#excuse my grammar

[vivianthepigeon]

Tim: “I need to tell you something”

Bruce: “What did you do??”

Tim: “when Alfred was doing our taxes he noticed a missing check”

Bruce: “what did you do???”

Tim: “Before I answer do you trust me enough to understand that it was for a good reason and just leave it at that?”

Bruce: “What. Did. You. Do.”

Tim: “it’s all Jason’s fault! He is a BAD person, I’ve been telling you for years!”

—————

Bruce to Jason: “WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Jason: “okay now before I answer that-“

Bruce: “just tell me whatcha did”

Jason: “I got a DUI”

Bruce: “Jason!”

Jason: “it’s not as bad as it sounds”

Bruce: “How is driving drunk not bad???”

Jason: “I wasn’t exactly driving”

Bruce: “I don’t follow.”

Jason: “I was at the bar with Damian and I had a few”

Bruce: “DAMIAN?!”

—————

Damian: “With God as my witness I’ve never been to that bar in my life.”

Jason: “He knows.”

Damian: “Oh I’ve been there a bunch”

[ghostbny]

Hope i'm not late💪

[housetenisballs]

House before meeting wilson to me is like the popular smart guy who's kind of an asshole, has so much rizz and yet has never in a serious relationship or had any interest in people –until wilson. Wilson is 1 in 3000 who managed to catch Gregory House's interest. He's naturally a curious person, but with wilson, for some reason, he's so invested. I think house is aware of his attachment to this guy who's seemingly the opposite to his personality yet the only one who gets how his brain works. In the Repression MD show, we know they have Issues™ though from what i see house is more likely to be aware of his attraction to the same sex than wilson. He never blatantly denies he's not straight. So at a fundamental level, although he doesn't have a name or doesn't want to give it a name, House is aware that he feels something about wilson that he never felt about anyone like that before. And i know it's a bit reductive to describe their relationship using tropes but house is in a he fell first kind of situation. I just can't stop thinking about house & wilson's getting to know each other phase because i can imagine the repressed sexual tension in their interactions must've been sooo suffocating that even strangers suddenly need a breather whenever they're around. 

[9474s0ul]

Seeing how jellyfish are people, which makes that not equatable to Chao, why not make the Chao in the splatoon AU sea slugs or something? It's already a canon fact that sea slugs are kept as pets, so why not carry that over?

I went along with this decision because the Jellyfish are well-known to live amongst the inklings/octolings. Obviously, they aren't considered pets, but both happen to appear in games as shopkeepers/NPCs. Also because they're both freaking cute.

It’s kind of hard to determine what species are considered pets in Splatoon since most sea creatures have evolved and now have normal lives as people. I could, of course, slap any creature as "Chao" and just go with it. But what species would that be?

Shiver has a pet shark named Master Mega. Meanwhile, the Bottom Feeders has a member who is a shark named Jawn??? WHAT-

Obviously, there's Little Buddy and Agent 3, but I don't want the Chao to represent Smallfrys/Salmonids since they are the main antagonists of Salmon Run.

Anne, Flow (who is a sea slug..), and Harmony have creatures that coexist on their heads because it associates the symbiotic relationship between both species. I made most of the Sonic characters to be cephalopods because they are the main playable species of Splatoon.

Anyways, uh, "Where exactly does Chaos fit in this situation, is he also a jellyfish?" idk. "Is he the Great Zapfish since Knuckles protects it??" idk. "Who are the idols?" Chaos.

[hauntingyouwithpjo]

Hear me out

An au where it’s Poseidon x sally x amphirite in the beginning so when Sally’s pregnant she has no idea who the child belongs to

When Percy gets claimed there’s a trident representing the underwater royal family so he still stays at cabin 3

And the quest goes the same until percy gets to Olympus and Zeus asks if he’s Poseidon’s kid and he’s just like

“Kind of? I mean, I’m either his stepson or his kid so..”

So they bring Apollo to make a godly dna test and turns out he’s the child of both and Percy doesn’t give a shit he’s just trying to figure out how Apollo did that “weren’t the gods the ones with no dna?”

So now Apollo thinks he might be a godling when he’s older because instead of being 3/6 godly he’s 4/6 godly and if he lives long enough he might be a god

So yeah that’s what I thought at 3am yesterday (today?)

[starchyeah]

Some stuff from Nate's livestream (25 Sep 2023) for anyone missed it. I tried to remember as much as I can, but I probably missed a lot too, so dont quote me on this. Please correct me if I got something wrong.

• Listening to the whole album, Nate point out some part that he likes from each songs

• Ghost town have Live long enough to be a hero in mind (he points out how you can hear the melody of it in ghost town)

• Talk about guitars while listening to Crawling in Circles (He have more than 12 guitars)

• About tour, he said he is officially... thinking about it (not a promise, and its probably going to be short)

• He doesnt like doing promo

• Talks about the new tattoo (its also his favourite tattoo so far)

• Someone ask about getting tattoo of his lyric, he said to go for it, but always be careful when getting tattoo revolving internet personality since we see people turns out to be awful, though his unpopular opinion is that a lyric that means a lot for him will still means a lot for him regardless how the creator are

• He and chat joking about he have murder room

• Talk about some company that want to buy out his old songs, then about how is it being indie artist, youtube algorithm, The Hack™, etc

• He said Tidal is a good streaming services to support artists

• Someone ask about AI voice, he said he know there are two with his voice but its not that similar.

• Someone ask about who's some songs are about, he answered "who knows", mod deleted the question, Nate said thats unnecessary. He said the songs can be about anyone people interpret it, floodgates was about his wife for him because its a nice song.

• Talk about genius got some of his lyric wrong.

• He shows a painting that was the background for the album cover (he paint it himself)

[fishingonurano]

As an ex-genshin player who quit because Paimon was extremely annoying (plis don't eat me over this), seeing Dan Heng and March 7th with the MC is so endearing to me, they play off of eachother really well and it feels extremely natural compared to the former.

I also really don't know where to put this but I like how the MC has such a neutral palette on both genders, because on Genshin I always felt like Lumine was coded as the abyss princess due to her colour palette being so cold compared to Aether's.

ALSO LIKE THEY CAN TALK and I shouldn't be overly excited about this but Genshin made me feel like the MC was so inconsequential to other characters, with the exception of maybe Albedo, even so I haven't been able to stomach playing the game since inazuma (sorry guys. I tried).

Ik I'm like Byleth trash but FE3H is a complete game where self-insertion is kind of the point while Genshin's story clearly begs for you to believe that the MC you picked is a nuanced person.

I love Stelle and Caelus both of them have such a charm that even when most of their dialogue is there for the player to choose it has a certain consistency to it that makes them feel like a character on this world rather than an omnipotent force on it that should be worshipped, thanks to the other members of the cast reacting positively or negatively to how rude or strange your choices are, even if it might be a slight deviation it feels natural unlike GI.

I know the game is on its early stages for me to claim it's a masterpiece and I too would be lying if I said I wasn't this excited for Genshin back when it released, however looking back I can't unsee some flaws on the first two chapters of the game, what I'm trying to say is, go try HSR if you haven't yet, and keep loving Genshin, this in no way of form is me hating the game it's just me getting off my chest some things that truly have been bothering me for almost two years now.

[cheekyb4lls]

thank you to a twitter post in my feed saying how lost is like sdr2 by a user with a reigen pfp for making me watch lost

[a-little-vod-and-loki]

I feel like baby is probably a boy because usually there are tells if its a girl visually (bows, pink, etc) and we didn't hear anything about that but maybe they're just being more gender neutral with the clothes?

Maybe, yeah. I assumed it was a girl because of how Zawe was carrying (I don't have kids, so I wouldn't really know, though), but it could be a boy. But as you said, they could be gender neutral with the clothes.

I mean, Tom is out there probably dressing them in a blue jumper 😪🤧

ALSO YOU'RE MY FIRST REAL ASK SO THANKSSSSS

[houseofmad]

0.00 - Impossible Dreams (II)

Kneeling down so her midnight eyes were at eye level with his copper ones, the woman, he knew her, her name was at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t speak, her golden hair was long, each lock dipped in a curl at the end, shifting slightly like velvet against her pale blue dress that exposed her skin immodestly and yet not inelegantly.

Alaya.

Her colors were displaced against the scenes of the blazing past. Somehow though, she did not seem out of place from it all. The starry eyes that usually was still like a quiet night, moved in motions like a stream of the Milky Way.

“Shirou,” she said a name he had yet to known. Her hands on his warm hoodie. “No, I suppose that’s not right. You don’t have a name yet.” She said this in sadness, “Do you recognize me?”

Angr——

He did.

He didn’t.

He couldn’t voice either and just stared at her, lifelessly.

This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. Kiritsugu should’ve came. The dream should’ve ended. Wasn’t it better though, that it had not gone the way it did? If the dream had ended then he would be alive. He would need to repay everyone who died when he didn’t.

“No. I suppose you don’t. We’ve yet to meet properly. That won’t be until…another decade.”

That wasn’t——

Her words were a befuddled mess in his brain. He didn’t know her. He was certain of that. But he was also certain he would meet her, not in a decade, further than that. It must have been further. Somewhere at a reactor——the Grail——he didn’t know her.

The woman laughed softly despite the cries of pain around them. “Oh…I don’t know what to call you. It really is as troublesome as you will say. Haah…well, he should’ve came here. He would’ve given you a name later, I think.” She placed her hands on his shoulders gently, and it eased the fire around him until it felt more comfortable, like a hearth at a fireplace. “May I call you Shirou?“

Somehow he knew it was not his name, but it was and so he nodded. The woman seemed delighted at that.

“Haiii, Shirou~ i need you to come with me. It will be safer.” Without waiting a reply, she took his small hand in hers and began to lead him away from the destination he had intended to go to. Away from the Grail oozing a darkness that kept beckoning him over.

They were walking in the opposite direction, walking towards their burnt corpses, towards death had left behind. The pleas and cries of the people drowned out the crackling flames, the many feeble voices blended in a chorus of agony and despair, a fact of the dream he didn’t remember, but nowhere in sight were there the bodies and corpses that he had left behind, and the feeling of his own worthlessness was beginning to cease. Not in some surmountable sense that was needed for his own good, it was simply a matter that his feelings of the entire predicament were absolutely meaningless.

As the two walked on, her hand clutching his tightly, he realized that the destroyed city and the park, the scenario forever burned in his mind had changed. The black waterfall still poured behind them, each step they took still passed by the burning demise of another, a sunset color scenario still played out—except he didn’t feel emptiness, nothing, he didn’t keep wandering those flames for no reason, he didn’t walk on because he was a corpse that had naught but it’s functions mechanically moving.

He kept on walking because he had to. Another one died, so he had to protect someone else, so that more people wouldn’t die.

Who?

There was no time to feel remorseful for those that lost their lives. No time to grieve, he just had to keep walking. Not to live, for someone else to live—he didn’t want this though. This was not living. It was a mere survival of someone else in the devastation of another.

This was the ideal. This is what he was protecting.

Who’s ideal though? His or Kiri—

No, this was wrong. This was not what he wanted. This was not what it meant to be a Hero of Justice. He wanted to run away. The hand that gripped his he wanted it to let go—this was hers. This was her world. How could she walk away from all those that needed to be saved? Why wasn’t she saving them?

Who?

Alaya.

The woman’s hand tightened over his small one. The embrace was tight and firm, comforting and still he couldn’t feel any of it. It was as if her very form was disappearing.

The Will of Humanity to live, an unconscious collection of humanity’s will but what happens when people give up that will to survive, to live?

The heat from the flames began to lighten, and a cold breeze blew. It did nothing to cool him down from the fire, no spark of life could be created from the cold nor could the cold blow out the spark that kindled forever. If anything chills ran down his entire body.

Before he knew it, they had stopped right at an entrance to the same fire they left behind as if it was an endless loop.

Wake up!

The woman took a shaky breath, laughing inappropriately in the face of death and destruction, not an unkind or sadistic one but a gentle one, almost pitying to someone. “Hey, Shirou,” she murmured, stepping in front of him and lowering herself to the ground so she could gaze into his eyes. “Can you do me a favor?”

Her voice was so torn and broken. He wanted to do something. He wanted to save that despair—he wanted her to smile and cry like Kiritsugu Emiya had done, how he should’ve done.

“…”

She must’ve taken his eerie silence as an affirmation. “I want you to close your eyes. Don’t open them. No matter what you hear or see. No matter what you feel or don’t. Don’t open your eyes, can you promise me that?” The blonde woman’s hands ran down the length of his arms, gripping onto his hands as if they were a lifeline.

“…Why…?” his small fractured voice spoke without reason.

The question seemed to surprise her, and she laughed lightly. “Because there are bad things up ahead, there is a lot of…” and her head turned to the side as if she heard someone calling her name.

What was her name?

Lave—

Angra Ma—

“There are dead bodies,” he muttered in answer for her.

That brought her attention back to him. Silent, but she nodded solemnly. “Yeah, yeah, there’s a lot of those. There’s a lot of bad things up ahead, so please close your eyes.”

“…But I’m used to it,” the boy who would be Shirou Emiya replied, “I’m used to seeing dead bodies.”

“…!” the woman looked at him in rueful guilt. “I guess you are…” her pale fingers tightened over his own, “But Shirou…just because you’re used to it, doesn’t mean it’s okay.”

He didn’t understand. How could it not be okay? Was it not better for one who knew about the dead to deal with the dead?

The woman must’ve seen his lifeless look at her emotions. “Shirou, things that are broken and incomplete don’t always have to be that way. One day you’ll understand—there’s time to heal, room to recovery. Now until you understand, I want you to close your eyes and keep moving forward. No matter what.”

Her fingers moved to his eyelids to close them as if he was a corpse afraid of the future from the past events that had taken place. Her hand fell in his again, and she led him forward, passed the entry point.

The boy could not feel anything except for the hand that held his, and even that was fading. There were sounds though. Someone was crying. Prayers, wishes, regrets, a devastating acceptance to the horrors that waited beyond that darkness, however none of them mattered because neither of the two stopped to heed any of those human emotions.

How long they walked, how long those sentiments went on was unknown to him. Eventually though, he realized the hand in his hand had vanished, along with it was the feeling of absolutely nothingness as panic set in. Fear, panic, illogical emotions took hold of his heart, and he forgot the words she said to him.

It was not fear for himself though. Not for the loneliness the woman had left him, it was fear that she had disappeared right in front of him, and again he had been powerless to do anything.

“Lavenza!” he shouted, forcing his eyes open. His voice was no longer that feeble lost boy’s but slightly older, a time from when he had formed a contract with someone. When his life had changed, but which change? “Lavenza!”

The fire and warmth gave way to a darkness that he didn’t recognize. A darkness that spew chaos, from behind the Grail continue to flood the hellfire scape below, and to the right he saw the aftermaths of a tsunami—the sunset colors of death were now a muted gray, damp and littered in debris, pieces of wood and more bodies. People were crying, screaming, there were noises coming from all directions and despite the bodies, there were no people but the shadows they left behind in despair. And to the left of that disaster was another. A hill made up of corpses, crimson and darkness mixed in, the emotional turmoil of someone else’s failure to save their country. The bodies freshly slain, the bodies disappearing in ashes as time kept on moving and yet remained forever at that single moment where the young girl mourned the lives of her people and country, where a singular wish created from the powerlessness and anguish of the events that unfolded led the girl to make a foolish contract.

Arturia…?

Who?

King Arthur, a fairytale legend renown to many, and yet nothing but an ideal. A stranger he never met and one he knew well—she was the girl that ran around Fuyuki with him.

Fuyuki was destroyed though by the shadows that crawled out of that black hole.

“…Saber…” he breathed. He wanted to call out to her. He wanted her to hear his voice.

No, this wasn’t right. This illusion, it wasn’t real. He needed to find someone; he needed to get out of here. He needed to wake up.

Hesitating, he closed off the memories and paved forward, rushing along disaster after disaster as the bodies piles. “Lavenza!”

Shirou kept calling that name to silence. No one he knew had that name, and he no longer knew who he was calling to or whom he was calling for.

He was lost.

Somewhere in the rubble of destruction, somewhere in some disaster or another and no matter how many people he tried to help they turned to dust within his hands and he watched them wither away to new calamities.

He didn’t save anyone.

There wasn’t anyone to save.

And yet people kept dying.

Eventually after running along cataclysm after cataclysm, he saw a light—blinding like the sun but no sun shined in this nightmare. He followed the light though because without answers and nowhere to go, he had to go somewhere.

The light was blue, soft and brilliant, yet there was no feeling of warmth or coldness, it was just another illusion. Except each step he took to follow the light, the scenario gave way to red metal and before he knew it was a familiar scene that he knew or would come to know.

“Alaya…” he whispered, and he reached out a hand towards the blue light—towards a hopeful star that was summoned upon the calls of despair.

A familiar yet distance memory, he knew it all too well.

“Hey,” someone grabbed his shoulder, and when he whipped around to face the person, he found the loud screams and cries had disappeared into the night. It was as if they had never existed, rather the soft howls of the wind filled the void. The fiery colors of red and orange, a reflection of the blue star, all gone save for the burning white of the flames that now blended in the dark sky as twinkling stars. 

[pagtingin13]

it was kinda a low blow, a below the belt or so they say but if that's the one thing that will keep him away. i would've done the same thing over and over again. i might have been insensitive but it's the only thing i can do. the least thing i can do. staying across the line. it was always like this keeping everything by the borderline. always drawing the line. always reminding him and putting a barrier to the stupid the relationship... it's not even a relationship to begin with. it's just a something. a somewhat. a thing that we couldn't put a label. a could have been. a should have been. a would have been. something so delicate. to the point of no return that if we keep pretending and keep playing in that game. we will lose. lose in a thing that haven't even started yet. i would've lost myself in the process. maybe, i already lost myself... lost in this spiral that i don't know, we don't know.... where the destination is. one after the other the paper cuts that i have given to you became a scar that is engraved on your soul. a scar that will always hunt you wherever you go.

[vivianthepigeon]

Bruce and his batbrats

Edit: fanon Bruce

[devasdiary]

Courfeyrac is definitely that type of friend who would scold you like he was an old ass man while he is actually 3 years older than you only

Inspired by this part of the brick :

At times, Courfeyrac folded his arms, assumed a serious air, and said to Marius : 'You are getting irregular in your habits, young man.'

Vol.IV - Book.VIII - Ch.III

[zukkacore]

[alison bechdel voice] it’s like a 1950’s lesbian pulp novel…

[thebitchesterbrothers]

Dream of the Endless is the prince of a small but wealthy and beautiful country. He’s not the oldest child so the crown will go to his oldest sister Death when his parents are going to die or abdicate one day.

He’s not important enough to rule one day but still too known to live an ordinary life. He grew up sheltered in a golden cage with certain expectations from his parents to live by. So he’s not surprised when one day his parents invite possible suitors for a lucrative wedding.

From Dreams perspective they leave him no choice but to flee from his own birthday party where he’s supposed to be sold off to the highest bidder.

And while his furious parents are busy firing his bodyguards Dream wanders through parts of the capital he’s never seen before.

He’s so high on the feeling of finally feeling free and unobserved for the first time in his entire life that he doesn’t pay close attention to his surroundings when he turns the corner.

Stumbling right into the arms of Hob Gadling.

Hob, who had spent the last ten years traveling and living abroad before returning home to finally settle down, maybe start a family of his own.

Hob, who never really kept track of the drama and scandals of the royal family.

Who doesn’t know that the beautiful - but slightly socially awkward and uptight - man in his arms is the most desired bachelor of his native country. And his prince.

But what he knows is that love at first sight most definitely exists because there’s no way in hell he won’t marry this dream of a man.

Needless to say that Dream spends the next week in Hobs tiny and barely renovated flat above the Inn Hob had recently bought. Half of that time he spends in Hobs embrace, the other half in his lap. Dream refuses to let his new love out of sight, clings to him, afraid Hob might find out about his family heritage and will try to get rid of him, trying not to get in trouble for hiding - and deflowering - the prince.

But eventually, on the eighth day Dream confesses he’s the prince everyone is so desperately looking for. The prince who’s supposed to be married off to a proper and, most importantly, rich spouse.

So on the ninth day Hob and Dream say yes to each other in an old chapel by the river, the only witnesses the priest and a tiny black cat who Dream takes home afterwards.

On the tenth day the royal family finds them and Hob finds out what he’s got himself into.

But looking at his gorgeous husband next to him he decides it’s all worth it if he gets to live the rest of his life side by side with him.