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when I tell you I've got zero brain-mouth coordination I mean that once I was at this store with my mom and I thought she was behind me okay, so I was looking at some really nice earrings and i was about to tell my mom but then the saleswoman came to me n she was like hey d'you like 'em? and I looked up to say hello but instead I yelled MOM LOOK AT THIS in her face, then turned around and screamed at the top of my lungs HELLO, YES to where I thought my mom was (she wasn't there anymore)
i shit you not the whole store laughed at me for like 5 min straight
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fr if my coworkers don't have a funeral for my fish in the restroom with me I'm quitting

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I love this picture

Why does he look like a cat whose dumbass is angry his owner won't let him eat plastic???
Edit: even better is that John is the one pulling him away
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does anyone else have the random urge to take every glass, plate or any fragile shit and just snap it into the floor?
Like oh I could throw this glass bottle against the fucking wall what's gonna stop me
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If there's anyone out there eating rice or pasta with ketchup, lemme tell ya that you're a psycho.
KETCHUP DOESN'T GO ON RICE GODDAMMIT
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