#why is it xmas? because i had this idea during xmas because my xmas was fucking awful and it actually just took me forever to finish this

[mbat]

this took forever and i think it was worth it

(adding names for search reasons) koralei, ena, eddie, lee, vee, danny, ruby, nightcloud, pg142

[lizaluvsthis]

SPOILER FOR THE NEW EPISODE! CHRISTMAS WARS! SCROLL OUT IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED IT YET!!!!

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"Hey Liz how'd that new christmas episo-"

*ME BREATHING HEAVILY*

Consider on Smg3 having a good point for hosting his own party (why cant he just throw a party with the dead memes? Like invite them in his cafe right aw-) thats exactly why. Dead memes cant re-enter the living realm. (Also the reason what happened during the 10th year anniversary episode because we DONT want that mess again?

So instead of dead memes he literally chose to host it WITH his new friends this time. Smg4's crew.

"But why tho? Didn't he hated them?" YES. but at the same time. Please dont forget his mere messages during IGBP on the line he says "But I've met your friends man..." again. Ask me WHY theres another reason he moved in next to four's castle?

(He doesn't want to feel alone again not only four was the reason but his friends too)

Okay but when after the castle and three's coffee shop got burned down by santa clause, where do you see that bright explanation from the crew.

AND LITERALLY. SMG3 IS ON TSUNDERE MODE ACTIVATION WHERE HE- BLUSHED- I mean its okay- its totally fine its perfectly normal.

Not for three. He never celebrated christmas in the early 2020 not even after the arc but four was kind enough to invite three in the recent years to make him have to experience whats special about it.

But three was too embarrassed from four's crew because they've shown alot of kindness towards him that he'd never experienced at all and this was his first time hearing it all out on them.

After he says "f-friends?!" He continues on playing "I'd rather die than have you guys as friends"

Which also meant he did. Almost. Die. Saving four.

Did you notice smg4 in this scene? Did you see the way he looked at three? Did you SEE how he giggled and laughed just by seeing his expression?

Heart tingles you know? And this IS also the first time he's done that.

Wait for it...

WAIT FOR IT...

WOW SMG4 THAT BACK HOLD AT THREE WAS SUPER SMOOTH I'M OBVIOUSLY BLIND TO MYSELF THAT I CANT "SEE" WITH MY OWN EYES.

And NOT ONLY THAT- EVERYONE'S REACTION WERE THE SAME PLACE EXCEPT WHO? MARIO.

WHO'S MOUTH IS OPEN AND MAKING A HAPPY EXPRESSION (that also means... HE HAD JUST WITNESSED FOUR BEING A F-KING FRUIT AGAIN-) (MARIO BEING A REAL SMG34 SHIPPER IS SO REAL)

Not only was it delicious- Three too was smiling at four, supporting his idea and not even LEAVING by his side. (Like have you noticed right after both of their places got destroyed- these two completely HAVE NEVER SEPARATED AND STUCK CLOSE TOGETHER?)

This also provens he's on the right role after all. His character development did improve his changing around his friends even after 2020th - 2022nd

Who knows that maybe four's crew knew that three wasn't so bad after all? That he was just in need of friends because he'd been so alone from time to time?

Still. He smiles. Not just for the holiday spirit, but to his new friends, and four to have on. (Mention of mario makes turkey for upcoming xmas episode four convinced EVERYONE from the crew including three, BUT HE NEVER LEFT BY HIS SIDE. Literally the moon is stuck with the sun)

Four and three? They both contacted atleast EVERYONE from town they know. (Even three never considered belle, whimpu, or the so called fake-other-versions of theirs who became his crew during 2020th wotfi he still has a heart to consider them all as being in part of his life.)

We never get a mistletoe scene sadly but we had a precious smg34 collection here...

Even after this hand taking, Three and Four looked at eachother together before they start to sway and celebrate the christmas holiday.

"Liz it's just two of them looking whats so important from that?"

You dont see these fruits being like that often, so its a very rare one in the new episodes. (Considered again. Three has gone soft. TOO soft for being with four's crew and being with... smg4...)

He wasnt even angry or done with this bs he still had that christmas spirit and all that matters is celebrating it with four and his other new friends.

OKAY THERE IM DONE I'M EVEN GONNA BE MORE ILL-

*insert audio losing pulse*

[ghosttotheparty]

random life updates for anyone interested:

- starting my last year of university next week; beyond freaked out bc idk what im doing with my life, but finding little mercies in the mundane to keep me sane. coffee, kissing my dogs nose, waving at babies in shops, etc. i have yet to start my dissertation but i have shifted my original plan from ai ‘art’ and why it sucks to the importance of having an open mind when it comes to dadaism and the idea of what art is in general. this is mainly due to lack of resources around generative ai in regards to the art community

- started a website for my artwork! still have to pay for the domain name, but i have a few blog entries and a portfolio and a page for commissions. i have to contact my aunt, who i did three commissions for this summer and who has yet to pay me, because i want to use the money from those comms to pay for the domain and starter inventory for my shop, where im hoping to sell prints and stickers

- travelled overseas by myself for the first time this summer, and got a (kind of) job! i actually enjoyed the flights (i watched bottoms for the first time!) and security was not as scary as it used to be. (is it bc im on medication now? probably but also the airports were fairly quiet (which was crazy bc i left from heathrow) and i had direct flights which was nice). i worked in a local art gallery and gift shop in retail and i got to help set up an exhibition and it was a rly great opportunity to meet artists and get experience in retail. i found that im fantastic at chit chatting with people and definitely have a chameleon effect w southern accents.

- got officially diagnosed with tourette’s. will i be writing another eddie w tics fic bc of this? mayhaps

- started digital art and have been working on it fairly regularly; still trying to figure out an art style but i think i might be getting there— i finally got an apple pencil (everyone say thank you robins grandma) which has been marvellous

- learned how to crochet; i cannot for the life of me read crochet patterns so ive only made a hat for my brother (using a youtube video as guidance), half a scarf bc i ran out of yarn, and a small throw blanket, but it’s v fun to just fidget while watching movies and stuff— im going to make another hat for my brothers xmas gift using yarn from my friend

- i found that i am crazy good at recognising voices; my grandparents listen to almost exclusively classical music so they started playing pandora radios during dinner while i was with them, and my darling grandfather would quiz me about who the artist was and what the song was called. i often would name the artist based on their voice (usually only knowing one song by them) but wouldn’t know the song and usually hadn’t even heard the song before. my grandpa was continually impressed. he’s my #1 hypeman

photos from my summer:

1. one of the commissions for my aunt; peter rabbit for her upstairs area with bookshelves.

2. my grandpa preparing some figs left by their next door neighbor; i found that my dislike of fig newtons is just my dislike of figs. but they were pretty.

3. went on a ‘moth walk’ with my grandparents; there’s an arboretum near their house, and some people showed up to listen to a moth expert talk about moths. he’d set up equipment to attract moths and it was sososo fun. this is one of the moths (i don’t recall what it was called, but the leader had his own nicknames for them all) that i got to hold. i also got to hold a firefly for the first time. it was magical.

4. my grandma is a quilter— this is her piecing together a small quilt that we made together for a friend of mine that had a baby recently.

can’t think of any more updates but i’ve realised that i’m spending more time on twitter these days than i am on tumblr so <3

[actualbird]

merry xmas eve kuya zak!!!! sorry in advance if this is filled wiht typos i had my very first bottles of soju and san mig light tonight haha.

hope ur noche buena was fun <33 hope this year was good to u and i hope the next year is gonna b good to both of us

also if ur willing to divulge what was it first drinking experience like??? what did u drink and with whom and what did u feel the day after etc etc idk now that im tipsy i wan know how othe rpeople experience it

neway thank u for being here in general ur blog and ur fics brought me so much joy and im glad u made every wip and published fuc and every analysis and every silly and not so silly but sad headcanons

lotsa love !!!!

that one marikenyo In Ur Inbox All The Time

wahhh merry christmas, inbox-marikenyo :DDD!!! i saw this ask on christmas eve but during then i too was also drunk off a few cocktails and promptly passed out a little bit later orz

i had a great noche buena!! i kept falling into a food coma because i kept eating so much, as the lord intended <3 JHVSKJHFVSD. i hope you also had a great christmas eve and are having a lovely christmas day today ^w^

and as for ur q, my first Real drinking experience was at a party i went to on my last year of college actually in 2020 right before the pandemic hit omg, kinda "late" by some people's standards. i say Real drinking experience, cuz prior to that party i did drink sometimes, but never enough to get drunk!

at that party though, i was with my girlfriend and it was the party of her college org and i was continually handed drinks. i Definitely Got Drunk.

what did i drink? no idea. a mutual friend of my gf and i was mixing the drinks and i never ask whats in stuff, i just drink whatever tastes sweet enough or is drowned in enough soda that i can stomach the bitterness of whatever alcohol content is within.

how was i when i was drunk? the same way i am when i get drunk nowadays: absolute disaster jahsfvasfhasvkfjh. i tend to get loud and lose all my filter when im drunk. also clingy. two things i remember clearly at that party are

1 ) my girlfriend went to the bathroom and i sat on the floor texting another friend about how i missed my girlfriend So Much and i love her So Much. later, when my gf had to leave early before me, i loudly announced "IM GOING HOME, MY GIRLFRIEND IS GONE SO I DONT WANNA BE HERE ANYMORE"

2 ) i was talking to the mutual friend who was mixing the drinks and he was talking about how he plays billiards. i remembered how billiards gloves looked like (it's like a normal glove but two fingers are out in the open) and i said something along the lines of "oh my god so you wear the WHORE GLOVES. why are billiards gloves so fucking SLUTTY"

thats pretty much how i am when im drunk up to this day ajhfvajshf but i seldom drink enough to get to That point, basically only at parties since like, im not the one paying for the drinks LMAO. when i drink lots, i get drunk. but when i drink little, i just get sleepy.

and when i drink enough to get drunk, the next morning always has me regretting Every Decision Ive Ever Made because i always...always....forget to drink water the night before....people around me try their Best to hydrate me while im drinking, but i get stubborn and forgetful and when im handed water i just put it down instinctively and look for something sweeter and usually with alcohol in it and im caught in a vicious cycle that ends with a fuckoff terrible hangover

but it's nothing a soft boiled egg breakfast cant fix HAHA

hope that answered ur q :DDD!! and thank you for the well wishes and the kind words ;v; im really glad that the stuff i make here can bring joy, and i really hope i can make more things in the future

sending u all the love too, inbox marikenyo!!!

[strawberryclothing]

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[bosskie]

The Year of WIPs...

A long post ahead... Telling and revealing you some stuff:

Yeah, frankly I don't have time to finish this piece for this Xmas and even if it can look 'close to done', it's not... But I might finish this for next year! I just noticed that this whole year I have done no single 'proper' drawing... I just haven't had time (and had too much ideas), and I must do stuff during my holiday, so yeah, my Xmas feels like this:

Thanks OWI for this 'mood image'! I must admit I have loved those 'Molluck's Monday motivation' posts OWI, I mean Magog Cartel, has been posting this month. I just cannot help myself with this Gluk... So yeah, that's why this year I wanted to draw him under the mistletoe, offering a big kiss (he got a huge mouth, compared to mine...); just some Xmas silliness. Yes, I have done some proper measuring how big he is compared to me in 3D, thanks to my (WIP) Molluck sculpt. I guess that it would be the best to let that sculpt be and redo the whole model in a proper way since I do really wish to create my own 3D Molluck model that is exactly like the official one, though with some 'improvements' of mine. So, when I have time, that will be my project (I want it so badly...).

But yes, he is huge but his legs and well, his torso is about the same as mine (my version at least). My head is compared to his from his eyes to his mouth, so yeah, it feels like he could just put my head into his mouth... These size differences are based on the actual ones, just compare this Molluck (7 ft = 213.36 cm) to Abe (5′8″ = 172.72 cm):

Yeah, he is huge! But frankly, it only 'excites' me... But mainly just because he is also small at the same time... I dunno how many times I have already said this but I just wanna repeat that he is just so beautiful in my opinion, that body, those eyes... How the odd OWI managed to create 'my dream' that I had no idea of until I saw it... I just keep repating this since I just don't get enough of this Gluk...

Oh, and whenever I paint, my drawings tend to change a lot... I did save my progress with this one, so here's the 'evolution' of this one:

Yes, my drawings tend to get smaller too... But I must say that it was quite difficult to do this expression... I have tried to draw it before too but failed... But now, I just pushed harder and I managed to do it! Though, it still needs some work but it does look somewhat like I want it to be.

I would totally kiss him, was there a mistletoe or not, cover him in them! I must say that his body and those size differences give some challenge to be with him physically but it's totally possible but not in reality... Just only if he was real... I would give him so much love, kisses and caressing, hold him, help him to stay calm... It's probably not a surprise that I'm like totally on Molluck's side, if I had to choose his or Abe's side... I just laughed when I got the 'bad ending' in Abe's Oddysee, for the first time... I laugh like every time when his fellow Gluks getting killed in Soulstorm too, mostly because I tend to watch those cutscenes without any sound effects... Just odd 'screaming' without the sound of bullets... Yeah, I laugh with Molluck, make my own dark jokes about him and Abe too... I have planned to draw some of them but dunno if they are too brutal... Well, I'll warn if someone doesn't wanna see Abe 'getting boned and brewed' by Molluck...

I do understand the love for Abe and don't hate him but Molluck has just taken my heart... He is just so an adorable, precious lil big Gluk! He just doesn't feel 'evil' to me... I do feel like there somewhere, Molluck has a heart and he is able to love. I don't wanna 'justify' him but understand him and his actions. He lives in a tough world, has been working hard his whole life, backstabbed people to ensure his position and so his surviving. If you fail, you are out, so Molluck did what he thought he gotta do, and frankly, those 'Molluck's Monday motivation' posts do describe his personality with this. But despite of all this, I do see that he has 'a soft side' and can be sweet and loving, or at least I do see him like this. I do understand him not wanting anyone to waste his time but can the time be ever wasted if you spend it with someone you truly love? Time may be the most precious thing we can give to our loved ones, it's limited...

Frankly, I have felt quite depressed lately... I had a better phase for like two weeks but now, I'm just doing my best to deal with it... Last night, my mind just told me that I should be shouted at, how crappy I am, when I tried to sleep... I have just felt so unlovable, that love is not for me and I should just accept it... But even when I feel like this, I see Molluck telling me that it's not true... It's still difficult to believe in that I'm lovable but it still makes me feel much better to imagine Molluck giving me his affection than thinking that I should be his next meat product... I'm still not totally sure if it's just the painful truth or a lie my mind keeps telling me... I do still wish that one day I'm truly able to believe in what my mind tells me thru Molluck, that I'm truly able to tell myself that I'm enough and lovable... I just feel like I'm never doing enough... Even when I get and have gotten the best grades from my studies, I just feel like I haven't done enough work to really 'deserve' them... According to my mind, I'm not enough to be loved but all the others are... I'm just a failure no one else sees... I don't even know why I suffer from self-hatred... I see no reasons to hate myself but I still do, so much... Just nonsense but real...

I don't wanna spoil anyone's mood with my mental health problems but I just cannot pretend cheerful when I'm not... Well, to make the ending 'lighter', I could tell you one of my Molluck jokes I keep laughing at...:

What did Molluck say when he farted? 'It was that Abe guy imitation!'

Frankly, I have wanted to draw this one... But I felt like telling it now and it made me already smile! And yes, I laugh at farts... Honestly, to me the best content in Munch's Oddysee is the Gluks and farting into Munch's face... I admit that I laughed a lot when I did that for the first time... I haven't wanted to say this earlier but man, I just feel like opening up now, that yes, I laugh at farts... It just makes me feel like laughing when I imagine Molluck farting... I cannot help myself... Enjoy childish stuff but also dark jokes... One big reason why I even love Oddworld is that dark humour! I laughed a lot at that concept art of Munch being attached to Lady Margaret when I saw it, for example... Oh, and well, I could reveal that yes, I do have drawn Molluck's mother but I haven't wanted to show it because well, it's a WIP and it's been one idea that I have wanted to keep as a secret until it's done... But if I don't manage to finish that thing next year either, well, I'll show you the WIP! I don't wanna tell you more but you do have seen a cropped WIP of it already, over a year ago; it doesn't give you any idea of what it is but it's one reference, that's one more thing I can say. Well, it's kinda a dark joke too... But hey, Oddworld is dark!

Man, I wrote much more than I thought I would... I have been wondering if there's cold or warm weather at the Yaymans at Xmas and one of my ideas was to finish that beach WIP for Xmas but I felt like doing that mistletoe one for myself but here's this WIP again:

Welp, if this year was 'a year of WIPs', maybe next year I got time to finish these, or at least one of them... But even I haven't drawn much this year, I feel like I have improved with my Mollucks, though I do still feel like I have a lot to learn when it comes to art... I need to study Molluck more too... He ain't easy to draw, even he is like the only thing I draw, right now... I just wish to create more Molluck content...

I'm still glad if you enjoy my Molluck stuff, despite of my problems! This whole blog was created that I can spread my love for Molluck since this Gluk just means so much to me... Mah precious baby... Even he is mere fiction, there are still ways to be with him and welp, I can admit one more thing: I have created one odd Molluck sim in The Sims 2 by messing a lot with the sliders and doing my own textures... Just haven't felt like showing it, mainly just because I only did it for my self-insert stuff and it's an odd slider mess (I hid the nose by making it huge...)... He has a cigar too! But I can show it if you truly wish for it, so feel free to ask. But yeah, when I truly have time, I'll do proper 3D Molluck stuff. I did that one simple, stylized Molluck model this year though:

I'm not sure if I'll finish this one either... Though, it's not much (minus all the stuff I need to do in order to make animated...), so I can see it if the inspiration hits me. And yeah, I didn't wanna reveal whose style inspired me here but since I dunno when I'm gonna continue this, I'll tell you: Osamu Sato. Those odd, old PC games of his just inspired me with this one and I wished to see what like Molluck would look like in his style. I'm not good at imitating anyone's style but I guess that the inspiration can be seen there...

It seems like I couldn't just shut up about Molluck stuff... Well, I could say out loud a lot stuff I have been thinking about telling you... Though, there is still some more but I'll tell you them later on. I just have so much ideas for Molluck stuff... I haven't forgotten that 'Barbie girl song Molluck version' I once mentioned either... Don't ask why I got an idea of Molluck singing it (with pretty much totally different lyrics), I dunno either... Man, I wish to do more Molluck dubs and I really feel like trying to make that song... Yeah, I do Molluck stuff in different formats...

But yeah, I guess I should just stop now... Thanks for your time!

~ I wish all o'ya Happy Holidays and New Year!

[megan-bopo-journey]

15th December

This morning was a tough morning with coeliac stuff. I'm feeling extremely anxious about glutening myself being pregnant but also this weird imposter syndrome just thinking about how relaxed I've been with this diet and yet I still fell pregnant and have seemed to maintain the pregnancy so far. I'm also 11 weeks which is when mum and Beth both lost their first pregnancies. I feel like because I havent been careful enough with my diet that I 'should' experience a miscarriage too, even though that's not how it works.

I have my work xmas party tonight and even though I called and confirmed they know what cross contamination is and how to avoid it I'm still scared that they'll react badly, or it'll bring up sympathy from my colleagues that I just cant deal with right now. I still have no idea if I'll go to Ash's thing, I'm leaning towards yes but I am feeling exhausted because I then have the thing on Sunday which again is around food and not a lot of time to set myself up for the week. I'm so thankful I only have one week left of work because between the anxiety with this pregnancy, anxiety coming up to social events with coeliac while trying to work I am TIRED!! Tired of making the decision of bringing my own food or asking all the coeliac questions and taking the risk, tired of thinking of what to eat all the time and meal prepping. Yesterday I got Roll'd and immediately regretted it because I KNOW it's a may contain and I should avoid it. But I was starving and didn't want to buy snacks I just wanted a proper lunch for once! And then I felt guilty and so worried I'm hurting my baby because I just can't manage how fucking strict this diet is. I hate how much stress this time of year brings because it all revolves around food which means me having to make decisions that I never asked to make. I feel like it isn't this hard for most people and I don't know why I just can't get past it. I'll be fine during quiet periods where there's not as much social events but as soon as there is I burn out so quickly. I tried to promise myself to follow up with 'treats' after events however when looking into it I don't always have time for solo dates and I still have to advocate for myself even if the restaurant is known for being coeliac safe. I'm getting my hair done on Monday (which is funny because I also had a hair appt after the retreat thing that was stressing me out so much) and apart from christmas day and the 27th that'll be it for food events for the year. Perhaps I just need to focus on doing the best I can to survive the end of the year mental health wise even if I can't advocate for myself every time and hopefully the new year I can focus on it more.

PLAN:

Tonight: "Just letting you know that I have coeliac which is like a severe gluten allergy, just wondering if you would be able to prevent cross contamination with the other pizzas when making mine?"

Tomorrow: Bring my food, just tell people "it's just easier", always the option to leave if it gets too hard. really think about whether I want to attend these events next year (this will be a good therapy topic) -this will be the hardest event, I want to push myself to at least try and go and I'll be relieved it's over but also proud of myself for going.

Sunday: I feel confident eating Elizabeth's mousakka and will be providing the pav so I know I'll get a safe dessert :) Be mindful with the crackers and dip etc.

Monday: get things to make chicken wraps for the week

Thursday: suggest non-food things with Navin e.g. starbucks, walk the river if she wants, nails done? tell her I am scared of getting glutened since getting preg

Xmas day: hard to control/predict, just do the best I can

27th: offer to order the chicken and let them know someone eating it has coeliac/severe gluten allergy

28th: unsure if I'll go, decide before xmas and just decline invitation.

Oh yes and thank god I have therapy on Wednesday!!

[anothersebastianblog]

Lately the behavior of Seb (or his team) disappoints me. I don't know if it's "the big head Emmy nomination" Syndrom.

I don't understand why he decides now to drop social networks and especially why his team agrees. Let me explain.

When he had problems with the Ellie story he stayed. When he took tons of insults about his trips during the covid and especially his relationship with Ale he stayed. But now that he has a rather calm and nice relationship with Annabelle he's leaving. Ok one will say to me that he protects his private life I can understand it is not the personal aspect which disappoints me but the professional aspect

He has always been in contact with his fans, always giving a little preview of projects, or a funny video of himself, promoting his current projects, or past (Bucky), his friends. He thanked the fans for the birthday messages.

And now nothing, he has so much to promote whether it's Sharper, Marvel, his current movie or the movie with Adam Pearson. He doesn't want to post anything personal ok, but he doesn't even post professional content anymore. If he doesn't want to do it anymore, surely there is someone on his team who can do it for him. Promoting is part of being an actor. (yes some never had IG and their career is going well, but they never did it they didn't stop when they move up a notch in their careers)

Since the Emmy nomination I feel like he or his management team has gotten a big head… his fans have become shit to him. In the sense that "I've gone up a level in my career I'm too good now". There is talk of a possible Golden Globe nomination and other awards. On the contrary, it's now that he has to be present (still professionally speaking), that he has to solidify his fan base (those are the ones who go to see the movies), to be present, that people talk about him. You need content and not total silence.

I really don't understand his team, he's going to lose some feathers and I'm not sure he's going to be able to get them back.

To be completely honest with you, I don’t get why you are disappointed. I don’t think he has changed idea about his fans/fandom (he realised some stuff in the past yes but he knows by now the problematic aspects of a fandom) so you shouldn’t take his decision to leave Instagram personally. Disappointment is an inappropriate feeling to me for this occasion.

Im sad about his decision and I think is understandable and normal feeling like that because we miss him.

His rs status is not the thing that made him quit sm imo, because if it was like that he would still post work related stuff or at least find someone that does that on his behalf.

I think he just doesn’t see the point in using sm anymore. He saw how people behave on that place (ie Adam’s case) and he also saw that he was spending a lot of time online and that people truly shares too much sometimes. He knows that luckily from 2022 he won’t need to promote smaaaaall indie projects for which one of his posts can change the views/popularity (all his upcoming projects already have a distributor so a major company will pay for the marketing campaign).

Tho i agree with you that he could still promote his projects on sm in any case. Just to maintain a bond with his fans and a presence online. It would be a good strategy but it is not essential.

Btw in my opinion he will comeback on sm for bucky next year. Idk if he will post for xmas and his birthday but it would be a great clue.

[writefightandflightclub]

Am I the asshole? (Nathan Bateman x fem!reader)

Summary: the gift you opt to give Nathan for Xmas has him wondering if he’s the asshole. Spoiler: duh.

Genre: light-hearted angst, eventually fluff.

Author’s note: based on the sub-Reddit(?) “am I the asshole”, where users post a scenario from their life and ask whether they are the asshole (but make it sorta Christmas).

(This took me an inexplicably long time, and for what?! 😂)

Also I made up the user names! I hope they’re not real!

Rating: 18+

for off-screen smut, smut mentions, and some light on-screen steam/smut.

Word count: no idea

Warnings: Nathan is an asshole; verbal meanness to reader; casual fucking with one idiot who catches feelings but goes about it all wrong; boss/subordinate relationship; alcohol; brief blow-job + cum mentions; p in v mentions; erections; dry-humping; kissing; steamy undershirt touching; implied oral sex (f receiving); Nathan says “holes” a lot, it is what it is; language; porn mention.

No man is an island.

Well…

Except maybe Nathan Bateman.

Nathan doesn’t need anyone.

He most certainly doesn’t need you. He likes to make that pretty clear, at least 3 times a day.

There are other, more sordid things he likes to do to you three times a day too -which is probably the only reason you tolerate his reliably consistent reminders that he wants you out of his hair.

Despite the obvious benefits of having you around -he certainly praises you profusely enough when he’s buried up inside you- Nathan seems to find an endless list of reasons to complain about your presence at other times throughout the day.

Your “mess” cluttering up his minimalist interiors (Come on, anything looks like clutter in this concrete house, you swear to god. Even just standing in a room is a statement.). Your “shit music” (Okay. Just because it’s not disco, and was actually recorded this millennium, it’s trash according to him). Your “incessant” talking (Really? Because you prevented him from hearing the sound of his own voice for one second during dinner?).

Suffice to say, Nathan couldn’t make it clearer that he only wants you around for sex and accounting.

“I only want you around for sex and accounting.”

Oh.

Okay…

That’s how it is?

“If I wanted you to interrupt my train of thought every five minutes I would have put it in the job description, sweetcheeks. Do you know how much my thoughts are worth? Is it really worth depriving the world of a fucking majestic development so I could hear you spout your trivial shit about… whatever.”

That one had made you cry. A lot. A stuttered, bubbling cry which had made Nathan actually seal off his lab with an emergency protocol override.

Asshole.

An asshole who’s dramatic as all hell too.

Whatever though.

It’s not as though you’re planning on anything serious with the dude. He’s such an ass that you don’t want him for anything besides a pay check and a (rather satisfying) bone either.

At least that’s what you tell yourself.

That’s why, as you begin to draw up your Christmas present list, trying to decide who’s been naughty or nice and pondering what to buy for the boss who already has everything (and would likely hate whatever you got him anyway), you land on the perfect idea for a gift for Nathan.

An idea you think he’ll truly appreciate.

You flip over to a fresh page in your note pad, and a giddy smile slowly inches over your face.

***

Nathan’s alarm sounds as usual, at the usual time.

He gets up, as usual, and plods to the bathroom. Then, to the punch bags out on the deck. Then to the weight room. The fridge. The shower. The coffee machine. His desk.

Everything is highly usual. Except one thing which is very unusual indeed.

Nathan scrunches his face up.

“Wait. Where the shit are you?” he asks under his breath, folding his arms and looking around the room as though he might just not have noticed you standing there.

Well… it has happened before.

But, this time, no sign of you.

His eyes hurriedly scan the monitors next, looking for you on the security cameras. It’s very unusual for you to oversleep. Almost unheard of - you like to bother him from the moment he wakes.

Still… Nothing.

So, Nathan tuts. And Nathan ignores the fact you are missing for as long as he can. That is, until his curiosity gets the better of him. Or, more accurately, until his cock twitches in his pants, a little needy without the usual morning relief you provide him.

He looks down towards his crotch and there is an echo of you. A memory of you on your knees by his desk chair, bobbing your head on him until your tongue is swiping hot seed from your teeth. He recalls the delicious, self-satisfied glint in your eyes. The way you invariably make some comment about “breakfast”, which he told you got old after two days - that had given you all the more reason to continue making it.

But today, you aren’t there.

And it’s…

-Nathan’s frown deepens-

… inconvenient.

Starting to get a little exasperated that the usual interface of his world is not operating exactly as he had so carefully programmed, he scratches his buzzed head and leans over into the intercom.

“You sick or just tardy, Princess?”

When Nathan still gets no response from you, to his surprise, he finds his heart rate spiking just a little, the unexpected dose of panic enough to have him surging up from his chair and padding towards your room, brow crumpled and face increasingly stern with something smack bang in the middle of concern and outright frustration.

You’d better not be sick because then I’ll get sick and-

When he gets there though, what he finds surprises him all over again.

The door is already ajar and your bed empty, the covers smoothed and tucked.

No sign of your existence; and Nathan wonders for a brief, rather hideous moment if you were ever real, or if the isolation has, in fact, finally got to him. It’s not outside the realms of possibility that he would’ve begun imagining a hot piece of ass like you, he supposes.

However, the crisp white envelope propped against the pillow puts that theory to bed, and that’s probably for the best.

Nathan hesitates before leaning over to scoop the envelope up, another dull pang of unease spiking in his chest - an altogether unfamiliar feeling which he can’t quite decipher. Despite this feeling, Nathan sets his jaw and rips the seam, revealing a couple of leaves of paper inside.

He pulls out the first, stiffer, coloured piece of paper, your writing scrawled on it in thick black marker.

“One gift certificate for time alone. Recipient: Mr. Nathaniel Bateman. From: Figure it out, ya bastard.”

The frown on his brow deepening, Nathan huffs out a gust of air then slips out the second leaf, unfurling it slowly, an involuntary swallow trailing down his throat as he reveals a wall of scrawled text in your hand.

He braces, mentally cycling through things that happened yesterday which might have pissed you off. Turns out, he can easily come up with a whole damn list. After all, he was there. That’s usually enough to provoke ire.

He shakes those thoughts away and quickly decides to refer to the evidence rather than speculation.

He begins reading.

“Nathan,

“Happy Christmas Eve Eve from your favourite only human.

“You may have put two and two together by now. Probably came looking for me right about the time your cock started to feel lonely? (Either that or it’s been a week and you have no idea I’m gone yet. Could go either way with you.).

I’ve gone home.

I wasn’t planning on it - kinda assumed I’d stay here through the holidays, but I had a moment of realisation. You never actually asked me to, and you never bothered to ask what I had planned to do either. So, given that you complain about me being here / breathing / existing at least three times per day-

“-Oh. Wait. I’m sorry… Am I going on too much? Should I talk about my tits to keep your attention? You know. In case my thoughts are too trivial for you.

“Wow. Still reading? Well, Nathan, if you keep going to the end, you might even hear about my asshole…”

Okay.

He’s not entirely proud of it but his cock obediently swells a little beneath his grey sweats.

“Anyway, given all the wishing you do that I’ll get out of your hair the tangle of your ego, I figured I would give you the best gift of all.

“Some alone time.

“Hurrah! Now you’re finally free of me like you wanted. You can wank on the couch again in the dark, or whatever it was you did which was so damn compelling before I came here.

“Enjoy the quiet, Nathan.

“Guess what? You deserve it.

“Merry fucking Christmas.

“Lots of loathe, Bunny x

“P.s. I told Santa you’ve been bad, so expect coal on Christmas morning. I know that you divested from fossil fuels, so if Santa comes down your chimney you can give him a piece of your mind. With a brain like yours there’s plenty to go around anyway.

“P.p.s Oh yeah! I did promise you could hear about my asshole, didn’t I?

“Well, guess what, Nathan?

“YOU’RE THE ASSHOLE.”

Nathan finishes reading and tuts indignantly, his jaw writhing, expression perturbed.

Then, already over it, he screws up the letter, tosses it in the trash can by your bed and…

Carries on as usual.

Except… increasingly, throughout the day -loathe as he is to admit it- Nathan begins to notice that usual now feels very unusual without you.

It’s… incredibly inconvenient.

***

You’re cosied up in your apartment, shovelling chips and dip into your mouth and shaking in laughter at some mindless tv show, a fleecy blanket nestled around you.

Your place, although only a few states over, is a million miles from Nathan’s home. Here, everything is warm and soft instead of cool and smooth. Everything is bright and chaotic and cluttered instead of minimalist and organised. The familiar blare of car horns and sirens from five floors down pervades the room, a welcome relief from the overwhelming quiet of his serene valley compound.

You could swear that you are more than content to be free of Nathan. From his grumpiness and moods and teasing…

And yet, a mere moment later you instinctively turn to your side, to where Nathan would usually be whenever you watch movies together, and the empty space makes you crave that bubble of solitude and routine you’d painstakingly developed alongside him, little by little.

Annoyed at yourself for missing the asshole of a man - who can actually be sweet sometimes, you rationalise - your attention zones away from the screen.

That’s lucky too, as it enables you to hear the soft footsteps and shuffling outside your door that you likely would’ve missed otherwise. Startled, and not expecting anyone, you hit mute on the remote and creep on tiptoe towards the spy hole in your door, brandishing a hastily scooped up fork as a weapon - for all the good it would do you.

In the dimly lit hallway, through the dusty lens, you can just about make out a bald, bearded figure - getting smaller, starting towards the stairs.

You gasp in a sharp breath.

No wait… it couldn’t possibly be…?

You crack the door, leaving the chain on, just in case he has a doppelgänger more prone to B&E, but you’re pretty sure you’d know that distinctive profile anywhere. “Nathan?”

He spins, running a hand guiltily over his buzzed head. “Fuck. Kinda hoped you wouldn’t see me.”

A dumbfounded expression finds your face, and yet despite your surprise you manage to release the chain and crack the door open a little wider. “Well,” you offer. “There are better ways to accomplish me not seeing you than flying to my city and knocking on the door of my apartment, Bateman.” You normally bite your tongue around him - maybe that’s part of the problem - but you’re no longer on the clock.

He doesn’t seem to object to your slight sass though. Perhaps you’re imagining it, but his lips even appear to tip up into a small smile at your gentle teasing, and it diffuses some of his grumpiness.

You study him carefully, still sceptical, honestly, that he’s actually Nathan. It’s simply so unlikely that he would come all the way out here to your apartment, that you find yourself looking for signs he’s sent an android replica of himself just to piss you off. It sounds far fetched but… honestly? With this guy? It’s worth giving every far fetched option due consideration.

However, you are quickly satisfied he is indeed himself when he looks up at you darkly from beneath his lenses, sending that familiar thrill zipping down to your core.

A robot could never.

(You hope.)

“Honey,” he clarifies. “I didn’t knock.”

You roll your eyes and dismiss his technicality. “Well?” you demand, folding your arms across your chest and jutting out a hip, trying to look as intimidating as your Christmas pudding PJs will allow. “Then what the hell are you doing here?”

Nathan’s eyes sweep over you then -in your adorable festive sleepwear- and you swear his rather infuriating smirk grows just a touch wider.

“Didn’t like your gift,” he says plainly, and you wait for him to go on.

Aaaand, he doesn’t.

He said it so casually, of course. Like all of this is normal - as though he’s even capable of such a thing. Like he was just talking to you five minutes ago in his kitchen and he’s simply continuing the conversation - despite having flown hundreds of miles to… not knock on your door.

“Rude,” you complain with a scowl. “Also, you could have just texted.”

He stands still and firm, his lips twitching in a smug display and now, it is your turn for your eyes to give him a subtle once over, sweeping up and down over his pleasing form.

Nathan is wearing a snuggly coat and scarf, and, so help you, he looks not only hot but also cute and cuddly.

However, whilst he may look soft - quite literally, all bundled up - he still retains that familiar, disgruntled edge about him. He huffs out air and pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, his raven beard animating as his jaw writhes with standard, low-level frustration.

You’re not surprised any longer. You always seem to have that effect on him.

Well, whatever.

You still don’t understand why he’s here, not even a fraction of that mystery solved, but that doesn’t matter to you so much. The chill from the hall is starting to curl around you, your show is running on, and you’re quickly losing patience. Unless he’s sick or experiencing a personal emergency or something, you’re damn well about to close your door.

“Is that all, then?” you ask abruptly, preparing to do just that if his response is insufficiently inspiring.

For a rare dumbfounded moment, Nathan has nothing more to say, and so, you motion to shut him out - quite literally. That is, until -in the nick of time- he says something drastically out of character.

“I missed you,” Nathan says with a chop of his open hand through the air and an obvious discomfort, his face contorting as though the words taste sour in his mouth. His eyes even flutter slowly shut as though he’s upset with himself for feeling -never mind expressing- the sentiment.

Oh?

Wow, okay.

Your eyebrows shoot up to the top of your head and you are far too taken aback to school your expression into anything else but shock. And, perhaps it’s not the response you should have to his unexpectedly earnest confession, but your secondary reaction is that you feel… smug as all hell.

This feels like the best comeuppance you could have wished for for Christmas. “I thought you wanted me gone, Nathan,” you sing-song, feeling suddenly giddy even from such minimal flattery. “Aren’t I insufferable and annoying and-“

“-Well. Yeah,” Nathan emphasises in a grouchy tone. “You are.”

Your shortlived bubble of satisfaction bursts, and your jaw drops open in indignation. The fucking audacity! “But, turns out,” his lips tip up into a lopsided smile. “I missed you annoying me.” He scratches the back of his neck, and for some reason, continues digging himself an even larger hole. “I missed your incessant, stupid questions and your mess and your god awful music. I missed you buzzing around me all day like a fucking caffeinated mosquito. And,” Nathan says, extending his pearly flash of teeth in a misplaced gesture - as though this is his idea of charming. “I missed your sweet little holes.” He wears a pained expression now. “Fuck, I miss those, Princess.”

Your expression, which had been gradually gathering gloom throughout his confession looks positively stormy now -a fact which Nathan appears oblivious to- and you grip the door edge, once again preparing to slam it closed. You’re fairly sure you’re annoyed at him; however, when you respond your voice is lacking the bite you intended. In fact, it sounds startlingly sad. “Nathan. Why the hell are you here? Really? Shit. Is there anything you actually like about me, beyond my convenience?”

Nathan’s eyes glisten as he searches yours, and for a moment -the briefest of moments- you think he might actually come through; but then, a devious spark engulfs his umber eyes. He opens his mouth to speak but quite frankly you’ve already had enough, and you can’t help but lose your temper just a little, your voice raising and echoing around the bare halls. “I swear to god if you mention my holes one more time-“

You stop abruptly, instantly folding your arms against your chest and looking sheepish. Nathan is confused as to why, until he realises that your neighbour - a sweet looking, elderly lady- has chosen that moment to emerge from the door opposite.

Your embarrassment is plain, and Nathan watches you visibly cringe, stifling his amusement beneath a palm raised to smooth his raven beard. “Good evening, Mrs. Nesbit,” you call weakly as you watch her cross from her door to the elevator, a shit-eating grin developing on Nathan’s face as he allows you to squirm.

You huff.

Oh, fuck this.

You’ve had enough of him already. Had already had enough. That’s why you flew in the opposite direction. And, if he can’t muster anything except back-handed compliments and talking about your “holes” then you are through.

In fact, this time, you do close the door in his face, but infuriatingly that doesn’t even stop him. He just continues talking through the paper thin wood, and it barely makes any difference at all. “So,” he calls. “What are you doing for the holidays?”

“Fuck off, Nathan,” you yell in the general direction of the spy hole.

You await his barbed response, or at least some kind of riposte, and, surprising you for another time today, there is nothing further from Nathan.

Trust him to find the most infuriating response possible at every juncture.

You wait a moment, and still, nothing. You saw your jaw back and forth and stamp your foot, and still there is nothing.

You sigh. He’s gone. You’re pretty sure.

Your anger cresting and subsiding as soon as you realise that, you dejectedly lean your forehead up against the door, suddenly wishing you hadn’t been quite so hasty or hostile (Well, he started it. At least… you think he did.).

You even go so far as to press your palm tenderly up against the smooth, cool wood. “I… I missed you as well, Nathan,” you admit in a low voice you know he can’t hear, followed by a self-pitying laugh. “Tragic as that is.”

***

For the next hour you feel entirely discombobulated. You simply can’t decide whether to be pissed off by Nathan’s unsolicited interruption, or regretful that you didn’t take your chance to pull him inside and make short work of those clothes. And, in less sordid thoughts, it would be kinda nice to watch Christmas movies together, even if he’d do nothing but grumble beside you.

Safe to say, you’re now in a slump, and none of your prior activities suddenly inspire quite the same joy they had earlier in the day.

You’re thankful when your wallowing is eventually interrupted by a soft rap at your door, and, startled again, you open it to find Mrs. Nesbit outside, back from her engagement earlier in the day. “Sorry dear - I didn’t want this to sit out in the hall all night.”

Mrs. Nesbit points down to the floor, and that’s when you notice a small manila envelope propped against the skirting outside your door, the name “Bunny” scrawled in Nathan’s distinctly spidery hand-writing.

You gasp when you see it, and stoop to pick it up, thanking your kind neighbour and distractedly waving her goodnight. You turn the envelope over in your hands, a crease developing in your brow as you wonder if, perhaps, Nathan really had meant to avoid seeing you after all.

Your heart drumming in your chest in anticipation, you slot yourself back into the cosy corner of your couch as you peel it open. Inside is a thick, folded hunk of paper, as well as another smaller envelope nestled behind that.

You exhale a huge breath and wonder briefly if you should trash the whole thing, before Nathan can infuriate you further with whatever is inside, but, of course, your curiosity inevitably gets the better of you. You unfurl the bundled leaves of paper, chalky beneath your fingers. It’s… print-outs?

Your eyes skim over the page and you realise that it is, in fact, a print-out of a whole Reddit thread, specifically the sub-Reddit; am I the asshole? The contributor for this particular thread appears to be none other than a user named “CodeDaddy100”, and you quickly gather that must be Nathan. You know, from the fact he is describing your very own life anonymously on the internet.

“Am I the asshole for fucking my live-in accountant three times per diem?”

Well. Firstly, congratulations to him for continuing to miss the point entirely.

It’s not the fucking that I ever took issue with, honey. That’s the one thing you have going for you.

You prickle - an angry heat slipping up your neck as he describes the scenario further - of course, in exceedingly blunt terms. The insight into his thought process is… illuminating to say the least, and not necessarily all that flattering to him.

You wonder what his play is here, and if he has done this to try to the pin blame on you, somehow, for whatever sleight he has concocted in that impossibly complex brain of his.

Your eyes scan the text.

Hmm.

Yes, in fact. It does seem that his initial position -unsurprisingly- is that he is infallible and you are in the wrong. However; as you keep reading, he elaborates more and more on the scenario - reluctantly, and in response to other users’ persistent prompts - and, shockingly, there is evidence that Nathan (eventually) begins to adjust his conclusions.

Opinion is mixed. This is the internet after all, and you can find just about any opinion going.

There are those defending Nathan’s actions religiously - he is simply being honest, and he never promised you more than sex and accounting anyway so how dare you get on his case; especially when he sounds like such a stellar fella.

Boy, are they bad judges of character.

There are others taking a hard-line against him and arguing the whole scenario has been fucked from the get-go, owing to the fact he’s your boss.

Yeah. Maybe they have a point.

There are those vehemently defending you, and emphasising that common decency is hardly too much to ask for. After all, you sound swell.

Agreed.

And, of course, there are those criticising you, and saying you should be better able to “take a joke”, or stating how you’ve never actually stepped up and asked him for more - do you expect him to be a mind reader? The first point is shitty, and the second… no, you’ve never asked for more, but why would you have?

All in all, it’s a mixed-bag, but the verdict definitely sways in your favour. After all, Nathan’s characteristic bluntness - even through this online format - is a bit of a dead giveaway that said bluntness likely translates to the real world too.

You’re less interested in that though.

You’re more interested in Nathan’s take. More interested in following Nathan’s conversation with one user in particular, called GoldMedalAesthete74. This one seems to have gotten under Nathan’s skin, for sure, and you devour the thread, wishing you had some damn popcorn.

GoldMedalAesthete74: “CodeDaddy100, you are undoubtedly an asshole. Whether you are the asshole is debatable, but I think you have bigger problems. I think, regardless of your asshole status, you are clearly an idiot.”

CodeDaddy100 replies: “the fuck for, shitstain?”

Nathan, everyone. Ever the charmer.

GoldMedalAsthete74: “Hello? You clearly have feelings for her, idiot. You may even have feelings for each other (if she doesn’t feel that way for you, I beg you, leave her the fuck alone). But if you do like her, how about this: try saying something NICE to her for once? Oh and stop hiding the fact you’re an emotionally constipated coward behind this pretentious drivel about your unwavering “honesty”. While you’re at it, stop using every technicality under the sun to disguise the fact you’re incapable of talking about feelings that don’t involve your schlong. Finally, while we’re on that, we all know it’s likely average at best and she’s definitely had better. Get over yourself, or she will. By the sounds of it, pretty fast too. Good luck, buddy.”

You actually gasp and laugh out loud at the takedown, your palm coming up to cover the shocked “o” of your mouth. Christ. You must remember to find this user and send them a large fruit basket. Maybe monthly.

Then, finally, the thread ends with Nathan’s reply, a full four hours later.

CodeDaddy100 says: “i dont like you. but i drank… some amount of vodka and hacked you.”

You cover your face with your spare palm, and peer at the page through your fingers, feeling second-hand embarrassment. “Jesus Christ, Nathan.”

“you look happy with your wife man. so. mayyyybe you know what youre talking about with all this fucking relationship shit. also I watched a bunch of footage back (don’t come at me, she knows about the fucking cameras) and then… well, i had a pathetic failed wank. but THEN i realised maybe i am a bit of an asshole. it’s pretty fucking obvious i do like her. so, thanks for the straight talk, bro.”

“Edit: get off my back about the fucking cameras.

“Edit: yeah, im gonna do something about it. what the fuck should i do?

“Edit: all your suggestions are bullshit. i’m embarrassed for you. she wouldn’t like that shit anyway.

“Edit: no obviously i won’t let you know what goes down.

“Edit: i can’t make any promises not to talk about her holes, no.

“Edit: those of you waiting for me to land on my ass? fuck you! sadistic bastards. For those of you who helped me, check your bank accounts. bad santa has been good to you.”

You exhale a breathy, low whistle from the circle of your lips.

Well, this is a lot to process.

You pause there to take a breath.

Nathan’s whole method is highly questionable, but he… likes you?

You are a little annoyed with yourself when the admission reliably makes your stomach flip. Annoyed that out of everything -this entire hot mess- that’s the one sentiment you have chosen to zone in on. Despite yourself, the revelation sends a pleasant, tingling warmth humming through your body.

Gathering yourself, you turn over the paper, expecting a continuation of the thread, but instead of printed type, you see Nathan’s chaotic, biro scrawl over the whole next page.

You begin reading.

“Bunny.”

Your heart is in your mouth right now.

“Yeap. I’m the asshole. And an idiot.

“Full disclosure, I’m also a little drunk and hopped up on disco bops and donuts. I also have my cock out of my pants because I tried to jerk off to footage of you but it felt kinda wrong and now I can’t get it up.

“One more warning - I’ve been called emotionally constipated by a lot of jerk-offs on the internet tonight. Well, I’m pretty sure I’m about to take a huge emotional shit all over the page, so proceed at your own risk.

“Bunny. Inexplicably, I like you. A fucking lot, actually.

“I know I have a fucked-up way of showing it. Can I retroactively tell you that anytime I spunked on you it was actually me trying to be romantic? ‘Cause then you’d have a lot to work with. Nah. I know. That’s thin. Scratch that.

“How am I doing so far?

“Bad, right? Well, if you think this letter’s bad you should see the earlier drafts.

“On second thought - no, you shouldn’t.

“Let’s face it though. I’m a dick. I’m not good at telling you things I like about you, besides the obvious (in fairness those sweet holes are the best I ever had, Princess. Fucking unreal.).

“I’m sorry about that. You deserve better.

“For the record, there are a shit ton of things I like about you. I just have trouble expunging warm sentiments from my mouth rather than my dick (or apparently, coming up with any metaphor lacking in references to genitalia).

“I can get better, I think.

“For you, I’m pretty sure I can pull my head out of my ass for long enough to be better.

“I pride myself on… well, lots of things. You know that. Also being honest. Sometimes it’s pretty brutal. I get that. Honestly though, now that I’ve had you around for longer than I thought I could tolerate, it’s pretty fucking shitty out here without you.

“So, Bunny?

“I never asked you - or if I did I never fucking listened. What are you doing for the holidays?

“I get it if you want some time away or, Christ. Maybe you’ve had enough of me altogether. Could have seen that coming.

“I’m hardly easy to be around.

“You’re so easy to be around you I had to fuck it up somehow, didn’t I?

“I got you a gift too. Spoiler: mine’s better. Not trying to buy my way out of this, I swear. I think you’ll like it.

Feel free to tell me to shove it up my ass. That’s your prerogative, and probably what I deserve for treating you like shit.

“Nathaniel “Asshole” Bateman; genius, but a little bit stupid for you. X

“Edit: Fuck. I’m rereading this sober and excuse me while I barf in my mouth. Fuck it though. I’m gonna schedule my plane before I regret this whole thing and fire you instead of actually dealing with my feelings. How do people do this? I feel sick.

“Edit: Yeah, that could be the hangover I guess.”

With a lump in your throat, and your eyes slightly misted over, you stare down at the paper in disbelief.

Okay, he’s crude as hell and hardly a poet, but Nathan’s words mean so much to you all the same. They mean that you weren’t imagining this. That you weren’t crazy for thinking that something deeper was brewing, beneath the abrasive comments and general fuckery of Nathan Bateman.

For a moment, you even let yourself indulge in some of your own feelings. The ones you’ve crushed down because you didn’t think you had a chance in hell of him ever reciprocating, or stepping up to treat you some kind of way.

You consider it. 

All considered, do you like him back? Do you want more from him than he’s been willing to give so far? Are you letting yourself in for a world of pain if you answer that question with a “yes”?

You nibble on your lip as you think it through, and you realise that, yeah, maybe you do want more with him. At least, maybe you’d like to give that a go.

Maybe… perhaps depending on how misjudged his second envelope is?

With your curiosity piqued even further, you slowly peel it open, your suspense building.

You honestly don’t know what to expect anymore. If nothing else you’ll say this about the man - Nathan reliably keeps you on your toes, unpredictable and singular as he is.

You pull out two strips of card which seem like tickets, and your eyes quickly skim over them to decipher the text. Two airline tickets… to… Florence? Dated… fucking hell. Tomorrow?

A surge of excitement and joy blooms in your chest and you can’t help but laugh, happy tears pooling in your eyes.

You don’t need a gesture this huge at all. Quite frankly it’s ridiculous, but it does move you. Not because the gift is a big gesture, no. Not because it’s showy or flashy or cost money. It’s because it makes you realise that Nathan actually listens to you. That he knows you, and that despite the pains he might go to to have you think otherwise, that he actually might be more invested in you than you realised.

You’d talked about wanting to see the famed Venus whilst on one of your numerous hikes with him from the compound - art and culture and travel one the many topics you found Nathan to be fluent and informed in, regularly enjoying his take when he deigned to offer it. You’d made an offhand comment, before the conversation he segued. And, despite his stern, non-plussed expression, you guess that, apparently, Nathan had actually been listening.

What’s more, he can’t have recorded that very particular conversation on the mountainside. This wasn’t something he could have gleaned from playing back his ethically questionable footage. However, when that thought crosses your mind, that’s when your bubble briefly pops. When you realise that’s something you even need to consider as a possibility. This is Nathan after all. Maybe -as low a bar as this is, that he listened to you- you’re still giving him too much credit.

Perhaps he simply hacked your browser history? Picked your most BlueBooked destination?

Shit, well. If he did that, you hope he didn’t also see the porn searches since returning home for the holidays. Yikes.

Or, fuck, maybe he doesn’t recollect a thing and he took a stab at one of the most popular destinations in the world.

Regardless, you scramble for your phone from the coffee table and you call him, needing to know one way or the other. You’re not certain how to feel right now, about any of this. You’re unsure that this gesture lets him off the hook either. Turning up here uninvited when you’d signified you might want space? And, maybe it’s a dick move - an attempt to overwhelm you with a grand gesture instead of doing the actual work.

Still, you can’t help but cling to the possibility that maybe it’s thoughtful. Maybe it’s sweet; or at least half-way there.

He picks up.

“Nathan?!”

He doesn’t even say anything. Not even hello - not for a moment. “You know, there are better ways to have me fuck off than calling me on my cell.”

Shit.

That was the last thing you’d yelled at him, after all. He sounds fittingly grouchy.

You swallow, a ball of nerves and butterflies in your belly.

“I’m sorry about that,” you concede.

He grunts. “Okay.”

“So… my family are all out of state for the holidays,” you respond quickly, tentatively. “And I didn’t make any plans.”

“Okay,” Nathan says plainly, with more than a hint of hope crept into his voice this time, his tone brightening.

“I have to know one thing though.”

“Okay.”

“Did you hack my Pinterest or something?”

“Your… fucking…? Fuck no. Why would I wanna see…” he sighs exasperatedly, and you can imagine that slow blink he does. That swipe of his opened palm through the air. “What do you mean? Did someone…?” He tuts loudly. “Have you even got virus protection on your machine? Do you need me to take a look at-”

You shake your head as he entirely fails to get it. “-Florence. You picked Florence, Nathan.”

There’s a beat as Nathan catches up. Reads between the lines. “Obviously. You mentioned wanting to go to see the Venus. Remember? Bucket list shit. We were crawling up the mountain and you wouldn’t stop blabbering about the Uffizi, mispronouncing stuff left right and centre.” You roll your eyes at his moaning, even if you are starting to realise it’s, at least in part, affectionate. You’re still getting used to the atypical ways he demonstrates his affection, though, and so it reliably causes you to bristle a little. That is, until he says a little more softly: “It was cute. That was… a good day.”

You exhale a soft breath, like a happy sigh, a relief; however, a part of you can’t help but remain sceptical. You carousel through your memories, trying to recall if you’d fucked him that day - if that’s the sole reason he has such good memories of it… but no. You hadn’t even. You had simply spent time together. Walked. Cooked. Ate. Actually talked, even if it had been a little terse, a little stunted, at times - on Nathan’s side.

What’s more, Nathan rarely touches you outside of sex - a strategy to give some semblance of boundaries, maybe, to illustrate you weren’t ever anything more than fuckbuddies - but, that night, he had casually pulled your head into his chest while you watched a documentary together. Had quietly smoothed his palm over your hair, your cheek, and down your arm, his chest rising and falling steadily beneath your cheek.

An ache swells in your middle. A feeling you can’t put into words.

That day was your favourite day with him so far. That day, out of all of them, was one that you clung on to. The day that you had most enjoyed his company. The most connected to him you’d felt. Despite other days harbouring more physically intimate entanglements, you felt like this intimacy was of a deeper kind. Like his walls fell just a little.

You’d also, after the fact, convinced yourself you had imagined it. That he was merely tolerating you - because the next day, his walls were up all over again; even more so than ever.

Now, you can’t put into words how good it feels to know you weren’t entirely imagining it - that it was a good day for him as well. Maybe as memorable for him as it was for you. Maybe a sign that there could be something more to this thing after all. Something more than sex and accounting. Maybe it’s even been obvious all along. He could have sent you back to HQ months ago, after all.

Who even has a live-in accountant anyway?

You rub a palm over your face, split equally between elation and caution. “I’m just so confused, Nathan.”

You stand, and begin pacing back and forth along the floor with the flutter of emotions driving you.

Now he wastes no time in biting back, even if you think you can detect a little smile in his voice this time. “Fucking hell. You know the Venus is in Florence right? I had to pull a lot of strings to get them to open the gallery up for us at such short notice, Princess, so if you’ve bungled your geography I-“

“-Yes, Nathan. I know where it is, dickhead. That’s not what I’m confused about.” He grunts impatiently for you to spit it out. “I’m… confused that you actually listened to me.”

“Why?”

Wow. He really is clueless, isn’t he? Maybe GoldMedalAesthete74 is right. Maybe he really is an idiot.

You sigh. This isn’t really a conversation you had planned to have, nevermind by telephone, but hey. You guess it’s happening. “Nathan. I don’t think you understand how much you ignore me, or how often you tell me you don’t want me around. You’re mean. And, shit, I left in a helicopter and you still managed not to notice. Now this?” You hear a strangled, exasperated sound on the other end of the line, and it crosses your mind he might hang-up, but you continue on anyway. This has to be said. “I just, I’m getting whiplash, and I’m struggling to understand where this is coming from. You like me? A trip to Florence, Nathan? I’ve just had no inkling this is what you wanted.”

“Shit, Princess. Neither did I,” he huffs out a gentle laugh. “But hey, I’ve realised I do.”

“Right!” You toss your spare palm up in the air. “Suddenly you do. You decide to flip the switch and that’s how it is now? Meanwhile… I… I don’t know what to feel.”

He falls silent on the line. “Okay,” he says again, but this time the word is sunken. “H-How do you feel? About me?”

And there it is.

Now it is your turn to fall silent. Your lips clamp closed and you sniff nervously, wrapping one arm around you for comfort, fingers digging in against your middle.

Fuck.

You like him. You really like him.

“Look. If it’s too much?” Nathan backpedals. “Fuck the trip. I don’t care. We can do that another time. Or, take your friend or your mom or whoever the fuck it is you’re always on the phone to. Just, tell me what I can do to make it better, and it’s done.” You puff out air as he shifts the burden back to you, ever so matter-of-factly. As he suggests that the months of uncertainty can be fixed by one single moment. One single act. Still, his tone is dejected when he suggests that you simply let this go. Without even trying. “Or… tell me you don’t want this and I’ll… you can transfer back to HQ. We can… figure something out.”

His voice sounds far smaller and more humble than you’ve ever heard it in that moment.

You feel some sympathy for him then. You feel like at least, he’s genuinely trying.

“I have to decide right now? All or nothing? Jesus, Nathan.” You smooth over the cracks in your voice, making sure your next words are level and clear. “Look, I… I think… I’m gonna take a raincheck on Florence. It’s sweet. I just… I think I need -maybe we both need- some alone time. Okay? Just for the holidays.”

You clutch your phone a little more tightly, tension roping through your body. You wonder how Nathan will react. If he will become petulant or volatile as a result of not getting his way as he’s so accustomed to. However; he clears his throat on the other end of the line, and his voice comes back small. “Okay.” God you wish he would stop saying that. “And… then what, Bunny?”

You nibble your lip. Then you finally concede. You can’t help it, when the nickname sounds so soft in his mouth all of a sudden. “Then… then we can try. See what this could be. Okay?”

“Mmm,” he hums in thin agreement. “Yeah. Okay.”

You slot yourself back into the corner of your couch, bundling yourself back into your blanket. You have been surprised by Nathan a lot today, and now, you are surprised yet again by his calm. The fact that he’s not pushing you. But you’re most surprised by the crumbling of your own resolve. By how quickly he’s managing to fell your walls with so little.

Oh, fuck it.

“Hey, Nathan?” A fond smile tugs at the corner of your mouth.

“Yeah?”

“I missed you too, you know.”

He is silent for a stretched out moment, and then: “You did?” You think he sounds pleased. Surprised. Happy.

And then, with a smile twitching your lips, you make the mistake of looking across to the empty space on your couch, where, you’re realising, there is practically a Nathan-shaped hole.

You nibble on your lip again, suddenly mulling something over. Your next idea is probably a godawful one -like, heinously bad- but hey. You ride a sudden wave of giddiness. “Oh. Fuck it. Do you… do you wanna slum it with me for Christmas?” When Nathan leaves another elongated pause, it crosses your mind that he might actually say no, and you hastily caveat and backpedal on your offer - a last ditch attempt to save face. “I mean… my apartment is tiny. And you’d have to tolerate me for a whole weekend without any of your distractions. And… there’s… Well, there’s only the one bed, so-“

“-Sounds peachy,” Nathan interjects, and you feel all warm and fuzzy as you hear the smile evident in his voice. “I’ll come straight over.”

Despite yourself, his acceptance causes a grin to split your face. Honestly, you never would have thought that spending the holidays with Nathan on purpose -instead of by default after becoming a near-permanent fixture in his compound- would make you feel so happy.

One thing’s for sure, with the giddiness bursting in your chest, you’re completely done for.

You like him a lot.

Fuck.

***

In a tizzy, you spend the next 15 minutes frantically gargling mouthwash, changing your panties, and dousing yourself in perfume. Hurriedly flinging your dirty laundry from the floor into the basket. Then, you spend another 15 clutching your faithful stuffed animal to your chest and pacing the floor all over again, this time awaiting Nathan’s arrival.

It is a half hour later when Nathan makes it back to you. This time, you buzz him in. This time, when you open the door, there is an aura of cold about him, the gentle scent of damp wool and frost, and melting snowflakes on his shoulders.

He pauses in front of your doorway as a shy smile inches across your face. “Hi.”

This time, his smug smirk is altogether gone, and he looks almost bashful too as he stands before you. “Hi, Bunny,” he says fondly, his voice rough like gritted sidewalks, but warm and thawing.

At that, you surge forward and welcome him into your arms, and he gathers you up and bundles you into his chest. The cold tip of his nose is buried in your cheek, his beard damp with cold shocks against your skin, but instantly there is heat.

Your lips find one another’s, his mouth slanting against yours in a crush, yet his tongue following; fleeting and slow and sweet. When his cold fingertips reach up and wrap around the back of your neck you squeal and shiver, causing him to shake with a deep laugh, but you quickly grasp his hands in yours, rubbing each of them in turn between your palms to warm them.

Nathan looks at you do this as though he can’t believe you are real all of a sudden, the ice in his cool, calculating eyes even thawing too, you think. Giving way to a gently suffusing heat. A glinting spark.

You sense that this spark could easily catch, and so, before it does, you take Nathan’s hand firmly in yours and drag him over to your terrible excuse for a tree with a giddy smile splitting your face - a little USB light-up affair which you hastily shoved up yesterday. There is just one present nestled next to it, and you nod down at the cube of a gift. “Since you didn’t like my first attempt at a gift, this was my plan b, Nate.”

His eyes dance around your apartment - all over the walls and shelves and everywhere, scanning like he’s trying to take every piece of data in. Data about you. Then, as his attention is directed to the parcel his face twitches, and you can tell he is so ready to hate it; you can’t help but laugh at his thoroughly gloomy expression in the face of such jazzy Christmas paper. However, after he has ticked his thick dark eyebrow up in scepticism, he tears open your shoddy wrapping and flips the lid of the box concealed inside.

Nathan pulls out a novelty Star Trek mug, a festive Spock meme emblazoned on the side, and a jaunty handle in the shape of a Vulcan ear. It’s dumb but when he sees it, the man actually snorts out a laugh, giving you a pearly flash of teeth, and his eyes creasing beneath his frames.

God. He’s such a fucking dork and you suddenly don’t know if you’ve ever seen anyone more adorable. You pledge to disarm his sternness more often, if this is the outcome.

“That’s cute, bunny,” he praises, his eyes glowing darkly and warmly from beneath his lenses. His lips careen into a lopsided smile. “Honestly? I like this gift much better than the last one.” You know he’s tell you if he hated it.

You mirror his smile, but yours fades to gentle shock as Nathan reaches his palm up to cup your face, his eyes as earnest as you have ever seen them. The intensity of him knocks you aback for a moment, especially when he gently sets the mug down and loops his arms around your middle, enclosing you in another hug, his broad hands smoothing over your back as your head nestles against his sturdy form. “Thank you,” he whispers into your hair, and somehow, it’s intense enough that you get the impression he’s thanking your for far more than the novelty gift.

When your surprise dissipates, you reciprocate and hold him tightly until he draws back, suddenly overly warm in the indoors and desperately unlooping the woollen scarf from around his neck. You help him slip it away, and in the meantime his lips find yours again for a slow deep kiss which knocks the breath out of you. Then, his damp jacket is being shuffled off his shoulders as you walk him backwards, gingerly dipping his sturdy body back on to your couch.

He sits on your stuffed animal and pulls the creature up from beneath his ass. “Okay. We gotta talk. Who’s this?” he deadpans, and with a gentle, bright laugh you climb on to his lap, straddling him where he sits, your thighs spread either side of him. You surge once again onto his lips, your laughter swallowed in the cave of his mouth as you awkwardly bump noses and glasses and teeth as you settle in position over him.

Nathan holds you there tenderly yet firm, his form practically melting into the couch as your kiss grows, his lips gradually thawing and his body heating against yours. Slowly but deliberately, his tongue works you up and up, his hands now beginning to wander, disappearing beneath your top as he seeks out your bare skin.

Suddenly the heat is everywhere, but it isn’t urgent. It’s a slow build, and you grind your heat down languidly on the burgeoning thickness beneath his pants. Nathan shudders from the sensation, a strangled throaty sound stuttering out from him. He pants roughly against your neck as he breaks for air, the scrape of beard trailing along the column of your throat in the wake of his lips and tongue. “Merry fucking Christmas, Bunny,” Nathan purrs as his hands -now clawing a little more insistently at your hips- pull you down on to him, grinding you along his clothed length, and you can feel the contours of him and the warmth of him pushing against you through the fabric.

You pull back from him for a moment, breaking for air as you snatch the oxygen from each other’s mouths. You look down at him beneath you, his heavy-lidded eyes still fluttered shut and his lips still slightly puckered in search of you, a barely audible groan falling from his mouth as you tilt and drag your hips, a jolt of pleasure zipping through your core. The sight of Nathan dumbstruck beneath you, his brown eyes awed and big and lust-blown as he tips his gaze up to you is a sight to behold.

You grin, smugly, and you emit a contented hum which bottoms out into a groan and finally lilts up into a whine as his hands work themselves beneath your pajamas, grabbing palmfuls of your ass. “Hnnng. Merry fucking Christmas, Nate,” you gush as he rocks you in his lap.

His mouth tips up into a lopsided smile. Not smug this time, just appreciative, and you shiver as one hand disappears up your top, his hand weighing your breast and his thumb and forefinger plucking at your sensitive nipple, an undone moan spooling from deep within your chest. “Now, Bunny,” Nathan says darkly, somehow holding it together. “Now that you’re in my lap, tell Santa if you’ve been naughty or nice.”

Your eyes spark with mischief and you smile devilishly against his kiss, your urgency growing and your lips devouring, breaths snatched from the space between you until Nathan pulls your hair and tips your head back, his beard scraping over your jaw as he lands a kiss to the point of your chin then works along your throat and collarbone, pulling your top aside.

It feels good. All of him feels good.

Everything.

He wants you. That much is obvious. But he is letting you set the pace. He isn’t pushing. And, somehow, you also get the sense he would be just as content if you curled into his side and watched some bad tv.

When your head tips back to him, Nathan quirks an eyebrow, letting you know he’s game to progress this further, but his hand rubs small circles against your back, somehow letting you know he’s not only here for one thing. That it’s up to you if you want to be naughty or nice right now, or, maybe a little of both at once if you’re feeling that.

You lick your lips and you nod, giving Nathan the signal he needs to know where this is leading. And, even as the sturdy mass of him strains beneath you, his hand on your cheek is tender.

The way he pulls you down on to his lips, slow and sweet, is the best present of all.

“You’re my favourite person, you know?” he says out of nowhere, voice hollowed-out, and it catches you entirely off guard. You rest your hands on his shoulders, and you look at him almost quizzically.

When words of affirmation are your love language you… probably shouldn’t hook-up with Nathan Bateman. Everyone knows his words can tend to be pretty brutal, at times. That he’s more likely to affirm himself than you, more often than not.

However; this? These words? And, on top of that, he looks up at you and his eyes are telling you so many things he’s never said before today. The way he caresses your skin too is speaking volumes.

“Because I’m your only person?” you ask timidly, still sceptical.

Nathan trails his palm gingerly over your cheek, your hair, a furrow appearing in his brow. “No. That’s wrong. You’re not my favourite because you’re my only person. You’re my only person because you’re my favourite. Okay?”

A feeling like excitement and nerves blooms in your chest, catching in your throat and making your voice tremble, especially as Nathan bucks his heat up into you and sends a dull throb through to your core. “R-really?”

“Honey,” Nathan deadpans, looking at you from beneath his frames and quirking one eyebrow. “Who the fuck has a live-in accountant? I think I always wanted you around.”

You laugh joyously into his kiss, feeling happy and giddy and full, and Nathan gently rolls you off of his lap, laying you flat on your back on the couch, your pajama bottoms being peeled off next, with your cooperation.

You whine as he drags a thick finger over the dampening seam of your panties, and, when he hears that noise fall from your lips, all of a sudden Nathan’s smugness is back.

This time though, you don’t entirely mind it.

“Well, you’re one of my favourites, Nathan, but I can think of an easy way you could swing it,” you tease good-naturedly, ticking your own eyebrow up in challenge and invitation.

His eyes glow with dark promise and a quick flash of teeth shows he follows your drift. Indeed, the next thing you feel is his beard rasping along your inner thigh, his tongue soothing the scratch, and his lips humming over your heat. Your hands form claws along the couch cushion as your hips buck in search of his mouth, and, as his lips settle over your clothed clit, enveloping you through the silken fabric, you really think this might be shaping up to be one of your best Christmases yet.

In fact, you’re really glad you left him alone, so that you could spend the day together.

[lilacyennefer]

Christmas Getaway

A/N: This piece was written between two xmas baking session and it wasn’t proofread but I wanted to share a little xmas love for y’all for the end of this year. So, Happy Holidays sweets! Thank you for supporting my writing through another year ♥️ it means the world to me! Any feedback is appreciated 🥰

WARNING: SMUT

You came back to Angel’s life at the best possible moment.

With his little brother still in prison, his father not really talking to him and the club being at the cartel’s mercy, he was emotionally exhausted even though he’d never admit it to anyone.

On a day when he was particularly on low point, you appeared at the clubhouse, making his heart stop for a second before it started thudding hard in his chest.

You were best friends since high school, you shared classes with Ezekiel, but you quickly found yourself constantly being at Angel’s side as the two of you clicked. Your friendship was fierce and it was based on thrust. Angel shared his everything with you, his fears, his hopes and dreams; and you did the same.

You always walked a fine line with the older brother, it was obvious that both you felt for each other, more than just simply being friends, but none of you dared to admit it for the sake of your friendship.

And then the radio silence came when you decided to go to Los Angeles where they accepted you to university. That was the biggest, and only one, fight during your friendship, and fairly the last one for a long time.

You left angrily that your best friend didn’t understand how important this was for you, and Angel was upset and hurt that you’d choose a university instead of staying with him. The Reyes brother, to forget about his pain, and you, buried himself in women, ignoring his love for you. It did help him that he was a prospect for the Mayans Motorcycle Club at that time, women loved the vest and danger, and the tall, handsome young man that Angel was.

During your time in the city of angels, you focused on your studies, and after graduating you got a job as a graphic designer for a big company.

Almost 10 years later, having an opportunity to work from anywhere as long as you do your job properly, you had the idea to move back to Santo Padre.

You could never really move on from Angel, you tried to contact him several times after you moved, but he fully ignored you, making you give up after a few months.

Felipe kept in touch with you for awhile, both him and Marisol always loved you and looked at you as family, so you were broken when she died, and you broke even more when Felipe asked you to not go to her funeral, to not upset Angel even more. You understood of course, but it deeply hurt you.

Years and years passed until the moment you visited Santo Padre again, looking for Angel.

When you found him at the clubhouse you felt like you could cry from years of frustration coming out, all you wanted to do was hug him.

But you didn’t.

It wasn’t easy at first, getting back to Angel, he was still hurt and upset especially because you didn’t show up to her mother’s funeral. When you told him Felipe asked you to not come, his frustration towards his father grew even more, not understanding why his father would sabotage his friendship even more.

Months passed, and you moved back to your hometown and started working on your friendship with Angel, only to realize like a month later that no matter the time and distance, soon it was like you never have left.

You certainly came back to Angel’s life at the best possible moment, bringing him peace when he was with you, making him more balanced and happier. You were the only one who he could count on no matter what, he could show his emotions around you without you making fun of him for doing so. He could be fully himself next to you, and this what really mattered to Angel.

It’s December, your favourite time of the year, Christmas time.

You already planned to celebrate it with Angel, but when you got the opportunity from your job to spend two weeks in a five star hotel in Aspen, you were sure that you’re going to drag the biker with you.

“Do I look like someone who belongs to a five star hotel?” was his first question.

“It doesn’t matter, Angel! We can spend two weeks together in a beautiful place with snow, amazing food, massage and all that!”

“I can give you a massage if that’s what you want.” Angel flirted, raising his eyebrows as he intensely looked at you.

You rolled your eyes, stepping away from him, but Angel was quicker, taking your hand in his to stop you from going away.

“Alright, sugar mama, spoil me.” He jokes “But you will tell Bishop this.”

You smile up at him happily, the sight making the biker’s heart flutter in his chest “Deal.” You shrug “Bishop likes me.”

“You just think he likes you. He doesn’t like anyone.”

El Presidente didn’t need much convincing, at least he could get rid of Angel’s annoying ass as he said it. But one thing that he said really made you think about your upcoming trip.

Bishop wasn’t a fool, no one in the MC was so they all could see the game that you and Angel were playing. It was more than obvious that both of you had feelings for each other, but none of you had the courage to do something about it. When Bishop told you maybe that’s what you both need to finally open up and be with each other you froze first, then it really made you think.

Angel and you were perfect together, in every possible way, fitted like not many people would, but the fear of ruining, again, what you have was big and you couldn’t ignore it.

But you tried to be ready, whatever this trip would bring.

Arriving in the snowy mountains of Colorado and taking your suite made you feel like even the universe signaling you to be together with Angel, because despite the suite being large, it only had one bed in it.

“Are you gonna sleep in the hot tub?” Angel teases, still being surprised that there’s a hot tub in the bathroom.

“No, you.”

“Querida, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m big. In every possible way.” Angel flirts, winking at you.

“Yeah, a big dumbass.” You roll your eyes, trying to stop yourself from smiling at him, he didn’t needed encouraging for his stupid comments.

“I’ll sleep on the couch, if you want.” Angel says, now more seriously.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” You look at him “It’s big enough so we can share. Besides, I’m not nervous about sharing a bed with you.” That was a lie. The fact that you’ll share a bed with Angel for two weeks makes you excited and nervous at the same time.

The first night was easy, both of you kept the distance and stayed at the edge of the bed, however as the nights passed you drifted closer and closer to each other until one morning you woke up to Angel’s heavy body pressing against your back, his morning erection laying heavily against your bottom making your heart rate rise. Angel is asleep, his peaceful breathing tells you that.

You start to squirm under his heavy presence, trying to move away a little from him, but Angel won’t let you. As he felt you move he pulled you back to him, closer than before, burying his face in the crook of your neck, sensually kissing the skin there. His lips were warm and soft while his beard tickled your skin at the same time, a sensation that you could get used to, hell, you couldn’t help but think how it’d feel elsewhere.

“Stop moving.” Angel groaned, his voice is heavy with sleep, making your insides clench.

You relaxed your body, giving yourself to the sensation of Angel; the smell of his body wash, his warm skin against yours and heavy tattooed arm keeping you close to himself.

With your eyes closed you let him surround all your senses, and your soul.

“I've wanted to hold you like this since we were teenagers.” Angel whispers “So many times I dreamed of this. What life would be like if you were mine.”

His.

You weren’t strange for this though either, it always made you fill with hope at first, imagining your future with your best friend, then it turned into fear when the thought of losing him suddenly interrupted your happiness.

“I’m afraid.” You confess into the morning air.

“What are you afraid of?” Angel rises a little, just enough so he can see your face from the side.

“Of losing you again.” Your eyes were still closed, but you could feel Angel’s stare on you, his dark brown eyes burning into your soul. “I want this. You. But I’ve always been terrified of losing you.”

Instead of verbally answering, Angel placed a soft kiss on your cheeks, trying to show all his emotions in one single gesture.

“You’ll never lose me again.” He whispered against your skin, his words causing a tear to roll down from your eyes to the pillow.

You turn your head against the biker, opening to look at him only to find Angel looking at you with so much love you could combust.

“Do you promise?”

“Only if you promise to be mine forever.” He smiles softly. “I mean it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

You chuckle a little “You think you can handle me for that long?”

“Wait until you see the brat tamer I am.” Angel jokes, making you chuckle.

“Is that so?” You raise your eyebrows, wiggling your body a little under Angel’s heavy one.

“What’s in your mind, querida?”

“Kiss me and you’ll find out.”

Angel smiled a little as he stared at you, his eyes drifted to your lips as you licked them. He mimicked the action as he crossed the distance between you, pressing his lips first gently against yours. The slow and sensual kiss quickly turned into a heated one, Angel’s velvet tongue easily slipping into your mouth, earning a moan from you.

As you kissed, your hands skimmed over his tattooed arms, one hand staying on his biceps, your nails leaving crescent moon shaped marks as the biker nibbled your lip, while your other hand made its way up to his raven black hair, tangling your fingers into his curls pulling them lightly, making Angel groan into your mouth as he pressed his now fully erected crotch against you.

His rough hand sneaked under your shirt, lovingly palming the flesh on your stomach and hips going further until it reached your breasts, massaging the mound in his hand pinching the nipple between his fingers.

You raise your hips rubbing your damp panties against his rock hard cock, the action makes the biker groan and rub himself harder against you.

“Take this off.” He mutters, tugging your shirt, his actions are desperate to have you naked.

Taking your shirt off and throwing it away somewhere gave Angel full access to your naked chest making him throb in his pants at the view.

“So fucking beautiful.” Angel praised you before he leaned down to take your hardened nipple into his mouth, sucking the bud delicately then running his tongue in circles around it. He kisses his way to your other tit, repeating the same actions. Angel kisses every inch of your skin that he can reach, his lips are warm and wet, his beard is scratchy making your skin tingling, the feeling excites you even more.

When Angel reaches your hips he looks into your eyes asking for silent permission to undress you completely. With a little nod you gave him the green light he needed badly, he pulled your pants and panties in one swift move, exposing you to him.

The Mayan licked his lips at the view in front of him, his heart beating so fast from the excitement and from his love for you. He was face to face with your arousal, your scent filling his nose, fogging his brain.

Angel locked his eyes with yours once again as he placed a gentle kiss on your wet lips, and when a sigh left you, with a smirk on his face he dipped his tongue into your foldes

“You taste so fucking good, querida. I can’t wait to taste you everyday for the rest of our lives.” He said in a husky voice, a voice that turned you on even more.

Angel started lapping your arousal like a starved man, his tongue is agile, touching you on places where it felt the best, making you squirm under his touch and moan his name over and over again like a prayer. The way he sucked your throbbing clit into his mouth caused your whole body to break out in goosebumps, the knot in your lower belly deliciously tightening under his touch until your whole body tensed while inside you were on fire from the force of your orgasm.

Angel enjoyed every second of being between your legs; starting from how your legs felt heavy on his shoulders, how you tasted on his tongue and your little moans and gasps that he memorized so he will know next time where to touch you to bring you the ultimate pleasure.

Angel pulled away to let you come off your high, placing soft kisses on your inner thighs as he watched your chest rise and fall rapidly. He kissed his way up to your face, slipping his tongue into your mouth as he kissed you, making you taste yourself on his lips.

Still kissing, you moved your hand down his chest and stomach until you reached his erected cock, taking him into your hand. Angel was big and heavy, his skin was warm and damp from his precum dripping down on himself. You circled his tip with your thumb, running your fingers over his veins, teasing the biker with every gentle touch of yours.

“I need you!” You breathed against Angel’s neck, his long silver necklace falling on your skin, the cold metal laying on your hot skin.

“Hold on.” Angel muttered, ready to get up to grab come condoms from his bag when you stopped him.

“Forget that shit, I want to feel you. Only you.”

Angel twitched from the thought of entering you bare for the first time.

“Shit, mi dulce. Let’s not keep you waiting then.” The Reyes man took himself in his hand, he touched his forehead with yours, eyes deeply locked with each other as he slowly pushed himself into you. He was aware that he was way above average, and even though you were soaked he didn’t want to hurt you, so he went slow.

Angel stretched you out to your limits, he was the biggest you’ve ever been with, it hurt a little but it was exciting and it added to the pleasure.

“Fuck, baby.” Angel groaned when filled you to your limits “You feel so fucking good.”

“Please move.” You whisper impatiently.

Angel chuckled, but he started moving slowly, rocking his hips against yours.

You threw your head back with a loud moan as you moved in sync, creating your own world with each thrust and moan, whimper and whisper. You became one with Angel, finally, after so many years of yearning for each other.

You always loved Christmas, but after getting together with Angel finally, it definitely became your favourite part of the year.

Taglist: @gemini0410 @rosieposie0624 @blessedboo @yourwonkywriter @chibsytelford @mayans-sauce @mrsmarvelous1995 @phoenixhalliwell @rocketqueen @witching-hour @starrynite7114 @bellisperennis0 @noladyme @justazzi (comment or send an ask if you want to be added)

[fagh0ul]

A Papa-fied Christmas Dinner

To celebrate Xmas, I wrote up a scene where all the Papas were alive and sharing a Christmas Dinner together. During that dinner, Papa 2 and Papa 3 get into a heated debate about a certain Witch and her Sister-Or-Not

this is my first time posting something I've written on here, I'm sorry if there are any typos it's 4:30 am

At the strike of midnight, the Churches main hall came alive with music and light, the sounds of happy voices wafted through the walls to reach every room in the church. Tables lined the room filled with all kinds of festive foods for everyone, humans and ghouls.

Some of the Firsts personal ghouls were in charge of the music; without mouths that could be easily accessed, they were given several different tasks throughout the dinner to keep them busy. The ghouls that weren't playing music were running around refilling drinks and serving wine.

They still wore their usual robes, but they were now trimmed with blood red silk to celebrate the holidays and offer some highlight who they were summoned by to the humans attending the party.

The Second's ghouls were surprisingly missing. A rumor ran around that Secondo had locked them in one of the many basements—something Secondo was rumored to do often—when in reality the Pope simply didn't tell them anything was happening because he was tired of them following him around.

The ghouls that belonged to The Third were definitely there. Their deep laughs reverberated off the decorated walls and if it weren't for their masks acting as a muffle, their combined voices would have been much louder.

Terzo had given them all their own ugly sweater, a gift he thought was hilarious but the ghouls did not share the same enthusiasm. He has bought each of them their own one so every single ghoul would feel like a part of a family. Although he did get poor Mist's sizing wrong and she is currently swimming in her sweater.

Copia treated each of his ghouls individually, he made sure they all got a personal gift along with a matching sweater—Which Terzo jokingly scolded Copia for stealing his idea.

Rain was given hand warmers to help his fingers from cramping, Mountain was given a new pair of noise-cancelling headphones (Dew broke his last pair), and Cirrus was given a neck-pillow so she could sleep when they were driving or flying to their next gig.

Cumulus was given new earrings as her old ones kept breaking or getting lost, Aether was given a new tea set, Swiss was given an casset player because he kept stealing Copias. And Dew... Dew was given a mug that said "Aether's Tumor" which he smashed on the ground and jumped for Copias throat.

All of the ghouls were talking and laughing at random dinner tables, they used the party to catch up with old ghoul and human friends.

The Papa's, however, were sitting at the head table having a very serious discussion.

"It's not fair, you're wrong!" The youngest brother cried out and slamming his hands on the table, causing his fine china plate to bounce on the black tablecloth.

"Its not supposed to be, fucking bastard." his older brother snapped, a vein making an entrance on his forehead. Secondo looked between his two brothers, "Tell him I'm right,"

The eldest simply looked up from his cup of tea and glanced at his younger siblings, sighing deeply.

"Terzo is right,"

"FUCK YOU!!!" Terzo screamed with a smile, flipping Secondo off with both hands as he laughed. "How many times did I tell you, Sec. Theyre sisters!!!"

"Both of you are fucked in the head!" Secondo barked before jabbing a finger at Terzo "If they are sisters then why is one green?" He argued.

"I just fucking told you! Her mother drank some weird elixir shit that turned her green, did you not watch Wicked?"

"Its an excellent book, I remember reading it when I was a school boy." Primo said to no one in particular, he sipped his tea and watched his younger brothers usual stoic face contort with disgust.

"What kind of fucking question is that? Of course I did not watch that fucking Broadway shit show."

Terzo put a hand on his chest, his jaw open and eyes wide is disbelief. He turned to Copia, who sat next to Secondo, much to the elders dismay, and pointed a finger at his brother.

"Did you just hear the words this cunt," he shot a glance at his father who was in too deep on a conversation with a kitchen ghoul to hear, "said?"

Copia swallowed thickly, fear flashing across his face. Secondo looked at him, his eyes narrowed into a menacing glare that sent Copais bravest rats scurrying back to their owner. The fourth Pope shook his head, an apologetic smile pulled his lips.

"Uh, I wasn't paying attention, I'm sorry."

Secondo finally pulled his gaze away from the rat bastard sitting next to him to cock an eyebrow at Terzo. The youngest brother met Secondo's stare and barely got the tip of his tongue out of his mouth — Secondo's hand wrapped around the clean steak knife next to his plate — before pulling it back in.

"Well," Terzo started, "I watched the production and they are sisters. It was a wonderful play as well, the actresses sang beautifully and oh you stopped listening to me haven't you. I could be talking about how one of the Brothers has the tightest ass in the clergy and you wouldnt care."

Secondo had his jaw in his hand, his fingers all curled in except for the middle one that rested against his cheekbone. He sighed heavily through his nose and turned his head slightly to the left so his hand was facing his younger brother.

Copia held back a smile. For someone as authoritative as Secondo, he could be pettier than the most spoiled ghoul.

Nihil looked at his middle son and cleared his throat, sending him a glare. Secondo made show of rolling his eyes before tucking the fingers in with the others. Terzo smiled brightly, shining in the sinister glare his older brother was sending him.

[if-music-be-the-food-of-love]

It’s sad to see the line at the end of ep3 where Robbe says ‘maybe you should meet some new friends’ in response to Sander saying he’s worried about never meeting someone because.... Sander really didn’t have any friends. I know he was very isolated when he was with Britt but in s5 he didn’t have a balloon squad. We never see any friends outside of Robbe and his friends on his insta. Even in the academy clip he was talking to class still life model instead of another classmate 😔 I wish we had seen him have someone

I’ve never had an ask like this. Eeeee!!!

This makes me sad 🥺 bc you’re so right. Whether it was intentional to make him a lone wolf like that, or it was a side effect of the pandemic, writing, etc, it was definitely a lost opportunity. I would have loved a connection to the Balloon squad, but more than anything it would have been nice to see him connect with anyone. We had a reference to Adi, and we hc’d him as a friend. But a name isn’t much to go on, and he was never mentioned again. We never even got to really see him interact with the Broerrrs (the xmas party and the birthday video call—that’s it). He was always with Robbe at parties and during group shots. I think we latched onto the insta banter between him and Senne bc we wanted them to be friends so badly. Ugh, just thought of this. Even before Robbe met him at the beach, he was always alone. Other Evens interacted with and laughed with friends, but not Sander. Sander watched him alone, and even when he was with Britt, he seemed lonely, like he wasn’t really connected with anyone, putting on a show for them.

If it was intentional, then that’s a very lonely existence for Sander, and it would explain his reaction to Robbe’s (however brief) rejection and how he turns it on himself as him being toxic. He hasn’t had anyone before, why should he be allowed to have Robbe, a best friend and lover? Even so, it seems cruel.

I would wonder if making him friendless wasn’t necessarily intentional. It just wasn’t needed for the plot. If they never planned to have a balloon squad connection (and of course we have no idea what they originally intended), then they wouldn’t need to set the groundwork for Sander’s previous relationships and friendships. They’re unnecessary and thus not included.

Intentional or not, we at least don’t see him having any relationships outside of Robbe, and for me that’s tragic bc as wonderful as romantic relationships are, friendship—knowing people love you just for who you are—is such an important part of life. Robbe IS his best friend, and I LOVE that. But I also think it is important to have other outlets. Granted, we do see that he has some kind of relationship with Yasmina in season 5 bc he’s near the top of her call (? I forgot) list, and they hug like they’re friends. Maybe he was adopted by Robbe’s friends and has been super close with them all year. We just never saw it on screen. Again—that boggles my mind bc you’d think there would have been ample opportunities to throw him into the background of scenes. No lines. No subplot. Just existence so that we can see how he’s doing, who he’s hanging out with. Little things like that in season 4 and 5 would have given depth to his character without any additional work.

But on a different note, not everyone needs/wants lots of friends, and we all need different types and levels of human interaction. It could also be that Sander is the type to have one person. His person just happens to be his best friend and lover. I kind of explore that in my current WIP, and there’s even a moment where Robbe is happy that he found another close friend.

I head canon Sander as a confident introvert. My SO is one—has lots of acquaintances, is great in social situations, but doesn’t have close friends (aside from me). I’m the opposite, an extrovert with massive social anxiety (oh the irony). If Sander is like that, he enjoys social interaction but doesn’t need more than that bc he’s happy to have Robbe and be able to recharge in his own time in a safe place. Who knows. I’d rather think of it this way than imagine him friendless.

Thanks for your ask. This was fun, and I enjoyed thinking about it. I’m always happy to talk about the show. 💕

[asmo-ds]

(1) i tried to think of a belphie one so here it is, sorry if it kinda bad👉🏻👈🏻 mc has been begging belphie to go to the human realm for xmas tgt but he isn't very sure about it since he did try to kill mc. since mc knows how much he used to love the human realm and humans he probably also loved xmas, they thought he would be excited to go.

How to Love Christmas Again

Belphegor x gn!MC

Word Count: 4295

Genre: Fluff

Summary: As the holiday season rolls around, MC requests to go back home and spend Christmas at their apartment in the human world. Diavolo agrees on the condition they bring a brother to protect them since they have pact marks yet no knowledge of how to use them. Who better to bring then their sleepy boyfriend, Belphegor, even if it means they have to avoid all other humans the whole week!

“Oh right, I almost forgot that was today,” A young Belphegor reaches under his bed to pull out the gift boxes Lucifer had helped him wrap for his twin and the young girl. Beel runs to his own bed bringing out his own gifts for his siblings.

“Did you wrap these yourself, Lilith?” Beel giggles as he observes the horror show of wrapping paper around his gift from her.

“Did you wrap these yourself, Lilith?” Beel giggles as he observes the horror show of wrapping paper around his gift from her.

“Did you wrap these yourself, Lilith?” Beel giggles as he observes the horror show of wrapping paper around his gift from her.

“Did you wrap these yourself, Lilith?” Beel giggles as he observes the horror show of wrapping paper around his gift from her.

“Well… I tried to but had trouble, so I asked Mammon and Leviathan for help - but then Leviathan got wrapped up in tape and it just turned into a mess,” she giggles with a blinding smile. “Anyways open your gifts!”

Belphegor watches as Beel unwraps the gift from their baby sister, revealing a box of freshly baked cookies she had made that morning. Beelzebub gave her a hug thanking her before he moved to watch Belphegor open his gift from Lilith.

He unwrapped the gift and saw a soft pillow covered in the pattern sported by cows. He smiles wide and wraps his arms around her in a tight embrace. 

“I sewed it myself, I hope it is soft enough,” she smiles at him. 

After they opened their gifts from Beel, a new blanket for Belphegor, and a new dress for Lilith, they moved on to Belphegor’s gifts.

“Don’t call me cheesy, okay?” He blushes as they pull out the shiny golden necklaces. Beelzebub held a necklace with a charm shaped like a sun and Lilith’s sporting a star. Belphie reached down his shirt and pulled out the necklace he had gotten for himself, a moon-shaped charm resting on the chain. 

“Belphie these are beautiful!” Lilith exclaims as Belphegor puts it around her neck.

“Think of these as a promise. A promise that we’ll always protect each other.”

The three sat in the circle agreeing and swearing to protect each other no matter the cost.

The Celestial war was the last time he saw those stars. He watched as the necklace flew off of her chest, blood splatter landing on it as the arrow penetrated her wing. He watched as the chain snapped from the force of Lilith’s body flying backward. He watched as he broke his promise to protect her-

-

Belphie sat straight up, breathing heavily as he woke up from the flashback. He stared straight ahead as he tried to refocus his breathing. Despite the darkness of the attic - he could see the outline of a person next to him. He glanced down at MC as he turned on a lamp. He grabbed their face and checked their pulse, letting out a sigh of relief as they stirred, blinking away the sleep from their tired eyes. 

“Belphie? You ok?” MC reaches up to wipe a tear he hadn’t even realized fell from his violet eyes.

He couldn’t respond, his mouth open as nothing but a choked sob came out. MC sat up and pulled him against their chest, rubbing his back soothingly.

“Another nightmare?” they ask, receiving a shaky nod in return. Belphegor looks at the digital clock that rested beside his bed and reads the numbers.

It was 2:03 AM on December 20th.

-

The next morning, MC and Belphie arrived at breakfast. “MC, the human world holiday season has arrived, Diavolo wants you to be prepared to talk to him this morning about how we can incorporate these human world festivities into our home to make you more comfortable during your stay,” Lucifer announces as MC helps him clean the dishes. 

“Actually… I was wondering if perhaps I could go home. Just for a week or so to see family and be in my own home. Christmas is special for me and I don’t really want to spend it in Hell.” 

Lucifer looks surprised at their request and opens his mouth, most likely to protest the idea saying it would be a hazard to send MC out to the human world, but he is interrupted by another voice, one belonging to the demon prince himself.

“Of course you can go home for the holidays! Though it may be riskier for you seeing as you now have pacts with all seven demon brothers yet have no idea how to use them. So I will allow you to go home but you will have to take a brother with you,” Diavolo states, causing Lucifer to turn around in surprise.

“I will go with them Diavolo I am the only one who can be trusted-”

“No Lucifer, this is a special holiday and I want you to allow MC to choose for themselves for once.”

MC’s mind immediately goes to Belphie. They thank Diavolo with a big hug due to their excitement and run up towards the attic in search of their sleepy boyfriend. 

“Belphie! Belphie!” They jump on the pile of blankets that hid his body beneath them.

“What?” He groans.

“Diavolo said I could go home for a week to celebrate Christmas!” They exclaim and he gives them a half-assed smile.

“Cool. Have fun,” He turns over intending to go back to sleep and not wake up until after the season has passed.

“He said I have to take a brother with me though, so I figured, you used to love the human world so why don’t you join me?” They smile sweetly at him.

He tenses and looks at the ground, avoiding their pleading eyes. “I can’t.”

“But why?!” They whine.

“Because… because I don’t want anybody to get hurt.” He turns to look at MC and they see the fear in his eyes, “what if I get angry again? What if I kill an innocent human while we’re there. MC I can’t go, I don’t want to hurt anybody-”

“Well then we’ll just have to stay inside, no big deal,” they shrug as if they hadn’t a care in the world. “I’ll go food shopping the first day so that we can eat, then we’ll hide out in my apartment all week watching Christmas movies and drinking hot cocoa and all that jazz.”

Belphegor looks at them with hope in his eyes as he contemplates whether or not to join them on their journey. 

“You pinky promise we won’t leave the apartment?” He looks at them with a very serious look, and they lean forward, lightly bonking their forehead against his. 

“I swear on my soul.” They state before leaning their head down to kiss him softly.

-

As they prepared to depart for their trip, Lucifer would not stop nagging Belphegor like a mom sending their kid off to summer camp.

“Don’t talk to any humans you don’t know, do you have mittens?! You can’t go without mittens, Belphegor, demons aren’t built for the cold you have to bundle up or else you’ll-” he is interrupted by Belphegor loudly saying his goodbye as he and MC stepped through the portal, landing in front of the apartment building where MC resided. The portal closed behind them and MC grabbed his hand, leading him into their apartment carrying his luggage.

“MC! Long time no see!” the security guard at the front desk smiles widely at them, “you on break from your exchange program in Sweden- or wherever it was you went- for the holidays?” He stands up and walks around the desk to talk more casually to the human.

“George! Yes I’m back, and this is my boyfriend, Belphie, I met him in the exchange program,” MC wraps themselves around Belphegor’s arm as he looks down shyly, afraid to look at any human other than MC.

“Nice to meet ya, Belphie. I’m George, you’ll probably see me a lot since I'm the head of security in this building,” the man reaches his hand out to shake Belphegor’s. Belphie nervously looks at MC who takes the hint and pipes up.

“Sorry about him! He’s Swedish, so he doesn’t really understand, plus he’s a germaphobe so he doesn’t shake hands,” they smile apologetically at the security guard who lowers his hand and gives a nod. 

“Tell him I said to enjoy his stay,” George says before walking off.

“Hey Belphie, George says to-”

“Yea I heard him, stupid,” he pokes MC’s cheek before they lead him to the elevator.

As MC reaches their front door and turns the keys they can see Belphie fidget, clearly nervous that they have yet to enter the privacy of MC’s home. 

MC uses one hand to push the door open and the other to rub their thumb soothingly over the demon’s knuckles. As soon as they shut the door it feels as if a thousand pounds had been lifted from his shoulders and he lets out a sigh.

“Ok, now that we’re here… do you want a tour?” MC chuckles, grabbing their boyfriend’s hand once more, leading him through the apartment and announcing the rooms as if they were a safari guide.

“Over here you see the bedroom. The natural habitat of an MC. The MC sleeps in this room and nearly never leaves it. This room is where things such as the mating season take place,” MC wiggles their eyebrows suggestively before giving an exaggerated wink, causing Belphegor to snort from how hard he was laughing.

“Your home is very cute, MC,” he compliments.

After picking up their room a bit and placing Belphie’s luggage in the bedroom, MC decides to set up their bed as a nest for them to cuddle in. Belphie and MC lay in the makeshift nest watching horribly hallmark Christmas movies and making fun of their plots before they eventually fall asleep, ending their first day in the human realm.

-

“Hey, be careful you three!” The white haired angel yells at three teens who run through a town decorated for Christmas.

“Woah! Belphie look!” Lilith grabs his shoulder and they look over to see a giant tree, all lit up (i know light bulbs probably didn’t exist in the era before Lilith died BUT we’re gonna pretend it do :D ) and covered in ornaments. 

“Oh, I think they’re gonna put the star on top now,” he, Lilith and Beel all push their way to the front of the crowd, ignoring Mammon calling for them to stay close to him.

“It’s so pretty!” Belphie looks at the young woman and his twin, smiling softly as they stare in awe at the shimmer lights as snow falls all around them in small soft flakes they melt on their skin. 

“I wish Lucifer, Asmo, and Leviathan weren’t so busy today-” Lilith frowns. “I know they really just didn’t want to come stand in the cold but… I really think if we could’ve convinced them to come they would have loved this.” Lilith smiles gently and looks back up at the twinkling lights of the star atop the giant pine tree before them, “I hope one day we can all see these lights together.”

“I doubt you’ll be able to get those guys down ‘ere, but ya guys got me!” Mammon catches up to them and smiles.

“Hey Mammon! Can we take a tree from the human world and decorate it at home?!” Lilith asks with a wide smile.

“Well it's a bit late this year, but next Christmas I pinky promise,” He raised his pinky towards her and they locked pinkies, bringing smiles to their faces.

But next Christmas never arrived for Lilith. It was on this trip that she met the human man who she fell for. It was mere months later that he fell ill and they were all cast down from the heavens. Bringing the death of Lilith and the birth of Satan.

-

Belphie slowly blinked as he winced away from the bright sunlight he wasn’t used to. He raised his nose to the air and smelled something good, so he stood and followed the scent to the kitchen. There he found MC in their pajamas, holding a pan with eggs over a plate that already had bacon and toast on it.

“Belphie!” They place down the pan and run to him, jumping onto him as he catches their thighs, wrapping themself around him as he holds them up, tightly embracing their small form and swinging back and forth playfully.

“Someone seems hyper this morning,” he lets go of MC and they climb down with a laugh.

 “I know you were nervous about coming here so I wanted to thank you for joining me with breakfast in bed… so go back to bed and let me surprise you!” Belphie rolls his eyes and climbs back into the bed, moments later MC enters holding the plate he had previously seen them preparing. “Tada! A traditional human world breakfast!”

They eat their breakfast and watch the news, Belphie accidentally laughing at some tragic events due to his demonic nature.

They spend some time decorating with some supplies MC had hidden away in the deepest depths of their closet. They hang a wreath on the inside of the front door and MC pulls out a fake mistletoe, hanging it on a ceiling lamp Belphie was underneath as he strung some lights around the room.

“What’s that thing?” He tilts his head upwards to look at it more closely.

“It’s a human world tradition, wanna try it out?” MC asks innocently.

“Sure why not, what do I have to do-” he’s interrupted by MC pulling his face down to his for a sweet kiss.

“It’s mistletoe, if you and someone else stand under it you have to kiss!” Belphie smiles and gives them one more kiss before looking back down into the box of decorations and spotting a star.

“Oh, this goes on top of the tree, right?” he asks and MC gives a small smile. 

“Yea but I don’t know if I’m going to be able to get a tree up here by myself, so we might have to skip that part-”

“We have to have a tree! That's the best part!” Belphie suddenly bursts out, immediately blushing embarrassed by his sudden enthusiasm. “Lilith used to love the trees.”

“Oh, then I’m sure we can find a way!” MC suddenly whips out their D.D.D, pressing a few buttons before raising it to their ear. “Hey Diavolo! I need a favor-”

-

“Here you two are, have fun decorating,” Diavolo says as they finish screwing a tree he and Lucifer had hauled up to MC’s apartment.

“Honestly, I don’t think you should have called us for this,” Lucifer shakes his head with annoyance.

“Yea you shouldn’t have come to the human world for a Christmas tree, you never could do it for Lilith when she begged-” Belphie scoffs, making Lucifer shoot a glare his way.

“Lucifer and Belphie please behave yourselves, you are representing the Devildom here in MC’s apartment,” Diavolo places a hand on Lucifer’s shoulder.

(from here to the dash mark is a tiny itty bitty bit of Dialuci fluff as a small little bonus)

The three men suddenly hear some snickering as MC looks above Diavolo and Lucifer, causing everyone else to look up in return. They all looked up at the mistletoe that hung above them and MC and Belphie looked at each other with mischief in their eyes.

“Oh yea, Lord Diavolo MC taught me a fun human world tradition, would you two like to give it a try,” Belphie gives an evil smirk.

“Of course, Lucifer you join too!”

As Belphegor explained the tradition Lucifer grew extremely flustered and tried to argue his way out of it, losing in the end as the demon prince was too enthusiastic to participate in human culture and kissed him on the lips with little to no hesitation.

The men left, one beaming with excitement and the other sulking but blushing.

-

MC wrapped the lights around the tree, occasionally tripping over the long tangled wire. Belphie grabbed some tinsel, tossing it around the tree as MC finished the lights.

MC pulled out the normal ornaments first, handing some to Belphie to hang alongside them.

Then they got to the ones with meaning behind them.

“Baby’s first Christmas?” Belphie reads off the ornament shaped like a cradle.

“Oh yea, that’s from my first Christmas! It has my birthstone in there as well, see!”

As they dig through the ornaments and MC tells stories behind them all he can’t help but smile as he gets to know his lover deeper than he had before.

After hours of this, they finish and star at the star that had yet to be placed on top of the tree.

“Do you want put it on, Belphie?” MC smiles up at him.

“Me? Are you sure?”

“Of course this is your first time decorating for Christmas you said so you should get the full experience!” MC hands him the star and he looks at it, a bit nervous before feeling MC’s lips on his cheek, a silent cheer of encouragement.

He climbs the step ladder MC had placed next to the tree and places the star on, plugging it into the wall as it lit up with white lights.

MC runs to turn off the lights so they can see the Christmas light better and Belphie takes a step back, a big smile on his normally sleepy face.

They stand and stare at the tree happily for a few moments before MC excuses themselves to go make dinner. Belphie lays down on the bed and decides to take a power nap while MC cooks. 

-

“Ah, I’m so sorry sir!” Lilith exclaimed as she accidentally bumped into the shoulder of a young man. 

“No worries, having a lady as breath-taking as yourself bump into me must be my Christmas gift,” the man compliments the Angel before introducing himself.

“Lilith!” Belphegor calls after having searched for them for half an hour, he finally spotted them blushing as they chatted with a human man. Her three brothers watched from afar to ensure her safety, but allowed them to hang out together for a few more minutes.

“Lilith, we need to head back home now,” Mammon interrupted the pair, bringing a frown to his baby sister’s face. He walks away to let them say their goodbyes.

“Oh, uh, sir, I would love to see you again sometime, could we perhaps meet here in the center of town in three days time?” She asks with hope in her eyes and rosy cheeks. 

“Of course, I will wait here for you to return.” Belphie overheard their goodbyes and got slight chills, happy that his sister seemed excited, but fearful because he knew that love between Angel and human was something not taken lightly.

When they got home, Belphegor and Beelzebub sat and listened to their sister speak of the man and how they were going to return and see him soon. So every three days, the four of them travelled down to the human world, creating a new tradition. One day Lilith started going by herself, more frequently and sometimes spending days in the human world, staying with her new lover.

Belphegor was so happy to see his sister happy and he thanked Christmas for existing as he knew that if it didn’t she would never have met the person who gave her so much life. But now he couldn’t help but curse the wretched holiday as it caused her to meet the person she would give her life trying to heal.

-

Belphegor woke up the next morning with MC still in bed, sleeping next to him.

He smiled down at the human and thought to himself how hypocritical he was. He had been so mad at Lilith’s lover for her death and claimed loving humans if you were not human was wrong, but here he was staring with pure adoration at a human he was proud to call his.

MC stirred and looked up into sleepy violet eyes before slightly sitting up for a kiss.

They both got ready for the day, brushing their teeth, changing into new clothes and eventually arriving in the kitchen for breakfast.

“Ok, funny story,” MC laughs nervously as they open the cabinets, meeting nothing but air, “we are out of food and I’m going to have to go shopping. So you can either stay here alone or join me. It’s completely up to you.”

Belphegor weighs his options before a small voice in the back of his head tells him to join his significant other in public and protect them from witches or other supernatural creatures that may see the pact marks that adorned their skin.

They unplug the tree to avoid a fire and bundle up to avoid hypothermia. 

MC holds his hand the whole way, soothing any nerves he had. They tried to crack some jokes to make him feel less awkward but they eventually stopped as it didn’t seem to help him. 

As they shopped Belphie’s vice grip on MC’s hand loosened to a casual hold instead of a fearful one. 

“This is actually… kind of nice,” he mumbled as he looked around at the humans shopping, some kids horsing around as their mother tried to reign them in, an old couple slowly making their way down the aisle, a father trying to make his infant laugh at his funny faces.

“See, I told you it wouldn’t be so bad,” MC smiles at him sweetly.

They finished up their shopping and paid for their groceries before leaving. On the way home Belphegor made MC stop so they could look at a snow covered park where parents sat and watched their children and he saw some dogs run after frisbees and snowballs their owners had thrown.

The whole way home Belphie couldn’t stop smiling as he watched humans enjoy their lives despite theirs being so short compared to his own.

Then he saw a young lady bump into a man, apologizing before they struck up a conversation. He saw Lilith and her lover for half a second before blinking and seeing the strangers once more. 

When they arrived home and got settled in, putting away the groceries and getting back into their PJs, they sat in front of the TV, watching some show MC wanted to catch up on while they were home where it aired.

A commercial came on that Belphie had seen the night before. It was a Christmas movie that was apparently a “remake” of a story about some green man in the mountains stealing a holiday. He saw on the screen it was apparently ‘in theaters now’, so he turned to the human beside him.

“Hey MC… do you think maybe we could go see that tonight?” he smiled shyly and MC sat up and gave him a soft kiss.

“Of course! I’m glad to see you finally feel good about going outside.”

“I mean… movie theaters are just dark rooms you sit in watching a giant screen for a bit,” he shrugs, clearly still a bit nervous about being around other humans.

“Ok, it is still a start though!” MC hugs him before going onto their phone and looking for movie times.

-

At the end of the movie MC and Belphie walked out hand in hand, him acting much more natural than when they had first arrived.

They returned to the apartment building and were once again greeted by the security guard, George. 

“MC! MC’s boyfriend! Have a nice date?” he smiles at the pair.

“Yes! We saw a movie!” Belphie tries to put on his best Swedish accent and watches as the security guard looks surprised. 

“Very nice!” George smiles at him, talking very slowly to ensure Belphie could understand him.

Belphie continued to communicate in short and simple sentences in his god awful attempt at an accent. After they left the lobby, MC and Belphie broke into laughter.

“That was awful” MC laughs out, clutching their stomach.

“I only knew how the accent sounded from that show you were watching last night,” he responds, also laughing very hard.

The rest of the night, Belphie and MC make plans for the remainder of their time in the human world. 

The next day they went Ice Skating, Belphie falling over a lot before finally getting the hang of it. Though, by the time he got it, he was exhausted and falling asleep on the ice. MC had to hurry home so he didn’t knock out on the sidewalk.

The day after that was Christmas, and Belphie was grateful he hadn’t had any dreams to upset him the past few days.

He had bought MC a gift before they left the Devildom and MC had left to go get him one yesterday when he fell asleep. They both handed each other gifts and unwrapped them at the same time.

“A blanket that matches my pillow!” Belphie exclaims with a big smile, holding the cow print cloth up to get a better view of it. He wraps it around himself as MC finishes getting the wrapping off of his gift to them.

“Oh wow… Belphie this is beautiful,” they lift the necklace up and place the star shaped charm in their palm.

“I had it custom made,” he pulls his own necklace out from under his shirt, “Beel has one too, the third one, that is shaped like stars too, is on Lilith’s tomb under the house. You came and changed me, MC. I want you to know I don’t see you as Lilith, but you are still a piece of my family, and I promise to protect you forever.”

Belphie was certain he would never see the blood on those stars again, he would protect MC with his life and never let them get hurt by anyone or anything.

[finn-ray-nal-beads]

i’m tryna vibe into the christmas season which i know you hate, so spin me a yarn w the dastardly boy mr sackler buying presents for us. 🥰

@maybe-your-left HOW DARE YOU PUT XMAS SHIT IN MY INBOX I HATE IT SO MUCH. But for Sackler, I guess I can get... Creative.. Plz take a gander at these THOTS I have about our boi and his dirty ass mind. 

- Sackler isn’t a really patient person, to begin with, so Xmas shopping is a combination of stressful and manic for him. 

- After walking into every single goddamn store in New York, he got a brilliant idea... who needed fuckin’ presents when you had the best gift of them all? HIS BIGASS COCK WRAPPED UP IN A FUCKIN’ BOW LIKE THE PRETTY BOI HE WAS. 

- He B-lined it home, grabbing red ribbon and some tape for extra good measure, to become the gift that kept on giving... and BOY were you in for a surprise that evening. 

- He waited around until about fifteen minutes before you’d be stumbling in the door from work, exhausted as all hell from the insane day at the office. 

- He stripped himself down into his birthday suit (or Xmas suit as he referred to it during the holidays) and wrapped his pretty pecker like the fuckin’ gift it was... running out of ribbon because of it’s... GIRTH 👀.

- When Adam seemed satisfied with the wrapping he’d done, making sure to pump his cock in his hand gently to make it nice and stiff for your arrival. 

-Thinking of you, tied to the bed in the very ribbon he’d used, naked and starving to be stuffed like an Xmas stocking, writhing under him to spray his seed over your jiggling tits... Ya, ‘that makes him nice and hard’, he thought glancing with a smirk at the clock, moving over to the tree, laying like Burt Reynolds to show off his endowment. 

- And just in time too as the keys jingled in the lock of the apartment door, signaling your arrival. 

- You trudged in, holding your purse, a brown grocery bag, and your phone up to your ear, speaking to your sister as you shut the door with your heeled boot behind you, “no, God, please tell me she’s not coming to dinner,” you whined into the phone, not even paying attention to the large gift under your tree as you set your effects on the table. 

- “Fuck!” you rubbed your eyes, listening to her drone on about who was going to be coming for Xmas Eve dinner, glancing over to see if you had enough wine to keep you satisfied while your family would crowd your shared apartment. 

- “Hold on, sis,” covering your hand with the phone to look over the back of the couch, eyes going wide as you saw the majesty before you, “I-I’m gonna call you back,” hanging the phone up to click your heels over to Sackler and his display. 

- “Why, hello there babe!” grinning from ear to ear as you crossed your legs at the warming sensation developing in your panties, “what the hell is this?” gesturing to his Eiffel Tower dick wrapped crudely in tape and ribbon. 

- “It’s my gift to you, kid!” smirking as he rubbed his heavy balls, staring you down like an animal, “couldn’t think of anything better than 25 days of dick!” he yelled out, jumping up to wrap your waist in a large hug, kissing your open neck as you took his hulking figure in. 

- “You gonna let me unwrap it, babe? It looks kinda suffocated!” chuckling as you pushed him playfully off your body. 

- “Kid, you can do whatever you want with it,” giggling back as he gripped your cheeks, kissing your lips a few times, “it’s the gift that keeps on giving all year!” smacking your ass as you led him back to the bedroom. 

------------

OH NO! DID I COCK TEASE YOU LIKE YOU DO ME ALL THE FUCKIN’ TIME? YES, I DID MERRY FUCKIN’ XMAS I LOVE YOU, SISSY! 🖤

[ntamain]

Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she's gay?

another gay gem from the r/relationship reddit

Update:

Image ID under the cut, please let me know if I did it wrong!

[Image ID: four screenshots of a post from the relationship subreddit by tumblr user nta-main. The title reads “Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she’s gay?”

The text reads “Update post is now locked, I cant believe so many people were interested in us!! Thank you again for your support, comments and messages.

Hi all, I can't believe I'm asking for advice from a bunch of strangers on the internet but I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. Sorry for the incoming essay but I guess I need to give history. I bought my first house in September last year, It was an odd time but everything just fell into place. It's quite a small village and everyone is really friendly so I got to know my neighbours soon after moving in - yes, socially distanced. Then I met my over-the-road neighbour, let's call her Elle. I can't describe it but it's the first time I've ever met someone and been lost for words and my heart was racing and just thought "omg", y'know?? So after I blushed my way through a welcome to the village type convo we only saw each other for a wave and hello for a few days.

To help kinda settle in I had my dog (Bea) with me for the first few weeks. During this time there was a massive increase in dog thefts in a nearby town, not just from gardens but literally wrestled away from people. If I'd have been working (furloughed off and on since March) then I would've taken Bea back to mum's but since I was home with her all day she stayed. So the local police advised to not walk dogs alone but we go out twice a day, a 10k run in the morning and a few miles walk in the evening. So obvs this scares me, but at the same time she is honestly a pain in the arse and gets upset if she doesn't go for a run and needs to be tired out so I'm kind of stuck at this point. Then along comes Elle. She knocked on the door and offered to come with us as she'd seen Bea and me in the evenings and everything kind of spiralled from there. I told her about my morning runs but she didn't really bite so I thought nothing of it. Then a few days later I bumped into her on a run, so she started joining us on those too.

A few months later and we are spending more and more time together everyday. It has now progressed to a run early morning, afternoon coffee, dinner most evenings and then the evening walk. It just seemed to happen without me really noticing. I didn't read into things that much as I don't want to get my hopes up and ruin anything until another neighbour commented about how much time we spend together and how "it's nice to see you young gals getting on" and winked. She actually winked at me. I asked her what she meant but she just laughed and said "you know what I mean". So now I'm looking back on things and wondering if she could like me too?

Here's some reasons why she might like me:

I went running along the same route at the same time for nearly 2 weeks before I happened to run into her a few days after I told her this?

I make her a coffee every afternoon (Elle is WFH) and take it over in her fave mug. She says I make good coffee but I'm pretty sure I saw a fancy coffee machine the first time I went round (it's not there now?).

Elle carried on running and walking with me even after Bea went home. I told her she was going back to mum's and she said well "I'll have to make another excuse to join you" and then we just carried on everyday.

She has tried really hard to bond with Bea. Bea is a very anxious dog and is scared of everyone except me and mum. Elle bought special treats to give her everyday and has been so amazing with her and never tried to force anything. When I asked her she said "it's important to me that she likes me and is comfortable". Bea actually fell asleep between us on the sofa yesterday and It just makes my heart skip a beat guys.

She invited me to the zoom quiz she does with her friends every fortnight or so and they were all like "oh so this is who we've heard so much about "

We realised we had become each other's support bubble. Elle asked if I was meeting anyone else and I said no, she said she was glad she had me all to herself (!!)

We gave each other quite personal xmas presents. Like, it actually made me tear up it meant so much to me. And she bought stuff for Bea!!

Reasons why she might not like me:

All the reasons above, but that she's just doing them because she's a fucking great person and we're friends?

It might sound dumb but idk I need your help guys. She is the just the most incredible person I have ever met and I really really like her but if she isn't gay or doesn't feel the same I don't want to lose her friendship as she has become such a huge part of my life. I genuinely have no experience with these kind of things as I went to quite a strict all girls school, so it's not as if there were any relationships around me as a teen and then I went to a very small uni (8 of us on my course). I guess another reason is that I've struggled with anxiety and depression for the past 10 years, as well as my weight and working on my self confidence, but I can say that right now I am the happiest and healthiest (both mentally and physically) I have ever been. I've only just really become comfortable with the fact that I'm gay and I have never really told anyone in real life, but I don't think people would be too surprised lol. I don't have any close friends as no one stuck around when I was really struggling with my MH a few years ago so I can't discuss this with anyone irl.

So I need your advice : how do I find out if she is gay? And no, I don't have the confidence to just ask!! What if she says no and I ruin everything? She has never mentioned anything about past relationships and I'm pretty tactless so not sure how I could naturally slip it into the convo. Like, "hey tell me have you ever had a girlfriend? Do you want one now?" Lol. And how can I make a move without really making a move so I don't ruin things??

tl;dr : Don't know whether my neighbour is gay and into me or is just really friendly. How can I make a move without ruining our friendship?

Edit: Ok guys, thank you so so much for all your support and encouragement. You've all given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to casually slip some gay stuff into conversation and see how she reacts. Then bring up the neighbours comment like some of you suggested, seeing as tho the neighbour was heavily implying that we're gay. I'll do it tonight otherwise I'll talk myself out of it again. I will post an update to let you know what happens (eek). If you never hear from me again assume it went badly and I am consoling myself with cake and watching brokeback mountain in floods of tears.

Hi reddit, yes it's me the useless lesbian. First off I want to thank you all for your support, encouragement and advice - and the undeserved awards! I never expected this many of you to take the time to comment and that so many of you were rooting for us.

So I had the plan to drop these gay hints into convo like you guys suggested but honestly it all went out the window. Elle was kinda stressed friday after a shitty work zoom and just needed to vent so it wasnt the right time to start anything. Though I guess I must have been a bit off thanks to spending all day overthinking things on here, as Elle turned up Saturday morning rambling about stressing me out and apologised (!!) for ruining dinner. Obvs I said "what are you talking about you can talk to me about anything", and she said "anything?" and I said "anything" back. And guys the tension was unreal, staring at each other and hoping our lesbian mind reading powers would kick in.

Then there was some loud noise like a car backfiring or something and the moment went. So I went to make coffee and then Elle asked me why I was a bit quiet the night before and I said something about overthinking stuff and she said "what stuff" and idk you guys I wasnt prepared to be put on the spot my casual gay pop culture references were useless in this moment. My mind just went completely blank and I forgot every single thing you guys suggested and my heart was pounding and I just blurted out you know I like you, right?.

...And then she kissed me. Kissed me. We straight up just snogged in the kitchen and it was fucking great. So...you were right. You were all fucking right. She's gay, she likes me and has been trying to drop hints for nearly 5 months. sigh

We were both just too scared to make a move or ruin anything. Turns out she's been burned by straight girls in the past, so she's pretty wary and was hoping I'd straight up say I'm a lesbian so she'd know for sure - maybe the I'm a lesbian wall hanging would've been a good idea after all? Her friends have been helping her drop hints, she showed me the group chat and guys their suggestions ranged from flirting more to just turning up in a trenchcoat and nothing else lol. Also, the winking neighbour has been making comments to her as well, so shout out to her for trying to make this happen too.

So no cake and cry watching brokeback mountain, just 5 months of dating to catch up on. As for worrying about how our current schedule could be more date like during lockdown, you were right it's kinda irrelevant when you've essentially been dating the whole time. Though we never made it to our morning run yesterday, in fact we didn't leave the house at all, ha.

Thank you guys for giving me hope, even if all your suggestions completely disappeared in the moment. Maybe I'll show her the post later and ask if any of the suggestions would have worked.

tl;dr: she's gay, into me and I'm an idiot”

End image ID]

[haruhi1087]

UA Dorms

Ok, first and foremost a huge thank you to my discord ppl for helping me figure this all out and find screenshots because I swear Hori was drunk when he made these dorms and I eventually just gave up, but we did figure a lot out!

So here y’all go. I use this dorm layout for Zero-verse, but not for Last Black because I hadn’t figured it all out by that point.

The Common Area:

The Zero-Verse Room Assignments:

Below the line is my huge rant explaining the dorm layout and why Horikoshi had to be drunk when he made it. Seriously, it’s months later now and I’m still bitter about how long this took to figure out. I hope this post helps all other fic writers and spares y’all the pain we went through.

So let’s start with what we can learn from the outside of the dorms.

Ok, so first off after the third floor the building splits at the front! That’s why when they’d doing their tour they have to go all the way back downstairs after that point and then come back up. Also important are the two doorways! The dorm is split by gender and the two doorways reflect that. However! The boys and girls do not have to enter separate doors and there is no wall downstairs that separates that area by gender. I’ll get to how we know that in a second. First! Here’s the actual dorm layout:

Alright, here’s where that ‘no common area at the front of the building’ becomes important. First off, there are definitely walls here separating the rooms by gender. The fact that there is no middle area on the 4th and 5th floors tells us that Kouda, Jiro, Mineta, Momo, Souji, and Uraraka have to be the ones by the elevators. The elevators have to be able to go up to the fourth and fifth floor, but the front part of the building doesn’t have a common area where the elevators would go. We also have seen the front left and front right and there’s nowhere for an elevator to be. Also yes, those would be split by gender too, and there would be two of them in the back of the building. 

Proof #1 that Hori was Drunk: Mineta’s room. Alright, Mineta *should* be by the elevators because he’s in the back. His room during the dorm tour *is* at the end of a hallway, but that hallway has a blank wall (see below). In addition, the girls very clearly walk away from his room to go to the other end of the hallway in order to go to the elevators, which we can even see. So either this layout is wrong, or the dorm tour is wrong. I chose the dorm tour and think Hori switched it for the “comedic” effect of the girls running from Mineta, which would be harder to do if his room was right next to the elevator.

Alright! Now for the left side, which is the area of the common room that we know the most about.

Alright, presuming that the translator for the manga has the plurals here correct, then the dorms have 1 dining area for everyone, but 2 laundry rooms and 2 baths, presumably split by gender.

In the front left, we have a large sitting area with two couches, four chairs, and one table. Then further back we have the dining area and kitchen, along with two small doorways in the back. I’ll get to those in a second with a closer pic, but for now let’s focus on the sitting area and turn to another pic:

Ok! So where is this in the common area? If you compare the columns, that tells us that those are the same windows as the ones on the left side. The wall/window next to shoji looks a little different than the one in the earlier pic, but honestly that could easily be hori being understandably lazy in a panel with a lot of busy details. That means that this gathering occurs right in front of the dorm’s front doors. Which means that there are no gender separating walls at the front of the common area. In other words, it doesn’t matter which front door the boys and girls use.

Also! We’ve seen most of the front area, and these scenes would take up a huge amount of space. If anyone was holding out for the elevators being up here to make sense of Mineta’s floating room, there’s just not enough space here for elevators.

Now in the Xmas pic we have four couches and two tables, and who knows how many chairs, honestly. It also looks like they’ve gotten a table or two from the dining area to put food on. What’s notable here is that this is double the seating arrangement we had in that left corner. The left corner itself now looks empty except for a christmas tree. The easiest solution for the doubled furniture is that there is a lounge at the front right side that exactly mirrors the lounge on the front left side. They’ve moved all the furniture to the center for a big Christmas party. Yay!

Alright! One mystery solved and we know *something* about the right side of the common area despite the fact that we’ve never seen it in canon. Now for the close up on the other half of the left side:

Alright so we have three tables with four chairs each, letting twelve students eat there at a time. The kitchen is small—there’s no island or anything like that, just the one big counter and shelves. EDIT: @raunchyredriot​ pointed out that we get a better overall pic of the kitchen and tables above in the pic of the full left side, which means this is zoomed in on the island in the upper left and the second row of tables. So the kitchen at least has a sink area, fridge, island, and some cabinets, and the dining area has six tables in three rows, seating 24 students.

Now for the puzzling part—the back doorways and that sound effect at the top. The sound effect is for running on stairs, and we see Deku sprint out a second later. Now Deku would come from the *right* side of the dorms since he’s a guy, not the left, which is what side we have here. That means there is no wall separating guys from girls at the back of the dorms, even though the baths are there. In a western society and with Mineta in the group, that seems like a terrible idea, but it’s honestly fairly common practice in Japan for doorways to be right next to each other like this. That half curtain is also very normal for bath doorways, so that tells us the baths are there, despite the fact that the elevator screenshots from about make it look like the elevators should be moved further inward. *aka Proof that Hori was Drunk #2.*

Now where are the stairs that Deku is running down? My best guess is that they’re at the back of the garden. There’s no room for them anywhere else in the back of the building, so it’s a process of elimination thing.

Which still leaves the elevators and laundry rooms. Now since there are two of those, it doesn’t make sense to put them on the right side, but maybe the translator got it wrong and there is only one laundry room and it’s on the right side. I think it could just as easily be that the laundry rooms are small with stacked washer and dryers on the left side of that small doorway we see on the back left. At the back of that little room would then be the elevators leading up to all the dorm rooms.

Now, things we know about the right side: seating area at the front. Elevators, baths, and laundry in the back (or laundry only on the right and parallel to the dining area). Or maybe two laundry areas and they’re both on the right side, and it just ignores the parallelism of the rest of the building. We also know that the right has no parallel dining area.

What could be there? Maybe a door to the garden. We know the area in the middle of the building is one and someone would have to have access to it to tend the plants, but we see plenty of pictures of the left wall and there’s no door there or at the front. If the stairs are at the back of the garden, there’s either a door at the base of the stairwell or there’s a door on the right side.

Other than that, who knows? Maybe hori will show us one day, but I’m not holding my breath. He doesn’t seem to want to think about the dorm layout too much. For my layout, I put a small gym there because it’s a heroics program and that makes sense to me.

If anyone has other ideas, feel free to reblog and add on to this or to reply and share! And fic writers, feel free to steal my layout :D :D I’m making this post to hopefully spare others the pain of decoding Hori’s mess.