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[0119k]

A Fleeting Dream

05/21/20

To feel and not to feel at the same time

Wallowing in despair and agony

The crushing defeat from something unattainable

Everything was in vain, every single one

All of it

Is there any hope left for salvation?

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All Alone

12/13/19

Going home

Sudden realizations

Lonely night

Weary soul and body

Worthless self

Under the full moon

No one to talk to

No one to listen

Everyone's a stranger

Always...

Always...

All alone.

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Tainted

11/20/19

The tinge of smell in the air

The nearly invisible dust on the tables

The touch of dirt on the floor

Slightly misophobic

Not wanting to come into contact

Persistently washing away the filthiness from within.

[0119k]

The Person That I've Become

11/19/19

My reflection is a facade

I have forgotten who I really was

Feelings, emotions that started unknowingly

Oh how sad it is to sink to the lowest.

I feel numb

Nothing at all

The hollowness inside has come back

Is there a way of saving me this time?

I don't like me

I don't like the person inside of me

The person that I have become

I hope that you will be gone.

[0119k]

Apathy

10/05/19

The cold is seeping through the bones

A heart once pulsating has lost the cognition of emotion

Slowly turning into an apathetic person

Turns out that no one's really rooting for you

People label themselves as so-called "friends"

Only when you are a book on top of the shelves

But after some time, the truth unravels

Lad's just waiting for your downfall

To look with discerning eyes

Forever etched in your mind

Jealous of a genuine bond

Hoping for a moment

To be treated with sincerity

Someday... Someday...

You'll see the one's who truly stays with you.

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Unknown

11/14/19

With my frail hands shaking

I dawdled for a while

It never occured to me

That a day like this would come.

A slight chill in the moonlit night

My throat started to tighten

Eyes well up silently

Chest is feeling heavy, feeling like a very fragile glass that could break with just a nudge.

I tried to search for something

Alas, I finally found it

Something to ease my pain or rather detract my attention to something else

So that the pain that have been piling up will be directed to another pain

That somehow makes me remember that I'm human after all.

It was the fourteenth of the eleventh month.

Please save me from going mad.

[0119k]

In the cloud recesses we dont say “ I love you’’ we say ‘Come back to gusu with me’ and i think thats beautiful

[0119k]

Life and death

It was a cold night brought by the downpour of rain

Melancholy adds up to a lingering pain

Tangled feelings, messed up thoughts

A sudden realization slapped my face

The moment of truth

What is so wrong with the desire to end one's life?

What is so wrong with the desire to be freed?

What is so wrong with thinking that death might be much more better than life?

Is there a meaning to life when it's like a living hell?

Is there much of a difference between life and death?

Maybe I wouldn't know the answer 'til the day I part with the world

Life is tiring people out

Death is peace

So I choose peace

[0119k]

AaaaaaAAaaaah i want this so bad,, take me to china pls TT ©

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I’M INTERNALLY SCREAMING!!!!!!!!1!11!!!

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But he and I both knew it would be foolish of him to invest his heart completely in me when even I wasn't sure where mine was.

America Singer (The Selection)

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his oh-so-cute smile  (≧◡≦) ♡

the most beautiful smile on the entire show

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imma try this

cube foreign line’s way of improving their korean pronunciation

[0119k]

Emotion

People have emotions

Feelings of happiness,  sadness, hatred, guilt and emptiness

Different people, different colors

But what are these unnecessary feelings inside of me?

Overflowing sadness

My heart wants to explode

But no one can notice

No one would notice.

My vision seems blurred--

Was what I thought

But it’s more like

Everything in the world

looks black and white

Everything’s different from what I see

And what other people see.

I have stopped waiting

For my prince whom I thought would come for me

To save me from all of these

I kept waiting but realized,

I am all alone

In a dark empty room

Where noise becomes a deafening silence

I have stopped dreaming

Of me waking up from this unending nightmare.

And I’m here thinking,

It’d be nice to drown myself

under the cold, cold rain shower

To wash away the agony

So my heart turns colder

and I won’t feel anything anymore.

Sans emotions. Sans everything.

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This life is yours to live... Just listen to the small voice within your heart.

Suddenly Seventeen (2016)

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who r u

Who do I miss?

I already forgot

Many days have passed

But still— the little pieces and memories

Scattered and shattered

Feelings are still lingering

Clocks continue to tick-tock

But inside a heart, a frozen time

Serene and lonely music accompanies

A lil bitter sweet

Sometimes teary-eyed

But I’ll be strong

Living with the memories of you

You whom I have forgotten who was even you.

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Hollow

Sometimes

I have thoughts like:

Do I deserve happiness?

Because everything that happens around me

Makes me feel like I don’t deserve it

... At all

Sometimes

I have thoughts like:

I wish I’ll never be happy

Because when I feel so elated

Loneliness comes after

As if it’s haunting me

It’s tiresome

One feels weary

Having thoughts like this

This emptiness.

This loneliness.

Hidden in the deepest part of my soul

Like a single coin

Bottled in a hollow container.

No one knows

How I feel inside

I am afraid to speak to anyone

So I write

But there is one thing I know

Inside of me

I want to be happy again.