Tim: “I need to tell you something”
Bruce: “What did you do??”
Tim: “when Alfred was doing our taxes he noticed a missing check”
Bruce: “what did you do???”
Tim: “Before I answer do you trust me enough to understand that it was for a good reason and just leave it at that?”
Bruce: “What. Did. You. Do.”
Tim: “it’s all Jason’s fault! He is a BAD person, I’ve been telling you for years!”
—————
Bruce to Jason: “WHAT DID YOU DO?”
Jason: “okay now before I answer that-“
Bruce: “just tell me whatcha did”
Jason: “I got a DUI”
Bruce: “Jason!”
Jason: “it’s not as bad as it sounds”
Bruce: “How is driving drunk not bad???”
Jason: “I wasn’t exactly driving”
Bruce: “I don’t follow.”
Jason: “I was at the bar with Damian and I had a few”
Bruce: “DAMIAN?!”
—————
Damian: “With God as my witness I’ve never been to that bar in my life.”
Jason: “He knows.”
Damian: “Oh I’ve been there a bunch”
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Jason: You’re gonna believe Catwoman over your own brother?
Dick: Well one of you called me super smart and the other one is yelling at me right now.
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*Avengers meeting*
*Peter, bursting into the room*
Tony: kid, how-
Steve: you late
Tony: Steve, shut the f-
Peter: I kNoW I Am lAtE, thank you so much. My training wheels broke.
Steve *confused* training wheels?
Peter: yes, STEVE!! My training wheels. I have training wheels like a child! I also have a job like an adult. I aM a vErY cOmPlIcAtEd pErSoN.
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Batsis: you guys, I just bumped into Damian's Mom on the way over here.
Damian: WHAT!? Are you Insane?
Batsis: nah, Bruce had me tested.
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Dazai: And then Chuuya walked by ignoring me like I wasn't there.
Odasaku: Does he even know you like him?
Dazai: Idk, I've been ignoring him, been mean to him. What else can I do?
Odasaku:
Ango:
Odasaku: Sounds you've tried everything.
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Karai, about Mikey: It's my only brother's birthday!
Leo, Raph & Donnie: Excuse me??
Karai: Fine. It's my FAVORITE brother's birthday!
Leo, Raph & Donnie: Better.
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Tummy Ache
Nico: *gets a tummy ache and raises his hand*
Chiron: Yes, Mr. di Angelo?
Nico: I have a tummy ache, I'd like to see the doctor.
Octavian: A tummy ache?
Nico: Yes, OcTavian. I have a tummy and it aches, ergo, tummy ache
Octavian: Ergo?
Nico: It's latin, OcTavian.
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Kate: I’m looking after Nate.
Yelena: Where is he?
Kate: I didn’t say I was doing a good job.
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Weiss: *in labor* I can't believe you were late getting here. Where were you!?
Ruby: Well I was trying to install the car seat and I didn't hear my phone go off!
Weiss: Did you at least get it installed?
Ruby: Oscar did. Apparently it does take a genius.
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Charlie: Oh no, we're going to jail!
Percy: Bill's going to jail. I'm saying I was kidnapped.
Charlie: That's a good plan. You and I were kidnapped.
Bill: If I'm going to jail, we're all going to jail!
#disaster older siblings
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Finnick: Katniss asked me to look after Prim
Annie: Where is she?
Finnick: I never said I was doing a job
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Rhodey: what's got the 9yo so pissy?
Tony: We won't allow Harley into the lab.
Rhodey: Okay...
Tony: he's trying to help NASA land on Mars.
Rhodey:
Tony, rolling his eyes: he's just doing it out of spite
Stephen: Usually we'd encourage that kind of behavior but he's getting whiny about it
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KID: Are you trying to manipulate me?
Conan: Hey, being small and petty is fun.
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Race: Okay in my defense-
Crutchie: You have no defense, you’re an idiot
Race: That was a big part of my defense
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Bill: You’re really going to believe Richie over your own brother?
Georgie: Well one of you called me super smart and the other one is yelling at me right now
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Kunikida: Why is Dazai late, again?
Atsushi, writing Dazai's report: He said he's going through an existential crisis and won't get up of his futon cause he doesn't know what's real anymore. 😅
Kunikida: 😡
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