a-hopeless-romantics-diary

[a-hopeless-romantics-diary]

wishing for someone to find me

for someone to save me from me

wishing for someone who could chase away the pain

someone who could chase away the demons in my head

wishing that i too could find someone that would do anything for me

someone who'd wish i would stay there

someone who'd never think of me as a burden

someone who'd love me for me

and not for what i could bring to the table

i wish that for me...

even if it will never come true...

- AAM, 19th May 2025, 12:26AM

[a-hopeless-romantics-diary]

dreaming of something that will never be hurts.

physically, mentally, spiritually.

i feel tingles in my feet and clenching in my chest.

it hurts.

to love someone who doesn't exist.

only in my mind.

never in my arms.

why does it have to be me?

- AAM, 16th May 2025, 12:14AM

[a-hopeless-romantics-diary]

Why do I still feel so lonely when I'm surrounded by people? Friends, family, even someone who calls himself my boyfriend.

Yet I still feel alone. Why?

- AAM, 2nd March 2025, 12:06AM

[a-hopeless-romantics-diary]

Tell me how I can love someone. Love someone who's once been there for me, even though not for everything, but was there to cheer me up and play games with me.

Tell me how do I not break his heart once he realizes that I've long since fallen out of love with him, and only there because I don't want to lose him.

How can I love someone who I've loved before but has let go of it? Once you move on from someone completely, even if they come back, it is so difficult to find your feelings for them again.

I wish I wasn't as cowardly. I wish I could tell him. I wish he would take it easy. I wish that we didn't have to complicate things with our feelings. I wish, I wish, I wish.

But there is nothing left to wish for. It is all said and done.

So now I have to live with this until I find the courage to finally tell him.

The truth. The painful truth.

- AAM, 24th April 2025, 11:47PM

[a-hopeless-romantics-diary]

I fantasize about love a lot. Wishing I had what other people had. The hugs, the kisses, the warm hands, the summer nights, the holiday dates, the dinner for two, the adorable matching outfits. All of it.

Why can't I do that? Why can't I experience that too? I want to do that so bad. I romanticize love, I dream of love, yet when it comes knocking on my door, I run from it as if it was a plague.

How I dream of love, yearn for love, yet have no courage to try because I'm afraid of rejection. Afraid that my flaws are too great, and that I may never find the one for me.

It is said a soul is created in pairs, two halves that make it whole. Yet where is my other half, the other piece to my completion?

- AAM, 24th April 2025, 1:13AM