everything was joyful even when it was hard, I felt strong and meaningful and useful and I let myself openly want things.

And then it all blew up. Worse yet i was so mistaken abozt him it really shook my confidence in my own judgement or any sense of clarity. I was si confused during the fucking breakup like I hadnt been since I left my father's house.

Google hah! More like his personal Alexa! It turns out he didnt respect or like me at all.

I couldnt even be sad or angry cause it was all my mistake. The one feeling I allowed - and even that took me weeks to identify - is dissapointment. Heavy leaden dissapointment i didnt even kniw that was a feeling you could feel so strongly. I didnt even do anything wrong you have to open yourself to have love. He could habe choosen to love me he just simply didnt. He probably thought he did but he wouldnt evebn do something as simple as not make fun of my voice or clean when I am sick.

Once he started putting me in the "wife" role he just became unable to see me. His loss really cause I think he wanted to keep me from all those annoying texts and email he had the nerve to write.

By all means I was right to trust but also right to leave later but still my sense of certainty and purpose and meaning was totally shaken. He did the sort of romantic stuff I didnt think was real. I knew I loved him when we had this conversation about water on mars. He got me the perfect books for my birthday! He said I was pretty and a genius and looked just like an actress. He got me this titanic esque heart pendant with stars. We were stuck at midnight in a train station that one time and he pulled out a picnic rug two plastic glasses and a shampain bottle. It never worked out but he said he might take me to see the LHC! I really thought we would be buried in the same hole folks!. He had read that same steven Hawkings book that I loved. One of the rather few books he actually read as I would find. Sigh.

And I fell right back into that same old pattern. Dont care about anything dont want anything it would be stuoid unrealistic and silly to want.

When I first came to uni I also had this feeling of hapiness and belongingness and wanting, I was putting in an effort, talking to ppl more.. and when things went wrong the slightest bit I pulled by hand back from that like from an open flame.

And here I am years later most the sucess or contact I get is comments on my fanfictions.

I thought I was doing that, or drawing, because its Stakes/Evaluation-free (going by the fear of failure theory) or because at least with the ffs gratification/payoff for effort is immediate compared to original stuff or uni work. Its a nice little niche at least.

I mean I do care about it its not "just" distraction but maybe ive been profaning it in that way... and so etimes I dont even do that and go for full unadulterated undebatable distraction; Line to 7 I guess. Tje only reason I spoke face to face to anyone else than the delivery guy this week is that I had some doctors appointments.

But not its distraction from stuff Im too lazy to do or even from pressure like I always thought. But from wanting things.

So the original fiction went great while it was a distraction from school not so much when its one of the things I most want and actually have the time to do it.

Even thought thats the most practiced skill I have that I never stopped working on since I was 10. 🤦‍♀️

I mean they already explained that its basically like meditation. Or weeds. Or popup ads. Youve got to click them away as they pop up.

I always told myself thst I didnt have to be happy... and thats not even untrue actually but it would sure be neat to be happy again one of these days.