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Self-Censorship (Chapter 14)
Self-censorship:
Choosing not to express doubts or other information that goes against a group’s plans or wishes.
I constantly feel as though I have to do self-censorship. I’ve dealt with a lot of criticism when it comes to the ideas I have on projects. they’re usually a little odd or out of the box, but often times that's what you need in a project. I've gotten so used to them being shut down that I really try to filter my ideas or at least the ideas that I give people for projects and group work. I had to deal with that pretty recently. we had a group presentation that acted as a final for that particular class. We were theoretically given $3,000 to improve the greater Lafayette community I had a few suggestions that I voice (like free CPR classes) that were quickly shot down. I had more, but I realized that I was very much alone in liking my ideas. I went ahead and just let them do whatever topic they wanted and to run with it (which was, in this case, stronger and better bike pumps). I didn't exactly like it, and I don't even know how to ride a bike, and I felt like that money could have theoretically gone to something that was more important. after all, it was supposed to be the greater Lafayette area, not JUST Purdue. They settled on that idea pretty quickly, so I finally picked up the torch and went ahead, doing their idea that they wanted to. I've learned to adapt and just work with what I'm given. I regret not voicing my opinion any more than I did, but there wasn't getting through to them it seemed like. ��
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Stereotypes(Chapter 13)
Stereotypes:
Beliefs that associate groups of people with certain traits.
Stereotypes run rampant quite a bit today. They’ve always done that, though. No matter where you are, there’s always some person that will bring up stereotypes to describe someone. They may be right, they may be wrong. Even though we’ve fought for change over the years, there are still very painful and incorrect stereotypes that are everywhere. I have dealt with stereotypes personally for the majority of my life. If someone finds out I’m bisexual, they assume that I date only girls and that any female friends that I have I want to have relations with and I'm only friends with them to have sex with them. those stereotypes are very much false, yet they’re still something I deal with. I also wear a lot of black and listen to heavy rock and metal music. the amount of times people have assumed I’m satanic or that I kill goats is insane! just because I like those two things does not automatically make me a devil worshiper and make me sacrifice animals in rituals. That's not me at all. Those two are definitely the most hurtful ones I deal with on a pretty consistent basis. this has forced me to kinda keep quiet about those parts of me, for fear of stereotyping and being misjudged.
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Smiling Depression
Visit –> www.all-about-psychology.com/smiling-depression.html to read an informative article on the concept of smiling depression by Olivia Remes, PhD Candidate, University of Cambridge.
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Communal Relationship (Chapter 12)
Communal relationship:
Relationships based on mutual love and concern, without expectation of repayment.
I wish all relationships were communal relationships. It would be sweet to see relationships that don't feel incredibly forced and gifts. I’ve always personally seen these as genuine relationships (not to say that the other types aren���t) who last a lot longer. My boyfriend and I are definitely in a communal relationship. We do buy each other gifts, but I’ve never once expected repayment of anything I’ve given him. I once sent him $450 to help with his computer (he’d spilled soda on the old one, ruining it). I know that most of his friends are online, and it’s one of the few things that he does own. I know it meant a lot to him, and with him making miniumum wage, I knew it would take him a long time to be able to pay for a nice computer. He paid his portion, $450 as well, getting him a new computer less than a week after his old one broke. I don't expect any money back at all. I did it because I love him and I know how much that computer meant. it was rewarding enough to be able to see how happy he was to be able to get back on and play games. it was 100% worth it. I never want him to repay me for anything. it’s just not how we work. I pay for some things, he pays for some things, it all works out in the end. it's about how we love each other and care for each other.
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Rejection (social exclusion) (Chapter 11)
Rejection (social exclusion):
Being prevented by others from forming or keeping a social bond with them; the opposite of acceptance.
Most of us have dealt with rejection at some point in our lives. Whether it was early on, in school. Maybe it’s later in life, as an adult. But everyone’s dealt with it. Some people deal with rejection better than others, and some deal with it more often. I personally felt a lot of rejection in high school. The biggest examples were when groups of friends would section off a row or two of desks. You weren't allowed to sit there. It was for their friend group only, even though in most classes there wasn’t assigned seats. It was pretty common to have to sit on the outskirts of the desks, or up in front to avoid dealing with these large groups of people. I kept to myself quite a bit, which didn’t help this division of students. If I had maybe spoken to more students, or specifically those students, I would have been included in those groups more often (although they were always the troublemakers and typically their grades weren't the best, so I'm glad I stayed out).
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Displaced Aggression (Chapter 10)
Displaced Aggression:
Any behavior that intentionally harms a substitute target rather than the provocateur.
Anyone who has worked in retail will tell you all kinds of stories of displaced aggression. People have their problems, and that’s perfectly fine. We all have bad days or just times that are rougher than others. Yet, it seems like those who work at stores end up dealing with a blunt force of it. It can be tiny things, like their boyfriend being a jerk, to big things like dealing with domestic abuse or their family member is in jail. I’ve worked at Walmart for a few months, and there’s one night I won’t ever forget. There was a woman who went through my line. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Yet, as she got closer, you could tell she was mad. When someone comes through my line mad, I typically don’t talk much to not anger them anymore. Well, she didn’t care. She started yelling at me for things I had nothing to do with (the price of things, where things were located, etc). I apologized, as per company policy. But it didn’t stop there. She then started to yell at me about her son being a dead-beat dad, not supporting the child he had. I was just her punching bag for the majority of the time I checked her out. Even when I told her the total, she was extremely grouchy about all of these things I had no control over. It really took a toll on my attitude for the day, making it hard to be as cheerful with the other customers.
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Reciprocity (Chapter 9)
Reciprocity:
The obligation to return in kind what another has done for us.
Reciprocity is something that I always feel. I always feel as though I have to return favors or any small thing that someone has done for me. It’s always been an obligation of mine, and I think it always will be. I am always appreciative of any favors or tasks being done, any gifts of any sort, or anything along those lines. My parents really instilled it in me to appreciate things that others do for me. One of the most memorable times I felt reciprocity all the time when my father cooks for me. Since I live with him, he does do it quite a bit. Yet I’m always thankful when he does. He works late, and so sometimes we may not eat until 8:30 or so because he’s only just gotten home from work. So I cook occasionally. I can’t cook a lot yet, but I do what I can. Or I may just help with sides while he showers and relaxes after work. Even though I live with a single dad, he still does an amazing job of making dinner feel very homey and complete.
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Halo Effect (Chapter 8)
Halo Effect:
The assumption that because people have one desirable trait, they also possess many other desirable traits.
I feel as though a lot of people fall for the halo effect. Usually, it’s good looks or charms that convinces people that bad people may be good, or that their bad qualities are not nearly as bad as they are. A lot of celebrities get away with it, sometimes for a long time. However, I do have a personal story about someone with a halo effect. There was a girl (who will remain nameless) that was nice to the teachers. She didn’t really give any sass, was generally good at answering questions, never really caused trouble. So the teachers didn’t really pay too much attention to her. however, she was cruel to everyone else. If you got past that niceness that she gave to only some, she was extremely rude to others, calling them names, being rude on social media, you name it. If you ended up on her bad side (which was fairly easy) it was hard to have your name not tarnished by the end of the year, or you had rumors that were constantly spread. Those teachers were shielded a bit since she never talked about then, but everyone else was a potential target. She had her little group of people that followed her and did what she asked and talked smack about you, and that was it. It was very Mean Girl-esque.
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