#incorrect dc quotes

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: Damian isn’t great about expressing his emotions.

Damian: If I say how I feel, people will say how they feel, and I don’t care.

[batfamgalore]

*Alfred is reminding Bruce to go to a school seminar for Damian that’s about helping the development of kids behavior*

Bruce: I don’t know why I have to go to this thing. In case you’ve forgotten I’ve raised a few kids.

*Cut to Jason pulling Dick’s hair and Dick poking Jason trying to escape. Tim, Steph, Cass, and Duke stare at Bruce*

Bruce: Why look at me? It was Alfred’s fault. I was barely around!

[kimjun]

Tim: What kind of girl do you prefer?

Jason: My wife.

Tim: Now what kind of girl do you prefer?

Roy: Ghost’s wife.

[incorrectgothamcity]

Bruce: What happened?! Jason: Do you want the long version or the short version? Bruce: Short?? Jason: Shit's fucked. Bruce: Okay, long. Jason: Shit's very fucked.

[justapersonwhitaname]

Bernard: I still find ironic that Bruce Wayne is married whit and ex-thief, i mean i wouldn't be surprised if she stole something from him too.

Tim: Well i see your point but there was always some good in her, plus, he couldnt leave her, even if he wanted to

Bernard: so...

Bernard: ...Bruce Wayne is a simp?

Tim:

Bernard:

Tim: Well-

Bernard:

Tim: God, I wish I could say otherwise but your so damn right.

Bernard: I knew it!

[arguablysomaya]

tim: bart, may I manipulate you to prove a point? bart: sure! I'm always down to be manipulated tim: aw, thanks, bart! you're a good friend bart: and you're a really good manipulator! we go hand in hand cassie: ...something seems off in that sentence, I can't put my finger on it

[ryemiffie]

Justice League incorrect quotes with quotes from my day:

Batman: I don't have a facebook.

Superman: I have a facebook!

Batman, scowling: You're a liability.

[livinglighting]

Batfamily adopts Billy AU #001

Tim walking into the batcave while holding a recently made coffee: You ever get so tired you start seeing spiders?

Dick: I'm more of a 'everything in slow motion' kind of guy

Jason: Me when i see bugs

Steph: Relatable

Duke just quietly minding his business while whistling(he also doesn't sleep well sometimes)

Billy who just had a mission as Captain Marvel, patrolled around Fawceet City and around a bit of Gotham too, had to do a essay as soon as he got to the Manor: Me when i take 17 benadryl and start seeing the Hat man..

Half of the people in the room(Tim and Bruce don't say anything, they both saw the dude once): the WHO?!

Billy making wild gestures by throwing his arms up in indignation: Oh! Is this not a safe space suddenly?!

✦     .     　⁺ 　 .     ✦     .     　⁺ 　 .

(i decided to turn my fav Brazilian meme on a incorrect quote lol)

Billy pointing to a box of cupcakes decorated with a 'Happy 1 Year!' on the box: What is that, why is there happy one year on it?🤨

Jason just shrugging before putting on a lovestruck face, his hands on his hip: It's for my 1 year of dating, dude😍

Billy staring at Dick with a blank face: What dating? With Invi?

Jason: What Invi?

Billy saying in the most monotone voice ever despite making a sassy kind of face: Invisable, ain't no sane person gonna date you.

Jason: ...

Billy pretending that nothing happened: Anyways i can't judge you, i would also buy those birthday or celebration baked goods, they always look pretty :3

Jason staring Billy down: Dude.

[ahfrickenfrick]

flash: kf said he had a school assignment and couldn’t come fight

the entirety of flash’s rogue gallery: oh well, we can always reschedule?? we know how much he likes chasing us… is there anything we can do to help? like we can tutor him, no problem at all:D

[rose-of-many-colors]

Y/N: I call her Robert with the way she be going Downey on my Jr.

Tim: (to Jason) You have a clear shot of my head take it

Jason: Yeah right. If I have to deal with them, then so do you

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: We have everything under control.

Alfred: Is that why everything is on fire?

[galaxymagitech]

Jason (Age 12): I’m not gonna die from inhaling cigarette smoke, quit worrying, B.

Jason (Age 15): *dies from smoke inhalation*

Jason (Age 19): Well, it wasn’t the cigarettes.

[incorrectgothamcity]

Bruce: So, your mother is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night. Damian: Why? Bruce: Because I've caught her trying to train the raccoons how to fight five times in a row. Batmom, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

[yjcorefourenjoyer]

AU that the batkids are all serious and bat-like ONLY WHEN BATMAN ISN’T AROUND

Like when they’re on their own team/out of Gotham? Most respected, calm and serious person there. They have a plan and it will work. “Oh yeah I memorized all the exits and people here the second I entered, you didn’t?” That’s them.

But in Gotham w/ Batman? Pranks galore and singing on patrol, they forget to sleep and forget to eat. When Batman tells them their gonna have a longer patrol they all sigh and complain while trying to give other siblings their work in exchange for doing that sibling’s chore.

But nobody knows that they act like that!! Batman would say something like

“Gosh my kids blew something up I have to go,”

AND EVERYONE WHOSE EVER MET THEM IS ALL CONFUSED LIKE “BUT THEIR A BAT?!?! HUH??!”

and Batman would respond

“Oh yeah you know them, always doing something their not supposed to”

JL: “NO?!”

[wondersinwaynemanor]

Bruce: Jaylad, I need you to be at the Wayne gala this weekend.

Jason: But why me, B? Why not pretty boy, Dickie? I'm sure the ladies miss him.

Bruce: Your brother has a double shift this weekend.

Jason: How about the brat? He needs the socialization.

Bruce: Will be at the Kents' for a sleepover.

Jason: How about -

Bruce: The rest of your siblings will be busy, lad.

Jason: But Bruce, I'll be busy too. And even though I wasn't, I don't want to be around those pretentious fuck - people.

Bruce: Diana will be there.

Jason: Why didn't you start with that? Absolutely! I'll be there, old man. And I'll need a new suit.

--

at the gala

Diana: Aw, you look really handsome, little prince.

Jason blushes and smiles like the little boy who saw Wonder Woman for the first time.

[vivianthepigeon]

Tim: “I need to tell you something”

Bruce: “What did you do??”

Tim: “when Alfred was doing our taxes he noticed a missing check”

Bruce: “what did you do???”

Tim: “Before I answer do you trust me enough to understand that it was for a good reason and just leave it at that?”

Bruce: “What. Did. You. Do.”

Tim: “it’s all Jason’s fault! He is a BAD person, I’ve been telling you for years!”

—————

Bruce to Jason: “WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Jason: “okay now before I answer that-“

Bruce: “just tell me whatcha did”

Jason: “I got a DUI”

Bruce: “Jason!”

Jason: “it’s not as bad as it sounds”

Bruce: “How is driving drunk not bad???”

Jason: “I wasn’t exactly driving”

Bruce: “I don’t follow.”

Jason: “I was at the bar with Damian and I had a few”

Bruce: “DAMIAN?!”

—————

Damian: “With God as my witness I’ve never been to that bar in my life.”

Jason: “He knows.”

Damian: “Oh I’ve been there a bunch”