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Oh? You think the world is full of pain and suffering huh?

Well look into the big, soothing eyes of anomalocaris and maybe you'll stop being such a hateful idiot

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You're not a failure. You're not an awful person. You're not so far behind that everything will fall apart. It's just Wednesday. You're ok. Life isn't a race. Just sit for a minute and be alive.

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don't give up

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"I can't be autistic. I handle school just fine. If I was autistic, I wouldn't be able to handle all that noise and stuff."

Yeah... But how are you AFTER school?

Do you shutdown? Struggle to do homework because your brain can't handle any more input? Are you extra sensitive to smells, noise etc, so that even dinner cooking can smell overwhelming? Do you sleep in on the weekends and want to do nothing whilst your friends are going out and having parties but you can't even shower?

This is called masking. You are surviving school, but nothing more.

*Note: not all autistics can mask. Not all autistics go to standard school. This is just from my POV.

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this isn't linguistics-specific, but it is very important and deserves to be known:

you don't have to have an institutional affiliation to use @jstor.

there is a free option that lets you read up to 100 articles/month online - which is a lot!! and even the individual subscription is only $19.50/month or $199/year as of july 2024, which is leagues better than having to purchase (or in many cases, "rent") articles individually from the publishers.

the only downside to the free account is that it doesn't allow downloads, which is tragic for those of us who enjoy hoarding pdves, but not necessarily a dealbreaker.

i've seen simply too much lamenting about jstor accessibility for non-affiliates. it's there to use!! go forth and inhabit your research rabbit holes!

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English added by me :)

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I need the rainbow trout truck so bad

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One thing I need to work on a lot is time planning. Not time management but planning. I CAN get all the essentials done perfectly fine. But I don't have free time. I work 40+ hours, I'm in lab twice a week with over an hour commute just one way, a pet to care for, a relationship to manage, and a household to keep myself. This obviously leaves very little free time for me and so when free time comes, my burnt out ass just rots (which is perfectly fine and healthy in moderation). And I feel like I'm missing out on so much. I don't go out anymore. I don't go to the gym or on walks or to the beach or library or swim because no time and energy.

I'm working on time planning though now, which to me is very different than time management. Time management is there to ensure you get everything done when needed. That's not the issue. The issue is making time for me and living. That's where the planning comes in. I need to plan events and move my schedule around for ME. Life is so short and needs to be enjoyed. I wasn't put on this earth to slave and make a rich person richer. I was put on this earth to feel sunshine and watch birds and look for snakes and bugs. And now I need to plan time to do those things.

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a quick “why is my life so bad” checklist

how’s your sleep schedule

have you eaten or drank anything besides sugar and caffeine

how long have you been sitting in one spot

have you gone out in public recently

have you taken a shower/brushed your teeth/groomed yourself properly

have you spent time doing an activity that doesn’t involve a screen

etc

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One thing that pisses me off is people seeing fish in aquariums (the establishments, not home aquariums) and being like “It’s so sad because the ocean is so big and the tank is so small and they’ll never know freedom blah blah blah-“ I’m not talking about sharks and marine mammals here but the majority of fish are not at all bothered by being in an aquarium instead of the open ocean. Like, I personally would love to be a little clown fish in one of those big reef tanks. Fed regularly. Whole team of people monitoring my health and well-being. No predators. Medicated if I show signs of illness. Aquarium fish have cushy gigs in comparison to their wild companions.

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the academic urge to run away in the woods once the realisation of exams approaching hits