wunderpaw

[wunderpaw]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[wunderpaw]

I look at my life and I feel wronged.

Maybe by myself, maybe a parent, a friend, a government, genetics?

Whatever it is 

Doesn’t matter unless you can change it

Because this emptiness doesn’t go away like it’s nothing does it?

Even though that’s exactly how it feels

All you can do is hope

In a better future

A better life

Maybe full of love

That everything you lack will will emerge

Even though I’ve done nothing to achieve it

Because achieving it takes energy I don’t have

Maybe I never had it to begin with

Maybe I’ve been wronged

[wunderpaw]

Hello there, darling, I miss you more than anything I could. I miss the earth less than I miss you, though the task here is not to miss everything, since the earth left me behind, my body remains, refusing to die, it refuses to let me go as I float in the dark. Perhaps I am dead. Perhaps my life in death is the same as a death that ended my life. It’s strangely comforting, everything is gone. Think about it though; no more late night arguments about where to eat, no more worrying when I get home way later than I said I’d be, No more pain. No pain besides missing you. But I never deserved you to begin with. I hope you can forgive me for leaving. I miss you.

[wunderpaw]

Thinking about Paladins...

Thinking about Oath of Devotion Paladins, and how over time they seem less and less like flesh and more and more like stone, as solid as their oaths. How more and more it seems like a light shines from their eyes. How their movement slows as they get older, becoming more and more a thing of stone and light. How they become less a person and more an idea, a promise made flesh. When they die, they become a statue with burning light where their eyes once were. Many take their final rest upon seaside cliffs, acting as an eternal beacon to those in need.

Thinking about Oath of the Ancients Paladins, and how the grass they tread upon might grow a bit greener than it did before. How fruit tastes sweeter when they pluck it. How vegetables and grain grow from the blood and bodies of their slain foes. Life springing from bringers of death. How when they bleed, seeds and pollen might release from their wounds along with the blood. How their skin feels more like bark as they grow older. How their presence feels like peace, like rest. How when they die, the Oak Father takes this warrior into his embrace, and a fruit tree grow over their grave, so they might give once more in death as they did in life.

Thinking about Oath of Vengeance Paladins, and how their mere presence might inspire fear and truth. They barely need to ask questions, one look at those eyes, filled with wrathful calm in equal measure is enough to break almost any who look upon them. How their blood might literally boil when it is spilled, so true is their commitment. How they might weep when they are given the chance to at last be kind. How when they die there is nothing to bury, the fire in their souls fueled by their oath consumes their flesh at last, and then they are nothing but ash.

Thinking about Oathbreakers. How the sun is too bright, and it hurts their eyes. How the night is too dark, and always their vision is off. How their hands always find thorns or sharp edges. How every step they take might be an agony, a reminder of how they committed the truest and most fundamental treason of all. How the very air they breath seems to cut at their lungs as the world itself whispers "wrong thing. wrong thing. traitor" in their ears. Their blood never seeps into the ground, only evaporates. Their body does not even rot. The world itself rejects them.

Thinking about Paladins...

[wunderpaw]

jmart is codependence by circumstance to me, and I 100% agree fanon Martin is a huge mischaracterisation. That being said, I’m also with you on exploring the canon-accurate relationship there — what does it mean to be clinging on to each other as a last-ditch effort to keep a semblance of humanity?

Jon is with Martin because Martin keeps him grounded. Martin only likes the "human" part of Jon - the part he can easily wrap his mind around - and so belittling the "monster" part of the man is no problem to him. Without Martin, Jon would've succumbed to avatarhood wholly. With Martin "keeping him in check", he's only toeing the line and can be (harshly) pulled back a bit, if necessary.

Martin stays with Jon because it offers him protection. Without Jon, he would be likely to succumb to his own little Lonely domain (which we get a brief view of). It's also stated that by staying with Jon, Martin is shielded from the physical aspect of the horrors - he's still scared by them, but they cannot hurt him or wound him, and so he can walk freely through the Fearscape in the role of a viewer. It's the best case scenario for him.

Also, by staying with Jon, who is by default more monstrous than him, Martin gets to reassure himself - by looking at Jon being very far gone, he feels more stable in his own slowly deteriorating humanity (he's ashamed and afraid of the fact that he, too, has a domain, which makes him the perpetrator following the Fear-infested world logic - he cannot bear the thought of being just as harmful as the other avatars, who he deems terrible monsters that should be killed)

They don't have many other reasons to stay together, because they simply hadn't had the time to get to know eachother as people outside of their grotesque eyepocalypse hiking trip in which Jon is actively being consumed by an eldritch being.

In the half an episode we got of them pre-apocalypse, their relationship seems to have had only started blossoming. There is nothing more than the usual kind exchanges between two friendly people. It's a nice beginning for something bigger, but it certainly isn't love, not at that time.

After the apocalypse starts, there is suddenly a lot of weight put on their bond - they are quite literally the only ones left. They cannot afford to be casually lovey-dovey when their wellbeing and sanity are at stake.

Had each of them been on their own, I'm sure that witnessing the sufffering of countless people would have its effect on their mental health; it's also very likely that they would've turned into avatars of their own. By staying together, they are also distracting eachother from the horror surrounding them.

Their days are spent walking through fear-filled landscapes, not to mention that each of them has to deal with their own problems - Jon has suddenly found himself in a position that makes him both very powerful and very fragile, and Martin is fighting off his desire to isolate himself and his fear of Avatar-Jon. Every time they say "I love you", all I can hear is "please don't leave me".

[wunderpaw]

[wunderpaw]

They were wrapped around eachother after that night of drinking Like a car wrapped around a tree after a night of drinking

And they used to love eachother like the alcoholics loved a night of drinking

They toasted to the past with glasses that would soon make them forget And make them repeat the same mistakes they'd sworn off like an addiction you just can't kick

He loved how he made him lightheaded And hated the headache he was the next morning

But that didn't make him quit

[wunderpaw]

Get control grouped

[wunderpaw]

Loss of loved ones

rb with your most common recurring theme in your nightmares. mine is pregnancy

[wunderpaw]

Yes, your honor. The dapper fella attacked me, came out of nowhere but boi they had style

Tonight I am Searching for An Image that May Very Well Change My Life

[wunderpaw]

And people believed he was once straying from the billionaire norms

[wunderpaw]

The road to ruin is paved with capitalism

[wunderpaw]

Is marital sex union busting?

Why did Elon Musk divorce his wife?

He heard marriage is a union.

[wunderpaw]

The spotlight wants me yet the bright light makes me sneeze.

[wunderpaw]

As I stray and I stumble and I wander through fog

With the calling of men at my heels

With the shouting in rage and the howl of their hounds, I run

The shrubbery cuts through the skin on my face as I'm blinded by red

Now left to wonder if this rage is my own as the blood in my eyes Or this rage like the rest was was give by my persuers

If I run I can beat them at this game that they're playing

Or perhaps I should never have started

I'm getting tired

And they're catching up

[wunderpaw]

Reach for the blade that is no longer there.

Try your hand at the task you won't set To the place you can't find With the ones you don't know And the hope you don't have

Reach for the blade that was broken last week With the hand that was broken today

Unearth all the tunnels you could not explore No matter how often you tried

Reach for the blade that was lost long ago As you lose yourself in your thoughts

Because you don't know what you'd find deep within when spelunking your brain

Shout at the stars for the love that you've lost

You may never find it again

[wunderpaw]

and 3) my former companions are not worthy of their shards

god dammit, just battled an ancient evil too powerful to defeat alongside my heroic allies and now they're all talking about "locking it away" and "binding it in a vessel" we are soooooo fucked