theeightforallpracticalpurposes

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

Lily: Oh my God! These guys just shot at me!

Deacon: But you’re bulletproof Lil-?

Lily: Yeah, but I have feelings Deac. Feelings!

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

Julia: I'm gonna need a human skull and you can't ask any questions why.

Maile: As long as you don't ask anything either.

Maile: *pulls out seven human skulls in perfect condition*

Maile: Take your pick.

Julia:

Julia: I'll take that one.

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

Excerpt from the glossary

O’kav’i — Large feline creatures usually 7-9 feet tall and 10-13 feet long. Species is magic and as such their pelt changes hue depending on the creature’s environment. They can settle on a single colour at around 7 years of age but do not always do so. Claws tend to be the colour of precious metals and the eyes have an unnatural glow. Usually found in harsher climates such as the Frozen North, the Bea’lin Desert, and the Valley of the Weeping Stars. Tame-able and befriend-able but difficult to do so. Oftentimes seen as companions to Anonli and ridden into battle with. Each companion is made custom armor fit for individual fighting styles. Live 50-55 years unless blessed to live 70-90 years.

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

Ek’lips: If we wanted you dead, you’d be dead.

Astral: You killed me two days ago.

Ek’lips: Exactly :)

Astral: …

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

In Samoa

Fernando, after seeing a moving shadow and finding a white witch: I’ve connected the two dots!

Rettek: *extremely tired of his crap* You haven’t connected shit.

Fernando: *proudly* I’ve connected them! :)

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

In the Duat bunker training room

Dépit, after getting thrown to the ground by Jimmy: This is a fine example of why you shouldn’t iron a four-leaf clover. Morrigan learned that the hard way.

Cabrera: *extremely confused* What?!

Dépit, smiling like a madman: I believe you mean ‘why’ *pulls out an enchanted broadsword of all things* because you shouldn’t press your luck!

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

Actually. Scratch that. I definitely would have believed them after the stunt Wil pulled in ‘The Island’.

If someone told me before I read ‘The Agency’ that Wil M. M. was going to kill so many of his characters in one fell swoop right after their character arcs I wouldn’t have believed them. But lo and behold, they all get murdered in the most painful way possible.

Wil, you are the reason I have trust issues.

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

If someone told me before I read ‘The Agency’ that Wil M. M. was going to kill so many of his characters in one fell swoop right after their character arcs I wouldn’t have believed them. But lo and behold, they all get murdered in the most painful way possible.

Wil, you are the reason I have trust issues.

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

Astral and Michael: *arguing and screaming*

The ISCID agents inside the protection rune: ._.

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

“The only difference between a hero and a villain is the opinion of the populace on who is right.” —Rettek Paewai

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

“The world doesn’t need a shield or a sword. If it did, we’d be long past screwed.” —Jimmy Craig

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

Drunk Julia at 21 Years Shenanigan Party

Julia: *slamming down bottle of vodka/startling Deacon* THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT ! ENOUGH is ENOUGH

Deacon:

Julia: I'm gonna fight ALL tall people and I'm gonna WIN *spots Rettek leaning against the pool table in the rec center* HEY! PAEWAI! YOU MOTHER FUCKER, GET OVER HERE AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN

Astral: Oh shit Ret, I think you're being propositioned

Rettek: *stomps on Astral’s foot*

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

“You’re a figment of my imagination. You are fictional words given a life of their own. You were created to be a host to one of the most powerful things I could come up with. Therefore you are the one I had the least control over.”

—Maile to Azaria when she asked why all the bad things had happened to them and why them of all people.

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

Astral: How many Julias does it take to change a lightbulb?

Katie: Just one. The real question is: How many ladders does she need?

Julia: [offended noises]

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

Julia: Synonyms are weird because if I invite you to my cottage it sounds nice and cozy but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re gonna die

Katie: my favorite is explaining the difference between butt dial and booty call

Michael: it’s called connotations

Astral: Try this one on for size. Forgive me father for I have sinned. Verses. Sorry daddy, I’ve been naughty

Azaria: Great news! Language is now banned!

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

Azaria: we are gathered here tonight to celebrate the tovoco council.

Azaria:*raises her glass to the he’si* the living.

Azaria:*raises her glass to the window and gestures outside to the glaring tovoco* the dead.

Azaria:*raises her glass to Astral* and the undecided.

[theeightforallpracticalpurposes]

Astral: The best thing about being near immortal is grossly misusing modern slang on purpose and watching my friends die inside.

Astral: For example: I went over to Michelle the other day and said "Man, is that the bae or what?" And the look in her eye is something I will cherish forever.