totallylazystudent

[totallylazystudent]

Not to be problematic, but when My manager says “I’ll take care of it ;)” or “Leave it to me” and does it I’m a bit like

[totallylazystudent]

I feel like my team in my corporate job is the equivalent of the theatre kids in high-school, surely not cool, but we’re somehow having the most fun.

It’s just me (man hating lesbian) my emotional support bald man (post-soviet weeb), the balding man who we bully (Political Theory graduate) and a french girl that hates everyone and everything.

Together we form the anti capitalist front in insider trading the company.

Yes I did talk about love and deepspace in the office. Yes my manager proceeded to re tell all of the 300 something books from memory from skyrim.

[totallylazystudent]

I recently started playing love and deepspace and something that I find very interesting is the idea that mc is representative of the Buddhist idea of samsara.

Disclaimer: I took a minor in theology like 2 years ago atp, so I am not super knowledgeable about buddist lore nor lads lore as I have missed a lot of it through simply not being there as it was unfolding (i started playing like 2 weeks ago). So my interpretation of the plot might be incorrect or my understanding of buddhism might be not accurate)

I will be talking about the main plot of the game so stop reading here if you are not caught up and don’t want SPOILERS

So based on what was revealed by Dimits in the Gaia lab, i believe that MC is actually the embodiment of Samsara. He describes that the power that is within us in coming from the cycle of birth, death, rebirth and redeath of planets which is literally what Samsara is - the cycle of reincarnation.

From the few posts that I have seen making this connection, i feel like it was interpreted in a positive way - love transcending lifetimes or the lads men representing paths to reaching nirvana (enlightenment). However, I’m not sure I’m convinced of this.

In Buddhism, Samsara is considered suffering, it is something you should strive to free yourself from (reach nirvana). In the most traditional sense, to do so, you have to detach yourself from worldly concepts: such as your role in a family (father, mother, child, partner etc), possessions (no favourite spoon 😔) and emotions (and everything that falls in between). Now, when it comes to love in particular, if you can reach nirvana while in love with someone is a bit debated, but what is certain, is that the pain that can come from love is something that prevents you from reaching enlightenment; this can range from heartbreak to possessiveness/jealousy.

Because of this I would argue that the guy’s attachment to MC actually keeps them tethered to the worldly, forcing them and mc to go through lifetimes of suffering. If we consider everything we know of the plot and the myths, the lives they live do not seem to be that fun. From abandonment to torture, things are not great.

This attachment is I believe most obvious in the story of Sylus. If the lore is have learnt is correct - MC and Sylus have shared their souls. Half of his soul is inside of Mc and half of mc’s soul is in Sylus. If this is not the definition of attachment idk what is. And in the initial meeting we can see the suffering, he wants to have the relationship he had with Mc in the dragon myth, but she does not remember it, Not to mention wants to kill him. He tries to force it and it doesn’t work, so he starts approaching her in a more aloof way. I cannot imagine this being pleasant for him, but it’s not like he dan get back half of his soul??

So while I would love to sit here and tell you this story is about love transcending lifetimes, I feel like it’s actually a tragedy. While I cannot tell where the story will go (different type of autism) I actually think the most “happy” ending would be for all of the characters to let go of each other. That would be the only way for them all to reach Nirvana, thus breaking the cycle of suffering, but to do that we would not have a happy ending, in the traditional sense, for any of them, it would be more aching to the ending we saw in la la land.

Anyways, i think this is just me being traumatise by satosugu’s “love is the most twisted curse of them all”

[totallylazystudent]

As I am working in a corporate environment I am finding out that there are only virgins or freaks in the business world.

You’re either a top performer and a virgin or a an okay employee and a freak.

Pick your poison I guess: upwards mobility or sex?

[totallylazystudent]

Growing up into a man hating lesbian™️ is realising that the girls from Lobelia academy were kinda based

[totallylazystudent]

My male coworker keeps telling me (not male) that I’m “actually smart” and I can’t tell if he’s making fun of me (mean), teasing (friendly) or (secret third option) negging me.

I have too much of a litlle bit of the tism to tell - Pls help

[totallylazystudent]

Work has gotten so boring I started listening to yagami yato again just so I could feel something

[totallylazystudent]

Today my coworker told me she suggested the VP in the company I work in sell feet picks for extra cash. We are not a small company he does not need extra cash. However, she has a foot fetish and a massive crush on him.

I will leave to you to make your own conclusions.

[totallylazystudent]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[totallylazystudent]

movie vs book (i adore them both) 

[totallylazystudent]

the fact I didn't even noticed this

[totallylazystudent]

ok you know that ‘make the princess laugh and you can have her hand in marriage’ thing?

imagine so many come in.

they try, so hard, to make her laugh.

she just sits there, morose, ignoring every man who tries to coax a smile.

one day she’s sitting on the balcony. she just looks so sad.

of course that little thief tries to make her smile.

a girl who goes through the (semi public) royal gardens every day to pick flowers, even though technically only the royal family is allowed to do that. 

she sees the princess while she’s picking them up to sell on the streets, and she’s just… so sad. this princess needs someone to cheer her up.

and she tries. she’ll do silly dances when she comes in, she’ll bring up frogs from ponds and act out comedies, she’ll make flower crowns and exaggerate just how hard it is.

the first few days, the princess doesn’t even look at her.

then she starts noticing. this girl, trying so hard to cheer her up. she probably hasn’t even heard of the hand in marriage thing, she doesn’t know she’s trying so hard for nothing.

but she does it anyway.

one day, the princess starts talking to her as she does these things. “You do know that it’s useless?”

“What?” the thief says. “No way! I’m going to get you to laugh!”

“The best jesters in the kingdom have tried, don’t bother,” the princess declared pessimistically, staring down at the girl.

Then the thief puffs out her chest, “Of course I am! I’ll find the best jokes, even better than the jesters have found! I’ll… fight a fire breathing dog for them!”

There’s no laugh, but the corner of the princess’s mouth twitches. it’s sad how she thinks she can make me laugh…

the girl keeps trying, for years, making more silly stories and trading flowers for jokes rather than food or money. the princess slowly realizes the girl is getting closer and closer, asking her for responses in knock knock jokes and encouraging her to speak when she wouldn’t respond immediately.

the princess eventually had the girl hanging from her balcony, holding on tight to the rail and feet wedged between the columns, grinning and telling yet another iteration of that already old chicken joke.

the princess has been smiling, slightly, but she mostly just looks unresponsive. the girl is happy, it’s better than looking so sad, like she had been years before.

the girl moves on to puns, pointing at the exotic lunch the princess was eating. “Why do the melons have to go to get married? They cantaloupe!”

“You only know that word because of me,” the princess snarks, but there’s a small smile there, a bit of happiness. This little flower girl, this thief has grown into an amazing friend, a wonderful person who genuinely just wants to help. she doesn’t know of the deal, only nobles and jesters could know, not the commonfolk.

“Well, it makes quite the pun,” the girl says, proud of her joke. a smile! what an accomplishment!

“Say…” she continued, “What would you call a princess who got swept up in conversation a thief?” she pulled a flower out of her pocket, waving it in front of the princess’s face. the princess’s eyes crossed to see the flower before they rolled at the obvious setup.

though, it was interesting that it obviously involved them.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, sighing in preparation for another horrible pun. “What?”

the girl grinned. “A pretty theft!” she exclaimed, ticking the flower against the princess’s nose.

the princess froze for a moment, stunned. she had been complimented a million times over, called graceful by etiquette instructors, been called beautiful by many a suitor, been called wonderful by her mother before… she stopped thinking about that. 

she had never been called pretty.

she burst into laughter at the commonplace compliment, as if she was some sort of milkmaid who had somehow grown up to be good looking! it was ridiculous, the notion, yet somehow it had her blushing all the same.

then she suddenly stopped, realizing what she’d done.

the flower thief was staring at her in amazement, a blush of her own speckling her cheeks. her flower tilted out from in front of the princess’s nose, as if it had it’s own amazement.

“Wow…” the girl breathed. she’d never heard something so beautiful in her life.

The princess was silent, knowing what she had just done. She had just laughed for the first time in years.

The girl may not have been aware of the arrangement, but she was quickly swept up in it. A maid had heard the laughter and burst in, to find the thief and the princess, caught up in each other’s eyes, reveling in what had just happened.

The wedding was beautiful, a flower filled affair, a wonderful nod to how it happened. The king was so happy to see his daughter with someone who made her smile for once, tearing up as they were wed.

The princess’s laugh was still incredibly rare. She still had a hard time smiling. But a well timed joke from the girl– no, her wife– and another flower that had a hidden meaning behind it, than maybe, maybe you would hear it.

After all, the princess had finally laughed with the one she loved.

[totallylazystudent]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[totallylazystudent]

[totallylazystudent]

Taking bets on if Bucky admits he’s in love with Steve he’ll suddenly be forced to pole dance into super hell and join castiel and lil nas x

[totallylazystudent]

I’m a lesbian now.

Debates and crushes

My coach, that I really like and confessed to, is annoyingly nice. Like he rejected me in the sweetest way and after that said that we can talk about it a bit later if I wanted (whitch we did. We hugged at the end and he said that I’m a wonderfull person that will find someone) and he continued to be just as nice to me as he was before.

A few months ago we went on a trip together and he let me sleep on his shoulder and in other instances he slept on mine. We bonded a lot and had a good time.

Now at camp, we had a few workshops. In one of them he was the one teaching. We had some practical exercises, were I was forced to present in front of everyone. After I was done presenting and got my feedback he gave me the sweetest and softest smile. (I wish I could permenantly live in that moment or have that memory tattooed in my brain forever). On another instance he sent me a bunch of flying kisses when he saw me sitting on a bench outside during a break after that, our other coach ran up to us and he followed. They told me I looked pretty and I instantly combusted.

And just in general he’s so soft. His hugs are the best. He holds me as if I’m so fragile that if he squeezed to hard I’d break but if he let go to fast and wouldn’t hold me I’d fall and shatter. AND HE SMELLS SO GOOD. It’s like putting on an over-sized soft sweater in early autumn when it’s chilly and you just wanna be comfy.

This is unrelated but his hair is softer than the finest silk, and his hands are like the smallest pillows (but big and long ;D) and if you ask him to lead you (by holding your hand (there was a thing where he did that to me, too lazy to explain)) he holds your hand as if you’re a princes and makes sure that you are okay.

He’s like a disney prince every single person dreams of dating. He’s EXTREMELY smart, a feminist, a liberal, pro-choice, isn’t homophobic or rasist and is tall and pretty, and the nicest person I’ve met in my entire life. The softest boye.

And today was the last time that I talked to him. Since he’s starting uni next year and he won’t be coaching us next year…

Maybe it’s a good thing, I’ll get over him more easily and fastly. But On the other hand, I’m losing a person that helped me a lot in the past few years.

So I’m sitting here, crying for the 4th time today over this, sad, confused, but odly calm.

I really hope he achieves everything he ever dreamed of.

[totallylazystudent]