80sreporter

[80sreporter]

You get it

Paul Simon caught searching for shoe lifts on Bing

[80sreporter]

Music in horror movies: universally fucks hard

Horror movies: pretty good

A lot of music: not that good

[80sreporter]

Horror movies: pretty good

A lot of music: not that good

[80sreporter]

Paul Simon caught searching ‘am I gay quiz’

Paul Simon caught searching for shoe lifts on Bing

[80sreporter]

Paul Simon caught searching for shoe lifts on Bing

[80sreporter]

Thanks to the invention of the Walkman, people have started having music-induced emotional breakdowns on public transport, heralding calls for sanctions placed on those found weeping when looking out of bus and train windows.

[80sreporter]

Hall and Oates

[80sreporter]

Art Garfunkel is writing more horny bisexual poetry, in New York

Art Garfunkel is writing horny bisexual poetry in Europe

[80sreporter]

Alf, of Alf fame, was found dead this morning in the Tanner family’s yard. Investigators say that they are treating the death as suspicious, and several local alleycats have been taken in for questioning.

[80sreporter]

Men are getting Perms

[80sreporter]

Art Garfunkel is writing horny bisexual poetry in Europe

[80sreporter]

Ladies like having pointed shoulders always

[80sreporter]

To celebrate the success of his newest album ‘Graceland,’ McDonalds is going to be offering a Paul Simon themed Happy Meal! Toys include a miniature working guitar, a miniature working drum, and (for a lucky few) a key to Art Garfunkel’s bachelor pad, which we had copied from the original we stole from Paul Simon!

[80sreporter]

Breaking: we are receiving reports of a limp wrist sighting on the Late Show with David Letterman this evening, allegedly attributed to a Mr. Simon. We will keep you updated as this story unfolds.

[80sreporter]

After Paul Simon’s appearance on The Muppet Show last week, a crew member who wishes to remain anonymous got in touch with all the juicy details — including those regarding the acclaimed songwriter’s backstage rendezvous with a certain green frog. More on page 3.

[80sreporter]

Bruce Springsteen found naked, unconscious and grubby after an unfortunate cheeseburger mine explosion accident

[80sreporter]

The editor responsible for the missing word in this sentence has been taken out back and shot

A child has received a brand new Rubik’s cube for their birthday, but screaming heard by neighbours suggests had not circled it in the catalogue.