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Tumblr fuckin jumpscared me by asking what i think of her what the hell who gave her social anxiety

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Cant be afraid of the horror movie monster if I want to fuck it, checkmate, liberals

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*bus stops* me: its so over

*bus starts again* me: we're SO back

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evil boss in video game: No matter how far you come you'll nev-

Me *cutting him off* : how far I cum is NONE of your buisness

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Cute couple tattoo idea, write " I pissed on it so its mine <3" in each other's handwriting on the lower back (tramp stamp)

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Being a lit major is all fun and games until everyone you know is asking you to look iver their cover letters and written assignements

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Introduced my uncle and his husband to Chappell Roan and they immeadiately loved it, she's so universal

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*stays in the Paris restroom for 2hrs to get my money's worth in toilet time* (it was 1€)

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Im so fucking stupud i was making crepes and only had oat milk so i was like omg theyre gonna be vegan!! And then I cracked one of the eggs and i was like, no.. wait a minute

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Hmm.. the rain sounds oustide sound suspiciously like my cat clawing at the screen door so he can go oustide, but it is dark and he is a black cat, no way to tell for sure..

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Someone: hey, what are you doing rn?

Me: Oh, you know, just killing time..

Chronos *lunging at me*: DIE! YOU WRETCH!!

Me*kills him*: He just keeps coming back...

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Now we just watched the scene with cerberus and he first reaction was: OMG its the dog from harry potter!!!

I'm making my sister watch the pjo series, and when Luke said he was a child of Hermes, she screamed: HE'S A BIRKIN!!

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I'm making my sister watch the pjo series, and when Luke said he was a child of Hermes, she screamed: HE'S A BIRKIN!!

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The real fucking reason home alone couldnt happen today is that those robbers should have fucking died from all the traps. They both should have fractured skulls, I do not know why they wanted to get in that house so bad. Aditionally, even if they had left alive, they wouldnt have survived long enough for the sequel, because they would have died from their injuries shortly after leaving the house. In this essay, I will-

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I gotta be extra nice to the teddy bear I crocheted so when he eventually comes to life, he wont be evil and kill ppl

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BBC merlin is just Arthur seeing magic stuff and then Merlin and Gaius gaslighting him into thinkings its just his imagination

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I need to know if 1984 is legit banned in high school in the US cause i grew up in Canada and it was mandatory reading in 12th grade