#without just resorting to getting really angry and telling them to feel bad and this is something that requires logic to do

[sleepii-moth]

the internet sucks because no one else watched the same 3 hour long video that provided in depth analysis and nuanced takes about something and now everyone is just spitting out the same 2 opposing points in an attempt to debate without ever having a chance to get the other person to consider their views at least slightly which has caused the discourse to devolve into needless guilt tripping and i need you people to SHUT UP!!! OKAY!

[spongeyspot]

Toxic Traits/Red Flags HC

Characters: Arthur, Javier, John, Lenny, Dutch, Micah, Charles, Sean, Hosea, Mary Beth, Abigail, Tilly, Karen, Sadie, Molly

(A/N): WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS DAWG. I LOVED @cowboyfromh3ll 's take on that shit sm and these hcs have literally been swimming in my head for weeeeeeeeks bro

Edit: some of these were kinda hard because there's not a lot of bad in the characters themselves... I had trouble with specifically Charles, Lenny, Mary Beth, and Tilly. Sorry if they may be OOC. IM EVEN DOING THE GIRLS BECAUSE IM IN A SILLY GOOFY MOOD

Content Warning: female reader, jealousy, self hate, narcissism, gaslighting, physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, mentions of murder and violence, mentions of infidelity, mentions of sex (Sean, Micah, Sadie kind of) (MINORS DNI)

Not edited btw

The boys

Arthur Morgan

- Honestly, I feel like Arthur would have this insane, crippling fear of rejection, especially when it comes to dating. - His self hate/deprecation plays a huge part in this, and quite honestly, him and Mary not working out probably also probably contributed to it. - Very emotionally distant. Has a hard time expressing his feelings openly due to that same fear of rejection.🚩 - Bottles shit up until he feels like he's gonna explode 🚩 - His impulse control is almost nonexistent 🚩 - Will resort to saying things that he doesn't even mean. He just says things when he's angry🚩 - Will hate himself even more if he makes you cry - Won't hesitate to run away from camp for a while to cool off. This isn't necessarily a bad thing per se, but he usually takes his time away to overthink the fuck out of everything - Prone to acting violent. (not to someone he cared about, but to other people, absolutely)Also due to his poor impulse control. 🚩

Javier Escuella

- Has a flirty personality, but around women, it just seems to get worse. 🚩 - Tells you you're overreacting if you tell him it bothers you🚩 - Overprotective of you. Always has his eyes on you, and practically orders you to stay in camp where it's safe. - As if you step one foot outside the camp without him, you'll spontaneously drop dead - Jealous asf. Are you laughing at what Bill just said? It wasn't even that funny. Why are you standing so close to him? You should be at least 6 feet away from him, not 5 and a half. 🚩 - Also has a problem with how you dress sometimes. God forbid your shirt is ever low cut. He'd probably ask you to change. 🚩 - And if you get offended or upset, he'll lie and tell you it's because he can't stop staring at your chest, and he'd like to focus of whatever it was he was doing.🚩

John Marston

- Stubborn as all hell. Doesn't listen to anybody for anything.🚩 - Commitment issues up the ass - Says mean things out of anger and sometimes actually means them 🚩 - Won't apologize half the time. He thinks kissing it better actually makes it better 🚩 - Regularly ignores his own bad habits instead of actually facing them 🚩 - Will run away from problems like Arthur, but worse. He'd be gone a really long time.🚩 - Gets annoyed with you if you get angry at him for leaving and staying away for a while. He told you he needed space, didn't he? What else do you need from him?? 🚩 - Ignorantly clueless half the time. Head empty, no thoughts.

Lenny Summers

- Not assertive in the slightest, and usually, respectfully, keeps to himself. -Takes orders without verbal complaints but inside he's annoyed as fuck 🚩 - Even if he hates doing something he'll probably just go "Okay" and do it anyway, and he'll sulk all day afterwards - Refuses to tell you what's wrong because he thinks he'll sound childish.🚩 - If you push the issue, he might snap at you out of annoyance like "Would you just let it be??" - Immediately feels guilty and shameful, and he'll hide away until he's ready to apologize and face you again - Also kind of a know-it-all... He'll correct you a LOT. It would get annoying 🚩 - Would blatantly tell you you're wrong before correcting you🚩 - Not necessarily an asshole about it but he still tends to get under your skin sometimes

Dutch Van Der Linde

- The BIGGEST Narcissist you'll ever meet.🚩 -He loses another piece of his mental state with every breath he takes. Slowly but surely losing his mind.🚩 - King of gaslighting🚩 - How could you even think that about him? He could never do anything wrong! You must be crazy...🚩 - Tries to recite his "pretty words" from Evelyn Miller to try and sound smarter than he actually is 🚩 - Expects you to just feed his ego without him actually doing anything to earn it🚩 - Will try to correct you even when he's wrong🚩 - Refuses to admit he's wrong. He can never be wrong. That word isn't even in his vocabulary unless he's talking about literally anyone but himself🚩

Micah Bell

- Where do I even start with this guy - Not above putting his hands on you if he doesn't get his way. Let's be honest here.🚩 - Mega Narccisist, almost as bad as Dutch 🚩 - Will brag and share every sexual encounter you've ever had with him like he's talking about the weather🚩 - VERY prone to Violence 🚩 - NO impulse control. Murders people for fun.🚩 - Backhanded and borderline abusive compliments 24/7 "You'd look so good if you weren't so fucking fat..." 🚩 - Selfish lover. Thinks just sticking it in will do the trick, and it does, for him at least.🚩 - Little to no affection. What are you? His girlfriend? Wait...🚩 -If he actually does show you affection, and you react in surprise, he'll tell you to go fuck yourself, and that that's the last time he ever does anything nice for you.🚩

Charles Smith

- Impossible to read sometimes - Like Arthur, Charles tends to keep a lot of his emotions bottled up until he feels like he's gonna pop 🚩 - Like most of the men in the Van Der Linde gang, Charles is also prone to acting violently. I mean, he started a bar fight with a fucking chair, and he fights in street fighting rings, let's be real for a second.🚩 - He's incredibly quiet and reserved a lot of the time, and sometimes you just assume that he's listening to you when you talk, but a lot of the time, he's lost in his own thoughts. - Will do everything anyone asks him to at the expense of his own free time and energy, and sometimes he works himself to exhaustion just to try and please everyone.🚩 - In doing so, he sometimes doesn't have time for himself at the end of the day. It also seems like you spend time together less and less as the days go on. - If he ever got himself hurt and you tried to help him, he'd decline any help with anything to save his own pride. The last thing he needs is you thinking he's weak. 🚩 - Extremely Overprotective. Like to the point where he'd beat the shit out of anybody you asked him to🚩

Sean Macguire

- An Alcoholic🚩 - horny 99% of the time, but half that time he probably has whiskey dick. Still asks you to try but doesn't understand that it's like trying to play pool with a rope... - If he can manage to be sober enough to actually get it up, and you're not in the mood, he'd get pissy and annoyed with you for "wasting his boner" 🚩 - Will probably also brag about having sex with you to everyone🚩 - Needy as all hell - Bro sulks on purpose - Low key loves the attention you give him when you continue to ask him what's wrong, but he never actually tells you and constantly says "I'm fine..." or "It's nothing..." 🚩 - But then sighs dramatically and continues sulking and dragging his feet so you keep giving him more attention 🚩

Hosea Matthews

- Ignores his physical health until he's practically dying. You've told him to get that cough looked at for literal years and he just says "I will" and does nothing 🚩 - sometimes talks to you as if you're a child especially if he's around Dutch -low key gaslights you sometimes 🚩 - and he says it with such a gentle tone, its hard to catch it 🚩

The girls

Mary Beth Gaskill

- Daydreams way too much - Likes to live in her romance novel fantasy land rather than face reality 🚩 - Cries a lot - Tries to be angry but can't help but cry instead - If crying makes you feel bad for her, she'll probably do it on purpose so you comfort her and give her attention🚩 -If you're in a fight, she'll turn on the crocodile tears to get you to stop being angry with her or whatever it is you're arguing about.🚩

Abigail Roberts

- She can be verbally abusive if she's pushed far enough 🚩 - Holds in a lot of her emotions🚩 - Neglectful of her own personal needs to make sure you or Jack are fully provided or cared for🚩 - a lot of the time, when she's upset with you, you're probably given the cold shoulder and the silent treatment - incredibly protective. Not necessarily a bad thing, but she can sometimes be super overbearing.

Tilly Jackson

- Tells it how she sees it, sometimes accidentally sounding a lot colder than she means to 🚩 - Too sarcastic for her own good 🚩 - Laughs a little too much sometimes when you tell a joke, and you can often tell it's actually incredibly fake🚩 - gets irritated really easily, especially if she's bothered while doing her chores. The last thing she needs is Grimshaw on her ass again.🚩 - irritable a lot of the time, unintentionally becoming short or snapping at you - like john, she also believes that kissing it better is better than actually apologizing

Karen Jones

- An alcoholic 🚩 - picks fights with you for fun, finds it entertaining to see how red your face can get from anger 🚩 - Screaming matches are a regular occurance between you guys, and she starts it almost every time 🚩 - Pretty jealous when it comes to the opposite sex🚩 - Has self doubt and believes that she can't give you everything a man probably could

Sadie Adler

- The nosiest woman in America. No chill. She reads everyone's mail. - Makes a lot of loose threats 🚩 - Anger issues🚩 - Low impulse control🚩 - Can be a little too rough sometimes 🚩 - If she's upset with you, she'll either yell or storm off. Sometimes both. 🚩 -(She tends to walk away a lot more often because she's actuall self aware that her anger issues are a problem) - She'd never admit that to you though.

Molly O'Shea

- Even more jealous than Javier🚩 - Glares at and envies anyone you talk to that isn't her🚩 - Has immaginary conversations with people in her head🚩 - Rubbing her hands together when the real life conversations are following the script she had planned out in her brain - Needs constant reassurance - "D'you even love me anymore?!"🚩 - Overthinks everything 🚩 - Paranoid as hell about infidelity - Gets mad at you when she dreams about you cheating on her🚩

[dinogoofymutated]

Omg I love your headcanons/fics!! I really need to ask if you'd be willing to write an addendum for the jealousy headcanons for Wolverine? Of course no pressure if you can't/don't feel like, just thought I'd try to ask! :) Hope you have a nice day/night, and keep up the good work! 💗💗💗

Jealousy Headcannons!- Multi/GN!Reader - Wolverine, Morph, Angel, Sabretooth. You got it man!! Had a version of this requested for Logan so many times lol. I went ahead and added more characters to round it off into a full multi character hcs. Logan doesn't explicitly punch anyone in this one, so sorry if anyone was looking forward to that! (Sorry though, his is pretty similar to cable's) I'm also testing the waters while writing for Morph. I know everyone is starving for fics with them, but I'm not really used to writing for they/them characters (despite the fact that I try to avoid pronouns for the reader, weird I know, but its mostly due to me using you/your.) forgive me if I slip up with their pronouns, and let me know if I do so I can fix it! TWs: Violence (not towards reader, but some pretty mean names are called tho) Men can be creeps/harassment. Unnecessary changing scene with Warren bc I love non-sexual intimacy like that. Flirting, Barfights again but this time it's a little bloody (sabertooth) Drinking mentioned.

Wolverine

Okay, so Logan here is a bit of a mixed bag when it comes to jealousy. I really feel like it depends on the situation? In general, he trusts you more than just about anyone. When someone flirts with you, he's generally just very grouchy and most of the time, quiet. He glares a lot, and if you meet his gaze he'll raise an eyebrow, basically asking if you need an out, and then he'd act accordingly.

Buuuttt. If he's in a bad mood or has had a tough day, he's more likely to resort to threats and intimidation to handle any romantic attention you might receive. He gets more physically protective and will usually have an arm slung around you at all times.

That's not to say he only gets jealous of romantic attention though. I feel like he also get jealous of anything and anyone taking up your time, really. he'd probably stay quiet until he just kinda snaps and drags you away from whatever has your attention for smooches and cuddles. Don't let him fool you by telling you he's not cuddly, he totally is.

"Back. Up. Bub." Logan's rumbling voice is venomous, a growl of warning as he bows up on the man in front of you. The two of you had been out on a mission together, which normally would have gone perfectly fine. Unfortunately, you'd ended up running into some old acquaintances of his. Both of you were bristiling at the contact, but you knew that coaxing Logan into a fight was just what he wanted. The man had been making moves on you the entire time- and although you were practically an expert in ignoring the flirtation from asshole guys, you were beginning to get more and more uncomfortable with it. It was when the man had started to make sexual comments about your body that Logan snapped.

"Who you callin' bub, pipsqueak?" The man smirks, looking down on Logan with arrogance. Anxiety had begun to worm it's way into your stomach.

"You better learn to watch your mouth." Logan growls. His fists flex as his claws unsheath, the adamantium practically itching to dig into the guy's skin. This was escalating fast, and you needed to stop it now. You both needed to complete the mission without any complications, extra fights included.

"Logan, Please, can we just go?" You say, grabbing his wrist and tugging before he can launch himself at the man. Logan's angry face remains intact, but you can see the way his shoulders slightly loosen. He glances at you, before backing off from the man with a snarl. You sigh in relief as Logan turns to follow you as you drag him away, just thankful you've avoided a problem at that point.

" 'bitch's got you on a hellava tight leash. Who knew the wolverine would be so whipped over some cheap whore." Logan stops abruptly at the words, sighing deeply as he looks at you, rage burning in his eyes. Whatever reserved attitude you had about this fight was basically gone, evaporating at the insults. You let out a long sigh, before you pull your hands away from him and shrug your shoulders. Logan grins at you wickedly.

So what if he came home with a few more bruises than normal? His knuckles would heal- but the ass whooping he gave out would damage that guy's ego forever.

Angel

Warren is the silently jealous type. No matter how bad he's being cooked with jealousy, he's really just going to keep an eye on you from afar. Growing up as a rich kid, I feel like his dad was very strict on manners and how not to make a public scene, which has kinda carried over into his adulthood.

If someone just won't give it a rest and keeps trying to pursue you, Warren will be not low-key about it. He'll come over and set his hand on your back, or sling his arm around your shoulder, or if he's feeling really cocky, Shake the person's hand and introduce himself as your boyfriend/husband. He'll only outright tell them to back off if they start to get out of hand and he knows you're getting really uncomfortable.

"I just don't like him." Warren says, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom. He's still in his suit from before, the red and bright white standing out starkly compared to the muted warm tones of your shared bedroom. You laugh at him as you begin to change.

"What? Why? I think Pietro is kinda funny." You ask, beginning to take off your shirt. Warren sighs in a petty way.

"Yeah, exactly." He mumbles under his breath, walking over to help you when your head gets stuck in the neckline like it always does. You give him a kiss on his cheek when you're free, not quite having heard him.

"Can't I dislike him just to dislike him? I don't need a reason." Warren speaks up this time, and you can't seem to hold back your amused smile as he digs his hole deeper. "-but, if I did, I'd say he's just too friendly with you. I don't like it." You can't help but laugh at that as you finish changing into more comfortable clothes. He turns around on autopilot, letting you unzip him from his suit- careful not to catch his blonde hair with the zipper.

"It's not like he's taking me away from you, Warren." You say, pressing a kisses to his exposed neck and back as you help him navigate his wings through. Warren huffs a little, his wings twitching as his voice goes soft.

"I never said that. I know he's not. I trust you enough to know so. I just..." He trails off, stepping out of his suit and left in his boxers. He lets you pull his shirt over him, stretching his wings in the confined space of the bathroom when its on correctly. You cock an eyebrow at him now that you're facing him, waiting for him to continue. He doesn't, simply looking away from you to avoid your knowing gaze. You let out an amused chuff before closing in on him.

"It's okay to be jealous, Warren, but I promise you, I'm not going anywhere." You say confidently, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He sighs again, but smiles as he looks at you with a soft and loving gaze. His arms wrap around your waist as he rests his forehead against your own, closing his eyes as the two of you begin to sway a little.

"Yeah, I know."

Morph

I really think that Morph is more of an insecure jealous type, but they're more likely to hide it behind humor. If you're being flirted and don't seem to be overly uncomfortable, they're probably going to fade into the background. They know that you love them, and they trust you, but they're so used to being second best for everyone they know that they just feel like they're bothering you. Later on, when whoever is flirting with you leaves, Morph will shift into them and start joking about it. Don't let the humor fool you, they're hurting right now. Just give Morph some extra love and kisses and reassurance and they'll feel better eventually.

Now, if it's clear that someone is bothering you, Morph won't be afraid to roast the everloving shit out of them. They take the moment to really embarrass the person, and if you're in a bar he'd totattally shift into the dude just to offer a drink to everyone and then dip, sticking the asshole with the bill.

You really didn't like clubs. They were busy and loud, but you had a friend celebrating her birthday in one, so who were you to turn down the invite? You certainly couldn't go without your favorite shapeshifter by your side either. The only problem was that Morph wasn't the only one who had eyes for you that night. Morph hadn't said anything in the moment, but you knew stuff like this bothered them. Even while walking home from the club, they still seemed to be trying to brush it off.

"Hey, Good-lookin. You interested?" Morph says, having shifted into the guy who had been flirting with you earlier. They're leaning against the side of the payphone like a goofball, having waited there as you called the school to let the others know you were finally on the way home, tipsy, but still hoping the fresh air would sober the both of you up. You roll your eyes as you giggle at them, shoving their shoulder and sending them stubiling.

"In that guy? No way!" You laugh, walking past Morph before they quickly catch up to you.

"You gotta admit, he was pretty handsome for a POS." They joke, puckering their lips and making kissy faces at you.

"Mmhm. suuureeee." You hum, pushing their face away from yours as they laugh.

"Come on, you saying' that tall dark and handsome isn't your type?" Morph shifts from the man at the club, and into the blonde, blue-eyed Warren worthington, wings hidden underneath the supposed coat. "-Or maybe you'd prefer blondes. I hear Warren's quite at catch." You huff at them, and shake your head again. Something in their tone of voice just seems to set off alarms in your brain, and they doesn't seem to be acting as genuine with you anymore, a vulnerability creeping into their voice no matter how hard they were trying to hide it. This goes on for a rather solid minute, Morph shifting into different people you know and asking who you prefer with a laugh and a fake smile. You shake your head every time, but it's starting to become more than just a bit. You begin to lose your patience, your own hurt seeping through the cracks.

"You're into the gruff, muscly, Logan, right? Hafta' be if you're still-"

"Kevin." You finally cut them off with a stern tone of voice, grabbing their wrist as you abruptly stop walking. They flinch at the name, eyes blowing wide with concern as they shift from logan, then to the dark haired version of themselves- before then settling on the form you know so well.

"... Not the government name." They mumble, more caught up in the strict way you said their name rather than the words themselves. You grab them by the collar of their leather jacket, pulling them close to you as you look into their eyes.

"How many times to I have to tell you I love you for you to believe me?" You whisper after a moment, voice coming out a little broken. Morph's seems to panic a little, making a concerned face as their hands catch hold of your wrists gently.

"I- no, that's not what I..." Morph says, trying their best to fix the situation. They can't seem to come up with the right words, their eyes avoiding your gaze as their mouth opens and closes with no luck. You cup the side of their face, bringing them back to face you.

"I. Love. You." You say purposefully. "Not some guy at the club- you, Morph. Any part of you that you want to give me, Any form you want to take. As long as it's you, I don't care." Morph relaxes at your words, sighing as you bring them closer to you, resting their forehead against your own.

"Yeah?" They ask, eyes fluttering closed.

"Yeah." You reply, finally leaning in to kiss them lovingly. They return the kiss softly, only separating from you when you begin to drag them down the sidewalk with you once again, hand in hand.

Sabertooth

He does not handle jealousy well at all. Honestly, I wouldn't put it past him to put someone in the hospital. It doesn't matter if they're just flirting, or if they're actually bothering you, he's going to start some shit. The man loves to start fights, and he couldn't care less what the reason is for. I will say though, he's gonna be a lot less smiley if the person insults either of you. He may be a shitstarter, but he doesn't take disrespect, especially not disrespect towards his S/O.

He's never mad at you for it. If anything, he's glad you gave him the chance to take some anger out. He'll encourage you to wear sexy and revealing outfits because he wants to see you wear them, and also because he's gonna beat the shit out of the first guy (and every guy, honestly) to look at you the wrong way. ESPECIALLY if you have boobs. Those are his boobs. He wants them to be popping out of your clothes 24/7 but no one else is allowed to look at them. Did he just see someone glance at you? Say goodbye to your teeth, motherfucker. (and your balls too.)

Victor loved shitty dive bars, as gross and unsanitary they may be. He liked to bar hop a few of them every other night, and although you weren't necessarily the dive bar type, you did enjoy spending time with him. Normally you'd just wear casual clothes, but today you had wanted to dress up a little bit. Nothing too fancy, but your shirt was a little low cut compared to what you normally wear. Victor had been loving it, especially since he got to have you as his eye-candy. That was what you were going for, and you succeeded! The only problem was that he wasn't the only one appreciating the view.

You were sitting at the bar, watching Victor win another round of pool while sipping on your drink. A man had sat next to you earlier, but you didn't think anything of it at first. It was a busy saturday night, and there weren't that many seats open at the bar. At most, you had a uneasy tingling on the back of your neck, feeling that someone was watching you.

"What's a fine thing like you doing in this shitty place?" The man suddenly asks. You send him a questioning glance, almost baffled at the flirting. He must be new here, because every other regular of this place knew for a fact who you always come here with, and no other man is stupid enough to try their luck with you while he's lingering around.

"Who, me? Enjoying some peace and quiet, obviously." You say in a sarcastic tone. The man chuckles next to you.

"Aw, not interested, sweetheart? I swear I'll make it worth your while." You make an obviously disgusted face at that, beginning to wonder who this guy thinks he is. The tingling feeling you feel hasn't let up, in fact, it's only gotten stronger. The hairs on the back of your neck are standing up, and you can't help but feel like something is seriously wrong here. You brushed it off on the alcohol, but Victor had always been a bit more perceptive than you. He barely glanced over in your direction before he was storming over. For a split second you think he's mad at you, until he violently grabs the man next to you by the collar, his claws scraping across his collarbones and causing him to yelp as he shallow cuts begin to bleed.

"Did I just see you staring?" Victor huffs, glaring so hard you swear the man shrinks underneath his gaze. Every bit of confidence he had a minute ago had vanished completely.

"W-what? I... Uh..." The man stutters, unable to say a complete sentence through his fear. Victor turns to you slightly, his grip not letting up for a second.

"He say something to you, Doll?" He asks, and you wonder if you should tell him the truth. You almost felt bad for the guy in his grip, knowing that he was probably just stupid and new to this bar. You shake your head in response, even though the stranger had been giving you off vibes since the moment he sat down. Victor grins at you, a loving excitement in his eyes as his grip only gets tighter.

"Aww, you don't have to lie, sweet thing." Victor chuckles, and you grimace when you realise that he totally saw that lie coming a mile away. Vic turns back to the man, his smile dropping instantly as his other hand slips the guy's phone out and slams it on the counter of the bar. "Open your camera." Vic snarls. The man starts to panic now, squirming to get out of his grip.

"N-no! Let go of me Man!" The man stutters. Vic only begins to grin again.

"Nuh-uh. I want you to show my baby the photos you've been taking all night." Photos? You didn't know anything about any photos. Your brows furrow as the man begins to whine and panic, squirming to no avail. Vic smirks at you as he send you a nodd, and you grab the phone and open the creep's gallery. There has to have been over thirty photos of you from just tonight, sitting at the bar, ordering your first drink, even one from when you had gotten up to use the restroom.

"Oh, gross!" You say, recoiling from the phone and wiping your hands on your shirt, not wanting to know where this guys hands had been all night. The man in Victor's grip has gone completely pale, freezing at the sight of Vic's terrifying smile. He reaches over towards the phone with his free hand, picking up the device before crushing it with his bare hand.

"Why don't you head outside, honeybee. I'll take out the trash while you're gone."

[calico-constellation]

Systems, be kind to your “problematic” alters. No, I don’t mean don’t give them consequences for their actions, and no, I don’t mean just let them wreak havoc on your life. But I do mean try to work with them instead of against them.

We have one of these problematic alters. Her name is Nyx. She holds a lot of the trauma and holds a lot of mental illness symptoms and addiction problems. She embodies some of the worst parts of our abusers. Nyx has intense emotions that she can’t always control, she can be manipulative, nasty, mean, she takes front and suddenly we’ve been on a bender for four days and she’s been a total bitch to everyone who loves us and who we love. She self-harms, she’s the reason for a lot of our near misses with suicide. When we say she can be problematic, we MEAN IT.

We’ve spent years fighting with her, trying to keep her in headspace, treating her coldly. She always breaks out of containment. She’s weirdly good at it. But recently we’ve started thinking that Nyx’s propensity for breaking out is, in part, our brain trying to tell us something. Because after years of fighting against her, we decided to try something new. We saw her being angry and bitchy about a particular guy our partner was talking to, and instead of condemning her and locking her up, we asked her why.

Nyx didn’t know the answer at first, so we waited with her until she figured it out. She then explained that she feels like expressing her needs makes her a bad person (which is almost definitely an internalized message from our abuser), but circumstances around this particular guy were making her feel really insecure, and in the absence of being able to talk about what her actual feelings are, she tried to get rid of the threat by being overall angry and negative about him. In essence? Nyx feels like she can’t express needs because she feels like she should be able to meet them independently. So, the needs go unmet, and she ends up resorting to underhanded tactics to meet them, which doesn’t always work because people can’t read her mind, and then it builds up into a much bigger problem than it was originally.

And you know what? That’s something we can work with.

In one of our first acts of real system cooperation, we coaxed her into talking to our partner about how she felt, and she did, and she even wound up apologizing for her behaviour, on her own, without any of us making her. 

We decided that instead of locking her back up, we’d give her the grace of letting her have a little freedom, and asked her not to go on a bender or self sabotage relationships. And you know what she did with front the next day?

She put on a cute outfit, put temporary pink hair dye in our hair, had a drink and a smoke at dinner with our parents and brother, and went to see the Barbie movie with our mom and nana. Not exactly the unhinged behaviour we’ve come to expect from her. The most unhinged thing she did was the hair dye, and honestly? The colour is temporary and it looks good on us. She showed off the outfit to anyone who would give her the time of day, and it was honestly adorable. She was so happy and excited to feel like a cute girl! It’s a very different side of her, but one that’s been here the whole time.

And all it took was offering her some understanding, teamwork and trust. She hasn’t gotten better overnight. She still has a lot of problems. There is still work to be done with her. But you know what did happen overnight? She’s agreed to work with us at all.

So yeah. Be kind to your problematic alters, because that’s the first step of cooperation.

[22ayla21]

Mortefi x Reader

Few can handle Mortefi's sarcastic nature when he is irritated. Well, that was recently, until a new employee came to the Academy. The girl did not work in Mortefi's field, she was close to Baizhi, since she was essentially a forensic scientist and worked at the scene of the crime with Tacet Discord's, but also resorted to the opinion of other researchers when necessary.

It will not be a secret that when the man with scarlet hair is irritated, he often responds with metaphors and literary allusions preferred by the elite of the New Federation, along with the latest Huanglong slang. The new employee also fell victim to his irritation, but imagine the surprise of everyone, and even Mortefi himself, when she responded to his sarcastic words with a joke. She was not offended, did not get angry, she just joked, put Mortefi in an awkward position and demanded an answer to the question of what needed her investigation. That's when everyone realized that working at the Academy would become much more interesting.

- To be rude to me is a bad omen, - Mortefi once said to a girl.

- And we are not afraid of hamsters, - after the girl's answer, some passing researchers almost laughed out loud, but for their own good they shut up so as not to fall under Mortefi's hot hand.

Here is another case that happened by pure chance, however, Xiangli Yao and Baizhi began to suspect that the relationship between these two was somehow too inappropriate for two colleagues. Perhaps it all started when Mortefi accidentally spilled his coffee on the girl's clothes. In irritation, he grabbed the girl and dragged her towards the women's toilet.

- Why do you need to go to the women's restroom? - the girl asked.

- Not me, but you. Don't you want to change? - the man stopped and crossed his arms over his chest.

- I can do it in the hallway, - the girl expected the man to say: "You're shameless, you can't do that," but imagine the girl's surprise when he said "Go ahead." The girl didn't lose her composure either and began to take off her robe, and then her blouse. Mortefi's face at that moment became the same shade as his hair.

- Stop! - the man grabbed the girl to cover her dignity. No matter how you look at it, this situation embarrassed him greatly.

While the man was seething with anger and embarrassment, the girl just laughed. Not far from them stood Xiangli Yao and Baizhi, who were watching this whole situation.

- How long do you think it will take them to become a couple? - asked Baizhi.

- Knowing Mortefi, how can he deny his feelings for someone, I would say at least a year, - answered Xiangli Yao.

And there were many such cases, I can tell you about them without stopping, because every day the book of fun of these two, is filled and filled.

- Maybe turn on some music? What do you like? - asked the girl looking at the player that was standing in the man's office.

- Silence.

- Me too.

- It's noticeable on you.

But probably the most memorable memory was when the girl broke through the window into Mortefi's house and urgently called him to work, since he did not answer the phone, and did not react to the knock on the door.

- Are you all right? - the girl asked as if nothing had happened.

- Relatively, you make me shudder, - Mortefi answered with a heavy sigh. And it was surprising that he was not angry at such a prank, because if someone else had done it, he would have immediately incinerated him.

- I hope, not from desire.

- More from horror. How did you get into my house, evil spirit on a broom? - at some point, the man no longer tried to hide the fact that they considered this unbearable girl a witch.

- Why "evil spirit on a broom" right away? - the girl asked plaintively.

- Sometimes you speak so plaintively that my heart sank, - Mortefi said, trying to dramatize.

-Really?

-No, of course not. It's just annoying. Let's go, otherwise we'll be late.

This was probably the turning point when the man fell in love with the extraordinary personality of this girl. Frequent playful squabbles, a lunch break over a cup of tea with a piece of pie or cake that Mortefi had prepared, but decided to share with the girl, consultations on various research issues, although this was not the girl's area of work and it was unlikely that her opinion would help him, but he always sought her approval.

- Murr-Murr.

- Are you having an exacerbation? - the man asked, sighing heavily. - Although, autumn is already over... So it's chronic? Although why am I asking. You can drive me crazy, evil spirits on a broom. And why did you do it?

- To seduce you, - the girl grinned.

- No need, I'm afraid, - Mortefi answered mockingly. - Don't do anything bad to me. I beg you.

Probably no one knew when they started behaving like a couple. Although what can you do? They themselves didn’t know when they became a couple, everything just became so ordinary that they ended up living together, working together, doing absolutely everything together.

- You’ll see, I’ll give birth to a girl with the same character, you’ll forget about the quiet days altogether, - the insidious wife threatened her current husband.

- God forbid, what kind of threats are these? - the husband asked mockingly.

- Like this, I’m pregnant.

At the very moment when the woman said this, the man’s head was loaded with the realization of what was said.

- Are you kidding?

- No, quite, very seriously.

В душе Мортефи бушевала смесь разных чувств, но первое, что было, это счастье. Не задумываясь, он обнял жену и поцеловал ее везде, где только мог, показывая, как он рад этой новости.

Спустя шесть лет после рождения дочери мужчина вспомнил слова жены, когда она грозилась родить девочку с таким же обычным и веселым характером, как у нее.

- And she kept her promise...

- What? - the wife looked at her husband in bewilderment.

- Do you remember how you threatened to give birth to your second copy, so that I could not live in peace? You kept your promise after all, the devil, - said the man, watching his six-year-old daughter doing mischief with the neighboring children.

[promise-you-doie]

Who knew? | L. Sohee

Who knew the love of your life would be the weirdo you met in a coffee shop?

Sohee x afab!reader

Word count: 8k

Warnings: curse words

Genre: fluff, angst

Playlist

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Karina snickers, leaving the kitchen so she doesn’t have to be in the same area as you. 

Mad isn’t even a strong enough word to describe how you feel right now. You can feel your blood boiling, and every little sound causes you to get more and more frustrated. The reason? You missed all 7 of your alarms because you forgot to charge your phone the night before. 

If there was anything you hated more than the male species, it had to be waking up at 11 am. 

That means you have only 30 minutes until your first lecture of the day, which by the way isn’t nearly enough time to pick out an outfit, do your skin care, your makeup routine, and your hair, and still get to class on time. 

Waking up at 11 on any day, including the weekend, basically meant that your day was already ruined. You’ve already wasted half the day, so it’s best to protect your peace and just stay home. And that’s what you decide to do after attempting to do your hair but quitting after its lack of cooperation.

“I wanna die.” You slur into a pillow after successfully spending 30 minutes getting angry at any and everything. 

“Why die when the sky is clear and blue.” Winter chimes happily, a little too happy for your liking. 

“Maybe you just need some fresh air and a coffee.” Ningning suggests from the bathroom. “I heard there’s a new cafe down the street, you should go.” She adds 

“I don’t wanna go outside. I wanna lay here and die.” You say it as a joke, but some part of you is serious. 

Either way, You still end up at the cafe. Even though Siri kept giving you the wrong directions. What should have been a 7-minute walk turned into 2, 15-minute laps. It’s safe to say that by the time you arrived, you had completely lost your appetite for coffee.

But you’re persistent in making the best out of this unlucky Monday. Walking into the cafe with a facial expression that tells everyone around you that it was only 12:01 and you were already having a bad day. 

“Hi, could I get an Iced Americano?” You say blandly, forcing a small smile to cover the bad mood you are in 

“What size?” The barista asks

“Large.” You needed it. 

“Will that be all?” He asks. 

 You nod “Yes,” while patting your pockets for your wallet. Here's the catch, you left it at home. Before you resort to your last plan; screaming, crying, and sobbing on your knees, you decide to check your purse. Except, you don’t have that either.

“Your total is gonna be 5.05” The barista looks at you distantly as if he couldn’t see the internal war that you were battling right now before his very eyes. “I-” “I got it.” You watch someone stick their arm past you to put their card in the card reader. Thus paying for your much-needed drink. 

“You didn’t have to.” You say shyly, without even looking in the stranger's direction. 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

“I’ll pay you back.” You finally turn to look at him. “Just uh…” You rush to pull out your phone and unlock it. “Give me your number, and I’ll wire it to you as soon as I get home.” 

There were lots of things you hated, men being on the top of the list and being indebted to people is fourth down from it, with “Especially to men” written beside it in parenthesis. So anytime a man did anything nice to you, you wanted to make sure you paid them back immediately just so they don’t try to hold it over your head later. 

“It’s only five dollars.” the stranger says 

“Just let me pay you back, Please.” You beg, still holding your phone out for him to put his information in.

“Well if you really wanna pay me, you could just allow me to take you out on a date.” His response leaves you dumbfounded. A frown grows on your face when he smiles at you. 

If someone were to ask why you were adamant about burning all the men alive, this was the exact reason why. “You’re kidding… right?” You laugh, because surely this has to be a joke. When you walked out of your apartment this morning you were hoping to just have a cup of coffee and maybe some exercise. The last thing you were thinking was to have some guy hitting on you after he practically forced you to let him pay for your coffee. (you didn’t ask him to do that, so basically he did it by force.) 

“Y/n.” The barista calls out your name, luckily to pull you away from the weirdo that is subliminally asking to get in your pants. During broad daylight, in front of a crowd of people.

“Thank you.” You muster up a smile for the barista and head towards the door. Leaving the stranger behind. Owing him doesn’t even matter anymore. It’s not like you’re ever gonna see him again. 

You let out a deep sigh when you hear him yell “You’re welcome.” once you leave the cafe and the door closes behind you.     

“Today has to be the worst day ever.” You complain the second you step into your apartment. Catching the attention of your four other roommates. 

The apartment was small and probably shitty to most but it didn’t matter to any of you because you were all together and the rent was too high nowadays. So if it took all of you piling over each other just so you wouldn’t be homeless, so be it. 

However, being in a small 3-bedroom apartment with 4 other girls meant no secrets. Not because the five of you were nosy, it’s just that the walls were thin and there was absolutely nowhere to go to get any privacy. Best believe there were things about the girls that you wish you didn’t know. 

“Couldn’t have been that bad,” Karina says nonchalantly, walking past you towards the living room to plop down on the couch and catch up on the series she’s been binging for a week now. 

“Well, first I woke up late..” You’re tailing after Karina but get stopped when Ningning walks in your direction, only to take the coffee out of your hand and begin taking sips out of it. “This is good.” She nods without acknowledging the story you’re trying to tell everyone. Skipping to the couch with your drink still in her hand. 

“There’s probably someone in the world dying right now, while you’re crying about sleeping in for a few hours.” Giselle scolds but she doesn’t even take the time to look at you. She just takes a seat next to Ningning and helps the two girls finish what’s left of your coffee. 

“No, but listen, I went to go to the cafe as you guys suggested. But the directions were being stupid.” 

“Was it the directions or was it you?” Karina asks, shaking around the ice in the coffee. 

“It might have been me but that’s not the point.” You dismiss, “After like 30 minutes I finally find the cafe and I go to place my order.” 

“But let me guess- You forgot your card.” Giselle interrupts you.

“Well, yeah. And then-"Wait, if you forgot your card, how’d you get this coffee.” Ningning asks instead of letting you finish what you’re so desperately trying to get out. 

“The barista obviously thought she was cute and gave it to her for free,” Giselle answers for you. 

“No. I-” 

“For free? I don’t think so. Y/n’s pretty but she’s not ‘I think you’re so pretty that I’m gonna risk my job and be homeless’ pretty. Some guy probably just found interest in her and paid for her coffee, so she insisted on paying him back because she never knows how to accept when someone’s being nice but he refused cash and asked her to just let him take her on the date instead.” Karina somehow predicts everything perfectly, which is kinda scary. 

“Yeah, actually” You confirm, but you’re still at a loss for words. 

“So what did you say?” Ningning turns to you. 

“No, of course. This is y/n we’re talking about.” Karina sits up to give you the last bit of coffee but winter reaches it before you do. Swiping it right from under you and taking the last swallow. 

“Well, at least you got free coffee.” Giselle points out. 

“And I'll tell you what I got,” Winter demands everyone's attention. Throwing her arm around your shoulder and turning to you when she says “We’re gonna get you laid tonight.” 

“What are you talking about?” Giselle asks before you get the chance. 

“Jaemin just invited us to a party and guess who’s gonna be there,” Winter asks, pointing to Ningning who pipes up, slapping her hands together.

 “I’m guessing, Jaemin.” You say nonchalantly. 

“Sohee.” Ningning chimes. By now she’s jumping up and down. 

Sohee is the guy she’s been trying to set you up with for weeks. You never met him and you don’t really wanna meet him. She tells you that she has a feeling that you’ll like him but you don’t think that’s the case because well, he’s a man. 

“I’m not going.” You state pushing Winter's arm off of you so you can go to your bedroom. Pretending not to hear all of them yell “Boring.” before you close the door. 

Another con with living with four other girls is that everyone is always ganging up against you. There wasn’t much ground for you to hold when it was always 4:1. With that being said, it was no surprise that you still ended up at Jaemin’s party even after making 101 excuses as to why you couldn’t go. 

You were a few hours late of course. If the girls were gonna drag you out you had to make sure that you wasted as much time as possible. 

“Here, drink this.” Giselle pushes some drink in your face. 

“What is it?” 

“Doesn’t matter, drink it.” She continues pushing the cup towards you until you take it and down the whole thing. Not caring what it is because you’re sure that she wouldn’t give you anything too dangerous right?

wrong.

“That’s horrible.” You yell over the music, wiping the excess liquid from your lips with the back of your hand. 

“Isn’t it? I thought I was the only one.” Giselle laughs while taking the cup from your hand. You didn’t bother to argue with her, since it was something that she had a habit of doing. Instead, you just sit there around the couch watching everyone else have fun and decide that you’d rather be home. Or probably anywhere else. 

Some people might say that you’re a prick or a party pooper, that you were stuck up and unfun but you’d say, they were absolutely right. What are you even supposed to do at these kinds of things? All you saw were really bad dance moves, a mess, and a hangover in the morning. What could be so fun about that? 

“Woah.” You hear someone say from behind you. You don’t roll your eyes yet but you want to, because you’re almost sure you know who it is before you even see them. “I didn’t think this would be the place that I run into you again.” The boy says when you finally turn around to meet him. 

The universe must absolutely hate you, you think. Because there is just no way that you run into the same man again within the same day. “Why not?” You say arms crossed with a frown bigger than the one you had this morning when you ran into him the first time. 

“Well…” He looks you up and down.

“What are you trying to say?” 

“This just doesn’t look like something that you’d be into, that’s all.” He smiles and leans against the wall beside you. “But I’m glad you’re here.” 

This time you roll your eyes and walk away. You don’t have enough time nor do you care enough to try and change his mind about you. Thankfully he doesn’t try and chase after you but he does yell “I hope you enjoyed the coffee.” to which you hold your middle finger up behind you so he can see it. 

“Y/n where are you going?” Ningning runs to you, tugging at your arm when you reach Jaemin’s front door. 

“Home.” 

“Wait! You have to meet Sohee first.” 

“I’ll be fine.” You say trying to get out the door."

“Just 30 more minutes please.” She begs, getting down on her knees but not letting go of your hand. 

You could argue with her, but one thing about Ningning is that she’s never lost an argument. So you take the easy way out and distract her instead. 

“Oh my god, is that Sungchan?” You spur randomly 

“You can’t fool me Y/N.” She looks at you unamused, but pipes up from the floor the second she hears a stranger from behind yell “Is that Sungchan.” 

You blink once and she’s gone, mixed in with the other crowds of people. And you take your opportunity to run away, grabbing the first taxi you see and heading back to your apartment. 

The steam from your shower follows you from the bathroom into your bedroom when you sit on your bed. Drying your hair with a towel, you take a deep breath. This is great, it’s quiet and calm just the way you like it. 

That is until your four roommates come crashing into your room, screaming and squealing over each other and you can't even make out what any of them are saying. The only things you’re able to make out are something about fate and the Sohee guy that Ningning’s been telling you about. 

“Wait, one at a time.” You stand and hold your hands out. “Giselle first.” You add

“Who’s turn is it to cook tonight? I’m hungry.” She slurs and then walks out of the room before any of you can answer her question. 

“Okay… Winter.” You point to her when she holds her hand up. 

“HI.” She holds her hand over her mouth when she giggles. 

“Hi, Winter.” Her giggle gets louder when you smile back at her.   

“Sohee wants to meet you,” Ningning yells, not giving Karina a chance to speak. 

“I’m not interested.” You state, sitting on your bed. 

“Come on, please. Just once.” She pleads for the second time of the day. 

“No.” 

“He could be the one.” Ningning begs even more.

“I don’t think so.” 

“He’s cute and sweet and probably even romantic.” She adds

“Then you date him.” You mutter, laying down on the bed and closing your eyes. 

“He wants you.” She continues even though you’ve turned your lamp off and shifted comfortably under your bed. 

“I don’t want him.”

Other than your bedroom the best place on earth is the library. An endless world of books and possibilities. The best part about it? It’s completely quiet and the librarian always gives you one of her home-baked cookies. 

Today the library is completely empty which means it’s even quieter than usual. The only noise is the traffic noise and the thunderstorm happening from outside. Which is even better for you because you know your afternoon reading session is going to be better than ever. 

Walking down the romance aisle, dragging your index finger down each of the books until you find the very book you’re looking for. The spectator in the painting: volume 7/9. 

You had spent the last four months binging the book after your favorite book blog suggested it. A story about a prince who falls in love with a violinist and risks his life to save her when she gets sentenced to death after treading too deep into the king's chambers. 

The series was astonishing, just when you thought you knew what was gonna happen next, Boom! A plot twist. 

“There it goes.” You whisper to yourself when you find the book on the top shelf out of place from where it’s supposed to be. 

Your heart drops when you hear a somewhat familiar voice. The library is dead silent so when the boy walks in with his green sweatshirt and crossbody bag you immediately break out of your world. Leaning over the bookshelf to see if the voice belongs to who you think it belongs to.

“Good evening, Miss Lynn.” The boy greets happily leaning over the counter. You can tell he visits the library often because of how comfortable he is, smiling and making jokes with the librarian. That doesn’t bother you, but what does is Ms. Lynn passing him one of her home-baked cookies and joking with him about how he shouldn’t tell anyone. just like how she does with you. 

You take that as a sign to mind your business, not even wanting to know who the boy is anymore. Except when you think to walk away the librarian points in your direction, guiding the boy to the sci-fi genre of books behind you. What’s even worse is the exact second the boy turns around you see that he’s exactly who you thought it was.

“Fuck.” you mutter under your breath and hide behind the shelf. Holding your book to your chest. You clasp your hand over your mouth. You want to stand there and take in the shock that your body just went through but you know the better option is to get out of there as quickly and quietly as possible without him seeing you. Turning on your heels and walking quickly out of the aisle.

You’re almost there when you hear the boy call out for you. 

“Y/n?” You know you should just keep walking away but you can’t. You stop dead in your tracks and slowly turn back to him. He strolls closer to you when he’s sure that he called for the right person. 

“How do you know my name?” you question, suddenly every crime documentary comes to mind and your heart is racing. He could be a stalker or maybe a murderer. 

“It was on your coffee order.” He answers with his usual smile. except this time it’s a lot more reassuring, no one with such an adorable smile could ever harm you. Right?

After a few seconds of silence, he points to the book you’re holding. “you read this too?” 

“No, I was just curious about it. But now that I look at it, it seems uninteresting.” You flip the book around as if you’re examining it. 

“I thought people usually started with volume 1.”

“Is this not…” You feign ignorance, flipping the book around to see that it says volume 7 as if that wasn’t the one you intended to read. “Oh I don’t have my glasses, I tho…”

You trail off looking back at the boy. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.” you scold him.

“You don’t.” he agrees while reaching for the book in your hand. “I don't think you’ll like it anyway, the main character is so annoying. she’s always so defensive.” 

Your first instinct is to defend the woman, even if she is fictional. “She’s not-“ but then you realize you’ve blindly walked into his trap.

“Whatever, just give me the book.” You mutter, pulling the book from his hand and walking out of the library. Not caring that he fondly watches you stomp through the library doors with the book still in hand.

“Why won’t he leave me alone?” You dramatically yell upon entering your apartment. 

“Who?” Giselle pops up first

“he?” Karina comes out second

“No! no one can talk to you right now. You’re already taken.”Ningning runs out grabbing by your arm as if this was gonna protect you from the boy, who’s not even in the room. 

“taken?” everyone except Ningning calls out at the same time.

“By Sohee.” 

Instead of a verbal response, you just roll your eyes, Ningning was very persistent, you’ll give her that.

“Okay wait, who's the guy that won’t leave you alone?” Winter asks 

“The guy from the coffee shop. It’s like he’s following me around, first at the cafe, then at the party, and now at the library.”

“The party?” Giselle questions “Is that why you left early.”

“That and I didn’t really wanna see Karina making out with a bunch of different strangers.” You admit, subtly gesturing to her with your hand. 

“Fair” Karina nods 

“Is he cute?” Winter questions

“The contrary! ” You somewhat shout. You’re very driven and determined to prove that you’re not into this guy even though you know it’s a lie. “What's even worse is that he won’t leave me alone and he knows my name.”

“like a stalker?” Giselle suggests 

“Probably, this is why I hate men.” You throw your hands up

“But you’ll love Sohee,” Ningning adds.

Some days go by when you don’t run into him. five to be exact but it wasn’t like you were counting. You didn’t wanna see him, but it was torture for you to walk into places and constantly look over your shoulder because you thought he might be right behind you. 

You’re sitting at the kitchen counter, head propped up by the knuckle of your hand. You’ve been up for hours trying to finish this paper for your biochemistry class, but you’re not making any progress. There were only two coherent lines written on the paper and a bunch of random letters that appeared when you slammed your head on the keyboard of your computer. 

“I am so fucked.” You mutter, head still stuck into your laptop.

Your head stays there just a moment. You just needed a small break, nothing serious, just a small moment to reboot your brain and give you maximum creativity and intellect. 

Except it wasn’t just a moment, you had slept through your first two alarms. Head popping the second your alarm begins to ring, immediately your eyes go to the time. “No~.” you groan frustratedly. throwing your legs over the chair and running into your bedroom to get dressed.

luckily you had just enough time to get some coffee and this time you brought your card. You made sure of it. 

You walk into the cafe and stand behind the six people who are already in line getting ready to place their orders. Humming along to the tune that they have playing lowly from the speakers, you pull out your phone to kill time, going back and forth through your social media. Until it’s your turn to place the order. 

“Good morning, what can I get for you today?” You notice the barista is different from the last one and much more welcoming as well. 

“I’ll just take a small iced americano.” You say, pulling out your wallet to pay for the coffee. 

“And can I get your name for the order?”

“Y/n” 

“Okay, I’ll call out your name when the order is ready.” 

“Perfect thank you.” You nod and find a table to go wait, Although it doesn't take long for the man to call your name. You stand up almost as soon as you sit down, pick up your iced drink, and head to the door. 

Just moments before you reach the door another man walks into the small coffee shop. You can tell that he’s already preoccupied with his phone to notice that you’re on your way out. So you take the initiative to get out of his way. However, it still doesn’t stop him from bumping into your shoulder and knocking your (thankfully, iced) coffee all over your clothes. 

“Watch where you’re going.” He’s the first to yell, he doesn’t bother helping you clean up the mess he made, and he doesn’t even apologize. 

The asshole just walks right past you. 

“Do you want me to kill him?” “Ye-” You almost say “yes.” on instinct but ultimately refuse and turn around to face the boy behind you. Letting your shoulders relax when you meet his soft eyes and familiar smile. “No, it’s fine.” No matter how hard you try you can’t stop the smile that grows on your lips. Hurrying and looking down before he could see it too. 

“I’ll go see if I can get a mop.” he walks away too soon to hear you say “okay.” and you stand there waiting for him with a stupid smile on your face as if you weren’t just wishing he’d vanish less than a week ago.

You’re only able to pull yourself out of your trance when he finally comes back with the mop. You reach to pull the mop out of his hand so you can clean it up but he stops you. “I go this, you can just wait over there. I’ll buy you a new coffee.” As if you weren’t slowly falling for him already. 

“Okay.” You nod sheepishly, walking to where he guided you. 

You weren’t one to get flustered, and especially not by man. But here you were kicking your feet, blushing and giggling all because someone offered to buy you a new coffee. 

It takes only 9 minutes for him to walk back to you with a fresh cup of iced americano. “You didn’t have-” “I know.” he cuts you off, pushing the coffee towards you until you accept it. You finally do after a few moments of just staring at it. 

“Thanks,” you say last, receiving the cup from his hand and getting ready to walk away. He lets you make it all the way to the door before he calls to get your attention. 

“Wait.” When you stop and turn around he jogs towards you and wraps his jacket around you to cover up the coffee stain that you have smudged into your shirt. “Here.” 

You don't fight with him this time because you’d rather wear his jacket down the street than a huge coffee stain on the front of your shirt. “Thanks.” is all you say, as you smile at him one last time. Turning and walking out the door not forgetting to sneak a few last-minute glances at him through the window.

The walk towards your school was like straight out of a movie. You’re grinning from ear to ear, giggling to yourself, and dancing along the sidewalk. Not caring for the strangers that were oddly staring at you.

You could say the coffee gave you energy but really it was the owner of the green varsity jacket you were wearing. 

Then that’s when it hits you. You stop dead in your tracks realizing that you have no way to return the jacket after today since it isn’t promised that you’ll see him again. 

Without thinking much you turn around and run back to the cafe, fingers crossed that he’ll still be there when you get there

You end up back in front of the cafe, panting and puffing but you still shuffle into the small shop and begin frantically searching for the boy. 

He was already long gone, the cafe had picked up activity since you’d left but he was nowhere to be seen. 

You’d encountered him four different times and even managed to get his jacket, but you still had yet to learn his name. The only thing you knew about him was that he read romance and that he likes coffee, parties, and apparently the color green. 

“Whose jacket is that?” Winter asks from your bed, watching you cautiously hang up the varsity jacket in your closet. You hurry and close the door to restrict her view of the overgarment.

“I bought it the other day.” You spur 

“Oh please, that is not your style.” Winter teases when you continue folding all the rest of your laundry. 

“I just needed something really quick.” You miss when Gisselle goes into the closet behind you and pulls out the jacket. 

“This is a man’s jacket.” She calls out, “I can still smell his cologne.” 

“A man’s jacket?” Karina and Ningning suddenly appear out of thin air. 

Squeezing your eyes shut before shoving your face into the palms of your hands, you wish you could disappear right there and then. There’s no point in even trying to explain yourself. You doubt you’d even get through the story without smiling.

“Y/n honey, we need to talk.” Ningning reaches for your hand. 

“talk?” You ask but get ignored by all four of your roommates. Karina and Winter both guide you to sit on your bed for whatever it is that Ningning has to say. She holds your hand as she looks at you to say “You’re forbidden from ever seeing him again.”

You cry “Wha- forbidden. you can’t do this.” You look around to the rest of the girls to defend you but they do absolutely nothing. 

“We've already set you up on a date with your soulmate.” Ningning leans in front of you so you can turn your attention back to her.  

“soulmate?” You question first but then circle back to the bigger problem. “A date?”

“You’ve led us to do this.” 

“How is this my fault? I didn’t ask for this.”

“we’re worried for you, if you don’t start dating now then when?” Winter interjects. 

“This is absurd, I don’t need to date.” You argue but it’s of no use because you still end up at the diner where the girls told you the date was gonna take place. 

You’re not really dressed for a date, just a simple pair of jeans, some sneakers, and the oversized green varsity jacket that you acquired two days ago. 

Wearing another guy's jacket on a date wasn’t ideal but neither was going on a date against your will. 

It was by force obviously, you weren’t here because you wanted to be but because you had no other choice. Ningning threatened to burn all of your prized possessions if you spent less than 30 minutes with the man she’s been dying to set you up with. 

Quite frankly you were starting to grow curious about this Sohee guy.

“Table 4” You murmur under your breath, it’s not hard at all to find the table. You knew this diner like the back of your hand since it’s the place that you and your roommates used as a hangout spot since your first year of university. However, you begin to question yourself when you see a familiar face sitting at the table where your date’s supposed to be. 

“What are you doing here?” You stop and question. 

The bow stands up when he notices you approach him “I’m here to see you.” 

“You can’t be here, I have a date.” 

“With Sohee?” He asks, but it sounds more like a statement to you. 

You’ve seen this before. (not from personal experience of course.) You’re getting stood up by a man you’ve never even met. The funniest part is you never wanted to go on this date in the first place. “Did he bail at the last minute?”  

“I don’t think we’ve ever gotten a chance to properly introduce ourselves.” The boy speaks, 

“If he’s not coming we don’t need to waste our time, I completely understand.” You halfway turn to leave before he blurts “I’m Sohee.” He holds his hand out.

This was a twist you didn’t even see coming. Looking at him with his hand held out towards you, all you can think about is Ningning trying to convince you that you and him were “written in the stars.” 

“Oh, you’re Sohee.” You repeat followed by a laugh of embarrassment. “Sorry about that, I thought-” You’re getting ready to explain yourself but decided against it. 

“Do you wanna sit down?” Sohee asks, only after watching you stare nervously at the chair in front of you. 

“Oh yeah, that’d be smart.”

Awkward is when you take ten minutes staring at the menu because you thought that would be better than staring at the boy in front of you. Taking your time to read the food items, ingredients, and even calories (which you couldn’t care less about.) Especially when you already knew what you were gonna order anyway. The same thing you always order, A burger with a side of fries and a lemonade. 

“I’ve never seen you this shy before.” Sohee interrupts your thoughts as he pulls the menu from your hands. 

“I’m not shy, I’m just trying to figure out what I wanna eat.” You spit, pulling the menu back so you can finish wasting time. 10 minutes down, 20 more to go.  

“I’m guessing you don’t go on lots of dates.” He continues. You wanna yell at him for talking too much while you’re trying to read, but you don’t. You don’t get the chance to, as soon as you open your mouth the waitress comes out with food. 

“We haven’t ordered yet.” You look up to the kind waitress.

“I ordered for you, I wasn’t sure what you might’ve wanted so I just got you a burger.” As if on cue the server places a burger right in front of you, with a cup of lemonade to match.

You wanted to hate him, but boy was he making it so hard.

“If you already ordered, why did you let me spend so much time looking at the menu?” You ask when the waitress leaves. 

“In case I got something you didn’t like.” He says casually, reaching for his fork. 

Either you're just very simple or he’s made to be the love of your life. it could be both. 

“You didn’t have to walk me home.” You’re looking at the ground, watching how your footsteps are in sync with his. It’s pretty dark outside so naturally it’s colder, but for some reason, it doesn’t bother you. 

“I wanted to.” He says simply, and the look in his eyes tells you that he’s being sincere.

It falls silent again, still awkward but this time it’s a comfortable awkwardness. And now that you kinda got to know him you realize that he’s not nearly as bad as you thought he was. So much for first impressions. 

“We’re here.” You stop right in front of your apartment building, standing on your tippy toes and landing back on your heels.

He first takes a glance at the semi-tall building and then back down at you, who's trying to look anywhere else but him.

“Thank you for agreeing to see me tonight.”

“yeah of course.” You nod even though you were completely against the idea. 

“I had fun.” 

“Me too.” You nod again. 

“So I guess I'll just see you around?” You can tell he’s just stalling now.

“I’ll definitely see you around.” you giggle.

“I guess it’s time for you to go now.” 

“I guess so.” you agree 

“Well, goodnight.”

“goodnight Sohee.” you watch him walk away, but he’s taking his sweet time. dragging his feet along the ground the farther he walks away from you. You almost find it amusing how dramatic he’s being. 

As you get ready to walk in and you grab the ends of the jacket you're wearing you realize that this is the perfect opportunity to return it.

“oh, Sohee.” You only have to call out once for him to come running back to you as if he never left.

“yeah?”

“Your jacket.” He stops you when you’re halfway through pulling it off.

“Keep it, it looks good on you.” 

“Are you sure?”

“goodnight, Y/n,” He says last, walking away and leaving you with his jacket. 

“How’d it go? What happened? Isn’t he cute?” Ningning bombards you with questions when you first step foot through your door. 

“he’s tolerable” You kick off your shoes and throw them off to the side. Then you reach to pull your jacket off, sliding it down your shoulders and hanging it up once you reach your bedroom.

“That’s great, it’s an improvement.” 

“If you say so.” 

“Did he say anything about the jacket? I told you not to wear the jacket.” Ningning mumbles 

“I bet he smelled the other man’s cologne.” Giselle snickers as she walks by.

“He said it looks good on me.” The room goes quiet and everyone stares at you...” Ningning watches you, jaw slacked and dilated pupils. 

“Y/n has a boyfriend, Y/n has a boyfriend.” It takes them not even ten seconds to form a circle around you and begin dancing like school children on the playground. 

Your favorite time of day is when the sun begins to set. When the sky is painted in shades of orange and pink the birds fly over the sky. Your bedroom is flooded with the natural lighting of the sky, matching the mood of the jazz you have playing in your headphones.  

For a moment you sit and gaze out of your window, observing the people walking the streets below you, watching the cars drive past and the trees that sway in the direction of the wind. All of these things distract and entertain you, yet they still remind you of the boy you're trying so hard to forget. 

You stand up and close the blinds of your apartment. Blocking out all light, your room drifts into complete darkness, with only peaks of light shining through the cracks. 

That’s how it stays when you walk into the kitchen with the rest of your roommates. 

‘Oh, there she is.” Karina dramatically announces your appearance when you shuffle into the crowded space. Taking a seat on the stool next to her. 

“How come you don’t talk to us anymore?” Giselle asks 

“You are being dramatic, we talked this morning.” 

“You only asked me if I knew what you did with that hideous green jacket.” She scoffs 

“It’s not hideous, you just have no taste.” You playfully scold. 

“Whose jacket is that anyway?” Winter speaks up, digging in the fridge to pull out the orange juice. Wincing when Ningning slaps her arm for drinking out of the carton instead of grabbing a cup like everyone else. 

“Mine.” You answer. 

“No but actually?” Giselle asks, just as curious as the rest of the girls who are all watching and waiting for you to answer the question honestly. 

“Some guy let me borrow it because I spilled coffee on myself.” You leave out quite a few details but you’re sure what they don’t know won’t hurt them. 

“Okay so wait? Some random guy gave you his jacket-” Winter starts but Karina finishes “And you accepted it.” 

“I didn’t wanna walk around with coffee stains.” You shrug. 

“This is great, this is great. You’ll just go downstairs and explain that to Sohee so he won’t get the wrong idea.” Ningning claps as she gradually gets closer and tugs at your arm. Completely missing how blatantly confused you are. 

“Downstairs?” 

“Yeah, in his apartment” She never stops tugging at your arm. 

“Wait, he lives here?” 

“Yeah? Unit 411.” Ningning finally registers just how confused you are. “Didn’t he tell you?” 

Instead of answering her question you run out, leaving her and the rest of the girls as puzzled as you were a few moments ago. 

Without thinking much you knock on the door, just to see if what Ningning said was true. But after you knock you start growing anxious, suddenly you can hear your heartbeat and your hands are frantically moving at your side.

In the span of 10 seconds, you check the unit number 12 times just to make sure that you have the right one, and you’re not knocking on someone else's door. Soon you start to wonder what would happen if someone else answered the door. 

Just when you come to the conclusion to bail, you hear the doorknob turn and the door opens to reveal the boy you expected to see.  

Unfortunately, now that you see him, you realize you hadn’t planned after this point. So you just stare at him eyes wide, unsure of what to say or do. You’re just as shocked as he is when he stares back at you with a matching expression. 

You clear your throat before you take the initiative to speak first. “Why didn’t you tell me that you lived here too?” 

He answers, “I didn’t wanna scare you.” 

“Oh… that makes sense.” You nod, looking down at your pajama pants and bunny slippers. 

“Do you wanna come in?” He holds the door open for you to accept his invitation but you shake your head and back up. 

“No, I can't, I have to~” You struggle to come up with an excuse. “Finish my laundry.” You finish, nodding as if that’s gonna make him believe you. 

“Okay, well, I’ll see you around then?” 

“I guess it’ll be hard not to.” 

You were never too fond of men. 

While most people had a tragic backstory that led them to hate the things they hate, you didn’t. 

You weren’t crossed by a man in your past resulting in your blatant hatred of the entire species. Sure you’d had unfavorable interactions with quite a few men in your life, but that wasn’t what led you to dislike them. 

It took many years of observation for you to come to your conclusion on the male race. However it didn’t take long for you to learn a few things about them.

But the most important thing was, they were all the same. 

That’s what you thought for years, every man, boy, guy, or male is the same. Yet, you find that your conclusion might not be entirely accurate. 

Looking at Sohee you feel that he’s different from all the guys you’ve ever come across. He isn’t selfish, or obnoxious. He isn’t entirely full of himself. 

He’s actually sweet and easy to be around. 

Which was good for you because, since you found out that he lived within a few hundred feet from you he began to follow you around like a puppy. 

Whether it was walking you to and from class, or even showing up to your apartment with breakfast. 

It was off-putting at first, 

You mindlessly strolled down the hallway of your apartment building. You weren’t thinking of anything other than the leftovers you were gonna eat when you finally got home. 

Sohee however had different plans. The second you turned the corner you noticed him standing at your door with what looked like a bag of takeout. 

Your body goes into shock before you can even comprehend what you’re doing. You hide behind the corner. 

You think maybe that’ll buy you enough time to figure out what to do next. You take a deep breath before slapping your hand over your mouth. 

You take a look at all the options you have. You could either sneak out through the stairs or you could take your chances with the elevator and hope that the girls aren’t on their way home. 

“Who are we hiding from?” Sohee suddenly appears right beside you. Causing you to jump in horror, luckily you were able to come up with a lie on the spot. 

“I was just… looking for my earring, I think I might've dropped it.” You pretend to look around for a nonexistent piece of jewelry. 

“What does it look like? I'll help you find it.” Rather than making him help you look for something that you knew was never going to be found you concocted another lie.

“uh no it’s okay, they were getting old anyways.” You say, pressing your lips into a thin line. 

“Oh well, do you wanna have lunch together?” He grins, holding up the brown paper bag in front of your face.  

But over time you’d gotten used to it, and maybe even came to kind of like his dog-like personality.

“So you’re a man-hater” Sohee starts, despite knowing that you hated when people talked while you were reading. 

He’s not necessarily an exception but you don’t get as mad about it when he does it. You continue reading, but you spare a moment to respond to him. 

“I guess you can say that.” Your eyes are still glued to the words of the book. 

“But you like me.” He continues, you make the mistake of pulling your gaze away from your novel, meeting the annoying smirk he has on his face.

You open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it. “You do know I'm a man right?”

“Yes, I know you’re a man. I have eyes.” 

You watch his grin grow wider before you go back to reading your book. “And I don't like you, I just don’t hate you as much as the others.” 

You say, even though you're sitting in his bed, your hair pushed up into a bun and your glasses hanging loosely above your nose. It’s a Saturday night, you could be doing skin care with your girls or binging cartoons on Netflix. But you chose to be here, in his room spending time with him.

To him, that said a lot.

“Woah, so you're in love with me.” Sohee jokes partly.

“How did you come up with that?” You laugh, turning on your side to face him better. 

Sohee shrugs, “It’s a talent.” He wasn’t too far off. You often denied it whenever someone brought it up but if you were being honest. you were falling for him, faster and harder than you liked to admit. 

The more you resisted, the easier he made it. There wasn’t anything you could do, it was inevitable.

Almost as if it was fate. 

You laugh to yourself thinking about it, laying your book down and fully relaxing into the fluffy white pillows he has aligned on his bed. 

You’re fighting against sleep, trying your hardest to keep your heavy eyelids open. Taking long blinks until you finally give in and let yourself fall asleep. 

Sohee finally comes back with the water you asked him for but you’re already well into your slumber. He’s sure of it because when he gently calls your name all he gets in response is a soft snore. 

Rather than waking you up, he pulls your glasses off, closes them, and lays them on the bedside table. He leaves for a brief moment to get you another cover, laying it over top of you and turning the lights off so you can rest peacefully. While he took the couch for the night.

“Where were you?” Ningning scolds. Not even letting you walk all the way in the door before she starts bombarding you with questions 

“Do you know how long I stayed up waiting for you? I was worried sick.” She continues to yell at you when you finally squeeze past her and walk into the apartment. 

“You went to sleep at nine.” Winter exposes her

“I was worried sick.” Ningning repeats, swinging her index finger around. 

“I slept at Sohee’s.” You say almost in a whisper but Karina is somehow able to hear you all the way from her room. 

“What?” She runs out, “You slept at a man's house? With a man?” 

“Yes, and that’s all we did. So don’t get your expectations too high.” You scold, specifically pointing your finger at Ningning who’s bouncing with joy. You can already tell what she’s thinking before she even says it. 

“No, we didn’t sleep in the same bed,” 

The rain outside sounds more like a hail storm than anything else. You just wait by the entrance of the school and contemplate if you wanna walk home in this weather. 

The sound of the heavy wind isn’t so convincing but the boy waving at you with a bright smile might be enough to sway you. 

“What are you doing here?” You ask, mindlessly walking into the rainstorm to meet him face to face. 

“I came to walk you home.” He responds, his smile unwavering. 

“You shouldn’t have, you’re all wet now and it’s cold you’re gonna get sick.” You’re scolding him but he’s still grinning at you like an idiot. 

“I wanted to.” Is all he says locking eyes with you.

The rain could be snow, the sky might be purple but his eyes, you’re sure are brown. A brown that can only be seen with the help of the sun. Now that the sun was nowhere to be found they were so dark it could be categorized as black. 

You find them the most mesmerizing at this moment. You’re staring at him and he’s staring back at you. That’s when you take the opportunity to see how his lips feel, closing in the space in between you that not even a drop of rain can fit through. 

Isn’t it crazy how love can be found in the strangest of places, who would’ve thought you’d fall head over heels for the weirdo you met in a coffee shop? 

[tmwcs]

can you rate the scale of yandere levels for each heelead? Like from least to most dangerous thanks. I am so obsessed with heeleads being so down bad for me in each series and I just gotta know what there scale is.

Gladly!

Softest

Starting from the least or the softest yandere heelead, I will say it’s probably (believe it or not) heeler. Bro if give caught up to the current chapters of TO, you’ll already know the backstory of Heeseung in that series. I’m going to explain this without exposing spoilers, but prior to meeting you, he’s a serial killer. He did terrible things to his victims, and yes, while he did kill a man to protect you (nothing out of the ordinary for a yandere) his actions henceforth has been very traditional yandere and nothing too extraordinary. He’s done the whole thing where he kidnaps you, subjects you to noncon sessions, holds you against your will and suppresses you by keeping you with him, but with you by his side, it sort of…..tames him. *hint hint*

2. Heebros: the twins are generally pretty calm because all they care about is living a fruitful life with you. Like heeler, they’ve done some messed up stuff and pretty much trained you to stay and ‘love’ them. I would say that they’re not the type that would resort in killing or getting too out of hand for just any old reason. Someone would have to literally try to take you away or really hurt you in order for them to murder. Unlike some heeleads, where they will kill if someone so much as looks at you, these guys won’t bother unless they feel it is required. There is a line, and once that line is crossed, that’s it. But that line is far up…but not by much lol.

3. Heelel. Now the devil is very yandere and you couldn’t ask for a worse tyoe to be obsessed with you. He is crazy about you and the fact that he took away your mortality and gave you immortality, dragged you to hell and forced you in chains until you fully submitted and gave up, says so much about him. He’s very dangerous. So this is going to be kind of confusing because I would say he’s obviously the most dangerous yandere out of all the heeleads, but he’s very in control of his emotions. He’s the devil, he won’t necessarily act like a crazed lunatic because he is in control of his rage and is soooooo intelligent. He willl (and has) kill for you…he’s tortured and cause brutal deaths all for your name, but he only does it if he considers it necessary. He’s calculating and his insanity mainly shows when he ‘plays’ with you. He loves you and has his beautiful heartwarming moments but also is such a menace. I would say that under general circumstances, he’s pretty calm but if anyone gets him angry, he is the most dangerous and no one can escape from him. At this point, the ONLY thing that will get him angry, is if anyone hurts or tries to take you away from him.

4. Heedam. So heedam was like my first real hard yandere. Heethan is also a hard yandere but he started out as somewhat mild, and it grew the more he interacted with you. But heedam? Man went down a dark path the moment he shook your hand. It’s in his blood. He got hooked on you and had nonstop been thinking about you. I didn’t go into detail in the earlier chapters (though I wish I did…but it will be saved for another Drabble) but I wanted to write out a page where it solely is based off of heedams perspective, from the moment he first met you to when he got you. I’m telling you right now, be prepared for some off the wall crazed obsession. I’m talking having a mural or shrine with a thousand photos sneakily took of you by a hired private investigator, and red markings that are written on a wall saying “you’re mine. You will be the mother of my children. I will get you. I love you. I will not rest until you’re here with me.” Yeah…there is a side of heedam that yall haven’t seen yet because in the series, he’s drafted as a composed and cool gentleman but hidden behind closed doors, up until he finally caught you, he was losing his mind and growing more and more insane for you. *spoiler hint*

….”what are you doing? Sleeping? Thinking? I wonder how you lay when you’re in bed. Do you rest on your stomach? Or do you sleep on your side? God…what I wouldn’t give to witness it…to experience you. Soon…soon. Go ahead and keep living per your usual routine…keep being unaware of the hunter who is watching and planning your capture. Once I shoot that arrow, you’re mine.”

Yeah…you guys thought you had heedam figured out lol. There’s a whole side of him that will be exposed, taking place right after he first met you.

And this man murdered his own grandfather just so he could have you. And trust me….hes done a lot worse for reasons that were so minuscule…remember that young man who bumped into you at Brewery’s cafe? No? Well there’s a reason for that. *hint hint*

1. Heethan. Oooookay. The one with the most character development, leading to a very insane psychopath. Again, you guys haven’t seen the worst and there are sooooo much that will be exposed in the final chapters of HHp….heethan seems cool, calm, and collected but Im telling you….if you’ve read every single chapter of Heethan’s story…all I can say is it’s not what it seems. You guys have not seen the very bad and insane side of Heethan yet, just only got a taste of it. He loves you so much, and….its just crazy how he is. It’s what’s causing the delay in the final chapters because drafting him is a huge chore, I’m trying to perfect it so that way you get a detailed image of his nature. Everything that he’s done is sincere and genuine but let’s just say you’ll be shocked when the final chapter releases. But I rated him as number one because the moment he first met you in MgR, he went downhill. And by the time he got you I the last chapter of MGR, he was so far gone (again he didn’t seem like it because he’s so cool and calm and rational but…trust me….just trust me…he’s not a man you want to mess with) and if anyone gets too close to you, man gets triggered. It doesn’t take a lot for him to give you some sleepy time tea, sneak out at night, smash skulls and bury bodies. That, or, grind a corpse into burger bits and feed it to the pigs at that lovely farm he takes you to…you know, the one from the first chapter in MRE…the one he’s taken you to a handful of times…yeah. That one.

“Heeseung…did you go somewhere? Why are you covered in dirt….are you bleeding?”

“Hm? Oh, nah. Just had to help Jake with some car issues, must have cut my finger or something. Don’t worry about me baby, go back to sleep.”

😊

“But—“

“Shhh….go…back….to sleep….pretty baby.”

😀

“Daddy’s here, so don’t you worry about a thing.”

[pillarsalt]

hi Im the same ex transmasc anon who sent you that aask about rhe tumblr ban thing, I did a lot of reading without forcing myself away this time. (I used to look at radblr sometimes bc I got curious, but when it started making too much sense i would make myself stop reading and tell myself I was being manipulated and try to forget about it..looking back that probably wasnt normal haha,)

I have mixed feelings tho. I don’t regret looking closer, the amount of sexism in the trans community was horrible. I think even radfems don’t understand how bad it was because it was all subtle styff. But seeing it constantly irl and online was terrible for me as a female. It gave me so much internalized misogyny, it made me hate myself and I felt worthless and stupid! and whiny! and annoying! all the time!! unless I was able to be perceived as a man. I felt like I had to be a man to have any respect in the community. I remember being so amazed to see abortion be covered by trans people I followed in even a reblog because it was the first time I saw people in the community talk about female issues at all. Even then it was covered with disclaimers and terfs DNI banners. male,opinions were always prioritized.

I thought this was dysphoria and a sign I was really a man. then I started reading radfem things and its like that feeling instantly lifted. I felt respected, listened to, even though I wasn’t speaking. It was also like all this stuff I’d internalized from being female, all the trauma around sex based oppression, was actually being addressed. in trans circles you get called a terf for acknowledging females face any kind of oppression (they acknowledge sex when it’s to talk about how hard male loneliness is on young trans women, and how the incel to trans woman pipeline happens, though…)

but the reason I have mixed feelings is bc I now feel….dumb? And afraid. And angry. I spend well over a decade being part of this community, half my friends are in the community, I’ve been trans since I was 9. My typings not the best… dyslexia sucks lol. But I like to think I’m smart. Now I don’t know,

And it makes me think totally different of these people I saw as progressive cis male allies, who were so loud about trans rights and hating JKR and terfs. Now they just feel like the same flavor of anti-feminist man I hate.

And the community is so huge and it’s so widely accepted and I don’t know how to deal!

But I am happy to be a woman now. In a healthy way I haven’t been for a long time. thats all that matters.

I'm sorry for everything you were put through. Many girls and women have been sucked into this thinking it will provide a solution for their distress at the social ramifications of the body they're born in, only for more people, namely men, to take advantage of their distress and gain power over them. As you mentioned, even "cis" men get in on the action when they justify intimidating and threatening women with violence in response to perceived transphobia. It's a terrible situation to be in. Made worse when you can't openly talk about with people you're close to for fear of alienating them.

I think you should give yourself more credit. You ARE smart. You questioned what you were told was never allowed to be questioned and realized you were being misled. And what you said about trying to make yourself forget the realizations you've had, that is normal. It's a difficult and scary thing to hold opinions that conflict with those of the majority of your peers. I think it's like the climax of cognitive dissonance -- when what you know is true clashes so hard against what you want to believe, you find it impossible to justify anymore, so you just resort to pretending you never learned the information in the first place. Been there.

I'm just being a stereotype now, but there's a classic Dworkin quote for this:

"Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships."

Anyway my point is, don't beat yourself up. I'm really happy to read that you're accepting your womanhood, it's a hard journey but it's worth it to have a good relationship with yourself. And in my experience (at the sage and wisened age of 25) that it gets easier as you get older. You work through mistakes, and that prepares you to handle the next mistake better. You're right, your health and happiness is all that matters, keep striving for that and it will steer you right.

I wanted to give you some reading recommendations, you mentioned you have dyslexia but I believe these two are available in audiobook form if that's up your alley:

Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference by Cordelia Fine

Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez

There are tons more great books on feminism but these two are my go-tos for hard facts on gender, socialization, and the systematic discrimination against women worldwide through biases that are built into society.

Well uh; TLDR thanks for gracing my inbox, anon :) Hope you keep well.

[shrimpalbuspotter]

Cc dark world au stuff yet again

The relationship between Delphi (whos full name will be Delphini Black) and Albus.

I said In a previous post that Delphi views Albus as a pet. This still stands.

Delphi, unlike her father, was born without any love potion to affect her. She is shown to feel genuine want for a loving father in the play

Delphi IS capable of love! But the love she has for Albus is unlike one you'd have for a child or even a sibling. She sees Albus as a cute little thing, who she can teach to perform tricks and do her bidding. But she does love him, its just more similar to how you'd love a dog you've had since you were just a little kid.

She buys him gifts, I've also mentioned this before, things like expensive jewelry and robes, so that she is seen as more wealthy when she is strutting around on meetings with him (or he is away giving someone a message for her). This is still something reserved for only the richest purebloods who can afford a mudblood (although usually an imprisoned halfblood, as a lot of blood purists hate the idea of a mudblood even being in their sacred home) to have as a servant. Its incredibly expensive and the best job a halfblood slash muggleborn can have. The only difference between them and Albus is that Albus isn't really a servant, and was free

Then, she makes sure he's well groomed. When she was still a teenager she'd sit and prune him for hours, cutting his hair, filing his nails, and making sure he looks clean. To her it was just a bit of fun, but Albus was grateful to even get bathed. From ages 7-10, Albus actually had his hair dyed a bright cyan colour at the tips, but when Delphi turned 18 and "matured" as she called it, she decided it looked stupid and turned it black again. Similarly, she taught him some basic etiquette so as to not look like her pet didn't know how to behave, so he walks and talks like a pureblood when he isn't half way to a panic attack (which is almost all the time)

And there's the fact she dotes on his every move. It had gotten better now she's 22, but when she was 15 she'd make him do all sorts of silly tricks and would instantly order all the human servants to come and look and berate them for not being as talented as her little Munin (the name Albus is given). It got to the point Voldemort had to punish her for continously disrupting them from their work and she threw such a teen Bellatrix esque tantrum Albus had to do 10 whole hours of damage control. Now that she's older she'll mostly just dote on him in private, but she feels all the same. If she's at a ball or its voldemort day, she'll have him do a few tricks on stage for the people.

She tells him everything and doesn't even stop to think "maybe this is a bad idea". Like, you know how you have a long day and you just come home and vent to your dog even though it doesn't understand you? That's what Delphi does. "You wouldn't believe it, Munin. How dare they speak to me like that? Right? It was as if they forgot who I was! I sorted their behaviour out easily, ofcourse, but it still made me angry. Stupid kids... Anywho, i need you to go to Hogwarts and hand this to my Headmaster, Umbridge. Off you go." It's so fucking stupid but Albus is bored out of his mind and just happy to get the gossip, even if Delphi is known for being slightly dramatic.

Speaking of, Delphi is prone to temper tantrums that often lead to something or someone being thrown against a wall or out of a window. Delphi usually crucios people atleast 30 times a day, yet she has only used crucio on Albus around 20 times in the 7 years she has had him. All spread out. But Albus has been physically Injured by her, accident or not. Sometimes he'll simply be standing there and she will go into a huff, throwing a vase at the wall that just so happens to smash against his face. All of his injuries are dealt with almost immediately after. But even then, she usually just resorts to yelling or shouting as a reprimand, grabbing him by the scruff of his feathery cloak and screaming in his ear.

If something were to happen to Albus, like he was greatly injured by another or was given punishment by another, she'd freak out. They'd be avada kedavrad before you knew it. Once, whilst both Albus and Delphi were at Hogwarts, Delphi told Albus he had her permission to go explore. He was caught wandering the school by Umbrdige, and was petrified. He had tried to explain that he had been allowed by Delphi but she simply said "tch tch,I always knew you were a bad sort, child" before going to reprimand him with her wand. That was, until she was spotted by Delphi with her wand to Albus' chest, and by god was she lucky she was useful to the cause or else Delphi wouldn't have let her off with a mere crucio (which she then got punished for by her father. Ugh, take a hint dad!)

On that note- Voldemort and Delphis relationship leans more into the funny haha crack universe this was supposed to be. Because yes, it was originally just Albus being a deadpan dick to everyone and Delphi experiencing lesbianidm.

Delphi acts rather spoiled as a teenager, and takes her role as The Augurey more seriously when she is in her twenties. Delphi was prone to fits of anger where she'd want her fathers attention, and would get it in ways she didn't particularly enjoy, such as crucios. But alas, she was spoiled silly. If Delphi wanted some snot faced preschooler halfblood gone, they'd be found face down in the Black Lake not a day later. If she wanted her very own dungeon to keep Mudbloods in to play with, she'd get that too. And if she wanted to take in the 7 year old son of his newly dead arch nemesis as her pet, he wouldn't be able to think of a reason to oppose. Besides, his daughter would get bored quick as, and he could reunite the boy with his family soon enough.

That day obviously never came. Not that he was upset by the outcome, Albus- or "Munin" as his daughter named him- was a very useful tool indeed. He was incredibly pliant, willing, even when it came to things morally dark. Ofcourse, Voldemort was able to see the boy was truly terrified, but he could applaud the lack of expression on his face that would only slip away when Delphini was around, were the boy would begin jittering and fidgeting much more often than usual. Nevermind that, he was glad his daughter had a confidant as compliant as Munin. They were very rather useful! (Momentarily, he wonders if he would have been able to turn Harry Potter into something similar, but knew the boy was much too stubborn and morally righteous for that. He supposes the apple toppled from the tree and rolled straight down into a well at the bottom of the hill.)

On ANOTHER note... I've been thinking of giving Albus the Augurey skull mask from another au of mine, and rather add a feathered hood to his cloak or make a feathered neck piece similar to a ruff but smaller. Just any type of ruffled collar that protrudes below the chin really. This would make me redo his design as the collar would attach together at a bolo tie then turn into his cape at the back. The skull would be black, because Delphi is extra, and she isnt a fan of the yellowish white colour.

[wingstobetorn]

I WISH TO HEAR MUCH ABOUT YOUR TMNT ITERATION DEAR MOOTIE-

And I shall tell you a lil about my Primordials!Raph in exchange uwu

This bad boy right here? TRANS. Also the heaviest hitter of the team, as most Raph's tend to be. I have this idea for his character arc that actually involves the way that he fights, tbh.

So originally, he starts out with his sais, right? Lots of upper body, lots of defense and all that shenanigans. The unfortunate part of that is that for some reason, Raph is incredibly uncomfortable with the way he fights. He adapts to it, sure, but a lot of the time he'll kind of slip up because he struggles to gauge how much power he should put into each punch and each strike. It's difficult for him to fight with his upper body.

I want to somehow interpret this into symbolism of the fact that he struggles to fit into the mold. Most other Raphs find it incredibly easy and comfortable for them to just punch their way out of situations, P!Raph isn't much different, except that it's not punching that he's comfortable with. He just doesn't quite fit the mold of a typical Raphael, and this shows in the way he fights.

Overtime he will slowly learn-in story-that he doesn't have to go along with what people choose for him. He will always be grateful that his sensei Splinter gave him these weapons to protect himself, and to defend the ones he loves, but these weapons just do not work for him.

Alternatively, as proud as he is to be a Raphael, he has to learn that it's okay to not properly fit into every aspect of a Raphael, fighting style included.

So instead, when he finally accepts these parts of himself and that it's okay to change his approach for his own comfortability-like how he transitioned-he'll lean into a different fighting style; using most of his lower body strength to achieve that.

It's a freestyle version of Kickboxing. Think Morgiana from Magi (if you don't know her look up her fight scenes, they are the pinnacle of a woman that can BEAT A BITCH-)

He'll finally feel the most free to do whatever he so wishes once he achieves this. Raph will finally feel like a whole Raphael, whether he fits the mold or not.

Anyways

I WILL LISTEN VERY INTENTLY TO WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT YOUR AU I AM VERY EXCITED FOR IT, YES INDEED-

DEAR MUTUAL!

Oughhh, those ideas are so cool! The trans allegories are super swag too! I'd LOVE to know more about the premise of Primordials, it seems so interesting!!!! What's the main plot of the au?? What are the others like??? You mention Raph not fitting into the mold of other Raphs, so does that mean he's aware of other universes out there?

Since you talked about your Raph... Here's THONYS! Raph

THONYS! Raph sees himself as the mature one, the honestly, the sarcasm, the realist of the group always keeping his siblings on a leash. In reality, he's just a mess of anxiety with a lot of big emotions he has trouble regulating.

His anxiety mostly comes from taking care of Donnie and Mikey. Having to decide what's best for them and what will keep them safe. He gets frustrated really easy with both others and himself.

The one most antagonistic towards April and initially against the idea of going out into the world and helping humanity. The beef between them gets resolved at some point, but for the first few weeks? He's glaring at her like an angry dog with a muzzle and she's glaring back.

He's a hopeless romantic who doesn't think he'll find romance being someone like him, a shunned freak, until he meets Mona Lisa.

I'm very sure he'd die of an anxiety attack if he was forced to lead without Leo there.

Refers to Donnie and Mikey with petnames like “buddy, lil guy, champ, etc etc”

Usually listens to Leo's plans but will not hesitate to resort to violence if things don't work out.

[sorcerous-caress]

I also didn’t get the vibe that Astarion was lying it felt like his other genuinely heartfelt moments especially if you follow it with I can’t remember the line exactly but essentially asking if that’s what he did with Cazador’s targets he genuinely seems like he understands what you’re feeling. Also I did the Mizora scene with Gale the first and chose the she manipulated me option because that is how I read it because like she’s a devil and I was so angry that he reacted negatively. Like I genuinely don’t like that that’s a possibility because it doesn’t feel like the character was lying it just feels like they’re being victim blamed by their partner. I did end up letting Gale die in that play through and I haven’t romanced him since I’m bitter

Honestly, Gale reacts in the most childish way, in my opinion. Just straight up slut shaming you.

And sure, she is a devil, but what difference does it make? If a normal human offered to sleep with you and told you not to tell your lover, the companions would also have the same reaction because it's cheating. You were completely sound in mind and body when you agreed to sleep with her. Saying she manipulated you is your character trying to manipulate the person you cheated on, Larian gives you the option to be an asshole always.

Astarion is a great actor, we forget that a lot. He literally lies to drink our blood in act 1, saying he is feeling weak and hasn't had blood in a while which is a huge lie but we don't get to do an insight check for it.

The only way to realise it's a lie is if you play his origin story and find out he had a nightmare about Cazador that day, that the only reason he wanted to drink a humaniod's blood is to prove he is free of Cazador.

Astarion lies all the time. It's just his survival mechanic. No matter how scummy it is at times, I really don't think he was genuine for a single second in that Mizora cheating scene. He has flaws, he doesn't immediately get over his trauma and stops acting in act 3. His past still haunts him, and he still resorts to manipulation when he is cornered.

But no matter how bad the companions' reactions are, they are all justified. It's Tav who cheated. It's Tav who lied to them. Just like you can murder the grove, trade Marina for power, force Astarion to bite that women, you can also cheat on your lover.

Oh, also, this isn't the first time you get to manipulate Astarion, without a skillcheck even. You can force him to bite the drow women in Act 2, then manipulate him into still staying with you in a romantic relationship, saying you didn't mean it. If you pick the right dialogue order.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Moon Rocks

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: Jason accidentally reunites his mother with an old friend after being caught shoplifting.

Chapters: 8/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Catherine Todd, Natalia Knight

Relationship(s): Natalia Knight/Catherine Todd

Additional Tags: No Capes AU, No Powers AU, Angst and Fluff, Old Flames, Romance

Chapter Eight: Perfection

The second time Catherine and Jason saw each other, they went straight to their second session. Jason didn't hug her right away. He didn't say hello or smile. Jason sat in the chair next to Catherine with a look of distress written all over his face. Catherine wrung her hands as she tried to figure out what Jason was thinking. "I'm sorry about your baby, Mom," Jason whispered. Catherine covered her mouth and started to cry just as Miss Candy opened the door. Jason took her hand and squeezed it. "I kind of get why you didn't tell me."

"Is there anything that you want to know?" Catherine asked.

"Were you and Nat girlfriends?" Jason asked. Catherine stood frozen as Jason sat down. She chewed her lip, and Miss Candy asked Catherine to sit down. She sat next to Jason and pulled her hair up.

"No, we weren't girlfriends... But that has a lot to do with why I left," Catherine whispered. Catherine paused for a moment and looked at Miss Candy. "Sorry, we had a difficult weekend."

"No, it's alright. Would either of you like to get into that today?" Miss Candy asked.

Jason looked at Catherine, and she nodded. "I found out that she's not my bio mom... But I'm okay with that. I guess I'm not okay with not knowing anything about my mom," Jason explained.

"You feel as if you don't know Catherine?" Miss Candy asked. Jason's lips twitched into a frown, and he nodded. "You seem uncomfortable with that question..."

"I don't want to hurt my mom's feelings. I love her. I just want to know more about her," Jason replied, "I don't want any more secrets."

"And there won't be, I promise," Catherine replied. Jason tried to smile, but he couldn't.

Catherine felt as if she was holding her breath, waiting for Jason to explode, but he was so calm. She felt like she'd be able to relax once Jason just let himself be angry. "Where would you like to start with Catherine?" Miss Candy asked. Jason pulled a book full of the photos and letters he found out of his jacket.

He pointed to the photo of Catherine and her parents. "Were they bad people?" Jason asked.

Catherine looked at the picture and teared up. "No... They're not bad people. I just didn't really-. They were the perfect parents, and I wasn't perfect. I didn't fit," Catherine explained. She touched the photo, remembering it fondly. "This was a few days before I went to work as a camp counselor. It was my going away party."

"You're not perfect, but that's okay. You know that, right?" Jason whispered. He tried to make her look at him.

"I felt like I was drowning, Jason. It wasn't that I hated my parents or was afraid of them. I just couldn't take the idea of letting them down. It was like a constant weight on me," Catherine explained, "And I don't know, sometimes I feel like you're too good to be my son... All the people in my life are too good for me."

"Catherine, do you feel like you fear failure?" Miss Candy asked.

"I feel like I am a failure... I mean, Jason makes it so easy for me to be a parent, and still, I feel like I'm messing that up," Catherine replied, "And he has every right to be pissed at me, but he never is."

Miss Candy looked at Jason, who'd resorted to hugging his knees for comfort by that time. "I don't want a perfect mom. I want you," Jason mumbled, "I want the three of us to be a family. I don't care about it being perfect, I just want you to be yourself without the drugs..."

Catherine's breath grew short. Jason never talked about her drug abuse. He used every word and phrase he could to talk around it. She nodded as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I just want to give you the world-."

"Mom, you're not listening. I don't want the world. I want you," Jason whispered, "Can you give me that?"

"I can try," Catherine smiled as she reached for his hand. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it before standing and embracing her.

Miss Candy continued to talk with them about their relationship once they calmed, and they spent the rest of the hour discussing their plans moving forward to deal with that specific issue.

At the close of their session, Jason left the office holding Catherine's hand. He stood on the tips of his toes and whispered, "Did you and Nat used to be girlfriends?" Catherine let out a surprised laugh.

"Please start with a smaller question, and no. We were not girlfriends," Catherine answered.

"Do you like women? It wouldn't be weird if you said yes," Jason reassured her.

"Then yes, I do like women... And I have a crush on Nat, but that is complicated and not for you to worry about. You're my only concern-."

"I know, but I mean, if you had to date anybody, I wouldn't mind it if it was her. And I happen to know that she likes you too-." Catherine shushed him. "She does," Jason whispered in his own defense.

Natalia greeted them in the visiting area. As soon as they sat down, Jason reopened the photobook and pulled out a stack of unlabeled photographs. "How come these ones aren't labeled, Mom?" Jason asked. "Who is he?"

Catherine took one of them for herself, and she smiled. "He's my big brother, Jacob Edward Johnson Jr. Eddie," she whispered, "He was my best friend."

"So the little girl in the pictures is you?" Jason asked. Catherine nodded as she looked at a photo of herself and her brother on a train. She could barely see out the window, and he was laughing.

"My parents were so mad at him for this. They had to drive to the next town to get me... He hid me in his luggage," Catherine laughed, "Eddie used to go away a lot, but he always brought me something when he'd come home. Dolls, dresses, puzzles-. I hate that I left him without saying goodbye." Catherine sighed.

"Do you ever miss your family?" Jason asked. Catherine nodded. "Why don't you call 'em?"

"Because they might not miss me," Catherine whispered as she turned her head away. Tears fell from her eyes.

"Mom, at least try to talk to your brother. Maybe he'll understand," Jason replied, "Right, Nat?" Natalia chewed her lip.

[bearpillowmonster]

I'm gonna vent again because I just keep falling into it.

Every day is the same day, but I go to work and resort to making home my blueprint, trying to find a way out. Once I get my current writings done then I'll feel at some sort of peace with having tried. But every day I come home and I go straight for the shower and my dad goes "Who's there?" or something stupid and I get tired of it because it's every damn day and you still don't get the routine? Yeah, it's me, get over it, I'm half naked already by the time it takes you to notice.

I don't say hi because it's like I never left, I live here for gosh sake, it's not like they're gonna throw me a party, it's not like I have any news or conversation, we don't eat with each other or have those pass the salt moments, you saw me 3 hours ago for lunch. But because I didn't fake anything and just said "yeah" my dad thinks he's looking into it and says "well that was a sad yeah." or something along those lines. "Yeah, it's nothing. I don't know what you want." and he digs deeper and he asks if I'm mad. Of course, I wasn't mad before this but pointing it out does indeed make me mad because it reminds me that "oh yeah, there is something going on and I can't do anything to stop it." He pries and has the balls to ask for money all in the same breadth and I just say to leave me alone for a while so I can get over it.

I shower, eat, play a game to get it out, my dad seemed to drop it and show me his plane jpg that he saved on his computer that he was excited about and all isn't so bad...then he comes back and he does that ear grating knock, I don't know how to describe it but you know exactly what it is, it's a classic tune of pop goes the weasel or something I don't know. But I turn because I already know who does that knock and I already know this situation is about to be brought up again. It was.

The thing about someone talking about being angry is that it's not just me having a conversation with you, it's me having a conversation with myself and you at the same time which turns into an internal fight that goes beyond our conversation and I try to decide how to mediate it. "Fighting myself, I always lose" but he says that he has a suggestion and it's a kicker. Whether I considered online dating. And I was like- "yeah". I didn't clarify that I tried very nearly every site without paying and ended up deleting them all because they sucked. Here's just one of them. It wasn't really the way I wanted to go about it anyway, it was more to experience what it was but he ticked that "since I don't go out and do anything." uh, yeah, I just said that and complained that that's part of what's wrong with me and said I don't have enough money to do anything like that to which you responded to give you money. So he says that I'm getting in my own way.

What do you want from me? Now I'm all unsettled again. I flicked it off and said that I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to explain my love struggles or what I really think. I've considered getting a therapist but insurance is a fraud anyway, I don't even know why I have it if I still need-

So I guess premiums don't count? I get all my pills at a discounted price ($60 a bottle which isn't great but better than list 325) so it was either 11+ bottles of pills to finally hit the mark or use the coupon, I couldn't do both apparently to make it count. You see why I get so worked up? That 125 is actually the therapy charge that was supposed to be free for the first visit...I reported it as fraudulent on my card so it might not even stay there. Shouldn't I get rewarded for not getting hurt? Like wtf. Next you're gonna tell me that people in my area are getting hurt more often so my rates have gone up. The therapist wasn't very helpful either, I might've talked about it already, I don't know. Therapy would be a perfect excuse to build up that deductible but-3700 could be used towards so much, I just can't submit to subscribe to anything.

I saw Scrooge McDuck saying that money shouldn't be dormant, it needs to circulate and that's true if everyone does it and I like that theory but where can I put it to work? Where can I spend to make? I don't like gambling and that's basically stocks so...I'm not sure what specifics he had in mind.

[thequietkid-moonie]

S/O is killed out of hate

[ SCENARIO ] [ Thor, Zerofuku, Hades ]

[ Records of Ragnarok / Shuumatsu no Valkyrie ]

It hurt me to write this 😔 anyway, here it is hope you like it! 🤠

Thor

Thor may don't be the best with feelings or to express them, but when he start a relationship with you is because he is sure that he loves you and that he does it with all his being

If you ever have a problem you can always count with him, even when he doesn't fully understand it or when the only thing he can do is hear you he promise to always be there for you, you have Thor's protection without even asking for it

Still, Thor isn't someone possessive or clingy, he loves spending time with you but is okay if you need some time alone or sometimes is him who have things to do that will make him be away for a while, he is still the one of the greatest gods after all

Also, if he knows that you or even him have an enemy that could be dangerous he will give you an bodyguard if is need it, someone that will keep you safe when he can't be by your side, just to make sure

Still, you are free to go wherever you want, so it would in one of those occasions where you were just having a walk alone when someone had approached to you and put an end to your life

Thor will not going to take this well, at first when the news of your murder reach him he really hopes that this is nothing more than a bad taste joke of his brother, he was already looking angrily at the person who had tell him the news, but when the person insisted on it Thor doesn't waste more time and rush to your side, it was obvious how desesperate and furious he was, so much that no one dared to say anything, even stepping aside fearing to get on his way

When he gets where you were he slowly approaches to you without saying a single word, he is just too focused on you, gently caressing you face before holding you carefuly un his arms, hugging you tightly close to him while asking whoever where there what happened, his voice was so intimidating and full of fury that the person it was almost unable to answer

However, if the case is that he was the one who find you his reaction will be a little more aggresive, just by seeing your body on the floor he is shocked, it took him a moment to notice your blood or how you weren't moving (it would be just worst if the bodyguard he assigned to you was death there too), getting back to his senses he rushes to your side, despertly searching for a hint that you were still alive, but your pulse weren't there anymore, he feels so frustrated and angry that he even let go an scream of pain that alertated everyone around

He have to recive help from others to conduce a proper investigation because he can't just bring himself to calm down, he is too focused on his desire to find the culprit and make them pay for what they have done to you. He isn't someone who normally resorts to violence, but this time he isn't going to hold back when confronting the person

When he discover that they killed you because he hated you he will be even more furious, almost unable to hold himself and kill them right there, Thor wants to fight them properly, mainly because he wants to make them pay for what he have done to you, the more the person says the more angry Thor gets (as if he wasn't already angry enough), but it would make things worst for both if the person did it because he hated him instead of you, in that case he will be even more aggresive with them while fighting, calling him coward and saying that he don't deserve to even continue living

However, he himself will be in charge of preparing a farewell ceremony with all the honors, he wants to say goodbye to you properly and thank you for all you have done for him

Zerofuku

After Zerofuku was consumed by the negative feelings he was left behind with nothing more than the hatred he feels and the inmense pain, and still you decided to stay by his side

It doesn't matter too much if you know him since a long time ago or you just met him after he transformed, the important is that you had made your way into his life and heart, showing him the kindness and love no one had show him before, and once he accepted you in his life he wasn't planning to leave you go away, you are the only good thing in his life right now

That is why he had grow pretty protective over you, not wanting to anything bad happening to you, if he ever notice (or you tell him) that other people doesn't seem to like you too much or you even have some enemies he will be even more protective, wanting to be by your side all the time in order to protect you

It was one day that you were alone, maybe you have some things to do and Zerofuku just couldn't be with you right now or just you (or him) need some time alone to relax or think, everything seemed normal, just a pretty day, but while you were busy in your own mind someone came from behind to attack you

By the time Zerofuku had come searching for you that person had already go away, leaving behind nothing but your body. The moment Zerofuku lay his eyes on the escene it was like time stoped for him, unable to move or response to anything just trying to process what he was seeing

When he finally was able to move he screams your name while running to your side, he didn't want to accept that this was real, he was desperately looking for your pulse, some sign that you are still alive, the feeling of your blood in his hands it was unpleasant and the cold of your body scares him

He hate it, he hates you for leaving him, he hates himself for not protecting you, he hates this situation, he has nothing more than hate. He didn't exactly calm down but he does noticed the signs of the murder, it could be the position of the wound or that there wasn't around any kind of weapon, or even signs that you had fought for your life, and with every new sign he discover he just get more and more angry

It doesn't matter much if your death was quickly, that doesn't make things easier for him, but if you had suffer while dying that will make him more eager to find the bastard who had done this

After giving you a proper sepulcher and saying a last goodbye to you he will spend every minute of his life searching for whoever have done this, he has nothing more that his hate again, he has nothing to lose anymore. Even if he part himself before being able to find the culprit that won't stop them to continue with this, he isn't going to rest until he put an end to life of the bastard who killed you with his own hands

He was already planning to make that person suffer for what they did, but when he discover that they had did it because they hated you (or him) and that they even were just glad that you died that will make him more furious and eager to end with their life. He start fighting with them without even a warning and won't stop until his body don't give more, he is planning to let out all his anger and pain against that person, making them suffer until the very end, and even if they die that won't stop him from razing with the whole place until he can't anymore, until he feel like his entire body will fall apart, until he feels like he will pass out and has no more strength to continue

Is until then that he can finally just lay down and quietly cry for his grief

Hades

Hades is a really caring person, and even when he seem really calm he is passionate, he loves you with al his heart and he is willing to do everything in his power for you to be happy

If you ever have a problem he will like to know, he is willing to give you all the time you need to talk about whatever is bothering you, but he wants to know at some point, specially if the problem is with someone specific since he will hate for the problem escalates to a greater one (still he is ready to step in order to protect you if is need it)

Hades isn't exactly clingy nor possessive, so you are free to do and go to wherever you want, but he will like to know what you are into just in case you need his help or just because he cares for you. Although he is a busy man, so he may not be able to spend all the time with you

It was one of those occasions that you two were apart, maybe he was busy or you just wanted to do something alone, either way you being alone gives to however wanted to attack you the perfect oportunity to do so, being quickly and before someone notice it they put an end to your life

His reaction will depend a little for how the situation had happened, but what doesn't change is the feeling of anger and frustration for not being able to help you

If he was the one who had find your body his inmediatly call your name and runs to your side, holding you close to him carefuly and searching for the pulse, just hoping that is still there, it doesn't take him long to accept that you died but that doesn't make things less painful. However, if is one of the guards/servants of the palace who had bring him the news he stops whatever he is doing inmediatly and demand to be lead to where you were, even rushing himself to get there, when he finally get he just slowly walk to your side and carefuly hold you tightly, in both cases even when he knows that you are death deep down he just wants for you to open your eyes, at least once, even if is just for say goodbye

This kind of situation it would be pretty difficult to happen inside of his palace, there are a lot of guard and since it is his domain he has an advantage, still it isn't imposible, so if it was actually on the palace it would make him feel worst, this was supose to be a safe space for you, somewhere you could feel free and secure and still someone had manage to do this. If it was outside of the palace he still feels bad but knows that there wasn't much he could have done for you

He tries to stay clam during all of this, quickly starting to work and ordering some guards to help with the investigation, but in reallity he is just putting his feelings aside in order to concentrate to solve the problem, he will express all his frustration and anger later, right now you are more important

Hades makes sure that, after he end the investigation he makes an special ceremony to say goodbye, he feel like this and finding the culprit is the very least he can do for you, if he wasn't able to protect you as he should be at least he will make things right in your name

Hades is a really good leader and strategist so it won't take him so long to find the culprit of this, and even when he have the bastard who dared to take you away from him he tries to stay calm, wanting to know why exactly they had done this, why they had went against you

Hearing that it was out of hate make him feel even more furious, that person had killed you just because he hated you, he can't comprehend why some one will hate you that much to the point that wanting to see you death. But it will make him feel worst if it was actually because they hated him, if the problem was with him you shouldn't be affected, it anger him that just because some coward that couldn't face him properly you ended like that

Either way, unlike like him, he won't be able to hold himself more and he himself will make sure to make the culprit pay for what he had done, he does it for your honor too

[kining-the-evil]

If you can please , James Wilson Yandere alphabet with M!Reader, Only if u want and can

Yandere James Wilson Alphabet

Warnings: Yandere themes, male reader

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Wilson would want to be really affectionate, but he would be nervous. He doesn’t want to feel any rejection that may come from it. But if he gets the chance he would be holding his darling in some way at all times. And at night he always keeps you tightly pulled to his chest

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Wilson doesn’t want to be violent, but if he feels either of you are being threatened he may get violent. It’s his last resort though. 

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Wilson could not bring himself to be mean to his darling. If you got him angry enough he may yell at you, but he feels bad about it almost immediately

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He wouldn’t like, hold you down but he would manipulate you. In his head, if he can convince his darling it’s your idea then it’s not forcing.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Completely. He would tell you everything in the hope that you would feel empathy for him, but it also makes him feel closer to you.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He would feel awful when you fight back. He expected it, but a part of him hoped you’d except what was happening so it does hurt him.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Not at all. He wants you to stay with him, to eventually love him, and he doesn’t find it funny when you try to escape.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

It would be when you’re arguing with him, and you push him just a little to far. Locking you in the house and disappearing for a few days. You can’t escape, but you’re completely alone.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Wilson would be kinda afraid to imagine a guter with you. His marriages didn’t work out, and he doesn’t want the same thing to happen. In the back of his mind he could see you both adopting a kid, but he knows that would be really difficult so he focuses more on the immediate future.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

He does get jealous, but it doesn’t really make him violent. Instead, he closes himself off and ignores you for a bit. Not as a punishment, but instead it’s from his own insecurities

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

He’s a gentleman. Wilson wants to impress you, and hopes that his kindness will make you love him. As time goes on he’d become more touchy, but he doesn’t just kiss you all the time. Would prefer you initiate that sort of things

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He would start by becoming your friend, trying to figure out if your gay in anyway. After a while he’d approached a romantic relationship, but if you reject him it would destroy him. And even if you don’t reject him, his insecurities will make him really unsure in the relationship

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not really. The biggest difference is he’s more confident in front of others and shows more of his insecurities to you

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

He would deprive you of human contact. If you don’t want him to love you, then you can be completely alone.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

He tries to give you a lot of freedom within the house, but he wouldn’t let you outside at all. You can also lose rights to the point where you aren’t allowed to do anything without him being right there

Patience: How patient are they with their darling

He’s pretty patient with you overall, but he’s almost depressed about your reactions.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Never. He could not move on. His marriages didn’t work, and losing you would be the final straw. To him it just means he isn’t meant to find love

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

He would feel guilty, but he wouldn’t let you go. Sometimes he would apologize to you, but would also defend himself

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

His failures in love in the past would cause a fear of abandonment. The best way to keep you from leaving is to kidnap you and give you no choice.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

It makes him feel bad, and he would give you physical comfort. But he wouldn’t really offer to try and fix it because he knows he’s probably the cause

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Not really. He’s a pretty classic Yandere

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

His guilt. If you attacked it viciously and quick enough he may actually let you go. However, he would regret it immediately and try to test you back as fast as possible

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

The most pain would be a slap if you anger him or rope burns from him tying you up

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He would do just about anything to win you over. You are his everything at this point, and he would do anything to not lose you

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

He could go a few years before snapping, but he’s pretty obviously in love to the point that House makes fun of him about it

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

He could break you. His kindness and dedication could wear you down

[morbiderotica]

bestie (anyone who writes for mello is immediately my bestie) I would LOVE to hear anything you think about dear sweet mihael. like, what's the deal with his relationship with religion? Did he partake in drugs during his time in the mafia? Actually I'd take ANY headcanon about the time he spent between leaving wammy's and when he's introduced as an adult. Did he have a kindred spirits sort of thing with Matt because neither one of them was the best! (even tho mello cared a lot more about it than matt did)? I just want to pick your brain so bad 🥺

─ ★ headcanons ... tw: religious trauma, implied accidental overdose + more.

♡ when he left wammy's he was lost and confused

♡ he practically had everyone telling him he was never going to be good enough and always going to be second to near

♡ he obviously didn't really have anything and often resorted to stealing

♡ sometimes food though most of the time substances

♡ i feel like he just really needed an anchor to lean on so he started praying

♡ at wammys they said a grace prayer before eating meals so he wasn't a stranger to praying

♡ he spent countless nights just screaming at "whatever god was there" trying to get an answer

♡ he prayed and prayed and sought help from any higher up

♡ it drained him so much that he started doing drugs and sometimes even drinking

♡ he was very adamant about not keeping in touch with anyone from wammy's excluding matt

♡ after one too many pills or too many bottles of beer mello was without a doubt calling matt

"it's 4 in the morning, mello." matt paused. "are you okay?" worry overtook his voice and mello could hear the rustling of blankets. "matt." mello hummed with ease, letting the boys name fall off his tongue. "mello." matt sighed. "what is it this time?" he inquired, knowing mello was probably sulking again. "i miss you." he slurred.

"how drunk are you?" matt was growing more concerned. mello expressing his feelings? unheard of. "i can't do this without you." matt could hear mello shuffle followed by the sound of things hitting the floor. "shit." mello bent down to pick up the scattered pills. "mello? what did you drop? pills? i thought you were drinking." matt was now wide awake. "i am." that was enough for matt to forget about his prolonged sleep and find mello as quick as he could.

♡ after that wherever mello went, matt went too including the mafia

♡ mello was very against the idea, obviously not wanting matt to get hurt, but theyre both stubborn assholes so

♡ matt kinda just let mello do his own thing

♡ you know, the usual, popping pills, fucking whoever and whenever, murdering anyone who got in the way

♡ when mello would get "cranky" as everyone would call it, matt would be there right next to him

"you don't have to stay." mello's leg was bouncing relentlessly. "last time i left you alone you fucking-" matt was angry, but not at mello, so he stopped mid sentence, thinking of his next words carefully. "i want to stay... for you." mello nodded. "i get it, you know. so, if you wanna talk 'bout anything, well, i'm all ears." matt didn't get it, but mello accepted his offer anyway.

♡ even though he never got clarity from any sort of god he can't bring himself to stop praying, even after joining the mafia

♡ he prayed day and night, for himself and for matt

♡ the thing that really got him though was when matt died

♡ he tried everything, bargained everything he could, begged for matt's life only to once again not be heard or answered

"mello, whadda doing, we gotta go." matt was getting impatient. "yeah, one sec." his fingers moved from one bead on the rosary to the next, mouthing words engraved into his brain. matt stared silently, watching mello pray. "is this really necessary? i mean you do this every time you have to-" "it's not for me." mello whispered before placing the rosary back around his neck.

─ ★ bonus ...

♡ he tried to get off the drugs and started eating chocolate in place of them

♡ it didn't work

♡ now he's addicted to drugs and chocolate

♡ one time one of the mafia guys punched matt and mello was furious

♡ he tore the whole place apart, screaming, throwing things, and threatening to kill the guy

♡ matt just kinda followed him around aimlessly trying to calm him down

♡ he ended up killing the guy

♡ he tried to find his parents at one point after drinking too much

♡ ran databases and pulled up birth certificates and everything

♡ he cried himself to sleep when he couldn't find anything

i love you /p 😭